What Love Transforms

When three different people send you a copy of the same book in the same week, you take note.  About a month ago Sara and I were able to start reading Love Does by Bob Goff.  We have found it a delightful read as Bob shares his adventures in learning to live inside of love, both for himself and for others around him.

This one paragraph really caught my eye, because I think it is the essence of transformative love. You cannot know God’s kind of love without it changing you from the inside and finding yourself a freer, kinder person in the world, not because you have to but because you’re free to be the person Jesus made you to be:

“The cool thing about taking Jesus up on His offer is that whatever controls you doesn’t anymore. People who used to be obsessed about becoming famous no longer care whether anybody knows their name. People who used to want power are willing to serve. People who used to chase money freely give it away. People who used to beg others for acceptance are now strong enough to give love.”

That’s what love does. It reshapes us from the inside. You don’t learn to love by trying to change the way you feel about these things. Instead learning to live inside the love of God changes your value systems, often while you’re least aware it is going on. I am so enjoying the things that love is reshaping in me and I’m excited to see what it will yet change as I find myself valuing more what God values.

Someone also sent the this quote from the NPR show On Being by Omid Safi about busyness:

“This disease of being ‘busy’ (and let’s call it what it is, the dis-ease of being busy, when we are never at ease) is spiritually destructive to our health and wellbeing. It saps our ability to be fully present with those we love the most in our families, and keeps us from forming the kind of community that we all so desperately crave.”

It speaks into that same space. We’re not busy because the world demands it of us, we’re busy to run from ourselves and those around us as a retreat from the insecurities in our own heart. As those insecurities are cleansed by his love, you’ll find yourself far less busy. There’s no reason to be anymore and having time for the people in  your life will allow you to experience the richness of real community, not just another meeting to rush off to or another responsibility to check off your list.

(Health update:  For those concerned about my recovery from open-heart surgery, all continues as well as can be expected, which is a bit too slow for me.  🙂  I’m now three weeks from surgery in some pain and discomfort at times, but mostly just allowing the trauma to heal and my strength to recover. I’m walking about 4 miles per day now and will begin cardio therapy in a week or so. This has been quite a process, but filled with some lovely things God has done in the midst of it all.  I’ll share those some day too. My family has been an incredible source of care and courage to get through this. For now, it is back to sleep, which seems to sneak up on me without notice and without my permission!)

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Recovery Update #2

Walking. Walking. Walking. It’s a good thing I enjoy it, because that’s the regimen now.  I’m nearly two weeks out from open-heart surgery and according to my doctors I’m on the upside of the recovery curve. I was home after two days, have nearly stopped all pain meds  and can function at about 80% of normal for 4-5 hours a day. All in all this has been way easier than I had thought watching my dad go through this 12 years ago.

But there were some significant differences in our two surgeries. He also had triple bypass; by God’s grace my arteries were clear and I did not need any bypasses and thus did not have the extra load of having arteries harvested from elsewhere for the grafts. Also, I didn’t get my entire rib cage split open. My surgeon has been part of team developing a less-intrusive procedure only opening the top half of the rib cage instead of the whole thing. Also, the technology of these procedures has also changed significantly leading to better recovery times. So I’m not anticipating taking a year to recover as I’ve heard from many other open-heart patients and for them I’m thankful.

So as Thanksgiving approaches, I’m really grateful: for an unexpected warning during a soccer scrum with my granddaughter, for skilled doctors, surgeons, and nurses who knew exactly what to do and were the most amazing people, for God’s care during the harrowing moments just before and just after surgery, for the support of my wife and my family who carried me through this with compassion, humor, and kindness. And of course, there were so many of you who sent greetings my way, prayers God’s way, and many who came by to visit and distract me from the long hours of staring into space.

And I love how many of you wrote me about others you were praying for in your life alongside your prayers for me.  That was so cool. Thank you for doing that.  And I received emails from people suffering worse than me, or with loved ones that were facing imminent death because they were beyond medical help. This world really is cruel and I have prayed for your loved ones as I have been prayed for by so many others. It is good to share the fellowship of suffering and not pretend a life in God is always full of ease and happiness. This is a broken world, and even Jesus navigated it often with “loud cries and tears” raised to God.

My friend David said I should “relish” this experience. I’m not sure I got there. His encouragement, though helped me see a different way to navigate this surgery. I got to a  place where I no longer fought it, or fought God in it. I let him have the reigns on these circumstances and relaxed into his goodness. He’s been here with me, but I know some are waiting for new revelations of God’s reality or of my mortality, but this didn’t play out that way. God was just with me as we are navigating these events. I was more touched by a movie I saw last night, ARRIVAL, than anything that happened in surgery. It was not at all what I was expecting and I mean deeply touched at a Matrix-like level of seeing into some things God has been showing me for some time.  More on that at some future time, I think.

