You do not learn to live this life in Jesus by wrapping your head around a different set of principles. You actually grow to understand this life as you respond to the Spirit guiding you into his truth. Over time the draw of the Spirit will become more powerful than the pull of the world or our religious training. Then, instead of seeking certainty, we will be at rest with him in our uncertainties.
Listen to this…. I mean really listen. There is so much wisdom in these few words:
“The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of contemporary violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence.” Thomas Merton
I think that means we have to learn how to say, “No, I’m sorry but that’s not for me,” as often as we need to, even to things we might enjoy and to people we love.
I see that same thing reflected in these words Jesus spoke to the disciples: “Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.” (Matthew 11, The Message)
Religious performance will exahust you as it leaves you frustrated. Learning to live in the Father’s affection will set you at ease and lead to fruitfulness and an inner fulfillment that no busyness can produce.
Few of us really live in the moment, where God is most easily seen. At times we live in the past by our regrets or by trying to recapture some past experience with him. Sometimes we live absorbed in the future with anxieties about what might happen, or trying to fulfill the plans and hopes we have. God is best seen in the present, where he is making himself known in the very things that impact you today.
Sara and I are having another incredible time on this trip to the UK. We spent a couple of days out on the westend of London with some new friends and some we’ve met before. Then we drove up to Scotland, stopping in two different places in northern England to gather with people who wanted to spend some time with us. Now we are spending a few days in Scotland—our first time. We are in St. Andrews and enjoying a wonderful break just with each other, though tonight we’re off to meet some more folks on this journey and see what Father might have for us together. It should be fun.
I am always so inspired by the journey people take to be true to the Spirit within them when it moves them beyond the expectations and even demands of others. For no other reason than that they sense something too deeply inside to ignore, they make choices that even their closest friends and family can’t understand. And even when they are judged wrongly, or encouraged to get back in line, they continue to follow the leading within. Even if it takes them to lonely places for a season they continue to follow. It’s just unbelievably amazing to me.
But one of the hardest realities I deal with are those who want to be on such a journey and can’t find the traihead. They hear about a relationship with Jesus that is alive and vital, want it for themselves, but go year after year feeling ignored, isolated, and abandoned. Yes I’d love to give them three things to do that are guaranteed to work every time, but I know of no such things. I know finding our way into a meaningful relationship with Jesus is a work he does as we learn to relax in him. But the latter part isn’t easy for us. Our expectations and demands get in the way and the more we focus on what we don’t have and try to blame ourselves, the easier it is to miss the gifts he has given. It’s like trying to go to sleep in the middle of the night when sleep won’t come. The more we try to find sleep the more it elludes us. The more we panic about that as time passes, the more difficult it becomes to relax.
It is hard to tell people to be patient because I’m sure it sounds like a cop-out. But relationship with him is not something we control, nor is it something we have to earn. But there’s something that has to happen in us as God untangles what sin and religion have twisted in us that opens the door to the part of our hearts that recognizes him and responds to him. Unfortunately that can take a long time for some. I honestly don’t know why, but I know people get discouraged and feel as if God is either not real or doesn’t care about them. But that isn’t true. He’s no less present with them even if they can’t see it yet. Many think they are so damaged they will never see and the harder they try the more it seems to ellude them.
How I wish everyone could just embrace that reality with a few quick steps, but it isn’t so. I think God is content just to get there with us in this life, whether it takes a year or two, a decade or two, or even a lifetime. He just wants to win the day and show us he is bigger than all that this life could throw at us to separate us from him. That’s why this email touched me so deeply. I’ve corresponded with this sister before, as she alludes to, in the throes of pain and the feeling that somehow she would be passed by. This has gone on for years, but finally the light has dawned in her heart. I am so thrilled for her, and I hope it encourages somd of you who are in the same part of the journey she was in. God will make himself known to you. Don’t miss the last sentence of her letter. It is a profound truth, and one hard-won for her.
Over the last 5 years I’ve emailed you a few times in total angst about a very painful past. The messages I’ve heard from you in you’re replies and through your podcast and books; has been patience. WHAT AN AWESOME DAY IT HAS BEEN! I GET IT NOW!
(So she wrote a letter to God to express her joy and gratitude. Here it is:) I’ve begged and I’ve pleaded and bargained and fought tirelessly and wearily against you! I’ve half heartily and doubtfully prayed for you to reveal yourself to me. I see parts of you this morning and I am in total awe…..there are no words. I’m driving with my sunroof down. One arm on the steering wheel and one outstretched to feel even more of you. Tears stream down my face. I turned off the Christian radio station that I longingly listen to daily in attempts to force feed me into believing in you. Longing to feel and trust the words sung so beautifully. I can’t even describe in words my feelings. My thoughts of your greatness are beyond the most beautiful melodies.
We call you him, he, and you, but wow! “You” are so much more than that! “You”” ARE everything! You are everywhere I look. The rocks, trees, birds, people,dogs. Even the darn, little creepy bugs! Please keep revealing yourself to me! I pray to you, not so that you will know me, but that I may know you. If this is the beginning and only a glimpse of what is to be reconciled in me I am nervous and as excited as I’ve ever been. You well know my anxious spirit but I remain calm in you right now. My father….I won’t even say Heavenly. Father because you are here with me… Oh my ABBA! I got a glimpse of you today and I hear the birds singing the notes you have woven together just for them, just for this moment.
