Wayne Jacobsen

Seeing How God Works

Fall Newsletter from Lifestream

For most of my life I’ve tried to do God’s work, instead of doing mine.  And, honestly, I wasn’t very good at it. That didn’t keep me from trying, however.  That’s why in recent years I’ve come to love the prayer Paul prayed for the Colossians and to make it my own every day:

“Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works…  As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. (Colossians 1:9-11 MSG)

That’s what I want.  I want my mind and spirit to be so attuned to God’s will that I can acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which he works. I wish someone had taught me that when I was younger. When we don’t have any understanding of how God works, we’ll spend all our energies trying to be God to others. Even on our best days, that will only make a mess of things.

  • When I was a pastor, I thought it was my responsibility to build the church, when Jesus said he would take care of it. (Matthew 16)
  • In sharing Christ, I thought I was supposed to bring the conviction of God, when Jesus said that was the Spirit’s job. (John 16)
  • I thought the body of Christ was called to walk in unity, when Jesus asked his Father to bring us there. (John 17)
  • I assumed it was my responsibility to be better for God, instead of coming to the end of my human efforts and learning to trust his power. (John 15, Philippians 2)
  • I don’t have to figure out the times and seasons of his return, because that is in the hands of the Father. (Acts 1)

Learning how God works changes everything! He’s not a projection of our better selves, but Wholly Other, who thinks and acts in ways that confound my natural mind. When we think we know best, for ourselves or others, we usually end up working against him rather than with him.

Jesus asked me to love others like he’s loving me, to proclaim with my life and words the reality of Christ, and to help those who want, to know the God I know. It has become a major focus of my walk now to see what God is doing and how he’s working, especially when he isn’t acting in the way I think he should. When he’s not doing what I think is best, what is he doing? That’s where we learn how different, and how much better his ways really are. It is so much easier to live inside what he asks of me today, when I see, if even just in glimpses, how he is working in people and situations around me.

It helps me be more patient, because I realize God is not in the hurry that I am. It makes me softer toward marginalized and hurting people, because I know he doesn’t always wave his magic wand and fix everyone’s need instantaneously, and more often he wants me to be his gift to them. I’m not so settled on my ease and comfort because I know there isn’t any tragedy that he can’t work in for incredible good. And when I’ve given up trying to change me, I give up trying to change others around me as well.

I’m still learning to take my cues from what Father is already doing. Ask him to show you in the very circumstances you’re in right now. Instead of giving into anxiety and trying to fix them yourself, ask him to show you what he is doing. When you know what he’s doing, then you’ll know how you can respond in trust and be part of what he’s doing.  It’s more fun than trying to do his job, that’s for sure!

 

A Huge Harvest in Pokot

Progress continues in Kenya, and I’m always blessed by those who help us. In the last couple of months, the pumps in the Living Loved Petrol Station (see picture above) that we built to support the orphanage, died after eight years. They were only meant to last five.  We had to replace them at a cost of $24,000. They are learning now to set funds aside each month to replace them at the end of the next cycle.

The four agricultural projects in Pokot have branched out to five and the produce has been prolific. You can’t imagine the joy and awe of people who have been nomadic throughout their history, to be able to grow their own food! They are euphoric, and grew so much that they had new expenses as to how to dry and store the produce for future months.  And thanks to so many of you who have continued to send in your gifts to help. We’re 2.5 years into a 5-year plan to help them gain some measure of sufficiency.  Even the local government has taken notice of these agricultural projects and are helping out as well.  If you have extra to help in this process, it will always help. As always, every dime you give us ends up in Kenya. We take nothing for administrative or financial transfer fees.

 

Travel to Year’s End and 2019

I head to San Diego County this weekend, and then after a brief trip through Wisconsin, Tennessee, and South Carolina, I’m returning home for year-ending (at least as far as travel goes) minor surgery on an old broken toe. I need a bone chip removed, which is working its way into a joint, but it will put me on injured reserve for the rest of the year. So, I’m going to be staying close to home through the holidays.

As far as 2019, I’m already praying about possible trips to: Northern California, Georgia, West Virginia, West Texas, Upstate New York/Toronto, Kenya, and Southern Florida. If you have anything on your heart, now is the time to let me know.

So, during the rest of this year I’ll be able to give some time to the three book projects that have captured my attention.

  • Lucien’s Crossing, my friend’s delightful tale of two boys, one a slave, the other the master’s son, growing up in the pre-Civil War south, through the Civil War itself, and then in its aftermath in New York City. It is an occasionally humorous, and always gripping adventure story where religion and faith hang in the background of our views of war and racism.
  • The Language of Healing, with co-authors Bob Prater and Arnita Taylor. Three common Americans look at the vitriol in our political and personal conversations and how to move away from the politics of polarization to have conversations about important matters in ways that bring healing rather than division.
  • The Healing, a novel I began in 2005 about how the gift of God draws us out of religious performance and into a way of living that is real and transformative.

