Wayne Jacobsen

Last weekend the brothers and sisters in Kenya dedicated the new gas station to the Lord’s service.  Children from Living Loved Care Centre were there to celebrate what the generosity of so many of you have provided.  My heart overflows today at their excitement that God has provided a way for them to care for the children as a result of this enterprise.  It is my joy to know that we were able to leave to something in that country that is not perpetually dependent on the West for money and resource.  The goal all along has been to be alongside them as brothers and sisters helping them learn to trust God’s provision through our own generosity.  I’m blessed this is getting there. 

So far we have sent them $80,000 to build the service station. The process has not been without it’s difficulties.  They needed an additional $8,000 to buy extra land to accommodate truck access due to where the pumps had to be installed.  When it finally opened a couple of weeks ago they were excited at the number of vehicles stopping for fuel, as well as the local people getting gas for cooking.  But then the traffic suddenly stopped on the road.  As they checked into it they discovered the government had closed the road throught that stretch for an unannounced construction project.  So after only a week of operation at the scale they anticipated, sales have dropped to near nothing as there is no traffic on the road.  This project was unannounced and unforseen, and is only supposed to last a couple of months before the road reopens again to hopefully increased traffic.  

We still need funds to help offset the original $80,000 and now we need an additional $3,000.00 per month through July and August to pay for food and staff at the orphange until the traffic resumes.  So the work goes on and we’re standing with them as God makes provision for a people so impoverished by the harsh conditions of East Africa.  I am so grateful for how many of you have been part of this with us, sending in your contributions to help the brothers and sisters there.  They are blessed as well.  I did receive this email last week from our contact there:  

Greetings in Jesus name , I finished the mission in Uganda and I am now in Kenya, last Saturday and Sunday we had a very wonderful dedication prayer, some of the children from living Loved centre were leading in prayer and singing , I took the time to share about you for what the lord had done through your hand, we got this project and Living Loved Care centre.  The first prayer it was for your family, second is for your ministry and the third is for the friends , brothers and sisters over there who stretch their hands towards this project.  The prayer team work came from all over from different of the regions.

Another thing, thank you very much for understanding our need, which Thomas shared with you due to road construction for continuing stretching the hands for the kids, I appreciate really for the heart of love and caring, may the lord bless you  so much as I look forward to hear from you, the construction of the exit is complete we appreciate so much for the extension of the land.
                                                  Yours,
                                                  Brother Michael

If you would like to help us finish off the service station as well as feed and educate the children for the next two months, we and they would be grateful. If you want to know more about this project or the AIDs recovery home we also support in South Africa, you can see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd, Ste 1 #313 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Here are some pictures they sent to celebrate their progress:

Filling the tanks for opening week

A steady stream of traffic on opening week

Girls from the orphanage prepare for the day of dedication

Preparing to officially open the service station

When Brad and I were asked to write the stories of Jesus to go with Murry’s paintings in A Man Like No Other, we wrote them for adults.  They contain a lot of theology in those very short bits designed to help people unpack the story of Jesus from all the religious dressing we’ve added to his life over two thousand years and see him for who he was—God living among us in human flesh.   He preferred living in our world, to living without us in his. 

But the pictures draw the eyes of children and I’ve been amazed at how much children glean from the stories.  Even though they may miss the nuances of theology, they do pick up the simple reality of who Jesus is and why he came to live and die in our world.  But I really loved this email that I got a couple of weeks ago.    (The names have been changed to protect the people involved.) 

My wife’s parents recently went up to her brother’s house to pick up our niece, Jennifer, to bring her back to stay with them for a few weeks.  Jennifer is 10 and loves to read. She lives in a very difficult situation.  Her dad works a lot, mainly to stay away from home.  Her mom suffers medical conditions going on and is generally an angry person. She says she is atheist but we think she says it only in an attempt to stick a finger the family’s eye. 

