Wayne Jacobsen

Fourteen times in the New Testament we are encouraged to encourage one another. Honestly, I think it is one of the most awesome gifts you can give someone. It doesn’t cost anything, except a bit of space in your life to think about them and what you might say or do that would lighten their load or brighten their day. Though the dictionary defines ‘encourage’ as “to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence or to stimulate by assistance, approval, etc.”, I think of it simply as putting courage into someone else’s heart.

That takes on added meaning reading some of Dr. Brown’s material that I referred to last week. What people need most in the midst of vulnerability, shame, and uncertainty is to have the courage to be authentically who they are today and know that is enough. I would add that this courage comes best from knowing that we are loved, that God is not distant from us in our pain or brokenness, and that he will work all things out for good no matter what we face.

Encouraging someone is to give them a gift of word or act that helps them have more courage to face what they are facing. You encourage people not by giving them advice about what they should do, nor by pushing them to do what we think best, nor by flattering them with untrue statements, nor by manipulating their behavior to act better. Encouragement does something so much better. It opens their eyes to a greater reality and sets their heart at rest in their unfolding journey

What prompted this thought today? Two things, actually! Last week I received an email from a woman I had met briefly in Germany before one of my teaching times. Just before I got up we had sung the chorus,”There Is None Like You,” addressed to God, course. The thought that hit me while we were singing, is that while this is definitely true of God, do we ever think that God would say such things to us. It’s what I say to Sara, my kids and grandkids, and even to friends. “There is none like you. No one else can touch my heart like you do.”

So when I got up I began to share that and even turned to this woman I’d just met, whose name came back to mind, pointed at her and said, “What if you knew Father was saying to you today, there is none like you?” Unbeknownst to me she had been go through a rough season and was hurt and confused because they had been thrown out of their “church” for asking the wrong questions. This is what she wrote me:

When you said to me, “There is no one like you!”, Father spoke that right into my heart and he kept on speaking to me that he knows my heart and that I shouldnt be bothered be what the church leaders said about me. He made me the way I am and he wanted me that way, and he has put the desires in my heart, that they didn’t like. The message you are sharing, Wayne, is the same message God has put on my heart, and I´m willing to spend the rest of my life to proclaim who God really is, how much he loves us, and how much he wants to heals our hearts! I wanted to let you know how much you blessed me that weekend. God took all pain and confusion and my feeling depressed away…and I´m happy again and know what I´m living for!

I love when God does things through something I’m doing and I’m not even aware of it. To think that little phrase spoken directly to this woman would unleash such a well of God’s light and courage into her heart, blows me away with how big this God is, and how much our words can give someone else courage to continue on the path God has for them. No wonder Scripture reminds us to “Encourage each other daily.” What a gift! And it doesn’t take much. Sometimes it an be an off-the-cuff comment like mine, and sometimes it comes from just holding someone in God’s presence and thinking about what God might be saying to that person to invite them in to a greater confidence in Father’s love for them.

The second reason this came to mind this morning is that while I was preparing Sara’s prescriptions and breakfast this morning, I thought how wonderful it would be for Sara to receive some encourage notes today. She’s been through quite a weekend, and now three days after surgery is where the real work of recovery sets in and she realizes it’s going to take some time away from all the things she normally loves to do. And all of this has come at her in a time where she’s already pretty vulnerable from the surgeries Father has been doing in her heart, that we talked about on the podcast a few weeks ago.

So I would love it if some of you had it on your heart to day to share some things with Sara that you think Father might be saying to her. You can post some of that here on the blog, or on the FaceBook posting, if it pointed you here. I’ll read them to her throughout the day. Or, if you want to address something to her more personally you can write hear at the office email. I’m somewhat hesitant to do that, thinking Sara we might be overwhelmed with comments and postings, and also knowing there are millions of people in situations like hers and worse that may not get any encouragement today.