 

A Man Like No Other, by Wayne JacobsenChristmas Shopping

As you consider gifts for friends and family this year, keep in mind the books and audio available in the Lifestream Store. Especially, A Man Like No Other is an excellent gift for people as it re-tells the life of Jesus without all the religious stuff we have added to him.  It’s book of paintings done my award-winning artist, Murry Whiteman with text by myself and Brad Cummings. It’s not a children’s book per se, but I know families who use it for a devotional because the pictures draw the kids in and the text often provokes lots of questions.  As a special, we are reducing the normal sale price by $5.00 until Christmas Day.  (As always with international  orders, please email the office for a quote. Shipping rates are always off for those orders.)

 

Discussing Community on Confronting Normal Podcast

Wayne was in Kelowna, BC recently at the invitation of the two young moms that host, Confronting Normal, a podcast that helps us rethink what “normal” spiritual life might look like. While there I recorded a two-part interview that is now available on their podcast. They asked some great questions and we processed some wonderful things together. If you’d like to listen to them you can get Part One here, and Part Two here.

 

In Case You Missed It… 

Here are some of the podcasts and blogs that have generated a lot of interest over the last couple of months.

Podcasts at TheGodJourney.com:

Wayne’s blog at Lifestream.org

Seeing How God Works Read More »

My Ukrainian Adventure

My oldest brother, Rod, went to college with such a passion to be a missionary to the Soviet Union that he double-majored in Russian and in Biblical Studies. When the iron curtain finally fell, my brother was so hampered by his battle with multiple sclerosis that he was unable to go. He eventually died in 1999, just short of his 49th birthday, after years of praying for the people of the former Soviet Union. So, when I get invited there I make every effort to go in his honor and to love the people he carried in his heart and his prayers for so long. I was in Russia seven years ago and spent the past weekend in Ukraine.

In addition to the Ukrainians that joined us, we were also enriched to have people from Israel, Armenia, Bulgaria, and Moldova, and such rich people they were, too. The hardest part of traveling is how connected I become to people even after only three or four days together.  Leaving is always difficult, not knowing if I’ll ever get to see any of them again. This weekend, I was enriched by their faith, played out in the difficulty of a country transitioning out of Soviet domination, while still at war with Russia on their eastern flank. I was amazed at their hunger for the real things of God and the price so many had paid to follow their heart instead of the religious conventions of others.

Since this was only a five-day trip for me, I spoke through the stupor of a persistent jet lag that never allowed me to get a full night’s sleep. Often I lay awake at crazy hours and used it to pray for the day ahead. But each time I helped facilitate a discussion, my mind was graciously alert and my heart alive with passion for how I might be able to help or encourage them. The first good night’s sleep I’ve had in over a week came last night after I returned home to my own bed. Surprisingly I slept through the night and woke up wonderfully refreshed this morning.

It is never easy to be with people whose language I don’t share. While there were people who would translate for me in personal conversations, I felt like I missed so much depth in the stories they were telling me. I felt like I’m just scratching the surface of who they are and what they’ve been through. And, of course, translating takes extra time, which means we don’t always get to the heart of a matter before someone else comes along and the conversation shifts yet again. Even so, I found my heart touched by their love for God and each other and their desire for a deep and vibrant walk with the living God.

The picture above is of some time around the fire our last night at the camp. Even though I could hardly stay awake as we sang and shared, this picture brings back such rich memories of my time there, the people I met, and the stories I heard of faith and courage.

On Sunday afternoon after the conference had ended, some people took me around the city of Kiev to show me the sights—World War II memorial, where the army gunned down protestors of the government five years ago, a delightful chocolate shop, and a seemingly endless stream of religious buildings with golden, onion-shaped copulas, like the picture below.

Isn’t it tragic, that we call buildings like these “churches”, and few people would use that same term to describe the people in the picture at the top of the page? If anything, however, the picture at the top is a far more accurate characterization of the reality of the church in the world. It speaks of people, shared life, relationships, and following God together the best we can.

Like most people, I find the ornate, opulent, religious structures of Europe fascinating in their beauty and architecture. I just cringe when anyone calls them a church, or thinks they represent God in some special way. They don’t. If anything, they represent skewed priorities of religious leaders who put opulence over people and power over love. That most were built on the terrified backs of peasants trying to curry favor with God or alleviate their guilt makes it all the worse.

Remember, Stephen was stoned for saying, “… the Most High does not live in houses made by human hands.” That reality still makes people nervous today, and makes it difficult to justify the incredible wealth we have (and still do) put into buildings. And yet, if you want to find God, you would be better off looking for him in the people around you than in any building, as impressive as it may be.

With special thanks to my hosts and all the people I got to meet in Ukraine.

