Come Visit the New Website

I am finishing up a trip into Wisconsin over the weekend, and will return home tomorrow. Jesus has hungry people everywhere who are no longer satisfied with the religious conventions that seek to substitute for our own relationship with him. They are crying out for more reality in their relationship with him and more authenticity in their relationship with others, both believers and those who have yet to come to know him. It’s pretty awesome. I love what God is stirring in his people all over the world.

I also wanted to announce that we have just completed a major overhaul of our Lifestream website to make it more functional for the numbers of people visiting us these days. It was just released over the weekend and I think we have most of the bugs all worked out. If you find anything that doesn’t quite work right, please let us know.

Mostly everything is in the same place, but the navigation and look are much cleaner and simpler. So, if you haven’t visited in a while, come to our ‘open house’ and have a look around. There’s lots of free stuff to read and listen to, and our hope is that it will encourage you on the incredible journey of living solidly in the love of the Father, and discovering the joy of loving others the same way we are loved.

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How Do You Picture God?

Most depictions of God in art throughout church history have imagined a distant and exalted older man, often with a look of anger in his eye. Interestingly enough, most depictions of Jesus (except when he is clearing the temple), show him in softer and more compassionate moments. If Jesus was the exact representation of the Father’s nature, why do so many people see their demeanor so differently.

Most images I had of God growing up were scary. They were never engaging or inviting. Jesus, was the good guy. He’d fixed things with Father, or so I was told, but that didn’t make him any less scary. If I was going to be around God, I wanted to be hiding behind Jesus’ robes.

Paul, however, had no such image of God. He understood that the cross fundamentally changed how we get to view God—no longer as terrifying judge, but now for who he really is, Abba Father. “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15) As I’ve said many times, Abba is the safe connection a little child has with his or her dad.

After our Mother’s Day family get-together, my daughter sent me this picture. I don’t know when she took it. It’s a tender moment between my granddaughter, Aimee, and me. When I saw it, my heart leapt, not only because I loved having that moment captured in a photo, but because it drew me to think of my own relationship with God the Father. This picture screams Abba, even though I’m not really her dad! This is the image Jesus died to secure in our hearts—Father’s lap is the safest place for us to be, even at our most broken.

When you consider God’s demeanor toward you, I hope you something like the image below in mind, rather than the one above. If not, there’s more work for his Spirit to do in you. And I pray he does it.

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Starting a House Church

Here’s an interesting exchange I had recently. I have many like it. It seems when people leave an old system, their first passion is to start a new one. The unspoken thought is that systems will work pretty well if the right people are in charge. The reality is that systems themselves are destructive to relational and organic growth.

It seems all of this stems from the fact that we really don’t trust that Jesus is capable of building his church—that he cannot give rise to the reality of his family if we don’t “start something”. It’s as if living loved and loving just won’t be enough to let him do all he wants to do.

Here’s a passionate brother who is anxious to start his own church and my responses:

Mike: I just found out about you and what you are doing because my daughter sent me to your web for information about how to start an open church at home. I am just a new born baby, about 4 years now, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit about 3 years ago and I have been preparing myself to follow God’s plan for my life. I am considering going to a Bible college this September and the Lord spoke to me and asked me to start an Open Church with some of my family members and friends. I have read some of your articles regarding Church and think have helped me tremendously on how to approach the Lord’s command.

My response: I’m pleased to hear of your passion, but I don’t have any advice on how someone should approach starting a church, except to tell them not to. People who start a church end up basing it around their vision or gifts and it will either bog down or simply become the outgrowth of one person. I am convinced real church emerges as an organic outgrowth of relationships people are already sharing. So the question is not, how do we start a church, but rather, how do we facilitate people caring for each other and growing spiritually together and see over time whether or not church life emerges from that reality? I really don’t think we need to start churches. Jesus started the only one that matters at Pentecost 2000 years ago. We just need to live in that reality instead of starting more institutions that only further divide the body. That’s probably not what you wanted to hear, but I honestly thing the way God works is very different than the way we do…

Mike: I guess I used the term CHURCH incorrectly, because what I want to do is getting people… friends… family and share with them my experience, to try to have them become true Christians and then share our love with Jesus. I love your honesty. God bless you.

My response: I’m sure Father will lead you. If I could encourage you in anything it would be to share your life freely, but look to come alongside someone else’s journey. Once we try to get people to have the experience we have, we’ll manipulate them instead of serve them. Jesus just wants you to come alongside folks and give them truth as they are ready for it. Once we start trying to manage people’s spirituality, people will run from us. God will show you. I love your heart and passion, but church leadership has done this wrong for a long time and its why people are fleeing from the church instead of finding God in her.

