Wayne Jacobsen

The Lies of Affluence

6 Comments / Culture Watch / February 22, 2016

“Do you have any conflict enjoying the money you have in a world with so much need?”

I had been invited by a friend to attend an investment seminar and there were some high rollers in the room. As I looked around, however, I was surprised to see so many facial expressions that seemed confused by the question. Obviously they didn’t. I do. Every day.

When the speaker went on to ask why not, most responded that they had worked hard for what they had and never thought twice about enjoying a disproportionate slice of the world’s pie. The unspoken inference, of course, is that poor people don’t work as hard so they are only getting what they deserve. It’s only one of the lies wealthy people tell themselves so they can ignore the needs of others as they plunge headlong into their own amusements. But you can only believe that if you don’t actually know people who have very little and not a lot of options to help them move beyond it. And I don’t mean know about them, but actually know them individually.

I was raised a law-and-order Republican. I grew up with a high regard for discipline, hard work, and respect for authority. If you live responsibly and work hard you can get ahead in the world. Disobey a policeman and you risk getting shot. Do something illegal and the consequences should be severe.

But that’s before I caught a glimpse of life through the eyes of an African-American mother who not only fears the influences of the neighborhood on her son, but also any interaction he might have with the police and how it might escalate because of misunderstanding and fear. And I’ve become good friends with a family of undocumented immigrants and see first hand not only the hardships they endure, but also how our culture exploits them for its gain without rewarding them for their hard work.

These relationships have caused me to reassess many of my lifelong conclusions and it’s helped me come to grips with the lies affluent people use to justify their own comfort and suppress their generosity for people in need. Almost everyone screams unfair when they perceive circumstances have been rigged against them, but almost no one cries foul when they benefit from that rigging.

These are the lies you have to believe if you want to live callously in the world. To be truthful, I’ve actually benefited from most of them and grabbed for them whenever I needed to suppress my compassion for those in need. They allowed me for many years to live unaffected by the disproportionate distribution of resources in the world. Having them exposed has been a great gift to my humanity and has allowed me to discover the joys of generosity.

Lie #1: We all have the same opportunities; it’s just that some work harder. That’s what lie behind those confused expressions I saw at the investment seminar I mentioned at the beginning of this article. We love the illusion that a child growing up in south central Los Angeles has the same opportunities as those who grow up in the suburbs or small town America. Didn’t we solve inequality during the civil rights movements of the 60s? Can’t every child go to school, apply herself, get a college degree, and find a better life? We do have enough stories of people who have done it to think it’s true, not admitting that these are still the exceptional stories not the routine ones.

Without hope of a better, the tools to get there, a support network to encourage them they will never recognize the opportunities that may be at their disposal or be able to access them. There’s a reason why there are neighborhoods we wouldn’t chose to live in and schools we send our kids to.

Like #2: If you work hard enough you can be anything you want to be. Whenever someone becomes President or wins an award they claim it is proof that in America you can be anything that you want to be if you dream big and just work hard enough.

On the face of it, that conclusion is absurd. Only a miniscule percentage of people can make it to the top of any profession and those usually had some combination of lucky breaks, helpful relationships, or a gift or talent not everyone has. They want to believe they did it on our own so they can reap the rewards guiltlessly. But it creates so many false expectations. Not every child who dreams of being President, best-selling author, star athlete, a doctor or even an astronaut will get to be one. Competition will ensure that only a few will get to live those dream.

While capitalism gives everyone a shot at success, it tends to reward greed, which is why any industry rewards so few people with exorbitant amounts of money while all the average worker make a pittance in comparison. I’ve never understood the CEO who works alongside support staff who make a fraction of his salary, or the star athlete who thinks he deserves so much more than his supporting cast. Capitalism doesn’t reward the hardest workers, but the well-connected and whatever tinkering the government does with it should be to mitigate on behalf of those on the lower ends, not sell out to those on the upper ones.

Lie #3: Every human is equally valued. By God, yes! By human societies, or even among societies, far from it! Even if we may confess that all are created equal, in practical terms a culture weights its priorities to those in power. Some of us grew up with tremendous support systems, parents that championed us, a community that shared a common value of hard work and self-discipline. Others grow up in communities where it takes every ounce of energy just to survive the influences that pull them into a darker world and every day face biases in society that give them a steeper hill to climb. The cry of “Black Lives Matter” was not to say that others didn’t, but to get the culture to recognize that in many places people of color are less valued by those in power and put at greater risk by them.

Lie #4: Inalienable rights apply only to American citizens. Our forbearers fought a revolution on the premise that all of us are created equal and that our inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are not bestowed by government, but the gift of Providence. When we think American citizens deserve more than others in the world, we undermine our own revolution. When you can hold others in contempt for simply wanting the same things you want, you make the world a poorer place. We would be better served with a more holistic view of the world knowing that none of us are truly free until we all are. Nelson Mandela said it best, “To be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

Lie #5: Illegal immigrants deserve the hardships they endure for breaking our law. They should just go home and get in line like everyone else.

What if they can’t go home because home has been here for so long there’s nothing to go back to? For decades our society has exploited this group both in hiring them at lower wages and denying them access to the lowest rungs of the economic ladder. I realize this is a failure of government to secure the border, and that appropriate measures must be taken to regulate immigration so it won’t overwhelm the culture. Not every child born her should automatically become a US citizen, especially when the parents are nonresidents. We can argue those issues in other venues, but we let them come here, exploited their labor, and shown no will to make them return for multiple decades. It is unjust to let them live in limbo while both political parties use their plight to garner votes when no one is actually serious about resolving the problem.

And those who are not willing to consider a pathway for legality for those who are living in the shadows of American society can’t possibly know anyone who came here in fear of their lives or simply to try and find a way to feed their children. Let me tell you about the “illegal alien” I know. He came here twenty-five years ago because as young man he faced certain death if he didn’t join the drug cartel. He works far harder than I do, and is constantly exploited by employers that increase his work while decreasing his pay, knowing he can’t complain. He pays taxes and has never sought welfare or free medical care. He keeps the laws more than I do because the consequences of being caught are so devastating.

His two daughters are U.S. citizens. A few years ago He sold everything he had to pay $18,000 to an attorney who promised him a way to get a green card, only to see the lawyer arrested a few years later for selling fraudulent documents. No human being deserves to be treated like this and our society should no longer ignore his presence or how we have exploited him. There is enough in America to absorb these extra people. They are already here. They are already contributing and if they haven’t broken the law in other ways we should fight for their inclusion in our society at some level. Even the Old Testament encourages kindness and compassion for the stranger or alien. Oh, that may mean some of us will have to wait an extra six months before upgrading our iPhone, but is that to high a price to pay?

Lie #6: I did something deserving to be born in a developed country with a comfortable lifestyle. No one actually says this one out loud, but you can tell they believe it by how they look at others “less fortunate” than them. Born part way up the ladder of success, they can’t understand the challenges of those to even find that ladder or even have access to it’s lowest rungs.

If where we were born, and what abilities and talents we have is a gift, wouldn’t we be more mindful of those who have less to start with and greater challenges to overcome to find a stable place in society?

