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I Love Watching God Change People

Still no baby yet! My daughter is beginning to feel some contractions this afternoon, however, so it might not be long. Until then, I thought I’d share with you the transformtion going on in a life. Last week I got this email from a brother I met this fall and whose group I got to hang out with for a weekend. Here’s how he summed up what God is doing in his life and then my response follows:

My wife and I just listened to a bit of disc 2 in The Security of Father’s Love. Man did that speak to me. I find myself constantly trying harder, only to find myself falling short time and time again. I also tend to question the sincerity of my heart. I know I just need to accept the fact that God loves me and there is nothing that I have ever done, or could do that would diminish that one bit. Why does that seem easier said than done? What have I done to myself to get me to think this way? Perhaps I have not been truly trusting God to be God. Maybe I have been more focused on changing God under the premise of changing myself. He is what he is and there is nothing I can do to change him. I just need to pray to him that I accept who he is and not what I have tried to create him to be.

On the home front I am very excited about what has been happening in my home. Ami and I have been inviting over lots of people to our house. Almost all of them are nonbelievers. I believe that God has put them in our path for a reason. As a matter of fact, God is really expanding my horizons because a few of them are gay. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a gay basher but I never would have thought to invite them into my home under the guise of keeping my children free from impurities. What a Pharisee! I now see that if my children do realize that they are gay, I have a wonderful opportunity to show them that we can love the person unconditionally and yet not approve of their choices.

Looking back, I was trying to find other Christians to invite over, but now I feel that I had it all wrong. While I was focusing on other Christians to fellowship with and to make friendships with, I was completely missing the people standing right in front of me. I have found a lot of people that really do appreciate both friendship and an invitation to our house. Even though they are nonbelievers, there is a certain fellowship there. I am not going to look for the first opportunity to pounce on them with some nifty Bible verses, but rather I am just going to be there friend. If God presents an opportunity to share the Truth, then that will be obvious and I will be willing to do so. The last thing I want to do is get in God’s way.

Love your journey, love your heart and love what God is showing you. When you get over that hump of somehow having to earn Father’s affection, you won’t believe the freedom or transformation on the other side. I wish I could just throw you over it, but this is something Father reserves for himself. It happens just like it is happening in you… You see some things, wonder about some other things, keep drawing near, learn to ignore the guilt, follow him, follow him, follow him. And then one day it is different. The old nagging thoughts are gone and a new freedom blossoms. You won’t be able to take credit for it, but simply sit in awe at Father’s working….

If I knew of a way of hurrying that I would give it to you. I guess you can’t rush freedom. He is working at the deepest core of your being to set his life freely there and let it flow out of you. And I love how God is giving you a heart for folks around you! Even unbelievers. Great stuff!

But I do hope you’re enjoying the ride, because it’s going to be tough to get off the coater at this point…

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I Settle Down at Home In You

I don’t often publish the sensational on my site because it tends to encourage people to seek manifestations instead of seeking Jesus, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in genuine expressions of the supernatural becoming normal parts of our lives. A few years ago, one of my new-found friends from New Zealand, John Beaumont, was caught up in a vision of God’s throne. While there he heard a song being sung out of God’s glory. He felt like it was something God wanted to share specifically with Ireland, but I think its application goes far beyond that. One of my friends in Ireland sent me a CD of the song and John’s sharing about how it came to be.

I first heard this song in Ireland a couple of years ago and I am taken by its content and by the path of simple humility God outlines for us to live in him. It’s content reflects much of the content of Philippians 2:5-11. The song is from God’s heart to his people. It his he who wants to ‘settle down at home in you,’ which is as awesome a commentary of John 14:2 as I’ve ever heard. Can you imagine that the God of the universe has made a way so that he can settle down and be at home in you and you in him. What amazing grace!

The last two lines is our response to God’s incredible work of grace. In response to him being at home in us, we have the opportunity to choose to take our place and reign in him. The song goes like this:

The Call

There is a path. There is a way;
An upward path, a narrow way to walk with me.
It’s simply named humility.

A humble heart, an open heart.
A trusting heart, a yielding heart
A loving heart, an eager heart.
A sweet and pure and gentle heart.

A heart like that here’s what I do.
I settle down at home in you.
A God of grace and glory too.
“I take my place and reign and in you.”
“I take my place and reign and in you.”

