I wrote this column for our local paper on the recent exposure of one of America’s religious leaders and wanted to include it here as well… Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could ask the larger questions inherent in this crisis rather than grabbing the duct tape and sealing up the illusion once again?

Last week, Rev. Ted Haggard, one of America’s leading pastors was suddenly pushed out of the closet by a prostitute whose services he had retained in Denver over a three-year period. Accused of sexual liaisons and drug use, Haggard initially denied even knowing the man but by the weekend he had confessed to immorality and deceit, and was dismissed from his church.

But the implications of his exposure go far beyond one congregation. Until last week he was also an outspoken advocate for traditional values and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, which represents the political interests of 30 million conservative Christians. This was one of theirs, whose influence extended into the Oval Office. Yet no one saw that that his words and his life were grossly out of synch.

For those of us who seek to live to the teachings of Jesus, last week’s news had to be tragic. Or was it? Certainly these events are incredibly painful for his family, and others he deceived, but I don’t know if it is ever wise to call the truth tragic.

For one, Haggard himself now gets to live in the light. He no longer has to hide in the dark and deceive those closest to him. Now off the pedestal, he has the opportunity to find out what he really believes and how he wants to live. I pray God’s grace upon him and his family in the process.

The larger question is how our Christian institutions will respond. The illusion that they accurately represent the life of Jesus has been ripped open again. Now what? Will they shove Haggard under the bus as an embarrassing aberration, or will they take a hard look at themselves? Don’t bet on the latter. Damage control will dictate that they remove him quickly, replace him with those who hopefully have no secrets and go on before people ask too many questions.

Well, I think some questions need asking:

• How is that that Christianity perpetuates institutions that cannot distinguish between those who have been transformed by a meaningful relationship with the Living God and those who can amass a following by their charismatic personalities or political acumen?
• Is the system part of the problem? In a national survey Fuller Theological Seminary found that over 50% of pastors claimed some form of ‘addiction’ to pornography. Are these just hypocrites who found their way into leadership or do the demands, frustration and loneliness of clergy life promote addictive behaviors in some?
• Why is it we can only recognize sin only when it is sexual and are blind to it when expressed in arrogance or greed for money or political power?
• Will we remind ourselves that Jesus’ gospel was not primarily for the wealthy and wise, but those society considers outcasts, and be more humble as a result. Certainly Haggard is not alone in his struggle and we might want to ask whether our congregations are grace-filled places of healing or performance-based social clubs.
• Is there an inherent contradiction between demonstrating the life of Jesus and amassing political power?

Whether or not evangelicalism will risk asking these questions, I know many people who are. Many are burned out on the misplaced focus of many traditional congregations, but remain passionate followers of Jesus.

Let’s not be afraid to ask the tough questions at times like this. We might find better answers and better ways to live out our faith.

I guess this is a milestone. This is the first YouTube link I’ve ever put on my blog. But you will be deeply touched by this. An outreach team from New Jerusalem Mission (see below) just returned from a trip to Central Africa and here is a video that some on that team put together. It is not like any other video you’ve ever seen about this crisis and how you can help. Listen carefully to the words. You will hear amazing words of life, such as,

Sometimes in an effort to remind people of the cost of the cross, we withhold grace until we are sure they understand their sin. But it is in giving of our grace that we remind people that they need to go to Jesus to find their own. People understand their sin without our help. It’s grace they need help in understanding.

I’ve not heard it put any better. Just hearing it gave me chills. This is how we are called to live in the world in the face of all kinds of human need and suffering.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog you know of my link to the AIDs mission based near Wichita Kansas, New Jerusalem Missions. They are not only preparing a live-in facility for those living with AIDs, but teams from there are doing training and mercy missions around the world including Africa and China. If this is your passion, join them. If you can’t join them and have some extra dollars around, send it to them! They operate on the shortest shoestring I’ve ever seen. They are frugal, responsible and giving themselves wholeheartedly to the task God has given them to do.

And whether you can join them or not, share with them financially or not, let’s all live this way in the world.

People understand their sin. Let’s help them understand grace!

Yeah, Baby!

We have finally completed the audio version of So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore by Jake Colsen. Wayne reads the book onto CD for those who’d prefer to listen than read.

This five-disc audio set and is available for $20.00, plus $2.50 shipping in the US, $9.00 overseas and can be ordered through our Audio Page

Interest in this book has far exceeded anything we ever considered and the mail it has brought from people who have found greater freedom to follow what Father has already put in their heart, has been a great joy. We hope the audio version will help bring its message to an ever-expanding audience.