In all the business of trying to find you…. I couldn’t see you were already there.
Jesus invites us into a kingdom that thrives in love. Learning to live in the reality of his love for us and sharing that love with others, leads us away from the tyranny of always having to have our own way. Then instead of seeking what we want, we can lay down our lives for others and see more clearly how he makes himself known in the world
I know it came as a shock to me, and judging by your emails to many of you as well. The deadline to sign up for our February 5-16, 2014 trip to Israel was this past Sunday. Unfortunately that date had completely gotten past me and I know many of you were considering it who were not able to get everything nailed down by that date. So, the tour company has graciously given us another two weeks for anyone still interested to sign up. We already have plenty of people going, but there are six spots remaining and if you’d like to join us you now have until October 1, 2013 to register. You can get all the details and register here. They are treating us very well because the tour coordinator is a good friend and interestingly enough was my first editor at Harvest House years ago when I wrote The Naked Church and The Vineyard.
For those concerned about security issues while in Israel, we’ve received this notice from the tour company: “Safety is always the primary concern for The Israel Tour Company. ITC groups travel under the care of an Israeli land operator, guide, and driver who are well-informed and up-to-the minute in terms of daily security conditions and concerns. The US State Department is not discouraging travel to Israel at this time. The warning for Israel that currently exists is on par with the worldwide warning in place for Americans traveling anywhere in the world since 9/11. As of now, the security situation is stable and tour cancellations are unlikely. A tour cancellation would most likely be precipitated by a change in the US State Dept. Advisory. For the full text of the US Advisory you may go to their website.
For those that haven’t decided whether or not they want to come, you have no idea how much being in the land where God made himself known to the world will affect you and add huge dividends to your Bible reading as you picture the actual sites in which history happened. In addition to being all about Jerusalem (with visits to the dungeon under Caiphas’ house, a private part of the garden in Gethsemane, the traditional site of the Crucifixion and Resurrection, the site of Solomon’s Temple and excavations back to the time of Jesus, we will also be in the second most-mentioned site in the Bible after Jerusalem—Capernaum, which is situated along the shores of the Sea of Galilee. It is definitely one of the most amazing places you’ll be visiting around the Sea. Some of the great Old Testament stories will also be a part of your experience as you explore Israel. You will see the caves where a young David hid from King Saul at the springs of Ein Gedi. You’ll view the location of Jericho where the Bible says the walls came down. You’ll walk through the place where King David looked over onto Bathsheba’s rooftop. You will stand where his son built the First Temple. From the top of Mt. Carmel, you will look over the Valley of Armageddon as Elijah did when he challenged the prophets of Baal. We”ll also visit Masada and the Dead Sea.
We hate to waste these last six slots if there are any more folks that would like to come. You’d be more than welcome to join me and 33 of my friends for a wonderful tour of Israel.
Who hasn’t been in gut-wrenching pain, certain your circumstances are proof enough that the God of the ages doesn’t know or doesn’t care who you are? I get that email a lot from people yearning for their pain to be resolved so that can rest assured in his love. But that assurance doesn’t come our circumstances being fixed the way we want them to be.
The reasons can vary, from tragedy to medical complications to physical need, or in this case disappointed hope. Pain, especially if we blame God or ourselves for it, can blind us to his presence in the midst of the our struggle. Finding of rest in his love is what we need most in the midst of hurt whether or not we ever get what we want. That’s why I love this recent exchange I had with a young woman from the UK. I hope by reading over my shoulder it can encourge you as well.
Thanks so much for your last few podcasts. I’ve found them so refreshing especially the one on the unfolding reality of Fathers family. I sometimes feel that religion catches up on me so quickly. It’s like a sly cat that you don’t even consciously see or feel but you know it’s there because you feel the effects of it—Condemnation, guilt, and (trying harder).
That’s something I seem to struggle with in phases. I was trying to figure out why I was avoiding God. And I realised it’s because I feel like I’m not doing enough. He promised my husband biological children and me two and a half years ago and we are still waiting for the physical fulfillment of that promise. But during that time, I find myself continuously asking what am I not doing? Or what do I need to do more of? It’s a continuously tireless cycle and then Father reminds me of what He has been saying for the past year, “Do nothing. Rest in me. Rrelax.” I sometimes wonder if that’s really what He could be saying. I always thought the fulfillment of a promise that God had given me was to do with my faith. I always felt I had a lot to do with why I was ‘blessed’ by Him. Now I’m not so sure it’s anything to do with me, but how do I stop interfering? I guess I struggle sometimes to accept He could just be blessing me because I’m His child and He wants to love on His kids. Why is it so hard?
This is how I responded to her: Because it runs counter to everything our flesh wants to do—to earn God’s grace by some means—works, faith, repentance. The joy of living in his love can’t be beat, and yes, it is a reality we relax into. We can ask, seek, knock, but it is God who builds a relationship with us, not ours to build it with him. I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to view any of the Engage videos at Lifestream.org, but I am doing them to help people like you who are learning to relax into his way of doing things, instead of trying to get him to do what they want.
