Wayne Jacobsen

I have been overwhelmed with email since posting the previous blog about the gift of divorce for those in abusive situations. Obviously there are a lot of people out there in very broken relationships, who fear even for their lives in dealing with an abusive spouse. My heart goes out to them and I pray God will give them the courage, wisdom, and help to find their freedom. Life is too short to live as the captive to someone else’s pain. I was also blessed to hear from so many for whom my blog relieved them from shame they had long been carrying for having gone through a divorce.

But I also received a number of emails like the one below, from those who seem stuck in an unfulfilling relationship with a partner who is unwilling to address their desire for something more:

My husband is very disconnected emotionally–and we’ve been married 20 years. I’ve been struggling with what to do–things are just so bad between us and not because he’s abusive in any way. As long as there is no conflict, everything is good in his mind. He doesn’t like conflict at all so real conversations don’t happen very often. I finally told him that the only way I knew to deal with our marriage was to lose any expectations I had regarding him or our marriage and since I really don’t know how to do that, it would most likely translate into more distance. I’ve reached a point where I just don’t care anymore. It’s difficult to have a happy marriage by yourself.

Her last sentence says it all. It is not only difficult it is impossible. The question is what can we do about it? In this case they had been to counseling and her husband just didn’t care about deepening the relationship, or even that his wife had a desire to do so. What a tragedy! It does take two people and a bit of energy to see a marriage deepen and grow over the years for a lifetime of affection and romance. But I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want that, if not for themselves then at least for the man or woman they vowed to love. A life of growing affection, seasoned over time, is one of the greatest gifts of living in this age.

Sara and I are once again feasting on the fruits of another shift in our marriage, where God’s revelation in an area of her life challenged me to change in a way that could support and celebrate what was happening in her. There have been numerous moments in our marriage where we had to risk the status quo of our marriage or embrace the process that would deepen our relationship. Staying with the status quo seems so easy, even if it is unfulfilling. And risking change is, well, a risk with no guarantees and always challenges the bondages of our selfishness that aren’t fun to face. But the fruit of doing so, especially when both do it together, is so amazing.

I can’t imagine any husband or wife refusing the adventure to an ever-deepening relationship of love, but I know everyone isn’t always in the same frame of mind at the same moment. It saddens me deeply to hear that one partner wants to go on this journey and the other is reluctant or even hostile to the idea. I have some thoughts that might help, but none of this is directed at the woman who wrote the above email. I don’t know her, her husband, their situation, the dynamics of their marriage, or anything else that would allow me direct my counsel to her. But I will comment in general, in hopes that others will see marriage not just as an obligation to get through life together, but the greatest opportunity to know community with another human being, and enjoy a lifetime adventure of loving and being loved as God continues to bring both people closer to himself. Obviously the Spirit will have to lead you, but this may help:

Sara and I now know that two very selfish people got married 37 years ago. We thought we were “in love”, and for people young and innocent, we were. But we “loved” each other for what we got out of the other and negotiating for what we wanted in the marriage always had to do with who had the influence to get their way. Making a marriage thrive, however, is not about power or getting one’s way, but about cherishing the other and serving her. But what if I’m the only one cherishing and serving? Won’t I just be taken advantage of? And the answer is, you will. Is that acceptable? It depends. If loving and serving someone opens a door to their heart, it can be awesome. But if it leads you to feel exploited without any hope of healing on his side, then it can be incredibly hurtful.

But this is not something we can negotiate. If I’m going to love and serve you only if you love and serve me, then we’re back to negotiating power by finding a mutual accommodation of self-need. While that accommodation is certainly far better than two selfish people repeatedly arguing and scheming to get their own way, it will not nurture a deeper love and affection. Somehow our service has to come from an inner transformation that finds our own selfishness unfulfilling and asks God teach us how to love our spouse the way he loves us.