So, here’s what I thought of. If you’d like to send something to encourage Sara today, please do, especially if you know her. And then maybe you could let God show you someone else near you who needs encouragement today. You could send either the same encouragement to them, or even something different that’s on your heart. And then, why stop with one! Who around you can use some courage, and what might you simply say that could be a turning point for them today. Then do it. Send a email, or leave a note for your spouse or co-worker. Call someone up just to say, “I’ve been thinking about you and just wanted you to know that Father…”

Filling the world with encouragement today, might ripple through the cosmos in ways we’ll never fully appreciate in this life. But that would only make it more fun!

I’m happy to report that Sara is out of surgery and in recovery at the moment. We received so many prayers, encouraging emails, and expressions of love from so many of you. Thank you so much. I spoke to her two surgeons and they both couldn’t be more pleased with how the process went and are hopeful that she will have a smooth recovery. She has to stay overnight in the hospital and gets to go home tomorrow morning! Yeah! I’m going to stay with her tonight because Sara’s family has a long-standing tradition that no one should have to spend the night alone in a hospital. I’m going to honor that tradition and hang out with my Babe! That should be fun since neither of us slept well last night——Sara because she was concerned about surgery, and me because Sara was concerned about surgery and didn’t want to be alone!

Love is not letting someone go through pain alone. I have been often blessed by that definition of love. It started back when I was going through a painful betrayal by a colleague in ministry. One of my best friends dropped out of the fellowship about that time, but suddenly reappeared as the process reached it’s most painful. When I asked him where he’d been, he told me he could see the handwriting on the wall and knew the conflict was coming. Having been through it himself he said he just couldn’t bear watching me go through it. “But you came back,” I said, “for the worst of it.”

“I know,” he answered. “As much as I couldn’t bear to watch you go through it, it was worse to think of you going through it alone.” So cool. That’s what come passion is: “to come to passion”, in the Old English sense——to rush into suffering to help alleviate the pain.

I’ve already hired to grandgirls to do dog-sitting for us tonight so Sara won’t worry about them either!

Before I share with you something we read last night, I want to take time to share some personal notes. Tomorrow morning Sara is having major surgery. For reasons of privacy we’re not sharing the details of that surgery, but it is not life-threatening and it does not involve cancer. It will, however, take significant time for her to recover and I will be her caregiver during that time. So, if these pages are quiet for a few weeks, I hope you understand and keep Sara in your prayers as Father might lead you.

Two nights ago we were sitting on our floor putting together our last mail-out newsletter, “Living Loved”. From now on we’re only going to release it on-line. I had not been around to help with one for some time and as I put labels on I saw names of people that I had visited years ago, or had significant contact with during a certain period. Some I now haven’t heard from in some time and it warmed me with joy to recount so many wonderful people God has allowed me to know over the years, and it made me a bit sad that I’m not up to date on the lives of many of them. It was a bittersweet evening. And, for those who are anxious, we’ll be releasing this latest edition early next week.

But this is what I wanted to share today. Sara and I are currently reading together Dr. Brené Brown’s latest book, Daring Greatly I’ve talked about her on some podcasts and previous posts. She’s a gifted communicator as you can see from her Ted Talks on
The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame. Our favorite of her books, however is still The Gifts of Imperfection, though this one is wildly popular. I’ll warn you, Dr. Brown writes and speaks to a secular audience. Though she is a sister in Christ, she does not offer spiritual solutions to the issues of shame she diagnoses so incisively. I think she gets that, it’s just not the audience she is writing to.

But her observations about the need of the human heart for real and deep connection and how shame sabotages our attempts to find it, are incredible. Born out of decades of research she has documented the most significant result of the Fall, and that is our being lost in shame. Though her guidance and exercises can be helpful for some, I don’t think we ever rid ourselves of shame by human effort alone. Only an engagement with Jesus’ work on the cross and accepting his love for us can finally set us free from the shame that so twists our lives.

I wanted to share with you something we read last night, that we have both faced in our lives, though thankfully not with each other. It was about those who destroy relationships through betrayal, as she answers her own question, “What’s the worst betrayal of trust?” Surprisingly it’s not the overt acts of lying, adultery, or cheating we usually think about. For those to happen, something more insidious takes place first.

