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I wanted to throw the remote control through the TV screen when, after reading a list of the names of the children slaughtered at Sandy Hook Elementary School, President Obama Sunday night concluded, “God has called them home!”

I realize it’s just something we say to comfort grieving parents with the image that they those who pass away have been called there by God, but the view of God it hangs on is no comfort at all. God did not call them home; evil sent them to his arms and he received them with sorrow over the way we humans continue to treat each other. It was not his will that any of them die that day. It takes a distorted view of God’s will to assign him choice in every atrocious event in our world, even if we just believe he “allowed it” in some benign way. It wasn’t his doing, but the actions of someone who had given themselves over to evil. Those children would still be alive today if he had not done so.

Why are we so easily soothed by the misguided notion that God is behind such things? What kind of God decides to call some children home and then enlists a murderer to do it for him? And why is that thought more comforting than the fact that God is in this world with us to help make sense out of a senseless world. Evil roams the earth and sometimes through willing vessels is able to cause incredible devastation. Why would we rather believe God is behind these things for whatever false comfort that provides?

I guess the dilemma is this: How can a loving Father leaves us to the whim of the most wicked among us? It is a question that has perplexed mankind throughout history. It seems so incredibly unfair that the selfish act of one person can rob so many others of life and property. Yet the Scriptures are full of evil acts destroying the innocent, from Cain slaying his brother in jealousy, to King David raping his friend’s wife then having him murdered by betrayal, and then Jesus himself consigned to a horrible death by those who would tell lies under oath. In far less brutal ways, all of us have been victims of others who have sought to impose their will on us by deceit, force, or simply taking advantage of us for their own gain.

We want a world were the negative actions of people don’t have consequence. We think God should prevent all bad things from happening, if not for everyone, then at least for those who are following him. But where does that leave you when tragedy strikes except to feel abandoned by God for some unknown offense? If tragedy is proof that God didn’t love you enough to protect you, how do you rely on him at life’s worst moments? God has not promised a world without evil, nor a life with out pain. He has promised to be with us and to work anything life hurls at his toward his ultimate good of redeeming us and the world back to himself.

We cannot escape the notion that human actions have consequence and when people act destructively others are destroyed. We want to credit everything to God’s hands when he put the world in ours. Humanity is not only capable of incredibly compassionate deeds, but incredibly horrifying ones as well. War, oppression, murder, rape, cheating, and stealing are a constant part of life because people choose to do those things and see other people only as fodder for their own wants.

I’ve heard it suggested that compassionate people will not hold others responsible for their actions at times like this. They suggest some don’t really have a choice because they are the product of an unhealthy environment, or aren’t in their right mind. And they believe their hurtful actions toward others won’t matter because God’s love will fix whatever wrong we do to others. I find such thinking not only an affront to God’s love and a flimsy excuse to treat others the way they want and think there are no consequences for doing so.

All of our actions have consequences that effect the people around us and the culture as a whole, for good or ill. They may not be as large as what happened in Connecticut last week, but, like ripples in a pond they do impact others. Because one man chose to grab a gun instead of seek out help for whatever tormented him, twenty-six people had their lives cut short. Mothers and fathers were robbed of beloved sons and daughters.

We are responsible for our actions and the consequences they cause others. While God forgives people their failures as a way to open the door to know him again, it does not change the consequences their hurtful actions have caused others. Any caring person, would not see their own forgiveness as healing enough, but would also want to be part of healing any wounds they’ve caused others. That’s what separates light from darkness.

Evil thrives in the dark, seeking excuses not healing. It has no empathy for others and therefore sees no problem with satisfying its rage by shooting little children. It attacks people at their most vulnerable, often luring them in by false trust, only looking to take advantage of their goodness. Every con artist first presents himself as a trustworthy person before he seeks to take as his own that which is not his. Evil always abuses the trust of well-meaning people and uses it as a weapon against them. It is the complete antithesis of love, which is why God hates evil—not the person, but the actions and motivations that act so destructively.

Evil lurks in the dark to play the coward’s game. That’s why it seeks out a classroom of first-grade children with a gun, where no one can match his firepower, or unarmed citizens at a political rally. These people don’t attack army bases or police stations. This one chose the most vulnerable environment and by doing so betray the trust of a culture that killing innocent children is completely unthinkable. Of course, we have no idea how many intended acts of evil get thwarted by God’s intervention, but we know it is not all of them. I realize that sounds more insecure than the idea that nothing can happen to us God does not allow, but I am not comfortable with the terminology that God would allow such horror.