I have attached a link so you can hear the chorus. It is sung by a group of believers Ireland who were just learning the song, so the quality isn’t great, but I think you will enjoy it just the same.

Whether you hear it or not, let the reality sink in. This Father wants to settle down at home in you, and for you to be at home in him. What could say it any better?

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The Fruitfulness of Body Life

I just got back from a weekend in the Quad Cities of Iowa as the fall foliage was just beginning to burst out. Since we don’t have fall here in southern California I especially enjoyed the show and the cool, crisp air. Even more amazing was what God allowed us to share in those few days together. A group of believers there have been sharing life together in their homes for a couple of years and invited me to spend the weekend with them. Though I’d never met any of them before I felt like family instantly.

Father had led us on similar paths and it was great to share the lessons of the journey together as we got to know each other. And then God sent some other folks to join us. It started out with a neighbor from a home nearby who came to check out what was going on. Though his family had been deeply involved in a local congregation, they had been having second thoughts about that. God had been opening their hearts with a greater hunger to find a more enduring life in him. He was full of questions. The next day he came back and brought eight other friends with him. They had all been struggling with the same issues. The next day they brought even more.

We got to talk in some depth about this amazing life in Christ and how our institutions can so easily distract our eyes from the simplicity and freedom of knowing him and burden us down with activities, obligations and guilt. In just a few days it was amazing to see how much freedom Jesus worked in them and how visible it was in the countenance, voices and the way they related to each other. I have no idea what they’ll end up doing, but I think they see the way a bit more clearly and will be freer to sense Jesus’ voice and follow him however he will lead them.

On the last night one of the brothers from the initial group who had invited me told me he had been focused on the wrong thing. “I have been trying to sell house church, but not any more.” Somehow the weekend had freshly ignited his heart for Jesus and the desire to help others follow him, not get caught up in another system to add to all the other systems people have created. When I got home, I found this note from another brother who is part of that community:

Wow, Wayne! God has really blown me away over the last few days. I feel like I am in the hands of a loving Father who has bigger and better ideas for me than I ever even dreamed for myself. I am standing in awe of how he worked this weekend. Thanks you for helping me see that no matter the situation, I can crawl up into Daddy’s lap and that it is the safest place in the world to be.

I was really taken by what was said in the fellowship about what Jesus is. Jesus does not just have mercy for me, but he is mercy. He does not just have love for me, but he is love. He does not just give me righteousness, but instead is righteousness. He does not just give me life, but instead he is life. I no longer need to ask for these gifts, because he is the gift. All I need to do is turn to and accept him as my all in all. What an incredible concept! This is a huge shift in my paradigm.

I know that you feel that the main reason you were here in the Quad Cities was because of the group that are getting ready to break free from institutionalism. I would not disagree with that, but I know how much the Father has blessed the rest of us through you. I am so grateful that you felt the leading from Father to come and share what I believe to be on his heart for us. Wayne, this fruit will last. This fruit will multiply. You did not just bring us gifts from the Father. Instead, you were the gift.

It’s easy for people on at times like this to get mixed up between what I am doing there and what Father is doing while I’m there, but what greater fruit could we ever expect from our life together as his children? If it draws our hearts to him, encourages us to walk in greater freedom and joy, and opens our lives to help others on this incredible journey, then it is body life indeed!

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Where Transformation Ensues: Hearts Not Structures

A theme seems to be developing in my life over the past few days. First Alex posed a question on one of my previous blogs, Meeting Together. It is a significant question for anyone struggling through how we live out the life of the church today.

I feel so torn because my friends that are leaders of “nondenominational churches” agree very much with the abomination of the denominations, yet things like this are looked at as attacking their ministry as well. For me it is easy to say that, I give up my ministry and I just seek Jesus each day… but my heart goes out to these servants of the Lord who have faithfully served as pastors, etc. While I agree that we should have His church, His way part of me still sees so much good coming from the faithful teaching of the Word by some of these fellowships. Shall we call them all bad? What advice would you give to the young pastor of a Calvary Chapel who is faithfully teaching the word of God to many people each week and lives are really being changed despite the leaven in the church and the disconnectedness?