This betrayal usually happens long before the other ones. I’m talking about the betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship. The word betrayal evokes experiences of cheating, lying, breaking a confidence, failing to defend us to someone else who’s gossiping about us, and not choosing us over other people. These behaviors are certainly betrayals, but they’re not the only form of betrayal. If I had to choose the form of betrayal that emerged most frequently from my research and that was the most dangerous in terms of corroding the trust connection, I would would say disengagement.

When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing and fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears – the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie or an affair is that we can’t point to the source of our pain – there’s no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness. It can feel crazy-making.

God made us for deep, vital connections with other people of growing trust. Some of our greatest joys spring out of those relationships. And that’s why betrayal is such a brutal repudiation of God’s life. To discard a relationship simply because it no longer serves your interests demonstrates just how far the human heart can wonder from God. As I read this section to Sara last night, however, I couldn’t help but wonder how much this falls under the chicken-and-egg question. Do people betray because the let the relationship grow distant, or did they let the relationship grow distant so they could act without regard to the feelings of another? The latter is often true. It’s difficult to stab a friend in the back, so you have to make them your enemy first.

In a broken world, betrayal will happen. They did to Jesus. But that didn’t stop him from being faithful when others were faithless. It didn’t stop him from loving out of the deepest place, even when he knew others didn’t have the capacity to return it. One of the greatest fruits of living in that kind of love is the unmitigated desire to pass that along to others——to become trustworthy in relationships and fight for them however you can, even if others have give up.

That’s what I see my Father doing. And I am so grateful.

At left is the cover for In Season: Embracing the Father’s Process of Fruitfulness that has just been published in Germany. I got to see some of the first copies when I was there a few weeks ago. You can order them from Glory World Medien.

I continue to be blessed by the people who have read the English version of this book and let me know that it has helped them more freely relax into the process by which God transforms them, rather than trying to change themselves for God. It is so important that we see fruitfulness as a process that God gives birth to in us, rather than trying to do our best for God and end up frustrated when his fruit does not appear. (There are also a number of new articles from Living Loved that have been translated into German. You can find them on our International Page.)

Maybe this is a good time to remind those of you who want to order any of our books, audio, or videos for Christmas gifts, the time is now. Shipping does take longer in this season. And, if you’d like, I’d be happy to sign any of the books to your friends and family. Just include a note with your order and we’ll take care of it. And if you’re still looking for that gift idea for someone, there are lots of things to choose from. You can find all our products here.

We continue to get incredible email from people enjoying our DVD series: The Jesus Lens. I received this one just a few minutes ago:

I have been treasuring “The Jesus Lens”! Long story short – have felt guilty for not teaching our children more “Bible”. But I wasn’t able to even read it without the abusive god issues resurfacing in my head, so I sure didn’t want to teach it to my kids!!! I was hoping that they keep their childlike faith in their loving Abba. “The Jesus Lens” is helping me to see scripture so differently and is so helpful to me. Through it our Father is opening up a whole new world and a way to reconcile the god that I used to read about (in fear – literally) in the Bible, and the Father that I know.

The Jesus Lens can be viewed on-line for free, or ordered as a 3-disc DVD set to share with others.

And if you have not yet read A Man Like No Other, you really have to take a look at it. It makes an incredible gift book of extraordinary paintings and insightful reflections to help someone focus on the life of Jesus without all the religious distortions religion has added to that story.

If one of these men was your hope for America’s future, then your hope was sorely misplaced. And you’re actually in more trouble if your guy won than if he lost. Our hope is never in the ways of or abilities of humanity, but in the unfolding purpose of a gracious Father.

This morning I got this comment on my last blog about the election, and it reflects a lot of anguish I’ve also seen in my emails and in social media from many conservatives.