Is he powerless to stop some things? Of course not, but he has a larger plan unfolding that we can possibly understand in this age. Scripture is clear that God takes up the cause of the widow and orphan, the marginalized, and the oppressed. He will vindicate them and in justice deal with those who are agents of destruction. But only a cursory view of life tells us that rarely happens this side of eternity. What vindication replaces the loss of a child or the wounds of abuse? But we are also assured that this life only makes sense in light of what comes next and we’ll take a look at that more in my next installment.

The character of God in this age need not be compromised to gloss over the actions of evil, or to falsely comfort those in pain. God’s character is seen in the in the actions of those who protect the vulnerable, not seek to destroy them. It’s reflected in the staff members who confronted the gunman and paid with their lives. He has already done that for us by suffering the injustice of this world to begin the process that would reverse sin in the race and overcome evil.

That process still unfolds. Though evil causes ripples through our culture so do acts of grace and kindness. When you smile at a stranger, help someone in need, feed those who have no food, confront injustice on someone else’s behalf, and care for others over your own desires, the world changes a little. Start today with the people you know. How can I show them acts of kindness reveals God’s love in our world, and not use them for what I think I need?

And just because he does not prevent things like this from happening is no reason to give ourselves over to fear. Fortunately evil like this is incredibly rare. Schools don’t get shot up every day for there are very few people as wantonly destructive as that young man. One of the things our media does poorly is give us a sense of proportion about tragedies when they happen. Wall-to-wall coverage in a nation of over 300 million people, makes it seem like it’s happening around the corner and soon people begin to fear sending their own kids to school.

And when we find ourselves in a crisis of any size, we can rest secure knowing that he will not abandon us there. We are safe in him regardless of what comes our way and he will fulfill his purpose in us and the world even beyond the works of evil. If you need guarantees to trust him, you haven’t yet learned to trust him. For trust sets you at rest even in uncertainty, knowing that no harm can befall you that is bigger than him.

I would much prefer a God who is with me in every trial as his larger purpose unfolds, rather than cling to a false comfort that he will surely prevent everything bad from coming my way. We are safer walking the waves with him than we are staying in an empty boat with out him.

His ripples are the biggest ones in this pond!

Who didn’t send their children off to elementary school Friday, without a second thought that they wouldn’t return home safe that evening? That’s because they always do, at least for the vast majority of people on the vast number of days. But not Friday in Newtown, Connecticut where a seriously tormented soul took gun in hand to not only kill his mother, but also to go to the elementary school he used to attend to slaughter as many people as he could find. He shot six and seven year-old children at point-blank range, and any adult who tried to save them.

The events of this past weekend have stung us with grief, exacerbated our fears, and provoke our anger to do something to end these recurring mass murders. There’s a lot being written and said about those things. I think there are some larger lessons here as well, that I will cover in three parts this week. This is the first.

The immediacy of television the brings the carnage into our own living rooms, displaying images that strike at the depth of our souls, and makes us part of the drama. Who can watch it without thinking of their children or grandchildren and the horrible loss that those in Newtown will endure for the rest of their lives? The tragedy is almost impossible to process and the fear it provokes reminds us how helpless we can be in a world where the destructive actions of one person can have so much impact on others.

Just how do you make sense of the senseless? Obviously you can’t, but people have been trying all weekend. A parade of pundits and politicians have tried to explain the problem, find someone to blame for it, or use it as leverage for their pet political theory. How could this happen? Shouldn’t someone have stopped this? Should we have better security at our schools, laws against violence in entertainment, or more anti-gun laws? Couldn’t the shooter’s family and friends have seen this coming and intervened before it did? Surely there is something we can do to make sure this never happens again to anyone.

And while there are things society can, and should, do to mitigate the possibility, ultimately there’s nothing we can do to guarantee absolute safety for every person in a free society. There is no way to thwart every destructive soul who wants to take the lives of others into their own hands to serve whatever wicked purpose that’s been nurtured in their soul. Why some revel in the power to destroy others for their own needs is one of the most perplexing themes in human history. We see it play out in school shootings, theater massacres, war, terrorist bombings, tribal violence, and genocide.

