A Miracle of the Father’s Provision

At the end of last week, I got a painful email from our friends in Kenya, reporting on the progress of the 300 children who had been abandoned by parents and other relatives on the doorstep of a school they operate in Forkland to help children who would not get an education otherwise.

This is the same school we helped a couple of years ago to drill a new well when their cistern was contaminated, hitting a deep aquifer that provides a bottled water enterprise that has helped them continue to operate. Six months ago, the government required them to buy more land because they had too many children in the school for the size of their facility, and there was available acreage nearby. Due to your generosity, we were able to provide for that purchase.

Last week, officials from Kenya’s health ministry visited after hearing about the kids camped there. There was great concern about so many children sleeping in classrooms. The officer’s advice to their management was, “If God can open a door, you have the land to put up dorms that can divide the children by age.” They are so congested in the school classrooms that there’s a great danger of disease.

Michael, our contact there, wrote, “I believe God may use the Forkland Village orphans to help our government see what is happening to our children.” While they were so thankful for those who supported this community to help run clean water free of charge to help thousands across the community, they also told us that while Forkland had been the leading community for rates of diseases in that region, since they put in the new well, no disease had been reported.”

So, they began to develop a plan for their extra land to include dormitories and a dining hall.

This is what they asked of us:

  1. Drilling a new well in Bungoma
  2. Monthly food budge
  3. Yearly school support for primary kids
  4. Four Dormitories
  5. Dining hall
  6. Kitchen and food store

Total approximately budget: $130,255

I’ll be honest, upon hearing the need, I was overwhelmed. I was already in the middle of a shocking tragedy at home when I returned from my recent trip to the Carolinas. I have decided to take a few weeks away from my regular schedule and responsibilities to give attention to some critical concerns at home. I told God I just couldn’t take this on, not now. “Would you provide for them with as little help as possible for me?”

But these are orphans, right? Abandoned in the world and in desperate need, how could we not be involved? I asked God again to provide a way without me. Two days later, Sara mentioned a friend of ours who has been incredibly helpful in Kenya before. So, I wrote him and shared this new need to see if he could perhaps pick up half the cost.

I heard back the next morning. Not knowing anything of my personal struggle, he and his wife said they wanted to cover the cost of the entire project. They transferred funds that day into our account and we quickly sent them to Kenya.

I called him up and told him how loved I felt by God in the midst of all that was swirling around me. So, this is not an appeal for funds; it’s a celebration of the Lord’s provision for these young children. I’m sure there will be further needs ahead, and I’m grateful for those of you who continue to give, large gifts and small, to help people who are starving on the far side of the world. And people have helped us from all over—Europe, Africa, Australia, joining those in North America.

So grateful. So, so grateful.

Of course, the need won’t end there. So, if any of you want to help with the continuing needs in Kenya, we are still collecting money to send their way. As always, every dollar you send us gets to the people in Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer feesPlease see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can also Venmo contributions to @LifestreamMinistries or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

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Kenya, and the Beauty of Silence

I almost want to apologize for the picture at the top of this blog. I know these pictures are used gratuitously to make people feel guilty and give to overseas mission outreaches. I’ve never done that, and that’s not why I use it here. This is one of the orphans we are helping at the Forkland School, one of 300 abandoned there by parents who could no longer care for them due to alcoholism and the deepening drought. It’s a heart-breaker for sure, and I wanted you to hold in your heart a bit of that pain with me. Whether you are able to express generosity here through some excess finances or prayer, both are needed.

We were able to send some money along to help them at this time, though they will need more. The need is ongoing, and they are requesting another well in Bungoma that will help that community get through this drought. but there is joy and gratefulness because of those who were able to help them. You can watch this video of Michael celebrating with the children. (43 seconds)

And I thought I’d leave you with this quote I had in my inbox the other day that I find significant.

The tongue is our most powerful weapon of manipulation. A frantic stream of words flows from us because we are in a constant process of adjusting our public image. We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding. If I have done some wrong thing (or even some right thing that I think you may misunderstand) and discover that you know about it, I will be very tempted to help you understand my action.

Silence is one of the deepest disciplines of the spirit simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification. One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let God be our justifier. We don’t need to straighten others out.

Source: Richard J. Foster, Seeking the Kingdom

We waste so much time making sure someone doesn’t say anything bad about us. It wastes so much time trying to correct the manipulation and lies of others. These are far better left in Jesus’ hands and we get on with just living as authentic a life as we can and don’t worry about those who seek to be destructive. As Dallas Willard said toward the end of his life, “I am learning the discipline of not always having to have the last word.” It’s a great freedom. Let Jesus have the last word and invite him to shape this in your heart; he’s the only one who can.

