Wayne Jacobsen

We Have Returned!

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You people are the best!

No, not those in the photo, although they are pretty awesome, but I’m talking about you—the people who read this blog.

Sara and I just returned from a ten-day vacation in the Caribbean we got to share with our kids and grandkids. We had such wonderful time and a what a great opportunity to relax with our family. Since I was not going to be off the grid mostly, I asked that people hold their emails until I returned since I would be off the grid during my stay.  And. You. Did.  I received the fewest emails ever in a ten-day stretch and just had a few to reply to this morning as we are settling back in. I was deeply touched and grateful to all of you who resisted the urge to write me during that time.

And what a vacation it was, too!  It couldn’t have gone better. I got my relax on with some golf, reading, beach time, snorkeling, swimming with the grandkids, walking with Sara, and best of all, the great conversations that come from spending so much time together. It’s a vacation I’ll remember for a long time. I’m thankful our family was able to get away together.

My vacation read this year was Grant by Ron Chernow.  He’s a great historian and I’ve read other works of his about some of our former presidents. Now that I’m helping a friend with a civil war-era novel, I was really looking forward to getting into this book. It has not disappointed! However, I had some other books to finish up first, so didn’t get to it until until well into our time there. Thus, I’m only half way the 1,024-page read but am finding it fascinating. History really does give us context for our own lives and interactions with others, and reminds us of horrible times people endured in our nations history.

I’m amazed at two things so far: the pettiness of generals and politicians even in war time. While young men are dying on the battlefield, they are squabbling over who can get the most power. When a field general showed great promise in war tactics, they would pull him from the field and bury him in paperwork somewhere, because those above him were afraid he’d outshine them and they would get reassigned. At times, as they did with Grant, they would make up rumors of being drunk on the battlefield, simply to discredit it him.

The other thing that amazed me is how so many of the generals on both sides of the conflict had been friends before. They knew each other each other well from having been at West Point together and many fought side by side in the Mexican War.  Now they are pitted against each other. How horrible that must of been! In fact, when the Confederate forces surrendered to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House, three of those surrendering had been in Grant’s own wedding party well before the war.  How easily “an issue” can pit good friends against each other as mortal enemies.

It amazes me how we expect that people will be honest, treat us fairly, and that we will be rewarded on our merits. We are always so shocked when people don’t turn out to be who they present themselves to be, or we are confronted with circumstances we don’t deserve. The Bible is full of that, too. We should know better. Life is unfair; people will treat you horribly just out of petty jealousies and personal greed; and not all sacrifices are well-rewarded, at least in this life. It reminds me to keep setting my heart in a better kingdom with a Father who is not only incredibly loving and tender, but honest and fair. Not all will be settled in this age the way we think best. He won’t always do what we want, but he will never fail us. Even through the brokenness of this age he can guide us, setting us ever more free from the tyranny of our own desires, to find a greater freedom in the knowing of him.

Next week I am leaving for a brief trip to New England. I’m doing a retreat at a campsite in Winthrop, ME the weekend of July 13-15, then hanging on for a few days with friends in Maine before heading south to Reading, MA for a few days.  You can get details and contact info here if you’re in the area and want to join in while I’m there.

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The Beginning of My Pharisectomy

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Today, Sara and I leave on a ten-day vacation with our kids and grandchildren. We’ve been looking forward to this for a long time and having a break from our normal lives. However, that does mean our offices will be closed until Monday, July 2. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, but we’re a two-horse operation here and both horses will be gone! However, we will have someone handling book and audio orders for us during that time. If you can hold everything else until we return that will be a gift to us. We tend to come back from such things with inboxes way too full.  So, if you can hold your emails until we return, we would be grateful.

As we go, let me share an email with you I received recently. I love hearing how people who have been schooled in religious performance come alive in the reality of the Father’s love. Pharisectomy is a fun word I first heard a number of years ago in Alaska, from a then seventy-two year-old woman.  What a great way to express having your inner Pharisee cut out so you can discover in every deepening ways just how loved you are.  Unfortunately this is not an easy or quick operation. I’ve been on mine for 24 years now, and find there are still traces of that inner Pharisee running around in there that crop up at the strangest moments. I’m glad to recognize them, though and asking him to keep peeling back the layers that sets me ever-more free to live more freely in the world as his child.