Yes, this is impossible to do in human terms, especially with a non-responsive spouse. Unless we can become a conduit for the Father’s love toward our spouse, we will never know the deeper relationship we are hoping for. We have to see through their eyes and ask why are they seemingly disinterested in a deepening relationship. Does he have no hope it will happen? Does he feel overwhelmed by your expectations? Is he just worn out from the endless conversations about their relationship? Is he just so broken inside he doesn’t know how to engage that process? I know most partners take it personally when their spouse doesn’t want to engage a deeper relationship, but usually there’s an underlying reason and that usually isn’t because they don’t care about them or the relationship. So what is it? Only an honest conversation in a no-pressure environment can help unlock that answer.

And I don’t want abused partners to read that and think they must continue in an abusive relationship. Abused spouses almost always stay in a destructive relationship too long. They either blame themselves, hope for change when none is coming, or feel so trapped that they keep explaining away what their heart is already telling them to do. Love will want the best for your abusive partner, and that does not include giving them the opportunity to continue on a path of destruction. Love in the face of abuse will demand that it stop and that your spouse get help for their own good as well as your own.

That’s why abuse or exploitation in marriage is so insidious. If the joy of marriage can only be discovered when both lay down their lives for the good of the other, it is ruined when one is willing to take advantage of the other for their own desires. It kills love before it ever gets to take hold. Love expressed in mutual care and service never grows stale over time, but continues to uncover ever-deeper realities and romance that has proved to be the greatest adventure of my life in this age. And also, it is the greatest impetus for Sara and me to keep changing and growing.

Learning what it means to love Sara has not always been a smooth road, but the fruit of doing so as always been well worth any cost of mine. I’m convinced that marriage is the laboratory where God intends our flesh to die and where we truly learn to love another human being and become part of their journey. There is no great joy than that discovery, and yet our flesh screams against every opportunity to learn to do so. Yes, a marriage can just persevere for decades by finding a mutual accommodation of what we each want, but it will leave both people starving for love and leaves little room for romance.

Our default setting as humans seems to be to prefer the status quo that we know (unless it is too painful to endure) to the risk inherent in growth and change. So when a spouse is approached about deepening the marriage, the response is usually negative. They can feel judged as a failure, intimidated by the request, or overwhelmed with so many other things in their life, that they don’t feel they have the energy to do whatever needs to be done to improve the relationship. So don’t take it personally. It may not be meant that way. There may be other internal reasons that make them resistant.

That’s why simply asking them to be more connected probably won’t work, especially if your frustration bleeds through and it makes the other one feel like a failure, or if your hopes are communicated as a fantasy he has no hope in. That’s why love is always an invitation, never a demand. Remember when you were first attracted to that man or woman you ended up marrying? You couldn’t demand they love you back, you could only woo them and hope that a similar passion was kindled in their heart.

Do you remember how intoxicating it was to be in their presence, and how much it delighted you when something you did brought them joy? Unfortunately that often gets swallowed up in the daily responsibilities of life and the distractions of this world. Our relationships get complicated with expectations, resentments, and hurts. To re-ignite the passion it often takes some breathing space to sort through some of that and to recapture the affection that delights in the joy of the other.

That usually isn’t done through confrontations, but by a bit of humor, tenderness, romance without manipulation, and even some playful flirting. At some point, hopefully a conversation can emerge in an environment that allows hopes and dreams to be discussed with honesty and compassion so our spouse isn’t put on the defensive, or with the feeling that they have to come up with a plan to make it happen. That can be intimidating itself. And if communication has been really squelched in a marriage, that may take a third party to help you communicate in a way that leads to greater love and understanding. A good counselor can be incredibly helpful here, but so can an older married couple who have been through it themselves.

Who knows that maybe sitting down and reading this blog together may open a door of conversation between you? Just don’t bring a lot of agenda with it, but share some simple hungers and hopes and see if your partner can’t find a way to embrace the adventure with you. And for the reluctant partner, try to remember what it was like the day you decided to marry your spouse. What hopes had you for them? Why wouldn’t you want to be part of fulfilling the deepest hopes and dreams of that young life? You may not know how to do it, or get past some of your own disappointments, but if you could truly find a way to relax into a different reality, wouldn’t you want that for him or her, and even for yourself?