 


On an unrelated note, the first of a two-part interview I did with the ladies of Confronting Normal has just released.  It’s about community and you can find it here. This is how they described it:

Community is a complicated topic. It’s a conversation laced with many layers, a wide variety of interpretations and definitions, and typically, it comes accompanied with a ton of painful baggage and unmet expectations.

But in this episode, Cindy and Renae get the rare opportunity to sit down face-to-face with author, speaker and fellow podcaster, Wayne Jacobsen, as they explore this important conversation from the comforts of Cindy’s living room – a fitting location for such a relational topic. Together, the trio share openly and honestly about the struggle and beauty that is community. In the end, they consider that perhaps community should really just be called … friendship.

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From Canada to Kiev

I just got back from Canada and am getting ready to head out to Kiev. This will be the strangest trip I’ve ever taken to Europe. I had a friend a few years back go to Russia for three days and I thought, who would fly that far for three days?  A few years later, I am doing the same thing. God has a rich sense of humor! I looked for other opportunities in Europe and nothing seemed to fit. Though I had a lot of friends in Europe I could have visited, nothing seemed to have the breath of Father on it. So, I am going to Kiev to meet with brothers and sisters who are wanting to help others grow in relationship with Father and be catalysts for community in their locales, and returning home after three days.  And, I suspect there’s something going on here at home that God wants me back for.

He Loves Me and So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore have been available in Russian for over a decade. They have really resonated with some hungry hearts there. I got to go to Russia seven years ago, and now I’ll be spending time in Ukraine, which is at war with Russia.  Other than the long flights both ways, I am looking forward to seeing what God is doing among our brothers and sisters there.

I had a great time in Canada last week. Starting in Calgary staying with some good friends and a return visit to a community there who really look to help others live in Father’s love. This time there was a lot of focus on the content from In Season, which has really had an impact on a number of lives there.

Then it was on to Kelowna, BC for more connections there at the invitation of Cindy and Renae, the co-hosts of Confronting Normal, a podcast about discovering what true normal is, not simply trusting the scripts we’ve been given. I taped two podcasts with them as well as being part of some gatherings that brought the community together. We had a Friday night discussion about, “What is the Church?” on a back patio, a gathering to talk about Beyond Sundays in a video studio (sorry, it wasn’t taped), and a morning conversation on the beach about raising children in Father’s affection.  We even got in a late Sunday round of golf at one of the most spectacular golf courses I’ve ever had the blessing to play. What a great time with lots of deep conversation and plenty of laughter too. I love that God has room for both—the seriously engaging, and the hilariously freeing.

There were a few ninja photographers there who sent me a lot of pictures I can share with you, if you’re interested….  Above you’ll see us on the beach for our discussion of parenting in a relational way.

Me with Renae (left) and Cindy (right) the hosts of Confronting Normal on the lakeshore

Our evening discussion about the nature of the Church in the world

Talking about Beyond Sundays

What a way to finish—great fellowship, good golfing, and spectacular views

I am grateful that God allows me to engage the people I get to be with all over the world, and the experiences we have together. So many people are exploring a different journey than conventional religion would dictate and finding Father to be all he said he is. And, oh yes, I made biscuits, 3 times.

Just this morning, I received a note from someone I met on this trip.  “I wanted to add my thanks to everyone else’s for taking the time to come and pour into us and our brothers and sisters here. We so enjoyed our “hang time” with you and a friend of mine was so impressed with your heart to make yourself available to chat, and to serve people right where they were at. She mentioned how much this was in contrast to the ‘big speaker-names out there’.  So we bless you and Sara, for serving the Kingdom at large – both at home and abroad; your sacrifice of time, energy and finances doesn’t go unnoticed!”

Invariably when I post something like this, people always ask, “How do we get Wayne Jacobsen to come where we are?” It all begins with an invitation, and then some prayer to discern God’s purpose or timing in it. When Sara and I and those inviting me sense that it seems good to us and the Holy Spirit, then I go. I do not charge for my coming and pay for all my own travel. If those inviting me can help offset those expenses, then great, but I have no expectation that they do so. Father always has a way to provide for what he desires.

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If You Do Not Enjoy Him, You Will Not Long Follow Him

If you know my wife, Sara, you know there are two things she loves other than family: gardens and dogs. The picture above is of her garden, in which she spends countless hours creating a beautiful space in the world. She’s also one of the most conscientious dog lovers on the planet. Whenever a new pup comes into our home I shake my head and tell her she has won the dog lottery. You wouldn’t get more love and care from anyone else on the planet. If you ever visit our home, believe me you will want Sara to treat you like a dog! It’s a high honor here.