Two weeks out and I’m truly amazed at how all this has gone. It’s nice to be mostly pain free now and only a bit uncomfortable at times. I’m glad I can read and stay focused for a significant chunk of the day. And I’m grateful to get out and go for a walk or even to a movie last night with Sara. Things are getting back to a better normal. I’ve got some more recovery time, obviously, and am looking forward to a quiet Thanksgiving season ahead with my family. After that I begin some cardio rehab to get my body back up to speed, but I’m grateful all this is on track for me to still be part of the Israel Tour leaving at the end of January.

And look who came to visit me yesterday afternoon to pick-up my spirits.  That panda on the right is Pepper, a gift from my daughters’ family. The kids fill her with hugs so when I need to cough or sneeze, I can hold her to my chest with their love… So sweet!

img_7858

So wherever this journey takes you, I trust that you too find gratitude and thanksgiving rising toward God as he walks alongside you helping you find your life in him, not your circumstances.

Recovery Update #2 Read More »

Surgery Plus Seven

It’s been a slow, steady climb out of the trauma toward the light of normalcy again.  It’s just over there. I can see it from here, but it still eludes my grasp. Many of you keep asking for an update, so here it is.

It’s still hard to fathom that a week ago today a surgeon cut into my chest and heart to replace a valve that had reached the end of its usefulness. Before surgery he told me I had a fifty/fifty chance of surviving 24 months without surgery and after it that my life expectancy is now what it would have been if I’d never been born with the offending valve.  The marvels of medical science is astounding.

Just remember I’m still in my post-surgical haze so everything is clouded by that. This has not been easy. Dealing with the trauma my body has suffered is unlike anything I’ve been through before. My medical team says the metabolism of my body dealing with all that trauma is like running a marathon every day for about two weeks. I can’t imagine that since I feel so lethargic and unfocused, but I’ll be glad when those two weeks are up.  That said, I notice every day that things are improving, some pain less intense or of less duration. I have a bit more strength to breathe deeper, walk further, or stay awake longer.

Two days after surgery I was released from the hospital to continue my healing at home. It was great to get her, though my world is still pretty small at this point. I’d hoped I’d be able to do some writing or at least some reading in the great expanse of uncommitted time now available to me, but I can’t focus enough to do either.  So instead I am learning  to rest and let this body heal. It’s so weird just sitting around, having the time but not the energy to do things that I love.

I had to return briefly to the hospital yesterday due to a potential complication, but that situation turned out to be a fall concern so I’m still on track. Though the next week is still the most difficult, I get the idea that I won’t be doing much through the end of the year.  I can’t say that God has been overwhelmingly present in all this as some have prayed, but I know he has been there alongside holding me in his presence and the guiding hand behind so many other hands who have touched and inspired me.

One of the great joys in this has been finding an astounding medical team just down the street. When this began I had friends push me toward the best medical care available to me in Southern California for this kind of operation. It turned out that one of the leading surgeons had just been hired away from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center by our local hospital to create a new world-class heart-care center in Ventura County. Fortunately I’ve gotten to stay close to home and he and his team have been fabulous. I couldn’t be more grateful for their skill, care and their accessibility.

More than anything I’ve come to appreciate the love of family and friends.  Even though Sara has been dealing with her own medical challenges for the last few months involving some significant back and hip pain she threw herself into the breach to help with my needs and fully supporting me emotionally through this entire process. Even though I knew this surgery was in my future, when it all came down, it did so far quicker than I could process. I was three days from flying to the midwest when informed that surgery needed to be done right now. It all felt so disorienting and yet her calm and caring presence would cut through the options and help me clarify what needed to be done and when. None of those choices i liked, however. (On the positive side, having it so quickly means I’ll fully recover in time for the Israel Tour I have at the end of January.)

My children and grandchildren have been great as well. Offering very welcomed distractions and helping Sara with my needs. I’m so grateful that they wanted to be with me through all of this and I have treasured the extra time I’ve had with all of them and the concern they have demonstrated for me.

