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Facilitating the Conversations That Matter

6 Comments / Uncategorized / February 19, 2020

A week or so ago, I wrote a blog about The Power of a Conversation. I would say that the vast majority of us have been more impacted by a meaningful conversation than listening to a lecture. I know many people see lectures as more fit for teaching, but honestly I do more effective teaching in conversations these days than I can ever fit into a presentation.

Tomorrow, I’m off for a two-week a swing through Oklahoma, featuring a wide set of conversations, some about the depth of living loved, and others about how to love well in the world. With my latest book out, I now have a set of three books covering the best of what it means to live in the Father’s love—growing in it personally (He Loves Me), finding mutual relationships to stimulate our spiritual growth and to serve others (Finding Church), and how to live with a generous heart in a broken world (A Language of Healing for a Polarized World, which recently became available in audio.)

I received a lot of email about my post regarding conversations. This was one of my favorite because the writer asks a question many of us struggle with:

We’ve been out of the institutional church now since reading Finding Church roughly two years ago and love following the Father this way. We’ve seen such great fruit in our family’s life, as well as with teens (I’m a high school teacher), as we have them over on Fridays for an informal small group/Bible study.
We’ve also occasionally invited others (adults and families) over to our house to simply gather and we have enjoyed it. Yet, we find it so hard not to rely on a “worship time” or a “Teaching Time.” What I wish we could experience are the gatherings that I’ve heard you speak of: people coming together when you’re in town at a house or somewhere, but you don’t do a ‘teaching’ and yet all sorts of Spirit-inspired conversations go on amongst the people there.
We find that when we have others over, people don’t typically discuss spiritual or life issues with each other without being encouraged to do so. Things just stay in the “how are you doing?” and “what’s going with you guys these days?” subjects. Admittedly, even writing it makes me feel a little silly: how can I expect people to have meaningful, God-journey-related conversations without facilitating them? But once I start facilitating, somehow it feels like I am manufacturing an event, which I have done all my life. I suppose what inspired me about your stories of gatherings is that the Spirit seemed to simply move without some teacher-person managing it all.
Do you have any insights for me of where my wife and I might be able to see/do things differently in this?

Here’s how I answered him, if you’re having similar struggles.

I love your hunger and your honesty here. These are great questions. I love them. But, honestly, they are not easy to answer. You already know there’s a way to do it that is life-giving and invites people in to a quality conversation, and there’s an artificial way of doing it that either intimidates people or causes them to check out. The difference between those two is affected both by the person wanting to facilitate it and the people he’s hoping will join that conversation. You don’t really know until you try and then it’s obvious that the offer falls flat, or it didn’t.

I struggled for a long time with this, especially when I was a pastor. When Sara and I would go out with people, we could talk sports, weather, kids, and everyone would be quite animated, but when Jesus stuff came up (if it did) the conversation got awkward and stilted. It seemed that conversation was reserved for “church” meetings or home groups, not the fodder of normal conversation. Still, I think this is worth working through.

The first thing I’d suggest you think about is that people have to be on a Jesus journey to have a lively conversation about it. It can’t be just a religious journey that is compartmentalized into a few hours a week. The more they have a sense of their own trajectory or growing edge, and are exploring their life and circumstances with an eye to what God is doing in them or through them, the easier this will all be to fall into the course of regular conversation. People who have a sense of God in their daily life, are seeking to hear his voice and grow in his ways, are very easy to talk to. Those whose lives are immersed in circumstances without a thought as to God’s part with them, will struggle in this conversation. I don’t look for this kind of robust conversation with people like that. I look for ways to share something from my own life that might encourage them or get them thinking, but hopefully not in a manipulative way or one that expects them to respond in a certain way.

The best conversations start spontaneously out of people sharing a meal together. It’s usually triggered when someone dares to get real and shares something from their own journey that’s meaningful and perhaps even vulnerable. It may be a request for help or prayer, or just something that’s really been weighing on them. It can also happen when someone shares an insight they had, or read something that really made them think. Then other people tag on to it and the conversation begins to go down some deeper paths. I love that best. But notice, even then, someone had the wherewithal to have something on their heart and take the risk to share it. I don’t mind being that person if it doesn’t come from someone else.

This is pretty easy when I travel, because people come ready for that kind of a conversation. They’ve read things I’ve written or heard me say things on podcasts they want to discuss or with questions they have about it. That happens whether I’m in a group or one-on-one.