Mike: Thank you Wayne, I understand what you are saying. Please tell me in your opinion then what I should do. How do I try to tell people about how wonderful Jesus is, about eternal life, about relationship with GOD. I am so new at this. I am a 71 years old newborn baby so willing to do good. Any advice will be incredible for me.

My response: What should you do? Follow him. If you don’t know what that means yet, just live in his love and love others around you. In time it will be clear what he wants you to do. If you don’t know now, other than to follow someone else’s form, then maybe you are moving ahead of him. I’m really serious about this. We’re just asked to love like he loves us (John 13:34-35), to proclaim the gospel as we have opportunity and to help others follow Jesus who want to follow him (Matthew 28:19-20). We are not told to plant a church, for he said he would build his own. He’s good at this. He knows what to do. Just help others as God gives you grace. Don’t try to start something. Don’t try to ‘get people’ to do anything. Live your life before them until they are hungry enough to ask for help. Then help them learn to live loved and follow Jesus. And the gospel will spread…

* * * * * *

When I last heard from Mike, he seemed to have captured what I was saying. We must not forget that the ‘early church’ did not arise out of a plan to get people to do anything. The early church emerged out of a revelation of who Jesus is, and hungry hearts responded who wanted to know God and live in his life. There was no recruitment campaign and no strategy to manage people through a hierarchical system. They lived as a family and grew to discover how they could embrace his life together and live transformed in the culture.

I actually think when we try to ‘start something’, we’ve already made a step away from his reality. It’s not that God won’t go with us and that our efforts won’t be fruitful at some level, but they will never help people discover the depth of relationship and transformation that comes from a relationship with him. Unfortunately, for many, the thing we start will be come their substitute for knowing God themselves.

Somehow we have to think differently—that our calling is not to build the church, but to present an authentic demonstration of the Gospel in how we live and what we say. Then, we take the time to equip those who want to know him, how to live in a relationship with him. As a pool of people discover how to live loved and love, then the church can take on a variety of forms and expressions in various times and seasons.

Our focus will remain on him and what he’s doing in the world, rather than sustaining our institution, be it in a building or a home. Then we have a shot at the church of Jesus Christ being known in the world as a people who are being transformed by him.

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Starvation in Kenya

We have recently been informed by the brothers and sister in Kenya that an entire portion of their country is starving due to failed rains over the past three years. The price for corn has gone through the roof and they wanted to know if any of us could help. I received this last week:

Surely, my brother, many people are dying, especial some parts of Kenya, like Westpokot, and some parts like Mt. Elgon as well as throughout the country. Almost everywhere people were affected but the Lord will help us to serve them. The Kitale area it was depended for (food), but due to the last damage its now the area where more people are affected and the price of maize as raised up to three thousand shillings per sack. Even now at my home I am hosting other big families including their children who are running for refuge. Most affected are children and women. so your support in this point now is more helpful to rescue also the lives of brothers and sisters. Every day as we open our office in town there are more widows and those who are affected with HIV are coming to receive something to eat. The families here are trying, so continue praying and standing with us for this time again. Our churches are contributing but they are also affected. So we appreciate for your heart of compassion, so as God gives you with the brothers there it will be a great help. Thank you so much, thank you for your great heart.

I have been corresponding with these brothers and sisters over the last couple of years and God is doing a good work in them and through them. If you have some extra and God puts it on your heart to help them, please go to our Invoice Page and click on the ‘Pay Invoice’ button. You can then list “Donation for Kenya” and the amount you’d like to give. If you use the ‘Donation’ button you will need to also send me an email letting me know you wanted this to go for Kenya and not for Lifestream. All donations to this cause are tax deductible. Or, if you prefer, you can also send a check to Lifestream • 1560-1 Newbury Rd #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320.

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Bait and Switch

By Wayne Jacobsen
BodyLife • May 2009

Trading the Vibrant Life of Jesus for a Ritualistic Religion Called Christianity.

I saw the sign a year ago in Georgia: Live Free for Three Months. It was a developer’s marketing strategy for a declining housing market. When I saw it, however, I wasn’t thinking about houses. I thought about Christianity and how we invite people to live free in Christ and then soon after saddle them with all the obligations of being a “good Christian”. We generally don’t even let them have three months.

When the early believers were first called Christians, we don’t know if it was a complement or a mockery. We do know that they didn’t invent the term for themselves. The culture called them “little christs” because they had found so much identity in following Jesus. Whatever spawned the term, those early believers adopted it for themselves and for 2,000 years it has been the dominant identifier for those who claim to follow Christ. But that might be changing.

Recent surveys show even believers are becoming uncomfortable with the term. At least in the United States it is increasingly used not for people who reflect the passion of Jesus in a broken world, but for adherents of a religion that has been built on a distortion of the life and teaching of Jesus, not necessarily it’s reality. The results can be confusing.

