Well, Sara and I are off to the airport and an overnight flight to Washington, DC where we’ll attend the President’s Prayer Breakfast with the whole Shack team as well as hook up with other brothers and sisters in the area. It promises to be a lot of fun and all the more because Sara is going too!

But I’m going to leave you with a wonderful surprise. Some letters I get just blow me away. ‘Melanie’ sent me her story last week and I think you’ll be blessed to read of the depths of pain that bondage can drag us into and Father’s amazing ability to find us even in those depths. (I have changed some of the details to disguise her identity)

I am writing this email to tell you how much I enjoy all of Lifestream and listen to you and Brad on The God Journey podcast every week. I love the freedom that I am able to live in even when those around me do not understand what it is!

I look at my life today and realized how blessed I am and I give all the glory to Father. I have a beautiful daughter. I have an awesome career ahead of me! I am in the best shape physically that I have ever been. I have an awesome family – a mom and dad who have always been there for me – even when I didn’t want them to be. They were wise and loving enough to give me the freedom to learn the hard way but were there to help me heal when I discovered how hard the life I chose was. I have an older brother who is my bestest friend! This life of mine today is so different than the way it was headed just over 3 years ago. Let me start at the beginning.

I am a US Navy brat! My dad was Navy; Uncles were Navy, a Grandfather in Navy! Brother is in Navy! I saw through my eyes how perfect those people were. And with this all around me, I put expectations on myself that I could never achieve! Don’t ask me how I did that – I really don’t know! I was never satisfied or content with myself no matter what I did or how well I did it. I worked hard in school academically, socially and extra-curricularly. I was involved in gymnastics, dance, swimming and captain of the cheerleading drill team. I strove to achieve and I did – but it was never good enough! It was never good enough for me!

Unfortunately, in 11th grade, I started going out with a guy who lived two lives. He was also six years older than me. He was heavily involved in the drug trade in Southern California. I ended up getting pregnant. Out of the shame, I ran away thinking I would get kicked out anyway. Thinking I would be able to move in with my boyfriend, I ran to him and found out he didn’t want a pregnant teenager on his hands. I left there with a broken heart and more shame and disgust with myself. I stayed with some friends and was basically giving myself away to whoever would have me. At six and a half months pregnant, I was gang raped and beat and left for dead. In and out of consciousness, my daughter was delivered prematurely. She was three months old before I came to consciousness enough to realize I was a mommy.

My parents were there to help me. I didn’t feel I deserved their help, so I escaped with my daughter on my own again. I answered an advertisement for a talent agency that was looking for girls with dancing talent and an open mind. I went to the interview and was told I would be perfect for the performing they had in mind. The word perfect stuck in my brain! Something I was perfect for! I took the two-week crash course on being an exotic dancer. The first few performances were raw and hard. I only had to go topless and in a g-string, but it was so far removed from normal behavior for me, I was shocked at myself to how I loved the attention I received. Within three months, I had clubs asking for me by name. Within six months, I had become a feature dancer. In the area, this was simply unheard of. All this attention fueled my need to be the best. I was beginning to make lots of money and lots of perks. I was able to hire a nanny for my daughter who traveled with us all over North America.

I began to get pressured to perform in films. I refused these requests. The pressure intensified until it came to a point where I hated what I was doing. Unbeknownst to me, I was actually in breach of contract because I was refusing to perform in porn films. One night I was visited by a couple of gentlemen who informed me that they basically owned me. I didn’t know what to do. I finally said yes to do a film with them, but the first day of filming, I couldn’t do it. I was beat up pretty badly by my ‘agent’.

I took a contract to perform in Canada for a while to escape the pressure. My daughter was with me and we were having a good time, money was coming in good and I was becoming well known. My agent informed me that I could appease people by posing for some magazines. When I found out I did not have to have sex to be in the magazine, just full nudity, I agreed. In my mind at the time, that was far better. I did eight photo shoots, which ended up being in euro-mags. Little did I realize, I was falling deeper into the pit.

