We know that Sara had her innocence stolen at four years old. Instead of growing up with the heart of a playful child, she lived guarded, navigating the terrors of the trauma she didn’t understand. Instead of a carefree childhood, she learned to survive, especially when criticized.
Retreats have not been one of Sara’s favorite environments. There were too many people to engage, too many expectations to manage, and trying to stay hidden when her husband was often the focus wore her out in only a few hours. It was a joy to watch her share her story, hold other people’s stories, and freely participate in meals, conversations, and play without wearing herself out. I sat back and watched the honesty, kindness, and wisdom she displayed just being herself around others who were also navigating their own pain.
God is changing her, and I’ve had a ringside seat to watch it all unfold. As the trauma gives way to Father’s healing, she is recovering the innocence she lost long ago. She laughs more heartily, shares more freely, and can express her curiosity in ways that open doors in the hearts of others.
It all made for a treasured weekend. The people God drew to Westcliffe were just the right ones for the time he wanted us to have together. So many had faced trauma in their lives and still were. I think some doors were opened to help people discover new pathways to their own innocence.
We spent a lot of time on Sunday contemplating how important it is for God to restore our innocence if we are going to learn to play in his reality. How can you recognize his love if you feel unworthy of it? How can you be at rest in his goodness if you are still performing to try to earn it or focused on your weaknesses and failures? What Jesus accomplished on the cross cleanses us so that each day we can become freshly innocent before him. That allows us to hold onto his love and cease our self-effort. Then, we can let him play with us like little children as he invites us into the truth that will liberate us from the lies of darkness and the condemnation of our damaged minds.
I was half-joking when I playfully called this trip Sara and I are taking a Return to Innocence Tour on a recent podcast. But, at least, this first stage has become that. Innocence allows us to participate in God’s grace without guilt or shame, to see who we really are beneath the disappointments and failures that seem to pile up in a broken age. I suspect we’ll be talking about it a lot more in days to come and in conversations across this country.
On a personal note, Sara and I, along with our pups, made it to Golden, CO, yesterday afternoon, where we will hang out for at least this week. We have a son nearby and are enjoying a chance to catch up with him. We also have a septic leak on the RV, so it’s in the shop today getting repaired while we sit outside Panera. This is our second attempt to get it fixed, and we’re hoping this one takes.
We’ve heard from so many people celebrating Sara’s journey with us and letting us know they have some similar needs and experiences to sort out with God. We appreciate every email and invitation to visit and are excited to see where God points us and how we can help others recover their true nature from the lies of darkness.
Even at the retreat, we prayed not just for those who were able to attend but for God’s children across the world. You can join us. Ask God to help you recapture that sense of innocence that will allow you to rise above the harassment of a broken world and catch the wind of the Spirit that will elevate your heart into God’s reality where light always wins over darkness, truth over lies, and healing over brokenness.
That’s why Jesus came 2000 years ago and why he draws toward your heart today so that you can know what it is to live free and full in his goodness.
It is a joy to hear how God is walking with Sara and you. How he is revealing his love and wonder is amazing.
Thank you! REALLY, really thank you!
What deep and healing truth you speak when you have been willing to share your journey,in this you have brought an invitation for all to receive what Father has for us, I for one want to thank you for your loving and caring hearts 💕 your a wonderful example to all.