Occasionally those two loves come into conflict as they did a couple of years ago. We’d just gotten Zoey, a yellow lab/golden retriever mix that was eight weeks old. I immediately left on a trip and when I returned I was writing in my study when I saw some dirt shoot across one of the walkways in Sara’s garden. I looked more closely to see that the new pup was inside one of the hedgerows digging up some freshly planted flowers. Sara was in the back of the garden, seemingly oblivious to the problem in the front.  I felt bad for the new puppy because I knew what was coming—a firm scolding and a swat on the rear-end. Teaching our new dogs to respect the garden has always been a steep learning curve.

As I walked outside and into the garden, I stood looking down at Zoey. She sat in a large hole with dirt and shreds of flowers thrown everywhere around her. She looked up with a dirty face, huffing and puffing, grinning with delight.

“Babe,” I called out to Sara in the back of the garden. “Do you know what’s going on over here?”

“With Zoey?” she responded without even getting up or turning around.

“Yeah, with Zoey.”

“I do.” She didn’t seem concerned in the least.

“What do you know?” I couldn’t believe she wasn’t on top of this.

“She’s digging up my flowers.”  So, she knew!  This made no sense.

By this time, I had come to where she was working and asked her what was going on. “Why aren’t you training her?”

“I was thinking how none of my dogs ever come out to the garden with me when I work here and I wondered if it’s because I get on them for playing in the garden.  I’m trying something new with Zoey.  I want her to enjoy my garden and me in it, so this year she gets to do whatever she wants out here. Next year I’ll teach her how to be in the garden.”

As Sara said all this, I was hearing a voice greater than hers. Wouldn’t that be God’s heart? Would he want us to enjoy him, and by doing that learn how to live in the fullness of his life and joy.

But religion taught us God was easily angered and most often disappointed in us. Even though the Westminster Catechism stated that humanity’s “chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever,” most Christians I met growing up didn’t seem to enjoy God. They feared him. They tried to obey him. Sometimes, they even resented him. I was never taught as a young man how to enjoy God and the life he has given us on this planet, even through its difficulties and pain. It’s only been in the last couple of decades that I’ve learned to enjoy God and his work in me; to want to be in his garden every day.

It’s clear to me that if people don’t learn to enjoy God they will not long follow him. They will manage his presence in their life, more in fear than endearment, obligation rather than joy. I know when I got saved people immediately started telling me the theology I had to believe, the rituals I had to observe, and the rules I had to follow. It did not lead me to enjoy God or participate in his work in the world. Maybe if we taught people to enjoy God first, they would follow him with joy to the ends of the earth.

It worked on Zoey. Now, whenever Sara goes to her garden a ninety-pound lab follows right behind, her tail wagging enthusiastically. She hasn’t dug up anything over the last couple of years and when I watch them in the garden together, I know that Sara got what she wanted most—a beautiful garden and a friend to share it with.

That’s why Jesus came to live among us, “so that his joy might be in us and our joy might be full.” Father never wanted the resentful obedience of fearful slaves, but a joyful relationship with his beloved children inside his creation. Learn to enjoy God, and everything he wants to do in and through you will come to pass.

It is his pleasure to share his kingdom with us, even if we do make a mess now and then!

___________________

If you’d like to learn more about enjoying Father’s love, you might try He Loves Me. I will not write a more significant book than this one. The content of that book was what helped me learn to live in the affection of the Father, rather than trying to appease him by my performance.  We also have a Spanish version of this book that we give away for just the cost of postage. Email our office for details. 

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She is Everywhere and She Is Glorious!

While on vacation in the Sierras a couple of weeks ago we connected with old friends we used to camp with in that area. The wife shared with us some pictures (one of which you can see above, and another further below) that she had taken on a trail we used to hike together. In fact, it was this trail over Potter’s Pass east of Huntington Lake that inspired the theme illustration I use in Finding Church

What if the church of Jesus Christ is more like wildflowers strewn across an alpine meadow than a walled garden with manicured hedges? Wouldn’t that change everything?

Maybe that’s why people get so frustrated trying to find his church, but they are looking at institutions, or home groups of like-minded people instead of simply loving the people God is bringing into their lives. The church Jesus is building is everywhere!  She is not a place or an institution; she is a real, living creation, and if we look for the people who express his reality around us, we’ll find his fingerprints at work.  The following is an adaptation from Finding Church

I realize such a seemingly amorphous view of the church will make many nervous, especially those who think it their God-given duty to manage a group of people on his behalf. The church takes her expression in relationships we have with others who are also following him—local friendships as well as international connections that he knits together.

We’ll first see it reflected in conversations where Jesus makes himself known. Some of those conversations will grow into more enduring friendships that become part of the fabric of our lives as we serve, encourage, and grow together. These friendships will lead to others, and out of that network of friends and friends of friends, God will have all the resources he needs to invite us to agreement in prayer and collaborative actions to fulfill his purposes around us.

