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Some Wonderful Things This Week

I couldn’t help but share a few loose ends hanging around my desk this morning:

My listening audience is expanding. I got this from the mother of a fourteen-month old:

Our son loves listening to you read the Jake book. He just sticks his thumb in his mouth and stares out the car window. Too cute. I wish you could see it. He knows a grandpa voice when he hears it!

Hilarious!

Drew Marshall, host of The Drew Marshall Show is a talk show host in Canada who is a real outside-the-box thinker. I game him a copy of The Shack a year ago and asked if he’d look at it. He finally got around to it and sent me the following endorsement this week:

“It took me a year to read this book simply because I had never heard of the author. Publishers send me 2-3 books every week wanting to have their authors as guests on my show. I really thought that this book was just another book. Trust me folks – IT’S NOT! Usually, because of my spiritual gift of pessimism, when bandwagons come along I usually just take a step back and let them go right on by. However, when it comes to The Shack, I’m not only on the stupid bandwagon, I keep asking the driver to stop and pick up all of my friends. Sad to admit but I can’t remember the last time a book, let alone a work of fiction, had this much of a healing impact on my life. As Brennan Manning says, “healing our image of God heals our image of ourselves.” Something is going on with The Shack and all I know is that it ain’t because of some multi-million dollar, well oiled publishing campaign.”

Paul, the author of The Shack will be on his show today. You can listen to it on-line or in the archives at their site. Also the Nashville newspaper did an article on Paul and The Shack this week.

And finally, some of you know that I spent two days this week in New York City with Brad as we were being courted by two of the most powerful publishing companies in the world. They would like to help us take The Shack to level of distribution that we could not begin to duplicate here, with a partnership agreement that allows us to control the content as well as share the entire process of how this book finds its way into our culture. Our logo will stay on the book and they also want to work with us to release some of Wayne’s titles at a wider level and to publish other books we feel have an important message to our culture. We were blessed that God would open such doors at the highest level of national dialog with no one wanting to change the message and content of people thinking outside the stale boxes of organized religion.

We sat in conference rooms with the top executives of these organizations as they shared with us how this book had touched their lives and how they wanted to help this find a broader audience than we had found. One executive told me in a personal conversation that if they had released this book a year ago by an unknown author with such a unique story, and would have sold 400,000 books in the first 10 months with all their sales and marketing forces behind it, they would have called it phenomenal. “What you people have done with THE SHACK, without any of that is well beyond phenomena.”

Of course we know that we’ve had an even more potent sales and marketing forces, A God who appears to have breathed on this book and the word of mouth of folks like you who kept passing this book along. Last week we showed up as #47 in USA Today’s Best-Selling book list. This week we jumped up to #33. We have almost 500,000 in print and still have not reached our first-year anniversary.

We have some huge decisions to face in the next few days that will affect not only the future of The Shack, but my books as well and how my time and schedule will be altered by new responsibilities. We need God to give us direction at every turn, take advantage of those doors that are his and to say no to those who are not. While the decision is incredibly important, it is not a choice between good and better. It is a choice between awesome and awesome. This is the opposite of voting in presidential elections where you have to choose the lessor of two evils. We couldn’t go wrong either way here. The level of respect and the open doors they have extended us for other things we want to do is shocking. We’re not blind as to what they want on their side of it, but we’re also amazed at how committed they were to the passion of this book and our other ideas to help people connect with the amazing love of the Father and think beyond the rigid lines of Christianity-as-religion in the 21st Century. Your prayers in all of this would be most appreciated.

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Loving the World Freely

A couple of nights ago a few of us were talking in a home outside Charlotte, NC about giving, and how we can live it out more relationally rather than paying an obligation many people call a tithe. Someone brought up something they had seen a couple of days before—a single mom confronted with a need for car repairs she couldn’t afford. He thought of helping, but had no idea what to do. We talked about possible options of helping people just like that as we cross them in our lives.

Just yesterday, I got the following email from him. It’s amazing what Father does, isn’t it?

At the beginning of this year I asked the Lord to show me what it means for Him to be my Daddy. I wanted to experience His love in the way that I knew He wanted for me. I didn’t know what that meant really. I just wanted more than I was experiencing. A month later I was sharing this desire to know God as my Daddy with two close friends. Immediately they looked at each other and said, in unison, “The Shack.” They gave me a copy that they, by pure coincidence, happened to have with them. I devoured it in two days.

Approximately two weeks later, I left the ministry in a fit of what I’ll call disgust. I immediately went to my friend who gave me So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore. I cannot express to you how Father used that book to change my life.

I now believe that Father has answered my request to know Him as my Daddy. I could really relate to the great sadness that Mack experienced. I have experienced a similar thing myself for most of my life. Even though I know I have a long way to go, I have peace. I know that Father is at work in my life. My wife has seen the difference in me. I am excited about my growing love relationship with Father. Thank you for allowing Him to speak through you so clearly and with such love.

I wanted to share something else with you. Do you remember me talking about a lady at the car dealership who was upset because her repair was more than she could afford?

On Wednesday, I took my wife’s van to get the oil changed at the Chrysler dealership. I was in the waiting room when the service manager came in. He sat down next to a lady and began to talk to her. I didn’t hear what he said, but I saw tears welling up in her eyes. I heard her say, “Oh no! I don’t have that much money.” The two of them got up and went into the service area. I immediately said a prayer for her. A few minutes later, she walked past the waiting area with tears streaming down her face. I didn’t get to say a word to her.