Anyway, her parents were up there last week picking her up and noticed Jennifer had the copy of “A Man Like No Other” in her room. We had given them out to the family a couple years back as Christmas gifts. My wife’s mom asked her if she was reading it and Jennifer said, “Oh Grannie, this book has answered so many questions I have had.”

That simple story fulfills everything Murry had on his heart when he painted the pictures, and what I had in mine in helping write the text to go with them.  I know my granddaughters have enjoyed the book as well. I noticed that when the oldest was only six and I was reading the unfinished manuscripts ot her as we looked at the paintings.  Now at eight I continue to have some wonderful conversations with her as we look at the book together.  

The paintings are compelling enough to hold the attention of young children long enough to glean from the stories what they can understand. Often they ask the most incredible questions as they processes their own thoughts about who Jesus is and what it all means to them.   

You can order your copies of the book from Lifestream.org.  

(Personal Note:  I’m so sorry the website has been a mess over the weekend.  The server it ties to has had a weekend of problems and that has made life difficult for a lot of people.  I know how frustrating it can be to try to find a website that continues to get error messages.  I’m hopeful we’re past most of that now. I apologize for any frustration that has caused you.)

At the end of this week’s podcast on df that was posted this weekend at The God journey, I read a letter by a good friend of mine who has just undergone bone marrow transplant in Ireland.  Many of you have met David Rice from his previous appearances on the podcast.  The procedures he’s undergone have been harrowing, stretching back through months of aggressive chemotherapy, harvesting stem cells, battling infections and dealing with allergic reactions to some of the medication he’s been given.

As I’ve kept up with David during this process, I’ve been blessed by his resilient spirit in the face of such a painful ordeal.  While I’m sure he would have opted for a supernatural healing at the start, he’s continued to listen and lean into Jesus through the entire process and through it God continues to not only lead him through it, but to transform him spiritually in the process.  I supposed David could have wasted the last few months lamenting his condition and begging God for healing, but instead he has let God make himself known however he chose to do in this process.  I love that. 

The last twelve days have been the most demanding as his bone marrow was destroyed by chemotherapy and the previously harvested stem cells were inserted into his body.  But it takes almost ten days for the new stem cells to start producing enough blood to overwhelm the devastating effects of chemotherapy. During that time the body is wiped out physically

Many people have asked me for a copy of David’s email, so I post it here.  In his own physical battle, he saw an even greater illustration of how God transforms us from the inside out through the blood of Christ flowing in us.  

I am slowly beginning to adjust to having a new blood system and to feeling new life come back to my body each day.  It really is an amazing feeling and shows me starkly how the life is in the blood. Every last cell is supplied and nourished by it and if you don’t have it working you know all about it!  All of those miraculous, but natural, processes are staggering in themselves but I am not exaggerating when I say that the real transformation in me is at a far deeper level, in the spirit.   The last week has easily been the most significant in my life.  I know that inside I am a different and new person. The Lord has been so wonderful to me that I am not sure if I will ever be able to express the wonders of what I see In Him. I am not even sure that I am meant to try, rather to let the fruit of that come out in other ways.  We shall see.

I do feel to share a picture that I  He gave me from the transplant to illustrate the reality of redemption.  In the days before  I came in to hospital on previous occasions I felt I was prepared, by the Lord, for what was to come, either by a word or picture or something that caught my attention or someone shared.  This time I felt the opposite.  If anything, I felt very unprepared, aware of sin, my flesh, weakness and temptation. As I looked to the Lord I felt only one word, PATIENCE. Those of you who follow me on Facebook may have seen me refer to that there.

I came into the hospital and the procedure began with a very high dose of a particularly nasty chemotherapy drug which was designed to take out my bone marrow completely. This clear, innocent-looking, chemical has a very short half-life so it had broken down and left my body within a couple of hours.  The devastation it caused in that time is considerable and its effects will be felt for months. In fact, if I had not had my own stem cells returned to me I would definitely have died as I could not, any more, produce blood cells.  This is such a picture of sin. At first it seems innocent and of little consequence, but as it works through a life it produces death, guaranteed. 

