Search Results for: Friends and friends of friends

“We finished up our retreat in Malaga on Sunday afternoon with a bit of sharing. If you’d like to see some pictures from our time with a smaller group under a fig tree, you can see it here. This discussion began with a small group of women under a fig tree who wanted to ask more pointed questions about how to help people who have suffered great abuse or pain connect with the reality of a Father’s love they had never known. I reminded them that this is God’s job not ours. We can encourage, we can help share the Truth, but it is God’s to reveal his love, even through periods of great pain. And he does it so well. I encouraged them to ask the people they are helping in turn to ask the Lord to show them his love. This is God’s work, not ours to prove by logical arguments.

As we talked the discussion grew as more people joined in. Eventually we started debriefing from the weekend. They wanted to hear Sara’s story and how God brought her into a new place of freedom. It was wonderful and connected with so many. Then we talked about how each of us can relax more into God’s freedom every day.

As is the case with so many stops I make, it is difficult to leave those God knits our hearts to even over a weekend. On Monday our hosts took us to Gibraltar and some time on the mountain with a group of monkeys. On Tuesday we flew to Rome to meet up with our friends from Switzerland to spend some days in fellowship as we explore the city of Rome. Yesterday we saw the Spanish Steps and the area around Trevi Fountain. This morning we wandered around the Coloseum together and explored the Roman Forum and archeological digs on Palatine.

Tomorrow we are headed to the Vatican. I’m looking forward to it, even though it will bring a number of conflicting emotions to bear. Breathtaking art, amazing architecture from long ago, and all of that provided for by an often-oppressive religious institution that accomplished these things with so-called offerings to God. Tomorrow ought to rock!

Sara and I landed safely this morning in Madrid, Spain. This is our first trip here and yet we got off the plane to familiar faces—people we met in the States a little over a year ago. We’ll be gathering with people tonight and tomorrow in Madrid, even though people have come from all over Spain, Portugal, and even France. Oh, yeah, we’ll also be working through jet lag since we only got a couple of hours sleep on the flight in.

Tomorrow we are going to see a bit of downtown Madrid and then Friday morning we will be driving five hours south to Malaga on the south coast. We will be gathering for a weekend Then for the weekend we will be gathering in Malaga on the south coast. If you’d like to join us you can get the details here.

Then next Tuesday we’ll be moving on to Rome, Italy to meet some of our dear friends who will arrive from Switzerland and to sample the sites and sounds of the city, it’s history and nearby Vatican City.

Tomorrow I get to fly back home to enjoy a day with the friends that help us pray and listen to Jesus for what we do through Lifestream and The God Journey, and to have a day with our whole family. Looking forward to it.

Last week I found this email that so resonated with me as well:

It’s funny how when Christian folks find out we don’t attend a church, we kind of become their project to get us into their church. I’m sure I was exactly the same, not too long ago. A couple guys that I have become friends with are very intellectual in their pursuit of God. One attends a Catholic church, the other a Baptist church. Every so often, they will buy me a book to read or CD’s to listen to. I’m reading a book about a protestant who turned catholic and a book about Calvinism. I may have to start turning down their requests to read these books because I feel like I’m all cluttered up, if that makes sense.

Both are very passionate about doctrine. Their argument is that if you don’t have correct doctrine/theology, you can’t really get to know God. I appreciate their passion to know God better, I’m just not so sure of the route. God always amazes me and seems to reveal Himself to us, even when we aren’t “doing it right”, so I believe He will honor the desire of their hearts to know Him. I don’t really know if I’m a Calvinist or an Armenian or somewhere in the middle. I’m not really sure I care what camp I fall into. My focus and prayer for months has been:

• “Father, I want to know you more intimately, the way you want me to know you.”
• “Father, open my eyes and help me to see how much you love me and those around me, and teach me to respond to that love.”
• “Father, when I read the Bible, reveal yourself to me. Help me to see what you want me to see about you.”

Then I get around these real intellectual guys and I think, “is my approach too simple?”. But when I start studying all the heady stuff, I get all clogged up. When I go back to just my simple focus, I mentioned above, there is a rest and peace. I guess that answers my question, huh?