It isn’t an exact science, but hopefully you can find a way back into your spouse’s heart and you in his. It is a process and it may take some time, but any relationship can find a way to share God’s love together. Just remember the encouragement of Scripture for life-long loving was written in a time when most marriages were arranged, not chosen. How much more can these things be true with the woman or man who captured our hearts at a young age, and with whom we made so many promises on the day we got married?

Ask God to walk you through this. It will be more his wisdom than yours and his leading to the more propitious moments for the kind of conversation that may help you turn a corner. And regardless how your spouse may or may not respond in the short-term, God will still have a way forward for you to be fulfilled in him and to know best how to love your spouse right where they are. That’s a great attribute of love. It doesn’t demand anything of the other. Love starts where he is, not where you might want him to be. It realizes that pressuring someone to do what it wants, is a betrayal of itself and thus can only give of itself and not seek to manipulate the other.

I overheard a song earlier this summer and the ending refrain caught my heart. The song is Midnight Train to Georgia, and heard this refrain:

“I’d rather live in her world, than live without her in mine.”

Those words captured my heart as soon as I heard them. They express so well the work God has been inviting me into this summer and maybe that’s the heart of life-long loving. Rather than scheme to get my way with Sara or drag her into my world, I simply enjoy being with her in hers. Sara has done that far more for me over the life of our marriage, than I have had opportunity to do for her. So I’m learning to live in a part of Sara’s world that I never knew existed and we are finding so much joy in that relationship.

Was this not at the heart of the Incarnation? God could have stayed in his heaven without us, but wanted to be in our world with us and by loving us open a wider door for us to know what real life is. The hope for joy and transformation in your marriage is not to press your spouse for what you want or even think best, but in your willingness to love them the way he loves you—right where you are with all your brokenness and struggles. In this kingdom, your struggles don’t make you unacceptable, they only make you more endearing to those who truly love you.

Let him love you like that, then you’ll know how to love your spouse like that. And there’s no telling what love will do from there!

If you have any extra resources these days, I know some orphan children in Kenya who need some new clothes and shoes. Please give this opportunity some consideration. As many of you know, for the past three years we’ve been helping build a home in Kenya to care for almost 80 children who were orphaned in the violence that followed a disputed election in Kenya seven years ago. Through the generosity of many of you we were able to build a facility to house and educate them. We give them $3,000.00 per month in salaries, food, and supplies for these wonderful kids.

Today, I received this prayer request from the treasurer of the orphanage:

Thank very much for being concern to the kids of living loved christ hope care education centre. I take this happy tense moment to appreciate for the mats, matresses, blankets and all other needs you usually provide for them, they are now happy as they sleep well. Also apart from material things, bother Michael and I every day teach them how to follow Jesus. It has changed their life and they are going to be good people who would be accepted in the community and country at large as they complete their education.

The kids are healthy, and we are praying God for the following needs: clothes and shoes for all the children. Almost every kids’ shoes are worn out and also ordinary clothes, so please continue to pray for them.

They have asked us to pray with them about this need, and I’m blessed to do so. One of the things we are encouraging with this entire project is to get them, staff and students, to look to God as their provider, and not just think it will always come from people in the west. I’m glad they are learning to do that. I’m praying for them, too, and asking God to show them his ability to provide for them.

At the same time you might want to help me the answer to those prayers. James said that there is nothing we can do that touches God’s heart more than to care for widows and orphans where they have need. The total need to get clothes and shoes for each child is $2,000.00, or $28.00 per child. If you’d like to help provide for one or more of these children you may do so through Lifestream. Not only is your gift tax-deductible, but we guarantee that every dollar given gets to Kenya. We don’t take out any money for administrative costs, or even bank fees to transfer those funds.