In the last few months tens of thousands of Syrians have been brutally killed in the last few months by a dictator only concerned only with his own fading grip on power. Every day hundreds of children die in these power struggles, or just from the inequitable distribution of resources that leave too many without food, safe water, or medical care. Greed and corruption can cause every bit as much devastation in the world as a man with a gun. A twisted soul rapes scores of children as those around him help him hide it. And if you look historically, the amount of senseless violence in human history and the oppression of one people by another is staggering to contemplate.

It’s unfortunate that we forget most of the suffering in the world because they happen too far away from us or because the are so persistent we tune them out rather than ask what we can do to help. Tragedies close to home, however, impact us disproportionately partly because it is such an anamoly to our expectations, and partly because when they happen to people like us in neighborhoods like ours, we feel much more vulnerable and easily taps our worst fears and our deepest anger. But it can also remind us that there is evil in the world, and it delights in destroying others.

Our culture has all but abandoned talk of evil, wanting to believe the best about people and blaming poor behavior on a difficult childhood, psychological problems, or needs beyond their control. Tragedies like this bring us back to a very simple reality. Evil exists in our world and people choose to cooperate with it. Certainly this tragedy points it out in the extreme—the contrast between a calloused killer and innocent little children, the one taking life and those staff members who sacrificed theirs trying to prevent it. But don’t reserve your understanding of evil only for atrocities of this magnitude, or you’ll miss how easily it can infect you. Evil is simply the willingness to force our will on another human being merely because we have the power to do it.

After we watched the news on Saturday night we found these timely words in our evening reading from Proverbs 6:

Here are six things GOD hates, and one more that he loathes with a passion:
eyes that are arrogant,
a tongue that lies,
hands that murder the innocent,
a heart that hatches evil plots,
feet that race down a wicked track,
a mouth that lies under oath,
a troublemaker in the family. (Proverbs 6:16-19)

Obviously the “hands that murder the innocent,” was in sharp focus that night, but then we were struck by what else God hates to the same degree—arrogance, telling lies under oath, and plotting against others. Evil is expressed not just in tragedies too horrible to contemplate, but also in less overt ways that we harm others around us. Anything we do to force our will over another human being is an extension of evil and mars a bit more of Father’s creation. (Of course, I’m not talking about intervening in someone’s destructive behavior to protect others.)

God hates all these things and please be careful how you hear that. He doesn’t hate the person, he hates the act because of what it does to people he loves. Whatever loss you felt by the tragedy in Connecticut this weekend is multiplied a billion times in the heart of God who bears all the weight of how we humans harm others around us. The grief and anger we feel over this incident reminds us that two kingdoms are at work in this world—one to destroy the other to heal.

Each of us by the decisions we make promote one or the other. Every decision we make matters. Perhaps the most perplexing question of human history is, “How can a loving Father leaves us to the whim of the most wicked among us?” I’m going to write about that as a continuation of this theme in my next posting. The fact that he does, however, ought to encourage us to consider how our actions affect others around us. Our actions have consequences. Yes, murdering innocent children is the worst of it, but from God’s vantage point gossip, envy, dishonesty, taking unfair advantage, telling someone to trust you and then using their trust and kindness to abuse them, and a host of other things, also do real damage to people.

I like Paul’s list of the deeds of the flesh in Galatians 5 to be a great reminder of what we do to add more evil to the world, and his list of the fruits of the Spirit in the same chapter will show how we can promote his healing in those around us. And, no, I don’t share this to make you feel guilty in hopes that you’ll act better. I share it so that our passion to be healers in the world grows and so that we can recognize when our actions become destructive so that we can run to him for healing.

You can’t be a healer in the world, if you are not first being healed by him. Those who know God as Father and are resting secure in his affection have no reason to force their will on another human being, and will instead look for ways to help others who are victimized by the cruel realities of life in a broken age.

The transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly is not only one of Creation’s most incredible acts, it also mirrors so well our own spiritual growth. No wonder Paul drew on the metaphor in Romans 12:1-2 to contrast how the world seeks to press us into its mold, while God invites us into a process of surrendered transformation.

A couple of years ago Sara planted a butterfly garden in our backyard, on the advice of a lady I met in Wisconsin on a trip there. It consists of collection of milkweed plants, which are the host plant for the monarch butterfly, pictured at left. This is the only plant on which they will lay their eggs and the only plant the caterpillars will eat. We have now watched two growing season with our grandkids as the eggs hatch, the caterpillars grow, then change into a chrysalises, and finally emerge as butterflies. It seems to hold endless fascination for all of us as we check each day to see how the caterpillars are growing and how the chrysalises progressing. My daughter just blogged on this recently on her blog, with pictures of what’s going on in our own backyard. She has some awesome pictures there that capture of the wonder of this process.