Here’s the letter:

Because I grew up as a missionary kid, I knew all the verses that God is love, but I never believed it for myself.  Although I have the best loving and caring parents they were missionaries, growing up in boarding schools I lived unloved as a child. I tried to win God’s favor and the favor of people for my whole life.

I married a pastor from a conservative denomination, and I got worn out and frustrated by all the “dead works” in the name of for God, Then I read He Loves Me! That was my biggest gift at the age of 50. For the first time I GOT IT!!!!   I am a much loved child!!!!!!!

I have since read that book ten times, as it started my “Pharisectomy”.  Every time I read it, it reveals a new Truth and expose new layers of misconceptions. Your book reveals so much Truth – it sets me free from my prison of performance and wrong perceptions. But so many wrong  perceptions was set in cement in my head over 50 years – it takes time to be “unset” out of hard cement, then be replaced by Truth, and then to live it practically. Fortunately the Holy Spirit is there to do it.

I received In Season the day before the April holiday. What a revelation to me! I have always believed that you bear fruit throughout every year.  I never understood the four seasons that lead to fruitfulness. I also thought the Great Commission was more important than the Great Commandment. I was experiencing a harsh, hot summer at my work place, but then you helped me to embrace my summer and stop praying “Rescue me,” but rather: “Let your name be glorified. Into your hands I commit my spirit.”

My biggest struggle was and still is to trust God, due to misconceptions and bad experiences growing up poor and now struggling although we are “working for the Lord.” Your book Beyond Sundays exposed so many lies I believed about ministry and church and missions. It helped me ignore the guilt and shame that haunted me and to let me enjoy my winter. And let God prune me.

Thank you for the revelations that set me free at an age of 50. I was a full blown Pharisee and my pharisectomy has not been easy, but its wonderful and the best thing that could ever happen to me. God used you mightily in my life. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Letting go of the guilt and shame that makes you feel unworthy of Father’s love is a valuable lesson for all of us. The spiral of unworthiness is debilitating, and every circumstance will seem to prove the deception. Knowing you have always been worthy of a Father’s love, not because of your performance, but because you are his child, will continue to set you free in ways you can’t imagine.  Ask him. Believe him. He’s really good at this stuff!

___________________________________

And if you missed my TEDx talk on “Differences Do Not Make Us Enemies,” you can view it here.

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Finding Our Way to a More Generous Conversation

5 Comments / Culture Watch /

Are you as tired of all the rancor in our national dialog as I am? Do you know most of it is contrived to fan the flames of fear or advance someone’s agenda? We can’t seem to simply disagree anymore; we have to vilify our opponents in the hope of garnering enough support to force our desires on the other half of the citizenry. And many Christian groups just play along, fomenting the hostility they hope will give them an advantage in forcing their way of life on others. Is this what our founders foresaw when they spoke of, “a more perfect union”?

Of course not! Maybe if we just stopped and listened long enough to those who disagree with us we would see them as fellow-citizens with similar hopes and fears to our own. Then we might actually respect each other in spite of our differences and together seek the kinds of solutions that would be in the best interests of all of us, not just a few of us.

No, that isn’t possible with every issue, but I promise you we could find a lot more common ground than our current process allows.  It can be done. I’ve helped people do exactly that across some of our major cultural controversies and explain how on this video taken from a TEDx presentation from last March in Abilene, Texas. It finally dropped this weekend and is now available.  You can view the embedded version below or if you have trouble with it, view the video here.

Finding common ground with people who have different worldviews than ours, is really a matter of applying the so-called Golden Rule to our relationships:  “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”  Who to you want to exclude as an “other”?  Liberals? Conservatives? The GLBTQ community? The poor? The undocumented immigrant? When Jesus said “other”, didn’t he mean all others? If we will respect the freedom of others as much as we want them to respect ours, we will find our way into more graceful conversations, and the chance to work together toward more enduring solutions to the problems our society faces.