Can it really be that simple? This is perhaps the greatest stumbling block to people seeing the church for who she really is. It’s too simple, they think, or too easy. So, they put their trust in the vast array of discordant institutions instead of the present work of Jesus. As we’ll see, finding those connections is difficult only because it is far easier than we dare to believe. In fact, you probably have those growing connections with people, even in the congregation you attend or have attended. I’m only suggesting that your interaction with them expresses more freely the life of the church than sitting in a pew watching the staged activity up front.

Admittedly this discussion about church is not easy to have. Most people want simple, clear answers to heavily nuanced realities. It would be easier to say that all religious institutions are bad, and smaller, more informal groups are good, except that it isn’t true. If we just had an organization that represented the one, true church led by the right people then we would know who is in and who is out, except that every group who has ever tried it has ended up arrogant and abusive in trying to keep it pure.

So, we are going to have to make a distinction in our minds between the church that humanity has attempted to build for two thousand years, and the community of the new creation that Jesus is building. They are not the same, though they can gloriously overlap on occasion. It’s just that our conformity-based structures cannot produce the internal transformation necessary for his church to take shape among us.

And as much as we have to see how our congregational doctrines, rituals, and structures can fail us, I’m not saying they are evil. This isn’t a matter of whether these are good or bad, but how we use them. If they enhance our growing relationship with God, great! It’s when they become a substitute for the relationship we lack that they are problematic.

I agree with the theology of the historic creeds and reading them inspires me. It is not our mental assent that’s important, however, but living inside the truth they espouse. Likewise, ritual can open our hearts into a wider world and help us reflect on him, or it can become meaningless repetition that only makes us feel more distant from the Living God. I’m not against structure, which is incredibly valuable whenever it gives shape to what Jesus is doing among a group of people. Everything I do has structure, from the books I publish, to the travel I arrange, to our work in Africa with orphans and widows. Structure is essential to coordinate people to accomplish specific tasks, but history shows us that no group structure can successfully reflect the life of Jesus’ church for very long. It happens subtly but, over time, people end up serving the structure. They become dependent on it, instead of following him.

In the end, however, no creed, ritual, or structure can contain the church Jesus is building. And strangely enough, neither do any of those things exclude the possibility of his church taking shape among them. Because the church finds expression wherever people are learning to live alongside Jesus in the new creation, it can appear almost anywhere at any moment.

The church isn’t something we can plant or build; we can only recognize it and make room in our hearts when she appears.

This book contains everything I believe about the church Jesus is building. I hope it is helping people get their eyes off the failed attempts of humanity’s doing, and see how Jesus is marvelously putting his church together through the interconnected friendships of people who are growing to know him. Whether or not that ever coalesces into a weekly meeting isn’t what’s important. It’s learning to be loved and to love others the same way. He has everything he needs to bring that family into fullness and life. It’s always been his job, not ours. And, I don’t have to participate in anything that is morally broken, condemning, or bound to obligation just because others call it “a church.”

I love being able to celebrate her reality wherever she takes shape around me, and I find her more breathtaking than any wildflower vista, whether it be in a conversation, a growing friendship, or a weekly gathering of people wanting to follow him.  Our task is only to recognize her when she’s there, and cooperate with his working however he may ask us to do so. There we will find community enough, mission enough, and discipleship enough!

You can get Finding Church in print, e-book or audio. For those who want the printed version for yourself or to give away to others, we are selling them from now through the month of September at a 25% discount ($7.99 per book, plus shipping).  For international destinations, please email our office for a price quote, since the online calculator is often wrong.

This weekend I get to wander in his meadow in western Canada (Calgary, AB and Kelowna, BC) to  see how his church is taking shape among people there.  I’m looking forward to it.

 

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Finding God in the Darkest Moments

A great follow up to my blog post yesterday about Walking In the Fog is the podcast we posted today at The GodJourney.com: Finding Grace in Desperate Times. Even if you don’t listen to the podcast regularly anymore, this is one not to miss.

It’s a conversation with a friend I’ve known for almost 30 years and the life he is now facing with his wife suffering from Alzheimer’s. I love knowing people who are able to find God’s reality in the most despicable tragedies life can throw at them. Would that God would fix them all so no one has to face them, but that’s not the way he works in the brokenness of the world we live in. It’s how he makes himself known in our sufferings that furthers his work in us and in the world.

And to my great surprise, I heard from the woman who wrote the email that spawned Thursday’s blog. That email was nearly three years old and since I’d removed the name from it then, I’d forgotten who sent it to me. But the person who did recognized it and wrote me:

I remember this woman. It took me back to the time I wrote it and sent it off to you.

He has led us into wider space. It is all that you describe and more. He has led my husband and me into space and relationships that we were unable to comprehend at the time. It brings us incredible peace and joy to live simply step by step following him… He calms the storm every time. Sometimes I find myself giggling afterward, saying to him, “How did you do that?” The wonder of it all leaves me speechless and in awe.