Yes, I think he did!

I know for me when my spiritual journey was more of a head trip than learning to live loved, I was much more enamored with doctrinal positions. While I still believe in the importance of sound doctrine and growing in the truthof who God is, I don’t think he is nearly so complicated as some scholars would have us believe. Learning to live in his love and love those around me, including those who cross my path each day, is far more joyful and far more intellectually challenging than all the other things that use to fascinate me. And his truth emerges in the loving.

I guess that’s what Paul meant when he said “knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.” Living loved leads to correct doctrine, but rarely does correct doctrine lead to living loved.

I wouldn’t have even remembered it if it hadn’t come up again the next day. The person who picked me up in the morning to drive me to my next destination told me a friend of hers that I’d met last night had called this morning to tell her how much my parting words had encouraged her. I scoured my brain to remember what I had said and came up blank.

“You don’t remember,” she said.

“No, I don’t.”

” As you hugged her you whispered, ‘I love the mess you’re in.'”

Now I remembered. It was only a passing comment, but somehow it had found a receptive heart. I really enjoyed this couple and their courage to follow Jesus even though some of their friends couldn’t understand the journey they were on. Many wanted the husband to quit his vocation and be their pastor, but he had refused, preferring them to follow Jesus and love each other rather than be managed by him. So their decision wasn’t popular and had caused some to begin to look down on them.

I love those kinds of messes. No, they are not fun, but messes created by our following Jesus are good messes to be in. He does wonderful things in our hearts even through the faulty judgments of others. Other messes, created by our own selfishness, failings, or arrogance aren’t such good messes. Oh, Jesus redeems us in the midst of them too, but I don’t love them so much.

That’s why some messes are better than others. Some storms you sail into because you’re lost, trying to save yourself and that takes a lot of rescue and rebuilding. I’m blessed Jesus does that. Other storms come up as we are following him, and while we don’t necessarily enjoy the mess, we can rest knowing it isn’t one of our own choosing.

I am off again, this time to one of my favorite places—New England. I wish it were fall, or at least spring, but it seems to still be a bit cold back there after a long dark winter, as I hear it from many. I’m going to get to hang out with friends old and new, and talk about one of my favorite subjects—how God won us to his affection through the cross.

I am often asked, “What does it take to get Wayne to come visit our group?” It almost sounds like it is an impossible task, especially in the last few years when people thought my popularity had increased and it was all that much more difficult or costly for me to come. That is not true. While the last few years have been a nightmare trying to navigate in the shadow of the popularity of THE SHACK and the increased interest in two of my other titles, my passion to help others on this journey has not changed. And I find that far more effective in a living room of 20 or 30 than I do a conference hall of hundreds.

God asked me to engage that craziness for a season, but it has not been an enjoyable season and it complicated my life in so many ways. For the last six months I’ve been seeking to lay all of that down to get back to that which I love most, communicating with people about this journey, whether it be through writings, recordings, or personal visits. All have a different capacity to communicate and help encourage God’s unfolding kingdom in the world.

So what does it take to get Wayne to come for a visit? It really isn’t that complicated. All of my trips start with an invitation. Ask. Then both of us can begin to pray about a timing and a purpose. When God gives us both a clear “go” for the same timing, then we move ahead with the planning. That’s really it. I don’t charge an appearance fee or even make sure the group can cover my expenses. My thinking is this. If Father has it on his heart then he will provide everything we need to make to make it happen. And I don’t schedule very far out, usually 2-3 months domestically, so that I can be more flexible to engage those more propitious moments where a crisis or a critical transition make it most helpful for me to be with a specific group.

And while I already have more invitations to travel than I can probably fulfill in the next two years, I don’t handle requests in the order they were received. They all go on a list and we pray over them to see what Father has in mind. The sense that I’ve had over the last few months is that some people are reticent to follow through with some nudge Father put on their heart because they are afraid I’m too busy. If people do that, however, we’ll both miss some exciting things he might have in store.