It can be a scary journey for awhile, but eventually you’ll find your stability in his love and his working. My heart goes out to you in your desire for pregnancy. That’s a disappointment that can recur every month. We’ve known many who’ve been down that same road, some with the answer they wanted, and some finding other ways to live even if they didn’t have a child. If God has made you such a promise, it is his to fulfill not yours. The joy of this journey is finding our rest and joy in HIM, however he chooses to care for us and find his life in the midst of chaos instead of thinking he’s only in times of blessing.
It’s a journey. Keep leaning into him and watching what he does. You’ll never regret it.
I didn’t hear anything back for two months, and then I found this in my inbox last week from the same woman:
I was just reading through my message to you from a couple of months ago and was so overwhelmed and overjoyed by how much God has done in me without me doing anything! I don’t know when it happened or how but I just don’t have ANY of those concerns that I referred to in my prior email! And I actually don’t care about when I fall pregnant!! The weight and expectation has just dropped off. I DON’T CARE!! I NEVER thought I would be able to say that. Relaxing in His love really works!!!!!
It is so freeing and so amazing to just live loved in the circumstances I find myself in now. I haven’t asked why, what, when, what do I need to do or any of those questions for at least a month and it only dawned on me the other day that I am becoming so much secure in Fathers love nowadays and that I truly am the apple of His eye and from that place many of my insecurities and questions just fade away. I am just happy to be resting in His arms knowing that He has got my back and will work everything out in His perfect timing.
After two and a half years of fighting and struggling and at least 15 years of trying to DO something, ANYTHING before that, I can finally say I am learning to relax in my Fathers love and it is beautiful, breathtaking and addictive!!!!
I know it is hard to let go when it seems like you can’t make it without your circumstance being changed, but that was never what you needed most.
If you were planning to go to Israel with us, there are only two more days to register. Deadline is September 15 fopr the tour Sara and I will be hosting February 5-16. There are only five spots left to join our group, so you bettter hurry. And the deadline for sign-ups is this Sunday, September 15. You can get all the details here. I am really excited about the group that has come together from this, with people from Romania, Canada, Australia, Switzerland, England, as well as throughout the US. It will be 10 great days of fellowship as well as the opportunity to walk the land of the Bible and let the story of God’s redemption sink more deeply into our hearts.
Yes I did plan on staying home most of the fall to write FINDING CHURCH and I have been relishing that task as well as watching it fall together in an amazing way. I can’t wait to share the things that have been crystalizing in my heart. But in the meantime I have felt the Spirit’s nudging to follow through on two invitations that have surfaced for this fall. I thought I’d let you know about them in case you are nearby and want to engage us. Sara and I will be going to the UK from October 3-17. From October 6-11, we are going to be in Scotland, and from October 11-17 we’re going to be in London meeting with some people who anchored this invitation. There will be room in the schedule to meet with others so if you’re interested please let me know. We are uncertain about what we’re doing the first weekend we are there, October 3-6. We’re praying about that and are open to going elsewhere in the UK on our way up to Scotland. So, if that is of interest to any of you, please let me know.
And then in early November, either the first or second weekend, I’m going to be in the Dallas area. There’s a specific group that wants me to come to help them process part of the journey coming out some real legalism and exploring how God might lead them from here. That too has some open time to connect with others as well.
The UK and Dallas trips are still in their formative stages, so if you have something on your heart about my coming, or some people who want to get toether, please let me know and join us in prayer that God will make known what he has in mind. We will get out the details when all the arrangments are finalized.
Our trust in God is undermined every time we try to win God to our agenda and measure his love for us based on our own expectations. If we can live not attached to the outcomes we desire, we’ll discover that he knows best about everything and will lead us into far greater joy and purpose than we’d ever see for ourselves.
I have so appreciated how so many of you have stood with us over the past few years to dare for 72 orphaned children in Kenya. I have appreciated that you have not gotten Kenya-fatigue and have continued to help as needed. I am amazed at how much resource we have put in their hands and really blessed by the care they have demonstrated on their end to use every dollar for the work we’ve sent it. We continue to be in discussion with them about this not being a permanent solution, but only transitional housing while they encourage families to take in these dear children. Unfortunately given the economic need in that part of the country and the number of parents killed in the tribal violence six years ago, few families can afford to add another mouth to feed to their own family. So we continue to do what we can to help while we look for other solutions.
We did get notice this weekend that the children are outgrowing their clothes and that their old ones are threadbare. They are praying for God to provide new clothes for them and are asking if we know of anyone willing to help. Here’s what the director wrote:
As I was with them, I saw many of them, their ordinary clothes have faded out and some have become old and also the school uniform and shoes and pair of socks. In total we have 72 students who are hard working in class and they perform well, and we do thank God for that, As I was assessing their ordinary clothes, school uniform, shoes, and socks they completely worn out. Brother pray for us for the following need, thank you for the last year support for the ordinary clothes and other things.