I have also appreciated the brief visits of good friends from all over the world. Someone even came by from Tennessee who was in LA on business, and I’ve had others connect by phone or by Skype. You can’t imagine what a delight it is to have someone show up unexpectedly in a long, slow day and bring a spot of sunshine into it.  So if you want to check in don’t be shy.  If I’m not up to it we’ll be honest, but please don’t assume I’m not. Conversation with good friends is incredibly healing and if I can’t take your call, please know that hearing from you still brought a smile to my face.

lindsaybday

One last thing.  Here I am on Monday night with a Lindsay the birthday girl who wanted to celebrate by being with Sara and me. Her family also got me that cute little Panda, named Pepper, to grasp to my wound when In need to cough. Every time I do, I reminded of their love.  It turns out that Lindsay, who initially blamed herself for hurting me because my incident first happened playing soccer with her, is now being credited with potentially saving my life. That incident alerted the doctors to a more immediate surgical response than they had planned.  One said she’d probably saved my life. So Lindsay pulls the hero card when she needs, as when she wants to visit, but cannot due to other needs prods further with: “But didn’t I save his life.”  So incredibly Lindsay and tirelessly cute!

So thanks for all your love and prayers.  I’ve been well-carried through this bump in the road and am so grateful to all of you, many I’ve never met, who walked with me through this ordeal. Please be aware of others around you may need this kind of care and may have far less people who care than I do. Love goes a long way to healing a broken heart, of whatever stripe.

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We’re Taking a Break, to Fix One!

I hoped this week to be leaving for the upper Midwest. Instead I’m headed for heart surgery this week barring some kind of incredible healing.  Time, however, is running out for that. Unfortunately my heart is broken.  I’ve was born with a defective valve in my heart and it has taken me about as far in this life as it could. Doctors are telling me that now is the time to replace it. Tomorrow morning I will have an angiogram at 8:00 am and then surgery decisions will be made from there. I could have open-heart surgery as early as Thursday.

I’ll admit that this doesn’t thrill me. I have an aversion to pain and all things medical. I’ve made it through 63 years of life without so much as an overnight stay in a hospital, broken bone, or even stitches. I’ve been very fortunate medically and have always been grateful for my good health. Now, however,r we are entering a different season for Sara and me. So for the next few weeks (months?) I’m going to take the time to deal with this and walk my family through it. I’m not going to be doing a lot of medical updates or details. We’ll let you know what we can when we can, mostly through my Author Page on Facebook. If you want those updates “like” that page and use the menu under “liked” to check “See First”.  That way you won’t miss those updates.

I know many of you will be praying for us and it is deeply appreciated. We don’t lack for friends and family that care deeply. I will get more of that than I deserve, but I do want to share it. So if you want to pray me through this would you do me a favor? Find someone around you who may not have as many connections as we do, but also has a deep need in prayer, and pray for them every time you pray for me.  That would be awesome!

And please give us some space here.  I won’t be answering emails and I pray they don’t build up to something unmanageable. Of course visits, calls and well-wishes from close friends will be welcome as I begin to mend!  I’m sure I’ll get pretty bored staring at the ceiling all day.  But I’m not going to be doing much writing or updating websites. We have a couple more podcasts to air, one of them recorded just before my surgery.

We talk about this on the last podcast, but I also want to share it here. A few days go, Dave Coleman, a good friend and co-author of The Jake Book wrote me a note about my impending surgery. It brought such encouragement to my heart at so many levels.  I’m not sure I’m going to “Relish it!”, but I am going to relish God in this experience and see how he makes himself known to me.

I know it will probably sound strange, but these times are a real opportunity to meet Father in ways not possible in everyday living.  It will teach you among other things, the meaning of “vulnerability” and to understand how we serve a God who made himself vulnerable on our behalf so that He can identify with our need as we understand his heart as well.

At times like this, we tend to feel that He is throwing us under the bus, but in reality, it is an opportunity to take part in the growth process in which He continues to make “all things new.”  He doesn’t always protect us from these kinds of situations, but inhabits them to draw us closer to Him.  In religion we think we are being punished, but we know differently. By allowing us to embrace even the brokenness of the human experience we can know him better and others can see and understand the power of a restored relationship that was lost in the garden.

On the fourth night after my surgery, I knew I was going to die due to a medical mistake which caused severe convulsions, and I was afraid my 20 inch incision would open…. desperation thinking took over and I said, “It is up to You.”  I don’t remember if I actually heard the words, but somewhere in my mind, I heard “thank you,” and slept quietly through the night.  Relish this experience.  Do what you can by insisting on the best surgeon, hospital, staff, etc.  You plant, and He will give the increase.  Peace and encouragement, comfort and joy to you and family…

Psalm 62

Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken…. Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge… One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard: “Power belongs to you, God, and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”.

Psalm 91:1-2

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Gotta love that!

 

 

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Until You Learn Powerlessness

 Anyone who has not gone on journeys of powerlessness will invariably abuse power.

A good friend sent me a recent devotional from Richard Rohr, thinking I would love it!  I did!  In fact I share it with Brad on tomorrow’s podcast at The God Journey, but I wanted to highlight some of it here and give you a chance to read it before.  I love the whole thing and how most ancient initiation rites led men into feelings of powerlessness so that he would not abuse that power, especially in male-dominated societies.

