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Not long ago I met with a group of people who’ve been sharing life as a house church over the couple of years. They had read a lot of my books and articles, but we had never met. In preparation fo our time together, they sent me a list of the questions they were hoping to cover when I was with them. Here’s what they sent:

• What are the areas of holy living that we cannot ignore as true disciples of Christ? (the standards for living)


• What about headship and accountability in the small group setting? Who is responsible to keep order, make decisions, deal with breaches of conduct?


• What kinds of information is appropriate to share; what kinds of questions can we ask others that will be helpful to the growth of the body, and which will cause division?


• How do we deal with differences in age, education, economic levels, geographic, standards of dress or entertainment, strong opinions on health food, home schooling, etc.


• How can we overcome roadblocks to real relationships? (personality quirks like stoicism vs. epicurean, giftings such as speaking vs. serving, training and backgrounds like Baptist vs. Pentecostal, paradigms and thinking patterns such as models for church vs. Holy Spirit led, etc.)


• How do we grow and develop a deeper love for one another which would cause others to see something special?


• Where do we find fellowship with a larger circle of believers?


• What are some specific things we can do to humble ourselves?


• How can we turn our focus to Jesus instead of ourselves in conversation without sounding pious or super spiritual?


• How is speech that is full of grace characterized?


• What part does prayer have in the unity of the body of Christ? Are there standards defining who we pray with, how often, or of quality that we should be aware of?


• Describe a Spirit-led person. Describe a Spirit-led gathering.


• How do fear of rejection, fear of conflict, etc. interfere with relationships? How can we overcome those?


• Is the house church just another model, if so where do we go from here? Are there those breaking out of the house church model? Why?

I got tired just reading down the list. While there are some good questions here, when I first read them I was struck with how preoccupied they were with the life of ‘the group’ as an entity and not with our life in Jesus, who does have first place in all things with the church. I found myself hoping we’d forget about the list, and find the choicest fellowship at Jesus’ feet.

And that’s exactly what happened. When I arrived to gather with these people, we spent Friday evening sharing our journeys, talking about the amazing work Jesus accomplished for us on the cross and how he is calling people to himself these days. It was an awesome time of fellowship. We even had someone in the room that was a bit resistant to some of what was shared, but that even allowed us to see how to treat folks who don’t see things the same way we do.

Halfway through our time on Saturday, I said to my host, “Do we want to work on some of those questions this afternoon?”

He smiled at me and responded, “Don’t have to. They’re irrelevant.”

I loved it! I didn’t take it to be a slam on the questions, but a refocusing of our life around Jesus. As long as we are focused on the group, we’ll have an endless array of questions to deal with. When our focus is on Jesus, the questions become less important. In his presence and with his leadership he’ll make his way clear in our hearts. Having him, nothing else really matters. We went on to have a great weekend together and come away with hearts more clearly focused on his work in us and how we yield to him each day.

That’s why I’m so convinced that people preoccupied with creating fellowship rarely find it. They only end up with an unreasonable facsimile there of. But those who set their focus on Jesus and his kingdom, will in time find more fellowship than they will know what to do with.

My head and heart are still spinning from my recent swing through Virginia. I appreciated those of you who prayed for my time in Washington, DC working alongside the First Amendment Center to help to create a publication for school districts to deal with sexual orientation issues. The meeting brought people together from all sides of this issue and I was pleasantly surprised at the cooperative nature of those discussions.

I was also incredibly awed by the view. We sat in a room that had views from the Pentagon on the right, across the memorials on the Mall, the Capitol and the White House and all the way up the left to the National Cathedral. It was an awesome view. From my chair at the table, I could see the West Wing of the White House. At was a bittersweet view in some ways. I remember the first time I came to Washington some 26 years ago filled with idealism about what goes on in that city. I’ll have to admit the last 26 years have left me a bit jaded with the state of American politics, and how much our national leaders have sold out to special interests groups in the high-finance of re-election campaigns. I think my eyes are open far wider to the corruption of power and how man’s systems fall so far short of God’s glory.