Then I got an email from Australia this morning after reading my blog on That Lot in Fairlee:

My husband is the pastor of our church in an Australian city. We don’t fit the muld though!! We attract large numbers of disabled, mentally instable, physically wrecked substance abuse ‘parishoners’. We have a core group of about 30 relationally oriented wonderful believers. So yes, we’re impacting our local area with the gospel but we’re not well enough resourced to cope with what we have on our plate. We have a heart to be effective as a church rather than successful. Can you help me to understand how we can make the transition?

Finally I spent some time on the phone today with a staff pastor at an outwardly successful congregation who is beginning to recognize a greater reality in Christ than he has experienced. Concerned about where his passion might take him, he wanted to ask me some questions about how this journey might affect his future and whether God can use the pastor/congregational model so prevalent today.

While I was talking to this brother we hit upon something that I think addresses the other two as well. First, let me say that nothing on this website refers to the abomination of denominations, or that those in pastoral roles are bad. That’s not language I use or encourage. We are caught in an interesting time. I’m convinced that the pastor/congregational/denominational structures we’ve inherited after 2000 years of Christian history are simply at odds with the priorities of the kingdom as Jesus lived it. Many people are starting to see that and hunger for a greater reality than these environments can offer no matter how hard they try.

Our structures seem to propagate religion more easily than the equip people for relationship and in time institutional priorities seem to trump relational ones. Does that mean they are valueless? Should we all leave them or close them all down? Is everyone in them working against the purpose of God in the earth? No! No! And no! It is one thing to recognize the weaknesses of a system and another to judge those involved in them as evil, or not recognize how God still works through our flawed attempts. He’s a pretty gracious God. I got much of my knowledge of Scripture and hunger to know God through those kinds of structures. They just couldn’t fill the hunger they gave me. We can be active in those structures and miss what true life in Christ and in his family is all about because maintaining the machinery exhausts our resources and distracts our passions.

What I hear in all of these contacts this week is an underlying concern: Do we have to figure out congregational life and do it the right way to live deeply in Jesus today? No! No! And no! In fact our preoccupation with the structures, whether we’re embracing them or reacting to them still keeps our eye on the wrong place. The transitions God wants to make in us are not primarily institutional. They are in the heart. As we embrace what he is doing in us how we need to respond on the outside will be clearer.

In the phone call earlier today I sensed that this staff pastor, like so many of us, was trying to sort out so many things that he couldn’t even see yet. Somehow he had become convinced that his life in Jesus would suffer until he got the structural issues figured out. It became obvious to us both how backwards that way of thinking is. Jesus is not waiting for us to get all the structures right.

Every bit of his life is available to you today in your relationship with him. Right now! Right where you are he wants you to know his reality and his work in you. If your mind is constantly trying to answer all the questions about your unknown future you will miss his work in you today. He does not live in your illusions, dreams or fears of the future. He lives in you. Embrace him today. Yield to him. Listen to him. Follow him without ‘taking any thought about tomorrow’ and he’ll be able to do some amazing things in you. Don’t think it awaits the perfect environment. Your submitted heart to him is all the environment he needs and whatever transition he wants to take you through in your activities or structures will rise out of the reality of that relationship. We get the cart before the horse when we’re more focused on our structures than we are on our King and Priest and Friend.

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Treasuring Relationships

At this moment I’m traveling through the Northwest and having an incredible time with a wide variety of folks. The theme of this trip seems to be the value of relationships, in God’s heart for us and hopefully in our hearts for others. Shortly before I left we spent a weekend with some of our oldest and dearest friends. When they left Sunday afternoon, Sara and I reflected on what a treasure that relationship has been over the years. On Thursday morning I got up at 3:30 a.m. to get to Portland 8 hours before I needed to arrive. Why? There’s a brother and sister in Portland that I’ve dearly come to love over the years. We have been together perhaps 4 days total in the six years we’ve known about each other. We just wanted to spend some time together and I came away so encouraged and my view of God broadened by what God is doing in them.

I spent most of my weekend with a traditional fellowship looking to be more relational in their life together. I think it became clear to us all how low a priority building friendships can often become. Even when we do activities or have meetings together, those things can become more important than the friendships that bring such rich treasure to our lives. They can even become a barrier to real relationships instead of a tool to help build them. People can serve together and miss the incredible joy that comes from sharing the journey of Christlikeness together. Unless relationships are a priority, everything else will swallow up our time and energy.

