Search Results for: Friends and friends of friends

At left you’ll see the Thursday evening sunset we witnessed on a beach west of Wellington. Since then we have journeyed south, first by Ferry across the Cook Straight through a giant pod of dolphins to the South Island. From there we drove by car across some amazing countryside and then along the coastline down to Christchurch. We will weekend here and then head inland to Faerlie for the remainder of our stay. Sara and I fly home on Thursday.

One of the constant themes of our fellowship throughout New Zealand has been the wonderful things that God has done as people simply followed their heart instead of listening to the detractors and naysayers. We heard a lengthy story by a woman whose father had abandoned her and her siblings to alcohol and a mother who had been so overwhelmed with her small children she turned them over to an orphanage and vanished. Decades of anger however yielded to the Lord’s working and she told of the way God had led her to reconciliation with her father when he was dying and with her mother when she was 70. Each time a specific direction in her heart and the willingness to follow it opened doors she had never imagined t

We also talked to another woman who had made some incredible decisions not to use some incredible material to advance her own name or websites. When I asked her why she hadn’t more clearly linked her name to it, she said that it just didn’t feel right.

We also met a group of people who had recently been pushed out of a fellowship they had helped to plant because they began to ask questions about tithing, leadership and covering that made their long-time colleagues reject them as rebellious and spread gossip about them over a wide array of past friendships. Even though they have been castigated for it they have followed their heart instead of giving in to the pressure and manipulation of others.

God does incredible things in folks who simply follow their hearts. Unfortunately our religious systems rather than teaching people how to follow what God puts on their heart, actually teach them not to. Those who lead them talk about the heart being desperately wicked and that they need confirmation from their leaders before stepping out. Unfortunately, however, what God often puts on our hearts will not fit easily into human systems, and those who lead them will rarely be able to affirm what God has asked them to do. By teaching people not to trust what Father puts on their heart, they rob them of the adventure that will help them know him better and lead them to some incredible experiences.

“Don’t you think God would show that to us if it were true?” I’ve heard of that question asked a lot when people sense God leading them in a direction their so-called leaders don’t like. It creates the false notion that people following their heart are arrogant people and lack humility. But God wants us to learn how to follow his leadings in our heart, even if others do not agree. It doesn’t mean we’re always right, but that we will learn in the following. Yes, I know people who constantly write God’s name on their own agenda, but that simply becomes known in time. The early apostles taught believers to ‘believe what they hear’ and not allow anyone else, even them, to undermine the leading of their conscience.

It’s a wonderful lesson for us all. Follow your heart and don’t worry about making mistakes, because God can use those as well. And remember, those who know Father will encourage you to listen to him, not discourage you in their attempts to get you to follow them.

I wept yesterday. I shed more tears than any day in recent memory. And, quite frankly, I was surprised by it.

Since I was in Kansas last week, I had little opportunity to follow the services and ceremonies for President Ronald Reagan. Sara taped them for me and I spent almost all day yesterday watching the celebration of his life and legacy and the mourning of his passing. I was surprised at the emotional reaction I had to all of it. I had wanted to watch it because of the historical uniqueness of a President’s passing, and the fact that his Presidential library is only a few miles from where I live.

Though I voted for President Reagan in both elections, and supported much of his agenda, I have not thought of him as one of our greatest presidents. As time marches on, however, he may prove to be the greatest in my lifetime, which alone says volumes about the times in which we live. No, my tears did not flow today because of a personal sense of loss at his passing. I wept for other reasons.

I am sure I wept a bit because my emotions were manipulated the pageantry, images, and music of these ceremonies. They are designed to do that, you know. Many of the songs of faith pulled at my heartstrings and          the simple power of military protocol and patriotism makes a powerful mix. But I also know it was far more than that.

I wept in memory of a President I respected and whose ideals of freedom and courage of his convictions inspired me personally and set a new tone in American history. I always admired his amazing gift of communication, his graciousness toward opponents and his quick-witted humor.

I wept in grief for his widow, Nancy. Their deep and abiding love had been first robbed by disease then severed by death. Her pain reminded me of so many other friends and family past and present waging war against horribly debilitating diseases in others they love deeply. It also made me appreciate Sara so much more and the gift that she is to me.

I wept for the mortality of the human soul and the suffering of a world in conflict, disease and death that has too-long embraced an order that is grossly out of synch with the passions of the One who created us all.

I wept in gratitude for significant people in my own life who have preceded me to the presence of the Father I love so much.

