Lifestream

Oh, The Places You’ll Go…

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It’s weird setting out on a trip, unsure of where you’ll go, how long you’ll stay, and when you’ll return. This is our third such excursion across the U.S. Each day begins with an early morning walk with our dogs. I take one early for about two miles, and Sara joins me for the next three. Some of that got interrupted when our big dog tore her ACL, but she’s back at it for the second part of the walk now.

This is my favorite time of day: getting up for sunrise (and sometimes well before it) and watching the earth come alive, first as the sky brightens with rich colors and then as the light spreads across the landscape.

I welcome Jesus into my day, reflecting on the day past and the new one coming. My best thoughts often come when I’m relaxing with him and holding some question or concern in his presence. A lot of what fills my blogs, podcasts, and chapters of my new book come from these early morning walks. I also daydream a bit and listen to podcasts about Jesus, news, culture, or even golf.

Here are some of the scenes we enjoyed on this trip:

West Texas

Perdido Bay

York, SC

Roanoke, VA

Charlottesville, VA

Richmond, VA

Sykesville, MD

York, PA

Lexington, KY

Louisville, KY

Downtown Independence, MO

Denver, CO (Washington, Park)

Green River, UT

 

Not all our morning walks are this lovely; we often walk around our RV park to get our miles in. Tomorrow, we will arrive home and walk again under Mt Boney, which presides over our Newbury Park, CA neighborhood.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Last Leg of a Beautiful Trip

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As Sara and I turn toward home, our hearts are filled with joy from this time together, and the countless conversations we’ve had with people from all over the U.S. We even had people fly in or drive great distances to be with us for some of our gatherings. There were also many spontaneous opportunities to connect with people that I hope were as enriching to them as they were for us.

For those keeping track of our dog Zoey, she is in the seventh week of her recovery from ACL surgery in Florida. She continues to progress wonderfully and now walks two miles daily with us. The only challenge has been keeping our puppy away as she aches to play with her best friend.  We are grateful for how all of this turned out.

We are in the Denver area this week to spend time with our son and make some personal connections with those who want to meet with us. We have traveled almost 6,000 miles in the RV since we left our home in California on April 1. We will be headed back home on Monday and are ready to see what next chapter God will write with Sara and me. Thanks for all of your love, prayers, encouragement, and support.

One of my favorite conversations was with fifty or so people in a state-run rehab facility in Maryland who were transitioning back into society from serving prison terms. All had read or watched THE SHACK, and some had read HE LOVES ME. They were ready to talk the moment I sat down. I was impressed with the incredible hunger in the room and the thoughts they invited me to wrestle through with them.

Many shared how they had a jaded view of God based on things that had happened to them and on things they’d heard about God from other Christians. But THE SHACK’S portrayal of God had them considering new possibilities. The questions were passionate and kind, and I left there deeply touched by the opportunity to be with them. Many wanted to know a God who would love them in their failures and make a home in them so they could find their life in him. I pray that God is revealing himself and his love to them.

Also, during this trip, we raised over $70,000 from people on my blogs and podcast to help people in Kenya regain their water supply after devastating floods had wiped it out. We restored the wells in time to save the corn crop that was already growing. For those who gave to help them, I hope you hear their gratefulness resound in your heart. You saved some lives that no one else in Kenya seems to be able to help these tribes in North Pokot.  Thank you so much.

One of our team in Kenya sent this note and the following video:

Hi brother Wayne, our team arrived here Wednesday last week and we have been working tirelessly day and night to make sure the community has received all the items. People here in Kenya volunteered two trucks to carry the donations. We have served over 600 households with food and supplies. This is the great work and it has given us the new experience again to interact, to share the word and to impress there life.

The irrigation program has been restored and protected for future emergency.  The maize plantations were withering and we thank all the supporters for making the irrigation system running. We are grateful for their  great support and ask God to bless them abundantly.

If you cannot see video in your email, you can view it on the blog.