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Hi Wayne..I sincerely share Sara’s trauma about her crashed innocence as she was a kid and all the consequences..I lived also this same tragedy in my family.. Sara’s luky to have by her side her husband and children and maybe few friends..I have nobody till now except God – whom I can not touch nor feel, but He has given me Faith to hold on till I meet Him…in Heaven.and THE precious gift.of Forgiving those who sinned against my innocence because, That’s is “the answer my friend, that’s blowing in the wind”..Father, forgive them their sins against me as You forgive me “…Forgiveness is God’s Way of Loving…when He gives you this revelation, It’s just AMASING…You don’t suffer or cry anymore for yourself as a victim, but you suffer and cry for the sinner because actually he (she) who took my innocence away is the real “victim” possessed by the Spirit of evil..he (she) is the one who has hurt me, not on the other side..When God told me to “forgive my Father for the incest(and my mother ) and all the people who didn’t beleive me so I stayed alone, God tought me the way out of all this tragedy”, to FORGIVENESS , how to forgive my ennemis…”To pray as Jesus Prayed”for them so that He can save those who sinned against me, and “forgive them because they do not know what they’re doing…” and when I discovered this, this God’s teaching me that if I wanted to Love as He Loves me, then He told me :”forgive as I forgive”…pray for your ennemis , wish them happyness as you woul’d for your best friend..pray God for their salvation..have My Compassion..He showed me also that He could not save my ennemis unless I was okay, me too, to see them saved…He said to me “I’ll save them only if you agree to save them too, I won’t do anything without your “Amen” for it..if you don’t want , I won’t do it..but, I’m afraid you’ll be both feel eternally bad because you’re His flesh, and if you keep hating him you’ll feel very bad both of you..and this Hate and anger will destroy you…so, in a way, God respected my suffering, wouldn’t act without my being okay with that process of forgiveness..it took me a certain time to say okay to God, and, when I said okay, He said to me, really happy” Let’s save Him, and you by the way and all your family”..I felt releived, happy and being able to say the word “father ” again..I keep on praying this payer of Jesus on the Cross:”please forgive them…” actually, it happened the same to Jesus as to me ..After Jesus has suffered, He could have said:”don’t save them, they’re hopeless”..and His Father would have given Him what He wanted because what Jesus wants His Father wants…Jesus chose Love and His Father gave Him what Jesus ” demanded”..God gave me what He actually wanted me to demand, but without “forcing” me…As Jesus ,He wanted me to participate ,to have a “part” , “my part” in this salvation of my family..He didn’t force Mary to accept, He needed her ” Yes” because He respects us car toi much and doesn’t want anything for us that we would’nt want for us..In a way, He is powerless to save us, me, if we ,me don’t want..that’s why I pray God to give many “Praying people” ,those real” worshipers in Spirit and thruth ” who pray from the bottom of their hearts and not those ” sundays worshippers ” who want God to forgive them but who don’t want to forgive”..God bless you and your family.🙏
Dear Wayne and Sarah:
We’re so happy for the two of you and just delight in all Father is doing in you, for you and now for others around you.
Sarah, what an amazing journey you are on. Thank you for sharing it with us. Father is truly smiling on you and loving hard on you! We can feel it all the way to where we are. We love you both.
Roger and Gerri,
Places in the Father’s Heart, Inc.
When I found out about Jesus, I was twenty-four years old and had just lost my beloved brother to suicide. I was also very seriously mentally ill myself. In those days, the church at large frowned upon seeking therapy or taking medication, so I suffered and wondered why God didn’t heal me. Eventually I overcame the grief (after also suffering losing my father to suicide three years later) and the anxiety attacks, but there was so much trauma history I never dealt with. There seemed to be pressure to get it over with quickly so I could give God the glory for complete healing when I was far from being “over” it. I even got my education and became a therapist myself (in my fifties) but now, retired and going through so much through politics, a two and a half year pandemic (so far) and losing my desire for American evangelical Christianity through church attendance, I find myself revisiting some of the trauma memories along with the physical and emotional manifestations of that, and I am back in therapy myself…seeing a beautiful woman who also went to seminary. I see God’s hand still moving me forward with no due date to worry about. Thanks Wayne. So happy for you both.
Hi Linda. I’m sorry for the pain in your journey. Unfortunately religious performance and obligation are the worst counsel for someone dealing with trauma. It has hurt many people because those dispensing the “ministry” have no understanding of what trauma is and how it affects someone’s brain. Trauma doesn’t move quickly. It’s a process and I pray you find the resources that can help you sort this out. With love and prayers….
Good stuff bro. The loss of the innocence which I struggle with is one of knowledge, or perceived knowledge. I want to be “small” minded, like a child, trusting, unassuming, ignorant of dangers, but the “noise pollution” out there these days has stimulated the protector and fighter in me and has made me hard as steel some days. I am guarded. I definitely am hoping to get to the bottom of this lol, and enjoy peace like I have probably never known. All the best to you kids!
I pray God answers that prayer for you, Kevin, in ways you can’t imagine today. There are moments when the protector is critical to our well-being but when he hangs around too long and we live under constant threat from whatever boogie man disturbs us, he can suck the life out of us and distract us from seeing Jesus and his work in us.