Finally, if you want to help the children in Kenya, we are still collecting money to send their way. As always, every dollar you send us gets to the people in Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can also Venmo contributions to @LifestreamMinistries or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

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Generosity as Justice

I’m on my way to Charlotte this morning for time with God’s people in the area—some have been dear friends for years, and others I’ll be meeting for the first time. I’m so looking forward to this trip. I was going to post a blog about our day-long conversation this coming Saturday about learning to ride the wind of the Spirit as Jesus talked to Nicodemus about in John 3. LINK

I love this new framework that is helping people see more clearly how God deals with them in their own hearts and minds. I love talking about it and am enjoying the process of putting it into a new book I’m writing. Kyle and I will also start covering that framework in a series of occasional podcasts at The God Journey; the first one will air on April 8.

Instead of talking about that, however, I want to share a painful email I read on the way to the airport this morning. It’s another need in Kenya—300 children abandoned or have fled on their own to the Forkland School because their parents can no longer feed them. I’ll let Michael tell you about it below.

But before I do, I found the timing of this interesting. Just yesterday, I was praying with a group of people, and God led us to pray about injustice in the world. We saw it not only in the obvious ways of judicial corruption, the preference our world gives to the wealthy, or the Russian invasion of Ukraine but also in how lack of resources around the world promotes injustice as well. The following letter is a case in point.

Life isn’t fair; suffering often comes to those who are least able to deal with it. The only way I know to compensate for this kind of injustice is through the generosity of those who have more toward those in the world who have less. That’s why I’ve enjoyed what God has asked us to in a small corner of the world. We have been in touch with a group of Kenyans there for more than a decade who have the same heart for my Father that I do, living in a land of great need. Over and over again, many of you have joined us in rescuing orphans or building an economy among tribes whose nomadic way of life was destroyed by a prolonged drought.

Three hundred abandoned children have shown up at the Forkland School. We helped rescue them from contamination in their drinking water and recently purchased land to come into conformity with new laws. Now, they have been overrun with children they can’t care for—

Wayne and Sara, I know you are out taking the message of Christ, and  encouraging the brothers and sisters with the good news. We seek your prayers to see if God can open a group of people who would be willing to help us. We our level best to make sure that we help where necessary but we are overwhelmed and cannot hold our tears tack. Two years of climate change and drought is sweeping through our community. Sometimes we think that northern parts only is where people are startving but now this challenge is affecting our region where 75% of people depend on farming.

I cannot have full food in my plate while my neighbor or an orphan staying next to me who has gone three days without eating. Those who are starvng come and sit at my door with shame at having brought their children because they are dying. This is happening at my home in Bungoma. My wife and I have no way to escape this. Some wells have dried up and might might bring diseases such as typhoid and cholera. The children walk over four kilometers to get water for washing utensils and for bathing in jerrican as you see in the attached picture. So it is our prayer that if God will open the door and have somebody help us to drill and get a hand pump for water.

I want to thank God so much for the Lifestream team for what you did in Forkland for helping this community with water from the Forkland project. You have done much for the Kenyan family and innocent children by investing your life and resources for the people you do not know.  We cannot forget what you did here and that legacy will never be removed in the heart of people and also it will be a reminder in the eyes of God forever. Many lives has been rescued from deaths and calamities. Thousand of people there have been transformed both spiritual, socially and physically all over the northern parts. We are not doing this for our own glory, benefits or pleasure, but we are doing this with the fearless mind of God.  We are like  a drop of ink in the ocean but we are just doing this by the grace of God because we know that in this life we are the stranger we need to put our treasure where moth and rust can not destroy.

When we share this long story we don’t glorify you or anybody else but we just acknowledge for what the Lord has done through all of us to accomplish his will. Jesus knew that it is not by our ability but by the grace which He will give us to help us in the time of need. So, by the grace of God we can love, not by our ability but his. All of your messages have really encouraged us to depend totally on him.

Over 300 children have run from the community; they came groups after groups. Some slept two days without eating; all of these children are between 7 and 16. Many have alcoholic parenst and had dropped out of school because of  fees. Some do forced labor making alcohol in order to be given food, and some girls endured sexual abuse with big men who defiled them, infecting them with HIV and AIDs.

Thomas has acted alongside with community health workers and volunteers to help them with medication and counseling. The big numbers are orphans because there parents died because of HIV and were rejected by there relatives. Many of these children they have only clothes. They don’t have shoes, blanket, mattress or other basic needs. The community elders have said that those children need to remain here for some time, as the church find the solution for them.

We have an urgent need for food, clothing, mattresses, shoes, and medication for 301 children (201 boys and 100 girls) The total need right now is $9,580.

It seems the needs in Kenya are unending, but it hurts my heart to think of 300 children living in fear, alone, without parental support, and starving. If you want to help them, we are collecting some money to send their way. As always, every dollar you send us gets to the people in Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can also Venmo contributions to @LifestreamMinistries or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Thank you for helping us help them.