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Holding on to Love

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Sara and I are making a big turn up the east coast this week and begin our journey westward on Monday, with stops in Lexington and Louisville this weekend. From there, it looks like we’re going to go through St. Louis and Kansas City to visit our son in Denver.  If you’re along that way and want to connect with us, please get in touch.

For those concerned about our dog Zoey, she had her four-week, post surgery check-up for her ACL, and it is healing well.  We still have not gotten biopsy results back. Crazy!

Here are two videos you might enjoy:

Here are some thoughts from a conversation last night, many of you might find helpful:

“Lose track of his love and you’ll get lost in the darkness; hold on to his love and he will light you a path through it. ”

And, water returns to the tribes in North Pokot:

Thanks to all who have helped us with the need in Kenya. We’re getting close to the total that will help meet their needs for water and relief in this time of crisis. You can read my blog about the current need.

And it is not too late if you still want to help us. We still need about $10,000, if you have some extra. Again, every dime you give goes straight to Kenya; we take nothing out for administrative or financial fees.

God has been so good to us on this journey, with so many conversations and journeys to share, whether it’s people coming to a meeting or a chance encounter getting a haircut, we’re having a lot of fun coming alongside others and helping them see how Jesus might be leading them, What a delight to wander across the U.S. and see what doors Father opens, and what cinnamon rolls we can find!

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A Day of Rich Celebration

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We woke up today in Richmond, VA after a beautiful two days in Charlottesville, VA, with long-time friends, the kind of people you just enjoy hanging out with.

We also woke up today celebrating forty-nine years as a married couple, and we will be having lunch today with the man who officiated at that ceremony. He has remained a close friend ever since and we’re excited to get some time with him and his wife today.

Yes, it’s hard to believe we have had this long together, and to think it almost ended in tragedy two years ago. We are grateful for every year we’ve had together, knowing just how much of that is a gift of God, not an achievement of ours.

People have been incredibly supportive through our trauma story, have celebrated with us our coming back together, and have cheered us on as we build a totally new life together. Every time I look at Sara I am giddy with delight that this turned out the way it did and in awe of her courage to take on the darkness and find Jesus inside of it. We had a less than one percent chance of surviving the trauma in our marriage and somehow Jesus navigated us into that space.

Everyone’s story is different and the way Jesus wants to work in us is unique to our story and our person. If your takeaway from our story of the last two years is what awesome people Wayne and Sara are, then you have missed the point. We simply followed him as best we could. The plot line of our story is not how good we are but how great God is that he could redeem us from so great a tragedy and lead us through it to a renewed relationship of deep love and affection.

Truly, he saved us!  And he wants to do the same for everyone reading this. The outcomes may be different, but the grace he has to lead us through the storm and into the safety of his heart is available to everyone.

On an unrelated note, we have received about $60,000 thus far for the $79,000 need our friends are facing in Kenya. They are about to lose everything—their water, crops, and life itself. You can read my blog about the current need. I am so grateful for the way so many of you have responded and so quickly to this need. Your generosity overwhelms us with joy and gratitude on this day as well.

And it is not too late if you still want to help us.

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Sara’s Story of Hope and Healing

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Sara and I are in Charlotte, NC. The first day we got here, Vince Coakley asked me to be on his radio show. He hosts a Transformation Tuesday segment, and wanted us to share our story. Unfortunately, Sara had a conflicting appointment, so I went to the studio alone. We had a great conversation. (It begins at 31:40.)

That evening, Sara and I had been asked to share with The Barn Brothers, a group that normally meets in a barn south of Charlotte. The barn is currently being refurbished, however, so they met in a furniture store. (see picture above). I’ve shared in a lot of different venues, but this was a first for me.