He goes on (emphases mine):

Jesus clearly taught the twelve disciples about surrender, the necessity of suffering, humility, servant leadership, and nonviolence. They resisted him every time, and so he finally had to make the journey himself and tell them, “Follow me!” But Christians have preferred to hear something Jesus never said: “Worship me.” Worship of Jesus is rather harmless and risk-free; following Jesus changes everything.

… I have often thought that this “non-preaching” of the Gospel was like a secret social contract between clergy and laity, as we shake hands across the sanctuary. We agree not to tell you anything that would make you uncomfortable, and you will keep coming to our services. It is a nice deal, because once the Gospel is preached, I doubt if the churches would be filled. Rather, we might be out on the streets living the message. The discernment and the call to a life of service, to a life that gives itself away instead of simply protecting and procuring for itself in the name of Jesus, is what church should be about. Right now, so much church is the clergy teaching the people how to be co-dependent with them. It becomes job security instead of true spiritual empowerment. Remember, anyone—male or female—who has not gone on journeys of powerlessness will invariably abuse power.

You can read the whole thing here.  Maybe you’ll love it too.  It may be more difficult for women to read, especially those that have been harmed by the abuse of power in our male-entrenched cultures, but the message is so powerful for all of us.

Jesus’ Invitation: Follow Me
By Richard Rohr   •  Tuesday, October 18, 2016

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Thinking the Worst of God

I had a great time in Knoxville over the weekend.  I met so many wonderful people with great stories.  I love the synergy of people being in the room on a similar journey and the insights it begins to open up around the room and long after.  One of those who was with us returned home to North Carolina and was listening to The Jesus Lens on Monday and came up with this observation. I love it. Why have we been taught to read Scripture as if God is the meanest presence in the universe, instead of the One who is Love Itself? This is Ed from Asheville:

I’m sitting here at my desk catching up on some work after everyone has left the office and listening to the Jesus Lens again.  There’s still so much in this series that I’m trying to absorb.  Its just such a different perspective from my past experience!

Anyhow,  I have a question (as usual).  In the first dialog session a comment is made about reading scripture and the fear of just choosing to read it the way that makes yourself feel good.  I thought about this a while and I have to wonder.

I understand the woman’s concern about just interpreting scripture in a way that makes us feel good and “creating God in our image” as you put it.  However, when I look at how the majority of believers (especially here in the south) look at God and scripture isn’t it really the other way around? Don’t we actually interpret scripture in the worst possible way instead?  There seems to be this idea in the evangelical arena that the most fearful and nightmarish interpretation of scripture is the “safe” one and therefore the “best” one.  It seems to me that our sinful religious tendencies pull us toward whatever interpretation of scripture will affirm us in our fear and shame and it also seems to me that that is contrary to everything Father is trying to walk us out of.    Isn’t using an ultra conservative interpretation of scripture to twist Father’s presentation of himself in the Son into a religious caricature at least as egregious an error as a liberal interpretation that makes God out to be “too nice”?

Maybe the reality is that Father’s grace is so generous and free and his nature so kind and gentle that both ideas offend our religious sensibilities and we run “back to Egypt” so to speak in our interpretation of scripture. From a fleshly perspective we seem to  prefer the terrifying law giver view of God because that gives us a perceived measure of control (do good get good, do bad get bad) whereas grace and mercy properly understood leave us in the wonderful but terrifying position of being completely out of control.  I think the danger of interpreting scripture in a way that makes us comfortable is certainly there but doesn’t it pale in comparison to the danger of interpreting scripture in a way that makes our being with Father uncomfortable?  

All I can say is Yes! Yes! Yes!

As Father wins us into his love and we see him as he really is, you’ll read all of Scripture differently, as if it came from a Father who loves you not a god who desires to condemn and destroy you.

If you haven’t watched or listened to The Jesus Lens, it’s a free resource from Lifestream if you want to stream it, or you can purchase the DVD here.  Here’s what others have said about this series:

THE JESUS LENS material is excellent. Fresh, relevant and anointed.
– David, retired teacher in Ashford, Ireland

I love everything about it, especially what it says about the Bible being a love letter. This has breathed new life into my Bible reading!
– Julie, mother of three in California

These sessions opened up a fresh way of looking at the Scriptures as God’s unfolding love story through the lens of His son, Jesus.
– Barry, retired military in Virginia

I feel like I’ve been handed a missing piece of my heart. (The Bible has often been just another source of shame. Now I can see how God is restoring it to its proper and useful place in my life.)
– Susan, former slave of shame

THE JESUS LENS is an incredible look at the Scriptures. Having read the Bible all of my life, this teaching has endeared me in a whole new way to the amazing story of my loving.
– Dawn, a member of the studio audience

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Why Won’t He Change Me Faster?