So, no, I’m not writing this because I lack invitations, but simply to let those who have had something they think God might have put on their heart and dismissed it because they thought I’d be too busy, to think again. I’m always looking for those opportunities that have Father smile on them, to help people discover the depths of Father’s affections, help groups discover how to engage a relational community that will free God to work in their midst, to connect people in an area who don’t know others near them might be on a similar journey to theirs and to help equip those who have a heart to help others grow on this journey. And I love hanging out, making new friends, and seeing what Father is about in the world.

As you can imagine I get the Hebrews 10:25 question a lot. This email exchange might interest others of you who are wrestling with this same issue. My recent newsletter also talks more The Church Jesus is Building in our world today and how we can participate in it.

I wonder if you could give me some input as I struggle with the whole “church” issue? I’m no Bible scholar by any means, but I do get curious enough to look into this or that word. When I looked up the word from Heb. 10:25, “…not forsaking our own assembling together…” I discovered that it’s from a Greek word, “episunagoge” and means, “a complete collection; gathering together. It’s from “episunago” which means, “to collect upon the same place.” From your comments I wonder, do you feel then that this this kind of “collecting upon the same place” gathering is not necessary?

I actually have many really good, deep, Christian relationships, which I maintain with gratefulness to the Lord. But I also desire the kind of gathering that Paul described when he said, “When you assemble, each one has a psalm, has a teaching, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification.” Can you give me any input here? What is your thinking on this? We left the institutional church last October, and have been getting into the (Scriptures) and fellowship around the Lord together. It’s not that we desire to make or create a house church just to have a house church, as if that’s our goal. I see Jesus and the disciples spending time together in serving God, and I think that this is the real model for us to live by. So they collected upon the same place while Jesus was with them in His flesh. Also I was thinking that after Jesus’ ascension God gave gifts for the building up of each other, and that seems to present the “episunagoge” gathering concept.

My response: I love getting together with believers as well and sharing our journeys together as well as the gifts and insights God gives each one. It’s HOW we do that that’s important. House church can be a great tool, if people come to really engage God and each other. It can be a really sick substitute if people are committed to house church not other brothers and sisters.

So I understand your hunger and your concerns about Hebrews 10. But Hebrews 10 is not primarily talking about a meeting, it is talking about connecting in relationships and walking alongside each other in that way. And this was to a group of people who WANTED to do so, but were so afraid of the persecution that being together put them at risk. The writer is telling them that being together anyway is worth the risk for the encouragement it offers. That’s a far cry from being an obligation for Christians to get together.

Here’s what I know. Believers who love each other will get together. That’s what friends and family do. My kids and grandkids get together every week or two. We don’t do it because we have to, because we’re trying to form a family, or any other reason other than we love each other and enjoy being together. Community is like that too. When we have people we care about we will be together. What so many groups miss is that the relationship must take precedence over the meetings. Meetings are a byproduct, not the method or the goal. If we’ll engage caring relationships first and begin to find a common heart together over dinner and evenings together as friends, we will find time to gather together as that network expands. I think it’s backwards to start a meeting first and hope friendships grow out of that. They can, but rarely do. I’ve been to many home groups where people meet together regularly but it is obvious they don’t really care about each other, spend time with each other beyond the meeting, or are truly friends in Christ. Believe me, that’s pretty empty.

I don’t know how God will accomplish this in you and your area, but I know as you follow him, he’ll begin to connect you to people when he is ready and those connections can become a link into real community. We’ve got a group of folks that are just beginning to link up here. We’re not, however, starting a weekly meeting, just encouraging people to build friendships and then see how God might want us to gather. It may be sporadically and spontaneously, or something more set. It’s really up to him. We’re more focused on just sharing the journey…

Wow! Thank you very much!! I feel that what you are saying is so profound in our day and time, and I could sense the Holy Spirit in me bearing witness to your words. I’m so grateful as I’ve been wrestling with the “church issue” to read your wisdom, that I almost feel like crying. You have put a clear light on it for me, and I appreciate your kindness so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I appreciated much of the feedback from people who read my last blog. And my heart hurts for those who do not yet know that there are people around them, probably closer than they think, who are on a very similar journey and hungering for the same kind of contact. I find them everywhere, so I know they are out there.