Finding your way into it with more spontaneous encounters takes some doing and some sensitivity to other people in the room. What are they ready for? What do the relationships allow? That’s why it may be a bit easier to facilitate a recurring group to discuss a book or do a Bible study together. But even in those gatherings, it’s usually the vulnerable sharing that opens the door to something deeper. And even in our past home groups, we got to the place where the conversation around the table was deeper and more relational than the study we started later. That’s when we stopped doing the study and let the better conversations around the table continue.

Let me encourage you to talk to Jesus about this, not for a plan to implement every time, but for something that might be on your heart for the next conversation you’re in. It may be a question to ask, or a vulnerable thing you’re going through, or something you read that inspired you. At our last Christmas dinner I had a wild thought just as we were sitting down to dinner. I made a bit of a game of it, but I said no one could leave the table until they shared an experience from the past year that made them a better person. This was my kids and grandkids, so everybody was ready to jump in. I doubt I could do that at any dinner group. But it opened up the best sharing time we’ve ever had around the table, which also included young children. Later, everyone told me after how much they appreciated it. I did it on a whim, hoping to have a better dialog around our table. You can bet I’ll be thinking that way again next time we get together with something entirely different. I want it to be a blessing to them, not something that feels forced.

That’s why it’s important that people have some relationship first. I think people who want to intentionally share some of their journey together in a regular way, really spend the first few weeks becoming friends, if they aren’t already. Many start having meetings that tend down a religious road of sharing knowledge, rather than a relational one sharing questions and struggles. If they don’t know each other well, then the first thing is to really let people share something from their lives that isn’t too spiritual, but helps others appreciate who they are as a person. Some may go deeper there, but it isn’t necessary to force that. As they get closer, they will be more involved in each other’s lives and questions will flow more readily. And I think it helps if people don’t meet EVERY week. That seems to be our default, but it may be too often. When people feel obligated to attend, or not enough life has passed for there to be fresh insights and struggles, they can grow stale quickly. Some of the best relationships I have don’t try to cross paths every week or two. Some go months between connection, but when we do, there’s no end of things to talk about.

I hope that helps. There’s no magic formula here, just people who desire rich conversations, and are sensitive to when they become forced or artificial.

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When Character Matters Most

11 Comments / Culture Watch / January 22, 2020

As another impeachment trial begins today, the second in my lifetime, I’m really left wondering if character matters to anyone anymore for our political leaders.

The Democrats fought for a resounding “no” in the Bill Clinton sex scandals, and many of my Republican friends are pushing the same agenda now that their champion holds the White House.

Growing up, everyone I knew talked about the importance of moral character in voting for our representatives. Now, no one seems to care, or doubts that anyone rising to that level of politics will have any character left. One can hardly argue that Hillary Clinton had any better character than Trump. It seems a cynical electorate no longer seeks out a candidate who exudes integrity, honesty, or graciousness, and perhaps even sees those things as detriments to getting their agenda accomplished

At least, the character issue is back in the news again, after the Christianity Today editorial calling for President Trump’s removal from office or appealing for his resignation. “His Twitter feed alone — with its habitual string of mischaracterizations, lies, and slanders — is a near perfect example of a human being who is morally lost and confused.” Mark Galli’s editorial also expressed his concern that evangelical support for Trump is undermining the credibility of the Gospel among groups that President Trump regularly belittles or marginalizes.

The Christian Post immediately responded that Christians who support Trump support him for appointing pro-life judges, standing up for religious freedom for business owners, moving the embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, and fighting for border security. “It’s a different kind of character that is found in courageous leadership, fortitude, and dogged determination. There is a deeper morality in keeping your promises after you’ve been elected.”

It is disheartening to see people who claim to be following the same Lord and King so passionately divided along the Trump line, and so dismissive of anyone who disagrees with them. As one person told me, “I’ve got friends who regard President Trump as the nephew of Jesus Christ and others who think he’s the cousin of the Antichrist.” So do I.

Jesus prayed that his glory would fill each of us in such a way that we would become one with the others, and that’s how the world would know we are directed by the breath of a better Spirit. Is this division the fruit of our politics becoming our first loyalty, or even seeking a savior among those who play the political game?

That’s why so many change tactics when their self-interest does. Those who dismissed the importance of Clinton’s flawed character back in the day, now want to hold Trump to account. That’s how you know it isn’t truly about what’s right or wrong, but about whatever advantage I can gain to drive my agenda. If we’re going to champion character, we have to be less one-sided on political issues or personalities. I appreciate those who can support some of President Trump’s policies, while still struggling with his caustic demeanor that diminishes his office and harms our national interest.

While I like many policies of his administration, I’d be hard-pressed to commend President Trump as a man of character. I don’t understand how many of my evangelical friends can ignore the problems he creates by dividing Americans into polarized groups, obfuscating the truth, and demeaning anyone who disagrees with him.