Lie #7: Desperate people have choices. We think people can better themselves by hard work and discipline, and for the most part many can. But what if demands of daily survival are so overwhelming that they don’t have the time or energy to do so? Some people are simply victims of crime, war, famine, natural disaster, medical conditions, or psychological brokenness that they have incredibly few choices. Send an immigrant home or telling a poor youth to get a job may seem easy enough from your station up the ladder, but for people trying to survive the next day, the feat may be unimaginable without some help.

People on the margins need help to find a fruitful life in our society. Many of us got that from our parents or the slice of culture we lived in. Many did not. They need someone to be a champion for them, finding the space in their lives and the opportunities at hand to move away from the inheritance of their past and find a better future.

Lie #8: That government can fix these problems with the right program. If you were afraid my discoveries have made me a Bernie Sanders socialist, they have not. While government programs can help address these issues in a limited way, the effectiveness of mass bureaucracies has a horrible track record. My wealthy liberal friends are so certain government can fix all of this by passing laws and redistributing income, and can’t seem to admit that the worst kind of entitlement does not come from the poor who need help, but politicians and bureaucrats who run the programs for their own gain or convenience. We can’t even get government to provide health care to our veterans without huge delays, or waste and fraud by the bureaucrats themselves. Many are more concerned with their lavish pensions, red tape, and extravagant retreats than the veterans themselves.

I sometimes wonder if those who push government for the poor are their way of spending other people’s money to make them feel like they are doing good, when they are not willing to invite those people into their lives and homes. They can pat themselves on the back for doing good without ever making a personal connection among the poor and marginalized. That’s why many of our programs are not about empowering them to a better way of living, but only making them more dependent on the government and the political party that wants their vote. Socialism rewards laziness and dishonesty precisely because it doesn’t involve people in the solution, only dollars. Our government programs are broken, flush with massive waste and corruption. Washington, DC is the most affluent area of our country and they produce nothing except twisted laws to reward special interests as they line their own pockets. Start a government program and within a few years it will be less about the need it was meant to address as protecting the bureaucracy it spawned. Until government officials can be disciplined for incompetence and fraud, that won’t change.

But that doesn’t mean that individuals can’t respond out of a generosity that is born of proximity. The reason why so much of our nation remains calloused to these problems is because they don’t know anyone actually facing them. Until you know people who deal with violence or hunger or have a relationship with an undocumented worker you can ignore their plight and stick with the political view that serves your own ends. Proximity changes everything. Get outside your culture group and engage firsthand the challenges others face then you’ll know how you might be able to help them.

Until “those people” who crossed the border illegally, or live in dangerous neighborhoods become our friends and neighbors nothing will change. Until we see the world as our neighborhood and put faces and personalities to orphans growing up on the streets, children trafficked for sex, or parents starving in war or drought, those situations remain an abstraction and we can hold our law-and-order principles to the exclusion of love and compassion. Get to know some of them, and your heart will change. Jesus told a story about a Good Samaritan to help us understand we are all part of a bigger family and cannot think only of ourselves.

This is where the lies of affluence come to die and some amazing acts of human compassion can begin. When you find people hurting, help them with whatever you have. If you don’t know any, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or a ministry in the inner city. Don’t just give them money, befriend them and you will no longer be able to hide in those lies. You’ll join them in looking for solutions that will help empower them to better their own lives rather than remain dependent on others. You will be a voice for a more compassionate society. Change happens when the powerful advocate on behalf of the powerless, instead of making them fight for it themselves.

And I’m not talking only to the one-percent-ers here. From a global perspective if you have $3,650 of net worth—including the equity in your home—you are among the top 50% of the worlds wealthiest citizens. If you have than $77,000 you are in the top 10%. And if you have $798,000 you belong to the top 1%. That’s according to the Credit Suisse Global Wealth Report. That’s not a merit badge to wear proudly, but an opportunity to look for ways to share with others in the world where children still go to bed hungry or wake up in fear for their lives.

Generosity emerges when we realize everything we have is a gift, and the more we have the more responsible we need to be in sharing it with others who do not have the same advantages we do. It seeks to help them not only by the charity of things, but also by empowering them with the tools to better their own lives.

I know no system that can change the world. I know the generosity that can change one life or one family, one neighborhood at a time. If enough of us buy into that, then the world will change too.

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And the Winner Is….

17 Comments / Behind the Scenes / February 16, 2016

Actually there is no winner. Over three hundred of you offered your thoughts and suggestions to me through Facebook, email, and blog comments to my recent post about book cover designs for The Phenomenon of the Dones. Thank you all for your help. It is greatly appreciated. My artist on this project commented how amazing it was to have so many readers care so deeply about the cover and offer us their input. Some even sent their own cover designs. It is incredibly inspiring to see so many people offer their input and ideas.

So which direction are we going? That was tough. The problem for me was not that there are good covers and bad covers, but that all of them resonated with me for different reasons, and all of had things about them I’d want to tweak. That’s what comps are for, to begin the process and find a cover that is both attractive, inviting, and conveys the heart of what’s inside.

Option 3, the staircase climbing out of the basement, had significantly more votes than the other two options. Though I love that cover, it is a bit more “institutional-looking” than I like, and way more formal. I can see how it really speaks to the journey of someone coming out of a more institutional environment and into greater light, life, and freedom. What I didn’t like about it was that it made the journey of the “Dones” more preferable than those who are still in more traditional congregations growing in the same life, freedom and passions as those who are no longer there.

I loved the mystery of the second one, but not the overly sinister look of it. Some compared it to a Stephen King feature. What I liked was the open door outward, which really gets to the issue of the so-called “Dones” and the feel of those inside who are missing their friends and relatives who no longer attend. As I said, I hope this e-book will encourage a conversation among all God’s children whether they go or not about what God seems to be doing with the breakdown we’re all experiencing with the traditional congregation no longer being the soul source of community, discipleship, and engagement with the world.

So we have reworked Option #2 to a softer image. You can see a larger version of it below.

donescoversingle

The danger of course of letting others give input is that some won’t like it or will have other ideas. In the end, of course, there is no right answer, obviously. Book covers like book reading is a matter of preference and there really isn’t a right or wrong.

Now I’ve got to get to writing the rest of it!

And the Winner Is…. Read More »

When Scripture Terrifies Me

16 Comments / Growing in Trust / February 10, 2016

I realize a lot of well-meaning people think that fear will endear people to God. They pull out any passage that can be interpreted to terrify people, thinking that fear will lead people to holiness. Well-meaning perhaps, but horribly ignorant of the Gospel itself. Jesus taught us that only love leads to holiness. Fear will not draw people to God. It will either draw them away from him, or it will make them so focused on their failures that they can’t find mercy and grace when they need it most.

The entire Bible story was written to draw people out of their fear and feelings of condemnation when they think of God, to see him as a loving Father drawing them into his love and his reality. Look at Jesus. When he was among us he was not terrifying people with his power, but reaching out to them “as harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd.” I am so sick of religious teachers twisting that story by pulling out those moments where God has to intrude into human history to preserve a line of salvation and concluding that they define his nature. His actions are still one intent on rescue, not destruction.