But as I wander about the planet I notice there are people who are quite relational, willing to engage people around them in conversation, to travel to meet new people on this journey, and are intentional about opening the door to new friendships by taking the initiative in arranging times to get together. Then there are those who wait in hopes that friendships will come to them. The former have lots of people in their lives, the latter have very few. Until we become the friend we want to have, we will stay rather isolated.

I know this is scary for some people, but honestly, relationships won’t come to you; you have to go to them. All our coping mechanisms of the flesh isolate us by making us defensive around people we don’t know and don’t trust. If grace does anything in us, it makes us more relational people, willing to take the risk to engage others in conversation, even if the relationship goes no where. Spiritual growth makes us willing to risk an evening just to get to know someone, and even rejection if in the end they don’t want to know us better.

If you want the conversations of community you have to go looking, sampling scores of relationships to find those half a dozen that become the most meaningful to you. When I travel around I meet lots of people on this journey, and often the room is filled with people the others don’t know. During the day, I meet lots of people in that room I’d love to know better if I only lived in that area. But what amazes me is how little contact between those people goes beyond my time there. Obviously they were there only to meet or hear me, when there were so many other treasures of God in the room that they could be walking with now if someone would have taken the risk to provide an opportunity to grow the relationship.

What seems to be true is that people are either content with the friendships they have, or they just don’t want to risk their comfort zone to get to know others better. I even find people when I travel who would like to schedule time with me personally if they can, but don’t want to come to a gathering of people they don’t know. Usually they have some kind of excuse, but deep down it’s just that they are uncomfortable coming to a strange home or finding out the arrangements. I’m afraid our comfort zones will always isolated places to dwell.

If you don’t make yourself available first, you will have little to choose from because most people are not going to initiate it with you. It’s never easy to take the risk, but the rewards are worth it. Just don’t think you’ll connect with everyone. You won’t. But those that do become friends are well-worth the search. It’s like looking for a job. You wouldn’t sit home hoping one comes to you. You have to go look, to interview, to be turned down, maybe forty or fifty times in this economy to find a job. What if that’s true of friends? Are they worth investing some time and intentionality?

If the body of Christ is going to connect in our day, it’s because God transforms people to having a greater relational priority than to simply do their jobs and chores each week. The greatest treasures in this earth are people. That includes our neighbor next door and the person in the cubicle across from us. If we just start loving the people around us, whether or not they are on a similar spiritual journey, we will eventually find ourselves overwhelmed with friends and fellow-travelers and maybe people who don’t know God yet, who might see his love in us.

I refuse to give into the notion that some of us are relational and some of us aren’t. I agree that it may be easier for some and more of a risk for others, but that’s usually because some have been taking the risk for so long they are no longer uncomfortable with it. But I am convinced that finding God’s love will free you to love people more freely.

If you want the conversations of community, realize they are the fruit of living relationally. Not every contact will produce community, but it is certainly true that if I’m not growing any relationships, I’ll never find it.

I got this email today from a friend, Michael Simpson who has been a missionary in Russia for the last season of his life. But now they are back in the States as God has taken their life a bit of a different direction. I love this, what they have learned and how God has asked them to live. What I really appreciate is how much more effective they are in God’s purpose outside the “job” of a ministry:

God has led us in some very interesting directions. By June, I will change my status and leave my salaried position. I’ve recently been working as an executive coach simply helping people with their goals, character, relationships and balance in life seems to always lead to meaningful spiritual conversations, and deep spiritual change for those that have that desire. It’s interesting, and frankly a little sad, how that was always my greatest passion as a business executive, but I thought I had to become a missionary to do it full time.

After six years in Russia, what I’ve realized is that I didn’t need an organization, a particular structure, or a particular “calling” to a group of people or geography to live my life in that amazingly fulfilling and purposeful way. God had already given me everything I needed with His Spirit to guide me into the conversations and relationships that he willed. What I did in Russia as a missionary was exactly what I did in America as an executive, but dragging around all the baggage that a salaried missions worker carries. It’s just MUCH more difficult to get over the trust barriers when you are being paid to talk to someone about God.
 