Learning to trust him in the fog sets you up for a lifetime of joy, because your relationship with him becomes unhinged from the circumstances you’re in. As Paul said, he knew contentment in times of great abundance, and contentment in times of paralyzing need.  (Philippians 4:11ff). Why?  Because it’s not what’s going on around us, but what’s going on inside of us that matters.

It’s about him, and having him is all we really need!

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Walking In the Fog

Earlier this week I was asked to explain one of the most difficult Scriptural passages from Paul’s writings and they wanted me to tell them what Paul was thinking.  To be honest, I don’t know. And to be even more honest, I don’t really care at this point in my journey.

I picked this up from a dear friend in New Zealand, “When Scripture says something important, it is very clear. When things are not clear, they are not important,” at least for me, on this day. The Age of Enlightenment has left humanity with the angst that everything has a logical explanation we can logically figure out, so much so that any explanations will do, even those that are just made up.  Nowhere is that more true than with Scripture… and life!

We get frustrated at the inexplicable, fear the uncertain, and feel lost when our plans go off-track. We want to figure everything out in air-tight explanations that give us the illusion that we can control our own lives. If that’s your passion, you’re not going to find it easy to follow Jesus. I understand why you want those things. Me too! But our Father’s plans and purposes supersede our logic and understanding at times. He wants us to walk in the security of the light we have, not the frustration of light we don’t have yet.

I got this email a couple of years ago, but I’ve been waiting for the right time to share it. This may be it:

I am experiencing disorientation! When others ask me to explain myself, I don’t have the language to make sense of where I find myself on the journey. My heart gets it, at least part of it, but I just don’t have the words. My head seems to be whirling with condemnation especially as it applies to taking responsibility to fill up the discomfort I have with not doing something. I don’t know how to express it really, other than to say, “doing something” doesn’t seem to be the answer to trusting God’s ability to move me.

My nagging thoughts are to take responsibility and just do something… anything as long as it fills up the paralyzing space. I feel like I’m in a dense fog. I am not afraid, I just don’t see anything. So I am going to wait for the fog to lift and trust that it will. There are voices calling out to me, but it just doesn’t sound like Jesus, so I am going to wait and trust. I have made so many mistakes! I hear the pastor’s voice, “Are you sure about this?” I have decided to wait and trust anyway.

Somehow, I believe wonderful things can happen while you are surrounded by fog. Today I seem to be sitting on a great big boulder blind as a bat.

I love this email, because he expresses what so much of us experience in the early days of this journey. Our hearts are drawing us into his reality, and our head, and often our friends, are trying to pull us back into human logic and reasoning. More damage has been done to Jesus’ kingdom by those who feel the need to “just do something” to fill up the guilt of feeling like we’re not doing enough. Waiting and trusting seem so futile, but there is no place where we’re strengthened to resist the urge to do on our own or to figure out on our own what makes us most comfortable instead of what makes us most alive.

Wonderful things do happen in the fog. Most of our lives are lived in the fog, with enough light and grace for this day, not for all the uncertainties and inexplicable concerns that lie ahead.  The longer I walk this journey, the more comfortable I get not knowing what’s ahead. Everything doesn’t need an explanation. I don’t need a five-year plan to follow. It is enough that he is with me in the fog and knows those things I do not. He will share them with me when I truly need them, not necessarily when I want them.

Yes, there are confident days on this journey and there are disorienting ones.  Fortunately, the disorienting ones will grow less over time, not because you can see farther but because you know you’re with him. You don’t owe other people an explanation that will make sense in their context.  You can simply say, “I feel like God is doing something a bit different in me and I’m going to follow him a bit and see where it leads.  I hope you can love me through this time, because my love for you hasn’t changed at all.” It is time to learn to trust God’s voice more than you trust your pastor’s or that of any other human being.  It’s about being his and not belonging to other people for whatever they desire.

The real joy and freedom of this journey is to grow comfortable in the fog knowing you are not alone.  All our long-term strategic plans were ours anyway and they only provided a false sense of security. How often did they pan out the way we thought?  Learning to follow him comes back to a day to day reality (“Give us this day, our daily bread”).  What is he asking of me today?  Do I have enough today?  What is he showing me about himself today? We seem to always seek principles or a strategic plan to govern us instead of letting his heart and wisdom fold into ours.

Maybe it isn’t about the fog lifting, but you becoming comfortable in the fog because he is with you and there is a much better way to explore his life than having all the answers you want. God is in the fog, in those moments when we most feel alone. And it is in the quiet of our inactivity that he draws us into his work. That has been my experience and it has opened me up into a larger world where there is no condemnation and now ever-lessening fears because I am learning to follow him not my own wisdom and conclusions.