More than ever we need a courageous group of people willing to turn the tide of our national animosity and lead the way into those conversations that heal our divide and offer respect to our fellow human beings. If you find yourself in agreement with what I say here, please help me get the word out. I’m not selling anything here, just hopeful that there is a more excellent way than the one we’ve chosen. If you want more resources, please see my BridgeBuilders website.

Share it however you can with whomever you can and see if we can’t have an impact on turning the tide of animosity in our country (and I suspect in others as well). Starting in our own relationships of family and friends as well as in your social media feeds. Encourage people turn down the anger and really listen to others.  You’ll find there are more of us who want fairness and compassion in our society, rather than animosity and arrogance. The future of our republic just might be at stake.

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Learning to Live Loved

3 Comments / Encouragement /

I’m finishing up my two weeks on the east coast this weekend Raleigh, NC with an amazing group of people who have been through a lot of pain, but are still finding their way into what it means to escape the clutches of religion and embrace a life in the Father’s love.  So excited to be here with them and share together what Father’s been teaching all of us.

If you’re in the area and want to join us on Saturday night, we’re still have openings.  You can get the info here. Then, I finish up Sunday morning with some people who are engaged in a ministry that uses horses to help troubled kids. Later that afternoon I catch the big bird home.

Twice in the last week, I’ve had people mention how much an interview I did in 2015 really touched them.  Here’s what one wrote me a few days ago:

These two 40-minite pieces are packed with more relevant and badly needed Truth than almost anything you’ve written. Those two piece makes it clear: the bottom line reality is that simple: learning to live loved ! That simple sentence says it all. The American church has lost that Truth.  (Emphasis theirs)
So for those who may have missed them, or didn’t even realize they were there, you can watch below.  I’m grateful to Dan Madison and Jeff Herr who put this together. The interview is in two parts.  Enjoy!

Learning to Live Loved: Part One

Learning to Live Loved: Part Two

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Is He Really That Good?

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How do we know for sure whether God is loving and gracious, or cold and distant?

I understand that you had some input on the story-line of the book the Shack. I have read the book and watched the movie. Do you think that is who God really is? It just seems too good to be true on so many levels. I know some people struggle with the Old Testament God versus the gracious Jesus. However, for me even Jesus seems a little cold and distant in ways when I read about Him in the gospels. Nothing really like the Jesus in the Shack. I’m not sure how to change my mind about the religious beliefs I’ve had for so many years. I still have a hard time believing that God is that good.

I love The Shack, and, yes I did help in the collaboration that produced the book and movie.  Is that who he really is?  That’s the best the three of us—Paul Young, Brad Cummings, and myself—could come up with, but I’m sure it falls way short of expressing all that he is. I keep discovering in my growing relationship with him that he is more loving, more gracious, more patient, and more powerful than I can conceive.

If you haven’t already, I’d encourage you to read He Loves Me. I published that book almost a decade before I got involved with The Shack, and it is a great way to explore the theology behind our collaboration. You’ll find some phrases pulled directly from that book became part of Mack’s story as well. I don’t know where you’re getting “cold and distant” in the Gospels, but when I see him with Peter and John, the woman at the well, Zaccheus, Mary of Magdala, Nicodemus and others, I’m touched by his tenderness and patience as he invites them into the transformed life of following him.

At the same time, please be assured that knowing who he is doesn’t come from making conclusions out of reading books or even the Gospels. I value the Scriptures, but they alone can’t teach us who he is.  Look how many different conclusions various traditions come up with about God from reading the same book?  Some see him as a demanding deity, always disappointed in the failures of humanity. Others see him as an amorphous blob, uninvolved in humanity’s story. I see him as a gracious Father, rescuing his children from brokenness and transforming us over time to take on his glory.