Going into detail about our meeting, however, would take hours I don’t have, but we were able to talk in frank and honest terms about finding a way to ensure that no one is bullied or harassed on a public school campus, while still being honest with the fact that we as a culture we are divided in our convictions about the morality and normalcy of homosexuality. It was clear from those present that faith-based objections to homosexuality are not de facto harassment and discrimination and that it would be as inappropriate for schools to indoctrinate students into a view of homosexuality that runs counter to their beliefs and convictions. The small group of us in that room had amazing common ground as to how our culture can deal with these difficult issues and not undermine the various views represented in our culture. The trick now is to put that to words in a way that will appeal to groups who carry far more intense agendas on either side of this debate. But I was amazed at how well a group of people with such a wide diversity of views could come together and respect our differences while working for a larger common good. It’s why I love playing with the BridgeBuilders stuff when God gies me a chance.

From there I traveled to Richmond and Norfolk and talked with people who represented a wide spectrum of thought on the nature of the church. I met with a Methodist minister who is a old friend, and ended up spending a couple of hours helping a young crack addict and alcoholic find his way back to Father’s heart and got him into rehab. He just walked in off the street while we were there visiting and asked for help. What a joy to see a Prodigal find his way home. I also met with a couple of home groups sorting out next steps in their journeys, a leadership team from a traditional congregation that weren’t at all sure how what to do with my rather unorthodox views, and ended in a home with a group of folks from around Richmond on various stages of the journey. Over a scrumptious barbeque I had the chance to converse with a broad array of people, from unbelievers, to some in traditional congregations and to long-time followers of Christ who have recently given up on institutional answers. What an evening! The next day I even got in a round of golf with a good friend from the DC area before heading home.

What a trip! I don’t know if I’ve ever been with such a vast array of people from across every imaginable spectrum and see so much of Father’s fingerprints in drawing people from wherever they are closer to himself. I came away absolutely exhausted in body and mind, though wonderfully refreshed in spirit. Then I got home to our multiple real estate deals to move to a different house. What a nightmare of forms, phone calls and decisions, but we are increasingly convinced that Father has something in mind through this move, so I keep pressing through it all. But it is far more complicated than I imagined and will be a major distraction over the next few weeks as we get everything done and our stuff moved into the new house. If you’re near LA during the second weekend of June and want to help, please let me know!

Do you want to read over my shoulder gain in a recent email exchange?

My response: Your story unfortunately is not a rare one. Transformation by human effort always leads to increased performance anxiety, which leads failure, which leads to increased guilt, which leads to increased sin and the cycle continues. That’s what so insidious about the system of religious obligation. It takes our most noble intentions and hurls us down a path of guaranteed failure. It tunes our spiritual ears to the condemning, performance-based voices of our flesh, thinking they are his voice. That spirals us into the very kind of circumstances you describe.

Isn’t it great to learn, however, that that path leads not to life but to death? That’s why Paul said the mind set on the flesh is death. That is not only the mind that indulges the flesh, but also the mind that seeks to abstain from it, or the one that seeks to make the flesh please God. It can’t happen. Read Romans 8 again after what you’ve been through. I think you’ll see some wonderful things there.

I suspect God allowed you this season to break the power of religious obligation in your life, and allow you to go on in him in the spirit of Galatians 3, simply believing what you hear, and that not being demands for obedience, but his gentle winning of your heart and life in him. It’s the words of affection and security Father wants us to know so that you can live in a way that please him not out of obedience in your own effort, but out of affection that transforms us deep from within.

I’m sorry you’ve been through this, but the lesson is so valuable. Righteousness cannot come through the most well intentioned discipline, but through a growing relationship with the loving Father through the Son, our older-brother Jesus!

