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The Power of a Conversation

1 Comment / Lifestream News /

Newsletter – February 2020

I used to love lecturing, putting together a finely-crafted talk with illustrations and Biblical insights that seemed to touch people deeply. I enjoyed the cadence of a good speech, the flows of laughter and depth of emotions the perfect illustration could elicit. How much I loved being the guy on the stage!

But somewhere, I lost my confidence in the power of a lecture. Don’t get me wrong, some useful information can be shared that way, but as a steady diet, it alone lacks the power to help people make the personal discoveries that will help them grow their relationship with God. Thus, I’m less engaged by a talking head than I used to be. I see through so much of it now, the formula that may get the speaker the response they seek, but how little impact it had on the listeners in the long-run. I even grew tired of the adoring comments people would make after, still realizing it was more about me than it was unlocking their journey.

Do you know what changed me? The power of a conversation. I’ve been in too many rooms with so many people and watched their eyes brighten with transformative discoveries. I’ve visited them later to see the fruits of transformation that rose from those discoveries and how that launched them into a greater depth of relationship with Jesus. Now I understand why so much in the Gospels didn’t orbit around sermons, but conversations Jesus had with his disciples, Nicodemus, religious leaders, a woman at a well, or lunch with Zaccheus. Where people are allowed to notice what they need to notice, question what they need to question and struggle with what they need to struggle with, that’s where real teaching happens where hearts change.

I am freshly discovering some things from the book of John that has clarified important realities in my own journey. I’m excited about sharing some of that as I travel, but every time I put that into a “sermon,” it just doesn’t fit well. When they emerge in a conversation, however, as people process their own journey, they are transformative.

As much as I love conversations, I’m often concerned that new people coming to a meeting would prefer that I “do a teaching.” At least that’s what I think they want. While visiting a group recently, we had a number of people join us who had never been in a meeting with me before. I always wonder after a few hours of conversation if they’re disappointed I didn’t “teach” more. I was grateful to get the following email after one such visit:

Thanks again for inviting me this past Sunday. I was impressed by the warm hospitality and relaxed atmosphere. I was able to share things I haven’t talked about in years… and appreciated those who shared themselves as well with the group. I came away thinking of Matthew 25 where it says, I was a stranger and you welcomed me. That is the church in a nutshell. I didn’t know what to expect going in. I came away with more than I ever imagined.

I am still processing the experience, but I at least wanted to contact you to let you know how much your invitation meant to me. As I mentioned to you Sunday, you definitely have a unique gift in the body of Christ. I am looking forward to where the journey takes me from here.

I love how he responded to that day and what he saw in it. To me, a good conversation is not just people in the same room. A good conversation has some critical components:

  • casual and relaxed enough for laughter and getting to know each other,
  • a safe place for people to be honest and not judged or given advice,
  • for God’s reality to expand our hearts,
  • and offering encouragement to people who are processing their spiritual journeys.

A few days after I got that email, I was reading John 1. John the Baptist was talking to two of his followers pointing to Jesus’ baptism. “Behold the Lamb of God!” They followed him until he turned and asked them what they were looking for. They responded by asking where he was staying. “Come along and see for yourself.”

They went with him and stayed for the day. One of those was Andrew, Peter’s brother, who immediately went to tell Peter, “We’ve found the Messiah.” That’s the power of a conversation. Others who heard Jesus teach, or watched him do miracles, still had no idea who he was.

I’m not anti-seminar or anti-sermon; I do both when I need to. But I would dare say that the work of the kingdom emerges far more easily in the simplicity and reality of a conversation than all our ceremonies or rituals can produce. And that goes on not just in meetings I’m in, but in conversations that happen before and after, over meals, or in the homes where I stay.
I got a fresh chance to reflect on that after spending three days with someone in Florida last fall. As he was driving me to my next connection he asked, “Do you know what you are? You’re a repository for thousands and thousands of conversations about the life of Jesus with people all over the world.”

I do know that. I have talked to so many people across a broad spectrum of spiritual experience–from those who’ve followed him for fifty or sixty years to those who haven’t yet decided if they want to. All of them have enriched me, and have helped me see a Father far grander than I would ever have known alone. One of the reasons I travel, podcast, and write is to share what I’ve learned with others.

It’s funny, really. I went into “ministry” thinking the thing I loved most was preparing for and teaching large groups of people. What I’ve discovered since is that those things don’t hold a candle to sitting and talking with people, helping them process their journeys and experience the life this incredible Father wants to pour into them. Those conversations are the best, and I want to help others discover how they can be a catalyst for those conversations where they are.

How can you facilitate those kinds of conversations yourself? Be careful not to put people on the spot. Avoid anything that feels forced or artificial. Don’t suddenly ask people you don’t know well, “What are you hearing from God these days,” or “How is the Jesus journey going?” What you can do is take an interest in people—what they’re thinking about or what they’re going through. Jesus has a way of popping up in such moments quite naturally if the time is right. Be vulnerable first, sharing something you’re learning or what challenges you. Your honesty and sincerity can open a door for others to share if they want to. If not, look to be an encouragement to them in some way.

Finding your way into safe, honest, and vulnerable conversations about how Jesus is making himself known takes a lot of time and a whole lot of relationship. Relax. Have fun with it. Build friendships first instead of targeting people or making them your project. Love will allow conversations to flow naturally.

There’s nothing better than the power of a conversation, whether it’s with one person, two or three, or a few dozen. I’ve even had conversations with 800 people at once, though that does take an extra measure of grace. That way, people are learning in their time, not trying to incorporate something I’m learning into their journey.

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If you’d like to join me somewhere for a conversation, here are the travel dates I’ve already scheduled for 2020. There will be more as the year unfolds, but if you’re nearby come and join us.  You can check my Travel Page for details on any of these, and if you want to be notified by email whenever I’m coming to your area you can sign up on our email list and include your address. That way you’ll receive a notice whenever I’m visiting within 200 miles of you.

  • Richmond, VA. – Feb 5-10
  • Enid, OK  – February 20-22
  • Norman, OK – February 23
  • Edmond, OK – February 24-26 – A workshop on A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation
  • Tulsa, OK – February 27-March 1
  • Grand Rapids and Flint MI – late March
  • Wichita, KS early April
  • Europe May 28 – June 2 – I’ll be in Europe during this time and seeing what God might have for me while I’m there. If you have something you’d like me to consider, please let me know.
  • Europe Gathering in Sweden – June 3-10. (*See below)
  • Kenya – late June early July 

*A Gathering in Europe

From the 3rd to the 10th of June my friends in Ireland are planning a get-together in Sweden at the Trunna Hostel and Conference Centre’ in Örsa, Sweden. Their desire is to bring together “friends and friends of friends” to relax and enjoy days of fellowship and encouragement.  Örsa is situated to the north of the city of Mora close to Lake Siljan,  it is a beautiful part of Sweden and very popular as a holiday destination. The surrounding county of Dalarna has much to offer and is a haven for hikers and sightseers and anyone who loves the great outdoors.   It is also regarded as the cultural and historical heart of Sweden. You can find pictures of the Trunna centre at: www.trunna.se. If you’re interested, please let me know.

