Encouragement

Saw this quote the other day, and it rings so true for me:

The most familiar books reveal more about themselves when we attend to them anew. And our growing experience allows us to approach our favorites from different angles. In a sense, rereading the same book produces new insights because the reader is a different person. Indeed, a good book is very much like a mirror: The glass is the same year after year, but the reflection in it changes over time.

Christopher Nelson, President of St. John’s College

And if it’s true than our favorite books are an incredible guide to what God is doing in our hearts.  My favorite book is the Bible. I’ve been reading it for over 50 years, nearly every day and it marks well the course my journey has taken. Initially I was absorbed in the story of Jesus and then came upon a long stretch where I read it as a demanding rule book and came way from it either condemned by how far short I fell of its aspirations, or falsely convinced that i could live up to it on my own. Over the years, however, I’ve come to read it not as a rule book, but an unfolding revelation of God’s true nature and how it took thousands of years for us to even begin to see how good and gracious he is. That’s why when you read it you’ll notice that not everything humans thought of God turned out to be true. Jesus came to show us what he was really like and that made all the difference. In him we see the reality of the Father.

Now as I read though this amazing book I see continual insights about God’s passion for humanity, the process by which he changes us and that I don’t have to clean myself up for him. In fact my own best efforts can thwart what he really wants to do in me. And I love how each time I read it, even in the most familiar passages, something new comes into focus I hadn’t seen before. Just the other day Sara and I were reading a well-worn passage in my Bibles, Matthew 6, and we stumbled upon something we had never seen before about why God works in secret and why we might want to help others an unobtrusively as he does.

As I read the Bible now I not only seen humanity growing up to recognize who God really is, but I see my entire journey waking up to that same reality. What a journey it has been!  The pages remind me of past misinterpretations that led me down dead ends, and newer insights that have allowed me to increasingly live in the beauty of his work in my life. I’m more patient with passages I don’t understand and refuse to get caught in speculations that we just don’t know yet. I’m relaxed about the fact that what is important in the Bible is very clear, and what is unclear isn’t that important.

It is a grand mirror indeed and a faithful companion on this journey of knowing him.

(Note:  Wayne prepared a video series years ago to help people with this process of interpreting Scripture.  It is free on line at The Jesus Lens.)

Someone posted this little story on our God Journey blog this past week. I’ve not heard this story before, but I love what it says and found my heart screaming, “Me too!”

A wise man was once asked, “Do you wrestle with God?”

The wise man replied, “Yes.”

Then he was asked,  “Do you hope to win?”

“No”, said the wise man, “I hope to lose!”

The best things I’ve discovered on this journey have come out of deep wrestlings with God, often in my own selfishness or ignorance hoping he’ll come to see it my way and give me what I think is best.

It’s in the wrestling with him through my own frustrations and disappointments, fears and anxieties, often over significant chunks of time that the light finally dawns and I see into a wider world where I come to see the folly of my own thoughts and ideas and come to rest in his.

And that is always good. Losing is good when it happens with a Father who loves us more than we can possibly conceive.

Don’t despise the days of wrestling with him in the deepest part of our soul. It is part of the process and can be a portal to great freedom.

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I tried to resource this little story and could not find it posted this way anywhere else on the Internet. If you know first said this, I would enjoy knowing. Thanks.

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“If God loves me so much, why can’t I feel his love?”

I am convinced that the Father’s love through Jesus is a tangible reality in the life of a believer. We may begin this journey by an intellectual conviction that God is love and that he loves all of humanity, but until it becomes a knowable reality in our lives it will be difficult to hold on to when difficult circumstances arise.

But I hesitate to say that’s a feeling, because people then look for God to give them a “feeling” of his love and are often disappointed when that doesn’t happen the way they expect. Here’s a recent email exchange that may shed some light on this dilemma:

I have been asking God to reveal His love to me… and I have been just letting it be what it will be. The greatest struggle I have is wondering where God is.  I know He never leaves me or forsakes me.  I have the knowledge of that.  I’ve just been so very confused.  I am finding myself wondering if I’ve somehow been looking for a “feeling” of love as that’s what the religious way taught me.  “Do this and you will feel good about your relationship and God’s pleasure over you.”  The more I did the closer I felt… the more right I felt, the more godly I felt.  You get the picture.  So now that I’ve dropped the performance I don’t feel much.