NORFOLK, VA— I haven’t got time right now to blog out my Thursday meeting, but I will when I have time. It was incredible, and I appreciated so much all who put me before Father on that day. In the meantime, however, I received this email exchange with one of my overseas friends a few days ago. It was a plea for prayer and some wonderful things God worked out:

I responded: I will be praying, Brother. But it sounds to me like God’s at work in people becoming more real together. That’s a good thing, but it rarely looks that way in the process. Let me know how it all sorts out,

Only a few days later he wrote back:

Community does need a jolt like that once in a while. It is easy for all of us to fall into comfortable patterns and routine and the sharing the journey grows stale. People get bored with body life when it is like that and so often we try to save it by just staying ‘committed.’ I like this approach much better. Simple honesty is where true fellowship incubates. Refreshing those relationships through times like this of open-hearted honesty and genuine concern for each other can be so powerful. It will allow people to continue on the journey together and not just fall into lifeless routines. I love what happened here.

And I love his last sentence. It is about as good a commentary on the first part of Galatians 3 as I’ve ever read. Without people listening and responding to the Spirit’s work in them, community just becomes a charade. How can people share together a journey they are not actually on? If we’re not active followers to begin with, there is nothing to build community on.

If you see this early enough today (May 12) pause a moment and pray for me, if you would.

I arrived last night in Washington, DC to work with the First Amendment Center in crafting some guidelines for public schools to deal with conflicts stemming from sexual orientation issues. They will be bringing together some of the top gay rights advocacy groups and conservative faith groups to see if we can find a way to help school districts deal with this difficult issue.

I never cease to be amazed at the ways in which God works. BridgeBuilders, came into existence 11 years ago all because Sara and I sensed some 21 years ago that he wanted us to put our children and public school and attend with them, looking to be a positive influence as they moved through it. The doors God has opened by that simple act of obedience continue to astound me. This one is no exception. Nor is it exceptional that today I feel as if I’ll be swimming in water that is far over my head and that in every way I am insufficient for the task. But isn’t that where his sufficiency gets to work best?

Of course, there is no guarantee we’ll get to any solutions today, but it amazes me that the conversation is taking place and that God has asked me to be part of it. It would be inappropriate for me to give more details than that, and I may not be able to talk in specific terms about the outcome. But today, I would appreciate your prayers that God’s wisdom and character would find expression in my life today. Thanks.

After this meeting I head downstate to meet with a variety of people. I’ll be at a home group in Haymarket tonight, have breakfast on Friday with the man who presided over Sara and my wedding and who has remained a dear friend and fellow-traveler for over 30 years, and meet with various groupings of believers in Norfolk and Richmond over the weekend. I’ll have to admit I am really looking forward to this weekend as I reconnect with old friends and make new ones.

Our Sixth Webcast of The God Journey has just been posted on our sister website. In “Believers Outside the Box” Wayne and Brad discuss three articles that have appeared in major publications about believers who have left traditional congregations. It is topic we only scratched the surface of, but I’m sure we’ll revisit it more and more. Thanks to all who helped us think through this topic with your contributions through our blogs and comment lines. We are blessed that so many of you listen in to our Webcast and find it a helpful resource to thinking outside the box. If you have questions or subjects you’d like us to address in future shows, please be sure to let us know.

I got the following email the other day from a brother name Hal about my most recent book. He pegs my favorite part of that book and I thought some of you might find our exchange helpful.

I don’t know that I can recommend a book to sort this out. I think we truly sort it out in life listening to Father as we work through our relationships with others. The more we see how our expectations destroy our freedom to love others, and how it turns them into a pawn for our own needs, the more we’ll distrust them. And besides, once we learn to rely on God to meet all our needs, there will be nothing left to ‘expect’ from others. It’s amazing. At the same time, people even become a greater blessing in our lives because God will use them to touch us, but not having our expectations in the way of that doesn’t confuse it.