As astounded as I am when a new butterfly emerges from its chrysalis, I am even more astounded how a butterfly becomes a chrysalis. If you’ve never seen this process, you can view it here in time-lapse photography. I have long wondered how it happened, but until I saw this video, I had no idea it merely shed its own skin and the chrysalis forms from the inside. One day the caterpillar simply wanders away from the milkweed, sometimes going as far as 15 or 20 yards, to find another tree or bush for it to crawl up into. There it hangs upside down in a small curl, and this amazing transformation begins. While it does not have the drama or beauty of the butterfly’s emergence from the chrysalis, it is perhaps an even greater miracle.

When I see the caterpillar hanging from the branch ready for this part of its transformation, I am reminded of Jesus’ words in John 12,

Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal. (John 12:24-25, The Message)

I know he’s talking about wheat, but the analogy still holds in transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly. Who wouldn’t want to give up life as a caterpillar to take to the sky as a butterfly? The more difficult choice is first to become the space in which that kind of transformation can take place. For that to happen, the caterpillar has to give up life as it has always known it, stop its voracious activity, and submit to a process it can’t possibly understand. But it cannot embrace the final step until it takes the next one. And the next one isn’t nearly as much fun.

That’s so true for us as well. Somehow we want God to wave his magic wand and suddenly everything become glorious and fruitful in our lives. We want the fruit of transformation, without embracing the process of it, and because of that we miss out on the beauty God wants to call out of our hearts. We, too, have to let go of life as we know it, and when he invites us, to lay down what we already have. There is no growth without risk, and if we always stay safe by our own reckoning we’ll find ourselves growing stagnant and empty.

In the current issue of Living Loved, I write about the importance of following God onto the narrow road in the simplest of choices. Almost always these moments seem too risky and it feels far safer to ignore them. The only thing that makes them safe is to realize who it is that is inviting us. God is not interested in destroying you, but letting the person he created you to be emerge from the twistedness of what sin, religion, and this world has done to you. What takes all the risk out of it, is knowing that the Father who loves me is guiding me and that I’m the one who truly loses when I seek to save myself.

When I’m feeling so much at risk in the way God’s asking me to live right now and what he is reshaping in both Sara and me, I have found great encouragement and insight watching the process by which God makes a butterfly. It encourages me to let go even more, so that what remains is truly what brings him great joy. I know that’s where my joy lies as well.

The Narrow Road
by Wayne Jacobsen
Living Loved – Winter 2013

I had just spent the weekend in a country home talking with a group of people about living in the Father’s love. Afterwards two of them drove me to the airport nearly two hours away. The questions continued until we were close to the airport. Finally, a twenty-one year-old medical student in the back seat made one of the most insightful observations I’ve ever heard, “You know what I’m beginning to think, Wayne? Maybe the reason this journey seems so difficult is because it is far easier than we dare to believe!”

Read it again. Having written about finding a real relationship with God for 25 years, I get lots of email from frustrated people. Though they’ve read my books and listened to most of my audio they still feel as if they have little or no connection with God. Many feel forsaken, others wonder if he even exists.

The reason this journey seems so difficult is because it is far easier than we dare to believe!

I know it isn’t easy for people to find their way into a loving relationship with the Father. Everything we’ve learned and believed before runs counter to the dynamics of recognizing and resting in his love. However, it isn’t difficult because God makes it complicated, or because it takes a certain skill set or sensitivity, but because we look in the wrong places for how his life takes root in us.

But Jesus knows that too, and is still up to the challenge of engaging us in a fruitful relationship with his Father…. (Read the full article here.)

Thus begins the feature article in our latest Living Loved Newsletter, which has just been posted at the Lifestream website. You can access the entire newsletter here.

The title of this issue is, The Narrow Road, and looks at some often-overlooked Scriptures, especially by those who talk about Father’s love, that help people learn that living in the love of the Father is not the result of one grand commitment, but the fruit of a long series of choices that leans away from the world’s way and listens to the gentle nudges of the Spirit as to how to live differently. It’s not about performance, but a process of shifting the way we think to the narrow road of growing trust in Father’s love and his work in our lives.