I get the frustrated email all the time. “Wayne, it doesn’t seem like anything is happening in me.” People who go on a journey to learn to live in the love of the Father get impatient when change doesn’t come as fast as they hope for. I understand. Many are used to intellectual change. I hear something. I believe it. And then I should be able to apply it to my life.

But transformation doesn’t work that way. We may know God loves us, but letting him win us into the reality of that love takes time. It may even seem as if nothing is happening and we begin to doubt either God’s love or the process. I’ve watched over many years as people write me frustrated that they don’t seem to be “getting it.”  In fact Brad and I recently did a podcast on what may be the scientific reason Why Transformation Takes Time. If you missed it, you might want to give it a listen.)

I try to tell people to relax in the Father’s affection and to relax in the process of how he changes us. I know it isn’t easy.  We want quick-fixes and be in control. But we can’t rush it. It isn’t ours to do. All we can do is just lean into him each day as much as we are able and set our affections on him. Yes, we’ll make mistakes. Certainly we’ll fee trapped by habit patterns and ways of thinking that don’t seem to change. But what we miss is what’s going on deep down in the core of our lives, beneath the level of us simply trying to act better.

That’s why I tell people to let it unfold the way God wants, even if it takes two or three years to see progress. I know that’s hard, but one day you’ll begin to see that things have been shifting in your life and now you are able to transit circumstances with more freedom that we’ve had before. That’s when you’ll know God is doing the work not you. Like Paul, you’ll end up with nothing to boast about except him and his work in you.

I got this email earlier this week from someone I’ve been in touch with over the past few frustrated years.  Look at what God has done:

I (am now experiencing) what I have been seeking for years.  I can only describe it as heavy warm feeling on my chest that leaves me feeling peaceful and I am left with an excited expectation for what is next to come in my life and that all is well.  I found out I have grown into Fathers reality a lot more than I ever dreamed because when the chips were down and I came to the end of me, grief lost its power, fear had no effect and I was left with a simple faith knowing he is in control. That’s the only way I know how to explain it.  I was growing up all along and didn’t even know it.

I love that. Changing by our own strength is much quicker, but it doesn’t last long and we soon slip back in our old patterns. Transformation works more deeply, helping us think differently from the inside, so that we live differently on the outside.  I hope this email encourages those of you for whom change seems to be moving too slowly. He is at work in you. You’ll see it one day and then you’ll overflow with thanksgiving.

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Jake and John Still Headed For the Movies

The Shack movie is being finalized for it’s March 3 release. A trailer should be out in the next week or so, hopefully sooner. There are lots of moving parts to get all this through the studio machinery.

On a less complicated note, this weekend the producer and screenwriter of the movie adaptation of So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore were in town. We recorded a video (pictured above, and now being edited) for use on a crowdfunding page we will be setting up over the next few weeks. What a joy it was to reconnect with both of them and their passion for this story. This story was never even supposed to be a book. It started out as a website, but people said they wouldn’t read it off a website, so we printed it up into a book and though it has been free since we wrote it, it has sold over 400,000 copies.  That was shock enough, I never dreamed it could be made into a movie.  It isn’t a dramatic story in a visual medium. It’s thirteen conversations between two men and that doesn’t make for a compelling movie. All the drama of the story goes on inside. So, we’ve adapted the story, added a lot more plot between the conversations and now it is a compelling and sometimes humorous story.

Jake is playing a game and doesn’t even know it. But when a crisis at work and a desperate need at home challenge his faith, it gives Jake a chance to reconsider everything and find his way out of the game into a vibrant connection with God that has interesting implications in his life.  Now with a screenplay completed that is generating some buzz in the industry, we are ready to see if we can find the funds to shoot the movie.Ninety percent of the stories that make it this far never get made into a movie, because finding the money is the hard part. We already have some solid interest on the investment front, so our producer is saying now there’s a 90% chance this movie will get made.

But we don’t want to do this on investment dollars alone. He also wants to have some dollars in the movie that are strictly from people who have a passion for the story and that can give us a seat at the table to help protect it’s message. So we’ve come up with the idea of seeing if there are people who love this story enough to help us raise part of the funds through Lifestream Ministries. Not only will that give you a tax-deductible receipt, but Lifestream a stake in the movie. If it generates a profit, our share of return will go to help fund our various projects in the world. For those who contribute we will also be offering an escalating array of gifts to connect them with the movie process. That will include free DVDs when the movie is completed, autographed copies of the book, and a free subscription to an insider mailing list as the film develops . People can even become co-executive producers and join me for a day on the set to see how it’s all done.  But mostly this will allow us to keep shaping the story to have maximum impact in the world.