By granting unparalleled access to evangelical leaders, he has convinced many that he can right the American ship and that he needs to protect Christians from the liberals who wish to persecute their faith. What those leaders don’t seem to understand is that their unquestioned support for President Trump makes them complicit in his lies, his mockery of others, and the self-serving nature of his “America First” that has hurt our standing in the world among our own allies. Their unquestioned allegiance is having an impact on how people perceive the mission of Christ in the world.

What his detractors don’t seem to understand is that while evangelicals may be embarrassed by Trump’s bullying tactics, they won’t criticize him because they feel like the media establishment has already done so unfairly. In their mind, Trump may be an immature bully, but he’s their bully. They have long grown tired of the establishment media and leftist politicians belittling them as unthinking, gun-toting “deplorables,” and they see Trump’s antics as evening the score. But that is a mixed message at best. Many have justified his tactics by convincing themselves it takes someone as underhanded and belligerent as Trump to disrupt the Washington establishment that has worked so hard to marginalize them.

In a discussion in Los Angeles recently with a group called CultureBrave about my new book, A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation, I was asked why I thought evangelicals give President Trump their unwavering support even though he doesn’t demonstrate the behavior they claim to value?

Before I answered, I asked him what his conclusion was. His response was immediate: “Racism, pure and simple.”

I understand why he would say that. Being an African American himself, he knows that racism didn’t end with the Obama presidency. Incidents of police violence against black males increased during his term, as did threats against President Obama himself. When Trump said, “Make America Great Again,” he heard Trump dog-whistling those who want to undermine gains in civil rights for the past forty years and re-assert white dominance of the culture. Like him, I am gravely disappointed that this President doesn’t even pretend to represent all Americans and seems to use our racial divide for political gain.

That notwithstanding, I don’t believe most evangelicals have a racial agenda here. At least, I never hear that sentiment expressed among them. The image that disturbed them most was not a black man in the White House, but a rainbow of lights splashed across it when the Supreme Court affirmed the legality of gay marriage. Their concerns are not about race but sex. They are pained by abortion-on-demand at any stage of pregnancy, the amount of sexual exploitation in our culture, and special accommodations for the LGBTQ community they perceive as infringing on their religious liberty.

As long as President Trump supports these causes, most of the evangelical community will put character on the back burner just as feminists did for President Clinton. They know that any word of criticism of his divisive and immature behavior will only trigger his wrath and threaten their access.

If character has any value, it’s what protects us from doing what we want to do for ourselves at the expense of others. Personal expedience is easy to understand. Everyone tends to do whatever they think will serve them best at the time. By nature, it is self-serving and often leads to decisions we come to regret. Every law we have is to rein in people of questionable character who are willing to use whatever advantage to benefit themselves.

In our bottom-line culture of garnering political power or individual profit, character is a fool’s errand. You can make more money and gather more power by greed and duplicity than you can caring about what is right, just, generous, and fair to others. Good character is the moral compass that will call someone to forego personal expedience for a higher human good. What may be best for me may not be fair to you or best for us all.

Character allows us to consider other factors than merely our pleasure or profit and doesn’t seek to benefit at someone else’s expense. Character comes by living to the truth, even when it hurts and especially when it costs you more than you’d want to pay.

When does character matter most? I can think of two places.

First, character is critical whenever you give someone power. Raw power uncontrolled by a moral compass and sense of fairness will wreak havoc in the long term, even if it serves your interests in an immediate circumstance. The same way my evangelical friends have felt despised by leftist politicians and the media for decades are now unwittingly creating that same resentment in those Mr. Trump despises. It’s a no-win game. You may hold the cards now, but you eventually won’t, and there will be dividends to pay you’ve not yet considered.

Without character in our national leaders, they will always put party above country, and their gain above the common good. Lacking integrity, a President will continue to risk American blood and treasure in an unwinnable war as Johnson and Nixon did in Vietnam, and now we are learning that Bush and Obama did the same in Afghanistan. A lack of character allows so-called “public servants” to take financial rewards for friends and family instead of fighting for equal access for all.

Character doesn’t change just because the financial reward grows greater, or the need to win an election becomes more acute. I’ll admit it’s hard to find anyone on the national stage who has the character to be a statesman or stateswoman, but that doesn’t mean we give up looking or encouraging those in power to do better. Win-at-all-costs is a strategy that only foments further division and anger.

And it’s not just politics, don’t we want people of character acting as our CEOs, educators, military officers, religious leaders, and law enforcement? What kind of society do we become when people in high places do not have a moral compass than bends toward honesty, justice, compassion, fairness for all? We get CEOs that take excessive compensation at the cost of providing fair wages for their workers, district attorneys who charge a man they know to be innocent to get the crime off their books, religious leaders who hide the rape of children for fear public relation concerns, and military officers that cast a blind eye to harassment.