And I do think it is freedom from all expectations, because we aren’t very good at discerning between our own expectations and God’s. And besides I’m not sure God has expectations of us. He gives us opportunities and allows us to do exactly what is in our heart to do. Genuineness is what is close to God’s heart, not people performing to please others.

I get to live in him today as freely as I am able, and release my brothers and sisters to do the same…

What a crazy week!

For some time Sara and I have felt restless about the home we live in and wondering if God was preparing to move us. This home has served us well as Sara was starting her way working in education and attending night classes for her Master’s degree, but it had some real downsides to it as well. When our daughter and her husband moved further away a few months ago to buy a home closer to the city, and asked us to move closer to them, we wondered if that might be part of it. Sara and Julie both watch out for each other when I am on the road, or Julie’s husband is. We regretted losing that when they moved away. Also, Julie has wanted to help in our office with order fulfillment and other administrative tasks as she cares for her new granddaughter. Hmmmm… But her being 45 minutes away would make that a bit complicated.

On the way to the airport for my flight to Boise a couple of weeks ago, Sara and I talked about moving and though Sara felt it was time to move, I was hopeful we would wait until Fall. Once I get into late June, I don’t have a window in my schedule to work with a move. But we agreed that it wouldn’t hurt to start looking in that area. One of the places we had talked about was the eastside of Moorpark, a more rural section with quiet hillsides and easy freeway access.

Believe it or not on her first trip out Sara found a home she fell in love with. She kept calling me every day telling me more about it. To buy it, though we would have to sell our home quickly and make an offer on the other house. It just didn’t seem possible, but we could give it the old college try.

Tuesday we listed our home. We had eight families through it the next day and sold it exactly what we needed to to purchase the other home. Last night we signed papers on the home Sara found and will move in June 9-11, just before my travel schedule goes nuts! A lot of things still have to come together for this to happen, but as I sit here this morning I am amazed at the Lord’s timing in all of this. Sara even had a job interview with a high school a week and a half ago that is only a few miles from our new home. If she gets that job so close to where we’re planning on moving, I think I’ll faint.

There’s some other real joys of moving in this house. It is on some hills behind the community college with 30 miles of open land behind our house. For an old country boy, I get claustrophobic in the city. I want room to breath and go for long walks. I’ll be closer to the airports I fly from and even have a train that can take me to one of them. It has a bonus room that will make a wonderful office for me and it has a kitchen built for entertaining. There are some wonderful out-of-the-box believers in that area that Sara and I have wanted to walk with more closely. It is also near one of the best and most affordable golf courses in this area that I enjoy playing.

And, it’s less than 10 minutes from our daughter’s house. Before we closed the deal, I made sure I had my son-in-law’s blessing. I told him I thought 45 minutes was about the right distance away for in-laws, and wouldn’t be offended if he didn’t want us too close. He laughed off my concerns telling me they would love to have us closer.

So, if everything works out, we will have sold and bought a home in less than three days and will have ample time to move before the summer begins. Nothing this huge has been quite this simple for us before, but if God had it on his heart to move us this summer, this was about the only way it could be done. It may all fall through for reasons we can’t see yet, but we’re still a bit winded from an incredible set of circumstances this week and hopeful that God has made a way for us when there seemed to be no way.

I’ve been having a bit of conversation with a brother from Maryland about the role of teaching in the reality of the Body of Christ. I thought some of you would appreciate that exchange. Here’s what he first asked:

My Response: In my mind teaching is simply helping people get some truth that will help them live more deeply in Christ. To me it happens as simply as in a conversation with someone else, where the other person may not ever have identified with ‘being taught’, but nonetheless their eyes were open to something that didn’t see before. It can also happen in smaller groups with a more focused ‘sharing’ on the part of someone that others have wanted to hear from. And yes, speaking to large groups who want to hear is also a way to do that.