The children at Living Loved Education Center

We also need some new people to help carry the $3,000.00 monthly support for the orphanage, since contributions have been falling off a bit over time. We always make up the difference from other Lifestream resources, but it helps when other people share this with us. I’ve been blessed at the number of people who have helped us with this project and we need a few more. Hopefully over the next year we will also be able to help them finance a local industry or agricultural that can not only hire some of the people who need jobs, but whose profits can sustain the orphanage itself. We are still trying to find the right idea that will provide both.

If you feel called to help us support these children either with a one-time contribution, or a monthly donation, we (and they) would be grateful. If you want to know more about this project or the AIDs recovery home we also support in South Africa, you can see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd, Ste 1 #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Yesterday I joined Cliff Ravenscraft for his podcast, “Encouraging Others Through Christ,” as we talked about what forms our spiritual life can take on when you are no longer involved in a traditional congregation environment. You can listen below, or click on the link above. We talked about where I’m at right now in my journey, whether it’s helpful to be “driven” in this new life, and how we deal with some of the sacraments and activities when we no longer find them in a structured congregation each week.

On occasion I post audio files on this blog when I think they will be of interest to many of you. If you’d like to have these audio files downloaded to your media player, you can also subscribe to new audio postings at Lifestream via iTunes.

I thought I’d share with you some email that really makes me smile. Some of this is really personal, so I’ve disguised some of the details so no one will recognize who the original writer was. But I enjoy seeing the process of transformation unfolding in people’s lives, drawing them into greater love, greater honesty, and greater freedom.

This is from a pastor who recently resigned his position:

I’m going through an intense transition. Mainly dealing with, “Do I feel valued for just being me?” I have resigned from the church to learn what me looks like. I want to know in my heart that I’m the gift. I couldn’t do this from my position as senior pastor. I’m also learning how to be a friend. I’ve bypassed this part of life because of my desperate need for approval through performance. It feels very vulnerable but also very rewarding. The questions that I’m asking and wanting answered feel very foundational. Questions that I should have answered in the beginning but was to busy trying to lead people. The questions are: Who is God?, Who am I?, What is my purpose on the planet?

Can you imagine the courage it takes to walk away from something you deeply love, to find out more about the One who is deeply calling you into life and freedom? Most never discover the road less traveled, because they won’t risk the vulnerability of stopping the train of their own self-approval needs and discover the life that really is life. Bravo, my Friend!

And then this from a mom of teenagers:

My heart is full of gratitude for the way God has used your teaching to bring me to a new place of freedom and fellowship with Jesus. My love for Him continues to deepen as He faithfully reveals His love to me. It just keeps getting better and better. I’ve loved living in this new place and have enjoyed passing on this life-altering, paradigm-shifting good news of “living loved” to many God has graciously sent my way.

But, the thing I am most grateful for is how God has used you in the lives of my four kids. They have all read He Loves Me and have been greatly impacted by the Love of Father that is revealed in that book. I love the conversations that we have been having with them and how often they will go back to an example from that book, or a quote from it. My second son, has listened to your Jesus Lens series and Transitions. He loves them both. The Love of Father that I have seen coming out of my kids as they have moved more deeply into an understanding and experience of His Love brings me to tears. Tears of gratitude for His grace and love. I know that it is all His work and His doing, but I have loved the way He has used you. Thank you for your faithfulness and love for the Body.

I love it when kids engage this journey and take ownership of their own walk with Father, learning and exploring their own engagement with him and knowing he wants to lead them too. This sounds like they have some interesting conversations around the dinner table.

