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Our latest edition of The God Journey entitled The Angst Between Innies and Outies has just been posted on our sister website thegodjourney.com.

Christianity Today’s current review of George Barna’s book, Revolution, highlights the misunderstanding and increasing polarization between those who see the church only as a traditional congregation and those looking for more relational expressions of body life. Wayne and Brad wade into the conflict between those who are in and those who are out to invite us all to lower the temper of the debate and open the doors of communication and compassion between fellow-believers however he calls us to walk out our life in him. It is easy to understand why those who embrace more traditional forms would feel threatened by those leaving it, and why those leaving might feel the need to condemn what failed them so. But is this really serving Father’s purpose in the world?

A dear sister from New Zealand wrote me the other day about something God is doing in her life. She was responding to something I wrote in an earlier blog: “Your work is to simply follow him there. When you do he will place you among the body just as he desires and you will know the joy of sharing a growing dependency on him with other members of his body.†She wrote to tell me how Jesus was doing this in her life.

I am beginning to experience what you talked about here. First there is Ingrid. She is employed to help me at the swimming pool. She has a police record but she had the chance of a job because I signed a disclaimer. She comes from a Mormon background and has done some foolish things in her life. Father told me to offer to pray for her. She accepted. I see her twice a week and just share with her as Father leads. I have given her your book, He Loves Me and I just keep telling her he does. That idea has revolutionised my approach. I used to start with the fact we were sinners.

Next there is Alannah who I used to know at the Sunday meetings. She was a bit disillusioned with the Sunday services and has since left. I just kept bumping into her ‘accidentally’ but now we often arrange to meet.

Yesterday I met Maureen at the pool. Another I used to know at the Sunday meetings 20 years ago. She has left the Pentecostals and is attending the seventh day. She is not the first I know, who being disillusioned with the Pentecostals, has gone to legalistic (non spirit led?) groups. We had a good talk and she said, “I can see Jesus in you.†What more could I ask? I gave her the Lifestream website.

Life has become so exciting!

I love this. It is amazing what God can do when we’re just free to give our lives away to the people he’s already put right in front of us, instead of trying to find or organize people into some kind of group experience that we want. Relationships are about people not groups; groups happen because enough people have found relationships with each other and desire to share those relationships with others. I love the simplicity and power of this process and how it encourages us to keep our eyes open for people we can love and serve.

Emails like this really touch my heart… Obviously this man is feeling quite desperate, but I love the reality with which he is sorting out the empty place religion leaves in the human heart, even for those who think they lead it. Here is his cry and my response:

Well, how can I say this? I am 51 years old, been involved in ministry all my life, thought I loved the Father and knew Him but over the past 3 years I have become painfully aware that I have never had any significant relationship with the Father or other people. The struggle is intense. I feel as if I have thrown my life away.

I want to know and love the Lord. The hunger consumes my every thought and is my only desire. He seems so far away and disinterested. I need to find the Father and His love. This burden of doubt and distrust is eating me alive.

Please, if you find time, pray for me and my wife and my children.

My response: As painful as this may be right now, Father is undoubtedly opening your eyes to some incredible things. Yes, I know how painful it can be and how wasted our previous years might seem. But I think you’ll find that even though we may have been less aware of his presence in us, his work was still going on. No doubt, with a heart like yours, you’ve had a profound touch on people in the past about which you might be completely unaware.

But I want to encourage you to keep leaning into him and let him grow this relationship with you because there is nothing better. Though he may seem so far away and disinterested, that is not his nature. It often seems that way when we are focused on our own efforts to know him, rather than his power to draw us to him. I know that is easier to write than live, but God does not begin what he does not complete.

You have my prayers, and I’d be happy to help however I can. If you want to read my own personal journey through a similar time you might want to read my book, He Loves Me. It is available on my website as a free download in PDF version… That might help some, but ultimately this is something God is sorting out in you. This will be a wonderful season in your life, though you will know that far better by hindsight than you can possibly appreciate today.

Just ask him to make himself known to you however he desires. Don’t think of all you ‘should do’ to make this happen. Just keep a surrendered heart before him and do whatever he puts in your heart to do…

Our latest edition of The God Journey entitled Learning to Listen has just been posted on our sister website thegodjourney.com.

The idea that God speaks to normal people in the course of their daily lives is still a controversial concept among Christians. Wayne and Brad often refer to God’s leading as a significant factor in their relationship with God and their journey. In this podcast they discuss how a daily, ongoing conversation with God is a normal part of the relationship he desires with his people. They share what that looks like in their own lives, how it integrates with their use of the Scriptures and how we can encourage others in this incredible process of learning to recognize his voice and have the courage to follow through with the things he makes clear to us.