Right now volunteers are translating this work into Russian, French, German, Afrikans, and Spanish. This has come from a groundswell of volunteers, not anything I’ve done to solicit people to do that. Somehow its message is resonating at a deep level with people from diverse cultures, and I sit here amazed at what God is doing with this little book that many told us would never work. Hmmm… Glad we did it anyway.

And back home we’re going to have to reprint it already. We thought we published a two-year supply, but it won’t even last to the end of this year.
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For those who think we who see Jesus moving in incredible ways beyond the traditional congregational model must have had a ‘really bad church experience’, read this. I got this email last week from someone who is struggling with the system in the midst of great success within it. I disguised a few of the details so as not to give him away. Except for the pay, this is how I felt even when I was trying hard to make that model work—

My life is full and wonderful. I have everything I have ever wanted. I have the job that I have always wanted. I am an associate pastor in a Midwest mega-church. I oversee all education, small groups, women’s and men’s ministry, and new member involvement. This particular church is ranked among the 50 most influential churches in America by the recent rating gurus. In my particular denomination I have reached the pinnacle for my calling (since I don’t want to be a Sr. pastor). I make more money than I ever thought possible in ministry and I’m not yet 35 years old.

To professional ministers or clergy in the institutional church, I have it all…seemingly unlimited resources, prestige, state of the art facilities, big numbers, etc. There is only one problem: I don’t see church the way I used to see church. God has shown me that we have the “church” that we built and not necessarily the church Jesus builds (not that there isn’t a little overlap if you know what I mean).

I am having huge issues of conscience and I need to talk to someone. I have tried to broach the subject with others only to be told that I am crazy for even thinking these things.

I spoke with this brother last week and appreciate fully the dilemma he is in. He loves what he does and enjoys the financial security, but in seeing what the system does to people he is now caught between the lives he can touch there and what else God might ask him to do. My heart goes out to him, but am confident that God will make the way clear.

I love it when people start to respect their conscience even beyond their perception of self-interest. The system of religious obligation doesn’t just chew up those it exploits or abuses; it chews up most those who find themselves successful in it.

When this kind of revelation comes, I encourage people to embrace it, not to retreat to the comfort of their own self-interest. Even if you don’t know what to do yet, holding the tension of a conflicted conscience in the presence of Jesus will allow him to keep transforming you. Embrace the unsettledness instead of pushing it away in fear and you will come to know whether Jesus wants you to remain, still loving those who are there, or whether he has a freer path ahead for you.

I don’t know how you fared last night. I was exhasted from a recent trip and not real excited about having our doorbell ring all night with trick or treaters from the neighborhood. But we put our game faces on and passed out candy anyway as we greeted the scads of kids that came to our door.

Then this morning, Christopher from the Portland, Oregon area, sent me a wonderful story of his Haloween. He’s a listener of The God Journey podcasts, and wanted to share how God was helping him think outside his boxes. I know this isn’t everyone’s answer for the day, but I sure see Jesus’ voice and grace evident as this story unfolds. It renewed my heart in the ways he works as we simply respond to the nudges on our heart…

Since it was your book (the Jake story) that has helped my wife and I to embrace the liberating truth that God speaks to us individually rather than just within the framework of the system, I wanted to share this amazing story with you about our experience last night. I’ll call it reverse trick or treating.

Historically, we’ve always felt that as Christians, we shouldn’t participate in Halloween in any way. Most people in our former fellowship were adamantly opposed to it. In the past, we usually would either go to a church alternative (where our kids would receive candy and have fun), orturn off all our lights and retreat to some room in the back of the house for a quiet evening.

Last night however, I felt really convicted when I came home from work, shut my garage door and turned out the lights while there were kids trick or treating just one house away. I felt like I was turning my back on them.

As I sat there for a moment, I asked the Lord “What do you want me to do?” And I felt like he was saying to me “Did I ever ask you to completely avoid others on this night?”.

So I went and told my wife that I’d rather not be hostages in our own house and that we should go ahead and turn on the porch lights and let them come. Her first response was that we didn’t have anything to hand out. When I mentioned that our own kids have an abundance of candy in their own stock from previous birthdays and holidays, we both quickly discounted it as a bad idea to take that from our kids and give it to others’. However, my five year old (who was busy peeking out the window at all the other kids), overheard me and became excited at the idea of giving other kids his candy. Although we were shocked (he treasures his candy), we decided to let him hand it out.

As kids came to our door (some of them teenagers with deeper voices than mine), they were greeted by my two kids (ages 2 and 5) eagerly serving them “treats” and having fun doing it. Some of the kids had puzzled looks on their faces and some of them were clearly touched by it (I could tell by the adoring “oohs”).

There was a concern about whether we had enough or not, but I told my son that if God wants us to give out candy, He’ll provide enough. Not only did we have enough before the night was over, but our neighbor across the street came over with her bowl of candy to give some to our kids. I thought it was an awesome lesson to them of God’s provision in a language they could understand (candy)!