She was on my mind the rest of the day and night. As I prayed for her, the Lord clearly told me to “meet her need.” Not knowing what that need was, I went to the dealership yesterday morning and asked. She needs a total rebuild of her transmission. I gave the service manager my name and phone number and asked him to have her call me.

An hour later, she called. We have since had 3 wonderful conversations about God, how much He loves her and how He wants to have an intimate, loving relationship with her. There is no way for me to be able to express what took place during those calls. I can share with you that she told me that she has no family to turn to except for an aunt who has yet to return her call. She has no way to meet this need. Wednesday night she cried until she had no more tears. At some point, she look down at her wrist where she saw the bracelet a friend had given her. This bracelet said, “Miracles Happen.” She tore the bracelet off and threw it on the floor thinking to herself, “I don’t think so.” All I can say is that a woman who thought God had abandoned her now knows that He really does love her.

Anyway, I wanted to share that with you because you had a part in it. As a result of the truth you share, I am experiencing Father’s love and that love is beginning to spill out onto those around me.

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Is THE SHACK Heresy?

We knew it would happen eventually. Frankly we thought it would happen far sooner and in far greater quantity than we have seen to date. But we knew The Shack was edgy enough to prompt some significant backlash, which is why so many publishing companies didn’t want to take it on at the beginning.

I never thought everyone was going to love this book. Art is incredibly subjective as to whether a story and style are appealing. I have no problem with a spirited discussion of some of the theological issues raised in The Shack. The books I love most are the ones that challenge my theological constructs and invite a robust discussion among friends, whether I agree with everything in them or not in the end,. That is especially true of a work of fiction where people will bring their own interpretations of the same events or conversations. I never view a book as all good or all bad. It’s like eating chicken. Enjoy what you think is the meat and toss what you think are the bones.

What is surprising, however, is the hostile tone of false accusation and the conspiracy theories that some are willing to put on this book. Some have even warned others not to read it or they will be led into deception. It saddens me that people want to use a book like this to polarize God’s family, whether it’s overenthusiastic reader thrusting it in someone’s face telling them they ‘must read’ this book, or when people read their own theological agendas into a work, then denounce it as heresy.

If you’re interested, read it for yourself. Don’t let someone else do your thinking for you. If it helps convey the reality of Jesus to you, great! If all you can see is sinister motives and false teaching in it, then put it aside. I don’t have time to give a point-by-point rebuttal to the reviews I’ve read, but I would like to make some comments on some of the issues that have come up since I’m getting way too many emails asking me what I think of some of the questions they raise. I’ll also admit at the outset, that I’m biased. Admittedly, I’m biased. I was part of a team who worked with the author on this manuscript for over a year and am part of the company formed to print and distribute this book. But I’m also well acquainted with the purpose and passions of this book.

What do I think? I tire of the self-appointed doctrine police, especially when they toss around false accusations like ‘new age conspiracy’, ‘counterfeit Jesus’ or ‘heresy’ to promote fear in people as a way of advancing their own agenda. What many of them don’t realize is that research actually shows that more people will buy a book after reading a negative review than they do after reading a positive one. It piques their curiosity as to why someone would take so much time to denounce someone else’s book.

But such reviews also confuse people who are afraid of being seduced into error and for those I think the false accusations demand a response. Let me assure any of you reading this that all three of us who worked on this book are deeply committed followers of Jesus Christ who have a passion for the Truth of the Scriptures and who have studied and taught the life of Jesus over the vast majority of our lifetimes. But none of us would begin to pretend that we have a complete picture of all that God is or that our theology is flawless. We are all still growing in our appreciation for him and our desire to be like him, and we hope this book encourages you to that process as well. In the end, this says the best stuff we know about God at this point in our journeys. Is it a complete picture of him? Of course not! Who could put all that he is into a little story like this one? But if it is a catalyst to get thousands of people to talk about theology—who God is and how he makes himself known in the world—we would be blessed.

This is a story of one believer’s brokenness and how God reached into that pain and pulled him out and as such is a compelling story of God’s redemption. The pain and healing come straight from a life that was broken by guilt and shame at an incredibly deep level and he compresses into a weekend the lessons that helped him walk out of that pain and find life in Jesus again.

That said, the content of this book does take a harsh look at how many of our religious institutions and practices have blinded people to the simple Gospel and replaced it with a religion of rules and rituals that have long ceased to reflect the Lord of Glory. Some will disagree with that assessment and the solutions this book offers, and the reviews that do so honestly merit discussion. But those who confuse the issues by making up their own back-story for the book, or ascribing motives to its publication without ever finding out the truth, only prove our point.

Here are some brief comments on the major issues that have been raised about The Shack:

Does the book promote universalism?

Some people can find a universalist under every bush. This book flatly states that all roads do not lead to Jesus, while it affirms that Jesus can find his followers wherever they may have wandered into sin or false beliefs. Just because he can find followers in the most unlikely places, does not validate those places. I don’t know how we could have been clearer, but people will quote portions out of that context and draw a false conclusion.

Does it devalue Scripture?

Just because we didn’t put Scriptural addresses with their numbers and colons at every allusion in the story, does not mean that the Bible isn’t the key source in virtually every conversation Mack has with God. Scriptural teachings and references appear on almost every page. They are reworded in ways to be relevant to those reading the story, but at every point we sought to be true to the way God has revealed himself in the Bible except for the literary characterizations that move the story forward. At its core the book is one long Bible study as Mack seeks to resolve his anger at God.

