Russians and Ukrainians in Dark Days

I was in Russia in 2012 and in Ukraine in the summer of 2018. Since a few of my books have been translated into Russian, I have connections on both sides of the escalating tensions in that part of the world. Sadly, the greed and insecurities of our world leaders continue to force the everyday citizenry into wars they wouldn’t choose for themselves. That’s the price of human “kings,” according to Samuel, when Israel demanded one of their own. They will take your stuff, send your sons to war and take your daughters captive. It continues to happen in our sad, sad world.

This is the email sent me from someone who received it from a friend in Russia:

Thank you so much for Wayne Jacobsen’s book, He Loves Me. This book is one of my favorites. I was able to find one hard copy at one of the Christian online stores, read it myself, and was very inspired. I shared my copy of the paper book with another person. We are learning to live in the Love of the Father. We are earning to live sharing the organic nature of the Kingdom of God, but there’s still so much we are trying to learn. We want to have like-minded people, but so far it hasn’t worked out so well. It feels as if we are all alone against the great raging waves. But God is always with us!

And this was recently sent out from a family (pictured above) that I spent time with a few years ago in Ukraine as they face an uncertain future.

Our family has never been held hostage. But now it feels as if we have been captured by terrorists. Daily news of new meetings, talks, and attempts world leaders make to pull Ukraine out of the threat of imminent war, confirm that we are on the brink of an abyss. Even though Russia’s war against Ukraine has been going on for 8 years now. We know that many people do not want to hear about it. Some Christians argue that “this is all simply politics, and we must be above that and build the Kingdom of God.” So you can say until the war comes to your home. Then it becomes clear that behind our “spirituality” often hides indifference to other people’s grief and an uncontrollable desire to maintain comfort at any cost.

However, for our country, war is a bitter and painful reality. And for our family, this has been ou daily service for the last 8 years. Are we afraid? Of course. News dishearten. During a war, people are terrible, cruel, and ruthless. Will the war reach our homes? Will we hear explosions and see blood and death with our own eyes? Will we have the courage to go through this? Uncertainty scares…

Are we angry? Yes. Two World Wars passed throughout the territory of Ukraine. And for the third time, Putin’s Russia is ready to drown Ukraine in blood. We remember the days of the Soviet Union. Putin seeks to restore this terrible country, the times of Stalin and the KGB. Millions of people were persecuted, tortured, and went missing. Thousands of Christians were persecuted and gave their lives for Christ.

What encourages us?  Firstly, the Lord Himself! He is the only Guarantor of our salvation! We are grateful to all countries for any kind help, although we do not rely on the United States, NATO or Europe. We hear His voice through the Word, in our minds, from other Christians, which calms us and gives us hope. We cling to Him and trust Him as children.

Secondly, the prayers of millions of Christians around the world. You are an incredibly strong support for us. Thank you for your heartfelt words, your prayers and your tears. We feel as if we’re a part of God’s great army, which stands in prayer on the borders of Ukraine. We encourage others and help the families of fallen soldiers and the families of the military. Moreover, we are preparing to accept refugees into our home. Our relatives from Kharkiv and a pastor from Kyiv have already asked us to accept their wives and children when the hostilities begin. We ask the Lord to for wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit in this difficult time and about the salvation of hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians and Russians who are in fear.

I love the grace and courage they are finding in this situation amidst the heartbeat of their deep concern. It is easy to see this conflict in terms of geopolitical realities and forget the price paid by individuals and families in both of these countries. My personal connections give me a deeper investment in events that go on half a world away, and perhaps it can inspire your prayers for them as well during these difficult days.

Brothers and sisters of Ukraine and Russia, our hearts are with you and our prayers hold you before the One who will get the last word on everything, even the chaos of our broken world. Often it is with groanings too deep for words, but please know you are not alone.

“Jesus, may your kingdom come; your will be done, here on earth as it is in heaven. Lord Jesus come now to the people of Russia and Ukraine. Let your glory rise in your people there and shine out of them with your glory against the darkness. Hold their hearts close to yours in your love, and let your love flow through them to those terrified around them. Give them the courage to navigate whatever circumstances befall them with your insight and your wisdom, deliver them from evil, and renew them in your goodness. Amen.”