A few days ago I received an email from Germany written by a young woman who finds some of the more ominous passages in Scripture undermines her freedom to trust God’s love. Here’s what she wrote:

I emailed you last year shortly after reading your book He Loves Me the first time. I love your book! Since I read it, I am trying to change my perspective and “live loved”. I really want to live my life for God and do His will without fear. But I have a problem with different fears since I am a child. Right now, I am seeing a therapist for it (he`s not a Christian) and we are working on it. I think God is working on me, too. I realize His love especially through brothers and sisters that I meet and circumstances. However, there are still great fears in me because of passages in the Bible that I do not understand. They really disturb me and make it harder for me to believe in a loving Father.
The passages I am talking about are where God hardens the heart of Pharaoh, Romans 9, the story of Annanias and Sapphira, God trying to kill Moses, God saying he loves Jacob but hates Esau, the fate of Judas, the passage in Matthew 7 where Jesus warns that not everyone calling on His name will be saved, and some passages in Hebrews. Reading all these passages create a fear in me that God may choose to harden my heart as well, or suddenly punish me one day or make me “an object of his wrath — prepared for destruction” (Romans 9) – for I know that there are still dark sides in my heart, that I am far from perfect, and not obedient all the time. I really fear that I might get lost or loose my faith one day, that God chooses to do so because of my sins & doubts.
In this regard, I thought about Judas a lot. Did he ever had a chance? Was he meant to get lost since the day of his birth? And finally, how do I know I am a “real believer” and do not have to fear Jesus warnings in Matthew 7?
I am often telling myself Bible verses that speak of Gods love and that I do not have a Spirit of fear. I also think of your words that fear never does make anyone holy. I talked to some Christian friends about my fears and they said that we will never understand God completely and that I just have to trust & obey him. They said that “nobody can take me out of His hand”, but I wonder, is that true? What about my doubts and sins – can they not take me out of His hand? I am really trying to learn to trust God but whenever I think of those passages I feel discouraged and fearful. These fears make me doubt God and in the end, I do not only feel awful because of my fears, but also because of my doubts, which in turn increase the fear again that God leaves me/hardens me because of my doubts, and thus, this becomes an endless circle.
I am telling God about my struggles often and ask Him often to give me a trustful, fear-free heart, but obviously, it does not happen yet. I am telling myself that He is still working on me but sometimes I fail to believe that. How can I loose my doubts and fears and trust God whole-heartedly, knowing that He will not leave me?

It’s easy to understand why these passages cause such concern. It’s just like the alcoholic father who comes home and beats his wife and kids. He may only do it every few months, but if he does it at all, his family will live on pins and needles always afraid when he comes home that this might be the angry dad. I hate that religion has made our God look like that and creates an environment where people have to either totally trust God or be terrified of him. It isn’t honest and it causes paralyzing fear in people God simply wants to invite to know him better as he teaches them how to live in his love and grow in their trust.

Here’s what I wrote back to this young woman. Perhaps it will be helpful to others of you as well:

There are many more passages (even in the Old Testament) about God’s “lovingkindness is better than life”, where his faithfulness is great, and where his love endures forever. You’re pulling out the most extreme circumstances and applying them in ways they were not meant to. Of course it would take a while to drill down into all of those stories and explain what’s really going on there as a loving Father is trying to keep creation from falling into complete darkness and preserving his work of redemption in the world. His actions in these moments are like a surgeon removing a cancer that will spread, than an abusive dad blowing up in his anger. I recorded a video series (8 hours +) to help people work through all of this. I know that is a lot of time, but it is at least free. It’s called The Jesus Lens and seeks to help people interpret passages like these through the eyes of Jesus. It will help, but I realize it will take some time.

Part of the problem may be that you feel as if you must trust God whole-heartedly and never have doubt. Wouldn’t that be awesome? But it is also unrealistic. God wins us into ever-deepening layers of trust as we grow more secure in his love. Jesus is the “author and finisher” of our faith, because we can’t do it on our own. We all have doubts and God does not reject us for it. Instead he wants to be invited into our doubts, where we can pray, “What is it about your love God, that if I understood it, I would not have this doubt.” This is a journey out of fear and doubt into love and trust. It is a lifetime journey. You can relax in this process as he teaches you. Look at Jesus’ patience with the disciples when they kept misunderstanding what he was about. He gently kept inviting them in closer so they could relax in his love.

Don’t try to completely trust him. Just trust him today as much as you can. Be honest about your doubts and know that he sees you as his beloved daughter and he wants to teach you how to respond to his love and grow in trust.

I don’t believe Judas was condemned at birth. God might have known the choices he mad,e but he was not forced int to hem. Scripture makes clear that God always responds to the slightest attempts to look to him and follow him. Focus on those passages that demonstrate his magnificent love. Those that provoke fear, ignore for a time. Ask God to show you what’s really going on there in his time. But know that his perfect love casts out fear. Fear will not serve you today in any way God wants access to your life. Fear drives us from him not toward him. He doesn’t need it. You don’t need it. Your heart is his or you wouldn’t write the things you write here.

How will you know? Look to him. Watch how Jesus treats the people around him, especially those who are struggling to believe him. Listen to your own heart as his Spirit lets you know how the Father feels about you. You don’t have to trust what others say, or sort through competing conclusions from Scripture. Simply knowing him will make it absolutely clear to you.

I pray you will have the freedom to relax in his love. Walk in it where you see it today. Let the passages you do understand shape your heart, and put those you don’t understand on a shelf until God makes them clear to you. Do so again tomorrow and you’ll find your freedom growing.

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Which Cover Works for You?

60 Comments / Behind the Scenes / February 2, 2016

As regular readers here know, I’ve been writing another book online, this one a special report relating to the latest research on those being called the “dones”, those who are giving up on the traditional congregational model for church and are looking for more relational realities. This series is designed to help people understand what’s being going on for the past twenty-five years or more while inviting the body of Christ from all her expressions to an expanding conversation about the nature of the church and its unity in our day.

Those are going to be combined into a book and since I’m getting toward the end we are working on a cover for that book. Last time, readers of this blog and those who “like” its Facebook page provided some helpful input to sort out a cover for Finding Church: What if There Really Is Something More? This isn’t a vote to decide, but a chance to hear which cover resonates with you and why, which is very helpful for us in crafting a final cover that will serve the project well.

My hope for this book is that it will invite all followers of Jesus Christ into a better dialog about the nature of his work in the world. I don’t want to see yet another division among those who are learning to live in Father’s love, this one between the “dones” and “undones.” We have to see the life of Jesus as larger than the specific way we might encounter his church. For those who attend a local congregation and for those who are finding life in his church beyond it, we need a better conversation that coincides with Jesus’ prayer that the Father would make us all one, even as Jesus and his Father are one.

If you’ve missed this series of blogs, you can find the links on my latest in the series.

Take a look at the covers above. Which do you prefer and why? What would make it better? You can comment on the blog, my Facebook page, or email me with your comments.

Thanks for your help. You all make a pretty incredible focus group.

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Monetizing Ministry

15 Comments / Phenomenon of the Dones / January 29, 2016

By Wayne Jacobsen in a continuing series on The Phenomenon of the Dones. You can also read this blog in Spanish: Monetizando el Ministerio.

“Follow the Money!”