And don’t miss our other features as well:

And this insightful quote by A.W. Tozer – “We are in an age of religious complexity. The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found amoung us. In its stead are programs, methods, organizations, and a world of nervous activities which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart.”

You can read it online, or print your own downloadable version. We hope it inspires your own journey in drawing closer to Jesus and reveling in his life.

Fourteen times in the New Testament we are encouraged to encourage one another. Honestly, I think it is one of the most awesome gifts you can give someone. It doesn’t cost anything, except a bit of space in your life to think about them and what you might say or do that would lighten their load or brighten their day. Though the dictionary defines ‘encourage’ as “to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence or to stimulate by assistance, approval, etc.”, I think of it simply as putting courage into someone else’s heart.

That takes on added meaning reading some of Dr. Brown’s material that I referred to last week. What people need most in the midst of vulnerability, shame, and uncertainty is to have the courage to be authentically who they are today and know that is enough. I would add that this courage comes best from knowing that we are loved, that God is not distant from us in our pain or brokenness, and that he will work all things out for good no matter what we face.

Encouraging someone is to give them a gift of word or act that helps them have more courage to face what they are facing. You encourage people not by giving them advice about what they should do, nor by pushing them to do what we think best, nor by flattering them with untrue statements, nor by manipulating their behavior to act better. Encouragement does something so much better. It opens their eyes to a greater reality and sets their heart at rest in their unfolding journey

What prompted this thought today? Two things, actually! Last week I received an email from a woman I had met briefly in Germany before one of my teaching times. Just before I got up we had sung the chorus,”There Is None Like You,” addressed to God, course. The thought that hit me while we were singing, is that while this is definitely true of God, do we ever think that God would say such things to us. It’s what I say to Sara, my kids and grandkids, and even to friends. “There is none like you. No one else can touch my heart like you do.”

So when I got up I began to share that and even turned to this woman I’d just met, whose name came back to mind, pointed at her and said, “What if you knew Father was saying to you today, there is none like you?” Unbeknownst to me she had been go through a rough season and was hurt and confused because they had been thrown out of their “church” for asking the wrong questions. This is what she wrote me:

When you said to me, “There is no one like you!”, Father spoke that right into my heart and he kept on speaking to me that he knows my heart and that I shouldnt be bothered be what the church leaders said about me. He made me the way I am and he wanted me that way, and he has put the desires in my heart, that they didn’t like. The message you are sharing, Wayne, is the same message God has put on my heart, and I´m willing to spend the rest of my life to proclaim who God really is, how much he loves us, and how much he wants to heals our hearts! I wanted to let you know how much you blessed me that weekend. God took all pain and confusion and my feeling depressed away…and I´m happy again and know what I´m living for!

I love when God does things through something I’m doing and I’m not even aware of it. To think that little phrase spoken directly to this woman would unleash such a well of God’s light and courage into her heart, blows me away with how big this God is, and how much our words can give someone else courage to continue on the path God has for them. No wonder Scripture reminds us to “Encourage each other daily.” What a gift! And it doesn’t take much. Sometimes it an be an off-the-cuff comment like mine, and sometimes it comes from just holding someone in God’s presence and thinking about what God might be saying to that person to invite them in to a greater confidence in Father’s love for them.

The second reason this came to mind this morning is that while I was preparing Sara’s prescriptions and breakfast this morning, I thought how wonderful it would be for Sara to receive some encourage notes today. She’s been through quite a weekend, and now three days after surgery is where the real work of recovery sets in and she realizes it’s going to take some time away from all the things she normally loves to do. And all of this has come at her in a time where she’s already pretty vulnerable from the surgeries Father has been doing in her heart, that we talked about on the podcast a few weeks ago.

So I would love it if some of you had it on your heart to day to share some things with Sara that you think Father might be saying to her. You can post some of that here on the blog, or on the FaceBook posting, if it pointed you here. I’ll read them to her throughout the day. Or, if you want to address something to her more personally you can write hear at the office email. I’m somewhat hesitant to do that, thinking Sara we might be overwhelmed with comments and postings, and also knowing there are millions of people in situations like hers and worse that may not get any encouragement today.