Let me share this from my blog with you? “Today I was reminded of the days I stood outside the door of my child.  I longed to go in and get them yet knew if I did it would prolong what they needed—rest.  So I waited outside.  I was never far from them.  I was right there, listening, attentively to the sounds emanating from their tiny bodies.  Nothing could stop that. Could it be that on my  long nights of pain as I cried out He stood just outside the door waiting, as I did with my own? Could it be it’s what I needed the most?  As I remember the days with my own I am left to wonder.  Has He been standing outside the door allowing the weariness to take over my soul leading to lead me to a new place of rest? This is a game changer for me.”

Is there an aspect of the religious way that encourages a love based on feelings?  Or is that just me?  The question I find myself asking is what am I expecting God’s love to look like anyways?  I would think this is part of the purging of religion when you’ve been as performing as I have.

That is a game-changer. However, I don’t see God just waiting outside, but actively at work inside to draw your mind and emotions into that space where he makes himself known. That’s where the analogy breaks down.  But from our perspective, it might seem like he’s just waiting because we can’t see what he is doing. Knowing his love does not come from performance but in letting him reveal himself however he deems best. It is a process and takes some time because he’s training your spiritual eyes to look in a different direction than they’ve been looking. So, yes, a purging is going on.

Our feelings are important, but they are often misinformed. They always point to something in the way we’re thinking or perceiving life, ourselves, or God. When the perception changes, so will your feelings. As you grow more secure in Father’s love outside of performing you will have more moments of “feeling” his love. It will come in time. All you can do is keep your heart open to the way God is showing himself to you. I suspect some recalibrating is going on. Your feelings were drawn from one source, and God is linking them up to something greater.

While writing this I received a message from a woman in South Africa talking about her own journey.  Widowed and sorting out God’s love she wrote this:  “Up until I listened to you and Sara I was not-in-denial but dead-numb. Then I cried………. huge sobs…. and now my wings are starting….. to quiver.”

I got goose bumps reading that. We never know what will finally allow everything to fall in place so that his reality becomes tangible in our experience, but when it does your feelings will reflect that reality.  So don’t look for God to suddenly give you a feeling as proof of his love. Look for how is love is being shown to you and then your feelings will wrap around that.  The knowing creates the feeling; the feeling does not create the knowing.

Looks like someone is in for a good time! She sent me this photo last week after opening a package from Lifestream. I can’t tell you how many people over the last eight years have told me that the synergy of these three books was instrumental in helping them finally grasp the reality of how deeply God loves them and launched them on a more fruitful journey into the reality of Christ. Each book comes at the same subject from different angles and in the end they could finally see a reality that is bigger than all of them. He is a loving Father, and he wants to walk with you through your life celebrating your joys and helping you through the painful and broken bits.  

That’s not easy to grasp. Many Christians think of God as distant or demanding force and work so hard to appease him. It’s an amazing moment to discover that while God is smart enough not to do our bidding, he’s loving enough to invite us into his way of viewing us, the world, and others.  

While in Orange County a couple of weeks ago one lady shared with me how God made that clear to her and it didn’t have anything to do with any of those books. She was in the woods having a frustrated conversation with God about some of the disappointment in her life and what she wanted God to change. In the midst of her rant she heard him speak in her heart, “You approach me as if I am an opposing party.”  It wasn’t a question or an accusation, simply an observation. And what an observation it was! She said it exploded in her heart as she realized that she didn’t think of herself alongside him but One making life more difficult for her, or at least One who wouldn’t fix it the way she wanted. That moment transformed her relationship with Father that continues to bear frult. 