Wayne, now that the election is over I am in a rough place as I was putting some hope in the goodness of what good is still left in our beautiful America, but now I think I was wrong. l know that my hope is in Father and not men, but I find myself completely cynical about my neighbor. Evil will prevail in this life and I have spent far too much time in hoping I would not witness it consume our country-obviously we are going to watch it happen. I struggle with finding my footing in knowing that Father is in control, having to take the injustice of it all, and knowing that my job is to just continue doing as I have been doing for the past couple of years since Father opened my heart to his will of living loved each day and loving others in that love. I also know that many others have watched injustice happen all around them for a lifetime, and had somehow been able to live a life of joy in the midst of it. I am in need of perspective.

It appears someone is watching too much cable news, or even network news for that matter. The candidates and pundits pitted this election as good versus evil as a way to ramp up votes and ratings by ramping up fear regardless of what side they were on. No one I saw or read gave an honest analysis of what was really going on while treating both sides with respect and honor for their differing views. The tragic result now is that citizens view those who did not vote like them as evil people, not simply people with different perspectives and priorities. Our country is today the poorer for it.

If you want to find rest in God’s unfolding purpose in history, you have to stop watching the news and believing the pundits. You won’t believe how much more clearly you can see when you’re not filling your head with the news channel rhetoric which is destroying the fabric of our culture. God is bigger than Obama or Romney. If your God can’t work his purpose through Obama as much as through Romney, then your God is too small–way too small. Ny goodness, he had his way with Egypt and Pharaoh and Babylon and Nebuchadnezzar, Rome and Herod, even with Pilate.

Maybe the question is do we really want God’s purpose? Because his purpose isn’t always to make life easy and prosperous for us. Sometimes God’s purpose includes hard times for our nations, which would include us as well. No wonder we look for someone to blame. We’re afraid of our own suffering. But the world is doing just what the world does——serving itself, even to its own ruin. And our God is doing what he does, working in that brokenness to offer his light and life to anyone who will listen.

So if you take this election as a reason to fear your neighbor or regard them as evil, then you’ve become a pawn of the political parties and the mass media. That’s what they want you to think so you’ll keep tuning in hoping someone will give your side hope for the future.

If you want hope to grow in your heart, regardless of what America goes through in the next decade you’ve got to tune your heart to a different frequency and listen to Father more than the hostile political rhetoric of a broken age. You’ll want to remember that his purposes are never thwarted, that he works through both triumph and tragedy as he draws people to himself and moves our world toward its ultimate culmination in him. His purpose is to draw all things to himself and the best way to participate with him is to learn to live in his love for those around us–including our neighbors. You can’t love what you fear or what you hold in contempt.

People who disagree politically with you are not stupid or evil and they are not your enemy. This last election proved to me just how out of step I am with my culture, especially in the candidates and propositions in California. I tire of throwing more money at a government system that is corrupt, especially in California where the public-employee unions continue to manipulate the legislature to line their own pockets. But until my fellow-citizens wake up, we’re just going to have more of the same. But are they less lovable because I consider them misguided? Of course not. The consequences of their actions will soon catch up to all of us, and then we’ll see where we go from there.

I don’t mind being out of step with my culture because I consider my participation in God’s kingdom goes way beyond my American citizenship. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot about this country to love, even as we lament that which is wrong with it. And wouldn’t it be best if we spent less time complaining, and spent more doing what we can do to make this world a better place. I hope the current economic crisis in America eventually forces our leaders to work together for real solutions, but whether they do or not, Father is still my provider and his purposes will unfold in the earth regardless of what humanity does.

And so I embrace this day with the joy that I get to be part of a a bigger purpose than our political system could ever touch. I get to live inside God today and see what he puts before me. And I get to love people who come near me today and have no idea what the loving might accomplish in others. And I will lay my head down on a pillow tonight grateful to be living in such a time with such an amazing Father.

On October 4, I asked if there were some of you who had it on your hearts to help buy some new clothes for the orphanage in Kenya and I was blessed to have so many of you respond so quickly. We sent the money last month, even though we had not yet received enough. But during our time in Europe, additional money came in to complete the total.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, from both Sara and me and from the children as well. We are overwhelmed with joy to see such generosity flow so freely. Their previous clothes were worn out completely and this is such a gift for them, in answer to their prayers.