“Are you a Christian?” I used to love it when someone on a plane asked me that question. “Absolutely,” I’d answer, proud to be on the side of all that’s good and right in the world. But over the last fifteen years, answering that question has become far more difficult. Much of what has been done in recent years in the name of Christianity embarrasses me and disfigures the God I love. Some of it even horrifies me.

So now when I’m asked the question today, I hedge a bit. “It depends on what you mean by ‘Christian’,” I often respond. If they are asking whether or not I am a faithful adherent of the religion called Christianity, I have to confess that I’m not. I’m not even trying to be. But if they are asking me if I am a passionate follower of Jesus, the answer would be an enthusiastic yes.

In a few short years those realities have diverged significantly. Perhaps there has not been a time since the Middle Ages, where what it means to be a good Christian and what it means to thrive in a relationship with God, couldn’t be more at odds. You can do everything required of a ‘good Christian’ in our day and still miss out on what it means to know him and be involved in a meaningful relationship with him that transforms you to love as he loved.

How many people endure repetitive rituals certain that doing so endears them to God? How many embrace a slate of ethical rules or doctrinal propositions thinking that doing so ensures God’s blessings? Jesus offered us a vibrant life of relationship with his Father, and we ended up creating a religion that often disarms that very Gospel of its glory.

“These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.” (Mark 7:6-7) These words are as true for us today as when Jesus voiced them to the religious captives in his. His warnings in Matthew 23 about the pitfalls of religion, are more applicable in our day than they were in his. When is the last time you heard a sermon from that text? Read it. You’ll know why.

Something Is Broken

For the last few months I’ve done numerous radio interviews for people concerned about what’s being called the collapse of Christianity. Newsweek did a cover article in April about the collapse of Christianity’s influence in America and that fewer people identify themselves as Christian or are a committed part of a local congregation.

There’s a lot of handwringing going on about those statistics, most of them blaming the culture. But the problems in religion itself have never been greater. Conservative Christianity aligned itself with a political agenda and a party that turned out to be as corrupt as it blamed the other party for being. More and more believers I know are embarrassed at the anger and arrogance of many so-called leaders who speak to the press on behalf of Christianity. So it’s no wonder to me that last year 4000 churches closed in America, 1700 pastors left the ministry each month and another 1300 pastors were terminated by their church, many without cause, and over 3500 people per day left their church last year.

Clearly we have a problem that cannot be blamed on the secularization of our culture. The kingdom is no longer a pearl of great price, and knowing Jesus is no longer the fruit of our religious activities. And people who are beginning to see that, are often marginalized as rebellious or unsubmitted for simply wanting what Jesus promised them.

Many people giving up on local institutions are not doing so because they’ve rejected Jesus, but finding that the culture of Christianity is actually diminishing their faith not enhancing it. In an email I got the other day, from a frustrated pastor trying to help people follow Jesus, and is just coming to realize that his own job may be at odds with his greatest passion. “Church has become a hindrance to building relationships and loving others.”

He’s not alone. Many of us came to faith enamored by the life and teachings of Jesus. We were promised a relationship with God but were handed a religion of doctrines we had to believe, rituals we had to observe, obligations we had to meet and a standard of morality to adopt. While most of those were true enough, many found that their attempts to follow them did not produce either the life of Jesus it promised, nor the reality of true, caring communities of faith.

We have traded the simple power of the Gospel for a religion based on human effort. We were invited to relationship and ended up with a host of irrelevant dogma and burdensome obligations. Fortunately people from all over the world are waking up to a fresh hunger to shed the dictates of religion and embrace the wonder and power of a love-filled relationship with the living God.

Was Christianity Ever Meant to Be a Religion?

I guess all of this begs the question, did Jesus intend to start a religion called Christianity, or did we do this to ourselves? I suspect the latter. I am wholeheartedly convinced that he came to end all religions, not by lashing out against them, but by filling up in the human spirit what religion promises to fill but never can. Religion seeks to manipulate human effort to earn God’s approval, when such approval can never be earned.

Abraham, a Jewish man, lead the tour portion of a trip to Israel I was on fifteen years ago. Some of those on the tour had been rude to his faith as they tried to “help” him embrace Jesus as the Messiah. On the last morning, I found him alone by the bus and had the chance to ask him if he’d been offended by some of the remarks.

He smiled. He told me he’d been guiding tours for 30 years and someone is always trying to convert him to their faith–Christians, Reformed Jews, Muslims and Mormons. Then he asked me, “Do you know why it makes no difference to me?”

I shook my head. He led me out to the street and pointed at a building, “Do you see that synagogue with the star of David? That’s our building. The one over there with the cross on it is yours. Further down, do you see the dome? That’s theirs. On the surface they may look different, but underneath they are all basically the same. You would think that if one of us was serving the Living God, it would look differently.”