I’ve never seen him so excited to serve others and give away his own things before. It was a great opportunity to talk about kindness as a fruit of the Spirit and the joy of giving that God puts in our heart. I probably didn’t even need to explain it*he was experiencing it!

The lesson for me was that God is big enough to reveal Himself even on a day that doesn’t bring glory to His name. It’s amazing how much easier it is to hear His still small voice when there’s not the constant mooing of sacred cows in my head. I’m enjoying listening to your podcasts. Thank you, and keep up the good work.

As I have traveled around New England these past two weeks, one thought keeps vibrating in my brain with ever-increasing conviction.

Not since the Middle Ages has the practice of Christianity as a religion been more at odds with what it means to live simply and freely in the life of Jesus.

That conclusion comes with no small taste of sorrow because so many people, in and out of the faith, have no idea that is so. What they call Christianity today, and what some toil in with such passion, bears little resemblence to the faith that was once delivered to the saints by Jesus himself.

But in this I also take great hope: The Spirit is on the move in so many places and people to once again let the life of Jesus be known in the earth. May it grow even greater!

On the last blog I made some comments about a book I’ve just finished reading titled Chasing Francis . I’ve appreciated what others added to that discussion about the emergent conversation. And I for one would be thrilled to find out I’m misunderstanding that conversation and that the ever-present Jesus is more at the center of it than I can see and it is not just a recreation of another system.

Be that as it may, I wanted to share something from that book that I thought was incredibly incisive. The author refers to Simon Tugwell as the source of this perspective of difference between the heart of a disciple and one schooled in religion.

The first is the radically, unprotected heart:

“It’s to live dangerously open, revealing all that we genuinely are, and receiving all the pain and sorrow the world will give back in return. It’s to be real because we know the Real.â€

The second is the defended heart:

“It’s a guarded and suspicious spirit that’s closed to the world. It sees everything and everyone as a potential threat, an enemy waiting to attack. It shields itself from the world.â€

I love that contrast. I think Jesus wants to transform us to the radically, unprotected heart so that we can live authentically and freely in the world. The flesh and religion seem to produce a defended heart that tries to protect ourselves at all cost. But as people become more transformed in their relationship with Jesus the radically, unprotected heart emerges with such grace and beauty and profound impact on those lost in the world.

Please don’t think you can choose the first over the second. You can’t. I don’t want anyone to think that an unprotected heart is how we’re supposed to act. It isn’t It is the fruit of Jesus changing us on the inside that frees us to live more like him in the world. The radically, unprotected heart is the fruit living in him until we know with increasing certainty that we are safer in him than we are protecting ourselves. I want more and more to know the dangerous beauty of living in the world with an unprotected heart, because of my certainty that it is in his hands every day that I live.

A couple of days ago, I quoted from Chasing Francis, book I’ve just finished reading. It came highly recommended to me, but honestly I found it to be a bit of a mixed bag. In the end, howeiver I was grateful to have read it. It encouraged my personal journey as well as helped me understand a bit more of the emergent conversation.

It is not truly a novel. It is the story of a fictitious pilgrimage by a disillusioned mega-church pastor who is forced into a leave of absence by a crisis of faith. He ends up in Italy with his uncle who is a Catholic priest who guides him on a process to rediscover his faith though the teachings, life and example of the person who became known as St. Francis of Assisi. Though the story does degenerate into preachiness at times, it is a creative way to tell the story of St. Francis in a way that readers today can engage. And St. Francis’ story and impact on the church of his day is a great read.

I found the first three quarters of this book to be engaging and a great encouragement to my own journey as he discards his institutional objectives for a clearer understanding of God’s work in the world. But I found the last quarter to be as disappointing as the first part was encouraging. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth reading. Even the ending was enlightening as an example of the Christianity I don’t want to get caught in again. The uptake of the story is that the pastor’s crisis of faith is resolved, not in a newfound relationship with God but a new set of five priorities derived from his time in Italy. In the end he and those he influences are more enamored with chasing Francis than they are following Jesus. I doubt even Francis would have approved.

But it did help me understand what has bothered me about what is becoming increasingly known as the emergent church or the emergent movement. The publicity of this book identifies it with this movement and Brian McClaren has a quote on the cover declaring this part of that conversation. I say that because the ending of this book solidifies some of what has concerned me most about this movement.

I’m often asked what I think of the emergent church movement and in answering I’ve reminded people that I’ve had very little firsthand touch with it. Thus my conclusions have come from reading some of its authors and what others have said so that my conclusions can’t be construed as definitive. But I have said that I think the movement is asking better questions than many traditional congregations and in many cases has a better message that focuses on relationships with each other and a more relevant engagement with the world.