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A Word of Thanks from Kenya

Last month, we were asked to help once again in Kenya with their continued drought, which has worsened this year. In response to their request for $14,000, you gave over $17,000 to help them. They have just returned from distributing the food and supplies to the aged and nursing mothers, which the picture above depicts.

Here’s what they wrote me just a few minutes ago:

Dear brother Wayne,  receive wonderful greetings in the mighty name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

We would like to send our gratitude to the entire team over there for the great love and concern towards our families here. We have completed the distribution in every area we mentioned before.

It was a touching journey.

In northern parts,  we hired the motorcycle to distribute food to the homes of the aged who were unable to come and who had no road which the truck could pass. This food has opened a door for the Gospel of Jesus Christ to go forth and many people received Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. We went with a group of volunteers, to help with the work.

Actually, two years ago the climate changed, and it has affected their crops. Almost the entire community is starving due to the drought.  So it is our prayer that the donation of food can continue,  as we believe God will provide for us

Below is the message to the entire team over there who has stood with us:

Thank you for your quick response and for sacrificial support of stretching your hand towards the need of our brothers and sisters who are in hard times.

May the grace of God fill every area of your life. The Bible says that whoever gives to those who were in need lends God. Let God bless you and provide for you in any area of life. We know since the pandemic strike the world, many people all over the world have been affected in other ways. Climate change has also contributed much. You have touched thousands of lives and given hope to the voiceless. Sometimes we feel even shame to ask but because of the grace and love which God has put in your life. You have not counted how many times we have requested the support.

The gift you have given has changed and transformed many lives. This time the situation of drought has affected almost the entire country. In some areas people go 3 to 4 days without eating. I believe this season God will make a way for them to go through. Continue praying for us this season, and the families who didn’t get any of the first shipment. We could use an additional of 235 bags of maize and 40 bags of beans for an additonal $9500.  

Yours,

Michael and Thomas

If you would like to help, you can still contribute to help them get through to July.

As always, every dollar you send us gets to the people in Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can either donate with a credit card there or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

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Beloved Through the Year in Germany

I just received a copy of my new devotional, Live Loved Free Full, in its German translation—Geliebt durchs Jahr, which I think translates to Beloved Throughout the Year. This is the sixth book Glory-World Medien has published of mine, and you can see them all at the bottom of the page for this one.

This is a translation of the description of the book on their website:

Wayne Jacobsen’s book “Beloved!” (He Loves Me) quickly became a bestseller after it was published in 2008. As a result, many have understood and experienced for the first time what God’s love is, how deep it goes and how much it can transform our lives.

With “Beloved throughout the year” there is now practically a sequel in which the author has incorporated his experiences of the last few years; this time not as a non-fiction book, but as a collection of practical suggestions for a life as a lover.

These suggestions want to pull our heart into God’s reality every day and help us to see our world through his eyes, to absorb his impulses and to master our days with all their challenges out of his wisdom.

When Jesus spoke of giving us abundant life, He wasn’t primarily concerned with pain-free circumstances and material blessings. He spoke of an inner life so rich and genuine that it can carry us through life’s difficulties.

This book will help us to do that. A loved, free and fulfilled life is the result of a growing connection with God on a heart level. Let his love be your daily reality, learn to absorb his impulses and experience his peace permeating your life in every situation!

This is a daily devotional with an encouraging thought on how to lean into Father’s love instead of navigating life on your own. If you haven’t read the book yet, here’s the reading for today—February 16.

February 16 – You Are His Delight

I was reading Song of Songs a few weeks ago. I wondered if the bridegroom’s delight over his lover is like Jesus’s delight in his Church. I know how I feel when I’ve been gone from Sara for a few days—the ache in my heart just to be near her again and hold her in my arms. Could this be how God feels about me?

I’ve concluded that what it means to come to be his delight is that God feels for me similarly to what I feel for Sara. His, however, is a billion times greater than mine. He is God and, after all, he has more love in his heart than I can possibly fathom.

And if I really knew he delighted in me like that, wouldn’t it be so much easier to rest in his certain arms, even in the places where I’m most broken and helpless?

I am at my best when I am at rest in his love, and less so when I’m anxious about how he feels about me. If you only knew he looked at you with delight, how much would that change how you go through this day?