I still remember how much his words impacted me. Religion is the same all over the world. It is a prescribed set of doctrine, rules, rituals, and ethics. It celebrates sacred space, exalts holy-men as gurus and tries to muscle its way into the culture. For 2000 years many have practiced Christianity as a religion, essentially no different than the others, except in who it claims to follow. But if one of us was serving a Living God, wouldn’t it look very different?

When we cram the life of God into a box, we rob it of its life and power and only distinguish it from other religions by claiming a more truthful doctrine. Could that be why Jesus didn’t teach his disciples how to gain a following or build institutions. He didn’t teach them how to meet on Sunday mornings at 10:00 with a worship band and a leader to lecture the others. He didn’t give them a prescribed set of behaviors that people were suppose to follow as the means to serve God.

No, he invited them into his Father’s house, and a reality of relationship with his Father that would transform them and opened the way for them to share that love with others. That you can’t put into a religion and trying to only chokes out any hope of relationship. Putting creed and doctrine above a growing friendship with him supplants the reality he offered us, no matter how correct our doctrine or moral our ethics.

Don’t get me wrong. Truth is vital, as is righteousness, but without love they are also empty. Learning to live as a beloved child is far more transforming than the greatest principle you can follow. The life of Christian community isn’t found by sharing religion together, but by embracing a journey of growing relationship with him that transforms us by his grace and power.

Losing Your Religion

What does this mean for us? Should we stop calling ourselves Christian or judge those who do? Should we come up with a new term to franchise so we could separate the ones who live it relationally from the ones who are caught up in religion? If we did, we’d only be making the same mistakes that have diminished our life in Jesus over the centuries.

The truth is that Christianity as a religion is a dangerous disfigurement of the God of the Bible. But not all who call themselves Christians live religiously. Given all the excesses and failures of Christianity, I am delightfully grateful that the Gospel of Jesus is still relatively intact inside its doctrine. Unfortunately it only lets new believers live free for so long before burdening them with religious obligations.

And I meet many believers and leaders who have a profound faith and are seeking healthy ways to communicate that journey with others. I rejoice in that, as I do the amount of compassionate aid that such groups share with the world in need. But too many people miss out on the life Jesus offered them by practicing it as a religion instead of growing to know him.

Ultimately the transformation from practicing religion to living inside a relationship with God is not an institutional battle; it is a personal one. We could tear apart all of our religious institutions today and nothing would change. I’ve been in many a house church filled with people who see the institutional church as the problem and are oblivious to the fact that they’ve just moved their religion into a home, where close fellowship only makes it more oppressive.

So how do we know if you’ve been tricked into religion?

  •   When God is a distant concept to you instead of a real presence.
  •   When you find yourself following another man, woman, or a set of principles instead of following Jesus.
  •   When fear of eternity, not measuring up, or falling into error drives your actions.
  •   When you find yourself in empty rituals that do not connect you in a real way to him.
  •   When you are burdened by the expectations of others and feel guilty when you can’t do enough.
  •   When you look at others who struggle with contempt instead of compassion.
  •   When the approval of others means more to you than remaining in the reality of his love.
  •   When you hesitate to be honest about your doubts or struggles because others will judge you.
  •   When you think of holiness as an unachievable duty, rather than aglorious invitation.
  •   When you think righteousness depends on your efforts instead of his grace working in you.
  •   When following him is more about obligation than affection.
  •   When correcting someone’s doctrine is more important than loving them.
  •   When God seems more present on Sunday morning, than he does on Monday.

If you have only known Christianity to be a set of doctrines, rules and rituals, I have great news. Jesus came and died to open up access between you and his Father. Religion supplants that, distracting us with discipline, commitment and hard work that never yields the fruit it promises. If you’ve been worn out by religion, don’t think you’re alone. Others are just pretending, afraid they are the only ones, too. Life is only found in him.

Switching Back

There’s something about our flesh that craves the illusion of safety that religion affords. Anyone of us can find our heart easily turned toward following rules instead of engaging him. When we recognize that happening, we can simply turn our hearts back to him and choose to move away from the religious traps and connect once again with God as our Father.

Living the Gospel means we live in his love. We come to know the Father’s love for us and then sharing that love with him, and with others he puts in our path. (John 13:34-35). No other motive will suffice; no other is necessary. This is where the journey begins and this is the only place it can continue.

Returning to our first love isn’t as difficult as we like to make it. For me it just means finding a quiet place and talking to God. When you find yourself caught in religion, tell him you’re tired of chasing a religion that isn’t working and you want to know him as he really is. Then, wake up each day with a similar prayer on your heart. Watch how he makes himself known to you in the simple reality of living each day. Follow the nudges he puts on your heart instead of the obligations and rituals. Find others who are on this journey and find ways to share the reality of a growing relationship and help guard our hearts about following into empty religious practices.