And finally, this from a friend across the country with whom I’ve had occasion to cross paths on a number of occasions:

I just wanted to encourage you in this season you are in. I think it is a great thing that you are taking time away, not only for yourself and family but for all of us out here as well. I am realizing more and more how easy it is for people to be followers of the latest teachings (teacher). How in many of us we have a desire to be next to the person who “knows”. How, because of insecurities and shame, it becomes not only easy but almost a necessity to attach to someone who we think is the guru. The first time I connected with you via email years ago it was refreshing, and safe, to me that you weren’t trying to tell me what to do and how to think. You listened and encouraged me to listen and allow Father to sort things out. As I have gotten to know you more over the years that seems to be ongoing and very intentional trait of yours. That’s why I say this is a good season for all the lifestream readers and listeners as well as it is for you.

I love it when people realize that my life and teachings are simply scaffolding to help others engage God on their own and learn how to listen to him and follow him. I’ve received much encouragement during this time from people who are being freshly reminded not to draw nourishment from Lifestream, but to draw it from Jesus. I agree that too many people are still seeking a mediator between them and God, unable to believe that God wants to walk with them and show them the way. I realize we’re supposed to be breeding dependence on Lifestream to ensure our future success. But I’m all for Lifestream decreasing as God increases in each heart…

Tomorrow I head home from Canada with a very full heart. So many wonderful things have happened on this trip and I have some interesting conversations to share on future podcasts. I so incredibly blessed to see the body of Christ in the world from the vantage point God has given me. She is a lovely lady, being shaped by the Father as a precious bride fit for her King. I have no idea what’s ahead for me, but I am content in his love even in the uncertainty and I am ready to follow him however he desires me to do so.

For the last week I’ve been traveling in the Toronto area and having some interesting conversations with people in various stages of their own stories. I am deeply touched and encouraged by the work God is doing to draw people into himself, even in the midst of very tragic and distressing circumstances.

I started at a retreat in Orangeville and then spent some time with Bruxy Cavey on Monday. He’s the teaching pastor at The Meeting House here in Toronto and the author of The End of Religion, which I’ve often recommended because I love his premise that Jesus did not come to start another religion in the world, but to fill up in the human spirit that which cries out for the false comfort of a religion. We “met” on a radio show together a few years ago and said if we ever got in the same city, we’d try for a face-to-face exchange. I didn’t know if he’d even remember me, but came to find out The God Journey often accompanies him when he mows the lawn.

We had a great time together and recorded some of our conversation that may show up on a future podcast or two, on mine and his. Yesterday, I did a TV interview with a substitute host, because the main guy couldn’t make it in. I’m glad he didn’t. She was great and very engaged with the things I’m passionate about. I’ll link to that when it comes out. The last two nights I’ve been in homes with smaller groups of people in some pretty intense conversations. I admire the courage and grace with which people are sorting out their own spiritual journey, even in the face of great hardship and the face of criticism by those who are threatened when they back away from religious expressions that they no longer find helpful.

Someone I met earlier in this trip sent me an email yesterday:

I’ve listened to Transitions and I can say that it sounds like “home” to me. You have a wonderfully soothing voice and the God that you know is a God that I want to know. What you speak about speaks to my spirit and I can hear the divine, “Amen”.

I honestly don’t think the “homeness” has anything to do with my voice. I think it is a reflection of Father’s fragrance in our lives. I experience it, too, when I meet others who have the fragrance of Father about them. You don’t have to talk long before you sense a warmth, safety, graciousness, and peace that sets our heart at rest. “You are loved. You don’t need to perform here. You don’t need to try and impress me. You don’t have to manipulate the moment to get what Father wants for you. You get to be you, and I get to be me and we can simply love each other.” That’s what home feels like.

Now, I realize that isn’t true for everyone. I know some people reading this grew up in homes filled with violence, anger, manipulation, and fear. “Home” may not be a tender term for you. But I think you get the point too. When something feels like home, it feels like you belong, like you don’t have to be afraid, like you can relax because the Father is there.

I can’t think of a better description that marks the body of Christ than feeling at home with others. It isn’t always true. I’m often around believers that reek with agenda, who need to force their views on other people, and constantly manipulate an environment thinking they are doing God a favor. I don’t mind spending some time among them when God asks me to, but it isn’t home to me, it’s work. But when I sit with people who freely open their hearts, who are honest and real, not looking to exploit me for what they can can, but simply want to share life together as mutual siblings of an awesome Father, that’s when I know I’m touching an expression of Christ’s body in the world.