Language of Healing Presentations

I love the conversations that A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation has spawned with so many people and how people are applying the suggested activities at the end of each chapter to make more space for the “symphony of different.” This book is really about living more generously in the world as a reflection of the Father’s glory, especially to those who do not yet know who he is.   Living more generously combines both the passion of my heart to live in and share God’s affection freely in the world, and how that invites to live beyond the conflicts and agendas the world wants to throw on us. If you know groups that would like to host a seminar on this topic with either myself or my coauthors, Arnita Taylor and Bob Prater, or with all three of us, just let me know and we’ll see what we can work out.

Would you Like to Go to Israel?

So many people have asked if I’d take another trip to Israel, so I’m thinking about scheduling one for the first part of February 2021, if there is enough interest. If you would like to go, please email my office and let us know. Our time in Israel is about nine days and costs about $4200 per person including airfare and double occupancy. Last time we added Petra and Jordan as an extra two-day add on that costs about $1000 more per person. When you us know that you’d like to go on the trip, please let me know if you’d also be interested in this added adventure.

Our Friends in Pokot

Thanks to so many of you who helped with a flooding emergency in West Pokot this winter. Their crops were devastated and their storehouses destroyed. All of that has since been rebuilt and we’ve purchased food to get them through to the next harvest thanks to your generosity. We were also able to help them expand their water enterprise at Forkland School to help with future needs. You have all been amazing, and I am grateful to the tips of my toes. And, so are they! Thank you so much.  If you would like to help us here create a sustainable life for these villagers, you can give here.

 

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Do You Have Community?

18 Comments / Phenomenon of the Dones /

By Wayne Jacobsen in a continuing series on The Phenomenon of the Dones.  

The question is as ubiquitous as it is silly: “What Church do you go to?”

It’s almost always the first thing Christians ask each other when they meet and it is the most divisive question in all Christendom. We think identifying the particular tribe of Christian someone belongs to will tell us a lot about them. Are they Calvinist, Catholic, charismatic, Bible thumpers, high church or fundamentalist?

The truth is it tells us very little about people. It is an overly simplistic way to profile people with our stereotypical view of any group while it tells us nothing about them as individuals. It doesn’t tell us how deeply they are connected to Jesus, or whether they are thriving on their spiritual journey or withering away in despair. While the question causes some to swell with pride in their movement, others are apprehensive for the judgment their answer might incur.

For the 31 million Christians in America who are following Jesus though they no longer attend a formal congregation, answering that question is a dilemma. If you say you don’t, many will question the sincerity of your faith convinced that all true Christians belong to a local congregation. They make no room for a vibrant faith and an engaging experience of church life without the institutional map.

Recently someone I was just getting to know as they were feeling me out for some potential collaboration asked me that question. When my answer wasn’t satisfactory he asked a second question, “Do you have a community where you live? I knew he was giving me a chance to redeem myself by assuring him I belonged to some kind of Christian group, even if I wasn’t calling it “a church”.

I wasn’t trying to be difficult. We had just met and he was desperate to find some kind of box for me to fit into that would allow him affirm the validity of my faith. He could only do that if I belonged to a group with a name, a regular (hopefully weekly) meeting, and a specified doctrine.

I didn’t want to mislead him, but I tend to use words like this with intentional precision. I don’t have a community; I have three communities that I explore life in Jesus with locally and even more globally. None of them is an organized group with names and leadership structures. Some think that means they doesn’t count, but they would be wrong. I see community very differently than he did and I knew we weren’t going to get through this on his terminology alone.

“Why don’t you ask me if I have community where I live?” I offered.

That stopped him. He looked quizzically for a second and then asked what I meant. Now we were having the conversation I hoped to have. Yes, I have community, more of it than I had ever experienced in an organized group. None of these have coalesced into a named group or regular routine, but the relationships intersect frequently and among those I am deeply known, have people to love and serve, and am regularly challenged to an ever-deepening engagement with Jesus.

He got the point. People can belong to “a community” without having community. The biggest complaint I hear from people who attend a congregation is that few relationships seem to get beneath the surface of people’s lives. Our culture uses the term ‘community’ for any social group that shares a common interest or structure. When I think of community, however, I don’t think of regular meetings, standardized conduct, or a superintending leadership structure. I think of deep friendships where people are known without pretense and where they share mutual love, encouragement, and service as a normal part of their everyday lives.

It is the innate hunger for these kinds of friendships that is causing people to look beyond our large, tired institutions. Instead of incubating close, personal caring relationships, many foster a conformity-based culture where meeting a set of religious expectations subverts the genuineness out of which community grows. The political realities of running an institution and people going along with those subvert the hope of real community. When you’re pretending to be what you’re not to be loved and accepted, real relationship cannot happen. People don’t know you, they only know who you pretend to be.

Community can’t be manufactured by human programming; it is the fruit of people living authentically and lovingly with an expanding pool of growing friendships that defy age, interests, ethnicity, and societal status. Community is the fruit of people connecting with others beneath the masks we often wear to negotiate society. It’s real concern, real affection, and real honesty inside a growing relationship with Jesus.

You can’t have community with everyone sitting in a large auditorium, nor by working together on the “church program”. It may happen in those settings, but not because of those things; it’s because people connect in growing friendships beyond them—before and after the meetings, in conversations, meals and activities where people can relax and be themselves.

That’s why I prefer the question, “Do you have community?” Are there people around you who know the real you—your hopes and dreams, doubts and fears? Are they willing to struggle with you as you learn to follow Jesus and be open with their own lives as well? Can you freely ask questions, and struggle with the questions of life and faith? Are they people you are delighted to see when they come around?

These are all reflections of real community and few people have such friendships. Most of our human interactions, especially in our shame and desire to control others, undermine that reality. Religious environments often trigger those responses rather than letting people relax into a relationship that’s real they try to force one through pretense.

So how do you find community? This is as true for people who go to an organized gathering as those who do not. Real community has to be found at its source—inside the Trinity itself. Father, Son and Spirit share the most breathtaking dance of community in the universe. Their love for each other is rich and full and because of that they are able to share life, glory, trust, and truth in such an awesome way it is difficult for us to conceive of it in the brokenness of the creation. But we are invited to participate in it. Jesus said that his disciples would come to know that “On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.” (John 14:20)

Jesus invited us into the relationship the Trinity shares together. As we grow in our awareness of them and learn to love and trust them the same way they trust each other we will begin to experience the wonder of their community. That happens as we learn to rest in their love and watch as they make themselves known in to us. Jesus showed us how that happened as he walked along the road with his disciples or relaxed in Mary and Martha’s home in Bethany.