If you’ve been steeped in religion for a long time, you’ll find yourself going through a very disorienting time. One woman I met called it a Pharisectomy, which is simply having your inner Pharisee removed. You might feel guilty, lonely, lost, or fearful in the process. Your former religious friends may feel threatened that you’re no longer doing the things they do. But in time you’ll find yourself sliding into the reality of relationship with him that is as increasingly real, transformative and engaging.

Among It, Not of It

So let’s not go to war with religion, railing against its failures fighting against its dictates. Instead let’s do what Jesus did–let’s live beyond it. Let’s find a reality of freedom and authenticity in him that can walk alongside anyone with patience and gentleness. Religion is what people crave when they haven’t found life in him. Taking their religion away won’t fix that. The only thing that will is helping them see a reality of relationship with God that makes all our religious activity unnecessary and unattractive. Jesus could be in religious settings and not be captured by them. He could care about a Pharisee as much as a prostitute.

Live among religion if he asks you to, loving toward those mired in it but you never have to be of it. The Gospel opens the door for us to re-engage the transcendent God, to know him as our Abba and to walk with him through the twists and turns of life, sharing his affection with others.

Live in the reality of that relationship and you’ll find it quite naturally finding expression through you as you love and treat others the same way God treats you. People who refuse to live to fear, conform to ritual or put doctrine above love will find themselves having ample opportunity to help others on this journey as well. A dear friend wrote me recently who was feeling a bit swamped by all the people seeking out his help these days, “You didn’t say anything about being safe is like hanging up a “counseling available” shingle.”

We live in a great day. The emptiness of tradition is being seen for what it is and people are hungering for the reality of relationship. Live there each day and there’s no telling where that will take you or who you’ll end up walking alongside as Jesus becomes your life.

Then you can live free, not just for a few days or even three months. He came to set you free eternally!


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New BodyLife Posted

What a crazy weekend! Friday we had a Canadian family come visit and during dinner were hit with a 4.5 magnitude earthquake centered only eight miles away. It was a small jot, but a great amusement park ride without the amusement park hassles. Saturday I put up a new hammock in the backyard and got to share it with my granddaughters whom we were babysitting that night. Then on Sunday we spent a few hours with three new couples who drove 90 miles to come and talk about the journey and what God had been revealing to them. It was real, honest, open sharing. I love that stuff.

I also finished up the next edition of BodyLife. We haven’t had a new one since last June because of my busyness, but hopefully we can get on a better track there. Who knows. The lead article is titled Bait And Switch: Trading the Vibrant Life of Jesus for a Ritualistic Religion Called Christianity.

In addition there is a brief review about a new book on parenting that I’ve been pushing all over the place as well as some wonderful letters from people on this journey, the latest news about Lifestream and my journey as well as an updated travel schedule.

We hope this issue encourages you to keep to the journey God has put before you and draw you into his life and grace.

Enjoy!

New BodyLife Posted Read More »

Gracious Uncertainty

I’m back from Indiana and had an awesome time with so many people, I can’t keep them all straight. The first two days I hung out with some folks who are living a bit outside the box. The last two I was interviewed about So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore by a pastor and then did two evening question/answer sessions in a theater about The Shack and helping people live in Father’s love. Monday I spent the morning at Anderson University with some of the faculty, staff and students and even spoke in a Human Sexuality Class. How weird is that? Then Monday night about fifty of us were in a home for another question/answer session from He Loves Me and So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. I met some wonderfully awesome people this weekend and am blessed to have been able to spend time with so many people at so many different places in their spiritual journey.

Such are the adventures of living in the freedom of God’s unfolding purpose. You never know where you might end up. When I travel I usually let the people who invite me plan whatever they want. I’m happy to fit in anywhere people want to explore what a life lived love looks like. (That’s a lot of ‘ls’.) And I find that God does things I’d never think to plan or suggest. And when I remember the kind of person I used to be, I can’t believe I can live in that space now with such freedom. It truly is a work of grace.

Two people over the last two days have sent me today’s reading from Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest. I used to read that every day for years, but haven’t it a while. I love how relationally he thought about God. This reading expresses well what I see God want to set us free in. Our flesh wants to live in the false certainty of our plans and schemes. God invites us on an adventure where he is our certainty, not our schedules.

Our natural inclination is to be so precise— trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next— that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, “Well, what if I were in that circumstance?” We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God — it is only believing our belief about Him. Jesus said, “. . . unless you . . . become as little children . . .” (Matthew 18:3 ). The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1 ), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in— but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.