That web page will be up in a few weeks, but I thought I’d give you a head’s up if you wanted some time to think and pray about joining our team. If you’re curious to know more, you can listen to a podcast I recorded with producer and screen writer while we were still hammering out the story a couple of years ago. You can find it here.

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How Much Did Paul Get It Wrong?

By Wayne Jacobsen in a continuing series on The Phenomenon of the Dones.

The sunshine was brilliant as we gathered in a field along the English coast with some of our friends from throughout Europe. I sat down next to Dave, a former South African now residing in Ireland. As we got reacquainted he asked with just a touch of mischief in his voice, “Do you know what I’ve been thinking about these days?”

Of course I did! I know Dave can be playful, but he is a serious follower of Jesus and a provocative thinker.

He leaned over and in a surreptitious whisper and said, “I’ve been wondering just how much Paul got it wrong.”

I just shook my head chuckling wondering where this would lead. It was a loaded question to be sure though our ensuing conversation helped clarify that he was less focused on what Paul got wrong as he was how we wrongly we interpret Paul. We read his letters as if he wrote them last week to the denominations and mega-churches of the 21st century. The early believers he was writing to, however, were not organized into efficient institutions with complicated political and economic structures. We mistakenly assume when Paul wrote about worship he was referring to the songs and prayers we use to start a service, teaching as a lecture to a room of passive listeners, or that elders were the business leaders who made financial decisions for the corporation or even pastor-preneurs carving out a niche in the religious landscape for themselves.

We forget that the early believers didn’t do anything that resembled the way most congregations meet today and when we co-opt the same terminology to justify our structures, we get Paul entirely wrong. For the most part the new believers comprised informal networks of those who gathered around specific households. While those in Corinth gathered on the first day of the week, we don’t know that every one else did. Paul even wrote to the Romans that some might consider a specific day special and others all the same and there was freedom in Christ for that.

But we are certain those believers didn’t sit in pews watching a production on stage, nor that they allowed a single person to dominate the life of the congregation. When that happened in Ephesus, John called out Diotrephes as evil (3 John 9-11) for lording it over the others. At the same time he affirms Demetrius for the quality of his life. Do we really imagine that these two were pitted against each other in board meeting for control of the congregation? They were not that centralized until later as human leaders wanted the same kind of control over the faithful that Diotrephes held.

No, I don’t think Paul got it wrong. I appreciate everything he wrote and the invitation he gave to live in a vibrant relationship with Jesus rather than get sucked into living by law, or in submitted compliance to so-called leaders who want people to follow them instead of following Christ. Many mistakenly think that Paul’s writings are our guide for right faith and practice, completely ignoring Jesus’ words that he would send us his Spirit and that he would guide us into all truth. Jesus never even mentioned that a collection of writings would one day come together to make following his Spirit obsolete. Even Paul would abhor much of how we apply his writings today. He wrote to encourage people to follow the Spirit rather than to craft a New Testament code of ethics or set up a hierarchy of leadership to guide us.

I believe the Bible is a God-inspired collection of writings to give us the truth about God and how he revealed himself in the world, but it is designed to equip us to live a life in the Spirit, not to replace him or his touch in our lives. You can tell when someone is interpreting Paul with the blinders of their religious institutions when they use his quotes to justify the religious systems they seek to employ. Their conclusions will reflect far more the management styles of the world than they do the vibrant community of the new creation. While Paul uses similar words as pastor and elder, what he means by them is markedly different than how we use them today. He was talking about older brothers and sisters with character who can discern between true and false living while encouraging younger believers to a more genuine faith, not about those with a seminary pedigree and the charisma to draw a crowd.

One of the glaring differences when you read Paul and look at how most people think of church today, it moved from being a “we” to being an “it.” It lost its vitality as a community of the redeemed sharing their joy and gifts, and became an institution that seeks control over Christ’s followers. I appeared on a radio discussion not long ago on the topic, “Is Church Attendance Mandatory?” I was asked to explain why so many people are leaving traditional Christian institutions and whether or not they could still be considered followers of Christ. The discussion was amiable enough but as my host signed off she used a well-known quote from Cyprian, the Bishop of Carthage in the middle of the third century. “He can no longer have God for his Father who has not the church for his mother.” Her conclusion was clear, you cannot be a follower of Christ if you’re outside a local, sanctioned institution. I would love to see how Paul would respond to that!