You’ve captured my heart, dear friend. You looked at me, and I fell in love.
One look my way and I was hopelessly in love!
Song of Solomon 4:8–15 (MSG)

When you think of living to please the Lord, does it sound more like an arduous chore or an outrageous invitation to live in his pleasure? For most of my life it has been the first, but I think I had that wrong. God lives in the fullness of his pleasure and wants us to join him there as we also discover the fullness of ours. If you want to explore some of my recent insights on this that is once again altering the trajectory of my life in Christ, you can listen to last week’s podcast, Living to Pleasure.

If you’re interested in copies of Live Loved Full Free, you can order the German translation here or the original English version here. A French version is in process as well. I’m so grateful for all the hard work others put in to make these books available beyond the English-speaking world.

As for other translations of my books and articles in other languages, you can find them here. I’ve been fortunate to have some of my things translated into Chinese, Dutch, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Russian, South Korean, Spanish, Swahili, and Tamil. And of course The Shack has been translated in nearly 50 languages around the world, but that one is easier to find.

 

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Recognizing the Seasons

First, a word about my last blog about the call of the Bride. I didn’t want to say much about it there; I just wanted it to hang out there to see how it resonated with others. I’ve appreciated hearing that so many others have sensed a similar call in their hearts.

That blog post was simply writing down what had happened in my heart in the middle of the night. I was awakened out of a sound sleep on Thursday night outside Nashville with this prayer coursing through my body—”The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.'” I repeated it over and over, and as I held that before Father, other Scriptures came to my mind, that seemed to fit that call in my heart. My heart has been captured by similar prayers in the five days since.

I honestly don’t know what it means. I don’t think it is just about the Second Coming of Jesus. If we want him to come eventually, we will want him to come now to make his glory known in the real circumstances of life—into our doubts and fears, sufferings and temptations, and hopes and dreams. It’s the constant draw of the heart to the groom, not because he doesn’t already live in our hearts. He does. It’s a call to let that love be closer and let his glory be more evident.

And, I think it is a bit of a dog whistle to the Bride around the world. Some have already sensed that drawing in their heart. Others are finding it put words to something they’ve been sensing but hadn’t fully surfaced yet. What would happen if the pulse of that call would rise from millions of hearts around the world and held it before God, “The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come'”? No, that won’t induce the Second Coming, but we may see his glory rise in the world around us.

But, here’s the real reason for this blog:

For the past eighteen months, many of you have received a thrice-weekly email called Breath of Fresh Air with a quote from one of my various publications or podcasts. I hear every week from people how those brief quotes have come at just the right moment to encourage people or give them insight into the situations they are facing. For others, they’ve been great reminders to tune their heart to Father’s love and life.

If you have enjoyed those, you have Traci Shyer of Pennsylvania to thank for them. She put all of those together as her way to share the life of Jesus in the world. She also did Instagram memes three days a week, such as the one above. A couple of weeks ago, she informed me that this season of her life is over. New work responsibilities and Father’s shifting call in her own heart are taking her on to other things.

So, thank you, Traci, for how much love and light you’ve shared in the world and how it has enriched so many others. I’ve told her how much I have loved the quotes she’s chosen and that artistic flare she has put to them. Even more, I appreciated her honesty with me when she knew it was time to lay it down. Everything in our hearts is for a season, and saying, “I’m done,” is every bit as important as her originally saying, “I will.” We really don’t have the freedom to say yes to something if we also don’t have the freedom to say “No, Thanks,” or know when our time doing it is done. Nothing in our lives is meant to go on past the vision God gives us for it.

We still have a backlog of her work, so this will continue a while longer. If, however, this is going to continue down the road, God will have someone else whom he would inspire to do something similar with their own creativity and passion. So, if you read this and think, “Hey!  I’d love to do that,” please let me know and we can talk about it.

If not, then we may recycle the quotes or simply let this lie and look for other ways Father might have to encourage. I honestly don’t feel this is something that has to continue indefinitely, so I’m not trying to recruit anyone. I’m just putting the invitation into the wind to see if anyone else feels a nudge. All it involves is picking out some short quotes from Lifestream or The God Journey and finding a decorative way to send them out via our mailing list or social media.

Seriously, no pressure; it’s just an offer.

If you want to learn more about how to recognize God’s work in the shifting seasons of our circumstances or in God opening new doors of opportunity, you might find In Season, Embracing Father’s Process for Fruitfulness, a helpful tool.