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A Difficult But Joyful Task

Sara and I are taking this week off for a trip to Colorado, including some time with our son. And, as soon as I get back, I’ll be headed into the Carolinas for a couple of weeks. On Saturday, April 2, I’m going to host a day-long conversation at a farm near Lake Wylie, SC for those who want to explore what it means to ride the wind of the Spirit above the most distressing circumstances in our life. You can get more details about that and my other stops here. Also, watch for upcoming trips to Austin, TX, into the upper midwest, and possibly into New England.

Before I go, however, let me leave you with this…

Bob Prater, Arnita Taylor, and I, coauthors of A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation, just completed another six-week workshop for a college trying to take a reasoned and compassionate approach to racism on campus. We help them explore the issues affecting their campus and what they can do to help remedy the legitimate concerns. I wish you could have heard the stories of a Palestinian mom who was delighted when her daughter had the white skin color of her American father, so she wouldn’t have to face the same judgments and insensitive comments she has faced. One young woman told of how her parents made her brother lay down on the car’s floorboard in certain situations because he took after the native American side of the family, while she didn’t have to because she looked white. Regretfully, skin tone influences how people are perceived.

I know some of you have not appreciated some of my postings on the racial divide. I hear from a few of you. Some have called me a Marxist (I’m clearly not), others a leftist (nope, not that either), or that I think most police are corrupt (again, not true) simply because I express a concern for the racial inequities that still exist in our culture. Two years ago, our society was primed to have a healing conversation about race after George Floyd’s murder. Unfortunately, our political realities made a constructive dialogue impossible for the broader culture. People only hardened into their previously held perspectives. Admittedly, it is a difficult discussion to have since extremist groups have so polarized it on both sides. I feel bad for those who only see this issue in terms of political power and not compassion for fellow humans whose skin tone adversely affects their ability to live freely and gain equal opportunity in our culture.

It doesn’t look like there’s a political answer here that will fly these days, but that doesn’t mean we as individuals can’t open our hearts a bit wider, engage in one-on-one conversations that can move the needle, and encourage conversations of healing among the people we influence.

Words like equity, fragility, and privilege can trigger strong reactions. But my heart is encouraged by those who look like me who are taking a longer look and discovering there is something to be explored beyond the agendas of those on the extremes. For those of us in the dominant culture, we can listen to those with darker skin tones and understand how that is treated in our broader culture. We can steward the advantages we have to ensure that others have the same opportunities that we have. I am far more excited about those of you who are engaging in this conversation than I am discouraged by those who resist it.

I want to share two emails with you I received about our book and the discussions around it. One is from a medical doctor and what he is learning:

I am very grateful for you and how you have influenced my spiritual journey. The God Journey podcasts, your books, and getting to experience Israel with you and a wonderful group of new friends. All of these have touched me in profound ways. The book on polarization you wrote with Arnita and Bob- ‘A Language of Healing..,” really challenged my thinking. Last year after George Floyd was killed, I decided to take a few minutes with my black patients during the end of their appointment and ask them how they were doing in light of what had happened. It was difficult to do given the schedule and how I can easily get behind. But it was worth it. I probably listened to about 25 or so patients and it was remarkable that nearly all of them had personal stories about their negative experiences with law enforcement or one of their family members. My goal was to listen and learn. I don’t think I would have even thought of doing this had it not been for reading your book. So thank you for being a part of this project.

If we can just begin to listen and care for those adversely impacted by the inequities in our culture, some incredible things can happen.

The other is an exchange I had with a woman in Wisconsin after hearing the last Zoom session I did with Bob Prater and Arnita Taylor a year or so ago. Arnita mentioned one of the questions she likes to ask people who want to discuss race with her is, “How are you stewarding your privilege?” Their response to the question gives her insight into the potential direction and value of an ongoing conversation.

Could help me to understand what it means to steward my white privilege?  I am looking at identifying the many ways I have white privilege which in itself eye opening. I am having difficulty understanding how I would steward those privileges. I feel as if I am getting into the weeds with this. Could you help me to understand?

Here is my response:  

“What a great question! Learning to steward our privilege is a learning experience. First, we’ve got to recognize we have one. Then, instead of feeling guilty, we steward it by helping marginalized groups have the same privilege we enjoy. How we do that depends on who we are and what influence we have. It may be as simple as an encouraging word or a cup of cold water or venturing the difficult communication with someone who is being racially dismissive.

“What it means for each of us has to be discovered, not explained. Ask Father about it. Ask him to show you as your life unfolds during the day. Build some relationships with marginalized people and ask them for ideas that they think would be helpful coming from you.

I love that you’re exploring this. You’ll learn lots.”