A college student asked me Sunday night how someone could know what their calling is. I had answered that the best way to know our calling is to simply wake up every day in the love of the Father, and then let that love spill out of us through the day as we respond to the opportunities that cross our paths. Eventually we’ll find ourselves smack in the middle of what gives him and us so much pleasure. We mostly know our calling by looking back and seeing how God has fulfilled himself in us, rather than figuring it out in advance and setting a strategy to get there.

At least that has been true for me. I’ve taken to telling people now the surest way for me not to be where God wants me six months from now is for him to tell me. If he does, I’ll try to get there by my own strength and reasoning, and what results is way too man-made. But if I just follow him today, and wake up tomorrow and follow him again, six months from now I’ll be exactly where he wants me to be on this journey. I love that!

Gracious Uncertainty Read More »

L-Cubed

I love how God deals with people on the journey and the different experiences have in learning to Live Loved. I think you’ll enjoy this one. I met this man and his wife last month, and he was a relatively new believer, but incredibly passionate for the life of God. Here’s a bit of his story.

I have become an ardent podcast listener the past several weeks, partly because my wife listens first thing on Fridays and shares what she gets from your broadcasts and as Father would have it, the topic seems to have some corollary value to something I have been exposed to. Since your visit I have been blessed to listen to all your previous podcasts dating back to last November.

I have spent the better part of fifteen months persevering in a season that my inner spirit man was subtly nudging me – “this isn’t all there is”… that a church-centric life, even a great church by church wisdom, was still a circle that didn’t get along with the knowledge I had that “its not about the rules, its about the relationship.” I couldn’t hear the simple one and one of it all—to realize my idolatry was my Bible, the church, certain leadership and my deepest wanting to be ‘used” in any capacity by God for His kingdom. All the while, believing if it’s less of me and more of Him, I am successfully positioning myself for His plan. So why, then, was it not working?

Unfortunately, I was living within a duplicitous belief system. On one side I was living in “faith” that God would provide in all areas. The other side, I was focused on what “I had to do” to stay in His grace, mercy and promises. That God is a loving God, but His love is just. (It wasn’t until later on, that I realized if God is always referenced as God, and not daddy, papa or father, then any type of real relationship is doomed). And so I steadfastly pursued this “journey” called dying of myself so to receive God’s promises.

When your podcasts were reintroduced to me late last year through my wife, my inner Spirit man finally had a voice to his nudging. And in what can only be called an amazing whirlwind of life, my once unseen shackles to religion, religiosity, and all things idol were cast off. I didn’t have to spend hours, days or weeks fasting or repenting to have this revelation. I didn’t have to tithe or abruptly alter my lifestyle. I didn’t have to be miserable or homeless. Simply open to a Life Lived Loved… and hence, I have used your mantra of a life lived loved or “L-Cubed”, for nearly every conversation I have had. It is a wondrous moment to behold when Father takes such a simple line and moves mountains in another right in front of you.

Why is it still amazing to us, when the simplest of messages become the most profound? There are no deep philosophical or theological debates needed. No perpetual diatribe on the whys and hows of God sending His Son to take care of my sinful self. And instead, is a LOVE, PEACE and POWER that only Father in heaven can manifest in and through His children.

What I have come to fully understand is that I can break completely away from the standards of measurement both Christians and the lost have come to rely so heavily upon and simply focus on a journey that has no specific outcome or finish line while I am in this body.

That consumes any need to be right or in control, especially with my wife. I recently shared with a group of men that the greatest assessment a husband can share is: “ My wife is growing in and with her Father —joyfully!” What is in place in me so that this can take place signifies a freedom in Christ.

I love the way God opens eyes and invites us further in. I hope his journey encourages your own. L-cubed: Life Live Loved! I like that.

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Grace-Based Parenting

One of the most-asked questions I get as I travel around is, “How do we raise our children in this new life of grace?” I often found myself lamenting the fact that I didn’t have a resource to recommend for people. Well now I do! I have found the best book on parenting I’ve ever read that blends freedom and grace with discipline and growth. It’s called Loving Our Kid’s on Purpose By Danny Silk. I have not read a book in the last two years that I would recommend with more enthusiasm than this one. Not only will it give you a framework to deal with your own children, it will also help you understand the process by which Jesus deals with us. It’s a real two-fer—grace without permissiveness, for children as well as adults!

Honestly, I’m confident the reason why so many people have a difficult time embracing God’s grace is that it feels too permissive to them. We know that grace is the polar opposite to the performance-based conformity models of child-rearing that we’ve learned in our homes, schools, and religious structures. I’ve been asked countless times, “So God just loves us while we do whatever we want?”