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The Call of the Bride

“Listen! My beloved!
Behold, he is coming,
Climbing on the mountains,
Leaping on the hills!”
Song of Songs 2:8 

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come!”
Revelation 22:17

Lift up your heads, O gates,
And be lifted up, O ancient doors,
That the King of glory may come in!
Psalm. 24:7 

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come!”
Revelation 22:17

Let the sea roar and all it contains,
The world and those who dwell in it.
Let the rivers clap their hands;
Let the mountains sing together for joy
Before the LORD;

For he is coming to judge the earth;
He will judge the world with righteousness,
And the peoples with equity. (Psalm 98:7-9)

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come!” (Rev. 22:17)

“And his winnowing fork is in His hand to thoroughly clear His threshing floor, and to gather the wheat into His barn; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.” (Luke 3:17)

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come!” (Rev. 22:17)

Jesus said, “Look, I am coming soon! ” (Revelation 22:12)

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come!” (Revelation 22:17)

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me. (Revelation 3:20)

And the Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.”

And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; and the one who wishes to take the water of life without cost. (Revelation. 22:17)  

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come!”
Revelation 22:17

He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming quickly.” 

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus. (Revelation 22:20)

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Relationships that Matter

This morning, I’m at the airport, ready to catch a flight to cold and rainy Nashville. I had to postpone this trip from January because of some COVID concerns, and it’s a good thing we did. That weekend they had a massive snowstorm that shut down the city. This time, it is hopefully just rain. I’ll be with some new people on this trip, a younger community of people exploring what life in Christ can be. I know little about them, but I’m excited to meet some new friends. In addition, I have some old friends there, too, who are finding time to hang out with me.

I leave with an overwhelmingly grateful heart. Yesterday, I asked Sara how we were doing on contributions for the new need in Kenya. They wanted to know if we could find $14,110 to help buy food for nursing moms, seniors, and others suffering in the ever-deepening drought in the north of Kenya. You responded with $17,300 in just a few days. I always find myself surprised and overjoyed at how quickly people respond and with more than I would think.

Over the past few years, your generosity has helped hundreds of thousands of people in that region find relief from hunger, and be exposed to the Gospel. Their thanksgiving for physical substance and spiritual nurture is so amazing to hear. Thank you for standing with them in this critical hour of need. If you still want to give to them, I’m sure more needs will come. These people in the tribal regions are in desperate straits. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I’ve also heard from my friends in Ukraine over my recent post about the tensions there and the heart they carry in these threatening times. You can read one response in the comments on that blog.

I wish all the people I know could know all the other people I know. You would all be so enriched!  I just don’t know how to pull that off. For me, those relationships are not only nearby but stretch all across the world. We just spent the weekend with some close friends visiting from Ohio who were with me on an Israel trip five years ago. That led to a few others from that trip getting together over the weekend for fellowship, some friendly bocce ball, and a football game or two. My friend Luis also stopped by to share some of Sunday with us. I love the nourishment of heart and spirit that great relationships offer.

I’ve often said it, relationships make us rich. I look back over my life and am so grateful for all the people Jesus has connected me to in the world. Some are on magnificent journeys of learning to live in the Fahter’s affection, while many others have yet to begin that journey. Each one is a rich treasure when they let you in on the reality of who they are, warts and all. None of us are perfect and relationships can go through awkward moments of pain and miscommunication. But if people can respond with honesty, love, tenderness, and generosity, there’s no brokenness that can’t be healed, no failure that can’t be mended.

I just got off the phone with someone today who is experiencing real hurt in his family. I could feel his pain, not for himself, but for those he loves who only know how to lie, gossip, manipulate, and get angry when their manipulations don’t work. Many people protect themselves from relationships because of hurts just like this. They figure it’s better to live isolated than risk the pain of judgment and rejection.

I disagree, of course. Yes, I’ve had relationships go wrong, too. Who hasn’t? Yes, they hurt, especially when people aren’t open to honest, compassionate dialogue to get past the inevitable bumps in the road. However, if you let those people win, you’ll rob yourself of the friendships God has for you. Lean into those relationships where you know you are loved, where people celebrate who you are even in your struggles, and see the value of tenderness and forgiveness. Lean away from relationships filled with anger, gossip, threats, and ultimatums. Don’t argue with them or even retaliate with anger. If they judge you without listening to your side of the story, they don’t truly care about you anyway. You don’t have to let destructive people have free access to your heart.