Since Watergate it has been the prevailing wisdom to ferret out excess and corruption in our treasured institutions. There is something about money, especially in huge amounts, that causes people to justify compromising their integrity by making personal gain more important than the Father’s purposes.

As an increasing number of people are disillusioned with the abuse and excesses of our religious institutions many also have a growing awareness that those same institutions have strayed from the purity and simplicity of devotion to Christ. Perhaps they need to look no further than how money and high finance have corrupted the authenticity of the Gospel. When someone or an institution makes their livelihood from the God’s things, it is easy to be seduced into thinking that serving their bottom line also serves the work of Christ.

And while I’m not suggesting it is wrong for people to make their living from their ministry I don’t think we are critical enough in assessing how often the best economic choices are at odds with how God works and thus end up distorting the Gospel even as we claim to follow it. Why have we committed the vitality of his kingdom to the same business models used by every other human enterprise in the world and what are the consequences of doing so?

Isn’t that why we have ended up with a plethora of religious institutions that are more often preoccupied with their own power and security than they are demonstrating Christ’s love in the world? Some would argue that the religious industry we created is just a natural extension of the things Jesus taught, and the way to get his message in the world. However, the excesses and distortions of our institutions say otherwise and many have grown unchecked for centuries. Is it just coincidence that our large institutions pay exorbitant salaries to those at the top or can justify harming others to protect themselves and their organization?

In my last article on this series I concluded that the reason we have more large-scale meetings about the life of Jesus when personal conversations can be far more fruitful, is because we don’t have a business model that undergirds more personal connections. We have an industry for teachers and writers that rewards those who are successful at leveraging the marketplace for money and influence. But not all that influence has reflected well the nature and message of Christ.

Jesus warned us that the reality of his kingdom would not mix well with the human thirst for money and power. The ability for any of us to believe something just because it is in our self-interest is well documented in psychological testing. I’m not talking here about people who deceive others for money, but our ability to convince ourselves something is true that isn’t, so long as we profit enough for doing so. And the more money involved, the easier it is to deceive ourselves and others around us. It’s called cognitive dissonance where we justify what we know is wrong because we feel as if we have to.

I used to teach tithing as a New Testament mandate. I grew up with that conviction and had no problem making that conclusion from Scripture when my salary was drawn from those to whom I taught it. Only when my income was no longer attached to other people’s tithes could I begin to see that God’s purpose in the new covenant was not the obligation of tithing but joy of generosity that would spill out of our hearts. Tithing is a cheap substitute in that light.

The Gospel as a Gift

Monetizing anything changes the nature of it. I’ve watched the apps on my smartphone or websites I frequent all become worse when the goal is to monetize it rather than provide the service for which it was originally intended. Who even remembers Facebook when it was just information about your friends rather than an endless string of advertisements and political posturing? Nothing is made better by monetizing it; in fact it often becomes twisted by benefiting the provider more than the one it was meant to serve. Nowhere is that more true than the Gospel.

When Lewis Hyde wrote about Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in his classic book on creativity, The Gift, he pointed to one of its characteristics that has assured not only its effectiveness but also it’s longevity: participating is AA free, and it always has been. Nothing is bought or sold; no one makes his living from facilitating its meetings. “Local groups are autonomous and meet their minimal expenses—coffee, literature—through member contributions. Those grateful for the impact it has had on their lives, volunteer their time to help others. Hyde concluded, “AA probably wouldn’t be as effective, in fact, if the program was delivered through the machinery of the market, not because its lessons would have to change, but because the spirit behind them would be different.” He asserts that the gift may be the actual agent of change, and that selling a transformative gift falsifies the relationship between the two parties.

Do you hear Jesus’ words, “Freely you have received, freely give,” running through your mind? I do. What would the church of Jesus Christ be like today if it had followed AA’s model of generosity and volunteerism instead of McDonald’s model of franchise marketing? Even AA’s approach has been corrupted when congregations make it part of their ministry with a staff position and a line item in the budget. Though it starts out having a profound impact on lives, it often ends up an object of conflict and competition as people fight for position and ownership.

Part of the reason we have so many different religious institutions has to do with contest for money and power. The larger they grow the more demand there is to protect and provide for the machinery. Jealousies and power struggles are the natural result and the disaffected go off to start their own. We prove we’re businesses when we labor under the ultimatums of large donors, or force departing pastors to sign non-compete clauses to get their severance pay. Once someone has to be paid a salary, or buildings have to be provided, the decision-making revolves around economics and nothing distorts the life of Jesus more quickly than the business model, flow charts, and insatiable need for money. It is no longer a gift; it’s a big business with many depending on its sustenance and growth. Our entire religious system is built that way from seminaries, to churches and publishers.

Jesus said it was impossible to serve God and money. We think we can blend them without consequence but money always wins out, even among those that start out with the loftiest ideals. Money blinds us to the ways God works and the need for it pressures us to do what we wouldn’t otherwise freely choose to do. I know pastors who walk on eggshells each week, knowing they can’t honestly share their journey and not run into trouble with some faction in the church. I worked with a publisher that wanted me to change the content of He Loves Me so the freedom it espoused wouldn’t threaten pastors and they would be more inclined to read it from their pulpits and an editor that wouldn’t print an article I’d written even though he loved it because it might offend the subscriber base and they would cancel their subscriptions. We all know even a few percentage point decline in offerings or subscribers can mean spell a quick end to many of our institutions.

I know that’s hard to see from the inside. Everyone thinks they are doing God’s will as best they know how, rarely considering how much their need for income shapes their actions. I’ve told many a pastor who is critical of those who are done with their congregation, “If you could just step away from all of this for two years, you would be shocked at the things you’d discover when money no longer influences your ministry.” I had no idea myself how much the economic religious systems we’ve created blurred my vision until I found myself no longer dependent on it. What was scary at first turned out to be a great blessing.

In short we get the Gospel we pay for, or click on, and the cost of that means we’re losing the vitality of the life of Jesus. Those who would be leaders have to make it complicated so people will buy their books and attend their seminars. I heard one man say recently to a group of ministers wanting to enhance their income to take their best teaching and craft it into a set of principles. “If you can systematize it, you can monetize it.” Yes, he pinged my yuck meter, but it does explain why we have more five-point plans than we have people ready to equip others to follow Jesus.

Most ministries begin with the question of what has to be done to finance it. From the start money becomes the overriding consideration rather the content of the message they hope to convey. Most conscientious pastor I know would love to be independently wealthy and not be controlled by the boards and expectations of others. They recognize how much it encroaches on their liberty and influences their decisions. It’s not that money is intrinsically evil; it’s that the need for it is inherently deceptive.

“Full Time Ministry”

Yet “full-time” Christian ministry is the dream of so many people and that exists now almost exclusively inside a religious marketplace that generates hundreds of millions of dollars in sales and donations. For some they just hope to find a vocation in the religious industry either to work around Christians or in hopes of finding purpose and meaning. What many don’t realize is how much time you’ll spend managing people, fundraising, and program planning to keep the machinery running and how complicated it can be when other egos get involved.