How do we know for sure who he is? He is his own person and he has presence in the universe. He wants to show you and in fact has been doing so since before you were born. Unfortunately we find it too easy to block him out in pursuit of our own ambitions or trying to manage our own pain. But whoever turns back toward him, he will begin to make himself known again. Ask him to show you. It is this revelation of Christ that gives us confidence in his nature, and sets us free. The Scriptures show us how we can open our hearts to him, but they invite us to follow him.  As we do, we can then check back what we’re learning to make sure we are still inside what Scripture revealed of his purpose and nature.

Jesus wants to show himself to you. But don’t expect a blinding light from the closet. Let him soak into your consciousness as you simply look for his fingerprints in your life. What is he saying to you in your worst moments? In your best? What is his demeanor toward you even when you fail? What is he nudging you toward or warning you to back away from? These are all knowable, though it takes some time to let that relationship develop. God knows how hard it is to see that through the religious lens you’ve been given. And he’ll be patient to show you. This is a big deal, letting the God of the universe soak into our consciousness where we grow increasingly aware of God-With-Us!

So, to answer your question, the Jesus I know is way better than the one we wrote about in The Shack, and at the same time he is marvelously consistent with what I read in the Gospels as well.

Ask him. Watch every day for the little ways he seeps into your consciousness. Be patient. He’s really good at this.

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Off to Virginia, North Carolina, and Maine (Eventually)!

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After an awesome month at home, I’ll be headed out this week to Virginia and North Carolina.  I so enjoy the people I get to meet when I travel and realize how precious it is to get to spend so much time with people on this incredible journey of learning to live loved, and learning to let Jesus take shape in them as they engage the world.

This past Saturday afternoon, I was in one of those conversations in my home with a group of people who had previously not met each other.  What a joy it is to plumb the depths of so many topics and issues that help us live as Jesus’ disciples in the earth!  These are teaching sessions in the best sense, not people listening to lectures, but taking part in a conversation that is as illuminating as it is encouraging, where people can speak freely about the questions and struggles of their own journey without feeling judged.  It was a rich and rewarding afternoon to be sure.

This coming weekend I will be in Norfolk, VA, and Richmond, VA.  After that I’m going to find my way down to Raleigh to hang out with some people I barely got to meet last time I was there. They wanted to know if I’d come back for more conversations.  I’m excited about that.  If you are in that area and want to join us, please see my Travel Page for all the contact details. Since most of our meetings are in homes, I don’t publish those addresses online. Also it helps for the homeowners to know how many people are coming. In Raleigh, our open time for others is Saturday afternoon and evening.

After that, I’ll be taking a vacation with my whole family. Sara and I are really looking forward to ten days with our kids and grandkids.  After that, I’ll turn up in Winthrop, ME in mid-July, where I’ve been asked to anchor a retreat of campers at a Christian campground there.  It’s open to anyone who wants to come for the weekend of July 13-15. I’ll be sharing on Friday night, Saturday morning and evening, and Sunday morning as well as hanging around for conversation all through the day.  You can get more information on the campground here. Come join us if you’re nearby. I can remain in New England a bit longer, so if anything is in your heart that direction, please get in touch with me as soon as possible.

After that, I’m till not certain where the wind will blow. I am considering opportunities in Kelowna, BC and Calgary, AB.  Hey, I like hanging with Canadians, too!

I enjoy traveling the way I do. I don’t plan long in advance, nor do I have to fit in a bunch of conferences where I speak at people for an hour or so. I get to be with people as the Spirit seems to arrange things and so often find myself just at the right time with people who need what he’s given me to share.  I am always amazed at how he times those things and let’s us know how to fit into his plans. Honestly, it’s freaky sometimes.

And for those of you who want to be notified if I’m planning a trip to your area, you can always sign up for Travel Updates on our email list by including your name and address. That way you’ll get an email if something is coming together near where you live.