And as we get increasingly comfortable inside the Divine community we will find ourselves quite naturally sharing it with others. The shame that sabotages our relationships and drives us to pretense and performance will begin to fade away and we’ll find that we are more compassionate for people and freer to care about them. That’s where you find community, not by looking to be loved, but by beginning to love others.

The love we desire from others is the love we first give away even without any expectation of return. God wants his love to envelop people even if they never respond to it. But when they do and are able to reach back in loving ways toward you a friendship is born and it is out of friendship that community begins. And, no, this doesn’t happen quickly. It takes time to get to know people, hear their story and sense that connection that can become a friendship and then the proximity to let that relationship grow. We are too quick to form groups and try to trust each other when many are still so broken that they have no idea how to love. The results can be devastating as people feel used or as competition or gossip take hold.

Some are so broken that they will pretend to love you, as long as they benefit from you. When they no longer do, they will cut you off or even worse betray you to gain a foothold with others. It happened to Jesus too, so we dare not think ourselves immune from it. But don’t let that keep you from exploring the relationships love can build. Just keep on loving the way you are loved by him. In time you’ll find yourself alongside others who also know how to love beyond their own self-interest. Don’t let hurt draw you back into yourself. Evil has a way of fragmenting relationships but his love allows us to overcome the immaturity of others and keep loving them if possible, or move on from them if not.

Our engagement with others need no go any deeper than how safe we are exploring life with them. We are won into friendships; they cannot be imposed on us. And even healthy community will have its ups and downs. We live in a fallen world and our expressions of community will be flawed as well. Don’t expect others to always get it right and don’t put that demand on yourself. There’s a lot of forgiveness and forbearance in any friendship that thrives over time. In real community loving each other is more important than being right or trying to fix others to meet our expectations.

Community is about friendships and it enhances all of life, where we live, work and play. Not all our friends have to be followers of Christ yet. By caring about others and letting them care about you, you provide the fertile ground where sharing the kingdom takes place. If you are graceful with them many will come to know the God you know and then the friendships only deepen.

Community rises out of the friendships God gives you and as you are generous with those friendships a living network of friends and friends of friends will emerge around you. Some may be local, others from further away. The best gift I can give my friends, is to introduce them to others of my friends. That growing network of interconnected friends will overlap with other expressions as a tapestry of God’s church makes herself known in the world.

Having community is a way to live. We have to make time for friendships, space for new people, and learn to love people simply as they are, not how we would like them to be. We are not alone here. It is Jesus job to build the church and the Spirit’s task to show us our place in it. This relational way of engaging his church is a challenge to be sure, but the fruits of doing so are to experience an ever-growing network of friendships that bring wisdom, healing, comfort, and joy to your life in Jesus.

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This is part 13 in a series on The Phenomenon of the Dones by Wayne Jacobsen who is the author of Finding Church and host of a podcast at TheGodJourney.com.  You can read the first half here and subsequent parts below:

If you’d like to subscribe to this blog and receive future posts by email you can sign up at the top of the right-hand column of our home page.

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International Translations

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international

A guide to translations of Lifestream books, articles, and audio

Chinese

Dutch

French

German

Translations from Glory World Medien:

  • Finding Church in German from Glory World Medien as Die Gemeinschaft der Neuen Schöpfung (The Community of the New Creation)
  • Authentic Relationships – Authentische Beziehungen
  • So You Don’t Want to Go To Church Anymore, retitled as Der Schrei der Wildgänse (The Call of the Wild Geese) Order from Glory World Publishers
  • He Loves Me – Geliebt!
  • In Season –  Zu Seiner Zeit

Other articles in German:

Portuguese

Russian

South Korean

Spanish

Swahili

Tamil

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Living Loved Articles

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The following articles are from our flagship publication, Living Loved. They have been organized by content, so you can read those that most apply to where you are in the journey. You can also view these articles in Chronological Order if you prefer. Some articles have been listed in more than one space. We hope these articles comfort, encourage and challenge you to the fullness of what it means to live in the joy of being God’s kid in the world!

Categories

Frequently Viewed Articles

Living the Journey

When you’re unsure about the path God has put before you, or you’re not living up to the expectations and demands of others around you…

  •  The Narrow Road – Learning to live in the love of the Father is not the result of one grand commitment, but the fruit of a long series of choices that leans away from the world’s way and listens to the gentle nudges of the Spirit as to how to live differently. (December 2012)
  •  The Power of Living In Love – Has Jesus called us to live by strategic planning, or by the unfolding consequences of simply loving others in the same way we are loved by him? (June 2008)
  •  Bait and Switch – How Christianity traded the invitation into an intimate relationship to God into the rituals and rules of religion, and how we can find our way back. (May 2009)
  •  Windblown: What Life in Him Looks Like – Living in the fullness of Christ is not a matter of embracing theology ritual, or ethics but to engage him by the Spirit and follow him wherever he leads. (February 2007)
  •  Breaking Free – A real-life demonstration of what it means to break free of religious obligation and break into the relationship God has always desired for us. (November 2004)
  •  The Call of the Shepherd – Finding safety and purpose in the presence of Jesus and the courage to follow his voice wherever he leads us. (May 2004)
  •  What Is God Asking Of You? – Learning to recognize Jesus’ voice in our lives and having the focus and courage to follow him in the simplest things he asks of us will turn our spiritual stagnation into life and fulfillment. This article also includes ‘That Lot’ in Fairlie, an amazing story of a group of believers in New Zealand. (September 2004)
  •  Living in Two Worlds – Eternal life is not just our distant hope. It is also our present possession and keeping focused on it will help us live in the world without being captured by it. (February 2004)
  •  The Nut Test – Learning the difference between relationship and religion and what relational Christianity looks like. (September 1997)
  •  The Joy of Letting Go – If we grab for security on our own terms, we’ll always find ourselves falling short of the passion in our hearts for God. Here’s how to let go and see God’s hand transform your life. (April 2002)
  •  Signposts On the Journey – What markers can help us determine if the voice you’re hearing is really Father’s? (May 1999)
  •  What’s In it For Me? – How the pursuit of our own self-interest leads us far afield of God’s best work in our lives. (May 1997)
  •  Painting Outside the Lines – What God is doing today in the lives of his people, may not always fit between the lines of our religious institutions. (November 1998)
  •  Why Settle for Anything Less? – How God’s love can be our only motivation, and why we always find cheap substitutes for that incredible gift. (April 1996)
  •  It’s So Worth It! – Many who start out on the journey of relational life with God, get lost or discouraged in the process. Don’t let that happen to you. (September 2002)
  •  Sexual Struggles on the Relational Journey – Dealing with sexual temptations and failures in the context of our spiritual growth, and finding fulfillment in the gift of sexuality as God gave it to us. (April 2005)