I have just finished reading Nelson Mandela’s autobiography, Long Walk To Freedom. What a great read! I met so many people, black and white, in South Africa this summer that spoke of Mandela with deep admiration and respect for how he helped liberate South Africa from racial oppression. He spent 27 years away from home and family as a political prisoner, and came out of that incarceration with the language of reconciliation not vengeance. I wanted to read his story and see what made him tick.

It is a marvelous story of someone’s passion for freedom and the price he was willing to pay to help his entire nation get there. Many times he could have chosen a simpler course for himself that would have just made the best of the status quo, and instead he continued to risk his own personal well-being for a larger freedom. How could he do it? Perhaps this quote from the last few pages of his book give you some clue:

It was the desire for the freedom of my people to live their lives with dignity and self-respect that animated my life, that transformed a frightened young man into a bold one, that drove a law-abiding attorney to become a criminal, that turned a family-loving husband into a man without a home, that forced a life-loving man to live like a monk. I am no more virtuous or self-sacrificing than the next man, but I found that I could not enjoy the poor and limited freedoms I was allowed when I knew my people were not free. Freedom is indivisible; the chains on any one of my people were chains on all of them, the chains on all of my people were the chains on me.

It was during those long and lonely years that my hunger for the freedom of my own people became a hunger for the freedom of all people, white and black. I knew as well as I knew anything that the oppressor must be liberated just as surely as the oppressed. A man who takes away another man’s freedom is a prisoner of hatred, he is locked behind the bars of prejudice and narrow-mindedness. I am not truly free if I am taking away someone else’s freedom, just as surely as I am not free when my freedom is taken from me. The oppressed and he oppressor alike are robbed of their humanity.

When I walked out of prison, that was my mission, to liberate the oppressed and the oppressor both. Some say that has now been achieved. But I know that is not the case. The truth is that we are not yet free; we have merely achieved the freedom to be free, the right not to be oppressed. We have not taken the final step of our journey, but the first step on a longer and even more difficult road. For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others. The true test of our devotion to freedom is just beginning.

I have walked the long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.

I realize Mandela’s view of freedom is somewhat different from my own and I realize the price he paid has been far greater than I have ever been asked to pay. But I also find that we have a similar heartbeat. On my journey I have continued to hear the whisper of the Spirit, “Set my people free.” That has carried me through so many seasons, and as I stand at the bring of 2006, I second Mandela’s words, “my walk is not yet ended…”

I have enjoyed slowing down over the last few days, enjoying my family and some quieter moments on my own. I’ve enjoyed some reading and some long walks with Sara and the dogs and some of our other family in the woods near my parents’ home and in our neighborhood.

Sheba is our newest dog. She’s a lop-eared Shepherd/Lab cross with an exuberant spirit—sometimes too exuberant. Even though she has severe dysplasia in her hips and has pain from time to time she is the happiest dog we have ever owned. She’s not real bright, but she is always smiling, always ready to do something fun and a joy to be around. Well, most of the time.

The thing I hate most to do with this dog is take her for a walk. We’re trying to teach her not to pull on the lead, but simply walk along with us. Even though we’ve got one of those 16-foot retractable leashes, she constantly strains to get beyond it. It’s as if she can’t wait to get to the next place. But when she gets there she is already trying to get to the next one. It’s nuts, really. She can’t enjoy any place she is at the moment, because she’s always trying to get somewhere else. And if she spots another dog, it’s all over. She won’t listen to reason at all until the dog is out of sight.

As I grew impatient with her last night on a long walk with Sara, calling Sheba back again and again and again from pulling on the lead, I realized she is more like me than I care to admit. Only in the last few years have I begun to learn to live contentedly in Father’s work in my life. Most of my spiritual life I have strained against Jesus’ presence in my life. I have always tried to push him on to something else instead of staying in the moment with him, knowing that he is taking me on in his time, not mine.

It made me think how much more fun it would be to walk with Sheba if she stayed alongside me. Her constant straining against the lead and pulling at my arm gets tiresome and frustrating. I wonder if that’s been true for Jesus in my walk with him. I sense somehow that though he is patient with our impatience, he is indeed blessed when we learn to trust him enough not to pull him where we want to go, but to find contentedness by just being with him wherever he wants to take us.