Character matters in every stratum of human society, and it matters most among those who hold power. Making society fair for you also includes making it fair for others who don’t think like you. Once we give in to the bottom line, be it in political power or maximizing profit, character gets lost, and society suffers.

Secondly, and this is for my evangelical friends, character matters most when we hope to demonstrate the nature of God to others who don’t know him. It would be fine for us to support those policies we think will make for a better nation, but to let the arrogance, mockery, and dishonesty go unchallenged is to forsake a higher calling. You most need character when it calls you to do what’s right, even when it costs you what your self-interest desires.

When you think President Trump either needs to be roundly condemned or blindly defended, you have already purchased a seat on the train of illusion that wraps religion in a flag and uses it to divide this country further and as we’ve seen in the last few weeks. Peggy Wehmeyer, a journalist based in Dallas, expressed her frustration at fellow evangelicals, “What has really troubled me from the beginning is why can’t people say on the one hand, ‘We love what he’s done on religious liberty, abortion and the economy,’ but on the other hand, say that ‘As Christians whose allegiance is to Jesus Christ, his behavior is despicable’?”

When Jesus’ followers are marked by a political agenda, be it on the right or left, especially one that prides itself in mockery, deception, and putting down others, people will be confused about the Gospel as well. If God’s followers don’t demonstrate his glory by how they treat everyone around them, regardless of political leanings, the light of Jesus dims.

Jesus said as much at the end of his time on earth. As he prayed before going to the cross in John 17, he talked about putting God’s glory on display by the way he lived. He demonstrated how compelling his Father was by the quality of his own person—his passion for justice and truth, and his tenderness and love for all.

And when Jesus prayed for the disciples, he said he had ‘spelled out’ God’s character to them in detail so that his life would be on display in them now. This is the evidence the godless world needs to make sense of God’s reality. (I’ll be talking more about this in days to come because displaying God’s glory is the mission he left on earth for his followers.)

Our loyalty is not primarily to change the world through the wielding of political power as satisfying as that might be to our flesh. Our allegiance is to the God who redeems us, and our passion should be for his glory to dwell in us so that we would live with the same tenderness and compassion that marked Jesus’ life. If we become associated with anything else, the message of the Gospel gets twisted in the frailties of human flesh. Even when we fall short, we can still uphold the ideals to which we aspire.

This is how the world will come to know him, not because his name appears on our t-shirts, but because his splendor is on display in our character.

__________________________________

Wayne Jacobsen writes at Lifestream and podcasts at The God Journey. He is co-author of A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation, The Shack, and many other books.

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Resurgence in Kenya

4 Comments / Kenya / January 19, 2020

I am so amazed by the number of people who hold the Kenyans in their hearts. I am often asked for updates and am sure I probably don’t provide enough. Last time I wrote toward the end of December, the people of Pokot had been through some devastating floods, destroying the villages, their crops, and their storehouses of food. You responded with money enough to help feed them and restore the damage to their farms.

I’ve received some updates this week from our friends caring for their neighbors in Pokot. The storm was devastating, but they have begun to rebuild. You can see the devastation of their homes on the left. On the right below you can see the crops beginning to grow again as they have rebuilt the irrigation systems, thanks to your generosity.

Here’s what they wrote:

We would like to thank you so much, actually the help was a great rescue to the community. And since the plumber and his team who are fixing and replacing the destroyed pipes and other things, they will continue till next week. The damage was so big. But we thank God for your quick intervention. The environmental department has contacted us so that they can teach the community how they can protect from the destruction in future. This includes making terraces around the farm and planting trees to prevent soil erosion and avoid future damage.

The committees, through our coaches, called us to thank you and the team for the support of the irrigation program. This program has had a great impact on their food security in that region. The irrigation has been fixed and is now working but the community is out of food. Even those working on farm don’t have the energy to do that job.

We have estimated that to sustain these three village with food will take536 bags of maize, 90 bags of beans, and Transportation, which will cost $23,600.

I am sorry to come back to you so soon for this need, but it seems we are the only ones in the world that stand between them and starvation. I thought the money we sent in December would be enough, but they hadn’t planned on the three additional months. If you would like to help with this need you follow the links below, and if you know others who might be touched by this need, please pass this information along. You have always responded so generously and I am grateful.