Intimacy With God

When you feel your spiritual growth has stagnated or your just hungry to know him better and follow him more closely…

Knowing Him Better

When you wonder why he seems so far away, or whether you’ll ever be good enough to have the relationship with him you’ve always wanted…

  •  Snapshots of Father’s Love – Two recent experiences brought some fresh images of God’s Fatherhood into my own life. Hopefully they will touch you in a similar way. (July 2000)
  •  The Father’s Delight – Learning to live in the love of the Father. (November 1996)
  •  The Hen and Her Chicks – The magnificent work of God at the cross that forever secured our redemption in him and our relationship with him. (November 1999)
  •  Rekindling Passion – God has called us to live every day in an all-consuming passionate love for him. Here’s how we lose it from time to time and how we can recapture it. (January 1999)
  •  Every Day, Every Moment – A call to a daily relationship with the Risen Christ that can transform our lives with his glory. (May 1998)
  •  The Businessman and the Beggar – Why our pursuit of trying to earn God’s favor must end before we’ll ever be able to experience the reality of his life in us. (March 1998)

Growing in Trust

When it is so hard to trust what God is doing in your life, or even whether he cares enough about you to attend to the details of your life…

  •  Welcome Home! – The invitation God makes for us to be related to him and why our trust in him is so critical to that process. (July 1997)
  •  Why Are You So Afraid? – Learning to fix our eyes on Jesus, not the circumstances that assail us, and our own inabilities to do much about them. (November 1997)
  •  Getting on Father’s Page – Instead of inviting God to bless our work and show up where we are, maybe it would be better for us to live everyday where he is. (September 1998)
  •  What’s In it For Me? – How the pursuit of our own self-interest leads us far afield of God’s best work in our lives. (May 1997)
  •  By Every Word – Intimacy with God can only be lived out as we learn to listen and follow his voice through the ups and downs of everyday living. (July 1998)

The Importance of Living Free

When you doubt the freedom that Christ has brought to you or find yourself using it for your own agenda instead of letting it transform you…

  •  How Do I… ? – Whenever we are frustrated that God is not opening doors for us it might be a sign that we’re focused on the wrong doors. The kingdom grows in our heart through the organic reality of living loved and following him, not by finding the right strategy. (March 2010)
  •  Reveling in the Freedom to Follow – Jesus invited people to come and follow him. So why does religion do more to discourage people from that than freeing them to follow him and discover the life in him that he wants for each of us. (July 2006)
  •  Feasting on the Tree of Life – Until we truly die to the right to decide what is good and not good for our own lives, we’ll never find ourselves basking in the absolute joy of life as Father always meant us to know it. (August 2005)
  •  To Be Free of God??!!?!? – Enjoying the freedom of becoming absolutely dependent upon God, and why we resist it so. (September 1996)
  •  Freedom is Only the Beginning – Two recent experiences brought some fresh images of God’s Fatherhood into my own life. Hopefully they will touch you in a similar way. (May 2000)
  •  The Deepest Freedom – Finding freedom from legalism, religious obligation and the expectations of others is only the beginning. The tyranny of Self is what most keeps us from the joy of walking in Father’s life. (January 2001)
  •  Thriving Outside the Box – If freedom only gets you out of religious obligation and not into Father’s life at a whole new level, it will be your ruin, not your release. (October 2003)

Religion Versus Relationship

When you wonder why the way we do church life today isn’t fulfilling the deepest hungers of your heart…

  •  Tree Town – A Parable For Our Times – A young man finds a book and makes all the wrong conclusions, until he discovers the key that unlocks the mystery. (November 2005)
  •  The Third Road – Why walking in religion can’t take us to the heights of God’s joy and how the road to relationship not only leads us to righteousness, but to healthy body life as well. (June 2002)
  •  The Nut Test – Learning the difference between relationship and religion and what relational Christianity looks like. (September 1997)
  •  Painting Outside the Lines – What God is doing today in the lives of his people, may not always fit between the lines of our religious institutions. (November 1998)
  •  The Same Old Story – What God is doing to set people free from the tethers religion imposes on us and to soar to the heights of what it means to participate with him in his work in our world. (January 2000)
  •  Daisy Petal Christianity – God doesn’t ever want you to doubt again the immense depth of his love for you; nor for you to miss how to respond to it in a life-changing way. (March 1999)

New Testament Church Life

When you’re hungry to find authentic BodyLife that allows believers to grow in love and freedom without being manipulated or abused…

Relationships with Other Believers

When you’re concerned about how to relate to other believers the way Jesus wants you to…

  •  The Real Question – How might we respond to the conflict between those who attend traditional congregations and those who look for more relational expressions of church life, that builds up the family, rather than further fragmenting it. (March 2006)
  •  In Exactly the Same Way – The secret to loving like God loves, is to know how much you are loved by him. (March 2000)
  •  What About Him? – Competition and how it affects our relationships with other believers. (January 1997)
  •  Going to the Root – A summarization of a book that just might change forever how you view the church of Jesus Christ. (June 1996)
  •  Sharing the Journey – An excerpt from Wayne’s newest book, co-written with his brother Clay, this chapter shows how pooling our wisdom can add great joy and wisdom to the journey. (July 2003)
  •  The Language of Community – Highlighted excerpts from So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore, focus on the kind of things we can say to others to encourage them on the journey of living deeply in Christ. (September 2006)

Relational Church Series

When you hungry to find alternative ways to look at the body Jesus is building and find a way to participate in it that will spur you on to the heights of living in Jesus. Many of these articles are also available in Tamil.

Current Events and Trends

  • Going to the Root – A summarization of a book that just might change forever how you view the church of Jesus Christ. (June 1996)
  • Lessons from the Rubble – Thoughts on the terrorist attacks, their implications in our culture and how they can spur us on to every greater depths of relationship with Jesus. (November 2001)
  • The Most Exciting Days in History – A look at God’s working in our day and how we can appreciate it, written by Kevin Smith a friend from Australia. (January 1998)
  • Once In A Lifetime… – A trip to the Holy Land and lessons on trusting God with our lives. (March 1997)

Living Loved Articles Read More »

Resistance Is Not Futile

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I am finishing up my time in Europe and am ready to leave for home tomorrow. It has been a spectacular time, first with the family God has given me celebrating our anniversary. We saw so much together, laughed so hard, and enjoyed each other. Sara and I agreed that these days were some of the most enjoyable of our lives.  Then I went to France to gather with some “friends and friends of friends” to share God’s life. We had people from France, Ireland, South Africa, the U.S., England, and I’m not sure where else. What great days, so encouraging and stimulating. 