Not all of this is bad, of course. While some of it genuinely supports God’s work in the world there’s a significant part of it works against him. Many Christian publishers are now publicly traded corporations, whose only purpose is to maximize profits for the shareholders. Other just trade in religious content to carve out a lucrative lifestyle. Is it any surprise that our religious industries function exactly like their worldly counterparts valuing the same things they do—size, influence, money, and notoriety? When that happens you can be sure that we’ve moved from the kingdom of God to a kingdom of our own making. Jesus told us “what people value highly is detestable in God’s sight.” (Luke 16:15) We may still be talking about his kingdom, but we’ve long since ceased to serve it. His kingdom values obscurity over notoriety, serving others over being served, small and flexible over large and rigid, and following his leading whatever it risks instead of making the best business decision.

I’m not arguing that all publishing is evil or that selling a book or that all advertising on a website of itself dishonors the kingdom. This is a heavily nuanced consideration and one that I continue to wrestle with. I have worked for religious organizations, owned a publishing company, sold a lot of my own books all of which helped provide for my family.. That said, there can be great value in freeing up the time of more mature brothers and sisters to help others find their growth and freedom in Christ. That can be a great blessing even though the pitfalls are enormous and we don’t have the best track record over the last 2000 years proving any of us can resist those temptations.

Maybe Watchman Nee had it right in The Normal Christian Church Life, when he offered a different way of thinking for those who make their living by the Gospel: “Every worker, no matter what his ministry, must exercise faith for the meeting of all his personal needs and all the needs of his work. In God’s Word we read of no worker asking for, or receiving, a salary for his services. That God’s servants should look to human sources for the supply of their needs has no precedent in Scripture. No servant of God should look to any human agency, whether an individual or a society, for the meeting of his temporal needs. If they can be met by the labor of his own hands or from a private income, well and good. Otherwise he should be directly dependent on God alone for their supply, as were the early apostles. …If a man can trust God, let him go and work for Him. If not, let him stay at home, for he lacks the first qualification for the work.”

The first time I read that I felt sick. It’s what I’d always feared was true. Who could live that way? It was the stuff of Rees Howells, not Wayne Jacobsen. In the intervening years, however, I’ve been convinced otherwise. We were not given a message of love to turn it into an income stream. The Gospel was never meant to be someone’s source of living; it was meant to set a world free into the love of a Gracious Father.

It’s one thing to make a life or teaching available and live off the generosity that might come from that, and another thing to monetize the ministry, distort the Scriptures wittingly or unwittingly, and exploit people with guilt to increase the money flow. It’s less about where the money comes from than it is the dangers of distorting the Gospel when our livelihood is at stake. If our dependence is on him, there will be no reason to distort the message for personal gain, even if some of the mechanism includes books sales.

I have no problem with people deriving income from their craft, whether it is carpentry, car sales, writing or teaching. This is not an argument against people being in full time ministry. It is the consideration that when we seek to use the Gospel as our income stream we will unwittingly distort it. You’ll know them because maximizing sales is their goal, not helping others find their life and freedom in Jesus. Some can work inside that system as God gives opportunity, but won’t sell out to their ambitions.

It’s not an easy road to walk and I have plenty of regrets about past decisions I’ve made, but the more I’ve learned to trust Father for my resource and simply put things in the world to bless others, the easier it has been to follow my conscience and not financial expedience. Though I sell books, I also give them away and have free resources on my website to help others. I travel at my own expense and do not charge a fee for speaking. I’ve come to rely on God’s generosity and it has made all the difference.

It’s Not about Changing the System, It’s Letting God Change You

Is this article going to change our vast religious industry? No, and that’s not why I’m writing it.

How we navigate that space discerningly is critical to the future of God’s purpose in the world. For most these words will hold no more impact than spitting into gale-force winds, but I’m writing primarily for those who want to be a voice for God in the world, not those who simply want to make their living in the religious trade. I realize there are many writers, artists, pastors, and teachers who prefer to make their living in this industry and aren’t too worried about the larger issue as to how their institution expresses God’s character in the world. For those who care about God’s purpose in the word I hope it makes you wiser as you engage the religious marketplace and encourage you to live differently in the face of it.

When something in the religious marketplace doesn’t seem right to you, look to the financial demands behind it and sniff out whether it is influencing what is being said or done. How do you know? If it breeds an ongoing dependency on the person behind it, if the website is more about building a personal kingdom than God’s, or if it offers formulas and principles instead of Christ then don’t buy into it. They are really not that hard to spot when the website is so filled with ads it looks like a race car or if it promises something for free, but only in exchange for your email address. There’s a generosity inside God’s working that will prevent people from using the same conventions the world does to build up its businesses.

Recognize the difference between a gifted man or woman putting light and life into the world and those who are wrapped up in the machinery of the marketplace and are constantly trying to exploit their audience to maximize their income through sales, website clicks, or charging exorbitant fees for conferences or seminars. Does it look like they are maximizing their exposure and income, or genuinely looking for ways to build others up? Do they fall into the industry trap of producing a new book every year that doesn’t bring anything new to the table? Do they easily move between the “church world” and the business world offering the same wisdom be it in book sales, building your platform, or branding our message. Holding special workshops with their own in-house terminology, so they can train others to do it exactly the way we do it is a sure sign that someone is building their own empire rather than freely sharing their gift.

You can tell money has trapped you in ministry if you don’t have the freedom to follow your heart without risking your income. I know many pastors who stay in ministry admitting they are making the worst of a bad situation because they don’t think they are employable outside of it. If your need is to make a living or pay bills you will make an entirely different set of decisions than if you didn’t have to worry about money at all knowing God would take care of you. The world puts more of a premium on the job skills of those who’ve been in ministry more than the individual himself. Those who have led volunteer organizations, managed budgets, trained others, and can act responsibly are valuable assets in the business world. I’ve seen many former pastors go on to fruitful careers and more time for real ministry with others than they did hassling the politics of a religious institution. Don’t just bury your head and go along for fear God can’t take care of you. Find what he really has for you and as you blossom in it you’ll also find ministry more a joy when it is a gift than a means of income.

For those who want to share their gifts with the body of Christ beyond their personal connections, separate the gift from your income stream or else the lust for influence and security will shape the message in ways you won’t recognize. Let God teach you how he wants to be your provider, whether that’s by some tentmaking enterprise as Paul did, or employment that leaves you some free time to help others. If you can trust God to provide for you and make yourself available, do so. The proof will be in his provision. I’ve seen many go down that road to bankruptcy in presumption of a calling God had not given them. If you have to go into debt to follow him; it isn’t him. That doesn’t mean you have to give everything away.

I think a writer is worth his book sales, or a teacher worth his expenses, just make sure you’re not manipulating people to get what you want. However, if you’ve ever watched someone switch from offering their insights as a gift, to monetizing it every way they can, it is not a pretty sight and their message gets twisted. You can seek popularity or you can trade in the truth, but the don’t go hand-in-hand. Some even boast of making six figures from advertising on their ministry website and even spend time teaching others how to do it, but in doing so they’ve become less a gift to the body of Christ. For most people it doesn’t work anyway. It is not easy to make a living from your creative gifts be they in writing, speaking, video, music, or acting. The creative arts reward a select view obscenely and the rest meagerly. Everyone with a creative bent would love to make it their vocation rather than a hobby, but only very few find enough opportunity to do that. Make it your labor of love and let it grow organically rather than through false promotion and manipulation. If it generates enough opportunity and income to free up your time, be grateful to God but in the long run it isn’t your choice.