Today, I received this note and the following pictures:

Thank you very much for clothing the kids. They are happy and praying for you, your family and the ministry at large. All the kids are in good health and they are learning to depend on God for the provision of their daily needs. I had attached some photos of the kids, so you can see them.

Secretary Thomas Wamalwa

Top row, left to right: Sheilah, Purity, Esther, Mark, and Stella
Bottom row, left to right: Daniel, Pamella, Joseph, Naomi, and Daisy

We continue to need $3,000.00 monthly support for the orphanage to house, feed, and educate these children. Hopefully over the next year we will also be able to help them finance a local industry or agricultural that can not only hire some of the people who need jobs, but whose profits can sustain the orphanage itself. We are still trying to find the right idea that will provide both.

In in the meantime, if you feel called to help us support these children either with a one-time contribution, or a monthly donation, we (and they) would be grateful. If you want to know more about this project or the AIDs recovery home we also support in South Africa, you can see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd, Ste 1 #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

I voted today and it was not a joyful event. Politics in the U.S. are at a low-ebb, at least the lowest in my lifetime. I hate both political parties——Republicans and Democrats. And please take note that my hatred is aimed at the parties themselves, not the people involved in them. (How I wish there were a credible third-party candidate to vote for, and no, I don’t need the comments and emails trying to convince me otherwise. And I’ll apologize from my roof-top if any third-party candidate comes close to winning this election in even one state.)

Humans, grouped together, have an amazing capacity to do justify horrific behavior when it serves their interests. And right now the only thing our political parties seem to be committed to is electing their own to power, and serving their own unique band of special interests to line their pockets and increase their influence. That’s their bottom line, and when your only compass is power, money, or influence, character and integrity is always lost. Truth has no meaning, corruption ensues, and society becomes a poorer place.

As I read Psalm 58 on Sunday morning I’m reminded that the corruption of those who seek political power is a constant theme of human history.

Is this any way to run a country?
Is there an honest politician in the house?
Behind the scenes you brew cauldrons of evil,
behind closed doors you make deals with demons.
Psalm 58:1-2

I guess it’s nice to know this problem is as old as humanity, and the constant desire humans have to force others to do their bidding. I would hope there are people in both parties who care about a greater common good for our country, but it is not evident any more. They have figured out how to slice our fellow-citizens up into special interest groups from which they can find 51% willing to vote their way. It is corrupting to the core. George Washington himself warned us this would be so. He thought political parties would eventually ruin this country. In his farewell letter to the nation, he warned that political parties would turn the government from “a group of people interested in their nation’s future, to a rabbling mob of power-hungry professional politicians.”

He was right and the fulfillment of his words are coming due in our generation. Our political parties are money-grabbing, influence-peddling, character-destroying institutions whose only ambition is to increase their own power. Over the past few years I’ve spent more time than I would care to admit with people who serve a bottom-line above everything else. For some it’s money or power. With political parties it’s votes. But whenever someone cares about their bottom line more than what’s right or fair, truth is the first thing discard by the side of the road. They will say or do whatever they must, to get what they think they deserve and they have absolutely no concern for whatever carnage they create. Both parties have demonstrated that in this election.

But I do believe history turns on small decisions by thousands of people, and voting in a republic, while a small one indeed, is nonetheless critical. So I took pen in hand and voted once again, often having to hold my nose as I did it. And, no, I did not vote for President Obama this year. Probably the blog posting that has caused the most angst among readers and generated the largest volume of e-hate-mail, was the one when I talked about voting for President Obama in the last election and what I thought it meant for nonwhites in American history.

As I made clear at the time that vote was mostly a protest vote against Republicans for selling out our country to war-mongers and Wall-street executives, and betraying their own principles in outrageous spending, and I do not regret it. But President Obama has been a far worse president than I feared and I could not consider voting for him again. I knew his rhetoric for bi-partisan efforts would be far easier than dealing with reality, but I have been disappointed that he has not lifted a finger to forge collaborative legislation and has only bullied others to get what he wanted. He betrayed most of his campaign promises, except for those that served his leftist leanings. In the end he seems overmatched for the job, especially on economic and domestic issues, and now has run a purely negative campaign that has only torn down his opponent with false charges, instead of building a credible case for his own re-election.