She responded:

I can do that. Ask him to show me and watch for things to unfold. I also really love what you said here, “Build some relationships with marginalized people and ask them for ideas that they think would be helpful coming from you.” Especially the part of asking someone for ideas that they think would be helpful coming from me. That really fits, because I don’t know. If I pretend to know I’ll really be in the weeds slopping around.  Asking someone for ideas that they think would be helpful speaks of adventure and discovery.

I wrote a long list of my white privilege. Some of them blew my mind. The more I wrote the more I uncovered. Sure, I’m not done with that list, but it’s a start. I’ve got to say I did cry through part of the process. Not sure if it’s guilt or sorrow. Whatever it is I’m going to trust it. I can feel him in this with me, so I’m going to trust the tears.

I love that she thought through how her whiter skin has opened doors for her that others might not have the same access because of their skin tone. Proximity, courage, compassion, and integrity on the part of people like us are so vital if we’re going to make a dent in the racial angst of our culture since our political leaders are too polarizing to do anything about it themselves.

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The Best Conversation I’ve Ever Had…

I couldn’t fit it all in the title, but this is the best recorded conversation about my spiritual journey that I’ve ever had. I’ve been waiting to share it with you since we recorded it in late November. It just dropped this past Friday, and I’m so excited that others can now hear it.

Tim and Steve, both from South Africa (though one is now living in the Netherlands), asked if they could record a podcast with me about my spiritual journey for their podcast, The Urban Mystic. When I appear on podcasts other than my own, I let my hosts control where the conversation will go. What made this conversation so fascinating were the questions they kept asking that continued to drill down on how my relationship with God had developed over the trajectory of my life. They get into heart issues and how I recognized God opening new doors into his reality. They also wanted to parse out the lessons that would be most helpful to the listener in identifying how God is building a relationship with them.

When we finished recording, I sat back in my desk chair, a bit overwhelmed by what we had talked about and so excited that it was recorded. This is the message I most want to leave in the world. I have no idea why it took them so long to post it, and I was so grateful to see it appear last week.

Here’s how they described it on their podcast:

Here is another bonus episode for you of quality conversation with a wise and humble guest, Wayne Jacobsen. Wayne generously gave us an hour and a half of his time to explore his experience, his thinking and current work and life. Wayne leads us to “new spiritual trailheads” as he works with “hungry people” – hungry people who are interested and yearning for engagement with God. It is a conversation which covers more than 40 years of life history; so a rich and insightful tapestry.

It actually covers more than 60 years, and you can listen to it on Podbean or Apple Podcasts.

____________

In Other News:

We have found someone who will begin to carry on The Breath of Fresh Air emails encouragements that we’ve been sending out. Traci had been selecting those quotes for the past eighteen months, and now a friend from Texas, who shall remain nameless, wanted to pick up the mantle for the next season. So it will take us a bit to get restarted, but for those of you who have signed up, you’ll be receiving the thrice-weekly email to encourage you on your own journey.

Also, it looks like there will be some travel ahead. This month Sara and I will be in Colorado Springs to visit our son and make some personal connections. There’s no gathering planned yet, but we could do one on Sunday afternoon/evening if there’s any interest. Next month, I’ll be in Greenville, SC, Charlotte, NC, and some of the surrounding area. I’m also looking at some trips that may take me into Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, New England, Texas (Austin), and Virginia again. Keep an eye on the Travel Page or sign up for Travel Notifications if a trip comes together near you.

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No Better Place to Be

There’s probably not a week that goes by or a trip I take where these two questions don’t come up. This email asked them as succinctly and clearly as they’ve ever been asked. I thought some of you might also be interested in the answers. I hope that someday I’ll be able to travel somewhere and not have these questions come up. Religion has put so much fear into humanity that we miss the more critical things Scripture teaches us—that the Father behind all this is incredibly trustworthy to sort out all things with love and justice we can’t even imagine.

The message of salvation is that there is no safer place for us to be than in the palm of his hand, yielding to his desires for us.

If God loves people so much, then why does He not stop horrible things from happening to them? As for this first question, I am mostly at peace in my heart. Scriptures, the voice of the Holy Spirit, your writings and podcasts—all of these things have played a huge role in helping me understand that horrible things happen to people as a result of living in a fallen world, not because God sits by and “allows” them. In my own experience, I’ve seen what God is able to accomplish in us through these difficulties that probably would not be accomplished any other way. I still hurt for people who have experienced more pain, abuse, and heartache than I could ever imagine. But the Holy Spirit helps to direct my thoughts on these things now, even though my human ability to understand is limited.

That’s a timeless question and difficult to answer. We’re trying to put human-sized brains into a God-sized reality. There’s something about the gravity of pain in our world that draws people to him, and there’s something about free will on a planet he gave us that makes us victims of the free will of others. It is the source of evil in the world, and evil does have consequences even for innocent victims. And some people bear a disproportionate weight of that pain. We are assured that his love is bigger than anything this world can deal out to us and that he can work good out of very tragic events, until the end when the kingdoms of this world become the kingdom of our God! What a great day that will be when Jesus gets the last word on everyone and everything. He just hasn’t had it yet.