The quote is silly on the face of it. If we as God’s children comprise the church then how can we be our own mother? We are siblings with God as Father and Christ our Head. As far as I know Cyprian’s statement is one of the first that redefined the church from a “we” to an “it.” And this “it” is a mother demanding our obedience and conformity. In doing so the early bishops quite intentionally exalted themselves above the family and inserted themselves as mediators between Jesus and his followers. You follow him by following “it.”

Less than 250 years after Christ died and Paul wrote his letters, the freedom of the new creation had been fully crushed by the institution that calls itself “church.” And it is even more distressing that a Protestant in our day would appeal to such a quote, since Cyprian’s context was that of the Chair of Peter specifically. My host was already out of compliance to the mandatory allegiance to which she referred. The irony was perhaps lost to her since Protestants claim the same fidelity to their systems that the early bishops demanded of theirs.

Isn’t this when things went horribly wrong? People no longer were invited to follow Christ; they had their bishop to follow or rituals to observe, mostly based on someone’s interpretations of Paul’s writings. I’ve always wondered how one can know God as Father and end up so far afield? And why would they be so convinced of it that they would damn any who disagree with them? If you don’t attend our meetings, participate in our rituals, join our membership, or sign our covenant, you are excluded from Christ and his salvation.

And I do understand the concerns today. Many who claim to follow Jesus are only following their own self-interest and stumble off into error. It’s easy to think that the institutional control of “more mature” brothers and sisters would fix that problem. But it doesn’t; it only shifts the problem. It stagnates the spiritual growth of more sincere people by taking their eyes off of Jesus and when the size of any institution grows it easily seduces those who lead it to serve their own self interest, especially where income and ego are involved.

The only way to guarantee the future of a corporation is to make people dependent on it by making it mandatory for salvation. I remember the things I used to defend when my income directly benefited from my theology. It obscures our thinking more than we know. But to double-down on the mandatory card is to ignore the reality of the Incarnation, the nature of the new creation, and the identity of his church growing in the world. Jesus came to be with us, not just while he was in the flesh, but now by the power of the Spirit.

If whatever we call “church” is not as engaging as Jesus was on the planet, then maybe we’re not talking about his church. It certainly wasn’t what Paul was describing, nor the reality he wrote to. Whether we belong to Jesus or not is demonstrated not by our attendance at a weekly meeting, but by his character taking shape in us and how we love those around us.

Paul said this was a freedom worth fighting for. He warned about people “cutting in” on them with rules and obligations, of being robbed of their freedom, and told them not “Let anyone tell you what you should do…” He made no exceptions for bishops or pastors. He wanted people following Christ as he made himself known, not substituting any one or anything for that vibrancy of life in him.

The life of the church will never be found in accountability to people or systems, but in the love of Christ taking root in our lives. For that it needs a growing number of people who take following Christ seriously and themselves less so. It is worth risking the anger and judgment of those who seek to steal that freedom and learn how to recognize his work in you. You follow Jesus, by actually following Jesus not by living up to the expectations of those who set themselves up as leaders.

That is such a foreign concept to people, that when many leave a congregation they feel lost for a time. The most often question I get from them is, “Now, what should I do?” The worst indictment of the failure of our institutions is that people no longer have any idea how to follow Christ without rituals and guidelines from the outside. Instead of being equipped to follow Jesus they were lulled to spiritual passivity by a well-planned program. This more than anything accounts for the emptiness people feel and why they go look for something else. But even then they will naturally seek a strategy of activities to sustain them.

The response I give them is, “Follow him!” It’s the best counsel ever! Even if they don’t know how to yet, they are now going to get to learn. The most important questions become not what should I do, but how do I get to know him? What is he revealing in my life? How is his love shaping me to live more freely in the world? Who is he asking me to walk alongside now, both those who help me and those I can help?

Some people find connection in other established groups. If they do, I encourage them to go for the relationships not the program. Any structure is helpful only to the degree that it equips people to live in the Spirit and to share community. When it subverts either mission, ignore it. Others will find connection more informally with friends, neighbors and co-workers who share their journey of faith together in an ongoing conversation.

Our faith was meant to be an adventure of waking up in him each day and asking him to lead us. As he nudges your heart to connect with someone or do something in the world follow him. Don’t overly spiritualize it. If it feels right in your heart do it. See if it bears the fruit of his kingdom. If not, consider what else he might have before you. As you follow those nudges, love freely the people that cross your path, and follow up on any leads toward others who might be hungering for more of a family connection, it will eventually become clear how Father is knitting you into his family.

In that adventure, Paul’s writings become so much more powerful. You’ll begin to see that worship is not about singing songs, but living our lives in Father’s reality. As we let him live his life through us gratitude will rise in our hearts and in the lives of others we touch. We’ll discover that ninety percent of teaching happens in a conversation where someone asks a question or makes an observation that causes lights to go on inside and draws others closer to Jesus. Elders are seasoned saints whose life and character back up the theology they espouse and they freely offer their time to help others learn to live inside the life and freedom of Jesus.