And I wonder if that’s what David was thinking when he wrote: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.†Psalm 32:8-9

Contentedness is a great gift in this kingdom. It isn’t the same as complacency. It is going on with him, but allowing him to set that agenda, not trying to control it ourselves. I would love to come to the place where he needs no leash with me because I’m never further than a few feet from

Merry Christmas to all of you! What a week this has been, and I’m looking forward now to a few days with my family and extended family as we celebrate the Christmas Holiday and the coming New Year. I won’t be in the office much this season, so if you write, be patient for a response. I hope your holidays will be rewarding and relaxing for you as well. I’m going to leave you with some Christmas presents before I go:

Our latest edition of The God Journey entitled The Christmas Podcast has just been posted on our sister website thegodjourney.com.

Christmas has made quite a splash in the media this year—from holiday greetings in stores, to whether or not to have congregational services on Christmas morning. These media-concocted controversies give Brad and Wayne a chance to ruminate about all the hoopla surrounding Christmas and to consider how we as believers can truly make an impact in the world—not just on a holiday, but by letting Christ make himself known continually through us.

And for you who have been following Jake Colsen’s story, we have completed the rough draft. I just posted the last chapter and what a bittersweet moment it was! I will miss working on this book more than anything I’ve ever written. My life has literally been shaped in the last four years as I worked on this book with a good friend of mine. It seems we had to live each chapter before writing them and a book that was supposed to be completed in a year, took us almost four to complete.

But I have been so blessed by the email I’ve received from people who are now being affirmed and shaped by the content of this book. We are working on a final rewrite now and preparing it for publication early in 2006. Many people have already requested copies and we’ll get it out just as soon as we can.

Living this journey is truly a joy of all joys. Sharing that journey with so many of you over this past year in email exchanges or personal encounters is an unspeakable joy. My prayer for us all is that Jesus will keep drawing us ever closer to the heart of his Father and teach us to live simply and freely as his kids in the world. Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to you all!

I’ll let you read over my shoulder again, because I think this email exchange exposes a major battlefield for lots of people. Religion has so linked us to performance, that it blinds us to the reality of god’s love for us. This is part of an email exchange I had recently with a dear sister sorting out what it means to live in Father’s acceptance:

Thank you so much for writing. I was truly surprised to receive your response. I can only imagine how many emails you must receive. Your words caused an unexpected flood of emotions, and I cried and cried — not sure exactly why. I’ve read Jake’s book (can’t wait for the rest of it) and have also printed and am reading the BodyLife articles. You emphasize God’s love and acceptance and the fact that Jesus is working in us to build His church.

I have not seen anything in your writings that address my major concern. I have been absolutely miserable throughout most of my Christian life, although I appear to be contented and strong because I counsel others, smile, and say, “Praise the Lord” a lot. I’m doing some serious soul-searching away from church meetings and the church family. I truly do know that God loves me. I believe that nothing can separate me from His love. But I also believe that all of the people who are eternally separated from God will be people He truly loves. So for me, whether God loves me is not the concern. It is whether I am accepted by Him.

I assent to the fact that we are accepted only through Christ, but it is obviously not a reality for me. I live with constant internal agony. I cannot reconcile being accepted through faith in Christ (Romans) with scriptures such as Eph. 5:1-7; Hebrews 3, 6:1-2, Galatians 5:21, Colossians 1:23, and many, many others. Paul told the church to examine themselves to see if they were in the faith. Jesus gave many warnings. He spoke about the “many” to whom He will say, “I never knew you,” even though they apparently had actually done mighty works in His name. How did these many do mighty works if they never knew Him and He never knew them? At the judgment, the sheep and goats are separated based on what they did and didn’t do. I am truly afraid of being found at the judgment as one who was not accepted — a foolish virgin, the man who hid his talent, a branch broken off and worthy only for burning.

The bottom line is, I cannot reconcile that we are saved by grace through faith with the frightening warnings throughout the scriptures. I know beyond any doubt that I was born again and baptized in the Holy Spirit as an older teen. There has never been a time since then when I turned away from my faith in Christ or did not want to please Him. There have been times when I have failed miserably, and I realize that I fail often to be all He would want me to be. But this is something more. It is who I am in my inner most being and the spontaneous responses I have to life stressors at unexpected moments. The truth is, I am afraid of being cast away and lost.

I know the Word says that Jesus will not cast out those who come to Him. But I am still always afraid that God expects more of me than I am giving. I always feel that the Lord is trying to get through to me something that He requires or expects from my life. I don’t know what that something is, but I fear that I have failed and will be ashamed at His appearing.

My Response: I wish I could answer all your questions, Sister, but email is a lousy way to try to help someone through things like this. Words are so limited and I’m never sure I read them the same way you wrote them. It would be great if you could find an older sister in the Lord whose life in God you truly respect and have a sense that they are connected to Him. Share this with them and see if they can help you get through it it. I just don’t trust email as a way to sort out these deeply personal issues.