In the meantime, when you know others who suffer more deeply than you do, don’t seek an answer in trying to figure out if they have deserved this in some way. Instead, find a way for you to lighten their load, salve their pain, and provide for them. Handle your struggles inside his love and help others with their suffering by inviting them inside your love. That’s all we know, but it’s enough to get up today and go out and love in the world.

I’m confident enough in God’s love and character now that I don’t let it eat away at me. In fact, I’m able to hold it fearlessly before the Lord and ask Him to help me understand. But I’d still really like to hear your thoughts on it. It’s one of the things my husband says drove him to question, and ultimately walk away from, God. If God loves people so much, how can He send people to hell who have never even been given the chance to accept or reject Christ? People in remote places who’ve never heard even the name Jesus, as well as people in populated places who have experienced so much pain (abuse, neglect, etc.) that they have absolutely no frame of reference to connect with a loving God. See, when I encounter this pain, I am almost in a panic to get out there and spread the love of Jesus, so people can know how real it is. But then I become completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in need of this. And that’s when I’m faced with this question. There are so many people. Will Jesus make Himself known to every person somehow, in some way?

Your question is based on a number of assumptions that I am not convinced are true.

(a) God doesn’t send people to hell. He is doing everything he can to rescue people out of it. Hell is not God’s punishment; it is the culmination of sin’s destructive power. He’s the rescuer in the story, not the punisher.

(b) Who knows how many are lost to destruction, and how many turn their hearts to him in the face of death? I’ve seen and read countless stories of people turning to him at their last breath. So, we just don’t know how many he gets to redeem even at the very end.

(c) With a loving and just God, I’m sure everyone will have their chance however God makes himself known to them. I don’t think it is up to us, but at the same time letting his light shine through us to others opens a wider door for them to come to know him. So, we’re part of it, just not the whole part, or even the biggest part. I also know that sharing God with the world through our panicked fear will not win them anyway to his heart. Notice that Jesus didn’t do anything like that when he was here. He stayed in one relatively small area, sharing with those God had given him. Those at rest in his love and confident in his work are in the best place to present the Gospel to others around them.

And (d) as to the existence of hell itself, I don’t claim to have the after-life all sorted out anymore. The Scriptures on heaven and hell are some of the most difficult to interpret, and while some of them seem to contradict each other, I know that can’t be true. I believe Scripture is describing a reality too marvelous for us to understand from our limited perspective here. So we see hints of the joys of eternity and the consequences of sin’s devastation. But I wonder if heaven is really about mansions and streets of gold and if hell is a place of eternal torment for unregenerate humanity. Revelation calls it a “second death.” Could it be where the devil and his host are contained and others consumed? I don’t think Scripture is crystal clear on any of that.

What I have come to know through the Scripture is a Father wise and gracious enough that I can entrust all to him. He is so incredibly loving, so full of wisdom and righteousness, and so committed to justice that when we finally see how it all plays out, we will turn to each other and say, “Wasn’t that the most incredible way he could have done it? We’ll see he was loving and just all in a way we would never conceive. Every factor was accounted for, and he has proved himself to be the God above all Gods, abounding in lovingkindness that mercy and endures forever.”

That really is enough for me to lay all these questions and all the others I have in his hands. He is the potter after all, and we are the clay. He’s promised us enough wisdom and grace to navigate each day’s challenges, but not to answer all our fears and curiosities about the future.

The more we know him as the Father he is, the less any unanswered question will disrupt us.

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Voices from Ukraine

My post yesterday brought a load of response from people in the know about what the Ukrainians are facing and how you can best help them.  Check the comments in my previous blog if you want to hear about other places you can send funds.

First, this is from Timmy, the friend who coordinated my trip to Ukraine in 2018. He has been engaged with the people there for over twenty-six years:

Reliant, is sending 100% of all donations to Ukraine. I am one of two people giving primary oversight to the fund. We help with evacuations, lodging, and food for refugees, but also are helping with people who are sheltering in place. We also put resources into the hands of people who are ministering and caring for people on the frontlines. Because there are so many needs and the resources have a limit, we are trying to first care well for people within our relational circles. So far, we can still get funds to people in Ukraine immediately. Here is the link to help:  https://reliant.org/ukraine.relief.fund

He is in touch with many people throughout Ukraine and this is his summary:

It is horrific beyond words. What is shown on the news is sanitized. It is gut-wrenching to have thousands of people that you know, and hundreds of close friends in some kind of unimaginable crisis. In this day and age, we are getting real time information of friends who are in bomb shelters hearing missiles overhead and constant air raids, ones who are trying to flee and cannot get on the train or a bridge is blown out and they have to find a new a way in their car.