For the past five days I’ve been in the south of France near Nimes, through five days of conversations about our life in Jesus and how he invites us into the new creation of a live well loved instead of negotiating the demands and obligations of religion. They have been so warm and responsive and it has been such a joy to watch God warm hearts and stimulate journeys that have been wearied by the false teachings of religious performance. I am reminded again how much God’s work has continued to shape in my own life and how differently I think and live now than I did twenty years ago.  I would not trade this way of knowing him for anything. 

Throughout the whole trip I have visited many religious buildings where at great expense and time people have tried to create buildings worthy of God, when the only temple he desires to live in is us, and the only one he wants to build is his church as he invites us to love others as we’ve been loved. While the buildings are magnificent in beauty and engineering, they have not helped those who frequent them know God as intimately as he desired.  He cannot be found in buildings, no matter how ornate.  If he is more real to you in a Cathedral than he is in your own home, you have missed the most powerful lesson of the Incarnation—God is with us in our world, every day, every moment.

I’ve also visited many places where protestant Christians were imprisoned and tortured by the all-too-easily threatened Roman Church. It’s horrible what they did in the name of God to those who sought to follow Christ without following Rome. Obviously they did not know God or his love.  Yesterday I was at in Aiques-Morte a walled city built in the 13th centuryby Louis IX at a French seaport on the Mediterranean.  The Tower of Constance (pictured above) was a garrison when it was built was converted to a prison for Protestants in the 18th century.  Perhaps the most well-known is Marie Durand, who engraved the word “resister” (below), which in English means resist, into the edge of the well and it can still be seen.  Along with as many as 200 other prisoners she had been imprisoned from the age of 15 until she was freed at 53. Despite the power of the Roman church in her day, she knew the glory of resisting what is false to embrace what is real and that to submit her conscience under the threat of torture would deny her the freedom Jesus purchased for her.

She knew resistance is not futile. It is necessary and because so many like her refused to submit to Roman torture, God’s glory grew in the world. In a day when people find it difficult if friends and family judge them for following their freedom in Christ and not conform to religious demands of our day, it was a great encouragement. Yes it is not easy being judged by those you love, but it is still a far cry from being imprisoned for resisting religious leaders who have not a clue who God is.

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We Are Taking a Break!

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Summer is here, our grandkids are out of school, and in celebration of our fortieth wedding anniversary that happened last month, Sara and I are off to Europe with our children and grandchildren for the next couple of weeks. We are looking forward to some of the things we’ll get to see there, but more importantly we are looking forward to celebrating the family that God has given us. We’ve never done anything like this and are looking forward to spending so much time together. This is one fun family to hang out with! 

However, since this is a two-horse operation, the offices at Lifestream will be closed until June 29 when Sara returns.  We’ve got people to still fulfill book orders for those who want them, but other than that, things will be quiet here. I’m going to spend as little time as possible with email and websites during my time in Europe. There will be no new podcasts unless something amazing happens. I may post a few pictures on my Facebook Author Page if I find the time and Internet connection.

I will be staying on in Europe to connect with some brothers and sisters in Barcelona, attend a gathering of Friends and Friends of Friends in the south of France, and finish off sharing with a group of believers near Nimes, France.  If you want more information on those you can get it on my Travel Page.  

If you have anything important for me, please wait until early in July to write.  You’ll get a more reasoned response and my inbox will not get so full.  We are blessed to be able to take this time and celebrate God’s goodness and take a break from all the writing and interacting to just enjoy the Father’s work in us. This is a very special time for us and we’re excited.  

One more note: The Shack Movie went into production this week. You can read more about that here. Just be warned this is one of those websites I detest with annoying and intrusive ads and a really lame preview trailer.

 

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A Place to Begin

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We had a great time that Saturday as thirty-five people from all over the So. Cal area got together to meet each other and talk about their journeys learning to live loved, love others, and disentangle themselves from the kind of religious thinking that destroys our security in Father’s affection and limits our ability to love others in that freedom. We had people just starting out on this stage of the journey and those who have been on it for a bit. We met some great people, heard some incredible stories of courage and passion to find freedom in him and got a brighter vista of what God is doing in others that resonates so deeply with us.

It’s much like the gatherings I enjoy being a part of when I travel, except this time we hosted the day. And yes, the garden was a hit, as was Sara’s chocolate chip cookies! I wish you’d all be able to join us, but know that would be impossible for us and for many of you.  But it is in such gatherings that the seeds of community are sown. They begin with relationships and where people are free to talk about their journeys honestly and openly without being judged or criticized.  I love the look of wonder that often comes over people’s faces as they listen to others share the passions that are on their heart and they thought they were all alone in that desire.  I wish we could have had more than a day, but one of the people came back the next day to watch some football with my family and extend the conversation.  That’s how this church grows in the world, friends and friends of friends finding each other, exploring the new found relationship and seeing if it grows into a friendship that expresses God’s life.  

And it all begins simply by taking the risk to meet some others on the journey and opening a bit of your heart to them to see if they will treat it well.  Such fun!  

Two quick items.  I did a phone interview this morning with Chicago3Media if you want to listen to it.  And we have some new artwork to highlight postings others might make on Facebook from their reading of Finding Church:

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An Incredible Report From West Pokot

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Last month we found out about 634 families who were starving to death in the northwest regions of Kenya, which is far beyond any government services or NGO outreach.  Through your generosity in prayer within two weeks we received almost $50,000 to share with them in this outreach to bring water, food, and a medical team into that region.  Below is the report I received from them and pictures (below) to accompany it.  It is a whale of a read!  It touched me very deeply, not only by what God did there, but by what God did here to bring the resources together to help them.  The challenges are great there, but the money we sent allowed some incredible volunteers to go up into that region and serve these people from a very primitive culture, not just to relieve their suffering, but help carve out a better future for them. Enjoy this!  It’s incredibly powerful and a wonderful insight into a very small corner of the world.  

I.G.E.M, Living Loved mission camping in Northern parts of Kenya
Mathew 25:31-40
April 14-23, 2014

We started our journey with, the convoy of vehicles, which was supported by the Kenyans volunteers. After hearing that the brothers and sisters from oversees have stretched dearly their hands towards the Kenyan families who were in need. These alerted them make them attention for what is taking place in Northern parts. We didn’t expect to be accompanied with huge number of volunteers but we didn’t expect to serve more than 12000 people.

We budgeted for 614 families and other more 231 were added walking from far different places, some of them reach in the night and some came when sick. These added to our budget and because of this we extended more days due to huge number of people.