As always, every dollar you send us gets to Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Thank you for your concern and your prayers. And, if you are in a place to help, please give generous

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The Focused Life

4 Comments / Uncategorized / January 13, 2020

Over the past few weeks I have been recording the audio version of In Season: Embracing the Father’s Process for Fruitfulness, and then this weekend it was time to prune the four grapevines I have in my back yard. And it just so happens that I’ve been undergoing a bit of pruning in my spiritual life as well. So, I have been freshly reminded of how much I love those stories from the vineyard, and how much I appreciate the Father’s engagement in helping us find our fulfillment in him so that his fruitfulness can take hold in a transformed heart.

Except for some snowy scenes at Christmas time, winter seems to be the most unpopular season. Spiritually, however, I’ve come to appreciate it deeply. At no other time does the farmer have so much influence on his vine’s fruitfulness. In the slowing cold of winter, the Master can cut off all the extraneous branches to focus our lives on the few things he wants us to do well, rather than being driven by the demands of our circumstances.

Having read these passages recently, I wanted to share them again with you from In Season:

The slowed days of winter fly in the face of our frenetic pace of life. This is the gardener leading his vineyards to rest in the same way the shepherd takes his sheep to green pastures and quiet waters. There they lie down to rest. The waters that nurse them are quiet, not raging. If we learned this well enough, perhaps the expression “to be busy for God” would be an oxymoron. It is the world that invites us to busyness. Take it from one who used to find most of his identity in a crammed schedule, proving by activity his worth to God. It is a fool’s trap that has made busyness a coveted merit badge in the kingdom of God.
God doesn’t want our busyness; he wants our trust. Having our trust, he knows we will respond to him and his ways as life unfolds before us.

When we are drawn away from our busyness then we’re free to submit to God’s reshaping of how we live our days, more focused on him and less manipulated by the illusions around us:

Pruning is God’s invitation to lay down those things that no longer need to take up our time and energy and move on to new things that will inspire us and help others. Through it, God resets our focus so that we can concentrate on what he wants us to do. Better to do one thing fruitfully than a lot of things that only turn out to be empty foliage.
I know people like that. In fact, I’ve been like that myself. Externally I looked productive, busily rushing from one meeting to another or jumping from one project to the next. Leaves everywhere! How intoxicating busyness can be. But I couldn’t find the fruit. My spiritual life was so diluted by my myriad of activities that none of them were bearing anything more than paltry, unripened fruit.
Busyness is not the goal of a conscientious believer; fruitfulness is. Not every request that comes my way is God’s will for me to accept. Good opportunities are not necessarily godly ones. Expectations pushed on us by others are not the directions Jesus invites us to follow.
Paul wrote to Titus that, “The grace of God teaches us to say no.” That means we can say no to the worldly passions that destroy us and no to the opportunities that overwhelm us.
Notice that it’s not fear that teaches us to say no, but grace. Because we can trust God and know that he will lead us into the fullness of joy, we are free to say no even to the things that we desire, whether good or bad.
Jesus said no to the enemy’s temptations, knowing that God’s way was better. He didn’t rush to Lazarus’ side when he first heard he was sick. He stayed two days longer to finish what he was doing before he joined the friends he deeply loved. Given Paul’s explanations in his epistles, he didn’t rush to churches that desired him to come either. He followed God’s agenda instead.
Recognizing that we are branches on his vine will free us to focus on the few things that God has really called us to do. That’s the only way to be fruitful. Draw near to God and let him show you what his plans are. His grace will teach you to say no to those that aren’t.

We hope to have the audio out in a month or so. We’ll let you know here…

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One Conversation at a Time

5 Comments / Uncategorized / December 30, 2019

Our hope for A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation is that it would change the way people interact with those around them. I love the stories where that is happening. Here are two I got just last week that really touched me:

Our publisher sent me this story after going into a Barnes and Noble in Colorado:

Out of curiosity, I attempted to find a copy of A Language of Healing. I was unable to locate it so I asked a customer service rep to see if they had it. She informed me that unfortunately they were sold out but that they could try and ship a copy to me in time for Christmas. I thanked her but declined, informing her that I was associated with the publishing company for A Language of Healing.
She got very excited and told me that her 14-year-old son loved the book. He is very passionate about politics and has been asking some very challenging questions about some of the current issues in today’s political atmosphere. The Barnes and Noble employee went on to say that there were a lot of books that B&N sells that she does not see the point in even carrying. She wanted me to express her deepest thanks in taking the risk to write a book worthy of the world’s attention and told me she has intentionally sold several copies after reading it for herself with her son.