Paul told us to warn a divisive person two times, and after that, have nothing more to do with them. You can’t change people so damaged by trauma, jealousy, or their need to control others, until they are ready to take an honest look at themselves. But that doesn’t mean you have to hate them. You can love them from afar, pray for God’s grace to touch them whenever they cross your mind, and be ready should they ever open their hearts to genuine reconciliation.

It is dysfunctional to keep seeking the love of people who are manipulative and dishonest. Leave them to God to see what he might do to invite them to healing. Good relationships don’t require perfection, just a measure of grace that seeks peace instead of conflict. Give your heart to those who treat it well and learn to treat others the way you would want them to treat you. Healthy relationships aren’t rocket science. You know those relationships that nurture your soul, encouraging you to a wiser and lighter heart. And you know those that weigh you down with demands and distortions that shred your soul.

Lean into the former and out of the latter and you’ll find that relationships will make you rich, too.

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A Heavy Heart for my Friends in Ukraine

In September of 2018, I was invited to Ukraine and met many incredible, passionate believers there. When I see Ukraine in the news, I don’t think of a country over there somewhere; I think of those people I got to know during those few days.

I sat with them at meals, worshiped with them in the woods, walked in beautiful parks, and celebrated their homeland and their passion for Jesus. Their lives will change drastically in the next few days if Russia invades. They could be at war or captives to a Communist regime once again. It is easy for us to think of this conflict in terms of states and political gamesmanship among world leaders. But it affects people that I know and love.

When you hear about Ukraine these days, please don’t see them simply as a country. These are brothers and sisters with the same hopes, dreams, and aspirations that you and I have.

That’s why Jesus reminded us to love in the singular: “Love one another.”  That’s how God loves, not the whole of humanity but each one individual. He says he loves us all because he loves us each.

Love the Ukrainians today, even though you’ve never met them as individual people and families just like you treasure here. And, please, pray for them.

And see those suffering in Kenya the same way, not with guilt or shame that we have it so good, but with the intense love that the Creator has for his people and the suffering they endure in this fallen world.

 

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Drought Once Again Ravages Northern Kenya

For those of you new to Lifestream, we have been engaged with a group of people in Kenya since Wayne visited them in 2010 in Kitale. In addition to their own needs, they have been helping tribes in North Pokot through a prolonged drought that has destroyed their way of life. We sent nearly $2.5 million worth of relief and development there over the past 11 years with amazing results, not only for the Gospel but also to give hope and a future to hundreds of thousands of people. All that has come from the generous contributions of those whom Lifestream and The God Journey have touched. Your generosity has overwhelmed us on many occasions.

Unfortunately, they are in need once again.

I have just received word from our friends in Kenya that drought conditions have savagely returned to North Pokot and Turkana in Northern Kenya, leading to the death of cattle, crops, and even wildlife. It is devastating. This is the email I receive this week:

Dear Brother Wayne

Thank you for standing with us in prayers. Many crops especially in the Northern regions, were totally affected by the draught, almost three quarters of the counties, people are totally affected.  But the worst counties are Baringo, Marsabit, Turkana, and all North Pokot regions. The cattle are being swept by draught, camels, and goats and also part of Mount Elgon and our neighboring village called Bosinia slum is becoming worse.

You can not hold the tears when you see what is taking place, almost hundreds of thousands are in bad conditions and affected by hunger. Even we have received the call from North Pokot Kase village (where you drilled water). The situation is much worse. Even they have started eating bush roots, which are bitter. We have heard they have sent some people coming on foot to Kitale to see how we can help the elderly, breastfeeding moms, and the children. They are on the way to seek our help.

If God provides we can give them 300 bags of maize and 50 bags of beans,  this we really rescue them for three months, including other areas like Bosinia and Mount Elgon too

Yours,

Brother Michael and Thomas

A recent PBS news report on the current crisis summarizes it this way: “The worst drought in decades is gripping eastern Africa — parching landscapes, killing livestock and creating a humanitarian crisis. Driven by climate change, it’s also leading to civil strife, as shepherding communities battle each other for scarce resources.”