So when you read Paul, check your biases. Is he referring to the church as a collection of hundreds of thousands of institutions who often have very little to do with each other, or is he talking about a family who are learning to love each other the way Jesus loves them? When he talks about the church of Jesus Christ as the bride being prepared for his Son, don’t be tempted to think that he’s referring to an institution with a cute contemporary name, with a mandatory meeting designed to keep people on the straight and narrow. Paul would have never seen it that way. Instead he would be seeing a vibrant community of men and women faithfully following Jesus as they connected locally sharing that journey with endearing friendships.

_________

This is part 16 in a series on The Phenomenon of the Dones by Wayne Jacobsen who is the author of Finding Church and host of a podcast at TheGodJourney.com.  You can read the first half here and subsequent parts below:

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Do You Know What I Appreciate About You?

Three years ago for my birthday my daughter gathered letters from people all over the world who wanted to tell me what my life and friendship meant to them. That book is one of my most treasured possessions. Reading it is like attending my own funeral, things that people often don’t appreciate about someone until they’re gone. It has often been a great encouragement to keep living the life God has given me, even when things get rough and I’m misunderstood or even falsely accused by others. Affirmation is a powerful gift to give someone.

I’ve told Sara that those leaders speak to both of us, but she waved me off. They’re for you, she said, not for her. So for her birthday this year I made her own book. I asked people that knew Sara well if they would contribute a letter for her book. People were so willing and excited to tell Sara what her life has meant to them. And I found out Sara was right. What they said about Sara was so different than what had been said about me and painted an incredible picture of this woman I’ve had the privilege of living with for the past 41 years. I’ve always known she’s a magnificent treasure even as I get to see more of that treasure every year. But I was reduced to tears numerous times as I edited through the letters and created her book, adding pictures all the way back to our college days. It’s my latest work, and it was written for an audience of one! It may be my best book because I had so much help. But you’ll have to visit to read it.

I want to thank all those who contributed to this book. We will both be forever grateful that you have honored her with your expressions of kindness and friendship. Your words have washed over my wife like a refreshing shower after a hot day. She opened it last Sunday and just thumbing through it choked her up.  Now she’s had more time to read the individual letters and she thanks me every day for doing this.

I know many of you haven’t gotten the chance to know Sara. While she travels some with me, she can’t possibly go all the places I go nor is she called to. Many of you have heard me talk about her in my writings and recordings and I’ve even done a few podcasts with her, but I know many of you haven’t had the opportunity to sit with her and get to know the person behind the name or the voice. Those who have amazed me with the things they wrote about her. Here are just a few of them:

“…your gracious sense of hospitality, the way you never seem to judge anything we do but support us no matter what…”

“So often you’ve gone out of your way to do things for others even when that meant sacrificing on your own part. Nobody I’ve ever met has wanted to do more for others than you.”

“You have shown me nothing but kindness and love since I walked through the door.”

“I still feel completely loved and welcomed when I’m with you.”

“You were the physical representation of what God was inviting me into—love and acceptance.”

“When you least expect it, here comes a tender word from Sara asking how we are doing, and letting us know that she is thinking of us and knows how hard some of our days must be.”

“Your honesty and openness in sharing your story just makes the Sara we know even sweeter. Each time we see you I am more and more impressed by the way Father is moving you into a deeper place of trusting Him.”

“You care about people more than yourself or things.”

“You really understood my heart, you understood just how much pain I had been in and you didn’t back away from sharing that moment with me.”

“You care so deeply for your garden and the love that you pour into the space is evident not only in the breathtaking flowers and landscaping, but also in the atmosphere there. Your appreciation for beauty and the way that you cultivate it is incredible. There isn’t an inch of that space that you do not know or has not benefitted from your skillful touch.”

Sara will be the first to tell you that she’s far from perfect, that life isn’t about getting everything right. Folks schooled in religion find it way easier to focus on their weaknesses rather than celebrate where God’s glory displays itself through them.

We just don’t affirm each other enough. Perhaps we’re too insecure or self-focused, but can you imagine the world we’d live in if every time we were with someone we found something gracious and genuine to say about the gift they are in the world and the gift they are to us individually? Word of affirmation and gratefulness encourage God’s work in us like nothing else and after editing this latest book, I want to make sure I put even more of that in my conversations with people.

Don’t wait for a funeral or even for someone to edit a book. You can salt it into any conversation with these simple words, “You know what I appreciate about you…”

Imagine the gift you’d give someone who doesn’t often see their life the way God does.

Do You Know What I Appreciate About You? Read More »