Thousands of people we know are hiding in bomb shelters, are living in constant danger, and many are frantically trying to flee the country. Putin has uprooted and destroyed the lives of tens of millions of people, and their suffering is immeasurable. Words cannot express how gut wrenching and heart breaking it is to know the horrors which our friends and all the people of Ukraine are experiencing.

One dear friend who was at the conference with you, sat on the border for 80 hours cramped in a cold car with his family. He is glad to have made it out, but his parents and his sister’s family are hunkered down in Kyiv amidst constant shelling, and he asks “but what now? What will we do?” Another family you know dhas had some shelling where they live in the West, but they look at what is happening with the war and prepare for the worst, while caring for as many as they can that have fled Kyiv and cities east of them.

I could go on and on with the horrible information we receive hour after hour.  Close to forty–eight million people’s lives have been completely uprooted and changed forever in the past week. We care about them and we deeply love them. We are praying and we are doing all we can to help them by raising funds, and coordinating relief to meet their needs for travel, housing, food, and basic necessities. You can help them at the Reliant fund:  https://reliant.org/ukraine.relief.fund

This email came in today from one of the Ukrainian families I met there who live in the western side of Ukraine. This is :

It is the 8th day of the war. It seems to us that this is the 8th week. Half an hour ago I talked to my brother-in-law, who is the pastor of the church in Kharkiv. His family is now in Poland, and he himself remained in Kharkiv. It has been heavily bombed. People are dying. A man and a woman died today on the way to the maternity hospital. She was to give birth to twins. The children were saved by doctors, but they are orphans from birth.

Many people are hiding from the bombing of Russian planes at subway stations. Alexander said that this is a poignant spectacle. The whole floor of the station is filled with people sitting, lying down, eating … People are upset and depressed. Putin and his demons continue to convince their people that the Ukrainian military is doing this.

Yesterday, I asked the Lord how much more we have to endure and I understood the following. We must endure this terrible war until the full enlightenment of all the people of Ukraine and all Western countries comes. Many Ukrainians before this war sympathized with Putin and Russia. In a few days the situation changed dramatically.

Western countries flirted with Putin, and used him as a prostitute to satisfy their business interests. We hope that the whole civilized world has seen. Of course, the enlightenment of the Russians is yet to come, but I hope that we will no longer have to endure the bombing because of them. Only God can give them insight.

This day passed quietly for our region. We continue to help refugees reach the borders, looking for those who can accept them in Europe. Today, the military in the city was provided with water and food. We pray unceasingly and believe that the Lord will give us victory.

Our whole family, church and Ukraine are infinitely grateful to you for your prayers and all your help.

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Help for Ukraine

The picture above was taken at a gathering I was part of outside Kyiv in Ukraine in 2018. I find my heart grieving every day for this war and what it may mean for them and their families. I’ve written about them before and in response I’ve got a lot of questions as to the current events there. Many have asked me if I’ve heard from my connections in Ukraine since all of this happened.  I have not. I’m sure they have more important things on their hands.

It is a horrible thing to watch every night on the news the destruction of this country by a dictator that is willing to destroy so many lives and so much property for his political ambitions. It has been difficult to watch western leaders take so long to take this threat seriously and to help the Ukrainian people. I know nothing more than what you’re seeing in the news. I have marveled at the bravery of Ukraine’s president and the people who are standing for their freedom at great personal risk and cost. We are seeing the best and worst of humanity in one event.

I don’t know how to pray here, except with groaning too deep for words and in the Spirit. I want his glory to be revealed even in the atrocities fallen humanity creates for others. It is our long history of humanity that the strongman forces his will on the weaker. It happens all the time in our world, not just in wars by megalomaniacs, but in the abuse, exploitation, theft and murder that goes on every day all over the world. Thus, it will be until the Creator of all brings this world to conclusion. Who knows, but that this may be the start of a final chapter in earth’s history? Or maybe not! Maybe it’s just yet another bully causing mayhem for others. It has made my heart cry out even more for the end of days and the coming of the true King of the earth.

Others asked if I know of ways to help.  I do not have any direct ways myself, but an LA Times article this week shared a list of links from California organizations that are helping there.  I’m also including them below if you’re interested in helping financially. I’m not vouching for any of these organizations, how how much administrative fees they take out before getting your gift to Ukraine, but here are some ways to help:

https://www.rsukraine.org/ Revived Soldiers Ukraine. This organization funds medication and medical supplies for field and army hospitals at the front lines of eastern Ukraine.

https://internationalmedicalcorps.org/updates/we-are-helping-people-affected-by-conflict-in-ukraine/ International Medical Corps. The Los Angeles-based organization provides emergency relief to those struck by conflict, disaster and disease.

https://www.directrelief.org/ Direct Relief. The Santa Barbara-based organization distributes donated medicine and medical supplies.