And perhaps most of all I wept in sorrow for the demeaned image of God presented before the world in the trappings of a lofty cathedral and in the presumption of dress and ceremony by the religious professionals who took part in the service. These things were designed to make the rich and powerful comfortable in religious moments, rather than bear the glory of God to the weak and wounded of the world. I thought those things made Christianity look weak, powerless and empty—a God whose veneer we invoke in our sorrow, not a Father whose love we can embrace every day.

And I wept in wonder at God’s graciousness to visit people in such places and behind such trappings. In spite of the over-done pageantry of religion his voice could be clearly heard in the simple words of those who expressed their own faith and that of President Reagan’s especially following his assassination attempt.

And I have awakened to this day with a deeper love and a firmer resolve to live deeply in Jesus, following him wherever he asks me to go, as long as he gives me breath in this body.

On Monday I leave for a very special trip. My father, son and I are flying to Washington DC to tour the city and to attend the dedication of the World War II Memorial, , on the National Mall next Saturday. I have been looking forward to this for a long time, not only to have some special time with my dad and son, and to celebrate my father’s life and his sacrifice in that great conflict.

Fresh out of high school my father enlisted in the infantry to help liberate Europe from the death grip of a madman. He was wounded in a vineyard in northeast just before New Year’s Day, 1945. That experience changed my dad’s life and I have feasted on the fruits of it my entire life. A few years ago he told a story to my wife and daughter that explains so much of his life.

In the middle of that conflict, enduring the bitter elements and trauma of war my dad had a conversation with God. “If you get me out of this conflict alive, I will never complain about anything as long as I live.” It wasn’t so much a vow to barter his way out of trouble, as it was a statement of fact. Dad knew that he would never experience any worse circumstances in his life than he faced there.

Over the years I watched my dad (at right) lose two raisin harvests, his only source of income, to unseasonable rainstorms. I heard others mock and vilify him for leaving congregations that had spiraled into more self than Spirit. I’ve prayed alongside him for people captured in the deepest bondages and watched him care for my oldest brother as he battled Multiple Sclerosis, and even endured his passing. He has been married for more than 50 years and I have never once heard my dad complain about anything, which is remarkable since I grew up complaining about everything.

In times of crisis and challenge I have seen him lean into Jesus with a gentleness and confidence that has held him through his entire life. He has been my father not only of the flesh, but also of the spirit as his example has inspired me to seek the reality and freedom of life in Jesus and never to settle for anything less.

Over the course of the next week I’ll be celebrating him and the best of what America has offered the world. I’ll tour our national museums and historic sites. I’ll attend patriotic ceremonies where I know I’ll be touched by the incredible ideals that have marked the American experiment. While I don’t see American as a ‘Christian Nation’, I do think on balance she has been a force for good in the world and here best ideals of liberty and justice for all are derived from God’s heart. Though our performance on these issues has always been flawed, there have always been men and women calling us to our best. And I will continue to pray for our leaders and be grateful for the men and women who have sacrificed their lives around the world in the name of freedom.

That may come as a surprise to those of you who took offense to my column on the perceived arrogance of the current administration’s rhetoric and foreign policy. Some of you seemed only to prove my point the harder you tried to rebut it. Our expressions of superiority undermine our moral credibility. To talk about how we’re being perceived in the world by our friends is not a judgment against President Bush’s Christianity, but to pray it transforms him even more. It is perhaps asking too much, but I want anyone who claims Christ’s name to also bear his character to the world and think that will go a long ways to accomplish the things President Bush says he wants.

So this week will be filled with joy and celebration as three generations of Jacobsen’s tour DC and join 100s of thousands of people on the Mall next Saturday. I see no problem giving thanks to Jesus for the incredible things he has done in our nation, at the same time I pray for her weaknesses. I do no less for my own life…

My last blog on rejection initiated an email contact with a sister half way around the world. She’s recently walked away from a religious institution because it seemed to her to be abusive.

My big fear is that perhaps they’re right. What if they’re right? What if I’m falling away from God? What if what they say is true – I’m unhappy in church because I’m the problem?

But I can’t fix myself. Don’t know how. Don’t even know where to start.

I mean, if my two best friends and my church leaders are all criticizing me the same way, are they right?

Does my passion scare them so much? Shouldn’t they be happier for me?

I just don’t get it, Wayne. All I want to do is to know God better. I want to break free from the prison I’ve found myself in. I want to question how things are done. Why must they come over and call me names? This journey made me love GOd more. It made me disillusioned with the church, which is good, since it was my crutch before.

Now all I have is Him. And I feel safer now.