Don’t look for things to do to pay the bills. Do what you do because God asks and watch him provide in ways you can’t imagine. If you are more excited about helping others than being known, there is plenty of opportunity already around you. There is so much you can freely give away if you don’t have to worry about being compensated for it.

Let generosity grow. In time, those who’ve been touched by your life may want to help support you to share that same benefit with others. To me this is the best kind of giving, not from the people I’m with at the moment, but from others I touched in the past in gratitude for what God did in them. At financially critical times in my past we’d receive money from someone completely unsolicited who said they’d been touched by something I’d said or written and wanted to help us be able to share it with others. It’s amazing how God provides that way just at the right time and without having to make our need known. It’s a great way for people to help put the kingdom into the world.

And for those who have extra resources to help spread the kingdom support those you consider gifted at helping others in this journey, either by teaching or counseling and know them well enough to know they are living examples of a transformed life. And don’t think I’m not writing this for some hidden need at Lifestream. We honestly don’t need it, but it is a powerful way others can help put conversations that matter into the world without having to create ministries and churches that have expensive infrastructure and priorities other than participating in Jesus’ kingdom. Don’t wait until you’re asked, follow the Spirit as he guides you.

The freedom to give his life away is the heart of real ministry. Admittedly embracing that freedom is not easy and it has a long, steep growth curve. Trust without a relationship and without following his desires is merely presumption. You just can’t choose to trust more, it only grows out of a deepening relationship with him. But where you learn to trust God with your provision you’ll be free from the demands of money that will shape you in the world’s image. Unfortunately institutions don’t reward that process and will usually hire men and women who trust the powers of their office more than the Father who loves them.

I was in vocational ministry from the moment I left college. It wasn’t until I was 42 that I had someone simply ask if they could get my help who didn’t feel as if I was getting paid to give it to them. The difference in that encounter from a thousand counseling appointments I had done in the twenty years previous was palpable and its fruitfulness was far greater than anything I had known. When he left, his gratitude was effusive, because he had received it as a gift, not fulfilled an expectation. That made the impact of our time all the greater for both of us. That moment started me down a different road than I’d known before. Serving others is a gift. There is no way to monetize it without tainting it, so give his life away and watch how his generosity will care for you.

Then you will no longer have to follow the money. You’ll be free to follow the Lamb wherever he goes.

__________________

This is part 10 in a series on The Phenomenon of the Dones by Wayne Jacobsen who is the author of Finding Church and host of a podcast at TheGodJourney.com. You can read the first half here and subsequent parts below:

Part 8: Five Factors Contributing to the Decline in “Church Attendance”
Part 9: An Invitation Not An Imposition
Part 10: The Conversations that Matter Most

If you’d like to subscribe to this blog and receive future posts by email you can sign up at the top of the right-hand column.

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Bubble Gum Alley and a Meeting with John

3 Comments / Behind the Scenes / January 27, 2016

Those of you that have read So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore will recognize the above photo. It was taken in San Luis Obispo, CA where the first chapter of the book was set. John disappears down this alleyway as Jake goes looking for him. We were there awhile back and thought I’d post a picture of it. In case you didn’t believe it, people have been sticking their gum (and other things) to this wall for multiple decades. It is a bit creepy to be sure.

I am incredibly grateful at how this little book has touched lives around the world. I get email every week from people who found this story pivotal in their own journey. One of the more unique ones came in last week from Pooja and I wanted to share a bit of it with you.

I do not know where to begin thanking Jesus for your books and your life. I was born and raised Hindu and changed to Christianity at the age of nineteen. Thereafter for 18 years I was the most “faithful and committed Christian” that you could hope to find. My husband and I served our congregation in any which way that we could. He was both the deacon and the treasurer and I would not miss any opportunity to sing, teach or pray. However the spiritual emptiness that built inside of me caused me great depression and made me question my belief in Jesus.
To make a long story really short, I was on my way to agnosticism/atheism when the Lord met me in my closet in my home (My testimony starting from Hinduism leading up to this point is recorded in my book, And Then There Was Jesus.). Following this moment there was a very painful exodus from my church/community. The Holy Spirit kept on leading me to be like the apostle John. I felt like it meant taking a break from all religious activities and just spending the time to love and get to know the person of Jesus better and to start writing about Him.
I really doubted this inner voice. It was against everything I had been taught and whenever I missed my church friends the doubts would creep in. One day I prayed to the Lord to validate the thought that he wanted me to be like John and you cannot imagine my shock when I found your book So You Don’t Go to Church Anymore! Your book sits by my bed and reading it one time has not been enough. Whenever doubts creep in I go to different sections of this book and read it randomly and feel peace! You are an example of what God can do with just one person who follows their inner convictions no matter what the cost. I cannot say thank you enough!

Thank you, Pooja, for taking the time to write and let me know. I am honored that this book would be such a source of confirmation in your own journey and pray he will continue to lead you onward in his life.

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Hooked on a Feeling?

3 Comments / Encouragement / January 26, 2016

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“If God loves me so much, why can’t I feel his love?”

I am convinced that the Father’s love through Jesus is a tangible reality in the life of a believer. We may begin this journey by an intellectual conviction that God is love and that he loves all of humanity, but until it becomes a knowable reality in our lives it will be difficult to hold on to when difficult circumstances arise.

But I hesitate to say that’s a feeling, because people then look for God to give them a “feeling” of his love and are often disappointed when that doesn’t happen the way they expect. Here’s a recent email exchange that may shed some light on this dilemma:

I have been asking God to reveal His love to me… and I have been just letting it be what it will be. The greatest struggle I have is wondering where God is. I know He never leaves me or forsakes me. I have the knowledge of that. I’ve just been so very confused. I am finding myself wondering if I’ve somehow been looking for a “feeling” of love as that’s what the religious way taught me. “Do this and you will feel good about your relationship and God’s pleasure over you.” The more I did the closer I felt… the more right I felt, the more godly I felt. You get the picture. So now that I’ve dropped the performance I don’t feel much.
Let me share this from my blog with you? “Today I was reminded of the days I stood outside the door of my child. I longed to go in and get them yet knew if I did it would prolong what they needed—rest. So I waited outside. I was never far from them. I was right there, listening, attentively to the sounds emanating from their tiny bodies. Nothing could stop that. Could it be that on my long nights of pain as I cried out He stood just outside the door waiting, as I did with my own? Could it be it’s what I needed the most? As I remember the days with my own I am left to wonder. Has He been standing outside the door allowing the weariness to take over my soul leading to lead me to a new place of rest? This is a game changer for me.”
Is there an aspect of the religious way that encourages a love based on feelings? Or is that just me? The question I find myself asking is what am I expecting God’s love to look like anyways? I would think this is part of the purging of religion when you’ve been as performing as I have.

That is a game-changer. However, I don’t see God just waiting outside, but actively at work inside to draw your mind and emotions into that space where he makes himself known. That’s where the analogy breaks down. But from our perspective, it might seem like he’s just waiting because we can’t see what he is doing. Knowing his love does not come from performance but in letting him reveal himself however he deems best. It is a process and takes some time because he’s training your spiritual eyes to look in a different direction than they’ve been looking. So, yes, a purging is going on.