Normally, it’s a men’s meeting but for this night they opened it up so anyone could come. They wanted us to share our story there, too.  Sara and I talked about The Deepest Love in the Darkest Place, the title of a new book we are working on. We hope our story encourages people to embrace God in their pain, not try to run from it or get it fixed first.  In the utter darkness of our experience two years ago, Sara and I discovered a deep place in Father’s love that held us through the storm and launched us on a trajectory of healing. Sara was amazing! It was the best I’ve ever heard her share, so clear, so deliberate, so full of hope for others. I admire her so much for the way she tells her story and how much she cares for the people she’s talking to. And people hung on her every word. Tears flowed, stories found their way to the surface of deep trauma and people were grateful for Sara telling this story.

If it wasn’t for Sara’s insistence, we wouldn’t be sharing any of this. I would have hidden this all away in my heart, except that she wanted to give hope to others in the same way others had encouraged her. Yes, it was recorded, and you can watch and listen here. This story goes way beyond Sara and me; it is also about God’s redemption in the world and how his heart breaks for us when we feel lost in the darkness. He’s not there to judge our faults, but to hold our hearts and point the way forward.

After telling our story last night, we focused on three encouragements for those who came:

  1. Risk the darkness. When something dark emerges in your life, whether it be trauma, a false belief being uncovered, or an entangling sin, don’t run from it or push it aside. Invite God into the darkness. You will find him a comforting presence and a guide to move forward.
  2. When darkness pushes you into fear, anxiety, or despair, ask Jesus how to move you back to a comforted place in his care. You cannot make positive changes outside the window of tolerance when you feel panicky or terrified. Instead, lean into his heart where you can be comforted first and then see what he wants to do from there.
  3. Be a soothing, safe presence for others who find themselves struggling with darkness. They don’t need our shame or condemnation; they have that in mega-doses. What they need is a caring heart and a listening ear.

Here are some texts sent to us this morning:

  • “What an amazing evening last night! Your redemption story is by far the most remarkable one I have ever seen.”
  • I believe lives were changed and encouraged. Sooo much courage from you both. What an example of true love, how to love someone unconditionally. My heart was challenged in a good way.”
  • “This is the most significant and impactful message of the Team Jacobsen mission, built on the foundation of the messages from prior decades.”
  • “Last night was deep, powerful and I think, like Sara’s amazing grace chains breaking, a lot of other chains broke last night too. Let’s keep taking ground…”

I love how Jesus walked us through the trauma and the darkness that surrounded it, rescued our relationship, and now we are able to encourage others when trauma comes knocking in their lives. I have learned more about God and how he works with broken humanity in the last two years than my previous sixty plus.

We finished last night with Isaiah 61, the declaration of the New Covenant—God’s desire to have us understand better how Jesus heals the broken-hearted, sets the oppressed free, opens blind eyes to his truth, and proclaims the year of God’s favor. No wonder that was the first text Jesus preached, according to Luke 4.

To Jesus and his Father, our salvation wasn’t primarily about the after-life, but about being saved today from all the places darkness seeks to own us. That’s the Gospel.

And for those concerned about Zoey, she is now two weeks out from her surgery. We took her to the vet today to have her stitches removed from her two surgeries, and all looks well. She is thrilled to have the cone-head off and to be able to begin to walk a little bit outside. She’s been such a good sport, but we’re excited to get her out of her caged quarters and join the family again. Mandy, the seven-month-old pup, was able to sleep next to her again, which delights her little heart.

So, all is well. We’re having some wonderful personal connections here as well. We have a few more days here in Charlotte before heading north to Roanoke, Charlottesville, Richmond, Baltimore, and Lancaster County, PA.  The journey continues…

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An Update from the Road

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This weekend we finish up in Austin, TX before heading to a two-day stop in College Station, TX. Then, we are off to further points east, as we stay on I-10 through Louisiana and Mississippi before a ten-day stay in Alabama.

We’ll stop first along the beach near Pensacola, FL and then go upstate to Anniston for a weekend with some good friends, and an open gathering on Saturday, April 27. You can get details here or from my Travel Page.