We need a problem-solver at the head of the economy now and I’m hoping Mitt Romney has the chops to deliver on his promise. He certainly has far more experience in dealing with the realities of high-finance, and a greater record for collaboration than his opponent. But it was not an easy vote. The Republican party does not speak for me on so many issues, and the ones it does it seems to only give lip service to, in hopes of manipulating a constituency’s support rather than actually governing from those priorities.

I have no illusions here. Their bottom line is the good of their party, rather than the good of the country. I hope that changes some day, or this may be how our grand experiment in representative governance ends: the goodwill of the people overturned by the corruption of its officials and the arrogance of its political parties. When your bottom line is the amassing of personal power at the expense of the common good, you are part of the momentum that bears us toward destruction.

No, this is no way to run a country. The Psalmist was right. But let it also be a warning to us. This is also not way to live our lives. Do you have a bottom line you put above loving others? Do you live each day trying only to find what makes you happy, or trying to find a way to make someone else give you what you want? If so, you are also a collaborator in your own destruction.

We find life not by doing what is expedient for ourselves, but by doing what love invites us to do in the moment. That will lead us to truth, not away from it. It will allow us to live with humility, compassion, and honesty in the world, and where you can freely do that the kingdom of God advances in the heart of men.

I voted today, but that’s by far not the most important thing I’ll do today. There are so many other ways to let God’s light shine on the world around me, which will somehow unfold in simply loving the next person God puts in front of me.

Well, we’re back from my third trip to Europe (and Sara’s second) this year. I had an amazing time with some of my friends in Germany and then did it all again in Switzerland with others. Though I don’t love travel per se, I have enjoyed all the people God has graced me to meet over the years in countries all over the globe. You’ll hear more about this trip next week at The God Journey as Silvio, my Swiss friend, and I reminisce about my last trip to Europe.

Coming home, however was a weird experience for me. This is the first time in 18 years that I have come home from a trip without any other trips ahead on the schedule. I didn’t realize how much I’ve come to live my life in blocks between trips. On the way home, I’m usually talking to God about what I need to get done before the next departure. Sometimes that has been a matter of days and at other times a few weeks. But I have not come home in the last three years with nothing on the schedule, not this year, not next, and not any time thereafter. I even found myself wondering, “What if this is my last trip?” Weird… But, I’ve got to be honest, it sounded so good.

Why haven’t I scheduled any travel? It’s not because I lack invitations, in fact I’ve got more than a hundred from people who have enquired about my coming. The reason I haven’t booked any is because I haven’t sensed Father’s direction or timing in any of them yet. I don’t travel for me, or even for “the ministry.” I only travel when I sense God has a purpose in it. But not all his purposes are fulfilled in my travel. I am freshly being drawn to spend some time at home in his purpose, both as part of his work in Sara and to take on two important writing projects that have been on my heart for some time.

Do I really think I won’t travel again? No, not really. In fact, at the moment I’m actively in discussions and prayers about returning to Brazil, South Africa, and Australia in 2013, as well as visiting some people in the States. But none of that is certain yet, and I’m not rushing to fill up a schedule. I’m going to let this season play out as long as Father wants it to, and move on only when that is clear.

When I was finishing one of my last two books, In Season: Embracing the Father’s Process for Fruitfulness, I knew I was in a winter season, as God had slowed down my life as he was pruning off some of those things that had grown up around my life that he no longer wanted me actively engaged in. No one wanted that more than me, and if you asked me at the time, I’d have thought I’d be well-past that season by now. But over the last few months he has continued to empty my life and bring me back to a simpler place and time. And I love him for it.