Our doctors and nurses work tirelessly for seven days without resting; this are amazing grace. Other volunteers team were transporting maize to the villages using the bicycles. Our hiring truck for transporting food went ahead of us two days before we reach, leaded by brother Emmanuel Loriono and Brother Michael Wamukota, escorted by local security and we met when the local arrangement has been done, so it eased our work to serve them.
We depart on 14th at 03:00 a.m and we arrived on 15th in the morning, immediately we started the work for the first village and we took three days. Second we started at night and we took more three days and we went to another village again and took two days where we met other added families, in these last villages we served more and unexpected numbers of people,.

In the first trip, the road was bad and we decided to walk 15 km down the steep slope, after we reached their the local government received us in a high note.  They said that it is God who visited them because no one who has done these things for them especially in this remote and interior place.  No NGOs who has penetrated in these areas.  We got the people camped already because they saw food before we arrived, they jumped singing and rejoicing , interpretation of their language, they sing that we have you God through your people for visiting our village.  The old people were remaining in the village due to no strength and affected by hunger, we decided to send our volunteers team taking the food to the villages as you may seen in the pictures, the treatment were taking place, even during the night people are still coming. And even old people our nurses visited them in their village for treatment.

About the water we were told and we saw there is one NGO sponsored by drill water for more than 40 km from the place we were, the women can walk for that km to fetch water. We were also told, since the sun is hot in the region the women walked as a team as from 07:00p.m and return to the village 09:00 a.m in the morning, it means that two and fro they walk 80km. and they utilize the water for three days for 20L, remember one family is not having less than 15 people, it means that they cannot wash their hands using water, they cannot wash any utensil but for utensil they use animals urine, these is risks areas I never experienced in my life.

Because of these, many families died because of disease and more children affected by marasmus for the lack of food and nutrients. And when members of their family died they throw in the bushes, for three days or four wild animals e.g. hyena and wild dog eats the body. And for these reason, there is outbreak of various diseases. In those areas also there are no toilets, people just go anywhere and they don’t fear anybody or feel shame.

There is no hospital around, they rely on indigenous plants and roots, we tried to inquire if it cures but they told us, that sometimes it is risk because they can vomit and diarrhea for four days and those who succeed in that process get healed and those not they died, so we asked them how they feel about the treatment and the hospital, and they comment that they feel good. One young man who can spoke little Swahili told us that, they were counted among the animals because no one cares.

About food, we asked them how they survived in all these years.  This young man makes us to laugh and he said “he read somewhere in the book of Daniel, that meshack, shadrack and Abednego survived by eating little water and millet and he added and said that Jesus man cannot lived just for the bread but just through the word of God, which means they live by the ability of the grace of God. They said again, sometimes they can boil some roots mingling with the honey and they just count a day.

About the cattle, they said that their life is the cattle, they eat blood, milk and survived on meat , and during three years back there is persistent drought many cattle died and goats, so they are blaming the drought has contributed to their trouble but we ask them, “how do you understand about God” and they said that, “they have tired about their god who doesn’t hear them and bring the rain and they said again that every year they must bring goats and cattle for sacrificial but three backs their god has not answer them, so now their congratulating the God who is called Jesus Christ because they have seen food, water and medicine from other people who came from other region came and embrace them.

One old man told the team, that he will never believe that God till he sees the flowing water, from the drying ground pointed with his staff. And said again if we get the water we will get the life to our families, animals and it will be end of our suffering.  He added we will a shame their ancestors whom they have worship in Mount Kandam in all generation.  We asked him how many families do you have? And he said I have five wives with more than 37 children. Have you educated your children? And said for what benefit? And he makes us to laugh, what is the school? Is the school brought water, and then if it is that I will let my children to learn.

General long-term vision for these regions: 

We have more than 110 villages which have not been reached by anyone else, some they don’t want to be identify because of their external attack from the neighboring communities, because of this they suffer a lot. So if God’s open ways here’s what we hope to do:

 

  • Wells.  If these villages can get one bore hole each can serve about three hundred families
  • Dispensaries.  if five villages can get one dispensary it will can serve more 1500 families from one village to the other is approximately 15km away and for them these km are very near. We need to buy  the drilling machine and it’s truck, compressor and all facilities belong for drilling machine.   After the boreholes have been drilled, we will need to be accompanied with qualified volunteers, builders/mason. They will build the stream and fixing the pipes and water pumps in order even a small child can be able to access water easily. And after finishing one borehole we extend to another one, so the work of building the borehole will need wire mesh, pipes and iron bars, waterproof and cement. Buying the drilling it will be cheaper compared to hiring, because hiring for drilling one borehole is about 2.5m Kenyan shilling equivalent to $30,000 USD and this can be hired from NGOs and drilling company in Kenya.
  • School.   We have large and huge number of children in every village and remember, even the people of age 14 have not gone to school, but below 12 years it will good for them to join nursery and class one and they are ready to study.
  • Toilets.  We prefer if one family can get one toilet, it will be safer for them or we make for the community of three hundred families we dug 10 toilets with four doors each. And every school we dug three toilet, one for the teacher and two children.
  • Development.   People in these areas are still behind like early 18 century, they don’t know about development and according to geographically some of the families, their children are being identified and being educated by family members who were more civilized and we can use them to interpret to their language hire them to wducate their children, because they understand the native language and their challenges, but the site of dispensaries we can do the same and have the volunteers from other region to go and assist them
  • Polytechnic.  We can start the polytechnic and have sewing machine, carpentry tools, bakery items, and masonry.   They are very good for handcrafting and we can make the market for other region, so that they can sale their commodities.  Their young boys and girls, they are very brave to learn things, so the polytechnic can be good gift to them and this can change the old way of thinking and pursuing things to new generation.

About starting out pre-school in these regions.   The first community we visited, since the land was owned by the community Elders, it is under the observation and protected by the community, so the first village , they sit on April 22, 2014 with our team representative one day before we leave to Kitale and they called the local chief government representative and they have drafted officially the agreement between IGEM and the community, they have offered to us five acres of land freely in order for us and our partnering team to set up pre-school, dispensary, Drilling water and polytechnic if necessary and all three village has done so, they wrote the agreement in Swahili language. They took us as a sign of appreciation to God, and they gave me the tradition seat as the represent of the church, according to their culture and they said that my God will be their God and our people will be their people.