https://novaukraine.org/ Nova Ukraine has several humanitarian efforts, including Heart2Heart, which assembles and delivers aid packages to Ukraine.

https://hromada.us/anhelyk/ Hromada. This San Francisco-based organization runs a charity, the Anhelyk Foundation, that supports the children of families whose parents died in the fighting in eastern Ukraine.

https://www.icrc.org/en/where-we-work/europe-central-asia/ukraine International Committee of the Red Cross. The Red Cross humanitarian work aims to help people rebuild their lives and cope with the wider consequences of conflict.

https://www.unicef.org/appeals UNICEF. UNICEF’s Humanitarian Action for Children appeal helps provide conflict- and disaster-affected children with access to water, sanitation, nutrition, health and safety services.

https://www.care.org/?_ga=2.184369062.1254726457.1645744339-2081229836.1645744339  CARE is an international organization that fights global poverty with emergency response and long-term development projects.

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Not Everyone Has to Understand You

In interacting with some people about my last post on All Heaven Applauds, I realized I had left out something that’s incredibly important that will help you deal with people who lie about you to discredit you.  I’ve added it to the original post, but I also wanted to call attention to it here as well for those who already read the original post.

After learning to forgive, this may be the toughest one. Just remember, these are not things you can do on your own, but as we take our pain and grief to Father, he can teach us how to genuinely walk in these realties. It will take time to find real freedom here, just continue to give him access to your heart and your feelings as his love overwhelms the pain and leads you to the joy he has for you in spite of it.

Fifth, find comfort in being misunderstood. If you want to walk this journey, you can’t correct everyone’s lies. This is hard because religion taught us we are validated by other people’s perceptions of us. That’s a lie too! You don’t have to try to convince people of what’s true. Doing so will drive you nuts. People who traffic in falsehoods are not interested in understanding you or accurately representing your motives. They enjoy their attempts to diminish you and you’ll only give them more ammunition to twist into false accusations. Find your peace in the fact that God knows the truth and that he will eventually get the last word on every lie.  The misunderstandings of others are part of their journey. There may be a time to confront, but God will show you when and how, even though the outcomes will rarely be what you hope.

When you have the freedom to embrace the love of people who truly care about you, you’ll worry less about the judgments of those who do not.

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All Heaven Applauds

Have you ever been the victim of a well-placed lie? Did it cost you valuable relationships because someone spread rumors about you that others believed were true? 

If you have, you’re not alone. Treachery and deceit are an ever-present undercurrent of the human story. Some people think nothing of fabricating stories, exaggerating details, and spreading rumors to get what they want. I know many people who have been shattered by it, and once a lie takes hold, there’s no way to dislodge it from people who need the lie to be true.

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. The Bible is full of stories where lying and deception are tools to grasp power, hide jealousy, steal, or aggrieve themselves of some perceived injustice. They care little for the lives and relationships they damage in the process as long as they get the outcome they want. 

I get emails like the one below almost every week. This one is from a couple who were recently excluded from the congregation they had been a key part of for decades. To cover up his own failures, the pastor spread lies about them. I know many of you will be able to relate to their story.

We are definitely on a new adventure while still trying to heal from a devastating church break.  We lost so many friends and were shunned/excommunicated from those we thought of as family.  Because we live in a small town, we are constantly confronted with people from our old congregation, so we can only avoid the inevitable for so long.  Today, while at a coffee shop with my homeschooler, the wife of one of the elders who has played a huge role in the division at the church and in the attack on my husband tapped me on the shoulder and asked me how I was with a big smile.  

Of course, being caught off guard, I said “fine.” I felt physically nauseous. I just don’t know how to process this.  I feel like she was the “bigger person” in coming up to me.  Folks who have not experienced this type of betrayal have all kinds of advice for us and have told us that we just need to forgive and move on.  I’m tired of pretending like sin did not happen.  It did.  When I got in the car, I just started to cry.  It feels like we’ve been through something traumatic and people purposefully ignore it because they don’t want to be involved or they don’t want to think less of the pastor/leadership. I know something like this does not compare to physically losing a family member, etc. but it kind of feels like I lost a child or my husband and all people want to talk to me about is the weather, refusing to acknowledge this loss.

There’s nothing more painful than being the sacrificial victim your “friends” used to protect themselves. I’ve seen it too many times and have felt that sting myself. And there’s nothing more condescendingly painful than when those who spread lies about you approach you in that faked-up, lovey-dovey way so they can avoid any acknowledgment of the hurt they either caused or supported. I had a former colleague who was especially good at that. “Let’s just pretend we love each other after I stabbed you in the back.