Is this God too nice?

Others have claimed that the God of The Shack is simply too nice, or having him in humorous human situations trivializes him. Really? Who wants to be on that side of the argument? For those who think this God is too easy, please tell me in what way does he let Mack off on anything? He holds his feet to the fire about every lie in his mind and every broken place in his heart. I guess what people these critics cannot see is confrontation and healing inside a relationship of love and compassion. This is not the angry and tyrannical God that religion has been using for 2000 years to beat people into conformity and we are not surprised that this threatens the self-proclaimed doctrine police.

One reviewer even thought this passage from The Shack was a mockery of the true God: “I’m not a bully, not some self-centered demanding little deity insisting on my own way. I am good, and I desire only what is best for you. You cannot find that through guilt or condemnation….” That wasn’t mocking God but a view of God that seems him as a demanding, self-centered tyrant? The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ revealed himself as the God who would lay down his life for us to redeem us to himself.

The words, “I don’t want slaves to do my will; I want brothers and sisters who will share life with me,” are simply a reflection of John 15:15. Unfortunately those who tend toward legalism among us have no idea how much more completely Jesus transforms us out of a relationship of love, than we could ever muster in our gritted-teeth obedience. This is at the heart of the new covenant—that love will fulfill the law, where human effort cannot.

Does it distort or demean the Trinity?

One of the concerns expressed about The Shack is that it presents the Trinity outside of a hierarchy. In fact many religious traditions think they find their basis for hierarchical organizations in what they’ve assumed about the Trinity. To look at the Trinity as a relationship without the need for command and control is one of the intriguing parts of this story. If they walk in complete unity, why would a hierarchy be needed? They live in love and honor each other. While in the flesh Jesus did walk in obedience to the Father as our example, elsewhere Scripture speaks of their complete unity, love and glory in relating to each other. Different functions need not imply a different status.

This extends in other ways to look at how healed people can relate to each other inside their relationship with God that defines authority and submission in ways most are not used to, but that are far more consistent with what we see in the early believers and in the teaching of Scripture. It is also true of many believers around the world who are learning to experience the life of Father’s family without all the hierarchical maintenance and drama that has plagued followers of Christ since the third century.

People may see this differently and find this challenging, if only because it represents some thought they have not been exposed to before. Here we might be better off having a discussion instead of dragging out the ‘heretic’ label when it is unwarranted.

Does it leave out discussions about church, salvation and other important aspects of Christianity?

This is some of the most curious complaints I’ve ever read. This is the story about God making himself available to one of his followers who is being swallowed up by tragedy and his crisis of faith in God’s goodness over it. This is not a treatise on every element of theological study. Perhaps we should have paused in the story to have an altar call, or perhaps we should have drug a pipe organ into the woods and enlisted a choir to hold a service, but that was not the point.

Is this a feminist God?

The book uses some characterizations of God to mess with the religious stereotypes only to get people to consider God as he really is, not how we have reconstituted him as a white, male autocrat bent on religious conformity. There are important reasons in the story why God takes the expressions he does for Mack, which underlines his nature to meet us where we are, to lead us to where he is. While Jesus was incarnated as man, God as a spirit has no gender, even though we fully embrace that he has taken on the imagery of the Father to express his heart and mind to us. We also recognize Scripture uses traditional female imagery to help us understand other aspects of God’s person, as when Jesus compares himself to a hen gathering chicks, or David likens himself to a weaned child in his mother’s arms.

Has it touched people too deeply?

Some reviewers point to Amazon.com reviews and people who have claimed it had a transforming effect on their spiritual lives as proof of its demonic origin. Please! How absurd is that? Do we prefer books that leave people untouched? This book touches lives because it deals with God in the midst of pain in an honest, straightforward way and because for many this is the first time they have seen the power of theology worked out inside a relationship with God himself.

Does The Shack promote Ultimate Reconciliation (UR)?

It does not. While some of that was in earlier versions because of the author’s partiality at the time to some aspects of what people call UR, I made it clear at the outset that I didn’t embrace UR as sound teaching and didn’t want to be involved in a project that promoted it. In my view UR is an extrapolation of Scripture to humanistic conclusions about our Father’s love that has to be forced on the biblical text.

Since I don’t believe in UR and wholeheartedly embrace the finished product, I think those who see UR here, either positively or negatively are reading into the text. To me that was the beauty of the collaboration. Three hearts weighed in on the theology to make it as true as we could muster. The process also helped shape our theologies in honest, protracted discussions. I think the author would say that some of that dialog significantly affected his views. This book represents growth in that area for all of us. Holding him to the conclusions he may have embraced years earlier would be unfair to the ongoing process of God in his life and theology.

That said, however, I’m not afraid to have that discussion with people I regard as brothers and sisters since many have held that view in the course of theological history. Also keep in mind that the heretic hunters lump many absurd notions into what they call UR, but when I actually talk to those people partial to some view of ultimate reconciliation they do not endorse all the absurdities ascribed to them. This is a heavily nuanced discussion with UR meaning a lot of different things to different people. For myself, I am convinced that Jesus is someone we have to accept through repentance and belief in this age to participate in his life.

Throughout The Shack Mack’s choices are in play, determining what he will let God do in his life through their encounter. He is no victim of God’s process. He is a willing participant at every juncture. And even though Papa says ‘He is reconciled to all men” he also notes that, “not all men are reconciled to me.”