So, here’s what I thought of. If you’d like to send something to encourage Sara today, please do, especially if you know her. And then maybe you could let God show you someone else near you who needs encouragement today. You could send either the same encouragement to them, or even something different that’s on your heart. And then, why stop with one! Who around you can use some courage, and what might you simply say that could be a turning point for them today. Then do it. Send a email, or leave a note for your spouse or co-worker. Call someone up just to say, “I’ve been thinking about you and just wanted you to know that Father…”

Filling the world with encouragement today, might ripple through the cosmos in ways we’ll never fully appreciate in this life. But that would only make it more fun!

I’m happy to report that Sara is out of surgery and in recovery at the moment. We received so many prayers, encouraging emails, and expressions of love from so many of you. Thank you so much. I spoke to her two surgeons and they both couldn’t be more pleased with how the process went and are hopeful that she will have a smooth recovery. She has to stay overnight in the hospital and gets to go home tomorrow morning! Yeah! I’m going to stay with her tonight because Sara’s family has a long-standing tradition that no one should have to spend the night alone in a hospital. I’m going to honor that tradition and hang out with my Babe! That should be fun since neither of us slept well last night——Sara because she was concerned about surgery, and me because Sara was concerned about surgery and didn’t want to be alone!

Love is not letting someone go through pain alone. I have been often blessed by that definition of love. It started back when I was going through a painful betrayal by a colleague in ministry. One of my best friends dropped out of the fellowship about that time, but suddenly reappeared as the process reached it’s most painful. When I asked him where he’d been, he told me he could see the handwriting on the wall and knew the conflict was coming. Having been through it himself he said he just couldn’t bear watching me go through it. “But you came back,” I said, “for the worst of it.”

“I know,” he answered. “As much as I couldn’t bear to watch you go through it, it was worse to think of you going through it alone.” So cool. That’s what come passion is: “to come to passion”, in the Old English sense——to rush into suffering to help alleviate the pain.

I’ve already hired to grandgirls to do dog-sitting for us tonight so Sara won’t worry about them either!

Before I share with you something we read last night, I want to take time to share some personal notes. Tomorrow morning Sara is having major surgery. For reasons of privacy we’re not sharing the details of that surgery, but it is not life-threatening and it does not involve cancer. It will, however, take significant time for her to recover and I will be her caregiver during that time. So, if these pages are quiet for a few weeks, I hope you understand and keep Sara in your prayers as Father might lead you.

Two nights ago we were sitting on our floor putting together our last mail-out newsletter, “Living Loved”. From now on we’re only going to release it on-line. I had not been around to help with one for some time and as I put labels on I saw names of people that I had visited years ago, or had significant contact with during a certain period. Some I now haven’t heard from in some time and it warmed me with joy to recount so many wonderful people God has allowed me to know over the years, and it made me a bit sad that I’m not up to date on the lives of many of them. It was a bittersweet evening. And, for those who are anxious, we’ll be releasing this latest edition early next week.

But this is what I wanted to share today. Sara and I are currently reading together Dr. Brené Brown’s latest book, Daring Greatly I’ve talked about her on some podcasts and previous posts. She’s a gifted communicator as you can see from her Ted Talks on
The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame. Our favorite of her books, however is still The Gifts of Imperfection, though this one is wildly popular. I’ll warn you, Dr. Brown writes and speaks to a secular audience. Though she is a sister in Christ, she does not offer spiritual solutions to the issues of shame she diagnoses so incisively. I think she gets that, it’s just not the audience she is writing to.

But her observations about the need of the human heart for real and deep connection and how shame sabotages our attempts to find it, are incredible. Born out of decades of research she has documented the most significant result of the Fall, and that is our being lost in shame. Though her guidance and exercises can be helpful for some, I don’t think we ever rid ourselves of shame by human effort alone. Only an engagement with Jesus’ work on the cross and accepting his love for us can finally set us free from the shame that so twists our lives.

I wanted to share with you something we read last night, that we have both faced in our lives, though thankfully not with each other. It was about those who destroy relationships through betrayal, as she answers her own question, “What’s the worst betrayal of trust?” Surprisingly it’s not the overt acts of lying, adultery, or cheating we usually think about. For those to happen, something more insidious takes place first.

This betrayal usually happens long before the other ones. I’m talking about the betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship. The word betrayal evokes experiences of cheating, lying, breaking a confidence, failing to defend us to someone else who’s gossiping about us, and not choosing us over other people. These behaviors are certainly betrayals, but they’re not the only form of betrayal. If I had to choose the form of betrayal that emerged most frequently from my research and that was the most dangerous in terms of corroding the trust connection, I would would say disengagement.