Just after my 22nd birthday, I was coming offstage at a club in Vancouver Canada, when these three girls about my age came up to me with a dozen roses and a basket of personal care products. They gave it to me with a message of “Jesus loves you and so do we.” I burst into tears and escaped to my dressing room. I had grown up in a church going home and new the truths in the Bible. This event flooded my brain with all the fond memories I had as a child learning about God and Jesus from my mom and dad. I immediately got on the phone and called home. They told me I was always welcomed home!

I started packing our belongings when my agent came into my hotel room. He informed me that I cannot just walk away from these contracts. He told me basically I had to fulfill every last detail to their satisfaction before they would consider releasing me. I was trapped. I continued performing but hating it once again. I found escape in chatting with some wonderful people in Christian chat rooms. Though I didn’t know anyone really, I poured out my heart and circumstances to a few people who began to pray for me. In the meantime, these three girls continued coming to this club to see me. I agreed to go for a coffee with them. They just shared the love of the Father with me and how much He loves me. They said they knew I had a relationship with God by how I responded to their first visit.

At this same time, my brother discovered where I was and what was going on. He and some people of the congregation he was involved with assembled enough finances to free me from my obligations. I was free!

So much has happened since then even. I took courses to get my personal fitness trainer certifications and began working. My daughter and I got to really know one another. I call her my miracle child. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know if I would still be here. I don’t even know why I told you all of this.

Anyway, I didn’t start going to “church” right away. I just read the gospels over and over again discovering who Jesus is. Wow! He is something else. I am so glad I did that as I dont know if I could have loved the God of the old testament without first seeing who he is in Jesus. Anyway, I started visiting “church” congregations to become totally confused and frustrated. I became anxious and unsure of who I was as a Christian, or if I even was one. My brother had recently visited your website and emailed me the link. Wow! Thank you so much. I listened, I read, I compared to what I was reading in the bible and am confident I am right where father wants me. I have talked to some people about it and they say I am apostate which made me smile because yes, I have left religion!

I just finished reading “The Shack” which totally blew me away. Wow. Father was there with me through all of what I went through. I certainly identify with Mack when he realized that he did love papa and did trust papa.

Now it is 2008 and I am just loving this life Father leads me in. Of course, like everyone, I still have issues. Biggest issue I have right now is with men. I don’t know how I will ever really be able to trust a man to have a healthy relationship. But, I do know when Father knows I am ready, we will cross that bridge together. For now, it is my daughter and I and we love hanging out. I am able to keep busy working as a fitness trainer. This will be season two of competing in triathlons and I love getting together with my folks and brother who all love Father who has brought us together the way he has.

I guess I tell you all this to tell you thanks for making a difference in me. You and Brad have an awesome podcast. I send the link to The God Journey to everyone I email and tell everyone I know.

I just love hearing how Father pulls people out of darkness and restores them with life and with joy. No one is too far out of reach for God to rescue! Thanks to this dear young woman for sharing her story with me, and now with all of you!

Windblown Media has just released a new Shack image for use on other websites. You can see it above. If you’d like to include it on yours, you can download it at here.

Due to a trip Sara and i are taking to the east coast, our offices will be closed from noon on February 5 until Monday, February 11. Books and CDs ordered after noon on Tuesday, will not be shipped until the following Tuesday. We apologize for any inconvenience this causes you.

A while back I did a blog on our reprint of So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore, suggesting we might change titles on this book to make it more accessible to others.

We’ve bounced all over this for some time, as did the input we got from many of you. There are pluses and minuses to many different alternatives. While we thought a more ‘fiction-obvious’ title would help describe the book better and connect us with a new audience, in the end we were convinced that the current title best connected us with the audience that would be most encouraged by this book. The “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore” title has continued to be a link to many, who like Jake, are having their eyes open to the difference between institutional priorities and relational realities.

Shortly after we made our decision, I received the following email that confirmed where we wanted to go with this book. It came from Trisha:

I have just emailed some pals about your book. It’s amazing how God works you know? I was getting fed up of “doing” church after 10 years of faithful serving/attendance etc., and one recent Sunday I decided to “bunk” off (very rare for me)! I said out loud to God, “I do not want to go to church anymore.”