Is the author promoting the emergent movement?

This guilt-by-association tactic is completely contrived. Neither the author, nor Brad and I at Windblown have ever been part of the emergent conversation. Some of their bloggers have written about the book, but we have not had any significant contact with the leaders of that movement and they have not been the core audience that has embraced this book.

That said I have met many people in the emergent conversation that have proved to be brothers and sisters in the faith. While I’m not nuts about all they do, a lot of the statements made about them by critics are as false as what some say about The Shack. They do deeply embrace the Scriptures. As I see it they are not trying to re-invent Christianity, but trying to communicate it in ways that captures a new generation. While I don’t agree with many of the conclusions they’re sorting through at the moment, they are not raving humanists. I have found them passionate seekers of the Lord Jesus Christ, who are asking some wonderful questions about God and how he makes himself known in us.

Does The Shack promote new age philosophy or Hinduism?

Amazingly some people have made assumptions about some of the names to think there is some eastern mysticism here, but when you hear how Paul selected the names he did it wasn’t to make veiled references to Hinduism, black Madonnas, or anything else. It was to uncover facets of God’s character that are clear in the Scriptures.

It’s amazing how much people will make up to indulge their fantasies and falsely label something to fit their own conclusions. Some have even insisted that Mack flying in his dreams was veiled instructions in astral travel. Absolutely absurd! Has this man never read fiction, or had a dream? Just because someone screams there is a demon under that bush, doesn’t mean there is.

* * * * *

We realize this would be a challenging read for those who see no difference between the religious conditioning that underlies Christianity as it is often presented in the 21st Century and the simple, powerful life in Christ that Jesus offered to his followers. Our hope was to help people see how the Loving Creator can penetrate our defenses and lead us to healing. Our prayer is that through this book people will see the God of the Bible as Jesus presented him to be—an endearing reality who wants to love us out of our sin and bondage and into his life. This is a message of grace and healing that does not condone or excuse sin, but shows God destroying it through the dynamic relationship he wants with each of his children.

We realize folks will disagree. We appreciate the interaction of those who have honest concerns and questions. Those who have been captured by this story are encouraged to search the Scriptures to see if these things are so and not trust us or the ravings of those who misinterpret this book, either threatened by its success, or those who want to ride on it to push their own fear-based agenda.

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It’s the People

When I get home from a trip people always ask me how it went. I never know how to answer that question, because each trip is layered with so many experiences and trying to sum them all up in a word or two is nearly impossible. I think questions like, “What was your most interesting conversation?” “Who did you meet that surprised you?” “What did you all talk about in Pratt?” might lead to more fascinating conversations.

This last trip to Kansas is a good case in point. There were moments when I spoke in more formal settings—a congregation, a youth group and even a morning session in a homeless shelter. I spent many evenings in long conversations with small groups of people sorting out what it means to live deeply in Jesus in this day. And I had nearly countless one-on-one conversations with people at critical crossroads in their journey. Looking back, the days seem so rich with dozens of exchanges and recognitions of Father’s hand working in people’s lives.

What a change from the way I used to travel, where the focus was always on an event, usually where I was presenting a seminar or lecture to silent listeners! Most of the exchanges I had were surface questions that an attendee might ask a presenter. Too many times after the event the dialog with organizers rarely got back to the life of Jesus and instead got lost in sports, weather or politics. I don’t mind discussing those things too, but true spiritual hunger goes beyond the meetings to continue to share his life together. That’s what I like now. Each trip seems like an ever-running conversation with different ones spilling in and out of it as they have time and in doing so they connect with others in their area and hopefully connect with Father as well.

On this trip, I had lots of opportunity to covet. I met two people who had their own airplanes, one who had flown a small plane for 50 years off of a grass strip 75 yards from his house. The other an air traffic controller with the FAA, one of the things I’d always wanted to be. Though I did get my pilot’s license at 17, I rarely used it past 25 and now only fly when others take me up. The hobby was just too expensive for my lifestyle.

And there was lots of humor. Laughter makes us all more human, reduces our pretensions and opens the door for deeper conversations ahead. I think God must laugh a lot since he gave us such a rich appreciation for humor. I reconnected with old friends and made some new ones. In one home I stayed in the Miss America Bedroom, where she had stayed 11 years before and there was a plaque on the wall.

In the end now, it is all about the people for me. What did God do? Who did he touch or encourage to make another step in their journey? There are so many people today looking beyond the walls of traditional religious obligation who hunger to know the Living God and experience his freedom and transformation.

It’s good now to be home four days, before leaving again over the weekend. Then I’ll be back two before heading out for 12 to Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina. There’s more people to meet, more lives to encourage, more grace to celebrate. I hope you’re celebrating his grace wherever you happen to be in the world today and with whomever God has places in your path…

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I Couldn’t Let You Go Through This Alone

That may just be the essence of community: I couldn’t let you go through this alone. The first time I heard those words it was a good friend who walked beside me through the most painful experience of my life. We had share some wonderful times together, but then he withdrew for a season from our relationship. I was so blessed we reconnected in the midst of my trial.

One day I asked him why he had withdrawn for a time. His answer? “I could see you were going to get hurt badly and I just couldn’t bear to watch it.”

I understood his comment. He had been through something similar and I knew how painful it was for him to walk with me through mine. I laughed, “But you’re hear now at the worst of it.”

“I know,” he smiled. “I couldn’t let you go through this alone.”