While I was there, two people I’ve never met before traveled an hours journey to spend a few hours with me. A week earlier they had never heard of me until one of them read an article I’d written. They went to my website and saw I was going to be in Salem. They just wanted to meet me. We had an incredible time talking for three hours. One of them even volunteered to drive me to Washington so we could have some more time together. I know I have met some new friends.

Last night I was with a group in Washington where one lady drives 90 minutes one-way to join with folks who want to share the journey together. This is why I think obligation is such a cheap substitute for building relationships. If people don’t desire to be together enough to voluntarily make sacrifices for it, the relationships won’t grow anyway.

One more thing. I spoke with a friend recently with whom I’d shared home group life until I moved away some years ago. They used to have lots of friends and how they’ve lost touch with everyone. We talked about how much work time he’d invested in friendships in the last few years and he admitted it was little. Work, commuting and home responsibilities crowded out the time they used to devote to building friendships. Having Jesus-centered friendship is an investment. If we don’t take time to build relationships we’ll find ourselves alone. That’s no way to live. We serve a relational God and I am convinced that almost everything Jesus does he does through relationships, not programs, models or works. Who is God putting on your heart today? Whether they be believer or unbeliever, invest some time cultivating a relationship with them and see where it goes. You’ll be amazed at what God will do. I find for every 20 or 30 relationships I give myself to, maybe 2 or 3 of those become great friends over time. If you’re not casting the net out there, the fish aren’t going to jump in it by themselves.

Do you remember on 9/11 all those phone calls from workaholic stock traders that were trapped in the World Trade Center? Their last thoughts and words reached out in gut-wrenching agony to affirm their love for spouses, children and parents. No one dies wishing they had worked more or seen more football games. When all is said and done the closest we’ll touch eternal treasure in this world other than God’s presence are the relationships we share with others. Make time for that however God leads you. They don’t just happen!

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Being Real In the Body Of Christ

Nancy from Texas posted something in the Lifestream Community the other day that summed up so well what it means to be real in the body of Christ. Nancy said she pulled together various things she had heard from some of my teachings on some of the CD series that she has been listening to. I think she captured it well and wanted to replay it here:

In a combination of her words and mine, this is what it means to Nancy to be real with other people:

It’s OK to question what I need to question, ask what I need to ask and struggle where I struggle. I’ve learned that I am not rewarded for pretending to be better than I am, but that experiencing the life of God means that I am loved through the ups and downs, hurts and joys, and doubts as well as triumphs. Instead of exploiting people’s shame or need for approval to try and make them better Christians, I encourage people to go to God for healing and restoration from shame so they can experience for themselves the love of God. Instead of loading others up with a list of `shoulds’, I tell people that God is working by “the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus” and his greatest desire is to communicate with them. I talk about learning “how to” listen to God and follow what he puts on their heart even if that means they make a mistake doing so. Instead of trying to change people I urge them to get to know Christ as life because it’s so much fun (and far more effective) watching him change them. Instead of manipulating others to do what I think would benefit me and my definition of God’s will for them. I’m learning how to trust Christ as my resource for what I need.

I find the simple sharing of His life together with other believers is how I am learning to “be” the church instead of just attending church.

Being real doesn’t give permission for people to be rude or obnoxious, to make false accusations or to victimize others with their hurt and pain. But it is the freedom to express themselves as honestly as they can, to ask questions and to follow God’s working in their heart. Anyone who has found an environment where this kind of freedom is encouraged—where they are not judged or rejected for being honest, struggling or making mistakes has found a true piece of the body of Christ. Only in an environment of this kind of freedom do we grow.

And if that’s the kind of relationships we want then it will also be the kind of friendship we extend to others.

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“…Not Forsaking Our Own Assembling Together…” Part 2

This is a continuing story of a confrontation I had with another brother regarding Hebrews 10:25. Before reading on you might want to read yesterday’s blog. When I received his email, I let things settle for a bit so I could respond after some prayer and thought. I didn’t just want to react. Later that day I sent him the following… (His emails are in italics; my responses are inset in blue.)

Wow! That’s quite an accusation you’re throwing around there and one I am convinced is wholly unmerited even from your perspective.