I have a song on my iPhone called, Feels Like Home. I play it usually within a day or two of flying home, or even on the way. It fills my heart and mind with the things I love about home, and I love it’s refrain, “It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong.” Now, that’s home! When you experience that with other people who know the God you know, relax and enjoy it. It’s my favorite identifier of the church in the world.

Watching both political conventions over the last two weeks, it finally dawned on me why I have come to find this entire election season so empty and soul-numbing.

Each side, using all the tools of public relations, exaggerates its claims to greatness far beyond any sense of reality, and at the same time exaggerates its opponent’s weaknesses, even making up lies where it serves them. In the end we don’t get an honest discussion of the issues, or even an honest appraisal of the men running to be our next President. We get a constant barrage of deceitful self-boasting and scurrilous accusations at the other.

False caricatures are all were left with. One person deserves our trust and the other is an evil man running for his own self-interest. The process is not designed to inform the electorate, but to manipulate their vote for that which does not even exist. If you talk to supporters of either man, they see it exactly the way the politicians want them to. One candidate is the only hope for America, and the other will totally destroy it. I don’t know what’s sadder, that politicians think we’ll fall for the charade, or that so many Americans actually do.

I would hope that when President Obama and Governor Romney go to bed at night, they see through the false caricatures that mar their own campaigns. But I’m not so sure they do. I remember when President George W. Bush was asked at the end of his first term if there was anything he regretted, or decisions he made that wish he’d done differently. He couldn’t think of any. Really? Can anyone be so self-deceived that they can’t look back over any four-year period and not see the failures that any moderately intelligent person could see? Who doesn’t gain better wisdom with the passing of time or in the consequences of their actions, not wish they had treated someone differently?

And now the media is in on the game as well. They join one side and manipulate their listeners to see their one-dimensional view of the world. Seemingly the only way to get a job in news these days is to be an arrogant, obnoxious advocate for liberal or conservative causes. Who is taking a hard look at what’s true and able to analyze the nuances of the major crises that confront our nation?

False caricatures are not only a stupid way to choose a President they also destroy human relationships at every level. And yet shame drags us into our own internal conversations that are very much like this political campaign. Viewing yourself or anyone else in such one-dimensional terms is a recipe for disaster. It is the language of shame throbbing like a drum beat in our heads as much as in our culture.

There are those who find it easy to exaggerate their own sense of goodness or gifts, while also exaggerating the weaknesses of others. They end up thinking more highly of themselves than they ought to think and will live arrogantly in the world, demanding their own way, betraying their own word when it suits them, and making accusations against others to deflect people from seeing them as they really are. Wherever they tread, relationships are destroyed.

While I’ve known a few people like that, there are probably more who tend to focus on all their faults and failures, while exaggerating the gifts and insights of others. They are so crushed by their own perception of inadequacy that they exaggerate their own weakness or brokenness, while at the same time exaggerating the gifts and goodness of others around them. Unable to accept themselves as they really are, with a full complement of attributes, some positive and some negative, they define themselves as unlovely and unworthy.

As long as we are dominated by shame we’ll live in a world of false caricatures of ourselves and other people around us. In the end we don’t get to see people as they really are, a mix of some talents, wisdom, and gifts, but also of weaknesses, inadequacies, and blind spots.

I remember one of the last conversations I had with three other elders at the place I last pastored. They had been some of my close friends for almost fifteen years. They were trying to get me to embrace changes they wanted to make in the congregation that I thought would take us away from the road Jesus was inviting us to follow. The pressure they exerted was oppressive, offering me the place of “wise apostle” if I bought into it, and threatening me with being outed as a rebellious person if I didn’t. I was neither of the two things I was being offered and yet those were the only choices I was being given. In the end, I decided that wasn’t a game I’d play anymore.