I don’t know a better definition for community. It isn’t always fun and games, but love will not let people go through their darkest days alone. As hard as it may be for us to be alongside, our passion for the person won’t let us be anywhere else.

I was reminded of that recently as I read Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. It’s an old book I’ve wanted to read for a long time. It’s about a professor dying of ALS, and a former student who comes for the last chapter of his life. It’s lessons from the brink of death and many of them are breathtaking. Even though this man was not a passionate believer, he’d come to believe some things that are pretty consistent with the life of Jesus:

So many people walk around with meaningless life, they seem half a sleep, even when they are busy doing things, they think they are important, this is because they are chasing the wrong things, the way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to something that gives you purpose and meaning.

And this:

Love wins, love always wins.

I loved the book, enjoyed the lessons, but was most touched by this former student who would come and spend every Tuesday with his former professor in the last stages of his disease. He learned a lot, but also gave a lot—friendship on the brink of death.

At my brother’s funeral a number of years ago one of his best friends stood up at his funeral and said that he couldn’t bear to visit my brother as he suffered the final stages of multiple sclerosis. He wanted to remember him as he was, not in his weakened condition. When he was needed the most he couldn’t bear to go. How sad!

The meaning of compassion is right in the word itself. It means to “come to passion” and passion in the old English meant suffering. It means to run to suffering. To be there at the worst because someone we love needs us there. I love that. A good picture of that are the 9/11 rescue workers who were running into the World Trade Center when everyone else was trying to run out. Compassion means being there when it’s incredibly difficult because we just can’t imagine letting someone we love go through it by themselves.

No one enjoys walking people through dark valleys or through painful reactions, but love says, I’ll be there for you. I may not know what to do or what to say. But I just can’t let you go through this alone!

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An Amazing Story of Father’s Redemption

Well, Sara and I are off to the airport and an overnight flight to Washington, DC where we’ll attend the President’s Prayer Breakfast with the whole Shack team as well as hook up with other brothers and sisters in the area. It promises to be a lot of fun and all the more because Sara is going too!

But I’m going to leave you with a wonderful surprise. Some letters I get just blow me away. ‘Melanie’ sent me her story last week and I think you’ll be blessed to read of the depths of pain that bondage can drag us into and Father’s amazing ability to find us even in those depths. (I have changed some of the details to disguise her identity)

I am writing this email to tell you how much I enjoy all of Lifestream and listen to you and Brad on The God Journey podcast every week. I love the freedom that I am able to live in even when those around me do not understand what it is!

I look at my life today and realized how blessed I am and I give all the glory to Father. I have a beautiful daughter. I have an awesome career ahead of me! I am in the best shape physically that I have ever been. I have an awesome family – a mom and dad who have always been there for me – even when I didn’t want them to be. They were wise and loving enough to give me the freedom to learn the hard way but were there to help me heal when I discovered how hard the life I chose was. I have an older brother who is my bestest friend! This life of mine today is so different than the way it was headed just over 3 years ago. Let me start at the beginning.

I am a US Navy brat! My dad was Navy; Uncles were Navy, a Grandfather in Navy! Brother is in Navy! I saw through my eyes how perfect those people were. And with this all around me, I put expectations on myself that I could never achieve! Don’t ask me how I did that – I really don’t know! I was never satisfied or content with myself no matter what I did or how well I did it. I worked hard in school academically, socially and extra-curricularly. I was involved in gymnastics, dance, swimming and captain of the cheerleading drill team. I strove to achieve and I did – but it was never good enough! It was never good enough for me!

Unfortunately, in 11th grade, I started going out with a guy who lived two lives. He was also six years older than me. He was heavily involved in the drug trade in Southern California. I ended up getting pregnant. Out of the shame, I ran away thinking I would get kicked out anyway. Thinking I would be able to move in with my boyfriend, I ran to him and found out he didn’t want a pregnant teenager on his hands. I left there with a broken heart and more shame and disgust with myself. I stayed with some friends and was basically giving myself away to whoever would have me. At six and a half months pregnant, I was gang raped and beat and left for dead. In and out of consciousness, my daughter was delivered prematurely. She was three months old before I came to consciousness enough to realize I was a mommy.

My parents were there to help me. I didn’t feel I deserved their help, so I escaped with my daughter on my own again. I answered an advertisement for a talent agency that was looking for girls with dancing talent and an open mind. I went to the interview and was told I would be perfect for the performing they had in mind. The word perfect stuck in my brain! Something I was perfect for! I took the two-week crash course on being an exotic dancer. The first few performances were raw and hard. I only had to go topless and in a g-string, but it was so far removed from normal behavior for me, I was shocked at myself to how I loved the attention I received. Within three months, I had clubs asking for me by name. Within six months, I had become a feature dancer. In the area, this was simply unheard of. All this attention fueled my need to be the best. I was beginning to make lots of money and lots of perks. I was able to hire a nanny for my daughter who traveled with us all over North America.

I began to get pressured to perform in films. I refused these requests. The pressure intensified until it came to a point where I hated what I was doing. Unbeknownst to me, I was actually in breach of contract because I was refusing to perform in porn films. One night I was visited by a couple of gentlemen who informed me that they basically owned me. I didn’t know what to do. I finally said yes to do a film with them, but the first day of filming, I couldn’t do it. I was beat up pretty badly by my ‘agent’.