When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing and fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears – the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie or an affair is that we can’t point to the source of our pain – there’s no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness. It can feel crazy-making.

God made us for deep, vital connections with other people of growing trust. Some of our greatest joys spring out of those relationships. And that’s why betrayal is such a brutal repudiation of God’s life. To discard a relationship simply because it no longer serves your interests demonstrates just how far the human heart can wonder from God. As I read this section to Sara last night, however, I couldn’t help but wonder how much this falls under the chicken-and-egg question. Do people betray because the let the relationship grow distant, or did they let the relationship grow distant so they could act without regard to the feelings of another? The latter is often true. It’s difficult to stab a friend in the back, so you have to make them your enemy first.

In a broken world, betrayal will happen. They did to Jesus. But that didn’t stop him from being faithful when others were faithless. It didn’t stop him from loving out of the deepest place, even when he knew others didn’t have the capacity to return it. One of the greatest fruits of living in that kind of love is the unmitigated desire to pass that along to others——to become trustworthy in relationships and fight for them however you can, even if others have give up.

That’s what I see my Father doing. And I am so grateful.

At left is the cover for In Season: Embracing the Father’s Process of Fruitfulness that has just been published in Germany. I got to see some of the first copies when I was there a few weeks ago. You can order them from Glory World Medien.

I continue to be blessed by the people who have read the English version of this book and let me know that it has helped them more freely relax into the process by which God transforms them, rather than trying to change themselves for God. It is so important that we see fruitfulness as a process that God gives birth to in us, rather than trying to do our best for God and end up frustrated when his fruit does not appear. (There are also a number of new articles from Living Loved that have been translated into German. You can find them on our International Page.)

Maybe this is a good time to remind those of you who want to order any of our books, audio, or videos for Christmas gifts, the time is now. Shipping does take longer in this season. And, if you’d like, I’d be happy to sign any of the books to your friends and family. Just include a note with your order and we’ll take care of it. And if you’re still looking for that gift idea for someone, there are lots of things to choose from. You can find all our products here.

We continue to get incredible email from people enjoying our DVD series: The Jesus Lens. I received this one just a few minutes ago:

I have been treasuring “The Jesus Lens”! Long story short – have felt guilty for not teaching our children more “Bible”. But I wasn’t able to even read it without the abusive god issues resurfacing in my head, so I sure didn’t want to teach it to my kids!!! I was hoping that they keep their childlike faith in their loving Abba. “The Jesus Lens” is helping me to see scripture so differently and is so helpful to me. Through it our Father is opening up a whole new world and a way to reconcile the god that I used to read about (in fear – literally) in the Bible, and the Father that I know.

The Jesus Lens can be viewed on-line for free, or ordered as a 3-disc DVD set to share with others.

And if you have not yet read A Man Like No Other, you really have to take a look at it. It makes an incredible gift book of extraordinary paintings and insightful reflections to help someone focus on the life of Jesus without all the religious distortions religion has added to that story.

If one of these men was your hope for America’s future, then your hope was sorely misplaced. And you’re actually in more trouble if your guy won than if he lost. Our hope is never in the ways of or abilities of humanity, but in the unfolding purpose of a gracious Father.

This morning I got this comment on my last blog about the election, and it reflects a lot of anguish I’ve also seen in my emails and in social media from many conservatives.

Wayne, now that the election is over I am in a rough place as I was putting some hope in the goodness of what good is still left in our beautiful America, but now I think I was wrong. l know that my hope is in Father and not men, but I find myself completely cynical about my neighbor. Evil will prevail in this life and I have spent far too much time in hoping I would not witness it consume our country-obviously we are going to watch it happen. I struggle with finding my footing in knowing that Father is in control, having to take the injustice of it all, and knowing that my job is to just continue doing as I have been doing for the past couple of years since Father opened my heart to his will of living loved each day and loving others in that love. I also know that many others have watched injustice happen all around them for a lifetime, and had somehow been able to live a life of joy in the midst of it. I am in need of perspective.

It appears someone is watching too much cable news, or even network news for that matter. The candidates and pundits pitted this election as good versus evil as a way to ramp up votes and ratings by ramping up fear regardless of what side they were on. No one I saw or read gave an honest analysis of what was really going on while treating both sides with respect and honor for their differing views. The tragic result now is that citizens view those who did not vote like them as evil people, not simply people with different perspectives and priorities. Our country is today the poorer for it.