People who think such things, don’t yet understand God or grace. Fear and intimidation only work so long, but never transform the human heart. That only comes through choice. Grace is not a permission slip to go destroy yourself. Grace opens the door to know God. And you can’t know God without wanting to be like him. There is no permissiveness in grace—just freedom. That freedom opens the door to an amazing work of transformation God does as we follow him. And if you don’t get that, he will still love you. But like the prodigal son, eventually the destructive consequences of living with you at the center will eventually overwhelm you. Grace opens a door to relationship, it doesn’t negate our destructive choices. If you want to understand this process better, go out and get a copy of Loving Our Kids on Purpose. You won’t regret it. And if you have young children you want to parent with God’s heart, so much the better.

A young mother with two children from South Carolina first put the book on my radar screen. She wrote:

At first I was hesitant because Christian parenting books and I have never gotten along very well, and it’s been so nice to not be living under shame, rules and condemnation — and they tend to heap those on me in spades (rather, I heap it on). But this book has been very different. It illustrates how we can relate to our children in the way that the Father relates to us — out of a heart of love and patience and freedom without spirits of fear and control, yet not being permissive parents — still being our kids’ guides and teachers. It’s not a book of strict how-to’s or magic formulas. They’re just very simple, fundamental principles that jive with the glimpses of the Father’s heart that we’ve seen the last few years.

It’s not a silver bullet by any means because it’s not going to be an overnight change and things will never be perfect because there are four very human beings in the house who make selfish choices every five minutes. But I do believe the overall tone of our home can change and that the girls will then see Jesus modeled in us and come to understand the true nature of the Father’s heart. The first step in walking this out will be self-control on our parts — not reacting out of selfish anger, taking time to think through situations before we act, and intentionally choosing to allow love and respect to dictate our attitudes. That won’t exactly be easy because we’ve nurtured some bad habits, but hopefully as we make the right choice more often, the right seeds will grow in our hearts. The next step will be extending to them the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them without shame and condemnation, being there for them as they experience the consequences of their decisions. In the end, it’s really about treating them the way we want others to treat us and the way God does treat us.

She’s dead on! I talked my daughter into buying the book and then read her copy two nights ago. I laughed. I wanted to shout AMEN on just about every page. I could easily have slipped the best moments of our parenting into his illustrations, even though I didn’t know why those moments felt so right at the time. And I lamented those things that I’d done that only sought to win their conformity to my rules with fear and intimidation. This is parenting that puts the heart to heart connection with your child above anything else and out of that instills in them a culture of respect, good decision-making and consequences for their own choices. This is parenting with a sense of humor, not anger. It offers the ability to motivate kids without alienating them, and loving them without giving-in to their baser instincts.

Let me share with you some excerpts from the book:

This book will show you that the goal of obedience and compliance is an inferior goal. It can actually be detrimental to both your children’s development of personal responsibility and their perception of God as Father. Although obedience is an important part of our relationship with our children, it is not the most important quality. If we fail to take care of the most important matters first, what we build on top of our foundation will not support what we are hoping to accomplish as parents….

There is a huge difference between a culture where obedience and compliance are the bottom line and a culture where relationship is the bottom line.

In order to train our children in love, our behavior as parents must reduce fear, not increase fiear. When happens when you go toe-to-toe with one of your kids? What happens when one of your kids does not want to obey? What do you do when your child lies in your face? What is your response when your child gives you something ugly like disrespect? …As much as love casts out the fear, fear will cast out love. Love and fear are enemies. They are completely different sources. Love is from God , and His enemy produces fear. We need some methods, tools and skills to respond to ur child’s sin in such a way that we create love, not fear.

And what’s more this grace-based parenting works with children of all ages—from our youngest toddlers to our adult children. It offers hope to restore that heart connection where it has gotten lost to our power-based conformity tactics with older kids. And what I like most is that while this book is incredibly practical, Danny doesn’t give how-to formulas for every situation. Instead he gives us a very simple framework in which to consider our possible actions and the opportunity to look to the Holy Spirit for direction as we work through the daily realities with our own children.

If you want to understand how God’s discipline functions in your own life and how that can change the way you parent, go get a copy of this book! Devour it. You won’t regret it!

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A Glimpse Into Eternity

You’d have to be fully off the grid, not to have heard of Susan Boyle, the 47 year-old woman who recently shocked the audience and judges of Britain’s Got Talent with the most incredible performance of The Dream I Dreamed from Les Miserables. It was featured on news shows throughout the U.S. and as of today the You Tube video has as of this morning been viewed over 12 million times.

It may be impossible to watch that video and not be deeply moved. There are lots of factors to that. If you want to read her back story, you can do so here. It’s great TV—the context, the diminished expectations, the surprise or an incredible voice and the passion behind her song. But I can’t help but wonder if there isn’t something more. If you haven’t listened to the lyrics, listen carefully. This is the story of a young dream that life destroyed and the attempt to still find God in the disappointment. Here’s just a few lines:

And still I dream he’ll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather…

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed The dream I dreamed.