Immediately I sensed God telling me to Google those very words. Yes, to literally type them into the Google search engine! So that is how I came across your book, and am currently enjoying its humour, wise truths and I sense it is bringing real freedom to me.

And hey, it must be nice to know that God himself is promoting your book!

So if God is using the title, what else can we do? Seriously, God has been using it all along to draw the right audience for the book. So in the end, we’ve decided to keep the title as is, though you’ll note by the picture above that we’ve changed the layout dramatically. Rather than the big words saying “Don’t Go to Church”, which some took as a subliminal message. To which my response has been, there was nothing sub-liminal about it. It was clearly liminal! And I think that’s why everyone assumed from the title that the book would contain a lot of ‘church-bashing.’

It wasn’t designed for that at all. It was written to help people find a life in God’s through a freedom from religious shame that they perhaps

Now the big words are “Want Church”, and it has an entirely different feel. And the subtitle has been cut down to just, “an unexpected journey” and is far more readable. Because this book was written for people who hunger to live in the reality of church as God might see her and Jesus is building her, rather than as lifeless institutions.

So, we know that won’t do answer it for everyone. But we’re settled that it is the best solution that we can see today. We’re already ordered a reprint because we’ve only got a couple of cases left and then we’d be out.

I loved this email I got from a brother in Germany recently:

This whole last week I was listening to your Transition series and now the rest of our group got so interested that we all started to listen to it together. What a blessing! What an eye opener! We too realised that we have been focusing far too much on “home church” rather than on Jesus himself, so listening to this stuff is so exciting! I now almost feel like when I first got saved… easy, not ashamed, excited and full of love and life, and I never want to go back to anything else again.

How quick we are to take our eyes off of Jesus and put it on ‘the church’ in its myriad of expressions. When we do the life is lost, because there is life in no other but the Son. There are lots of ways believers can gather and encourage each other. But at the heart of it, Jesus must have first place in all things. That’s what makes the church, the church! It isn’t where we meet or how we meet, but the church ‘gathers’ around the supremacy of Christ. Read Colossians 1 again some time and bask in the simple joy that Jesus is the first born of the new creation.

Where we are focused on him we get to experience the life of the church with him. When we are focused on any other thing, including whatever church model we’re trying to implement, we’ll only get to experience the model. What a horrible trade-off, in my view!

Got back from Omaha yesterday afternoon and jump into a pretty short week here. I’ve got to leave next Tuesday for Washington, DC and the President’s Prayer Breakfast, which isn’t just a large breakfast banquet, but all day small-group sessions to help people connect. Sara, Brad and Paul Young (The Shack) will be going as well. This was in the works even before the book came out. We’re going to hang out in the area through Saturday to connect with some other folks as well. I’m blessed to have Sara with me on this one. It should be lots of fun.

I had a wonderful time in Omaha and met with lots of folks over four different nights in three different homes, and a coffee house where an emergent bunch are taking shape. I really enjoyed the people I got to meet and the hunger for an authentic expression of the life of the church. They seemed to come from a variety of places on this journey and they rotated through so we kind of had a circular conversation on a variety of topics.

You can probably hear a lot of that on a podcast I taped with one of my hosts on this trip, Kyle Knapp. We had a wide-ranging conversation on the life of the church and the hunger of God’s people that is surfacing over the earth. You can listen to it here, if you like. He’s a wonderful brother with some gifts in music as well. He just released a new album called House of Sod with lyrics grounded deeply in his passion for God and the Great Plains where he lives.

Also, please keep the need in Kenya in mind. They are calling out for help from their Western brothers and sisters for help in escalating death and destruction that is ravaging that country. If you can help, please see my previous post. Thanks!

This weekend I’ve been hanging out with a bunch of free rangers in Omaha, NE and having a wonderful time. I’ve talked nonstop for two and a half days in a string of conversations that just unfold during the day with different people flowing in and out of them. I love the hunger and the freedom God makes available to his people. What a joy!