If you want to find rest in God’s unfolding purpose in history, you have to stop watching the news and believing the pundits. You won’t believe how much more clearly you can see when you’re not filling your head with the news channel rhetoric which is destroying the fabric of our culture. God is bigger than Obama or Romney. If your God can’t work his purpose through Obama as much as through Romney, then your God is too small–way too small. Ny goodness, he had his way with Egypt and Pharaoh and Babylon and Nebuchadnezzar, Rome and Herod, even with Pilate.

Maybe the question is do we really want God’s purpose? Because his purpose isn’t always to make life easy and prosperous for us. Sometimes God’s purpose includes hard times for our nations, which would include us as well. No wonder we look for someone to blame. We’re afraid of our own suffering. But the world is doing just what the world does——serving itself, even to its own ruin. And our God is doing what he does, working in that brokenness to offer his light and life to anyone who will listen.

So if you take this election as a reason to fear your neighbor or regard them as evil, then you’ve become a pawn of the political parties and the mass media. That’s what they want you to think so you’ll keep tuning in hoping someone will give your side hope for the future.

If you want hope to grow in your heart, regardless of what America goes through in the next decade you’ve got to tune your heart to a different frequency and listen to Father more than the hostile political rhetoric of a broken age. You’ll want to remember that his purposes are never thwarted, that he works through both triumph and tragedy as he draws people to himself and moves our world toward its ultimate culmination in him. His purpose is to draw all things to himself and the best way to participate with him is to learn to live in his love for those around us–including our neighbors. You can’t love what you fear or what you hold in contempt.

People who disagree politically with you are not stupid or evil and they are not your enemy. This last election proved to me just how out of step I am with my culture, especially in the candidates and propositions in California. I tire of throwing more money at a government system that is corrupt, especially in California where the public-employee unions continue to manipulate the legislature to line their own pockets. But until my fellow-citizens wake up, we’re just going to have more of the same. But are they less lovable because I consider them misguided? Of course not. The consequences of their actions will soon catch up to all of us, and then we’ll see where we go from there.

I don’t mind being out of step with my culture because I consider my participation in God’s kingdom goes way beyond my American citizenship. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot about this country to love, even as we lament that which is wrong with it. And wouldn’t it be best if we spent less time complaining, and spent more doing what we can do to make this world a better place. I hope the current economic crisis in America eventually forces our leaders to work together for real solutions, but whether they do or not, Father is still my provider and his purposes will unfold in the earth regardless of what humanity does.

And so I embrace this day with the joy that I get to be part of a a bigger purpose than our political system could ever touch. I get to live inside God today and see what he puts before me. And I get to love people who come near me today and have no idea what the loving might accomplish in others. And I will lay my head down on a pillow tonight grateful to be living in such a time with such an amazing Father.

On October 4, I asked if there were some of you who had it on your hearts to help buy some new clothes for the orphanage in Kenya and I was blessed to have so many of you respond so quickly. We sent the money last month, even though we had not yet received enough. But during our time in Europe, additional money came in to complete the total.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, from both Sara and me and from the children as well. We are overwhelmed with joy to see such generosity flow so freely. Their previous clothes were worn out completely and this is such a gift for them, in answer to their prayers.

Today, I received this note and the following pictures:

Thank you very much for clothing the kids. They are happy and praying for you, your family and the ministry at large. All the kids are in good health and they are learning to depend on God for the provision of their daily needs. I had attached some photos of the kids, so you can see them.

Secretary Thomas Wamalwa

Top row, left to right: Sheilah, Purity, Esther, Mark, and Stella
Bottom row, left to right: Daniel, Pamella, Joseph, Naomi, and Daisy

We continue to need $3,000.00 monthly support for the orphanage to house, feed, and educate these children. Hopefully over the next year we will also be able to help them finance a local industry or agricultural that can not only hire some of the people who need jobs, but whose profits can sustain the orphanage itself. We are still trying to find the right idea that will provide both.

In in the meantime, if you feel called to help us support these children either with a one-time contribution, or a monthly donation, we (and they) would be grateful. If you want to know more about this project or the AIDs recovery home we also support in South Africa, you can see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd, Ste 1 #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.