The most incredible thing I’ve been involved in this summer is watching God transform Sara and set her free to be more the Sara God created her to be before other people intruded on that gift by using her for their own ends. I told her the other day that I’ve never had more fun with her than I had this summer being inside this process with her. It’s been amazing, and though the work is not done yet, it has opened a door for us to love each other differently and more deeply than we have before. It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever been part of, and I don’t want to miss any more of it.

I’ve met with a lot of people of late frustrated that God doesn’t seem to be answering their cries for wisdom in desperate times. Almost in all cases they were looking for God to give them a strategy that they could pursue. I find God doesn’t often work that way. If he gave us grand strategies, we’d only end up trying to fulfill them ourselves. I am convinced now that God’s will unfolds each day as we simply love the people he’s put before us and do the things he nudges our heart to do. The fruit and consequences of those decisions will open and close doors that will allow us to make other decisions, as we lean into his life and freedom. I like that. I don’t have to know the whole process, but simply wake up tomorrow and pursue what’s on my heart. I’m content to let the grand strategy be his.

So Sara and I arrive at this moment in our lives with a clean slate. We are not just going to keep on doing things that have gained a momentum of their own. We have laid all that down——the travel, the podcasting, the writing, even our hopes and expectations, so that we can sense more freely where the wind of the Spirit wants to blow us for this next season of our lives. We find ourselves immensely grateful for all that he’s allowed us to be part of over the last twenty years and the people we’ve gotten to know all over the world. At the same time we are alive with anticipation at whatever pleases him for this next season.

When I saw this picture (taken by a friend last week in Switzerland) it captivated me as a metaphor of where we’re at spiritually now. We rest content on the mountain of all God has done in us, drawn more closely together by his grace, and looking out across an future still shrouded in clouds, but confident that God’s purposes will continue to unfold in days to come.

And we wouldn’t want to be anywhere else…

On La Chasseral outside St-Imier in Switzerland looking over the low-lying clouds to the majestic Alps in the distance.

I saw this in a small article in this month’s edition of Reader’s Digest:

Over a 30-year period, University of Illinois researchers asked nearly 120,000 people how income, education, political participation, volunteer activities, and close relationships affected their happiness. Reported Newsweek’s Sharon Begley on the findings, “The highest levels of happiness [are found] with the most stable, longest, and most contented relationships.” (Reader’s Digest, October 2012 p. 126)

Imagine that! The most important determining factor in one’s personal happiness is the quality and quantity of long-term friendships. If you’ve read this blog at all, you know I extol their virtues all the time. It is certainly true in my life, that what brings me the greatest joy in life is meaningful friendships. While I enjoy new ones that are just beginning to connect, I treasure those that I’ve had over decades, many tracing back to my high school and college years. And the ones I share with family——Sara for 40-plus years, and my adult-children now in their early-30’s.

Friendships of growing affection, mutual respect, humor, honesty, and integrity are among the greatest wonders we get to enjoy in this age, and are probably a taste of what is to come in the next. It’s no wonder then that the enemy has so many tools in his arsenal to shatter friendships, and why so many of our fleshy pursuits actually sabotage the relationships we desire. Greed, jealousy, hatred, the quest for significance, self-focus, immorality, shame, faithlessness, dishonesty, arrogance, rage, ambition and countless others not only impact the person dealing with these deeds of the flesh, but the also all destroy friendships.

A good friend who has watched my life over 35 years wrote me recently with his insight that a lot of what I talk about always comes back to relationship——between us and God, and between ourselves and others. He saw that reflected in Ephesians where the purpose of God is to transform the world by creating people who can live in his love, and who by loving others become a powerful and subversive force in a self-focused world. This has been God’s purpose from the beginning, to restore a priority of relationships that are full and free and through those relationships to demonstrate his reality in the world. It’s too bad most of Christendom has missed that and been far more preoccupied with building an identity in their programs, institutions, and doctrines that has given us a reputation more for division than a growing unity.