I would have thought that our relationship would have made a way for more communication on this subject before you’d come to such a final conclusion and export it to others. Is relationship something you only talk about, or something you live deeply? Evidently to you I’m someone to use for publicity when you want our book to get out and someone to accuse when we don’t see something exactly the same way. I am honestly amazed that you did not even extend to me the courtesy of a phone call to ensure that you were not misunderstanding my point of view. Did I just dream of our past occasions of fellowship, of being in your home and gathering with believers you love? You might want to take a long, hard look at why you chose this course rather than exhausting every effort to sort things out with a brother first.

And I am not sure what kind of damage you are referring to, but if people in your group or some other are using something I wrote to excuse themselves or encourage others to isolation and independence, then rest assured they are misrepresenting my writings on the subject just as you are doing. If that has hurt the group you gather with in some way, I deeply regret it and would do anything in my power to help bring clarity and healing.

If I had known your first email was the beginning of an Inquisition I would have given you an exhaustive answer to your question so that you would not have had occasion to misunderstand me. I thought we were two brothers talking together and wanted you to understand the emphasis I placed on the Scripture in question for the article you referred to. You used that little bit of information in a hurried email to make sweeping conclusions about my life. Is that really how you want to do this?

As to responding further to you, I’ll admit to being a bit remiss to do so. It has been my experience that once someone moves outside of relational life to make an accusation with such finality as you have chosen to do with such a limited exchange between us on this subject, further conversation becomes counterproductive as anything I say to clarify my view will only be distorted further to embellish an erroneous accusation. But because I believe our past fellowship had some reality in it, I’m going to venture in a little further in hope that God will grant us understanding and renew our friendship in him.

And even if we do end up disagreeing on the interpretation of Hebrews 10, I would recommend you save accusations like ‘false teaching’ for those who diminish the Lordship of Jesus Christ to draw people into their own sphere of power and influence. (Please reread II Peter and Jude.) If you think my article rises to that level of false teaching, then have at it, Brother. I don’t claim to be right about everything I share, but it is as right as I know it to be at the moment. I am a brother still in process and if God has more to show to me on this point, I am more than willing to listen, change and print any needed retractions. You can’t read any of my writings without knowing my firm conviction that we are all people being shaped by Jesus and that none of us has a corner on all God’s truth. That’s why he calls us to grow together. I doubt we have significant differences in the major tenants of our faith or passion for the Lord Jesus and his people.

It would seem to me that our only difference in thought is whether this one Scripture in Hebrews 10 is dealing with the heart inviting us to oneness with the body or whether it obligates us to go to a meeting. Is this ‘assembling’ an act of the heart or an act of the body? Does this sound like a difference worthy of your response? My interpretation includes yours. People living in oneness of Father’s family will gather together. But if it imposes on us an obligation to a meeting then attendance fulfills the objective whether or not people live in the reality of those relationships.

Please don’t misrepresent me on this point, I have never discouraged brothers and sisters from gathering together. Far from it! I encourage it all the time in a variety of settings. But my emphasis in responding to you was that people can assemble in the same geographical setting without assembling in their hearts and live in the reality of Christ’s church in the world. Thus they sit in a meeting but do not openly give their hearts to others. In that case the meeting is a substitute for them, not an expression of the church. If they go home to chase pornography on the Internet or berate their spouse in anger, what good has it done for them to attend a meeting? They are no more a part of the church’s life for having done it.

I don’t disagree that the word in Hebrews 10 is primarily used of meetings, but I want people to see the reality behind those meetings. Besides, that word and its derivatives are also used to talk about something far more relational than mere meetings. Jesus uses it of the chicks gathering under him in the encroaching fire, or of the saints gathering to him at the second coming. The primary emphasis in these uses is not meetings, but the relationship that calls them together. If the church can only be the church when it gathers, then the church in your city is never the church because it never gathers together. How does that make sense? The church is a reality and it expresses itself in whatever locality, as it acts together on his behalf. Thus two brothers going to a prison to share the life of Jesus is the church acting just as much as 20 people meeting in a home studying Scripture. Why not celebrate the church in all its expressions instead of using this verse to obligate people to one specific form that you embrace? Or am I missing something here?