In further conversations with my contacts in Kenya, they have asked if we could provide $14,000 to help those starving. If they can get more, they will also help in Turkana, where God has recently opened door to help others as they spread the Gospel. Sara and I will be giving personally to this, and I want to invite you to join us if you can.

As always, every dollar you send us gets to the people in Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can either donate with a credit card there or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

 

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“You Won’t Find Me Here”

I love how God works to invite us into his reality, even over the course of years of frustration and pain. I get emails like this because something I wrote or said plays into it, but I am more excited about how Father finds us and draws us into his life, even if it takes years.

I’m 57 years old writing from Australia. Two years ago my wife bumped into an old friend with whom I had shared many hours of conversation about our disillusionment and eventual exit out of the institutional church. Many years had gone by since last seeing this friend and she invited him over. We talked at length and he left me a copy of your book So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. I had long stopped reading any Christian material for reasons which will become clearer later, My faith was intact, but events of the past had left me disillusioned, suspicious, and very cynical. I also observed that it was a fictional story and I felt indifferent about it at best.

Soon after, on a Sunday night in August 2019, I went to bed and started to read. I was intrigued, the conversations were not what I was expecting. I was being drawn in as familiar insights and conclusions I had come to myself out of deep frustration years ago were being plainly identified and openly discussed. We had been involved in some Pentecostal churches including a split, starting a new one with fellow survivors and I had also started theological college training. Life was meant to come together here with a sense of purpose and meaning, In reality, it led to total disappointment, Something in all of this felt wrong, God was missing! The contrived efforts to hide or ignore this were hard to watch. It felt hollow and empty, and I grew increasingly disillusioned with all of it.

I dreaded Sundays and it took me days to recover. I questioned how do people keep doing this and not ask “is this it?” And here I am training to be a part of this! I had been craving a deeper relationship with God, but by the mid-nineties, I was so depressed and mentally drained I left my theological degree 2/3rd’s through. Further adding to the confusion was this thought about my church, so loud and persistent it was almost audible. It was simply “you won’t find me here”. I found this both puzzling and disturbing as I had neither the confidence nor the courage to understand this because I thought it had to be wrong. If this was God then I can’t do it anymore, I had to move on for the sake of my family and sanity. Feeling an outcast and shattered that this was where the journey ended, I shoved my faith in the basement of my mind and walked away, I was done

Fast Forward to 2019, and a family crisis that involved false accusations against me just as I began to read your book. In a matter of seconds, I had gone from looking at spiritual issues I had tucked away for years, to a sudden explosion of conflict, and the realization that my life might be over. Everything unraveled; I went into shock physically shaking, my mind dissolved into chaos. I felt utter despair.

Then, other thoughts came. You know what’s going on here. Look at what you were reading. This is no coincidence; it’s a counter move, an attack. It felt evil, but I so did not want to go there, no way! Next, I became suddenly aware of this intense feeling of the presence of God physically around me. I knew it was him, I recognized it immediately, it was unmistakable and that seriously pissed me off too! like it just added to the torment.

The next day the accusation was withdrawn, but my mind had exploded and I was numb. I hated the idea of making this a spiritual issue, all that familiar cringe-worthy religious terminology made me want to reach for a bucket, I had been there 25 years ago and that road led to pain and disappointment. God’s Spirit though was undeniably and tangibly on me now. Why? And what’s so important about that book?

I returned to the book and read on. What unfolded through the pages had taken so many things I had known and suspected to be true, and it all clicked perfectly into place. I just kept repeating over and over “I knew this!” God had been telling me all those years ago as I recalled the words “you won’t find me here”.

Your book opened and validated something birthed in my spirit 25 years ago that God had begun, but my mind had no self-belief or confidence that I could possibly be hearing God correctly. Institutionally and culturally conditioned from my earliest years the frustration and disappointment of not finding intimacy with God were inevitable. They won’t give intimacy because they can’t! It was such a relief to know I had heard right! Unfortunately, it took me 25 years to find out.

So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore opened up the possibility that God can be known outside of the narrow religious framework I had known since a child. I realized I had always found it hard to trust God, particularly as “Father”. Due to my disfigured image of him, I really didn’t believe he could love me. The doorway into living loved and actually relaxing in the Father’s affection where trust is built on the truth of his character healed a deep emptiness I’d always carried. Realizing God is love, that it flows from him and is not contingent upon my or anyone’s approval lifted a huge weight off me.