I’ve been reading Ephesians again taking note of how important this is in Father’s heart and how deeply it lies at the heart of the Gospel. It’s not what we achieve that defines us, but how we love that makes us successful in God’s eyes. Isn’t it interesting that social scientists are coming to the same conclusion? We were created for relationship and are most happy in those that are long and enduring. Sin destroys our capacity for relationship by making others our competitors for attention, money, or status instead of drawing us into relationships as friends who can struggle together in the brokenness of this age.

I love the excerpt above because I know there is nothing that will bring you more joy than becoming one who can love freely, without expectation, and end up with friendships rich and deep. That doesn’t mean everyone you love will love you back. Not even close. But in your loving, you open doors for others to come out of their self-focused prisons. And some of those will become close, life-long friends with whom you can share your life.

I’ve known Janna LaFrance and her husband for the past ten years, having met them in Stratford, Ontario during a trip there with my wife and continuing through over the years. They have been on an interesting journey to say the least, through pain and disillusionment with organized religion, the tragic death of their firstborn, and numerous other challenges. But through it all they have continued to find their way into the healing and freedom that only Jesus can give. I’ve been blessed to watch that story unfold.

A few years ago she started to write a book to illustrate the power of grace in the midst of tragedy. It has just been released. The title is, “A Girl Named Grace” and tells a powerful tale of tragic loss that only grows more painful as more facts come to light. As she descends into overwhelming darkness she thinks she hears a voice, but has no idea whether she’s going mad or finding hope. In the midst of it all, grace she wasn’t even looking for finds her and opens a wide door into a world Grace never knew existed.

I don’t recommend books just because someone I know and appreciate has written it. To be true to my readers, it has to bee a book I think you’ll care about. This is a compelling read and rings with the authenticity of someone who has known the pain and been transformed by grace in the midst of it herself. Janna has lived these realities, and has now put them in print to encourage others who are looking for a voice of hope in the midst of great loss. Though women will probably relate more to this book than men, there is a great story here for everyone, and some powerful images of love and forgiveness. I’ve had the joy of peaking over her shoulder for the past couple of years as she was crafting this story and getting it ready for publication. Here’s what I wrote as an endorsement on the back of her book.

“Grace finds herself in the mind-numbing despair of an unfolding tragedy, only to discover that help comes in the most unlikely way. A Girl Named Grace is a compelling story of personal transformation in the midst of incredible pain. As Grace sorts out her story, you may just find yourself sorting through your own.”
—Wayne Jacobsen,

And here are a few excerpts from her book:

It was as though she had known Him her whole life and was more comfortable with Him than she had been with anyone she had ever known. He had no secret agenda or intention of taking anything from her that she did not offer. He would not hurt her or force her to do anything she did not want to do. In the deepest sense of the word, He loved her.

“This happened because life simply took its course. That humans will fail you is inevitable. How they fail will vary tremendously, but they will fail. They were never meant to replace Us. When a man or woman replaces Us as the source of life for you, it is only a matter of time before the well dries up and you are left disappointed, or worse, and are forced to go elsewhere…”

“Again, rather than her anger pushing Him away, He seemed to somehow come even closer. “Grace, I am the source. I love to flow through My children. I love to flow through fathers to their children and through husbands to their wives and through friends and strangers and children. What must change is your perception of where the life-flow is coming from. If you know that it is Me, even when others fail you, you will simply see through them and into My eyes. You will begin to recognize My voice when others speak My words to you. You will begin to sense My heartbeat in the actions of others, when they are being inspired by Me.”

My friend, Dave Fredrickson of Family Room Media also had a chance to review it. This is what he said:

“This is one of the very few novels that have captured my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Each page unveils a love story that lured me far beyond the shallows of romance into the depth of the Father’s heart. The timeless theme skillfully weaves itself around an engrossing plot like poetry on a mission to shatter false illusions and reveal true identity.” —David Fredrickson, author of When the Church Leaves the Building and helped write and produce the video series Church Outside the Walls.

Janna will talk more about her book on the October 19 podcast at The God Journey, but the book is available now. You can find it on Janna’s website, and at Amazon.com. You can also read the first chapter if you like, on Janna’s blog.