Unfortunately, that is the nature of our religious landscape, and it can do far more damage in small-town America, where you can’t hide from your persecutors. I wish I had an easy answer for people like this, but I don’t know that there is one. The pain you feel from people’s judgments and their pretenses are not personal, though admittedly it feels like it is. Those on the side of abuse want “things” to get back to “normal” as soon as possible. Their smiles might be genuine to them, but they will always appear fake because it comes by denying what they did. And, yes, it is incredibly difficult for those whose lives were upended and reputations destroyed by that abuse to find a way forward with people who won’t acknowledge it.

If you’re looking to follow Jesus, you are constantly swimming upstream, which rarely leads to blissful, calm circumstances. Religious people are the worst at shooting their wounded after they’ve done the wounding. But that doesn’t mean you have to be their victim or join the charade to look loving. I encourage people to find a way into the gentle honesty Jesus can give us for people who have wronged us. That doesn’t come easily, but over time Jesus can heal the darkness.

How do you get there?

First, realize that God is still inviting you on a journey that is still full of his life. Though you had dreams destroyed or relationships altered, he has unlimited options to take you on a journey that will absorb the pain and use it to make you more dependent on him and more compassionate toward others. Stewing in bitterness will not help.

Second, find a way to count it as joy. Yes, this is tough, but it is precisely what Jesus told us to do when we find ourselves the victim of deceit and betrayal:

“Count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort, and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens – give a cheer, even! – for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.” (Matthew 5:11-12 MSG) 

Those are the words of One who endured lying and exclusion in far worse ways than we ever will. Someone gave me that Scripture after the first time a good friend lied about me to separate me from a fellowship I’d served for fifteen years. Standing up for what’s true will often cost you dearly with those only looking for comfort.

Why does heaven applaud? Because you got your guts ripped out? Of course not. Heaven applauds when truth wins out over expedience when people would rather do what’s right than compromise their hearts to maintain an image. You’ll find freedom when you can live for something more significant than doing what comes easy.

Third, realize that when you are sacrificed on the altar of someone’s anger or jealousy, God will be opening new doors to be at work in you and to make you a safe place for others. Those who have healed in betrayal will be far less dangerous in the world, and they will be an oasis to those who will find themselves in it one day.

Fourth, lean into forgiveness. This is hard and will only truly come when you know that you are not their victim. The prayer Jesus prayed from the cross, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do,” is the goal. It’s the most amazing prayer in Scripture. Jesus prayed it over those who lied about him to win his execution and now mocked him in the midst of his pain. Surely they knew what they were doing, didn’t they? Jesus looks deeper. They had no idea why they were doing such things. Why were they so afraid that they had to kill God’s Son to satisfy it? That, they didn’t know. The people that lie about us know that they are lying, but they often don’t understand what insecurity, trauma, or jealousy is at work to make them do it. When you love enough not to second-guess their motives, you will find the freedom to pray this prayer and mean it.

Fifth, find comfort in being misunderstood. If you want to walk this journey, you can’t correct everyone’s lies. This is hard because religion taught us we are validated by other people’s perceptions of us. That’s a lie too! You don’t have to try to convince people of what’s true. Doing so, will drive you nuts. People who traffic in falsehoods are not interested in understanding you or accurately representing your motives. They enjoy their attempts to diminish you and you’ll only give them more ammunition to twist into false accusations. Find your peace in the fact that God knows the truth and that he will eventually get the last word on every lie.  The misunderstandings of others are part of their journey. There may be a time to confront, but God will show you when and how, even though the outcomes will rarely be what you hope.

You don’t have to rush any of this. Let the pain work in your heart. Let the tears flow. His grace is at work in our sobs and grief, dislodging your spirit from the tyranny of self and inviting you so much deeper into his love and life. Let God show you how to walk through those moments and how he wants to rearrange your heart in the process. Let him destroy your need for the affirmation of others, and you’ll be a better gift in his hands for others. Embrace the pain and rejection, but most importantly, embrace him in it. He will bring healing to you in so many ways, and then you’ll know how to love others well and be an oasis for the pain that fills the world.

You have lost much, but there is so much more to gain. And, yes, it does take a while, but as the healing begins to set you free, you’ll find words to offer those who were part of the pain. You won’t have to ignore it or deflect from it. In his time, you’ll find the grace to smile and small talk again, knowing you are no longer their victim. And you will see ways to be gently honest in a way that invites them to life instead of using them to salve your wounds. By then, it won’t be about you anymore; it will be about them and finding a way to love them in their lostness.

Gentle honesty can look like, “It’s good to see you again, but you know our hearts still grieve over some of the things you were a part of. I hope we get a chance to let Jesus bring healing there someday.” At the right time, with the right heart, that can open doors for someone else to recognize how they passed on pain. But be warned, it may also make them angry, but at least they won’t be pretending anymore.

It’s not easy living in love in a world where treachery gets people exactly what they think they want. Just remember, it’s only temporary. One day Jesus will get the last word on everyone and every event. He doesn’t have it yet, but the truth will win out in the end.

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