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Conflicted Thoughts on a Day of Remembrance

8 Comments / Culture Watch /

Last November I was in Belgium amidst the cemeteries of the fallen in World War I. They were everywhere, in the middle of farms, along riverbanks. These men, mostly from England and Canada, were buried on the battlefields where their young lives ended. It was especially touching to me because my own father fought and was wounded in Europe, but in the Second World War, where so many of his friends died.

On this Memorial Day I am reminded of so many feelings I had standing in those cemeteries and looking at the thousands of graves of so many men whose lives ended at an all-too-early age. It was eerie and sobering.

hold in my heart great honor for those who have gone to war to protect the freedom of others. While our military has not always been used for just and moral purposes, that does not diminish in my heart the service of those who have risked their lives or lost them in the service to country. War has taken way too many young people, often because of some pathological despot, who wants to dominate the world or at least protect their own authority. And I count among them too the innocents who’ve been slaughtered in those conflicts, even today. I think of the children dying in Syria, who will never grow up and have a chance to know love, marriage, friendships, and creativity in God’s world.

I’m am frustrated at the political leaders who sacrificed young men and women merely to protect their political careers. As the The Vietnam Series by Ken Burns and Lynn Novice revealed how Kennedy, Johnson, and Nixon all knew that war was unjust and unwinnable but continued to send young men from my generation into its caldron because they didn’t want to be the first American President to lose a war. They lied to the American people every day about it.

While the US still does much good in the world, I am still gravely aware of the moral authority our country has lost in the world over my lifetime. Yes, the world is more complicated, but it doesn’t help that we have used our might, not always to help others, but to further our own interests.  Our foreign policy has the stench of arrogance, and it has cost us severely. We force our will on others, instead of engaging with allies in genuine coalitions. I travel enough to know that our reputation in the world has suffered and few look on us now as a beacon of morality, generosity, and humility.

And I’m completely dismayed that so many have fallen for the drumbbeat of “America First,” failing to see how it only angers other nations. Yes, our government needs to look out for our best interests, but one of those interests has to be our generosity to the “least of these.” How can we who have so much be otherwise in the world?

I grew up a Christian nationalist, my passion for America tightly tied to my perception of the kingdom. It isn’t anymore. I’m not sure when or how it changed. I’m sure in part it came from having my illusion unmasked that our country is no longer a “beacon on the hill” of morality and hope. It is woefully corrupt and paralyzed by selfish interest rather than fighting for a common good. But I also hope it is also from the love of an expanding heart that no longer stops at the contrived borders humanity has drawn. I know there’s no way to erase them, but we can look beyond them. I wasn’t born here because I was special or deserving, and those born in more desperate cultures are no less humanity than me.

The children of war-torn Syria, cartel-infested regions of Mexico, or the drought-riddled plains of West Pokot, hold no less value than my own grandchildren. Those of us who live in the  affluence and relative safety of the West, are invested with a greater responsibility to find ways to share it with those who lack.

So while I honor today the memory of those who gave their lives in service to their country, I’m aware that honoring their memory is more than pausing by a flag or a parade, but working for a better country and a better world where despots have no opportunity to subdue people under them.

Oh, and here’s the famous poem written in those Flanders fields I was walked in a few months ago.  It’s why poppies are such a poignant symbol on this day. It is also an appeal to the living, to ensure that their lives were not given in vain.

In Flanders Fields
John McCrae, 1872 – 1918

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place, and in the sky,
The larks, still bravely singing, fly,
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead; short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe!
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high!
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

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A Christian and a Muslim Walk Into Common Ground

2 Comments / Behind the Scenes /

I was asked this week to appear again on the podcast, “A Christian and Muslim Walk Into a Studio“, hosted by Bob Prater and Emad Meerza. Bob is a long time friend, and I’m really enjoying building a new friendship with Emad.  This time I put them through their paces walking them through the Eight Proven Guidelines for Civic Engagement that I used to utilize in my BridgeBuilder trainings years ago:

#1:  You can’t compel people to change their worldview.

#2:  No one should be asked to participate in a society biased against themselves.

#3:  Vilifying those who disagree with you says more about you than it does about them.

#4:  Making room at the table for divergent views does not validate those views.

