Note: This is the sixteenth in a series of letters written for those living at the end of the age, whenever that comes in the next fifteen years or the next one hundred and fifty years. We have already released the first part of this book in print. Or you can access the previous chapters here. If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to ensure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.
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I love what you started with Francesca. I, too, am tired of trying to change myself and want to see God take shape in me. Is that what Paul meant when he wrote about the renewing of our mind?
— Gilbert, a 22-year-old seminary student in Chicago, IL
Hi Gilbert,
Exactly. The renewing of the mind is the process by which he takes shape in us. Popular culture today would probably refer to that as the rewiring of our brain, which is a much more powerful image.
We know now that people who were abused as children suffered trauma that wired their brains to react to circumstances differently than those who have not had trauma. That’s why trying to get them to act differently is fruitless. They live under the constant perception of threat and react by fighting, flight, or fawning.
Without minimizing people who have suffered horrible trauma by abuse or war, I wonder if God views our sins and failures like I have come to view Sara’s childhood trauma. There’s no blame, only compassion to help her find freedom.
We were all born with a self-preferring nature in a hostile world. Without Jesus, we were helpless against the power of sin, even when we tried to do better. Furthermore, sin caused us to feel abandoned by the God who made us. Those are classic characteristics of trauma—a lack of agency to protect ourselves and a feeling of abandonment by the one who is supposed to care for us.
So, yes, Jesus wants to rewire our brains so we no longer react to the lies of darkness and self-indulgence. That’s why Jesus didn’t live trying to follow the rules. Instead, he lived with a mind shaped by his Father’s affection. That allowed him to grasp the truth about himself and his world.
Because he thought differently, he saw people and circumstances as they really were. That’s why he was tuned into their needs and could treat them with compassion, tenderness, and humility. You can’t substitute law, rules, or guidelines for that. It’s a glorious process that goes far deeper than a mere behavioral change. We cannot do it for ourselves; he has to do it in us.
As Jesus settles us in Father’s love, we will be able to recognize the truth of what’s going on around us. We’ll respond out of his love and trust instead of reacting out of our doubts and fears. We won’t need God to tell us what to do at every moment because we learn to think the way he does. Transformation in our actions begins with our engagement with God. He rewires how we think, which will change how we live—naturally and organically. We don’t bring our effort to that process; we only have to offer a willing heart and the patience to see the process through.
As an added benefit, when we realize we can’t change ourselves, we won’t fall prey to the misguided notion that we can change others. We can encourage them both by our words and example, but forcing people to do what we think best will only backfire. Paul was so committed to that process that it felt like giving birth. “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you,” Galatians 4:19
Watching Jesus take shape in us is a miraculous process, often rising out of difficult moments when we give way to his leading instead of saving ourselves. As our trust grows in him, he is formed in us and makes himself known in the world.
The last chapter discussed how that produces sincere love and resilient trust. Now, we’ll look at three other characteristics that evidence Jesus taking shape in us: generous compassion, tender authenticity, and bold humility. Just remember, this is not what we pretend to be; it is what we become as he takes shape in us.
Generous Compassion
I suspect deep compassion was humanity’s default setting before the fall. When unexpected adversity befalls people, almost everyone still displays it. Something deep inside us responds with empathy and concern for people in need, enough to move us to action if we have the means. The problem is that it is either short-lived or provoked by tragedy.
We pass people daily with deep wounds and needs without truly seeing or stopping to help. It’s often too overwhelming to add other people’s pain to our own. Generous compassion is not a generalized feeling of love for the masses; it is the fruit of loving “one another,” each person God gives us, one at a time. It is sacred to be touched by the need of another human enough to call us to action.
So, how does walking with Jesus allow this generous compassion to take shape?
First, the more we walk with him, the more clearly we’ll see how much he cares for us. When we no longer fight to get through the day, we will be more aware of others. We’ll finally see them for the first time because we’re not so absorbed in ourselves. That alone will stimulate our compassion and help us see the needs of others alongside our own.
Second, as I come to know a generous Father, I will want to join him in his generosity. For a long time, overwhelmed with my needs, I didn’t see God as generous. He seemed to withhold what good he could do for reasons I didn’t understand. However, as I became more conversant with how he works, I saw his generosity every day. He did not necessarily give me everything I wanted, but he was always there to provide what I needed in abundance. How do you not share that?
Third, as Jesus untangles our fears and doubts, we have more emotional space to take an interest in people. No one will blurt out their needs to strangers, but they will open up to people with whom they are comfortable. Their struggles will easily touch us as we get to know them and offer whatever we can to alleviate their pain. We can hold their hurts, offering a caring heart, a listening ear, emotional support, time, or money.
Fourth, we won’t block compassion as it stirs us. We’ve all learned tactics to help us push away compassion as it surges in us. We look for ways to blame others for their needs or comfort ourselves by minimizing their pain. But when we let compassion grow, we’ll know how to respond to them. Even when we are suffering at their hand, we will be able to respond like Jesus and Stephen did when they were being unfairly executed. “Forgive them; they do not know what they do.” Even the failures of the worst perpetrators are driven more by ignorance than intention, which opens the door to forgiveness.