Life is a journey.  Embrace him today in whatever life brings, knowing that he has enough grace and wisdom to lead you to life one day at a time. Soon you’ll find yourself in a wider space where the voices of accusation and those that demand an explanation fade away in the distance.

 

 

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“You Do Know You Can’t Do This Without Jesus, Right?”

I spent last weekend at a camp in Maine, talking with people about a life in Jesus that is more than following religious doctrines or routines. Not all were impressed with my resume when I arrived. One person spoke out in an early meeting about how much she hated The Shack, even though she’d never read it. She said she had many friends who were following it instead of the Bible and it turned her off.

It would turn me off, too. Anyone who replaces the Bible with a work of fiction has some serious issues. But since I didn’t know any of her friends, to know if it was true and she hadn’t read the book, there wasn’t much I could do to help her. To her credit though, having been challenged by a friend, she came to listen to one session. Then came back for another, and then yet another. By the end she told someone, “Perhaps I need to get acquainted with the gospel again.” Both she and her husband gave me a big hug when we finished up on Sunday.  I love it when people are open to listen and not stay hunkered down in their bunker. So cool!

The friend that invited me to come and share at this camp told me a story that I don’t recall hearing before. A friend of mine (who you’ll hear from in an upcoming podcast) had recently moved to the area. He had heard about a Bible study he and another friend were helping to lead in a local church. Their study was on Obedience and they were going through all the action words of Scripture to help spur people on to a more serious relationship with Jesus. In the middle of the study the friend who had recently moved to the area leaned over to one of them and whispered under his breath, “You do know you can’t do any of this without Jesus, don’t you?”

And that’s how they found a new trailhead. That simple question worked its way down to their heart of hearts where two men began to realize how much effort they had been putting into a Christian walk that was exhausting, empty, and fruitless. They had bought into the idea that the Christian life is something they could do if they just worked hard enough. That question started them on a new journey where they would let Jesus live his life through them. That was a decade ago and their lives have been transformed. I met them early on and it was great to reconnect with them this past week.

Apart from him, we can do nothing (John 15). Even Paul said if anyone could boast about the flesh, he far more, and yet since he engaged Christ he put absolutely no confidence in his flesh (Philippians 3). We cannot live this life on our own, no matter how dedicated and radical we think we are. We can do lots of religious stuff, wearing ourselves to exhaustion. Many have tried and when they come up empty on the other side they begin to question whether or not God even exists. That’s not surprising because he doesn’t exist on the other side of our own efforts. He thrives where we cease from our own labors and let him make himself known in us.

I know it isn’t easy and it can be a disorienting process, especially in the first few years. It’s the opposite of what many of us have been taught. The hardest thing we’ll learn is to let Jesus do in us all that we cannot do on our own. He even has to teach us that. Christ in you! That’s the hope of your glory, not how wise or good you can be.

So, if you’re trying to do this on your own this would be a good time to stop. If you’re trying to build a relationship with God, this would be a good time to stop and ask him to show you how he is building one with you. And if you need some encouragement sorting through that, check out the Engage videos on this website. I made them a few years ago to help people relax into the relationship God desires with you, even more than you desire it for yourself.

You do know you can’t live this life without him, right?

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It’s Love, Not Fear that Will Change the World

Today I’m on my way to Maine to spend some time with people at a camp in Maine, and then I’ll make my way down to Reading, MA before I return home. As I go, I thought I’d leave you with an email exchange I had recently….

It always saddens me how much religion uses hell and God’s wrath to keep people in constant fear that they are not doing enough to keep God at bay. The Gospel is not how terrifying God is that we need to cower in fear, but how endearing he is and if we knew that we would want to come running to him at every moment, even our worst ones.

I got this question the other day: “So is God’s wrath resting on a person until they accept Jesus? What is God’s wrath?”

Here’s how I answered her:

God’s wrath is the consuming fire of his love that seeks to destroy the power of sin and rescue us into his love. Does it rest on an unrepentant sinner?  Absolutely, in the desire to redeem them and burn out the sin that is destroying them.  But when they come to Christ, he has already taken all that for us, so we are no longer objects of wrath, but children of God and part of his family.  Now his work in us removes our shame and invites us in deeper…

That’s why God’s wrath is still coming at the end of the age, to consume sin and create a new heaven and new earth.  But don’t look at it as his hateful anger; it’s not. It is the depths his love to purify. It’s the mother bear coming out of the woods to protect there cubs.  We’re the cubs. We can be rescued by that wrath if we want to be…

Her response gave me a chuckle.  “That’s the most life-giving  description of God’s wrath I’ve ever heard.” Who would think understanding God’s wrath would be life giving?  By why wouldn’t it be? It is that part of his love that is consuming the reality of sin so he can rescue us into his life.

What’s scary is that we can’t survive that cleansing power. It’s just too strong. That’s what Jesus did for us.