#5:  You best protect your civic freedoms by protecting those of people who disagree with you.

#6:  If you do not include all the stakeholders you cannot fix the problem.

#7:  Cooperation cannot require compromise of our deepest convictions.

#8:  The best solutions arise from seeking highest possible consensus.

I think you’ll enjoy the conversation.  You can watch the video of our conversation here, or find it on iTunes if you want the audio version. Just search, “A Christian and a Muslim Walk into a Studio.”

There’s also a new episode of The God Journey up today, called Breaking Up With God, which has Brad and I seeking our own common ground about those who are losing their faith in God.

Additionally Bob, Arnita, and I have already sorted through two of our chapters for the collaborative book, The Language of Healing, and am thrilled with where that might lead.

Interesting times…

No wonder some call him Jehovah Tdsnikki.

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A New Farm in North Pokot

9 Comments / Kenya /

The last few weeks have been crazy and I’ve not had much time to update this page. And it looks like that might continue for awhile. I’m just back from nearly two weeks in New York, and after a day at home, a quick trip to Orange County, CA to share about He Loves Me with high school students who study the book throughout their junior year. What a great, and I’ll admit, challenging time!  This week I’ve been asked back to tape my third episode of A Christian and a Muslim Walk Into a Studio with my friends Bob and Emad in Bakersfield.

Then, next week an old and dear friend comes to town to get my help on his Civil War era novel about two kids coming of age, that has fascinated me for the past three years.  (I can’t wait until you can read it!)  And if you would like to meet Bob and Ellen Stamps, we’re having an open get-together at our home in Thousand Oaks, CA on Saturday May 26.  Write me for details if you have an interest in joining us. Then, I’m off to Virginia and Raleigh, NC in early June. After that I’m looking at trips to Maine, and perhaps western Canada.

Yes, I know it all looks out of control, but this seems to be where grace has led me. Unfortunately it doesn’t leave a lot of time for writing. But that’s OK. I’m enjoying the conversations I’m in every day and the life I see growing in others. When I see God write his unfolding story in a life, that is far more fun than doing my own. I love writing, but I love how he writes most of all.

The purpose of this blog, however, is to update you on our work in North Pokot. It still amazes me every time I tell the tale, and people seem to ask me about it almost everywhere I go. Who would have thought that God would ask us to help 120,000 tribal people in North Pokot build a sustainable economy when their nomadic way of life was destroyed by a five-year drought when no one else would?  Who knew that we had so many people so willing to give freely to help them discover a new way of living? There are no other NGOs (non-government charities) in the area and very little government help, though that is growing. Who would have thought that my audience from my writing and podcasting could have such a profound impact on a small corner of the world. I am overwhelmingly grateful for all those who have helped.

We are now in the beginning of our third year of a five-year (Lord willing) process to help these tribes deal with their most basic needs:  water, food, education, wellness, and micro-finance. Our coaches have helped the people of Pokot to seek alternatives for their own needs and then combine 50% of their sweat equity with resource from us.  The hope is that at the end of this process they will have enough sustainable resource to take care of their own needs. We are making tremendous progress and have just now committed to our fourth and final agricultural project. Now each of the four tribes will be able to use water from the wells we drilled not only for themselves and their livestock, but also to grow their own vegetables.  The other three projects are producing amazing crops to feed the people. (See picture above.)

The fourth is in Kalmeri village. When they heard the others were growing their own food, they wanted to as well. A rumor had come to them that if they acquired solar panels from the county government, Lifestream would build a farm for them, too. That’s not really how it works, but they went en masse to the county government to request solar panels for their village.  After some deliberations the county gave them the solar array they needed. We had hoped to space these projects out over the course of a year, but we have almost been doing one per month at a cost of $34,000 each in addition to the regular money we send each month to help these tribes make their transition.

This is even more amazing when you realize that not too many years ago these tribes were at war with each other over land and cattle, each trying to scratch out their own existence. They often fought and stole each other’s cattle.  The reports we get back now are just amazing, of building a new life, cooperating with each other, and finding the light of the Gospel to guide them.  How awesome is that?