I’m so glad I didn’t. That game leads only to a false world of extremes where reality is celebrated and true life can unfold. While I crave the day when a politician will forge an honest campaign and make the other look foolish for not doing so, I have little hope that our political climate will change. But each of us has the freedom each day to walk away from a world of false caricatures and see ourselves and others as they really are. Let God show you how he views you, both the places that reflect his glory, and those places that he still yearns to transform. Don’t be afraid to admit either and have the freedom to be who you really are in the world. It will help set others free.

And then learn to see others as they really are, celebrating their gifts and strengths, while pouring out compassion and patience on the broken places they endure. Life is so much better when we live in reality and not the false caricatures that our society seems to crave.

It’s amazing what the heart sees when the busyness of our lives gives way to quiet. Many of you know I’m taking a break from a lot of the ways I engage people on the web. I’m doing far fewer blog posts, very little Facebook updates, and no podcasts for a season. It hasn’t been easy. I enjoy all of those and the dialogs they initiate with others.

But as I said in the last podcast, I felt impressed to slow things down a bit or two reasons. First, to give adequate time and place to the work of freedom God is doing in Sara. That story continues, and is one of the most incredible processes I’ve ever watched God do and I am so blessed at the courage Sara demonstrates as she’s learning to embrace a different way of living. I wish I could share more, and hope we’ll have a chance to down the road. But I’m not sure when and if any of this can be shared more widely.

The other reason we’re slowing down my heart is because I sense there is a fresh wind brewing that will impact how my life gets shared publicly. Oh, I’m sure I’ll still write and probably podcast, but I am thinking that both of those will have a different tone and focus. I heard a song the other day and one of the lyrics was about getting back to a simpler place and time. My heart soared when I heard those words. Something deep was calling me away from all the business that had pushed it’s way into my life a few years ago, and the complications that resulted from it. Most of that is all buttoned up now, but that still didn’t fulfill what my heart was crying for.

In the last few weeks my heart is getting back to the simplicity of living in the moment with the people close by, of listening to the Spirit’s nudges, and all of that is beginning to paint a different way forward. That doesn’t mean I’m just twittling my thumbs around here. Life has been incredibly busy, but in the absence of a lot of public content and comment my heart has slowed down enough to take in God’s leading. That process continues and I’m excited about what it is already shaping in me and grateful for the encouragement I’ve received from many of you.

I’ll leave you with this email that really touched me yesterday. This from a good friend of mine in Virginia:

I just want to tell you how we thank the Lord for your latest home-run for the kingdom of God in The Jesus Lens. I am not exalting you, just thanking God for you and your willingness to again walk where Father is walking, and say what He is saying. Many of us here who you have been with are now on #18 and loving every session – and I and others have been encouraging others we know everywhere to go through the series. I just wanted to express my continued appreciation for the fresh breath of life that you bring to the body of Christ…..

If you haven’t explored that yet, it’s one of the many free resources we offer to help people find their own journey with a loving Father. This one is to help people find a meaningful way to interpret Scripture that gives full credence to the revelation of God in Christ Jesus. He is not the bully many have made him out to be by their misuse of Scripture’s story.

We had some guests over the weekend in our home and Sunday I sat on the patio I picked up my reading from the Psalms. Soon others came to join me, so I read it out loud. I happened to be reading from Psalm 43, an this is how it begins:

Vindicate me, my God,
and plead my cause
against an unfaithful nation.
Rescue me from those who are
deceitful and wicked.

When I finished, I made the observation that I used to read Scriptures like that and immediately thought of Russia or other Communist countries who at the time wanted to force their views on the entire world. That morning, however, my mind had gone first to Washington, DC, and how unfaithful and deceitful our “ruling class” has become. (Someone else soon added, “Sacramento” as well, since our state politics is perhaps even more corrupt than our federal government.)