First of all, I think it is fabulous that you’re struggling with this. It shows you have a heart for truth and not just hide in comforting thoughts. That’s incredibly positive. God wants you to know his acceptance from the deepest core of your being and you don’t need to be satisfied short of finding that. So, keep on this journey with him. Let him sort out in you why you don’t know that acceptance. Because you surely have it. Of that I have no doubt, but there is something blocking your perception of that reality and finding freedom from that will be a wonderful moment on this journey and it will guard you well in days ahead…

You seem to be hung up in the performance trap—that somehow his love for you is not enough and you must be very, very good to prove your worth to him. Yes, there is much in Scripture that talks about his transformation in us, and invites us to live the way he lived in the world. Yes, this journey leads us to ever-increasing righteousness as he transforms us. Yes, there is much in Scripture about the way he wants us to live…

BUT, there is a huge difference between reading those admonishments as someone trying to perform for acceptance, and someone living out of that acceptance wanting his transformation. You seem to be stuck in the former, fearful that you will somehow fall short of his expectations for you. I don’t know exactly what you’re struggling with there, and that’s where someone else might be very helpful to sort that out, but the admonishments of the New Testament are not qualifications to earn acceptance, but the way God wants his accepted people to live in the world. I hope that makes sense to you.

All you have to do is look at how Jesus treated his followers when they didn’t believe him, tried to work against him, and even acted unloving toward each other and the world around them. He kept telling them his Father had something better for them, but he didn’t reject them. He didn’t berate them, he kept loving them into his Father’s transformation. Yes, we all fall short. Sister. None of us is perfect. But I don’t read the admonishments of the New Testament and see how far short I fall, I read them in the hope that this is what he is producing in me and what I want him to produce so badly.

But performance will never get us there. It won’t! It won’t! It won’t! You’ll never be good enough and neither will I. But, transformation comes quickest and we learn to live settled in his love and in communion with him, even at the point of our failures. Perfect love casts out fear! Fear has to do with punishment, and the one who fears cannot be perfected in love. (I John 4). In other words it’s our security in his love that begins the transformation, not our performance to escape punishment.

Does that make sense? I don’t know why you’re caught where you are, but I have no doubt that something in your past, the way you think, or some religious infection makes you think wrongly about these things. So while you are accepted by a loving Father, you don’t know that yet. But he wants you to. So don’t give up. Don’t feel you need to pretend. Ask him why you cannot be settled in his love and acceptance and ask him to change you so that you can be.

That’s a great freedom, Sister! I can’t wait until you know it for yourself. That will be a wonderful day, and well worth the struggle you’re caught in now to find it… And know you are not alone. Every genuine child of God has struggled through this issue at some level or another. I have many people who write me with similar struggles. So keep going, Sister! Keep pouring yourself out to the Father and search the Scriptures to see whether our performance leads us to acceptances, or whether his acceptance leads us to transformation. Read John 14-15, Romans 8 and I John 4 again and again until the reality of it all sinks home…

And for all of you who wrestle with the same deep agony of being uncertain of Father’s acceptance, I pray for you, too, that you might keep coming close to him and sorting through every thing that says differently, until in the deepest core of your being you know Father’s deep affection and delight in you as his child.

Our latest edition of The God Journey entitled Accept No Substitutes! has just been posted on our sister website thegodjourney.com.

Why would we ever think we’re safer following the crowd, or following another human being, when the King of Kings wants to be our shepherd and lead us into the true freedom of God’s life? He alone is the way, the truth and the life. Learning to live dependent on him rather than our own performance or the false security of so-called experts, will allow him to unravel our religious ways of thinking and free us to go on the journey with him that opens the door to the real thing—life in his kingdom!

Isn’t she lovely??!?!?! Of course the kid is, but I don’t know about the get-up. My wife and daughter think it’s to die for. I don’t know! I don’t think I understand a lot of the hoopla surrounding Christmas. I do know this. If your life is in a good season when Christmas rolls around, it makes a great time to celebrate with family and friends. But if you’re going through painful struggles, or you’ve recently lost someone you love deeply, this season can multiply the pain geometrically.

I have just posted our Lifestream Christmas greeting on the website. It is called The Two Faces of Christmas, and we hope it encourages you however you find life facing you in this season. We are so blessed by all the connections that Father has given us in his incredible kingdom and are so grateful for all of you who have touched our lives this past year. May God overwhelm you with his grace and joy, in whatever you might be going through in this season of your life, and lead you ever closer to his heart.

In an unrelated note, I have on good authority that a new chapter in the Jake Colsen story has just been posted at jakecolsen.com. The last chapter will be posted on Christmas day.