But I got some email this morning from Kenya, that let’s me know the need there is ongoing. The situation has deteriorated greatly in the last three days. They have used up all the money we have sent and as you can read below the need continues to grow. We continue to send money overseas to help. What blessed me about the recent emails you can read in the last excerpt. God is actually beginning to reveal to them a different way to think and be the church. In this culture that’s a major shift and I marvel at their open hearts to give to others in this time of crisis.

If any of you want to help us help them, please go to our Invoice Page and click on the ‘Pay Invoice’ button. You can then list “Donation for Kenya” and the amount you’d like to give. If you use the ‘Donation’ button you will need to also send me an email letting me know you wanted this to go for Kenya and not for Lifestream. All donations to this cause are tax deductible and every dime sent to us will go out for relief in this Kenyan crisis. Or, if you prefer, you can also send a check to Lifestream • 7228 University Dr. • Moorpark, CA 93021.

From the director of the base we are helping:

Yesterday I went in western province, to attend a burial of one of our sister who died through the violence . The violence came out as from Monday between Nandi and Maragori. Many houses were burned and round eight people died.And over 300 houses were burned. We still need more prayers because this things as arising time to time many people have camped within the police and churches. There is full of people who have come for help in IGEM western office. So we still need more prayers and any help which God may put in your hands. Thank you very much for continue praying for us. We say that may the Lord bless you and annoint you more and more.

From Jane, a mother who received food and blankets from IGEM:

I am so happy to write to you thank you very much for the great support you send to us through Michael . We have never seen you but God may bless you more and more. I was among the people who was affected in this violence but we thank God for his divine protection. We were alive with the entire family and we moved out safely. We are now stationed with one of IGEM church members believing God. We thank you for your great support to our brothers who have camped everywhere. Thank you for blankets mats and food. May god bless you am a mother of 8 children.

From the office manager at IGEM:

I would like to report about serious report from our brothers and sisters who are affected country wide with this violence you might have been reading the reports through internet but I want to report only what is in the ground which is affecting our people for about three days ago within Kitale. Michael, our director has not slept for about three days.

In one of our zones the invaders had burned again the houses and killed a big number of people . And many people have ruined walking about thirty kilometers to find the refuge and we have just right now with more than one hundred and fifty families who need totally our help. the things they are doing they burn houses, taking the flocks and burning the maize stores. People have nothing, some even without the clothes especially the children so pastor Michael he went today in the morning with other parents to find some of the children who were displaced without knowing where they have gone. But I have received a phone from Him that the things are not good they have managed to get only two children out of thirteen . And have requested me to send to you if you can intervene for this hard situation . This is why I am writing to you on his behalf.

So please brothers we need your help again. There is more cry and suffering.

Some of the families they walked long time without eating so today our team are working out how they can help. So anything you may feel we are in needy just now . May the Lord bless you so much.

And then she added this in a subsequent note. In it she refers to some of my books that I sent to them almost a year ago now:

Thank you very much for your books, has blessed us more. We have copies in the office. And we have been giving out for ministers to read at least two weeks before they return it. The book has became a great blessing to us specifically; the one in title: Authentic Relationship, He Loves Me and The Naked Church.

About me personally I have received something which has changed my life because people especially here in Africa they honor a building much more to respect as a church. And most of our people here they have been putting the titles and positions. But these material has real helped us and Michael. In the last three weeks, He confessed before people about the titles in IGEM structure and he insist to change it and immediately focus on what the Lord has revealed . And he insisted through your booklets called; “Won’t you go to church” so I want to share with you- Lord is changing something and is demolishing what man might been building. Thank you very much. God may use you in this end time church to put the spiritual structure which somethings mankind can not see by their eyes.

Wherever I rested in the office, you may get me with one of this books especially’ “He Loves Me.”