Our feelings are important, but they are often misinformed. They always point to something in the way we’re thinking or perceiving life, ourselves, or God. When the perception changes, so will your feelings. As you grow more secure in Father’s love outside of performing you will have more moments of “feeling” his love. It will come in time. All you can do is keep your heart open to the way God is showing himself to you. I suspect some recalibrating is going on. Your feelings were drawn from one source, and God is linking them up to something greater.

While writing this I received a message from a woman in South Africa talking about her own journey. Widowed and sorting out God’s love she wrote this: “Up until I listened to you and Sara I was not-in-denial but dead-numb. Then I cried………. huge sobs…. and now my wings are starting….. to quiver.”

I got goose bumps reading that. We never know what will finally allow everything to fall in place so that his reality becomes tangible in our experience, but when it does your feelings will reflect that reality. So don’t look for God to suddenly give you a feeling as proof of his love. Look for how is love is being shown to you and then your feelings will wrap around that. The knowing creates the feeling; the feeling does not create the knowing.

Hooked on a Feeling? Read More »

Get Your Free Book

1 Comment / Behind the Scenes / January 22, 2016

Just a reminder that from now until January 31, we are sending out a free copy of In Season to everyone who places an order at Lifestream as our gift. And if you order a copy of In Season, you’ll get two for the price of one. This is only for US addresses, since shipping is so costly overseas, but if we can fit it into an overseas order without having to send another package, we’ll include one there too.

I was reminded of this in a message from a friend from Ohio today. Harvey wrote:

I’m investing in another read of In Season… What a breath of fresh air! I’m savoring instead of devouring it this time! The second time around I think I’m getting more out of it.. Thank you for the gift! It is ringing so true to the changing seasons in me ! Helping me relax into His ongoing purposes in me today.

This book takes me back to my roots. I learned to walk with God in a vineyard and the lessons of John 15 have shaped my life since. What does it mean to abide in Christ and how does that lead us to fruitfulness and fulfillment? And how does Jesus work in different ways in the different seasons of our lives? This is not a set of principles to follow, but help recognize the different ways his Spirit works in us depending on what we’re going through at the moment.

This is one of my favorite books. I’m always blessed to hear when others are drawing life from it as well.

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Travel Plans 2016

1 Comment / Behind the Scenes / January 21, 2016

I announced at the beginning of the year that I’ve declared “Travel Request Bankruptcy” since my list of invites has gotten unimaginably long and some of those requests are now outdated. So if we’re not currently in a conversation about my coming your direction and you’ve been waiting for me to let you know, please get in touch with me and let me know you’re still interested. Or, if you have it on your heart to host a conversation in your area and haven’t asked before you can let me know that as well. I’m building a new list of where I might travel.

What does it take for me to come? Very little, actually. It all begins with an invitation. As we explore that we’ll look for Father to give us a sense of purpose and timing and who might join us, whether you want it just for your group or are open to inviting others. There are good reasons for either of those choices and I am convinced that those inviting me will know in their hearts which is best. But there are few places I go that others who’ve read my books or follow The God Journey podcast, wouldn’t also want to join in as well. I mostly help facilitate conversations about the things I’m most passionate about—walking more deeply in his love, the nature of God revealed at the cross, how grace transforms us, or how we engage his church in the world. Some people, however, prefer more of a seminar setting where I’m sharing on a specify topic over a weekend and I’m happy to serve that, too.

And I come without any financial expectations. I have never charged for my travel, not even for the plane ticket. I come at my own expense, and trust that God is able to provide however he desires. If your people inviting me can help share that, I am always blessed but it is not required.

Sorting out my schedule is never easy because if I go very far I enjoy making use of the time by staying on for 10-12 days to meet with others in a given region that also want to have those conversations. That’s why I often post locations before details are settled, because I want to see what other opportunities Father might have while I’m in the area. Last year I put a trip together that took me to the suburbs of Chicago, up to Wisconsin, over to Pittsburgh before I finished up in Northeast Ohio. It makes good stewardship of the travel costs and my time.

I’ve only scheduled two trips so far this year, one a brief swing through Southern California (Redlands, Dana Point, and Temecula) the weekend of January 29-31, and then to Charlotte, NC from April 1-11. It also looks like I’ll also be in Tulsa, OK in late February and Alberta during the latter part of May or early June. There are still plenty of open slots on these trips if you live nearby and have something in mind, but get in touch with me as soon as possible. You can keep an eye on my travel schedule, or access it from the front page at Lifestream.

In addition, there are some other invitations that have my attention and where I sense that God may want to do something this spring:

The United Kingdom
Northern Ireland
Maryland
Charlottesville, VA
Nashville, TN

If you are in these areas or nearby and want to host something, please let me know. If you just want to be informed when my travel details are finalized, please don’t write. A long time ago I lost track of all the people I know, where they live, and who wants me to contact them when I’m planning a trip to their area. So, I have an email list that tracks all that for me now. If you’d like to be notified when I’m coming to your area you can sign up on the Lifestream Email List and include your address. (If you have previously signed up for Lifestream News or Travel Notifications you are already on that list.)

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The Conversations that Matter Most

5 Comments / Phenomenon of the Dones / January 18, 2016

Over thirty-five years ago I was with a group of pastors discussing where we felt most alive in “the ministry”. It didn’t take long for me to answer. It came in those moments when I stood on the edge of a stage, Bible in hand, expounding some Scripture with my voice raised, more words in my mouth than I could get out in a reasonable amount of time and holding the crowd in the palm of my hands as they hung on every word either laughing uproariously or moved to tears by some insight I was sharing.

But I was only in my mid-20s at the time so my ignorance can be excused. I wouldn’t give the same answer today. As I look back I now know how deeply that moment appealed to my own needs more than it served those listening to me. Now I find my greatest joy opening a door for someone to see into a bigger reality and watching the lights come on in their heart.

Look at the contrasting pictures above—one is of me speaking at a conference in Germany a few years ago, the other of me sharing in a home in Brazil around the same time. For most people drawn into “ministry” it would be the one on the left. It is so much easier to follow a pre-planned outline than to risk a free-flowing conversation with unforeseen struggles and difficult questions.

If you were going to be with someone you wanted to learn from, where would you rather be—part of a large audience or have a conversation over a meal? If I was invited to a golf lesson from a famous golf pro I would much prefer he and I alone on a driving range than being in a stadium watching him on a Jumbotron. And how different the lesson would be, too! For the stage he’d talk in generalities and everyone would have to try the same technique hours later when they got to a golf course when they no longer remember the lesson. If was just the two of us he could look at my swing, listen to the problems I’m having, and offer me solutions I could immediately try.

Over the past forty years, I’ve watched a lovely shift in my thinking about teaching and helping others on this journey. I’ve gone from thinking success and efficiency are found where I address a macro audience—a number of people I don’t know through sermons, podcasting, or publishing—to knowing that the most transformative moments come in conversations with people I’m getting to know.