I took a contract to perform in Canada for a while to escape the pressure. My daughter was with me and we were having a good time, money was coming in good and I was becoming well known. My agent informed me that I could appease people by posing for some magazines. When I found out I did not have to have sex to be in the magazine, just full nudity, I agreed. In my mind at the time, that was far better. I did eight photo shoots, which ended up being in euro-mags. Little did I realize, I was falling deeper into the pit.

Just after my 22nd birthday, I was coming offstage at a club in Vancouver Canada, when these three girls about my age came up to me with a dozen roses and a basket of personal care products. They gave it to me with a message of “Jesus loves you and so do we.” I burst into tears and escaped to my dressing room. I had grown up in a church going home and new the truths in the Bible. This event flooded my brain with all the fond memories I had as a child learning about God and Jesus from my mom and dad. I immediately got on the phone and called home. They told me I was always welcomed home!

I started packing our belongings when my agent came into my hotel room. He informed me that I cannot just walk away from these contracts. He told me basically I had to fulfill every last detail to their satisfaction before they would consider releasing me. I was trapped. I continued performing but hating it once again. I found escape in chatting with some wonderful people in Christian chat rooms. Though I didn’t know anyone really, I poured out my heart and circumstances to a few people who began to pray for me. In the meantime, these three girls continued coming to this club to see me. I agreed to go for a coffee with them. They just shared the love of the Father with me and how much He loves me. They said they knew I had a relationship with God by how I responded to their first visit.

At this same time, my brother discovered where I was and what was going on. He and some people of the congregation he was involved with assembled enough finances to free me from my obligations. I was free!

So much has happened since then even. I took courses to get my personal fitness trainer certifications and began working. My daughter and I got to really know one another. I call her my miracle child. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know if I would still be here. I don’t even know why I told you all of this.

Anyway, I didn’t start going to “church” right away. I just read the gospels over and over again discovering who Jesus is. Wow! He is something else. I am so glad I did that as I dont know if I could have loved the God of the old testament without first seeing who he is in Jesus. Anyway, I started visiting “church” congregations to become totally confused and frustrated. I became anxious and unsure of who I was as a Christian, or if I even was one. My brother had recently visited your website and emailed me the link. Wow! Thank you so much. I listened, I read, I compared to what I was reading in the bible and am confident I am right where father wants me. I have talked to some people about it and they say I am apostate which made me smile because yes, I have left religion!

I just finished reading “The Shack” which totally blew me away. Wow. Father was there with me through all of what I went through. I certainly identify with Mack when he realized that he did love papa and did trust papa.

Now it is 2008 and I am just loving this life Father leads me in. Of course, like everyone, I still have issues. Biggest issue I have right now is with men. I don’t know how I will ever really be able to trust a man to have a healthy relationship. But, I do know when Father knows I am ready, we will cross that bridge together. For now, it is my daughter and I and we love hanging out. I am able to keep busy working as a fitness trainer. This will be season two of competing in triathlons and I love getting together with my folks and brother who all love Father who has brought us together the way he has.

I guess I tell you all this to tell you thanks for making a difference in me. You and Brad have an awesome podcast. I send the link to The God Journey to everyone I email and tell everyone I know.

I just love hearing how Father pulls people out of darkness and restores them with life and with joy. No one is too far out of reach for God to rescue! Thanks to this dear young woman for sharing her story with me, and now with all of you!

An Amazing Story of Father’s Redemption Read More »

The Ongoing Need In Kenya

The crisis continues to worsen in Kenya as you will see from the emails below. We are blessed to be able to help a significant group of people near Kitale with housing, food, blankets, medicine and supplies from your generous contributions. To date we have taken in almost $8,000.00 and money continues to trickle in. We will continue to be a conduit as long as people have it on their heart to give. Thank you all for your generosity. Here are their most recent reports:

From one of the office workers:

On behalf of our beloved brethren from here, we send greetings and appreciations for your kind love you have shown to us. Attached pictures are some of the things which we distributed in the places where our brethren have camped. We had formed 5 groups and I was leading one group and other fellow brothers. In my group, we were accompanied by the director carrying mats, blankets, rice, soap and clothes and other group 2 they were carrying some mats, blankets, maize and some beans. Group 3 was also carrying blankets, mats, soap, rice and beans. Group 4 also distributed mats, blankets, maize, rice and beans to different church buildings within Kitale region. Group 5 the same as the above groups.

According to the need of mats, we decided to distribute 2 mats for every family and there was more demand of mats, blankets and other necessary things. For health purposes, every group must be accompanied by two Red Cross representative to witness and to help to distribute in order. There is a list of needs in the office, it has helped the first part. We ask your assistance in second part. We have told them to pray and trust God for other provision that we may complete.

This support has helped over 300 families, brothers and sisters who are now seeing the love of God through God’s people. So they pray for the Lifestream ministry and the team for their great concern. More is still needed. As God enables you, we pray that you continue helping our people.
May the Lord bless you as we look forward to hear from you.

And this is from my friend, Michael:

Here the situation in Trans-Nzoia (Kitale)it is getting worse and many people have been killed. It is 20km from Kitale. Security is tight but people are armed and now there are many refugees than before. We need prayers more and continue assisting us until we tell you it is better. Things are worsening every day, it has turned to be clashes not political.

I would like to send my humble greetings to your beloved wife and the family and the entire friends and all who are partnering with your beloved ministry. I would like to inform you that I have more comments and more appreciations from the brothers who have been receiving the message we have been circulating from your one-anothering materials. This has brought more restoration, forgiveness and reconciliation. Yesterday as we were accompanying our team to distribute some items, I got a testimony when people felt and touched with the spirit and start forgiving those who burnt their houses, properties and this took about one hour from one of the lady who read the message singing forgiveness and it spread to almost everywhere when people were shouting praying loudly and forgiving those who have oppressed them.