They have given us the full freedom to walk in these communities in liberty and confidence. Also they have given us 20 youths to come and build relationship as well as sharing the word of God for one month and a half as from July up to the middle of August, so we request if anybody wants to share with them, through teaching materials you are free to share. All of them they know Swahili and local language; we shall be able to interpret English for them.  I learned these through Brother Wayne, that it is good to build relationship with the small group and teach them, instead of huge group, I belief if we can able to stay with these young people for that moment, it will be more effective than sending the team to go and work there. Among them, six of them we gave bicycles and bibles. Our Kenyan volunteers were sympathetic after they saw, very big help you supported our brothers and sisters in these regions, the one who gave truck to carry our facilities pledged to donate sweater while other volunteers pledged to buy uniform for all pupils and they will bring these uniform in the first week of May.  The told us the name of the village is called Catalasia in English is tick, which bites animals and I ask them do you like the name?   they said no? They said choose the name of the village, and I renamed it Java, and they became happy about the name.  One of the volunteers bought ten iron sheets as the start of the school. This is how this school was born. So as God provide the school need to be open 1May 19, 2014. So we went with three volunteers who have volunteers to teach the school, they promise to teach till we prepare the native teachers, “I ask them will you manage to stay in desperate areas? Yes. Why not!  These love people and we need to feel and encouraged them that they are loved too. Apart from this three, one lady from the local area arises and says I will also assist as a teacher in this school; she is trained and qualified teacher.

We have approximated over 200 children who are ready to join the school, which will be launching officially with four teachers. Right now we need to have 100 iron sheet, 20,000 bricks, 150 bags of cements, before we drilled our borehole, we need to buy one motorbike for transport water for the school. 70 Desks and black board, textbook, exercise books, pens, pencils and other stationary, feeding program, breakfast and lunch in the evening they return back to their respective villages, and little support for the teachers and staff, dinging toilets and kitchen.  The local people have agreed to provide five acres of land, they will be clearing the thorny pushes and they will be involved in construction provided they eat till the school will be finished. For all the project, if we start with the school, dispensary and drilling water, then other will follow later it will be grateful.

 

Michael Wafula

I am moved by how much these Kenyans who know great need are giving freely to other Kenyans more desperate than they are.  I don’t know if God will provide enough resource through the people who read this page and listen to the podcast.  Maybe in a network of friends and friends of friends God will allow us to tap enough resource to get some wells there as well as dispensary and schools.  I have no idea what all that means yet, but I’m willing to put it before the Lord alongside my brothers and sisters and see what Father provides. 

Your prayers are most welcome for the people in need and the IGEM people who are in West Pokot right now.  If you can and want to help financially you can direct it through Lifestream as contributions are tax-deductible in the US.  As always, every dollar you send goes to the need in Kenya.  We do not (nor do they) take out any administrative or money transfer fees.  If you would like to be part of this to support these brothers and sisters and see the gospel grow in this part of Africa, please see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

 

Here are some pictures from their outreach:

Medical station where doctors and nurses offered treatment

 

The joy of food reaching a distant village by bike and a woman who collapsed of dehydration and malnourishment before she could reach the staging area

The starging area for food and medical care

 

Some of the volunteers expressing their appreciation for those who gave money to help this happen.

 

Lined up for help and a woman’s gratefulness

 

Some of the children in need of a school

 

Thanks to all of you who by prayer or financial gift, helped this take place.  You have no idea of the lives you helped save and the joy you brought to some very desperate people.  

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Let the Church Be the Church!

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It’s time to catch another big bird out of Los Angeles.  Tomorrow I’m of to Maryland and Virginia for some conversations about this amazing life we have in Christ.  I haven’t done this in awhile and am looking forward to the people I’m going to meet and the life we’ll share together.  

Before I go, I thought I’d leave you with an excerpt from the book I’m working on, Finding Church:  What If There Really Is Something More.  One of my hopes with this book is that once again the idea of the church captures our heart, not as the source of pain and legalism, but as a spotless bride Jesus is assembling from around the world. We’ve been so focused on the church man builds, that many of us miss the one Jesus is building.  It is my hope that many of us will come to see that the longing in our heart for real community is the call of God to be part of that bride.  

I’m not advocating for an isolated, everyone-is-a-church-to-themselves idea.  The church takes her expression in relationships we have with others who are also following him—local friendships as well as international connections as he knits the wider body together.   We’ll first see it reflected in conversations where Jesus makes himself known.  Some of those conversations will grow into more enduring connections in friendships that become part of the fabric of our lives as we serve, encourage, and grow together.  These friendships will lead to others and out of that network of friends and friends of friends, God will have all the resource he needs to invite us to agreement in prayer and collaborative actions to fulfill his purposes around us.

Can it really be that simple?  This is perhaps the greatest stumbling block to people seeing the church for what she is.  It’s too simple, they think, or too easy.  So they put their trust in the vast array of discordant institutions instead of the work of Jesus.  As we’ll see connecting is difficult only because it is far easier than we dare to believe.  In fact, you probably have those growing connections with people, even in the congregation you attend.  I’m only suggesting that your interaction with them expresses more freely the life of the church than sitting in a pew watching the staged activity up front.

So we are going to have to make a distinction in our minds between the church that humanity has attempted to build for two thousand years, and the community of the new creation that Jesus is building. They are not the same, though they can gloriously overlap on occasion.  It’s just that our conformity-based structures cannot produce the internal transformation necessary for the church to take shape among us. 

Years ago a friend offered me a challenge.  “Why don’t we only use the term ‘church” the way Paul talks about her in the Scriptures?  Let’s call the church what he calls the church and not be distracted by the institutions that use the term for something less than the reality.”  It hasn’t been easy.  Common usage trips me up all the time, but I do think the word is worth preserving as a term of endearment so that as we read the Scriptures it will evoke the church Jesus had in mind.   I’m going to endeavor to do that here.  Rather than use the term for any collection of Christians that meet together in an established system, I’ll use the term church to describe the family of God, which Jesus is putting on display in the world.  When I talk about Sunday morning institutions, I’m going to use the word congregations or fellowships.  When, because of popular usage, I have no choice but to use the word ‘church’ (such as ‘church split’) for that which is not truly the church, I’ll set it off with quotes. 

For the past twenty years I have been privileged to be in a growing conversation with people all over the world who have lost confidence that an institution can provide the environment the church of Jesus Christ needs to flourish in our day.  Some of those have already left their congregations in search of a better home.  Many others who share the same concerns are still in them, either because they are trying to make the best of a situation for which they see no plausible alternative or because they don’t want to risk separation from family and friends.  Many of these are pastors and elders who know better than anyone else the constant struggle between institutional needs and living the priorities of Jesus’ kingdom. 

Those of us who’ve already left did so either because we were pushed out for asking the wrong questions or we left because we could no longer continue to serve the demands of an institution that seemed so at odds with the passion growing in our hearts.  None of us did so easily, having spent decades serving in local congregations and engaged in multiple efforts to reform them.  In the end we left not to abandon our faith, but to explore that faith on a more vibrant journey than our congregations would allow.

I am not writing this book for those who are comfortable in the institutions we’ve inherited in the 21st century, but for those who have the nagging feeling that what we call church today can’t possibly express what Jesus promised.  If it doesn’t, how can we recognize and engage the reality of Jesus’ church as she is already growing in the world?  