Those small packages of my stem cells, previously harvested, represent the redemptive blood of Jesus.  As they bring new life to my body they deal with the effects of death and sin’s damage. I am redeemed by His blood. I become filled with His New Life. It has not known sin and is not infected by death rather it transforms my sinful body to be like Him.  What an amazing work of grace and love.

The above picture became so vividly alive to me as I came through the process. The ten days or so of waiting to see if the cells had engrafted are a special experience.  I could feel death at work in me but new life was also growing and swallowing up the death. Once in motion both processes lead to  completely inevitable, but opposite, results.   In my case death was swallowed by life.   It took patience to see the life regrow but when it did the transformation was immediate and amazing.  Over a period of about two days I went from being unable to sustain my own life to a completely restored, normal blood count!

This simple but, to me, very real picture of His grace in redemption led on to days and nights of revelatory adventure which are transforming me and I do not know if I can ever or should ever share. What matters is that I don’t think I can ever be the same again! 

                                                                                                 David Rice
                                                                                                 County Wicklow, Ireland

I get emails like this a lot.  They always break my heart and I hope my answer to this woman will help others struggling with the same question:  Does God allow bad things to happen to us?

Most Christians think so. They’ve been trapped in a false and simplistic theology that concludes that because God is all-powerful he either orchestrates our pain, or at least allows it.  He could stop it, but for some reason he chooses not to.  Their thought is that God allows horrible tragedies to happen to his children, either because they either loved something too much, or they needed to really learn a lesson, or through the tragedy he would save a hundred other people.

I know I’ve been banging this drum for awhile, but that’s because believers as well as scholars have viewed the Bible as a legal document and one out of which we can draw any principle we want out of it as long as we can find a prooftext or two to back us up.  That leads to some brutal misunderstandings about God.  They fail to see the Bible as a story of God’s unfolding revelation in the world and one huge element of that story is the fall of humanity, the subsequent subjugation of the creation in futility, and how God is winning that back through the work of his Son.  We live in a dynamic story of the new creation rising up inside the old, and as we live in this world we are often victims of its pains and excesses.  

God is all-powerful, and completely loving, but that doesn’t mean people who follow him get a free pass from tragedy or pain in the world.  Jesus clearly told us that, as did every writer of the New Testament.  In fact, the life of faith will encounter greater difficulty than those who coast along plaing the world’s game.  We are told that God works incredible good in the tragedies of this world, but that does not mean that he orchestrates them.  The world provides trouble enough.  

What we must never forget is that he is the redeemer and rescuer in the story, not the one passing out pain in the interest of making us better people.  What a horrible God he would be if he did!  

Here’s the email I received:

I have been listening to the podcast with Kevin Smith.  After listening many times and mulling over it  I  need some clarification.  My confusion lies in God sending or allowing pain.  We lost a grandchild 11years ago due to being stillborn.  She was a beautiful 5 lb, fully developed baby girl.  I struggled with God allowing it and settled that He did.  Her death caused me to rethink who is this God?  I thought I had been so faithful in doing what He expected of me—daily quiet time, prayer, involved in the church, etc.   Why did He allow this to happen?  This is when He started untwisting my thinking about legalism and religious obligation.

However, when you and Kevin were speaking it was unsettling to me.  Isn’t God the blessed controller of all things?  I believe He could have prevented her death, but He chose not to, thus allowing it to happen.  Am I viewing God as superman as Kevin mentioned?

I didn’t understand what you were saying as to how we should view God in painful circumstances.  It is apparent that your view is different than what I believe or have been taught.   I am sorry to bother you, but would appreciate your help in helping me see God differently in painful circumstances.

This was my response:  This is not an easy conversation to have, since it touches something so deeply in you and because I don’t know you enough to speak into a specific situation.  It’s even worse trying to do it in a few words in an email.  This is a heavily nuanced conversation that involves God’s love, power, and sovereignty.  Most people have come to learn those things out of the Christian religion that looks for a logical explanation for everything as if God is not present with us in the world. 