My wife and I will continue to visit Russia, but as business people, not missionaries. We are now setting up a business there, as an extension of our U.S. coaching business. This group of life and business coaches I work with want to help believers in very corrupt societies, like Russia, become coaches to help develop the character and even spiritual lives of business people there, but doing it through legitimate businesses, not fronts for ministry. After all, isn’t life ministry?

I have begun to abhor the false delineation the church has put on ministry vs. life. I have seen first-hand the negative effects on young believers who think they can’t serve God without being “IN” ministry, instead of simply being IN relationship and following Father’s whispers to wherever he leads. As an example, one of the greatest impacts to the people we’ve been helping in Russia for so many years is telling them the stories of changed lives and great spiritual conversations with the people we do business with, live near, and bump into at the grocery store. Our little seasonal chocolate business has created so many relationships and friendships and the most Spirit-guided conversations I could ever hope for.
 
The result has been that the Russians we know have realized that we were in Russia helping them grow in their relationship with Father because of our relationship with Father – not because of our job and organization. It has clearly inspired them to live similarly. Sadly, as a missionary, I could never have gotten that message across so credibly as when I was living it as a “normal” person filled with the Spirit of God, working out life and relationships just like them. Ironically, us being with them less has influenced them more. I’ve found they didn’t need ME as much as they needed my example.
 
Thanks again for slinging freedom (and) letting us know that it is okay to go with what we really sense in our spirit, has created great freedom to live as listeners who do not ignore what they hear. It certainly is never boring living that way, and there are WAY less politics to deal with. 

I know this makes people nervous who are or who want to be in “full time ministry”, but what this unmasks is the myth that you’ll be more effective there, or that we all who follow Jesus aren’t at his disposal every moment of every day touching people he gives us. How he resources our lives is not the issue. It’s living as an expression of Jesus however he invites us to do that and however he chooses to provide for our lives and families. As one who has been free in this season to live with a full-time availability to Jesus, I’m not threatened by letters like this; I’m deeply blessed. When ministry was “job” for me, rather than the result of a fullness in my own life, I was far less helpful to others.

“I’ve found they didn’t need ME as much as they needed my example.” Those words just leap off the page. I love that line, that insight and that freedom!

I just received word that Logos in Hong Kong has just released Authentic Relationships: Discovering the Lost Art of One-Anothering in Chinese traditional script.

It blesses me how God continues to put these resources in the hands of other cultures. Moving our church experience from being a passive audience in a pew, to real Jesus-centered friendships is critical to the church recovering her life and vitality in this age. And it is critical that we recognize that those relationships can only grow in a real environment where people can engage each other and cannot be managed programs we create. For those in Brazil this book will also be released in Portuguese this May.

For those who want a copy of this book in Chinese, you can check Logos’ website here.

I’ve known Stan Firth for a number of years now, as Father has allowed us to fellowship together a few times. I enjoy this elder brother in the faith, the price he’s paid to follow his conscience and the simple passion, hope, and joy he brings to those who cross his path. Formerly a Baptist pastor in Scotland he now resides south of London, living outside the box of organized religion. Many of you might know him from a podcast he did with Brad and I a few years ago.

He has just released a new book called The Remarkable Replacement Army, that I think many of you will enjoy. Following up on his earlier book Custom and Command that posed the question of whether our participation in our current Sunday morning institutions is a command of Jesus we are to follow, or is it just a custom that has grown up over 2,000 years of Christian history, his newest book is a protracted metaphor presented as a prophecy of the church in our time and for the future.

I love much of the content of this book and recommend it to everyone whose contemplating the nature of the church today, especially those who no longer feel connected to a traditional congregation. In it, Stan describes a time of transition between the traditional congregation as we’ve known it and a more relational networking of passionate believers that he says will define church life in this century. It will challenge many of you. It will encourage others of you. And it will help many of you who think how you can live more effectively beyond the traditional congregation.