I have so apprecited the vantage point I’ve had over the past twenty years to watch this flock come together.  No, it isn’t all that visible for people looking for something splashy, but if you’re looking for the transformation that is going on as people are learning to live in his affection, and seeing the relationships he is connecting all over the world, his work is breathtaking.  Of course he wouldn’t do it like we would do it.  His ways are far better.  I hope this book will stir people’s hearts and open their eyes to a wonderful reality going on in the world.  

 

The book is finally coming together and I hope to be finished with it soon.  Right now I’m polishing some of the language, tieing up a few loose ends, and still trying to lose about twelve thousand words so there is less chaff and more wheat!  Or so I hope!  

 

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When God Shapes A Family

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Well, we’re back, and it was quite a trip!  Being in Israel at all the historic sites where God unfolded his story of redemption is a moving and stimulating experience.  I even got to be in some places I had not been before, like the high place Jeroboam built to keep people from going to Jerusalem to solidify his power over half the kingdom when Solomon died, Caesera Phillipi where the events of Matthew 16 happened, the tombs of the Patriarchs in Hebron, and the Holocaust Museum in Jerusalem.  The other sites I’d been to before, but sharing them with Sara and 39 others was a joy. Our guide (pictured at left with Sara and me) was incredibly helpful and deeply touched by the love and life that our group shared together.  I’m still blown away with it myself, and I’ve been through this kind of thing a number of times before.  I’m sure there will be more about all of this on this week’s podcast.

How can forty strangers show up from all over the world, with little similarities in cultural or spiritual backgrounds, and spend ten days together and in the end become such a tight-knit family, where the emails I’m receiving this morning are how much they already miss each other having returned to our various corners of the globe?  I’ve had tastes of that wherever I’ve traveled in the world and find it always hard to part after a few days together because of how God knits hearts together.  Many got a taste of it at our gathering in Ireland a couple of years ago that promted the article, Friends and Friends of Friends.  I do see Jesus knitting his church together just through things like this that bring people together from distant places and allows them to connect as friends that will go far beyond the days we got to spend together.

Ten days in a bus as well as shared meals in hotels will do that.  I love how quickly people fall in with each other and this trip was filled with lots of laughter, as well as walking with people through some painful bits in their lives. People were really ready to let others into their lives, to be genuine without the need to try to impress each other.  No one was pressured to do anything other than they freely chose to do (other than wake up earlier than some wanted to catch the bus) and friendships began that will last a lifetime.  Through our time together God built us into a family that learned to walk together, love each other, and share a life-changing experience.  Yes, the circumstances were a bit artifical.  We were on a task together (exploring Israel), free from the responsibilites of everyday life, outside of our own routines, and together constantly with the same people.   Our time in Ireland offered the same dynamics.  But just because the environment is a bit artificial, the relationships aren’t. I can think of so many of those people I’d love to invite over to dinner tonight and continue the conversation.  The bonding of our hearts was deep and real and I’ve no doubt will continue to bear fruit around the world in days and years to come.  I’ve been enjoying relationships like that for a long time now.  

But doesn’t that same bonding happen with every tour group?  Not according to our Israeli guide and our bus driver.  They both commented how much they enjoyed all of us and the way we navigated life together.  They’ve seen hundreds of groups but knew they were witnessing a different dynamic here.  I loved watching the journey unfold through the eyes of our guide.  He continued to make comments and asked questions and I watched him won into our friendships even has he was trying to maintain a professional distance.  He was continually surprised that these people had not met each other before and yet so quickly and joyously became part of each other’s lives. He didn’t have a box to fit us into, and soon found himself endeared to so many in our group and repeatedly asked questions about what we believed and why we were there.  On our final day we paused in a Jewish cemetary as we descended down the road Jesus took from the Mt. of Olives into Jerusalem on the Sunday before his crucifixion.  There we sang and shared gazing on Temple Mount and in the end our affection spilled out in a sea of hugs that he was caught up in as well.  He later told me he was undone by it and wasn’t ready for that to happen.  Later he sat in the hotel with us as people gathered their things to head to the airport.  For two and a half hours he joined our conversations, sharing pictures of family and stories from his personal life.  He told me he never does that but couldn’t stop himself.  With a smile in his eye he accused me of making him break his own rules.  That made me smile!   

When people are engaging Jesus as a real person in their lives, I find the only thing that’s needed for fellowship to be rich and full is proximity.  That’s how he builds a family.  By connecting us to him and then letting us live alongside each other long enough for friendships to take hold.  Even if that is for only ten days, a marvelous reality emerges.  Jesus takes expression in his family and the fruits are a delectable feast!  This was one of those times when we got to be part of something so much greater than the sum of our parts.  We got to experience what common-unity is in his family, not because we agreed on everything, but because we were people growing in his reality and could enjoy each other freely.

This is the fruit I enjoy most traveling around the world, whether it’s something like this or being in a home with 4-5 or 35 people.  I love it when God connects people on this journey and they discover how easy it is to share the life of Jesus together with others who are growing in his love as well.  If you ever have a chance to go to a gathering of folks in your area who are learing to live loved, do it.  Even if you have to cancel some things and drive (or fly) some distance.  It’s worth doing and you’ll find that when people no longer have theological agendas, or a need to push others into their way of thinking, that it really isn’t so difficult to love each other and share his life together.

Of course our very human need now will be to memorialize this event and try to hold on to the exprience longer than we need to. Though we joked about a yearly retreat somewhere in the world, that’s the stuff of human imaginings.  We were part of an amazing ten-day experience and we got to touch the reality of the family Jesus is building in the world.  As an event it’s time has passed.  Life happened there and certainly those friendships will endure as we cross paths throughout the world in years to come.  But there’s no way to recreate it and trying to would destroy the mystery of it.   What was true about his family that we experienced there will grow on with the next person we find ourselves engaging at home or at work.  

Passion and proximity allowed the family of God to take shape around us.  That can happen right where you are, too.  It may mean that you have to break some of your routines as well.  If what you’re doing now doesn’t lead you to community, it may be time to blow up some routines, and lay down some of our distractions.  It may help to be on a task together, rather than trying to build a group.  We didn’t go to Israel to build a community and we didn’t do ice-breaking games to artificially provoke it.  Community is the work God does as we make room in our lives for others.  That task can be as simple as exploring who Jesus is, but being intentional about relationships without manipulating people to a desired outcome will go a long ways. 

We were part of an amazing family for ten days, and all the more that it comprised people from five different continents, from virtually every walk of life.  We were enriched by the life we shared together, but it is only a brief picture of a larger family God is shaping in the world.  Ask him how you can see that take expression near you.

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