Also, I want to let you know that Sara is my guest on this week’s podcast at The God Journey, as Kyle is still on hiatus due to some family needs. Sara talks about the tools she has gained over the last two years to help her unrelenting passion to find the truth about what happened to her, why she reacts to circumstances the way she does, and how God’s truth is transforming her to let her become all that Jesus created her to be.

I love this story so much. I’ve had a front row seat to miracle after miracle as Jesus’s light has found its way into the nooks and crannies of Sara’s heart and mind. And I’m incredibly proud of the courage Sara has demonstrated not to shy away from this process at all even though it has been deeply painful at times.

From the darkness into the light is what salvation really means. It’s not about heaven and hell; it’s about Jesus saving her from the cruelties of a dark and broken world.

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Can You Hear Your Name?

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Back in 2015, Anne, a friend of mine, sent me a poem about the Bride of Christ that had taken shape in her when reading Jeremiah. I shared it on an episode of The God Journey.

After listening to a recent podcast on prayers for the Bride and my first three chapters of my new book, It’s Time: Letters to the Bride of Christ at the End of the Age, she sent it to be again to see if I remembered. I hadn’t, but reading it again it really resonated with some of the things we’ve been seeing and sharing here.

When she sent it to me, this is what she wrote:  “How you talk about her just made me want to dance… she has been waking up and hearing her bridegroom and finding her first love again, throwing off the shackles. The days of the kings are over; they no long have sway over her.

“I have such a cry in my heart for the bride, for her to come out of the complacency we have been pressed into, I pray this adds to the sound of the call out. The world has changed beyond recognition in the last years since we talked and I feel so much that, like Esther,  the bride is called for such a time as this. He calling is wakening his bride because he is speaking to the world through her, and in these days, her voice is needed even more so.

In the meantime Hebrews 11:9-10 is my ongoing experience.  I live in a land of promise as a stranger, dwelling in these temporary residences with other heirs of the same promise (blind mostly to that promise), all the while looking for a city whose builder and maker is God. Those last words are a deep cry; I do feel so much a stranger, as if I speak a different language and struggle to connect with any of the words I hear elsewhere.  That is it was such a delight to hear your recording and your sense of God’s timing.

The bride!  Yes.  Its time!! I am so looking forward to hearing more of your words in this space and all that the Lord is leading you into.  Thanks you for speaking out now.

Here is her poem;

This is what the Lord says:
This, the Church,
She the bride, glorious without spot or wrinkle
Beautiful.
Born out of brokenness, out of grief,
bearing in her body the sufferings of her Beloved,
full of Joy and Hope and Glory

She has been quiet, unseen, her beauty hidden
behind steeples and bells
behind long winded words and hell fire with brimstone
behind false shepherds and false gospels
behind strange fire and witchcraft
behind well-intentioned but shackling care and control

It’s been a long time but NOW.
He is calling her forth;
He is saying her name.
You hear it, like a whisper on the wind.
It echoes in your dreams.
She is the this; She is what the Lord is saying.

In every moment he is sounding her name
until every rock and tree,
lamb and lion shake with the sound.
For this has been their groaning, for so long

And she is rising,
shaking off the dust and mothballs of her fear induced coma.
She is his Beloved and He is hers.
To her he makes known the unfathomable riches that are in Him.
Through her, he makes known the manifold wisdom of God
to all those who sought to keep her hidden, quiet and afraid.

Can you hear your name?
Beloved.
Hear. Your. Name.
For you are She.

Ann McGowan, 2015

_____________________

Note:  Sara and I have begun our journey east. We are parked in Wimberley, TX today, outside of Austin, preparing for the total eclipse.  This was supposed to be a cloudy day here, but the son just burned off the clouds and is shinning. Hopefully, it will stay that way until it overtakes the moon, about at 1:35 CDT.