The early English translations of the Bible described Jesus as being moved by “bowels of compassion.” This expression is not used much today, even though most people feel empathy or compassion in their guts. We obviously can’t engage every person whose path we cross on a given day, but we can recognize in our own bodies when Jesus gives us compassion for another person.
That’s why in the parable of the sheep and the goats, those caring for Jesus when he was naked, hungry, alone, or imprisoned had no idea they were doing it. “When did we see you that way?” It wasn’t an act; their actions were driven by compassion. When you see Jesus inside needy people, you can’t help but respond to them.
Learn to recognize God’s generous compassion toward you, and sharing it with others will become second nature.
A Tender Authenticity
Who doesn’t want to live an authentic life? How often have we walked away from conversations frustrated that we were too afraid to say what was on their minds, caving into what others might have wanted from us? We want to be accepted by people or at least not allow their judgment to feed our self-condemnation.
Thus, we lose our ability to be genuine and honest as we play the games that seek to “win friends and influence people.” Unfortunately, that means we live as chameleons, trying to impress people instead of being true to our authentic selves. That’s a lonely life because no one knows who you really are.
One of the best gifts about being affirmed in the Father’s love is that the opinions of others carry less weight. Both Jesus and Paul warned us that when we seek the approval of others, we won’t know the truth about anything—God, ourselves, or the situation we’re trapped in. Inside his love, we get to discover who we really are, and we’ll find we no longer need others to think well of us.
The freedom to live authentically is a great gift, but by itself, it can make us obnoxious. In learning authenticity, many often overcompensate, speaking arrogantly or brashly so no one can appreciate what they’re trying to say. That’s why tenderness is so essential to add to authenticity. Though Jesus was truth itself, he took great care not to break a bruised reed or snuff out a smoldering wick. (Matthew 12:20) He didn’t want to add pain to the weakest or most marginalized members of society.
Tenderness allows us to be authentic in the world and not damage others. It rises in us from Jesus’s example in the Gospels and in how he treats us. He is always faithful to himself but reveals no more than his audience can hear. He only resorted to stringent rebukes when his gentler overtures did not open a door, and even that fell on deaf ears.
I don’t want my authenticity to overrun others or my speaking truth to cause another to stumble. The power of truth is most readily received when it comes with gentleness. It is hard enough to hear without our demeanor making people defensive instead of open. Can you imagine the freedom in any circumstance to be authentic and have enough love to be tender even toward those trying to harm you?
In every encounter, we can look for that sweet spot where we never have to be less than ourselves. At the same time, we can approach everyone with a tenderness that will open the widest door to productive and fruitful relationships.
A Bold Humility
In our culture, boldness is associated with pushy arrogance, and humility with being a cowering wallflower. Neither serves Jesus or his purpose in the world.
The people who have the least to say are often the first to speak up when an issue arises. They either crave attention or think of themselves as experts at everything. Just as often, those with something meaningful to say sit back, unwilling to fight for a place. As a result, we hear plenty of meaningless noise and little true wisdom.
In these last days, it is time for the wise to be bold without losing a sense of humility. They may get drowned out by more selfish voices, but their words will be there for those who have an ear to hear.
Where does this boldness come from? Boldness on God’s behalf rises because love cannot remain silent in the face of abuse, deception, or destructive behaviors. When you care about those victimized by darkness, you will want to help them see God’s light. However, this boldness will be a thousand times more effective if it rises from a humble heart.
And where does this humility come from? Anyone on the adventure of getting to know God realizes they don’t possess all the answers. They have been wrong so often that they hold lightly what they think they know now. While they are confident in what Jesus has taught them, they know they cannot force it on others. They have learned through numerous failures that truth in God’s kingdom comes as an invitation, not a demand.
Inside Jesus, we have nothing to prove, nothing to gain, and nothing to lose. Although they recognize that they have no power or responsibility to change the world or anyone in it, they can still point to the light in ways that give even their detractors the best opportunity to see it. Truly authentic people can speak the truth gently, often with a provocative question or an insightful observation.
Paul wrote that when he spoke to people, he set “forth the truth plainly commending ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.” (2 Corinthians 4:2) His goal was not to convince but to be as clear as he could and leave it to the Spirit and to conscience to convince and convict. That’s the humility we need today. Their boldness will put truth into play, but with a humility that allows people to hear it.
Here’s the miracle: the more God takes shape in you, the more you become who you truly are. He doesn’t take you over; he expresses himself through you in the way that best befits who he created you to be.
All five of these characteristics overlap in so many ways, creating a symphony in which God reveals himself to the world. That’s the strength of character God wants on display in the world. I could have summed all this up with the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Anyone who reflects genuine love, resilient trust, generous compassion, tender authenticity, and bold humility will undoubtedly be a gift in a tormented world.
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