Why are so many religious teachers fixated on wrath—painting God as an angry and demanding deity as the motivation for people to come to him? They see his wrath as the source of his retributive anger that seeks to punish man’s failure as the way to vindicate his justice. They keep people afraid of God hoping that will motivate them to live more righteously. However, that thinking can only backfire. Fear cannot transform us, it will only exhaust us as it seeks to trigger our own efforts to be better for God. Only love can transform us.

Wherever anyone or anything is provoking fear in you to get you to serve God better, you have to reject it. It will not serve your desire to know him.  Love is the most powerful force in the universe allowing us to be drawn into God’s nature before fear and shame can drive us out. It allows us to hold our sin and failures before God until he transforms the roots of it from within and we become free enough to embrace his life.

So, wherever you can put more love into the world and remove whatever fear you can, especially as it relates to God’s character and his demeanor toward humanity.

I tell a story in He Loves Me and on Transitions #4 that illustrates my view of wrath:

He Loves Me by Wayne JacobsenIt was the most poignant picture of wrath I’ve witnessed. I had taken my family camping in the Sierra Nevada mountains to escape the heat of our home on the valley floor and to soak in some rest and relaxation. I was hunkered down in a lounge chair deeply engrossed in a novel. My wife, Sara, was coming to join me when suddenly we heard screams of pain from our two-year-old son, Andy.

He’d been playing in the dirt not far from our campsite. As I looked up he was stomping his feet and waving his hands wildly. Swirling around him were flying insects, backlit by the sun; Sara immediately recognized them as bees. Somehow he had stumbled into their nest in the ground and they were attacking him relentlessly.

Before I could extricate myself from the reclining chair, Sara was rushing to the sounds of his screams. Even though she is allergic to bee stings and got stung for her efforts, she angrily swatted at the bees as she scooped up her son to run with him to safety. When I got to them she was stroking his head with comfort even as she was panting from the overload of adrenaline still coursing through her veins. Soon she reacted to the venom and we took her to the hospital for treatment.

If you want a picture of God’s wrath, I can think of none better. She was as angry as I’ve ever seen her, but the anger wasn’t directed at Andy nor did it seek his punishment. She simply risked herself to rescue someone she loved so deeply.

That’s what God’s wrath is like. He sees the evil that mars his creation and destroys the people he loves, and he must be rid of it. His wrath consumes evil and wickedness and as such does not exist as the opposite of his love, but as an expression of that love. He must protect and set free the object of his affection.

I’m sure when my son first saw Mom running at him, eyes blazing with anger, he thought he was in trouble. Even though he didn’t know what he’d done wrong, he was already recoiling from her as she approached. Only after she had swept him to safety did he realize he was not the focus of it, but its beneficiary.

Our shame-consciousness does the same thing toward God. Whenever we see God acting to consume sin, we internalize the anger against ourselves. But that isn’t where the wrath is primarily directed. “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men . . . ” (Romans 1:18)

It’s not people God seeks to destroy but the sin that destroys his people. In that sense God’s wrath is far more curative than it is punitive. Its primary purpose is not to hurt us, but to heal and to redeem us.

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Meet My Friend, Tom

Nope, sorry, no new podcast today at The God Journey today.  We’re still on hiatus but hope to have some new episodes up soon. In the meantime…

I often get asked what podcasts I listen to and here’s a new one that I would recommend. Tom Mohn is a seasoned brother on this journey who has not only had an interesting life indeed, but he also lives the life he proclaims.  I call him the Forrest Gump of evangelicalism, having crossed paths with so many household names and been on the edges of some of the most extraordinary events of our time.  What I appreciate about him most is that he has managed to keep putting the kingdom above his own notoriety or visibility. Tom has a grasp of a life of grace and growing engagement with God that is contagious. I hope you catch some of what he has.  You can find out more about him and his teachings at his website.

He was our guest on one of the most impactful podcasts from our earliest days at The God Journey, called The Things God Uses.  If you haven’t heard it, give it a listen.  It’s a powerful example of watching God take the difficult things in our life and turning them into transformative moments.  He’s done some other podcasts with us, too, that you can find in our archive.  A few years ago I recommended a book he’d written about his journey called Good Morning Brother Pilgrim, but I’m sure he meant it for sister pilgrims as well. I recommended it back in 2014, and still would today… unreservedly. You can also order it from his website.

Recently he started a podcast where he shares some of the more formative moments in his journey and how God’s Spirit has continued to invite him to come deeper into the life and love of Jesus. I’ve listened to every one with delight. It’s called Good Morning, Fellow Pilgrim.  You can also find it on iTunes. In his deep and dulcet tone, Tom unpacks his journey with lessons that will encourage and inspire yours as well. They are short, well-thought out out and exalt Father’s work in the world. He’s a reservoir of wisdom and insight and I hope you take advantage of it. I’m sure you’ll be touched.

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