 

Here’s how I responded:

I know what you’re going through at least a bit because I went through it myself 10 years ago. It is so hard when close friends suddenly regard you as an outsider. My heart goes out to you. I remember the questions of self-doubt very well. If the two brothers I had worked with closest in ministry now regarded me as unfit for the kingdom, what does that say about me?

 

I don’t think decisions like this are made, however, with trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong. When I stepped away from an abusive environment I wrestled with that also. But I think it is a false question. If I have to decide I’m more wise or closer to Jesus than someone else to step away, I’d never do it. What I found myself saying to God was, “I don’t know who is right or wrong here, but I have to follow my heart. If I am being selfish and independent, then let me be seen for that. If, however, I am following you, let that be known as well.” That gave me the freedom to follow my heart as he drew me closer to himself. I have never regretted it.

 

Time will let the truth be known and if you’re free to admit you’re wrong if that becomes true, then you don’t need to second-guess yourself every waking moment. I think we go on this journey by having the freedom to follow our heart, even if we might make a mistake. True friends will celebrate that with us. Those who just want to use us for their agendas, will be threatened by it. They’ll argue, “Who are you to disagree with us?” But that’s not how God works. That’s why you feel safer following him than pleasing others around you.

 

It can be lonely at times, though. It took me a couple of years to de-tox from religion—seeking the approval of others, feeling guilty for not doing what others demanded and finding my purpose in fulfilling institutional obligations. Through that whole time, however, God just kept making himself clearer and clearer to me. I think you’re already finding that to be true.

 

You’ll also find disillusionment to be a wonderful thing. It means we have illusions about God or about his body that God wants to ‘dis’ so that we could see him as he really is and his body as she really is in the world. In time you will know these are great days to have behind you, because the freedom they will produce in the long haul is truly amazing!

   I had a great time in Washington State last weekend. I spent my entire time west of Puget Sound on the Olympic Peninsula, some of it in Port Orchard and some of it around Port Angeles. A few of us even took an afternoon hike on Saturday through the rain forest to the falls pictured at left. We gathered every night and often talked through the day with people on various stages of the journey—many of them wanting a greater reality in Jesus and a richer body life with others.

We talked about so many things, from helping people get focused on Jesus instead of various ‘church’ models to encouraging people to walk in his freedom rather than the expectations and demands of even well-meaning Christians around them who think our dependence is on an institution rather than on Christ. Some people really struggled with things we shared, others embraced them with open hearts knowing that we were only giving voice to things God was already teaching them. I love when that happens.

As I was reading in I Peter 4 this morning in The Message I came across some passages that speak to that directly. Unfortunately we normally only apply them to people in the world:

Then further down that chapter:

It’s easy to see these passages as only applicable to those caught up in the rebellious ways of the world, but Jesus also lived this out with people who were caught up in the demanding ways of religion. When the religionists of his day chided him for not fitting into their ways or respecting their authority, he was not swayed. He followed his Father’s voice rather than the jealous cries of his threatened countrymen. One of the hardest hurdles for any of us schooled in religion to get past is no longer to seek the approval of others. People caught up in religion use approval to manipulate people. If you conform to their ways they shower acceptance on you. But if you don’t they heap blame and accusations on you hoping to scare you back into the fold.

Peter wanted his readers to remember that it is God that we and our detractors give account to, not each other. If we are following him we will no longer be manipulated by those voices that seek to lure us back into religious obligation or reject our spirituality because it doesn’t conform to their expectations. I love Peter’s reminder in that as well. If you’re suffering the rejection of others because you’re following Christ, then consider yourself fortunate. If, however, you are rejected because you are arrogant, bitter or destructive, then that’s a different matter entirely. Don’t glory in the trouble caused by self, but that which is caused by your life in Jesus and that rejection will only become another tool in his hands to make you more like him.

I know how scary and painful it can be to risk friendships like that, but it is the only way to follow him and in the end you’ll also get to find out who your true friends really are. Real friends will support your passion for Jesus even if they don’t understand the way he’s leading you. To live in his fullness we have to follow him instead of playing to the crowd—whether that’s those caught up in the world, or those held captive by religion.

I don’t often comment on political events in this forum, but there’s something I’ve noticed in my recent travels that has disturbed me deeply. Admittedly my experiences overseas are limited, but I have noticed a significant shift in how America is perceived overseas, and this from believers among our closest allies. Where I used to hear warm appreciation for what America stood for and passionate support for our struggle against terrorism, I now hear the suspicion that we care only for ourselves and will walk over anyone to get what we want.