Recently we got the message from the people who have camped, she read about your message we circulated by the name “one anothering” and she was totally complete convicted once more. So you may not have come in Kenya but, your message God is using to change a church structure in Africa. And if Michael is leading a big organization like IGE how much more if God will use him to teach the church in Africa. You might have done something great which you will be rewarded.

If Father puts this on your heart, please share what you can with these dear people. Thank you!

I’m off to Omaha, Nebraska in the morning so I’m going to let Nancy do my blog today. On an email list I host, a young man wrote in recently frustrated that the leadership of the congregation he attends aren’t response if to his doubtful or difficult questions about the effectiveness of their program. He’s felt rejected and some have labeled him a heretic for poisoning others in the fellowship with is concerns. He just couldn’t understand why his fellowship couldn’t be a safe place to ask questions and discover truth on this journey.

Most of us have known the frustration of trying to confront the institutional mindset that distract a group of people from living relationally in the life of God. I love the way Nancy answered him:

Thanks for sharing your journey story. Four years ago I shared a similar anguish with Wayne and Lifestream over my journey out of religion. I’m celebrating with you today. Go ahead, grieve for a time. It’s painful. Then get up and follow Christ who is leading you out of religion and into a way of knowing, relating and responding to Him you didn’t learn in the institution.

Don’t bother confronting institutional mind-sets of those in leadership. If you are like me, God is asking you to confront your institutional mind-set and that’s an invitation and entrance to freedom in Him.

There is a lot of free stuff to read and download on the LifeStream site that will help you along the
journey adventure of discovering Life in Him. I personally related to an article entitled “The Nut
Test.”

Four years ago I Googled “naked church” and found cyber brothers and sisters who encouraged me as I’m encouraging you; follow Christ—not the institution. For many folks the journey out is not quick, painless or easy. I stumbled and staggered into it myself. God closed a door [religion] that no one could open and opened a door [life in Him] that no one could close. If not, I might still be banging on that door asking leadership to confront THEIR religious mind-sets. Yikes!

Welcome to the adventure!

I love the spirit and content of that. Go ahead and grieve. It is painful when others don’t want to engage the questions. But then pick yourself up and keep following. What God is confronting most often is in us, not in others. No one can restrict the true freedom that is found it Christ. This is an adventure after all, and there are highs and lows as it unfolds.

That’s why Paul and Silas could still rejoice in a prison cell after they had been beaten for their faith. Freedom is a reality within; it’s not getting other people around you to do what you think is best.

This was in my inbox this morning, and I wanted to share it with all of you. Of course, my name got attached to all of this, but they all know it is coming from my ‘team’, which are simply friends and friends of friends who want to help those who are in deep need today.

I would like to introduce myself, I am Bramuel. I would like to send my greetings to you personally and your partners team and I have come to know you through Michael Wafula, IGEM Director. I have seen many preachers but I cannot compare the love this man has. This man of God since this election violence started immediate after voting, the calamity came, our fellow brothers lost their lives and the family and many people houses were burnt, so we didn’t know where to go but we ran out walking without knowing where the family is. But since IGEM is having more churches, people decided to run where there is a church building to be helped but this man of God took immediately this burden and sacrificed his life to make sure that we are helped. Actually, we had not had hope but right now we have the hope through the love this man has shown us. We have never lacked anything , every week, we get the share and I was also among the people who received enough so that I may start a life and he told us openly that there is a brother whom we have never seen with eyes and God convicted him and released a big support and he said that his name is Wayne, so I would like to say we have never seen you but the love you have given to us, it is already recorded in the Kingdom of God.

Many people they ran with nothing but we have seen hundreds of blankets, mats, food being distributed through IGEM ministry and Michael always announces to these brothers and sisters that this support has come through the love of brother Wayne and his team so we say on behalf of others, I say may God bless you and I encourage you that there are people who ran who still need help, please continue blessing them.

Lastly, I received a message with wonderful books called one anothering and I have read this material. The material has changed many people and people are forgiving one another. Also pray for us, two days ago, the place called Salama, many people have died and many people have camped in the places and some they are sleeping naked, nothing to eat and with no clothes or utensils. Pastor Michael visited them yesterday but he had nothing to say but only to encourage them to trust in God for their provision. They are around 230 families. Pray for them that God may provide for their needs.