Thank you for this wonderful message. God is preparing in this hard situation people to know Him and to see His love. I would like to say that God is the one who connected us with a great purpose for such time of this. I would like to encourage you and your team that continue standing with us until things will be back to normal because our brothers here are praying that the prayers to change this situation.

The support you sent to us , we started distributing immediately the same day Saturday evening in five different places and our team are working excellent heart as well as ministering to the needy. Our intercessory team here are fasting and praying for God for protection and for the provision especially for your ministry and with the land of Kenya. About another support, my brother, I would like to ask that please we still need your help anything you may feel as the Spirit leads you. Please help. In the pictures you received, the displaced children who need right now to learn no matter what circumstances they are passing. So our IGEM team they have volunteered to teach them as they believe God to restore things to normal. So may the Lord bless you as we help our brothers and sisters to feel the love of God.

Below are the new pictures they sent of the people they are helping, their assistance from the Red Cross, and the goods being distributed. Thanks for all your help. If you’d like to join with us or send more, please go to our Invoice Page and click on the ‘Pay Invoice’ button. You can then list “Donation for Kenya” and the amount you’d like to give. If you use the ‘Donation’ button you will need to also send me an email letting me know you wanted this to go for Kenya and not for Lifestream. All donations to this cause are tax deductible and every dime sent to us will go out for relief in this Kenyan crisis.

If you prefer, you can also send a check to Lifestream • 7228 University Dr. • Moorpark, CA 93021.









The Ongoing Need In Kenya Read More »

The Contradiction of Freedom

Over $3500.00 has been sent in so far to help with relief in Kenya, from four or five different countries on three continents. Honestly, I’m overwhelmed at the generosity that has poured out of so many of you. We’re seeing God open some incredible doors to help brothers and sisters and they are so grateful that brothers and sisters from the outside have given such help.

Now I’ll let Dan do the rest of my work today. I got this email from him last week and I love what it says about freedom and how it impacts relationships:

I was adding a phone number this morning to my cell phone. The first day of the new year seemed like a good time to also clean out some phone numbers of people I have no recognition of who they are. As I was thumbing through the names, a few of the people I had not seen or heard
from since we started on this free range journey, I was wondering what happened to the relationship?

And that is just it!

There was no relationship. We were part of a big mega-church that stressed it’s many programs and offerings. In the mega-church mindset, programs give opportunity for relationship to happen, but don’t assure that it can be found there. The relationships lives inside of programs. Once the program is over, the relationship is over. Once we no longer were involved in those programs there was no longer any reason to maintain the relationship. They never called, they never wrote, they never checked in just to see how we were doing. That would have required a relationship outside of a program and who would officiate that? When would it begin? When would it end? Who would be in charge? Who had the authority to be over the other for accountability?

It is amazing how freedom in Christ does not often allow for freedom in relationships and freedom from expectations in those relationship. We have made a few attempts to touch base with some of them, but their lack of response made it clear they didn’t have room for relationships outside of the program they are a part of.

That is sad. They are good people. It is strange how something like freedom can be such a threat.

I think a lot of us have had the same struggle with relationships we had in the institutional format. They work as long as we’re on the task together, but once that ends, there isn’t a friendship that goes beyond it. Of course both parties bear responsibilities in that, especially if we’re waiting for the others to make the first move. I like that Dan has tried. I think we always try. I have wonderful friendships from almost every stage of my life on this journey. But to be honest, I’ve been the one that has instigated most of the contact. I don’t blame them for that. Most people are so busy just surviving the responsibilities of every day living, especially if they add to that heavy involvement in the life of a congregation, that they just don’t have the time or energy for relationships beyond it…

I hope we’re all learning to live a community that transcends whatever task we’re on or not on together. The connection of this family is not the meetings we attend, but the relationships we forge as God connects us to others. We all don’t need to pursue only people who are like-minded, but with all kinds of folks, believers and unbelievers as God leads us.

The simple question I ask regularly is, “Father who do you want me walking alongside at this season of my life.” And then I follow through on that. I realize most people find it difficult to initiate contact, but I consider that part of my life following him!

The Contradiction of Freedom Read More »

Life Without Fellowship?

I got this question today. It was sent to me by someone who used the title ‘Apostle and Pastor’ in front of his name. He needed both—in caps! Interesting…

How do you reconcile these scriptures in light of your view of fellowship.

Matt 28:18-20
Acts 2:42-47
Hebrews 10:25

If it is true that you can walk in Christ without fellowship, that means it’s time for you to start a fellowship so you can help those who are not so strong.

While I appreciated the brevity, I find the context absurd. I can’t imagine anyone reading my website thinking that I encourage people to walk with Jesus without fellowship. That’s nuts! I encourage fellowship all the time, but in real relationships with people, not by sitting in your pew once a week watching others around you.

And I can’t imagine anyone reading those three texts and understanding their historical context who would think they obligate people to ‘start fellowships’ or be in a required meeting. People who hunger for the living God don’t need to be obligated to anything. Their hunger for him will lead them to all the people he wants them to connect with.