Learning to see our Father as the redemptive presence in our lives is where this journey begins. The enemy wants us to see him through our disappointments and pain as if he caused them as some punishment for our failings or to teach us some valuable lesson. No wonder people have a hard time seeing him for who he is. He is not our advesary; but a loving presence in our lives. He wants to walk with you through all of life and show you his glory even in the darkest moments. 

He is not and never has been your opposition. He is the greatest friend you’ll ever know and if you don’t know that yet, ask him to show you. He will.  

Some emails really do make my day….

I was an honors graduate from the seminary at Regent University and spent 15 years in pastoral ministry. I had given up a successful career as a television writer-producer to enter seminary. I was sure God knew of this major sacrifice and that He would, therefore, bless my life in ministry. However, for several reasons, 11 years ago, I merged my church with another and left vocational ministry. I now realize that I was under the huge burden of performance based acceptance and that I was teaching it to my own flock and, even worse, my own children.

I wanted to let you know that your book, He Loves Me, has had the deepest impact of all in transforming my heart and renewing my mind. Do you want to know how many times I’ve read HE LOVES ME over the past 2 years? I’ve read it all the way through 15 times!  As soon as I complete it, I begin reading it again, only 1 – 2 segments each morning. Its the first thing I do each day and I always look forward to it. God has spoken deeply to my heart about this book. Yes, I’ve read other fine books that also present these truths and they are wonderful. But He Loves Me is, to me, the foundational book of all of them. I have been through a career change in the past year, while also going through the steps of proceeding toward the divorce my wife wants. So money has been in short supply. So, to share this message the best I can, I have been buying used copies of He Loves Me onine. I keep them in my car. And, as God directs me, I am able to give copies to the individuals He points out to me.

Wayne, I expect to keep reading He Loves Me until they lay me in my final resting place. Second only to the Bible, it is a real book of life. I have grown more and more comfortable focusing on elements of my own life as being opportunities for God to glorify Himself in me. I have read a few of your other books and they also have wonderfully explained truths. But He Loves Me is just different. (Believe me, brother, I rarely read ANY book more than once. I’m just not a reader. There is something deeply spiritual that reveals itself in childlike simplicity. So, clearly, the Holy Spirit directed your writing of it.) I get new insights from He Loves Me everytime I read it!  And each person I give it to tells me how wonderful it is!

My son is a successful Christian rock guitarist with a band that has a strong Gospel message mainly aimed at young people on the fringe of society. Though I had raised my children under the Law, I asked him as my Father’s Day gift this year to read He Loves Me and then let us discuss it. When we had our discussion, his first remark was, “Dad, this is a total game changer.”

I am absolutely certain that, like myself, there are thousands of others whose lives are being transformed every single day by the work God continues to do through you.  I wanted to thank you for enduring the many, many struggles you and your family must have faced over the years in letting God send this message through you.

While I’m saddened by a lot of the pain I read between the lines, I want to thank you for taking the time to write. I’m amazed at how this book has been so helpful in shaping a new journey for you. Father’s affection is an amazing reality that rewrites just about everything in our lives. And just because I was blessed so mcuh I’m going to send you a free case of He Loves Me books to help in your sharing with others.  And for those interested, He Loves Me is also avaiable in Spanish.

And if you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping yet, some of our books at Lifestream may be a real inspiration to your family and friends, especially A Man Like No Other. That book flew off the table this weekend while I was in Orange County with its fascinating pictures from the life of Jesus and text to stimulate thought about just who this Jesus was as he lived among us.

Sara and I saw a movie recently about two national figures who had acted honorably even though most people didn’t think so. They were the victims of false assumptions and accusations by people who didn’t know what was true or didn’t care. Instead of being celebrated as the heroes they were, they were vilified by the media and others. Neither had the platform to clear up the misconceptions.

At the end of the movie they are sitting together on a plane and one turns to the other and said that he didn’t do what others thought he had done. The other looked into his eyes and said, “I know.  But the only thing that matters is that you know.”