The crisis continues to worsen in Kenya as you will see from the emails below. We are blessed to be able to help a significant group of people near Kitale with housing, food, blankets, medicine and supplies from your generous contributions. To date we have taken in almost $8,000.00 and money continues to trickle in. We will continue to be a conduit as long as people have it on their heart to give. Thank you all for your generosity. Here are their most recent reports:

From one of the office workers:

On behalf of our beloved brethren from here, we send greetings and appreciations for your kind love you have shown to us. Attached pictures are some of the things which we distributed in the places where our brethren have camped. We had formed 5 groups and I was leading one group and other fellow brothers. In my group, we were accompanied by the director carrying mats, blankets, rice, soap and clothes and other group 2 they were carrying some mats, blankets, maize and some beans. Group 3 was also carrying blankets, mats, soap, rice and beans. Group 4 also distributed mats, blankets, maize, rice and beans to different church buildings within Kitale region. Group 5 the same as the above groups.

According to the need of mats, we decided to distribute 2 mats for every family and there was more demand of mats, blankets and other necessary things. For health purposes, every group must be accompanied by two Red Cross representative to witness and to help to distribute in order. There is a list of needs in the office, it has helped the first part. We ask your assistance in second part. We have told them to pray and trust God for other provision that we may complete.

This support has helped over 300 families, brothers and sisters who are now seeing the love of God through God’s people. So they pray for the Lifestream ministry and the team for their great concern. More is still needed. As God enables you, we pray that you continue helping our people.
May the Lord bless you as we look forward to hear from you.

And this is from my friend, Michael:

Here the situation in Trans-Nzoia (Kitale)it is getting worse and many people have been killed. It is 20km from Kitale. Security is tight but people are armed and now there are many refugees than before. We need prayers more and continue assisting us until we tell you it is better. Things are worsening every day, it has turned to be clashes not political.

I would like to send my humble greetings to your beloved wife and the family and the entire friends and all who are partnering with your beloved ministry. I would like to inform you that I have more comments and more appreciations from the brothers who have been receiving the message we have been circulating from your one-anothering materials. This has brought more restoration, forgiveness and reconciliation. Yesterday as we were accompanying our team to distribute some items, I got a testimony when people felt and touched with the spirit and start forgiving those who burnt their houses, properties and this took about one hour from one of the lady who read the message singing forgiveness and it spread to almost everywhere when people were shouting praying loudly and forgiving those who have oppressed them.

Thank you for this wonderful message. God is preparing in this hard situation people to know Him and to see His love. I would like to say that God is the one who connected us with a great purpose for such time of this. I would like to encourage you and your team that continue standing with us until things will be back to normal because our brothers here are praying that the prayers to change this situation.

The support you sent to us , we started distributing immediately the same day Saturday evening in five different places and our team are working excellent heart as well as ministering to the needy. Our intercessory team here are fasting and praying for God for protection and for the provision especially for your ministry and with the land of Kenya. About another support, my brother, I would like to ask that please we still need your help anything you may feel as the Spirit leads you. Please help. In the pictures you received, the displaced children who need right now to learn no matter what circumstances they are passing. So our IGEM team they have volunteered to teach them as they believe God to restore things to normal. So may the Lord bless you as we help our brothers and sisters to feel the love of God.

Below are the new pictures they sent of the people they are helping, their assistance from the Red Cross, and the goods being distributed. Thanks for all your help. If you’d like to join with us or send more, please go to our Invoice Page and click on the ‘Pay Invoice’ button. You can then list “Donation for Kenya” and the amount you’d like to give. If you use the ‘Donation’ button you will need to also send me an email letting me know you wanted this to go for Kenya and not for Lifestream. All donations to this cause are tax deductible and every dime sent to us will go out for relief in this Kenyan crisis.

If you prefer, you can also send a check to Lifestream • 7228 University Dr. • Moorpark, CA 93021.