Then, I got a series of texts from a good friend who lives in Mississippi:

Earlier in the day, he had met a Methodist pastor living in the area. After a brief conversation, my friend invited the pastor to go to dinner some evening with their wives and further the conversation. They exchanged cell numbers, but a bit later when my friend texted the pastor to firm up dinner arrangements he got back this text:
“Thank you for your gracious offer but our political views and views on faith are pretty much on opposite ends of the spectrum. My wife will be running as a Democrat in the state legislature. We appreciate the invitation and are glad you love this community like we do but we would rather not enter into a situation that would make either or both of us uncomfortable.”
My friend responded: “I got your text. Perhaps we could start with a coffee at Starbucks for just you and me? I’m sorry if I did anything to create the idea that friendship depends on agreement. In fact, I’d say just the opposite. Attached is a book called “A Language of Healing…” which I recently endorsed at the request of the authors. You will see that conversations don’t make me uncomfortable at all. I understand however if you or your wife are not up for that. By the way, I’m not even a Republican anymore so being with Democrats is definitely no problem. Happy New Year”
With the text, he sent photos of the front and back cover of the book, and his endorsement inside it.
Shortly after, he got the following text: “I am pleasantly surprised. You did not do anything to make me think that friendships depend on agreement. All I had to go on was info I found on Google about your past political views and so thought we might not enjoy each other’s company. I have ordered the book and will give it a read. After I have finished it you and I can get together for coffee. Thanks for your gracious response.
To which my friend responded: “Sure. Google and Facebook are from some hellish demon, or at least that’s my opinion based on experience. It’s too easy nowadays to dislike someone from a distance. I am quite confident we can smile about any differences. Thanks.
He agreed to meet for coffee!

In such small moments the culture begins to turn.

Who can you build a bridge with in 2020?

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With Gratefulness from Kenya

Kenya / December 17, 2019

Your response over the last ten days has been overwhelming. You have no idea how many lives you saved and how many families in North Pokot that you have blessed. So many of you came alongside these dear people who were ravaged by floods in the north of Kenya that we were able to send over $45,000 to help with immediate food and bedding supplies last week. Thank you so much for responding so quickly and with such overwhelming generosity. Sara and I have been overwhelmed with joy at your response.

This morning, I heard back from our friends from Kitale who took the supplies your funds bought and delivered them in North Pokot. They were able to take food into North Pokot over the past weekend to bring relief to the people there and sent pictures of what your generous contributions were able to accomplish.

Hi Brother Wayne,
Greetings in the most powerful name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, we thank you and all the team who stood with us for the emergency which by the flood, we have just returned this evening after a long journey. We did get stuck on the road, but God is faithful we managed to reach safety. Glory to the Lord!
Otherwise, the community appreciated so much for the support and thank God for the provision of food, blankets, mattresses, and other essential things.

The truck they hired to take food and supplies to North Pokot.

Rejoicing for the food supplies to sustain them.

Distributing mattresses and bedding to replace what the floods swept away.

It looks like the rains have subsided and they are now preparing to rebuild their lives. I will get back to you when we know better what it will cost to rebuild the agricultural projects and the storehouses for their food. We will also be expanding the warehouse at the Forkland School water project since the demand is outrunning their facility we built there last spring.

So, we can still use your help. As always, every dollar you send us gets to Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Thank you for your concern and your prayers. Rejoice with us! God has provided out of your generosity.

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The Current Crisis in Kenya: Update

1 Comment / Kenya / December 9, 2019

I wrote last week about the horrific crisis unfolding in West Pokot where we have been helping tribal groups of people recover from a sustained drought that completely changed their economy. For five years we have been investing over $1.5 million dollars to help them with food, water, medical, and educational needs as well as help jump-start a sustainable economy. Over the past week torrential floods, the first ever in that region, have wiped out their villages and destroyed much of the progress that they made. Over 65 people have died. You can view a BBC report on the crisis here.

In response to my blog last week we received about $5,000 over this past weekend to help with that relief. Today, I received an update for their immediate needs just to care for the families involved, that our friends have been helping:

Today we have received the report from our coaches regarding the affected villages. They also added another one—Ngetut Village—to the list of casualties. That’s three villages including Olorwo/Compass and Chemyon/Kasoyan. About 630 households with their families have lost everything. They are so desperate with no blankets, mattresses or food.
The local government, NGOs and other bodies are working tirelessly to see that people are getting food and other necessities in other places, but they have not reached these villages with any help. We request for emergency to help the situation as soon as God provides.
We do not yet know about the damage to our agricultural projects. Our coaches have not yet gotten to the site to see how it was damaged. As soon as the rain stop, we shall go and find out with our coaches.
Here is our immediate need:
Food supplies (maize, beans, salt, sugar) – $34,390
Bedding – $4560
Transportation to Pokot – $2300
Reconstruction of latrines $3300
Total emergency Request – $44,550.