Then it got even better. because it’s his love that drives transformation not the straight jacket of religious conformity. I found by resting in His presence I knew He was no longer a distant abstract concept – this was a game-changer.

That presence of the Spirit I felt that night has never left. It’s still tangibly here now as I write. While the last 2 1/2 years have been amazing, they have also been painfully challenging since I needed lots of healing. I spend a lot of time just sitting in His presence soaking Him up, sometimes saying very little, words often get in the way. I had always been an analytical thinker, but this was different. It was like the background landscape of my mind was being redrawn and colored in differently, making some old familiar thoughts look stupid. It’s generated a whole new stream of dialogue as the truth of love, trust, acceptance and no separation took hold. This felt relational, someone who was there even in the pain, not an abstract concept or distant angry deity.

I wanted to tell you that I’m so appreciative of what God does through you Wayne, it’s like you help people find the connection point that eludes them, then step back out of the way and let God do His thing. The significance of this cannot be underestimated, the airwaves, the internet, are awash with all kinds of truth peddlers, many using similar relational language, but much of it appears to be a cosmetic makeover of a well-run system underneath. I know attending a gathering is not the issue, but many people have been blinded by the veil of religion oblivious to the God who is right in front of them. It takes a lot of honest courage to break the persuasive bonds of religion, particularly when it’s subtle and appears logically true with historical tradition and numbers on their side.

Even 25 years ago I wondered how many believers on life support would survive if the machine were turned off. It is why your books, Lifestream and The God Journey continue to be such an important resource. Finding the beginning of the trail and starting down the path often lacks any outside assurance or validation, with so few cheerleaders. Thanks again Wayne, I read He Loves Me, Finding Church, and Beyond Sundays, All incredibly helpful, but also critical in reaching those like myself who just needed to find the connection or even the permission to believe the voice of dissatisfaction, just maybe the Father drawing them to himself.

The God Journey podcast, past, and present, has been such an encouragement, I have loved the conversations you’ve had with Kyle over the last year, particularly the subterranean move that’s going around the world giving an increasing sense that God is up to something quite different and possibly unprecedented. This is not just thanks from us but also an encouragement that what you do continues to make a significant real difference around the world.

Two and a half years down the trail the connection is real and just keeps growing regardless of circumstances.

I thought his story might encourage many of you, too.  Yes, there is lots of pain behind his story—years of frustration and disillusionment.

Of course, I don’t think my book did all of that. In stories like this, I’m convinced that something I wrote or said only serves to tap a deep well that has already been bubbling up unseen for some, and it isn’t going to be denied. Any number of other books or conversations could have been the catalyst for Father to satisfy that hunger. It’s significant, too, that the offer of a book also coincided with a crisis, which opened the door to some fresh thinking.  That is often true for many people. Sometimes we get stuck in comfortable, though fruitless, patterns, and only when life deals us a severe blow are we disoriented enough to look over where Jesus has been all along.

Then, the glory comes. In the midst of pain and crisis—Presence! If this man’s life is like mine, I doubt that’s the first time Father has made himself known. It’s just that our heart and head weren’t in a space to be able to recognize him and respond, especially if we’ve been shackled by the lies of religious performance.  But now, a different journey unfolds where we can walk with him through the things that concern us and find what we’ve always been seeking.

I hate that it took twenty-five years for this man, but it may be a reminder to us to not give up on our hunger because we’ve been disappointed in the short run. Can you hold your hunger to know him long enough for him to do the work to fulfill it?  For most of us, it won’t take twenty-five years, especially if we stay on the hunt—always watching to see where Father’s fingerprints are making his presence known. But even when it takes that long, the fruit of it is no less sweet as you can read above. We may think that’s a lot of wasted time, but I suspect that Father was working all along to prepare a heart ready to know him.

Even in a paralyzing crisis, he could recognize the challenge of darkness to distract him yet again from the work of Jesus. But this time, it didn’t succeed. He saw the threat alongside a new door that was opening and chose the door instead. I love that!

God wants us all to find him in his fullness. If what you’re doing isn’t working, consider that you may not be looking yet where he actually is.  Keep your heart open.  He’ll win this in you, too!