In my view, however, more people always mean a less effective teaching environment. The best is one-on-one where questions can be asked and answered as a discussion ensues in the real time of the hearer. The least desirable is one-on-thousands where one has to speak to the lowest common denominator. Not that it can’t or should be done, but everyone just needs to know the limitations it imposes. I teach in all of these settings with some regularity and don’t have a problem being in any environment in which Jesus calls me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t see teaching as a ‘gift’ someone must do and others must hear. I certainly see the ability to communicate God’s truth as a gift, but it is not controlled by the ‘teacher’, but by what the hearers want to hear. In other words, it should be something imposed by the teacher, but sought by the hearers, recognizing the gift or wisdom someone has that will help them in their journeys.

My Response:I love his last paragraph here. Isn’t it amazing how easily our systemic paradigms obliterate the example of Jesus? He didn’t exercise a gift that others needed to listen to. He lived his life and God opened up opportunities with individuals and crowds because they were drawn to what he had to give. He scheduled no regular meetings or studies. He didn’t do a ‘lecture’ series anywhere. The irresistible power of his message and his character drew people to his side. That doesn’t mean scheduled meetings or lecture series are wrong; it’s just that they are not so essential as others might think.

There is great value in the gift of teaching for us all in the body. Just because we don’t ‘need’ to be taught by anyone as Hebrews 8 and I John suggest, doesn’t mean there isn’t great value in learning the lessons of folks that have walked a ways ahead of where we are. It’s just that we must take care not to grow dependent on their experience, but use it to help us draw more closely to him.

I’m back from Idaho and Utah, and had a fabulous time meeting with scores of people from all around that area who are in various stages of sorting out what it means to live as God’s child in the world and relate to the church as a family rather than an institution. The discussions were incredible. I met lots of people who with great passion and courage are following God’s leading rather than making themselves comfortable with the status quo. I love that stuff! And I love watching people live on the edge of their relationship with God and not be lulled into boredom by religious routine.

This really came home with a phone call I had a couple of days ago. I was talking to a friend I’ve known for almost 35 years and one of the first ‘mentors’ I had in helping me see the glories of relational life in God and in real community among the Body of Christ. As we were reminiscing about our days together his voice lowered and he said, “It’s sad to think that my best days were my earliest days.”

I was stunned. And, yes, it was incredibly sad. I wouldn’t say he is unhappy now, but for the past few decades he has been a pastor in a mainline denomination. He does that better than anyone I know. He really has a heart for people and gives himself for their good, rather than making them cogs in his own vision. Nonetheless, I could hear the tiredness in his voice as he paused now only a couple of years from retirement. He had hoped for so much more.

I remember thinking like that as well a decade or so ago as my life got caught up in the day to day demands of religious machinery that seemed to always beckon me away from the deeper callings of my heart. I remember reading 2 Corinthians 3:18 one day, “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory…” or as one translation says, “From glory to glory….” I used to joke that this journey seems a lot more like “from pit to pit,” rather than from “glory to glory” and I remember lots of people getting a good chuckle out of that. We used to look at the exuberance of new converts and remember with longing those early days. We used to think, ”Just wait until they mature a bit then they will be as bored with this Christian life as the rest of us.” How sad!

Our earliest days were never meant to be our best days. And I have found they are not. Ten years ago I was on that long, painful slide into numbness that religious routine smothers us with. Thankfully, God drew us out of that and gave us a taste of real life in him and real relationships with brothers and sisters. I wouldn’t trade the experiences of the last year for any one previous. It really is from glory to glory that he changes us. That doesn’t mean every day is blissful, but that we see his hand ever-working even in the pain and sacrifice that his life calls us to. And we see the growing imprint of his nature on ours.

That’s what makes it all worthwhile. Don’t let your spiritual life slowly decline into mere routine or commitment. Pour out your heart to him and let him renew you in the glory of his life and set you on the track that takes you further into his glory every day, instead of further away from it. Don’t let yourself get to the end of your days, pining away for the ‘good old days,’ Rather, let him lead you ever-closer to him so that each day reflects his glory better than those who’ve gone before.