It’s almost embarrassing to travel as an American in the world these days. Our foreign policy in the last few years has conveyed an arrogance that alienates even our friends.
President Bush ran for office promising a new humility in American foreign policy. “Let us not dominate others with our power,” he said in 1999. “Let us have an American foreign policy that reflects American character — the modesty of true strength, the humility of real greatness. This will be the spirit of my administration.” During the October 200 debate he said the US was attemptiong too much abroad. “If we are an arrogant nation, they will resent us. If we’re a humble nation but strong, they’ll welcome us.”

The campaign rhetoric said he got that but his actions since have demonstrated that he does not. His policies only foster American self-interest without taking into consideration the needs and desires of other nations. Watch the language he uses to communicate with other countries. He talks down to them as a parent would scold a wayward child and in doing so only fosters resentment instead of cooperation.

When you can drop a cruise missile on a specific desk, through a specific window on a specific floor of a high-rise, you do not have to bluster your way around the world. There is no longer an evil empire to play good cop against and if we don’t walk wisely and humbly before the rest of the world we could easily become the common enemy as the last bully on the block.

Even though I receive countless emails from the latest Christian author or singer to come out the Oval Office professing how humble a man our president is, I no longer believe it. I used to chalk it up to his Texas bravado but am now convinced that our President cannot speak humbly before the world, because he really thinks our society superior, he believes our interests are the only ones that matter, and he despises those who don’t see things his way.

It appears now that President Bush’s commitment to war in Iraq was based on faulty intelligence. When we were being told to trust this administration because they knew more than they could tell us, it turns out they knew even less than they let on. Here’s where a bit of owning up would go a long way to dispel the notion of arrogance. But instead of admitting our mistake, he continues to defend it and even speaks about freeing Iraq with an evangelistic zeal, citing America’s divine mission to spread freedom throughout the world. It is scary if not also a bit oxymoronic to think of spreading freedom by military conquest. You cannot force people to embrace freedom and cannot give it to people who will not take it for themselves. The quest for freedom must rise from within a culture. When our founding fathers drafted the Declaration of Independence they put their very lives and fortunes on the line to gain what no one else could give them.

If countries in the Islamic world find freedom it’s because the progressive elements within in them will rise up and reject the tyranny of violence, brutality and control that keep them captive. They will speak out clearly and loudly even at great personal risk and only then will they know freedom from the terrorists and clerics that hold them captive. That said, we now have a great responsibility to support our troops in the most difficult of circumstances and do all we can to rebuild Iraq into a functioning society, if that is possible. We have to recognize that military power alone will never win this war if our rhetoric and policies only encourage others to take the place of those terrorists we kill or capture. For that we need the help of other nations around the world and to do that we’ll have to treat them as partners not as children.

If more Americans traveled abroad we might recognize our own arrogance better. Even as I write this I know many of my American friends will not appreciate what I’m writing (though I meet an increasing number who are uncomfortable with Bush’s language) and those overseas will. Americans are too often the loudest voices in the airports and talk to people of other nations as if we are experts on everything. We still measure temperature by Fahrenheit when everyone else uses Celsius and we are the only nation that hosts ‘World Championships’ without inviting the rest of the world to compete. We consume way too much of the world’s resources and only demonstrate greater greed for more. Even the entertainment we export glorifies our decadence in the name of profit. And sadly our culture treats the loss of American life as more tragic than the loss of any other.

In the minds of others these things are starting to outweigh our generosity that has helped suffering people the world over, our courage that has put our young men and women in harm’s way to rescue others from invasion and our creativity that has provided technology and resources for the world. If we don’t learn how to bend over backwards to play fairly alongside the other nations of the earth we cannot blame them if they join together against us as the mighty Goliath that needs to be knocked down a peg.

Humility is not weaknesses. The term is derived from the concept of controlled strength and pictures a warhorse at rest. Only the insecure and fearful have to boast and bluster. Those who are truly strong and confident can sit at ease until that strength is needed. They can act with resolve, but also compassion, earning people’s respect instead of their disdain. The war on terror will never be won by military might alone if we don’t also disarm the desperation and anger that feeds their army.

It is time for us to do some deep soul-searching in America sort out how we are being perceived in the world. If we cannot fund a more humble and gracious voice to the rest of the world we’ll find ourselves increasingly isolated. No matter what our military power can accomplish it will only succeed in further alienating our friends and inspiring further hatred in our enemies.