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Living on the Edges

Sean Kennedy, an author, and friend from the UK, wrote me about my most recent podcast with Mary, a new believer finding her legs on a relational journey against the religious voices that want to draw her into the captivity of guilt and obligation. He wrote about living on the edges in a way I hadn’t heard before, and it made a lot of sense to me. With his permission, let me share it with you:

A couple of things Mary said reminded me that the only place we can truly walk in freedom is on the edge. Jesus was hugely relational and yet at the same time an edge person. He was always working relationally, but he did so outside the institutions or at least on the edge of them. He taught in the synagogue occasionally and ate with the teachers of the law. But mostly he taught outside the synagogue in the homes and villages and fields where the ordinary people lived and worked. He was critical of power, yet when invited he met and ate and talked with the powerful. He also hung out on the edge with the sick, the foreigner, the sinner and those society disapproved of. His position on the edge helped him see things as they really were. Wayne and Kyle you have become edge guys. You’ve done your time on the inside of the institution, to see that it is usually an unhealthy dysfunctional place to be.  What I think is incredible is that Mary is managing so early to stay on the edge and not get sucked in.

When we are sucked into the center of an institution there we are in many ways at our most blind. Only when we live and work on the edge can we see more clearly. By all means go to a congregation if Jesus leads you, but stay on the edge with one foot inside it and one on the outside. On the inside we risk getting infected by groupthink and all sorts of religious oughts, shoulds and musts and becoming slaves of the institution. Only on the edge can we have a wider perspective.

We can see more clearly what is going on both the inside (good and bad) and on the outside. Only on the edge can we also see God’s invitations coming from surprising and interesting new directions. Amazingly I think Mary is somehow realizing this and resisting the temptations of being an insider. It is so tempting when we are invited in to become a member of the institution – and especially when we have a particular talent the institution recognizes in us. It’s not necessarily wrong, and may be an important part of our journey so long as we realize it is only for a season. It can become dangerous when we settle down and make the institution our home. And when we do spend a season on the inside it is especially important we make friends both with those on the edge of it and those on the outside of it so they can help us see what is wrong about the inside. Only then can we become a positive force for change whether it be on the inside or outside.)

I love his thoughts here. The people I see thriving in their relationship with God in these tumultuous times are those who aren’t committed to a specific kind of groupthink but are learning to follow the voice of the Shepherd. No one or no group has it all right. That’s as true of spiritual truth as it is cultural engagement. If you can’t see the strengths and weaknesses of whatever group you consider yourself a part of, you probably don’t spend enough time with people who think differently. That’s also true if you never see validity in the concerns of those outside your group. None of us knows all we need to know; thus, seeing others who disagree with us as evil will only lead us astray. That’s how the world seeks to manipulate us, even that worldly spirit among followers of Christ.

The truth is we’re all a bit flawed, and Jesus is still taking shape in us. Humility will go a long way to help us discern truth from lies. If you are not seeing Jesus point out the illusions in your journey from time to time, it might be because you’re not listening. You seek comfort in people telling you what you want to hear, not what you need to know. Only by hearing the voice of our Shepherd can we know what’s real and what isn’t.

The people living most redemptively in the world live on the edges, as Sean described. Isn’t that why Jesus challenged his disciples to be in the world and not of it? One thing that will help you do that is to live on the edges of groups with whom you identify. Don’t get in the center where it’s easy to be blinded; keep others outside of it in your eye line. When you have compassion for them, too, you are in a better position to discern what is true. God’s way may not be the one that I think serves me best. We are citizens of a kingdom that transcends politics, ethnicity, theology, and personal preference.

This reminds me of a story about Joshua on his way to Jericho in Joshua 5. He came upon a mighty man with a drawn sword standing in his path. Startled, Joshua challenges him most likely with all the hubris of a man on a mission for God, “Are you for us or our enemies?” 

“Neither,” the man replied, “but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.”  

It’s a silly question to ask God or his hosts if they are on our side in whatever battle we’ve engaged. It’s far more important for us to be on his. Even if we think our struggle is as clear-cut as the battle Joshua was about to engage in, we dare not think our side is always right, or we’ll end up mired in human thinking.

Jesus told his followers to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves. That warning has never been more timely. There’s no way we can do that without an attentive ear to our Shepherd and a more expansive view of the world than what any media can feed us.

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