Here’s how I answered him:

Who said anything about walking with Christ without fellowship? I can gather with other Christians and help new ones grow in the faith by just having fellowship with those God asks me to walk beside in any given season. I don’t have to ‘start a fellowship’ for that. If you read carefully I’m not advocating a lack of fellowship, but I am indicating that walking with people is far more important than starting or maintaining a group. We’d like to think they are the same but they are not. History proves that.

So the Scriptures you cite are all lived out in greater reality, depth and power when we’re not caught up in the mechanics of a group and simple walk in deep friendship and love with whomever God puts in our life. Sometimes that puts me in a room with hundreds of people, sometimes just tow or three.

Jesus, nor the early apostles did not view the life of the church as a series of meetings on Sunday morning or Wednesday night that are led from the front, but vibrant relationships that wrestle with the deep issues of life and magnify God in doing so!

And it doesn’t bother me of people want to get together at a regular place in a regular way. That’s an expression of this family too! It just isn’t the only expression and not necessarily the best. Scripture never points to believers gathered in rows to witness a meeting led by a few. It pictures people meeting together to share insights and ask questions, to share Jesus’ gifts, to build each other up and to share the burdens of life together.

Life Without Fellowship? Read More »

When Older Children Don’t Get It!

What do you do when your children don’t understand? I often get emails from parents of older children, who do not understand why their parents no longer attend the religious services they made the children attend when they were younger. Some are curious, but I get lots of email from those whose kids are deeply confused, fearing their parents have fallen away from Christ. Some have even threatened to withhold their grandchildren from their parents for fear they will lead them astray somehow. “What should we do?” they ask.

I just tell them to love them right back. Don’t get angry or defensive, just keep opening your hearts to them trusting that your relationship with them some day will overrun their fears and apprehensions. It would be nice if we could go back and re-train our kids, but once they’ve become adults, they will resent attempts they perceive are manipulative.

A couple of days ago I got an email from one of those adult children who had had a hard time with their parents’ journey… for a time! But God has ways of sorting these things out. I have corresponded with the parents in the past so it was fun to hear from their daughter:

I grew up in a small town in the southwest where my parents gracefully raised me and home schooled me and my brothers through high school. Through my growing up years I was raised as a run-of-the-mill Christian, who attended a small non-denominational group of believers where I grew accustomed to their rules and regulations. I attended this place up until I was in college where I started attending another non-denominational congregation. I met my husband there and dated him for three years. We attended this place, and made long lasting relations with these brothers and sisters.

Meanwhile, back home my parents stopped attending and started this other profound way of living for Father. My mom talked a lot about your blog and podcasts, but at the time it never quite registered. Quite frankly, I was shocked and amazed that my parents were doing the exact opposite of what they taught us kids growing up. It was hard to fathom that this type of lifestyle, not going to a congregation, and following all the rules, was okay with God.

A couple months after attending our new fellowship in Denver, my husband one day woke up on a Sunday morning, and said, “We don’t need to go today”. And that is how it all started. At first, I was quite happy not having to get up so early on a weekend day to attend a large group of people, but as time went by, about 6 to 8 months later, my relationship with Father started developing in a more natural form than what I have ever experienced before.

I began to listen more, started finding myself in Father and was finding out what Father wanted from me. He wanted my heart, and that was it, nothing more just my heart. I thought for the longest time that as long as I lived up to others expectations and thought that they were coming from God, I was ok. And as long as I used my gifts and read my Bible every single day for at least 30 minutes, I was in the Lord’s will. But, instead of all that nonsense, he just wanted my heart, and he wanted me for himself. Once I grasp how easy Father was and how complicated everybody around me made him out to be, life became lighter and less demanding and all that was missing was knowing that Father was an gentle God who just wanted to love me. That is when I started getting to know my father more intimately than I have ever experienced before.

That is where I am today thanks to Father and the brothers and sister (my mom and dad, you, Brad, and people on the forum) that he chose to help me along the way. Just recently, Father has just opened the door for us to move back home close to our families and brothers and sisters. My husband, Jonathan and I are very excited for the move.

However, our friends back home know that we don’t attend any kind of congregation, but some don’t acknowledge that, and still try to put pressure on the subject of attendance. I am a little worried that the pressure will build more strongly once we are down there living day to day. My hope is to focus on our relationships with our brothers and sisters and develop them with Father, but how can we do that if they are so focused on the congregation and activities and things of that nature than on bonding and sharing life together like Jesus did with the disciples?

I love what God has done in this young woman and I’m sure her parents are elated to have their daughter finally appreciate and share their journey. And I love the gracious and God-focused heart it is all producing in her.

But now it comes full circle doesn’t it? The same concerns the parents had about their daughter, the daughter now has about her friends. She is realizing that there are others who may not approve of her journey and wondering how her relationships will work when she moves back to her home town. She also sees how the activities and busyness of congregational life can actually rob us of real relationships rather than promote them.

One of the worst things religion twists us to do is to try to make other see what we see. When we’re doing that we’re not just loving them where they are, but trying to get them to be where we are. That doesn’t lead to effective loving. In fact you’ll find people pushing you away, and even worse retreating into the defensiveness of their own bondage.

Perhaps the most difficult thing for us to learn is how to simply love people, being honest with them about the life Christ has shown us without trying to manipulate them. But that is the environment where the Holy Spirit works most easily to open people’s eyes. I know it takes a lot of trust in God’s ability to lay down our need to convince others that we’re right, but it is a big part of learning to live in his life and to share that life with others in a way that promotes his work in them.

When Older Children Don’t Get It! Read More »