It is so easy to take our identity from what others think of us, and what may be said about us in social media. As one who has had a lot of negative things said about him  based on assumptions and sometimes outright lies, I was touched by this movie. My heart was warmed as I was reminded that what others think doesn’t matter. We are not who people think we are and it only matters what we know to be true.

But I would add something greater still. Not only do we know, but God knows as well and doesn’t that make an even bigger difference? Of all the ugly things said and written about me the ones that hurt the most are the lies told by those I thought were close friends—people I have loved and served at personal cost. Nothing amazes me more than that another human being would chose a lie over a friendship, but it happens. Even there, when someone lies and others around them don’t know the truth, it is more than enough that God knows.

Perhaps nothing is a better indication of what I’m living for. If I’m frustrated by the lies and misunderstandings of others, then I’m probably staking my identity on what others think of me. Instead of being real, I will try to provide an image that wins their approval. But when I’m living to God and not the notoriety of the crowd or the accolades of media, then it matters not at all that others misunderstand or don’t even know. Knowing that he knows is all that matters. When I’ve done what he has asked then I can be at peace even in the misplaced judgments of others.

And, that is an awesome freedom, one of those I appreciate most from this part in the journey. I couldn’t do most of what I do in the world today if I were more afraid of how I might look than what is real and honest. I wasn’t always that way but knowing his love his increasingly becomes the only opinion I value. Live to an audience of One and the distortions of this age will not trouble you because at the end of it all, only what’s true will matter.

There is no such thing as the right place, the right job, the right calling or ministry. I can be happy or unhappy in all situations. I am sure of it, because I have been. I have felt distraught and joyful in situations of abundance as well as poverty, in situations of popularity and anonymity, in situations of success and failure. The difference was never based on the situation itself, but always on my state of mind and heart. When I knew I was walking with God, I always felt happy and at peace. When I was entangled in my own complaints and emotional needs, I always felt restless and divided.

Henri J. M. Nouwen in Seeking Peace

I really appreciate this quote from Henri Nouwen. Our culture seduces us to an unending and unfulfillable quest to make every circumstance just the way we want it, and to great frustration when we cannot do it. Life is unpredictable and circumstances can bring incredible challenges out of no where and then we feel so unloved by God. You will never get your circumstances exactly how you want them, but you can set your eyes on him no matter what you’re going through. Most of my infected with laughter moments have come in the midst of great challenge or risk. 

Being at rest in God’s love and in our place on the journey has nothing to do with our circumstances, only our engagement with him. Don’t seek the outcome you desire, but God’s unfolding grace regardless of circumstance and you won’t be disappointed.  

Religious obligation makes our world narrower.  The harder we work to keep God on our side, the more demanding and judmental we become of others. We resent those who seem to have more fun that we do and judge those who don’t work as hard as we do.  It makes us angry, bitter, and frustrated with ourselves and others.  Freedom in Christ, however, makes our world more expansive, alive, and filled withi joy.

I’ve never ead Eberhard Arnold, but I’ve seen a lot of quotes from him lately that really resonate with me.  This one does.  Unfortunately I don’t know what the antecedent is to his conclusion.  I have no idea what he would say about Jesus that makes our live broader, boundless, and more abundant.  But every conclusion he makes below I see in the lives of those who are learning to live as God’s beloved children in the earth. Knowing God as a gracious Father and sharing that graciousness with others, not only transforms us into his image, but leaves us more full of joy and graciousness to others at the same time. This is a process, undoubtedly and takes some time, but this describes so well the people I know in the world who are learning to live in the reality of Father’s affection:

Our life will become not narrower, but broader; not more limited, but more boundless; not more regulated, but more abundant; not more pedantic, but more bounteous; not more sober, but more enthusiastic; not more faint-hearted, but more daring; not more empty and human, but more filled by God; not sadder, but happier; not more incapable, but more creative. All this is Jesus and his spirit of freedom and peace. He is coming to us. Let us go into his future radiant with joy!

— Eberhard Arnold in A Joyful Pilgrimage

I love this journey and how it shapes our lives to express more of his reality to people around us when we’re not even trying.