And then we are heading to points east, so if you want to connect across the I-10 through Louisiana, Mississippi, or Alabama, let us know. From there we may curve through Atlanta on our way down to Jekyll Island and then head up through Columbia and Charlotte before heading into Virginia, either by way of Raleigh or Roanoke. That remains to be seen. Then we’ll be in Richmond, VA, Sykesville, MD, outside of Baltimore, before turning west toward home with some stops in Kentucky and Denver as well as points in between.

For us this trip is about encouraging the Bride, however we can, as well as enjoying the sights of this amazing country.

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Free of Shame and Full of Love

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Due to the fact that Sara and I will be leaving soon, we’re doubling-up on our study of He Loves Me. This weekend we’ll be tackling two more chapters. Chapter 20 is about living free from shame in our relationship to the Father though Jesus’s work on the cross.  Chapter 21 is about swimming in the river of love, and how when we are loved well by God, we will love well in the world.

These two freedoms lie at the heart of living loved and will change how you naturally live in the world. Can you imagine living in this kind of freedom without forcing yourself?

You will soon find that your security in God’s love and your awareness of his unlimited patience with you will redefine the other relationships in your life.

Instead of demanding that others conform to what you think is right, you will find yourself letting others have their own journey. By no longer manipulating them to what you think is best you can allow them the same freedom God gives you. You will let them choose their own course based on nothing but the clarity of truth as they understand it and the willingness of their conscience. It is the task of the Holy Spirit to convict, not yours.

Instead of despising people who are broken by sin you will be touched by the depth of bondage that holds them captive. You will also see better how the Father responds to them and then know how you can as well. Sometimes that means you’ll stand back and let the consequences of sin take their course as the father did with his prodigal son. At other times it means you’ll jump into the mess with them and help them find God’s way out.

Instead of saying what you think people want to hear, you’ll look for ways to be gently honest with them. Human love seeks people’s comfort at the expense of truth. God’s love seeks people’s comfort in the midst of truth. He doesn’t avoid the difficult moment or hold his peace just to be nice. As you experience that in your own relationship with him you’ll find yourself unable to be disingenuous with people.

Finally, by looking to God as the resource for your needs you will find yourself not overloading your friendships with expectations that are easily disappointed. By vesting all of our hope in God’s ability to meet our needs we will not need to force our friends to do it. I know God will often use other believers to extend his gifts and graces to me, but now I also know I don’t get to choose the vessel he uses. In other words, I always look for how God is revealing himself to me through other believers, but I don’t trick myself into thinking it has to come from the specific person I want him to use.

Disappointed expectations destroy relationships because we look to others in ways God wants us to look to him. Such expectations set us up for enduring frustration. However, when we give up our expectations of people, we’ll find God uses some of the most unlikely people to lend us a hand. Our frustration will yield to gratefulness however, whenever, and through whomever God uses others to touch us or us to touch others.

We’ll be talking about all of this at our next gathering of the He Loves Me Book Club, which will meet this Saturday, March 23, at 11:00 am Pacific Daylight Time.  This is two hours earlier than previously announced because of a schedule conflict. I apologize for the inconvenience.

We will be focusing on chapters 20 and 21. This is our second-to-the last gathering but even if you have not joined us before, you’re welcome to join us tomorrow and process how you can live more freely in love as well.

If you want to join us in this Zoom conversation, you can get details and the link by liking the Facebook Group Page, or if you are not a member of Facebook, you can write me for a link to be sent each time we meet. For those who just want to watch, we stream them live now on my Lifestream Ministry Page, since a new glitch in Zoom is not allowing us to post them to my Facebook Author Page. I will, however, post it to the Author Page once the conversation has concluded. You will be able to view it there along with  all the previous discussions we’ve had about He Loves Me.

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Lifestream Going Mobile – Update

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A lot of you have asked about our travel plans this spring, and it seems we have a little more clarity on where we might wander.  To be honest, these are “windblown trips”, without a lot of fore planning because of the spontaneous opportunities that seem to come up wherever we go. They are a mix of vacation for Sara and me, as well as time helping people process things we’ve spoken about on the podcast or written about in my blogs or books. It’s a great mix of wonderful conversations and time alone for us as a couple.