Please pray for these people and if you can give anything to help give them this week, please send it as soon as you can. Keep in mind that the people asking us for this money already live in poverty themselves, but they are asking for money to help fellow Kenyans who are in far worse shape than they are. We want to try to send them $44,550 in the next day or two if you can help. And please keep in mind, this is only for immediate relief. We will also need funds to rebuild the agricultural projects that were destroyed. I’m grateful to so many of you who responded last week. Thank you. We do need some more to meet our $44,550 goal.

If you know of others who might be touched by this need, please pass this information along.

Thank you for your concern and your prayers. And, if you are in a place to help, please give generously.

The Current Crisis in Kenya: Update Read More »

Let’s Change the Conversation…

8 Comments / Behind the Scenes / December 4, 2019

When you combine courage with compassion, the world can change.

The last two weeks have been crazy launching this A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation, first in Dallas and then in Los Angeles. We found each audience incredibly engaged with wanting to change their own conversations from fear and suspicion to mutual respect and being able to see the world through the eyes of those they have long regarded as “the opposition.” I know what a joy that has been just working on this book and over the last year finding myself seeking out conversations with people who are different than me, not to explain my point of view, but to truly understand theirs.

This is where change begins, not in Washington, but in the next conversation you have and the next relationship you seek out. This book invites you to have different conversations with friends and family, colleagues and co-workers, neighbors, and even strangers. As you move outside your comfort zone with a more generous heart, especially toward those who are different than you, the world can change. I heard a marvelous story yesterday of a friend in traffic school engaging a young man who was being picked on by others in the class. My friend is Hispanic, and the young man was Caucasian, so immediately, the walls went up. But my friend pressed through them, offering to buy him lunch, and by the end of the day, they had struck up a friendship that put the bullies at bay. The young man was so grateful.

We’ve heard from people in the U.K., France, and Spain, hoping this book will also help the polarized climate in which they live. Imagine if enough of us lived more generously in the world, moving past our imagined barriers to care about people who are different from us? That doesn’t mean we become less passionate about the things we care about for our nation, but we’ll also be able to appreciate the concerns of others as well. We are not as divided as our political parties or media want us to believe. There is enough common ground to share our hopes and aspirations and find solutions that are fair to our differences.

We are already hearing from a few colleges and universities that are considering using the book in their cultural studies programs, and from a political party county chairperson who is hoping this book can help build some bipartisan bridges in her own community

Would you help us change the conversation as well?

If so, get the book and read it if you haven’t already.

If you have and think it worthy, would you help us spread the word? There’s nothing more powerful than word-of-mouth recommendation from passionate readers. Here are some ideas that will help more than you know:

Write a review for Amazon (and copy it to Goodreads). It only needs to be a sentence or two. Tell people what you think of this book. These reviews make a huge difference in Amazon’s algorithms recommending this book to others.
If you host a podcast or blog, please consider having one or all of us as a guest to discuss the book.
If you have a favorite radio talk show or podcast, send an email to the host and recommend they do an interview with one or all of the authors. We are all making ourselves available to discuss this book wherever and however the doors open. Listener-suggested topics carry a lot of weight.
On your social media feeds, post pictures of yourself with the book, reading it, or of it laying on your end table or bedside stand. Use the picture from this blog post if you want. There are many more on my Facebook Author page. We want to fill the Internet with photos of the book on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram,
Post your favorite quote(s) from the book along with a picture of the cover, or post how it is changing the way you relate to people in your life. Personal stories are the best!
Feel free to tag us authors, Bob Prater, Arnita Willis Taylor, and Wayne Jacobsen
Use the hashtag: #ALanguageOfHealing wherever you can and link to the website ALanguageOfHealing.com or Amazon sales page wherever it is appropriate.
Consider the book as a Christmas gift to friends or coworkers.
If you’re already in a book group, suggest this one. If you’re not, organize one for your neighborhood or family to discuss how we can change the conversation to one of greater respect and understanding.

There’s no big media company behind this book and we don’t anticipate that the national media will love it since we give them a pretty good knock for increasing the polarization to generate sales and attract viewers. I do think this book is worthy of a hearing in our culture and I am excited to see what might happen if enough people are captured by its message to live a bit differently in their day-to-day interactions.

Thank you for whatever help you can lend us. Of course, what’s most important for all of us is not just getting the book out there, but taking seriously some of the encouragements in the book to live differently and engage people every day with greater generosity and kindness. That’s how the world will change, even if it’s only a small corner of it where you live.