That said, there are also things in this book that give me pause. Portraying it as a prophecy is problematic for me and unfortunately may discourage some from mining the incredible content here. I’m convinced Stan believes that it is, and I respect him for saying so. At the same time I’m not sure I agree with the value of getting people to see this transition in prophetic terms, knowing it can appeal to a fleshy desire to be in a significant movement. Certainly, the institutional patterns of the past are losing their grip on people and God is inviting many people outside those conventions to discover more relational ways of living and walking alongside other believers and touching the world. That’s a reality. but it may not be a shift in God’s priorities or methodologies so much as it is that our religious systems have grown so complicated and manipulative that they have choked out the life of the Spirit in many places and people have gone looking elsewhere for Truth and life.

God’s Remarkable Replacement Army uses an extended metaphor about a “replacement army” in Norway during World War II to resist the Nazi occupation and preserve the wishes of their king while he was in England helping to overthrow the German invaders. Stan has gleaned much insight from that period of history and uses it to share some of his observations about people who no longer fit into the religious systems they once did. As with all metaphors it can be pushed too far and draw people to the wrong conclusions. And, in this day of religious conflict around the world, I grow increasingly uncomfortable with military language to describe God’s church in the world. The title immediately was off-putting to me, but as you read the book you’ll understand why he chose it. I appreciate that he wasn’t calling believers to arms, but inviting them to live in service to their King.

Finally the former school teacher can’t resist telling us how to read his book and it does bog down at times when he lectures us about what we should read, when we should read it, and how it should be read. Get past those bits. They may seem a bit tedious, but theirs veins of gold running through this little book that will encourage and enlighten you. I don’t write these things to discourage you from reading the book, but to warn you not to take the exit ramps from his incredible content and miss the greater truths that Stan shares from his life.

This is an older brother sharing his most profound convictions. Many of you will know well what he means when he writes:

Up until about fifteen yeas ago, my wife and I were staunch church-members, always fully involved in the activities of a local fellowship, wherever we happened to be living. We had even spent nearly two decades in “full time service”, when I was a “pastor” (or “minister”). Slowly but surely, however, we had come to this conclusion about church life, which I have been describing—this conviction that the existing church system was no longer the way forward for our discipleship. It become clear to us that, in spite of the past, we could not continue to be “church goers”. We knew that our action would cause raised eyebrows—to say the least—among our relatives and close friends. Because of our previous extremely-church-oriented lifestyle, the fact that we had stopped “going to church” would seem , to those who knew us, very odd indeed—if not downright heretical!”

In the third section of the book, Stan gives some practical guidelines for thriving in the King’s purpose outside of those congregational structures. There’s really genius here if you don’t take this as a how-to book of methods to implement in your life. Stan warns us against doing so. But many of you will appreciate, as I did, his ideas on “cross-my-path-care”, intentionally socializing with others, and how the Scriptures and the Spirit work hand in hand to show us the Father’s purpose. I’ve used some of these things in numerous conversations already to help people see that living relationally is not less intentional, if anything it is more so or you may find yourself feeling empty and isolated, when you don’t need to.

Here is an excerpt:

I prophesy that the exiting regiments of the Army of the King of Kings (the various denominations) and “streams’ which currently make up the Church are going to disintegrate, sooner or later, during the 21st Century. Already I see many signs of that. Furthermore although there are individual churches and groups of churches, which at this moment are, to all intents and purposes, “fighting well”, I suggest that even they, in the long run, will all but disappear from the scene. I prophesy that the days of the Institutional Church are drawing to a close. I do not believe, however, that the King of Kings is discouraged—even though the army of Christians view the deteriorating situation with dismay. …There is no way that he will leave himself without a body of “soldier of Christ” to further his cause on Earth. My prediction is that, as the 21st Century unfolds, the King of Kings will come to be represented by an Army of a radically different style from the army that has previously represented him. I prophesy that he will replace his formal army (his formal church) with an informal network of dedicated believers—a veritable “resistance movement” of committed Christians.

Problems aside, this book is one that people thinking outside the religious box need to read. It comes from the depth of a man’s heart and wisdom that has lived these realities for years and you won’t want to miss the powerful insights that fill this book.

You can order the book from Lulu.com. Paperback, 320 pages. Or you can download a free PDF version here.