So, you get to pick our brains and hearts about learning to live in love, dealing with religious abuse and rejection, finding relational community, living in the river of love, finding your way through trauma, the call to the Bride, or anything else that will help you process your journey.

As I previously announced, we are headed to the Austin area to see the total eclipse, skies permitting at the beginning of April. We’re also hanging out with some fellow travelers there before turning more eastward toward Alabama and the Carolinas. We not sure of our routing here, other than to get to Anniston, AL.  As of now, we are planning on going all the way to the east coast. We have some invitations in Richmond, VA and near Baltimore, MD that will be the furthest reach of this trip before turning back west. We’re going to try to get to Lexington to respond to an invite, but how we get back to visit our son in Colorado from there is still up in the air.

Why do I share this?  In case you’re somewhere along this path and Father puts anything on your heart about a connection, or you want to come meet us somewhere if you’re not. If so, please get in touch.

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Managing Sin and Having Faith

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I think we got it backwards when I was growing up.

We were told relationship with Jesus depended on us managing our sin well—sincerely trying to abstain from it, meeting with accountability groups, and when we failed, we had to make sure we confessed by telling God how sorry we were and (nobly, though falsely) promising we’d never give in again. The only problem was none of that worked.

Now I know it wasn’t meant to.

I also learned that my relationship with God depended on me trusting him completely. I had as much success with that as I did managing my sin. Certainly, I wanted to trust him that way but every day demonstrated that I was incapable of doing so.

That made the Christian journey either exhausting game of pretending to be better than I was, or a frustrating, self-condemning slog through

The part we missed was, “Apart from me you can do nothing.”

We were never meant to conquer our sin or convince ourselves of a faith we didn’t have. That’s how the New Covenant flipped everything on its head. Instead of managing our sin or trying to trust more, he only wants us to learn how to live alongside him in the reality of his love. I now know that as I learn to live in his love, the power of sin loses its grip on me and my trust in him grows by his power instead of by my effort.

Christianity is afraid to give that freedom to people for fear that they will simply use grace as an excuse to indulge their flesh and serve themselves. We keep twisting up the gift of redemption by trying to find Scriptures that will scare people back into self-effort. I addressed that problem in Chapter 18 of He Loves Me.

We make a fatal mistake when we try to force Scripture to offer redemption to those who only want to go to heaven, but who do not want a relationship with the Living God. By trying to offer them some minimal standard of conduct that will also allow them to qualify for salvation while continuing to pursue their own agenda, we distort the gospel and destroy its power, and we concoct legalistic games to give them a false sense of security.

In fact the New Testament has nothing to say to people who want God’s salvation without wanting him. The Scriptures are an unabashed invitation to live as a child of the most incredible Father in the universe. As you do, you will yearn to be like him. You will discover that God’s way is better than anything you can imagine and you’ll lay down your agenda to embrace his.

_____________

Righteousness doesn’t produce relationship. Relationship produces righteousness.

We’ll be talking about all of this at our next gathering of the He Loves Me Book Club, which will meet this Saturday, March 16, at 1:00 pm Pacific Standard Time.  We will be focusing on chapters 18 and 19—how living loved gives us a different approach to sin than human effort could ever achieve, and a real grasp on trust that we can’t muster on our own. Even if you have not joined us before, you’re welcome to join us tomorrow and process how you can live more freely in love as well.

If you want to join us in this Zoom conversation, you can get details and the link by liking the Facebook Group Page, or if you are not a member of Facebook, you can write me for a link to be sent each time we meet. For those who just want to watch, we stream them live now on my Lifestream Ministry Page, since a new glitch in Zoom is not allowing us to post them to my Facebook Author Page. I will, however, post it to the Author page once the conversation has ended. You can see it there as well as all the previous discussions we’ve had about He Loves Me.

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