My first wake-up call came over twenty years ago as I sat town for a Tuesday lunch with a close friend of mine. Before we even sat down he wanted to tell me how great my sermon had been Sunday morning. “That was the best sermon I ever heard and I’ll never be the same.” When I asked what had particularly touched him so, he got a lost look on his face as he tried to reach back in his memory. For the next five minutes I watched him squirm uncomfortably because he couldn’t remember one point of it, not even the text. He begged me to help but now I was intrigued to see why he was so excited about a sermon he couldn’t remember two days later. This was not a man given to empty flattery. It made me wonder how effective a lecture is as a teaching tool.

As I’ve traveled over the last twenty years, I’ve been particularly aware that the smaller and more interactive the conversations were, the more enduring fruit they produced. I now know that the engagements that happen before and after the meetings have the most impact on others. Riding in a car, sitting down to a meal, or just pausing to answer an individual question all have more impact. That’s why I prefer to stay in homes not hotels, and prefer conversations to speaking engagements.

As I read the Gospels now, it is easy to see that Jesus spent a lot more time in personal engagements than he did lecturing crowds. He talked with the Pharisees; he didn’t debate them. He was in their homes as well as those of his friends. He found a boat trip across Galilee a propitious place to share the reality of the kingdom as he did sitting beside a well in Samaria. He sought out Zaccheus for lunch when a large crowd was seeking his attention on the street.

Before you point out that Jesus also spoke to large crowds, I’m well aware of that. I am not suggesting that they are evil only that they aren’t the most effective way to help people embrace the life of his Father. It has caused me to think a lot about what I do in macro or micro engagements. Macro engagements include speaking to groups, publishing books or website content, or producing podcasts or other recordings. I do a lot of that because I enjoy it and feel called to but some information in the world that way. So I’m not against it but I am realizing how limited it is.

Though Jesus spoke to crowds, he didn’t seek them or gather them. He didn’t organize and promote any meeting; they found him. Even then, many in the crowds left confused and unengaged. It was the extra time he spent with his disciples and others that helped them get what they had missed earlier. The most formative moments in my journey have not come from lectures but personal engagements.

I’m not saying large crowds are evil and small crowds are good. This isn’t an either/or discussion. We can make room for both, even as we recognize that the reality of Jesus’ life passes on better in table-sized conversations than in large-scale meetings. What’s bothering me is that so many people, especially those who aspire to ministry pursue the macro engagements in speaking and publishing, spending more time trying to build an audience of strangers than grow in conversations with people they already know. So many are worried about expanding their influence, building their platform, fighting for speaking engagements, and pushing their books or podcasts hoping to gain traction as an expert, when the greatest opportunities to share the kingdom live in the relationships they already have. Everyone gets to participate there, not just gifted writers or eloquent speakers.

And unless our space in the macro world doesn’t grow out of our lives at a personal level, it can easily create an environment where the realities of the kingdom are easily distorted. The lure to have influence gratifies our ego if not our pocketbook. Dazzled by the lights and popularity of the stage many buy into the false notion that those who occupy it are significant people and their words reflect God’s heart. But do they really?

I’m not convinced. The macro conversation values the wrong realities—the youthful entertainer over the wise sage, the energetic entrepreneur over the servant, and the manipulation of crowd dynamics over the integrity of open and honest dialog. It prizes the well-crafted illusion for the depth of our character. Audiences really don’t know the speaker in front of them, only the illusion they want to create and there may be little connection between them.

We need to look no further than the allegations against Bill Cosby, who lived for decades as an admired man on the stage for his humor and insight and yet seems to have used that notoriety to exploit women who sought his help. The fact that we don’t know tells you everything we need to know about the stage and how little we know about the person on it. I met one popular Christian author who was sleeping with his girlfriend while he was going through a divorce. I asked him if he had any conflicts between his writings and his current lifestyle. “Oh, you think I’m trying to live what I write?” he said as if I was from another planet. “I’m not. I’m a writer to a Christian marketplace. This is how I make my living, I know how to write what they want to hear.”

How many times have you been disappointed to discover a person’s public persona was at odds with their private life? Anne Lamott wrote, “The most degraded and sometimes nearly evil men I have known were all writers who’d had bestsellers.” The most nonrelational people I’ve ever met have written books on relationships. Watching how someone treats their spouse, their staff, and others around them will tell you far more about them than anything they share on a stage.

Not everyone on the stage is a fraud, there are some who offer a genuine and compassionate voice, but they are few. The pursuit of the stage twists something in us, putting self-promotion above people and most become a caricature instead of a genuine person perfecting cute slogans and three easy steps that never work. To hold it you have to perpetuate the illusion and manipulate people around you. That’s why people on a stage act differently than anyone in real life, with the tones they use and the demeanor they display. They live in illusions creating fake communities to appeal to the need to belong, offer “special” wisdom and insight to put them above others, and convince people they’ve never met that they love and care about them. Why can’t we see through the fakery of it all?

Meanwhile people of profound wisdom live right down the street from us untapped. The men and women I’ve met on this journey who are the most Christlike and have impacted me the most don’t live on a stage or have a website. They are content to know their love for others and engagements with them are far more fruitful. So we must use the macro world advisedly. It is not evil, it just lends itself to honoring the wrong realities. Celebrity culture disfigures almost everyone who touches it. It is easier to be perceived as expert on a stage than live as a brother or sister on a journey. It allows you to pontificate unchallenged, and say things to people you wouldn’t have the courage to address face-to-face. How many sermons have you heard that were thinly veiled admonishments to someone who had offended the speaker? I’ve done it, too, to my regret but it’s a coward’s way out.

I wouldn’t discourage you from putting your voice out there however God gives you opportunity. I do all those things because I know it can help people I’ll never meet, but at the same time I know that those things are not the most significant things I do. Perhaps they should take about the same priority in our lives that we see in the gospel, about 80% of our time in the micro conversations that matter, and only 20% to faceless audiences as a way to plant seeds. And that 20% is best when the crowd is organic wanting to seek our help, not when it has been contrived through self-promotion.

Let’s value our personal engagements more highly. This has not been a philosophical shift for me; it was an experiential one first. I began to notice where the kingdom really thrives and it is rarely on a stage. That environment is too one-dimensional offering principles in a one-size fits all format, rather than helping someone make a next step in their journey. On a recent flight home I ended up in a conversation with a broken man that was far more powerful than any other conversation or presentation I had on the trip. It reminds me again that God really rescues one sheep at a time and the real power of his kingdom comes in a personal engagements and growing friendships rather than events, outreaches, or meetings. So look for the next conversation Jesus has for you, with an old friend on the phone, a stranger in line at the market, or a neighbor across the fence. Nothing else offers more opportunity for people to engage God’s reality.

The “Dones” that I’ve met aren’t looking for a more engaging sermon, but a different environment where people learn through dialog, where they are not pressed for conformity of thought, but to explore their own transformation. This doesn’t minimize the gifts of teaching and encouragement, but reframes them in a different, and far more challenging environment where the quality of someone’s character is more important than their ability to turn a phrase.

Of course, the elephant in the living room we haven’t discussed yet is the business model that underlies these two conversations. It is easy to monetize the macro conversation. Our culture is set up for that. But it is impossible to monetize the micro conversation and for those who seek to make their living by the Gospel, that is a problem. Or is it? We’ll look at that in my next installment.