And to watch these children in the farm makes it all worthwhile.

If there ever was a time you wanted to genuinely help poor people, without anyone else siphoning off money for administrative fees or other benefits, this is it. All contributions are tax-deductible in the US.  And as always, every dollar you send goes to the need in Kenya.  We do not (nor do they) take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Sharing With the World page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Thank you again on behalf of the people of Pokot for your gifts and prayers on their behalf.

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When Spring Arrives Overnight

4 Comments / Encouragement /

May 3 does seem a bit late for spring to arrive. But we were in upstate New York after a brutal winter. Four days before we were watching snow flurries.  A day before Sara and I had taken a walk and commented on the dark, grey trees that lined the horizon. It was May, and there was not even a hint of green among the trees.

The next morning, however, as we drove Sara to the airport to begin her journey home, we were amazed how spring had arrived overnight. All the trees had popped and the, fresh green leaves of new growth shaded the country side in a beautiful shade of spring.  The rest of my time there, I got to watch spring wash over a region that had waited way too long for its arrival.

It reminded of an email I’d received a few months ago, of another spring arriving on a desperate soul.

About a year ago, I was struggling with a profound sense of feeling spiritually dead. We were attending a small “Bible believing” church and I was bored with the preaching and even more burned out from “serving.” I figured it was from a prideful heart and not “being in the Word enough” so I began diligently reading the Bible which led to questions, which led to searching and eventually back to Jesus. He guided me toward a number of resources out there, which of course I was told not to trust because these people didn’t have “sound doctrine”.  It’s a cliché but the only way I can describe it was escaping the matrix.

My husband and I were in agony about “leaving the church” and our pastor gave us the warning about following sinful desires of our heart, but we bravely and as quietly as we could stopped going. After that I found your ministry and wow! What a joy it was for us! My husband found himself saying, “I actually find myself loving people again.” I feel as if like you, we went through a pharisectomy. We very much miss the friends and community that was the best byproduct of our Sundays, but we are becoming more intentional about loving people in our neighborhood and really loving our children.

I know not all Christians experience the conservative legalism we did and God doesn’t have a prescription for His church.  Who knows where the Spirit will lead us, but I’m actually happy again and I used to think being happy meant I was somehow being sinful. When I ponder on God, I no longer feel this terrible conflict or confusion about His character, I only feel His affection and freedom.

What a story! I love to hear when people awaken out of the dreary despair of religious performance. Starting your pharisectomy is a lot like waking up to spring. To hear she’s “finding myself loving people again” and to “actually be happy again,” fills my heart with joy.

Of course we know that spring doesn’t really arrive overnight. Long before those trees burst into color on May 3, the sap was already running to the far corners of each branch and stem. One day, we could finally see it, but the process had been going on for a long time. I love that the Spirit was already drawing her into those realities before she and her husband found their way there and that anything I said had only helped affirm what God had already put in their hearts.

So if you find yourself today stuck in your own winter of your own spiritual discontent, don’t give up hope. The hunger Father has placed in you is doing its work. Just because you can’t see it yet, doesn’t mean he isn’t stirring things deep within your soul. One day it will pop out and your pursuit and patience will all be worth it.  This is in his hands more than yours. Ask him to help you relax in the moment as your own spring approaches. (If you want more detail about this process, it is the theme of my book about the vineyard:  In Season:).

It’s never easy to push away from religious performance, especially when others warn us not to and our friends no longer trust us. But it’s the road worth taking and you’ll never regret finding love and joy again.  If we could only learn to lean out of those things that make us restless, exhausted, anxious, or obligated to someone else’s expectations, and lean into those things that express love, hope, rest, and joy, we would find the journey far more engaging.

The sudden burst of spring, took my breath away. Hearing stories like this lady’s does, too. Can you imagine what it will be like when we awaken from this corrupt age into the full glory of what it means to be God’s children in a new heaven and a new earth?

 

 

 

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