This led to an interesting discussion as to whether or not any of us could cite an historic example of those who gained power and advantage over others and did not end up using it for their own privilege and in doing ended up oppressing others. We could think of none that lasted any length of time. Perhaps this is why God never wanted some people to hold power over others. The advantages of power and wealth seems to always corrupt those in its clutches and their never-ending quest for more.

I wrote a few months ago about the unholy alliances that have usurped government by the people and only manipulate the anxiety of the masses to build their own power base. Where are the people of character and concern who will put the common good above their own personal gain? If we don’t find them we are surely in the waning days of the American experiment.

It does not delight me to talk about our state or national leaders in such terms. When I was younger I had great hope in the ideals of America. I never expected a democratic republic to be perfect, but I at least had hope that those in national service really wanted to do what was best for the country. I don’t know if I was more easily scammed then or if things really have gotten worse, but no one even pretends anymore to work for the common good. We are splintered into two political parties who fight over their own power, not the good of the country. And while they feign disgust at the other party, they seem content to trade the seats of power from time to time, since nothing substantively changes in the direction of our government and its relentless need to control every detail of our lives.

It seems to be that while they have us focused on liberal v. conservative politics and foment a class war between those who pay taxes and those who receive entitlements, they blind us to the real class warfare between an ever-more entrenched ruling elite who act for their own gain at the expense of normal people. They exempt themselves from laws that govern us, use “public service” to line their own pockets, and then retire from government service either with ridiculous pensions, or high-paying lobbyist jobs in the private sector.

As the first of two political conventions begin this week I found myself agreeing with the Psalmist, asking God to rescue us from deceitful and wicked leaders. I guess that prayer is in hopes that there are men and women of character somewhere who can stand in the gap of the excesses of power and ultimately do what is right and just for the people of this nation, and the world. But I don’t see them on the horizon at this point and certainly neither of our major political parties even give lip service to that ideal anymore.

It behooves us all in this country to think even beyond this election and stop playing into the hands of those who manipulate our political system to their own advantage. Don’t get caught up in the rhetoric of accusation and hatred for those you might disagree with. Don’t fall for negative campaign ads that hide the truth rather than illuminate it. And, demand better of your representatives than to just tow the party line when it only benefits the party and not the country.

I got this from a friend while I was on vacation. I love this. His family had not been attending a Sunday morning gathering for some time, and he wondered what kind of impact that might be having on their children. On a recent Sunday grandma was visiting from out of town and wanted to attend a Sunday service. So the whole family went.

His eight-year daughter old didn’t want to go to Sunday school because she claimed she didn’t like it and didn’t get anything out of it. Instead she wanted to sit with the adults and asked if she could draw during the sermon. She brought a pencil and some paper for that purpose. While listening to the sermon, my friend looked down and noticed his daughter wasn’t drawing, but writing. Here’s what he saw:

“My God loves me and my soul no matter how many times I have been bad or not listened. He loves me. I love God back because He is my hero. Nobody is praised more than my Lord. I am grateful for my God and He is grateful for me. God loves me for who I am and I am grateful for that too. I love you Lord. Amen.”

Pretty cool, eh? Actually, it’s better than most sermons that I’ve had to sit through. My friend was deeply touched. Their family has been in a bit of a financial crunch of late and he has had to work three jobs, sometimes seven days a week. He said he felt like a failure as a spiritual leader, even though he’s tried to communicate God’s love for all of them, no matter the circumstance. Looks like it’s getting through. As he wrote me, “I’m not necessarily encouraged that I am doing a good job as her dad, but more encouraged that in spite of all God is present in her life and working in her heart.”

Because he is just like that!

And honestly the truth in her words is where this journey begins. I can already hear the detractors who would read her words as an excuse to “be bad” or “not listen.” This view of God’s love, they’d say, is just used by weak people to excuse their sin. But nothing could be further from the truth. Our security in the Father’s love is not where sin perpetuates; it’s where relationship with him can truly begin. And in that relationship we will slowly, but surely, be transformed into his image.