On the downside, however, they seem to be compressing that into the same institutional structures that will eventually subvert their message. They are still caught up in building, leadership and services. Also, I’ve not found that the ever-present Christ is an important part of the conversation. It is more a movement driven by principles and ideology that find identity in the movement and its leaders, rather than finding a deeper intimacy with the Father, Son and Spirit. Certainly God is referenced a lot, but it doesn’t seem to me to be the language of a growing relationship with him, but an exploration of ideas and practices that might be more relevant.

This difference is not small. If our journey isn’t leading us to a fuller engagement with Jesus and a more complete identity in him alone, then we just end up with another man-made movement that results from our efforts rather than his working. I don’t know if that’s where the emergent conversation is going, but if this book is any indication, building institutions off a new set of priorities isn’t going to get it done.

Will we ever learn that Jesus didn’t start anything like that nor encouraged his disciples to do so? He said he would build his church an framed that reality in the language of family, not the structures of a corporation. In the end, if the still-present and still-active Jesus is not at the center of the conversation and the goal of that conversation, we’re still missing the best this kingdom has to offer,

I have just arrived in Maine for the tail-end of fall color. I love fall! I got in on the beginning in upstate New York, and am getting it on the finish here in New England. I’m sorry I’ve not written here in awhile, but this is a very busy season for me. I only had two days to turn-around from my trip to College Station, Texas and this eleven-day trip to New England. (If you want to hear more about the Texas trip, check out today’s GodJourney podcast. And I had a ton of things to do just to catch up on email and to get the Jake book read onto CD. I wanted to get it done before this trip, but didn’t make it. I still have some editing to do on the audio files and they should be ready shortly after my return from this trip.

Over the next few days I’ll be meeting with six or seven different groupings of people from Maine to Massachusetts to New Hampshire and back to Massachusetts. I have been looking forward to this trip for some time because I have so many dear, dear friends in this area and have not been back here for almost five years. I’ll also be meeting a lot of new people, some of them just starting on a fresh journey of intimacy with Jesus. This will be fabulous.

I’ll leave you with this quote I read the other day in a very strange book. I want to write more about it in a future blog. For three-fourths of the book it chronicles a fabulous journey that is incredibly challenging. And then the last quarter totally misses the point for the last fourth. Very sad. Some great insights, though, including this one:

“A truly great preacher isn’t someone with a seminary degree who explains the gospel. It’s someone who is the gospel.”
Ian Morgan Cron in Chasing Francis

Well, I’m off to College Station, Texas for the weekend. No, I’m not going to the Texas A&M game. I’m going to meet with a group of believers from the area that have been reading some of my stuff and wanted to talk with me. We’ve also got some folks from a wider region coming in as well. I’m really looking forward to it.

This all means I had to put up our latest podcast a bit early, since I will be traveling tomorrow. Oh well! It can’t be helped.

And let me leave you whit this wonderful uplifting letter. To be honest, I’ve been shocked at how broadly our little podcast has found its way around the world. I got an email the other day that was a real encouragement. If this is what people are getting out of our podcasts, then it is well worth the time and expense of doing it.

I just wanted to drop you both a line and tell you how much I enjoy your weekly podcasts. I am currently serving in the US Navy as an intel specialist and I can tell you that after a grueling week your podcasts lift me up with humor, honesty, and a freshness that I rarely receive in the bowels of the “dungeon” that we work in.

I have to also tell you that I have been feeling about the church what you and Brad discuss, for quite some time. and all this time I have been feeling a real sense of guilt that I haven’t wanted to attend church, or play their game of “you come, we manipulate you, you leave, you come back for repentance, we manipulate you”, and on and on and on. After I graduated from college and interned overseas at a church, I returned to the US feeling even more torn on the subject than ever, and even more torn seeing college and high school students struggling with the same inner turmoil. I had no answers for them, much less myself, and when I would go before the Lord on a daily basis I felt like I had to hide from Him these feelings of not wanting to attend church and play “the game”.

The church did a great job of making sure I felt that condemnation too, and I grew more and more resentful of them, all of them. however, now in my mid 20’s, and still madly in love with Jesus, I came to peace with it, and really took Jesus’ hand to walk my own journey and not that of what someone else told me was right. Thank you for getting the word out about this magnificent freedom. I deploy for iraq in a few months and I plan to still be listening to you both from the sand box, laughing along with Brad poking and smacking the bear. Have a great week, and thank you again.

You’re more than welcome. And our thoughts and prayers are always with the troops wherever they are stationed around the world. May God’s light shine through you to others around you in the simplicity and joy of just being his child in the earth.