Part of the reason this is so powerful is not just her voice, but that her life seems a very parable of the song she sings. She had a dream to be a famous singer that had not be realized before last week, at 47 years of age. She’s not alone. A lot of very creative people live with similar disappointed dreams, and most won’t get this kind of break, even at 47.

Every child grows up with dreams, and the twists and turns of life often crush them. Sometimes that’s because they’ve been so abused and diminished that their spirit is crushed. Sometimes it’s simply that they don’t have the right look, or lived in the right place or had the right opportunity. But I suspect for many it’s because our dreams weren’t so much about the gift that was in us, but how rich, influential or famous we wanted that gift to make us. For every person that becomes a pro athlete, hundreds of thousands more get left in the dust. For every one who wins a gold medal, writes a best-seller, or cuts a platinum album, hundreds of thousands of others live like failures because they didn’t.

If our dreams hinge on the response of others, opportunities in this world are slim. By definition only a narrow few will end up playing professional sports, becoming a singing sensation or a best-selling author. If success only comes by being in the brightest spotlights, most of our dreams will be dashed as well. As I watched it for the fifth or sixth time last night, I couldn’t help but wonder if we’re not so deeply moved by the performance of this incredible woman because through her we are getting a glimpse into eternity. It’s not the crowd or the lights that make her performance noteworthy, but the fact that she is simply doing in the thrill of the moment what God created her to do.

In our twisted perceptions of the 21st Century, it is easy to think this talent wasted since she never got this chance until she was 47. But does the stage validate the gift? Was she, or her music, any less moving or less valuable when she sang to herself in the kitchen or in local gatherings in her village? Was it less moving to the kind of God who splashes wildflowers across mountainsides no human will ever see? Most of the best gifts I know in this life will never gather the spotlight, or wow the masses. I’m not sure God ever intended them to. Perhaps even the unrelenting attempt to find a mass audience or a bright enough spotlight so easily distorts the dream, or the gift, or the person as well. We all know how the realities of competition and glare of celebrity does more to ruin people than it does make them more whole or well-grounded.

When we finally arrive in eternity, no longer tethered by our false expectations, no longer competing against others with similar gifts, no longer measuring our worth by the false demands of a broken culture, we will all get to celebrate the full beauty of exactly what the Creator sowed in our lives. And I suspect we’ll celebrate it in each other, perhaps like we see it in Susan Boyle, and in doing so it will touch the deepest joys and ecstasies of our heart. And the Father will thrill right along with us.

I know the reality of disappointed dreams, as I coveted a mass influence through my writing from a very young age. It tortured me. The desire was a tyranny all its own, and God won it from my hands almost 15 years ago. For the first time I found myself for the first time content to write for the love of God and let him do with it what he will with the result. I found absolute joy in simply writing what was on my heart and making it available on a website. And I was blessed by each life it touched in the gentle obscurity of God taking it to those he wanted.

And now I know what it is to be involved with a best-seller over the last year and I’d be less than honest if I told you it was all the joy I dreamed it would be when I coveted it so long ago. Notoriety brings a different set of pressures and a different kind of audience, and it is now harder to do what God has asked me to do in the shadow of what the world calls success than it was before. I find more joy in helping one life find freedom than I have in perusing a best-seller lists. And now, I hardly write since my days are full of obligations and responsibilities far afield from that which God originally asked of me. Over the next few months I’ll be moving away from this space back to where Jesus has asked me to walk.

So here’s what I’m thinking as I watch that video: Isn’t it enough that all of us ply our creativity, gifts and dreams for an audience of One. It is enough that God hears us sing, that God reads what we write and that the truest joys are not doing it professionally, if we lack the opportunity, but doing it as hobby, sport and passion. Saying someone is an amateur has become a put-down today. But the root of that French word is people who do what they do for the love of it, not for money or the light of the stage.

And while I understand those who would love to see their passion find a greater voice and place in the culture, it is not failure for God’s grace in you to touch the people he has put before you, rather than the unknown masses. Your story is not validated because it spawns a book; your song is not more precious because it secures a recording contract. So sing, write, paint, plant, nurture, design, act, and build however it brings joy to your heart. And let God open whatever doors he has for it. Knock where you will, search as you have direction, but don’t despise the audience God has already given you—your children or spouse, friends and family, and local opportunities to touch lives in tens and twenties, rather than frustratingly trying to find a path to the thousands.

And I wonder if some of the dreams we carry in our heart, were never meant to find their fulfillment in this life. Perhaps they, too, are portals to a different age and time. Maybe they are a glimpse into that unrestrained eternity that will allow us all to be fully all that God created us to be. I’m convinced our greatest creativity and ecstasy lies beyond this temporal time zone.

And one day we will all know the absolute thrill of doing in freedom and joy the very thing God made us to do—that gives him and us the fullest of joys.

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