I think your interpretation creates far more difficulties than mine. If we fulfill Hebrews 10 by just attending a meeting, which meetings are those and how often (daily, weekly, monthly)? I think we’d both agree that there are many meetings this weekend in your city that will claim to be the church that won’t reflect even a smidgen of God’s life or his priorities. Does going to one of those meetings fulfill Hebrews 10? I can’t see how you’d think that. In fact I think obligation is a funny way to try to work with people in the aftermath of the New Covenant and that may be where we really differ. I am convinced that Jesus changes us from the inside out, not the outside in and I would rather equip someone with a passion for body life that allows them to experience its reality than to get them merely committed to a meeting. Even the context of Hebrews 10 is not just getting to a meeting, but living lives that encourage and stimulate others in knowing him. My point is simply this, and I can’t imagine why you would disagree with it: If we give people a heart for Christ’s church you will never need to obligate them to meet together because you won’t be able to keep them apart. For these people obligation is a cheap substitute.

I suspect you see value in committing someone to a meeting as his or her fulfillment of church life. If so, we do see that a bit differently but I don’t see any evidence for that in the example or teachings of Jesus who never prescribed a set kind of meeting that qualified as church. I do see him aff

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Lifestream Beginning New Online Community

Today with fear and trembling about how much time this might cost me, I’m beginning a Yahoo Group to help people who frequent Lifestream to meet and encourage each other on similar journeys of being transformed by God’s life. Lifesream Journeys, is designed to provide a forum to discuss the issues, insights and concerns of people seeking to grow in an intimate friendship with God, authentic relationships with other believers, and relevant ways to touch the world. This list is a companion to Wayne’s writings and a place for people to share their stories, lessons they are learning on the journey and to encourage each other to follow Jesus more closely. Hopefully it will help like-hearted people from around the world to connect with each other.

This list is not to argue or debate issues, though respectful disagreement is OK. Contentious people will be warned once then dropped from the list.

Fair warning, Yahoo will be adding commercial content around the messages that are exchanged and we have no control over what those might contain. If it becomes a problem, we’ll have to sort out another option.

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The Simple Power of Body Life

It’s always a wonderful reminder for me to spend some time among some people who meet in a conventional setting and yet live the life of the kingdom. I’ve been with my dad and mom over the last week helping them through my Dad’s open-heart surgery and some of his recovery. (He is doing incredibly well, by the way and it was a real blessing to see him get back his sense of humor and a lot of his strength before Sara and I had to head home.)

They are part of a more traditional congregation at least in the forms they use. That group of believers is almost a fourth of the population of the mountain community in which they reside. Though they do a lot of things in conventional ways, including Sunday services and vacation Bible schools, I love most the relational life they share together. During their Sunday gatherings they provide plenty of open time for people to share what they are learning, where they need prayer and how God has moved in their lives.

What I like most is how much they care for each other all week long. When my dad had surgery there must have been 25 people in the waiting room with my mom. Throughout the week they continued to show up at the hospital and at their home offering whatever assistance we needed. These weren’t people assigned to ‘hospital visitation’, but those with whom my parents have become good friends since moving to the area 12 years ago. Watching my parents brighten up whenever someone came through the door was demonstration enough of the relationships they share.

The congregation has a heart that goes far beyond their own program or needs. When a local child needed a special restroom the local school district had no funds to provide, instead of suing the district they got together and built the restroom for them. The man they call their pastor is unconventional to say the least. He was a construction contractor among that fellowship before he agreed to take his present task. He’s not on any kind of power trip, except to see God’s power change lives. He doesn’t lord over people, but serves them with all God has given him. Little of his time goes to maintaining the institutional machine. During the week you’re more likely to find him serving the community by intervening in the practical needs of others, most of which don’t attend the congregation and aren’t even believers yet. He’ll crawl into just about any situation with anyone and see what God will do to touch people. And he is a blessing to the wider body of Christ. Over the past few months he has helped crisis pregnancy centers throughout California get fitted with MRI equipment.

Whether they are walking together through a medical crisis, intervening with an alcoholic, sending people and money to help build up the church in an impoverished city in Mexico or serving each other or their community in some other practical way, they continually demonstrate the heart of Jesus by serving those in need and loving the people God puts in their path. For those of us who enjoy more relational forms of church life, it is good to remember that God shows up in all kinds of places. He is far less concerned with the form we use than whether or not we reflect his heart for others. I know many home groups that could learn a lot from their outward focus and willingness to serve others, as God would give them away without thinking what’s in it for them. Now that’s body life! And whether you find it in a group like this or with two or three over a cup of coffee, it’s worth celebrating. Unfortunately, it’s all too rare these days!