That’s why you struggled with God “allowing” your precious granddaughter to die.  It didn’t make sense that a loving Father would make such an intentional decision in your case.  Well I don’t think it did.  That’s an answer Christianity has used for years to give people a false sense of security.  We’re OK because every event comes through God first.  But I think the Bible actually teaches us that we are safe because God is with us and will work all things together for good.  There is much that happens in our world that wouldn’t be God’s specific choice.  Though he could control everything and make us his robots, he does not.  This world is out of synch with it’s Creator and because of that it’s natural state is chaos.  It is broken and under control of the evil one.  Sin, sickness, and tragedies are part of all of our lives as we live in this world awaiting its final redemption in Christ.  God is in the world to redeem it back to himself and has plan that will bring all things together under Christ. He will get the last word on everything, but he doesn’t have it yet.   That’s coming in the day when all things are summed up in him.   He works toward that fulfillment even now as I write this email. 

To think that God would “allow” your granddaughter to die, in my view, disfigures him.   I don’t see how it makes it better for God to be behind the deaths of our loved ones as the agent of their dying or making an active decision not to intervene and stop something that hurts us so deeply.  It is the devil who steals, kills, and destroys.  Death is God’s enemy according to I Corinthians 15, not his friend.  Sometimes, for purposes beyond our understand God will intrude into our circumstances and in miraculous ways right some wrong.  That’s the kingdom of heaven making itself known here.  Jesus walked in that reality and invited us to as well, but even with that he knew incredible pain and tragedy as well.  We get to be part of an unfolding kingdom with him, but since it is HIS kingdom, we don’t get to control the outcomes.   God doesn’t work miracles to make our lives easy and comfortable circumstantially.  He does them to advance a far greater purpose in the world.  He wants to unfold the kingdom in our midst and work through us as we learn to listen and respond to him. 

We can enjoy the miracles when they come, and when they don’t, we learn to lean more deeply into him.  For he is in our tragedies and heartache every bit as much as he is in the miracles.   He’s there to comfort us in our pain and draw us more deeply into himself so that we can be more transformed to think and live consistent with the new creation in us, rather than be manipulated by the brokenness of the old creation around us.  We can’t do that if we begin with God as the cause of the bad things that happen to us.  

I’m so sorry your grandchild died, but I don’t think God allowed it in any overt way.  That wouldn’t be his nature, any more than you would have allowed your child to go through that loss if you could have stopped it.  There are mysteries about God we won’t understand in this life, but the fact that he loves you, loves your child, and loves that little girl who was stillborn is the one thing we do know.  And as we grieve the pains of this world, we keep finding a life in him that goes beyond this age participating in a greater redemption that is unfolding in the world.  So in the chaos of our lives today, we get to look for the seedlings of that new creation popping up around us, like grass poking through the asphalt in a parking lot.  We get to grieve with him (and each other) where we hurt, and we get to rejoice in his goodness as he does extraordinary things in us.  And all the while his kingdom of light keeps growing even among the kingdom of darkness.   It’s what makes the unbearable, bearable. 

And some day when you sit with that little girl in the kingdom of our Father this will all make sense far more to us all than it does today. 

I got this email over the weekend and loved it.  She’s really angry at God and wants to know if it’s safe to let him in.  I wish more people were like her.  I meet so many people who have a deep anger or disappointment in God but are either too afraid of him to let him know, or too busy trying to pretend otherwise that they miss the transformative moment. Every good engagement with God begins with naked honesty.  

I’ve listened to The God Journey podcasts for around two years and read a couple of your books.

I have a question: Is it okay to be angry at God?
I feel so angry and I’ve been pushing it down, because I’m terrified that Papa will be angry with me or will abandon me for expressing anger at Him. I’m 20 yrs old and don’t really have a close connection with my family or really have any close friends, so Papa is really all I’ve got and the thought of Him being angry or ignoreing me is frightening!