Let’s Change the Conversation… Read More »

A Crazy, Crazy Few Weeks

1 Comment / Behind the Scenes / November 8, 2019

Why has this page been so quiet? Because the last few weeks have been a bit crazy, and the next couple will be the same.

The above photo was my view last weekend, getting a walk in the woods as the day began. I was in Ohio on a two-day turn-around from Sara and my week away. The temperature was 34 degrees, so it was a brisk four-mile walk. Ohio!??! It wasn’t on my travel schedule, but for personal reasons, I felt nudged to spend some time with dear friends in northeast Ohio, near Millersburg, that God has connected me to over the years. Some others in the area came to join us, and I heard some amazing stories of how at desperate moments my life intersected with theirs. I was touched at what God does. Do people really Google, “I don’t want to go to church anymore,” and get to my website? (Not anymore, as I checked today!)

It was a crazy, rushed trip as I had to get back and help coach some storytellers that are part of a one-year commemoration of the mass shooting at Borderline Bar and Grill that took twelve undeserving lives. Hearing police officers, firefighters, parents, and survivors talk about that experience a year ago has been incredibly moving. The final event is tomorrow night. One year ago today those young people were murdered then within twenty-four hours 250,000 people from my community were evacuated in the dead of night in the face of two encroaching wildfires. Everyone in our community has vivid memories of those days.

After that, we are gearing up for the release of my new book, A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation, along with coauthors Bob Prater and Arnita Taylor. We’ll all be in Dallas next week, doing a six-hour class together on Saturday (November 16) before our official release the next day. If you’re in the area or would like to fly in you can get details on the website above either for the Saturday seminar or the Sunday afternoon/evening book launches.

Then the following weekend Bob and Arnita are coming to Southern California where we will be recording the audio version of the book as well as having our own book launch here. You can join us at Life Pacific University on Saturday, November 22. Details are also on the Language of Healing Website and you can RSVP there. Then, on Sunday afternoon November 24, we will be meeting with the CultureBrave at Cultural Interiors, 4421 W. Slauson Ave. L.A. CA. 90043. There is ample parking in the back and refreshments will be served!

This book’s pre-sales have already put it at #1 on Amazon’s list of books about war and peacemaking. Amazon has ordered thousands of them and we’re excited by the feedback we are getting from our early readers. Join us if you can at one of the events above because I’d love to introduce you to Bob and Arnita. You can also pre-order your copy now from a number of outlets.

When we get done with this launch Thanksgiving will be upon us and soon the holidays and a new year. I haven’t worked out my travel yet, waiting to see how this new book influences the places I need to go, but I am actively considering trips in 2020 to, Florida, Oklahoma, Michigan, upstate New York, South Carolina, and West Texas. It will be interesting to see what God has in store in the days to come.

In addition to all of that, it’s my daughter’s birthday today, which we get to celebrate with an early dinner, and then late tonight the grandkids are coming for the entire weekend! My heart revels in such moments as these kids are growing so fast! Even faster than ours, I think!

A Crazy, Crazy Few Weeks Read More »

Meet the Authors of A Language of Healing

Language of Healing / October 31, 2019

Sara and I are just back from our week away, and it was glorious! Life is full now with getting our new book released and available. But first, let me assure everyone that Sara and I are doing fine in the face of all the wildfires going on in Southern California since our return. I’ve received numerous texts, emails, and messages asking about how we’re being affected by these fires. Firefighters won the day in our area yesterday and it is much quieter today. There are very few losses in our county and we are grateful.

For the time being, Sara and I, and Julie and her family are not in danger. We have fires to our east and northeast, with winds blowing toward the southwest. We got a bit of smoke yesterday, but it is much better today. Your prayers and concern are deeply appreciated. There are some other more dangerous fires burning out on the east side of LA today, but the winds are supposed to end late morning.

Now, let me share with you a new video of Bob Prater, Arnita Taylor, and me, talking about our new book, A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation that releases November 19. They were also my guests on this week’s episode of The God Journey, in a podcast called Erring on the Side of Love.

It couldn’t be more timely given the times we live in. Check out the latest Pew Research on the escalating polarization of our nation. We have to have a better conversation that leads to generosity and respect, even to those who don’t see the world the way we do. We hope this book will help generate that conversation. You can pre-order the book here.

The comments in this video were made the weekend we began work on this book, and I can honestly say the process and our engagements with each other were greater than we had hoped.

The video link is here – https://vimeo.com/369947815 if you’d like to share it with your friends. And here’s a link to an Instagram-friendly forty-five-second version – https://vimeo.com/369949507.

Thanks for helping us get the word out.

Meet the Authors of A Language of Healing Read More »

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