Over the last few weeks I’ve found an old chorus running around my head. Part of it says,

I just returned yesterday from Sacramento after a five day trip to visit with believers in the area and encourage what God is doing in them. My son, Andrew, was able to go with me on this trip to check out a potential move to that area. What a weekend we had sharing God’s life together, meeting new friends and reconnecting with others who’ve been together before!

I spent most of my time in the Elk Grove area. A number of young couples and singles living in that area have found themselves spilling out of various religious institutions and are finding life together in various kinds of house church groupings. The fellowship they share together and the connections they maintain between groups has really encouraged them to live the journey. Many of these had been trained for vocational congregational leadership and been trained for it. Hungering for greater reality than they could find in the institutions they were a part of, they have risked so much to follow Jesus in more relational expressions of body life and other vocations.

On Sunday I spent some time with a large group from North Highlands which has been decentralizing their institution over the last five years and learning to live relationally in God and with each other. This was my fifth time among them and it is always fun to connect with such dear friends. I always look forward to reconnecting because I enjoy so much the journey they are on and the risks they’ve taken to follow the Lamb wherever he leads them.

We also had some others from the Bay Area and from the mountains above Sacramento come over to join us as well. Some of those people I’d corresponded with on the net and have talked to by phone but never met. (One of them is my blog guru who has taught me the joys of blogging. He and his wife are from South Africa and I had a great time getting to know them.) It is great to see God drawing people to himself in our day and the kind of hungers he has placed on their heart. For hours each day and often long into the night, we talked about how we shake free of religious thinking so that we can live freely in God’s life. I loved the hunger I saw for genuine relationship and the price they were willing to pay to find God’s life and freedom. It is so enriching to spend time with people who focused on growing in relationship with God and other believers and not trying to build an institution for themselves.

I want to thank each of them for opening their hearts so wide to my son and me and letting us peek in on their life for a few days. I have no doubt they are well in the master’s hands and that he is leading them spacious pastures and the cool, clean water of his refreshing.

Sometimes it is easy to miss the forest for the trees.

I’ve spent a lot of time lately with people that are really excited about ‘Simple Church.’ I’d be excited about it too if it weren’t capitalized. I’m all for simple church life. But ‘Simple Church’ is a way of doing church in homes with built-in organizational expectations and many come with networking machinery attached. This is the latest incarnation of relational church models that have unfolded in the past two decades—Cell, House, Organic, and now Simple. I’m concerned that once we get our eyes on models for replicating some form of what we call church, we get our eyes off of Jesus and miss what he would do to connect us with others both local and distant.

I got this note from a brother last week:

Here’s my response:

Real church life begins when we recognize that no human effort can build his church. That’s his job. He asked us to go and proclaim the gospel and make disciples—which is helping people get the journey of living in him—and the church of Jesus Christ will spring up all around us. I’m sure this is more than you bargained for, and unfortunately I know that most people need to go this ‘network’ direction as a way of seeing through all man’s systems to try to replicate church.  But if I can save you that detour, I think you’ll be grateful.

Surprisingly enough a few days later I got a call from this brother. His response was fabulous. He said that as they were forming this ‘network’ he kept feeling unsettled about how they were going about it. We talked for almost an hour about recognizing how God works rather than pushing him into our boxes. I loved his openness and honesty with me and willingness to take a fresh look at the direction they were headed to see if God might have something even more free and more fruitful.

One of the first crises people face who live institutional gatherings, is to replicate something that fulfills the same obligation. We think we need it to survive spiritually and it certainly makes us more acceptable to friends in institutions that think we’re backsliding if we’re not involved in something we can call a church. But when we grab for a model to give us security, we risk missing out once again on the reality of the Body of Christ as she exists in the world. When we impose human models on God’s working, we lose out on the unique expressions of body life that would arise from people who just learn to love believers around them and to look for ways to encourage them to live more deeply in Jesus. Once you’ve tasted of that you know it defies every model we would seek to impose on her, and only results in dividing up Christ’s body once again.

Interestingly enough, the next day I got an email from someone who lives in my city and who just returned from a Simple Church conference. He was looking for a home church in Oxnard. I told him that I hang out with a group of believers in the area who are learning to share life together and that he was welcome to join us. I warned him that he wouldn’t find us to be banner-waving ‘house’ church folks, though, but simply people learning to love Jesus and finding ways to love each other in the process. If something more formal than that emerged in the future, we were OK with that, but hadn’t felt led that way at the moment. But we are studying Galatians right now on Tuesday evenings and he was sure welcome to join us.

He didn’t. He was looking for a specific package we didn’t offer, and in doing so he missed the opportunity right in front of him.