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Don’t Give Up In the Middle of the Story!

What a difference a few weeks can make. Here’s a bit of an exchange I had with a brother from back east. God had been doing a work in his heart that was drawing him closer to his Father, but at the same time he found himself increasingly isolated from the friends he used to share congregational life with. He was feeling lonely and desperate for fellowship.

In April he wrote me sharing how lonely he felt:

Your response to my statements regarding loneliness and intensity are no surprise. I admit that I have always struggled with insecurity. I probably over compensate resulting in the intensity thing. I was an only child and adopted and have always battled feelings of rejection. A lot of all of this is probably just plain old self pity. I always have to come back to the promises of my Father. I must admit a certain amount of envy of those who seem to have close relationships.

I hope that I can come to a place of balance in this security thing. On the one hand I am so afraid of developing relationships because I don’t want to get hurt and on the other hand I often push way too hard trying to achieve them. I seem to go from one extreme to the other. I have many weaknesses and behave very foolishly at times. I glad He doesn’t reject weak and foolish people.

At the time I wrote him back:

God wants to be your first relationship, the one that meets all other needs for it. You may be focusing so much on a godly man in your area that you are missing the other points of relationship he is giving you just now. I love what he is doing in your family and would encourage you just to enjoy that for now. When you least expect it (and I also think when we stop looking for it on our terms), you’ll find the relationships you’re looking for. We really can work too hard and unintentionally subvert the thing we desire. God knows what you need and more importantly how he is going to provide for it. But first, I think he wants to be enough for you. If you never met another believer with your hunger for as long as you lived, his presence would be enough for you.

I’m praying that God will sort this out in you. You’ve not been outside that long, Bro, though I’m sure you’ve felt like an ‘outsider’ for a long time. But God will bring about the relationship he desires when he is ready. Don’t think connecting to someone thousands of miles away, or getting linked to a ‘network’ is going to resolve all of that. I meet scores of lonely people in ‘networks’, because man’s kind of networking doesn’t work either.

It’s amazing what has happened sense. Over the last few days I’ve watched with joy as more of the story has unfolded. God has connected him with some wonderful people in his region of the country and is now bringing those connections closer:

Remember how I said a few weeks ago that Father might connect me with someone right across the street. We’ll, the connections are getting closer. Today, by e-mail, I met another dear brother. He lives ten miles away in the city where my old (traditional fellowship) is.

It only demonstrates how great Father is at taking care of His own. His faithfulness is so awesome and so much greater than ours. I am seeing that it is His faithfulness that is the basis of the new covenant, not ours. We wouldn’t have even a mustard seed of faith if not for His marvelous gift. So why struggle to try to work up faith or anything for that matter…. I am somewhat overwhelmed by His goodness to me of late. I can’t think of anything or anyone that I would rather be overwhelmed by. His presence is slowly consuming me, a Fire that burns but does not destroy. I just sit in awe at His feet and see how awesome He really is. Who could not love, with all of their being, a God like Him. I struggle trying to find Him for so many years and He was there all the time. It is so awesome that He permits us to be part of the process of revealing Himself to others, to use us as His loving arms and as His feet to go into all the world. As they see our devoted love to Him and to one another more and more will come and eat at His table.

Four months later and so much has changed. From the despair of loneliness to overwhelming gratefulness at that which God has provided. Sometimes it can really help for us to remember that on any given day we’re in the middle of a story. The last chapter has yet been written. The story will still unfold and God will have incredible things ahead that we can’t quite see today. In this process you’ll find yourself dying to your own agenda so that you can embrace God’s way of doing things. That’s where the life and joy of this kingdom reside, not in getting our wants fulfilled our way.

So, keep leaning into Jesus. Let him be enough for you and watch what he will unfold in his time.

In unrelated developments, we were able to bring my dad, home from the hospital today. He is continuing to heal in textbook fashion and for that we are grateful to God and those who have held him in your prayers. His story is still unfolding as well.

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