Wayne Jacobsen

Crisis in Kenya

2 Comments / Kenya / December 6, 2019

EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!

You know I don’t hype things here, especially when it has to do with money. But there is a crisis unfolding in Kenya, right where we have been working with several tribal groups. I realize we’re past Giving Tuesday, or whatever crazy ploy was being used this week, but I have an emergency need. I was just informed about a horrific crisis unfolding where we have been investing so much to help abandoned tribal groups in West Pokot. I’ll spare you the pictures I received of dead people, including children trapped in the mud. They are horrific.

The devastation in this part of Kenya is tragically ironic. We got involved because of a prolonged drought that destroyed the cattle of these nomadic tribes in the West Pokot region of Kenya. Now, they are experiencing the first flooding ever in that region, and it has killed 65 people and ruined some of the agricultural enterprises we had started. Their food stores are gone, as are many of the outhouses they constructed for hygiene reasons.

Here is a BBC report on the crisis. I received the following message from our contact in Kenya:

Overturned food relief truck in West Pokot
Right now we are experiencing a flood in Kenya, almost every part and the most affected place are West Pokot, North Pokot, Baringo, Ukambani , Kitale, and many other places. We thank our coaches for the ongoing latrine construction since it has really helped in preventing diseases like Diarrhea, Typhoid and Cholera. Although over 30 toilets have been swept out, we are praying for them not to be contracted with diseases. The local government is taking limited measures in some places to prevent these diseases. Historically, this is the first time this area has ever experienced flooding.
The Kompass/Olorwo, irrigation has been swept, all the pipes and plantation –this is very sad and all the villagers have been advised by the coaches to move the upper side as they see the situation calm down. Also, Chemnyon/Kasoyan irrigation has been affected too. Our coaches are waiting for the flooding to stop so that they can go and see what we can do.
According to the coaches, all the food that it was on the farm and in the storehouse was swept away by the flood, so they are in danger of hunger. Fifty people died in Central Pokot 50 people due to floods and landslides. You can pray for us since the situation worsens day after day.
In the Forkland community, they experience flood but they are not so bad, since they have clean water for drinking, we thank you very much for the support of spring’s water borehole.

Please pray for these people. They have lost so much, including children they love. We will have to rebuild some of the agricultural projects as well and will need to provide relief food and supplies as soon as our team can get in and assess the damage. If you have extra giving to do by year’s end, please consider these dear people.

Funeral for the orphanage security guard

Not only will we need emergency relief funds, but we also paid recently to get the body of one of the security guards of the orphanage released from the hospital after a sudden illness and death. Hospitals will not release the body until the bill is paid. Also, the water enterprise needs to increase its warehouse space to be able to distribute as much water as they can produce. So, the need is tremendous, both short term and long term. If you can help us here, I will be incredibly grateful, as will they.

As always, every dollar you send us gets to Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. You can either donate with a credit card there, or you can mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1 • Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Thank you for your concern and your prayers. And, if you can help in the current crisis, please give generously.

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Let’s Change the Conversation…

8 Comments / Behind the Scenes / December 4, 2019

When you combine courage with compassion, the world can change.

The last two weeks have been crazy launching this A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation, first in Dallas and then in Los Angeles. We found each audience incredibly engaged with wanting to change their own conversations from fear and suspicion to mutual respect and being able to see the world through the eyes of those they have long regarded as “the opposition.” I know what a joy that has been just working on this book and over the last year finding myself seeking out conversations with people who are different than me, not to explain my point of view, but to truly understand theirs.

This is where change begins, not in Washington, but in the next conversation you have and the next relationship you seek out. This book invites you to have different conversations with friends and family, colleagues and co-workers, neighbors, and even strangers. As you move outside your comfort zone with a more generous heart, especially toward those who are different than you, the world can change. I heard a marvelous story yesterday of a friend in traffic school engaging a young man who was being picked on by others in the class. My friend is Hispanic, and the young man was Caucasian, so immediately, the walls went up. But my friend pressed through them, offering to buy him lunch, and by the end of the day, they had struck up a friendship that put the bullies at bay. The young man was so grateful.

We’ve heard from people in the U.K., France, and Spain, hoping this book will also help the polarized climate in which they live. Imagine if enough of us lived more generously in the world, moving past our imagined barriers to care about people who are different from us? That doesn’t mean we become less passionate about the things we care about for our nation, but we’ll also be able to appreciate the concerns of others as well. We are not as divided as our political parties or media want us to believe. There is enough common ground to share our hopes and aspirations and find solutions that are fair to our differences.

We are already hearing from a few colleges and universities that are considering using the book in their cultural studies programs, and from a political party county chairperson who is hoping this book can help build some bipartisan bridges in her own community

Would you help us change the conversation as well?

If so, get the book and read it if you haven’t already.

If you have and think it worthy, would you help us spread the word? There’s nothing more powerful than word-of-mouth recommendation from passionate readers. Here are some ideas that will help more than you know:

Write a review for Amazon (and copy it to Goodreads). It only needs to be a sentence or two. Tell people what you think of this book. These reviews make a huge difference in Amazon’s algorithms recommending this book to others.
If you host a podcast or blog, please consider having one or all of us as a guest to discuss the book.
If you have a favorite radio talk show or podcast, send an email to the host and recommend they do an interview with one or all of the authors. We are all making ourselves available to discuss this book wherever and however the doors open. Listener-suggested topics carry a lot of weight.
On your social media feeds, post pictures of yourself with the book, reading it, or of it laying on your end table or bedside stand. Use the picture from this blog post if you want. There are many more on my Facebook Author page. We want to fill the Internet with photos of the book on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram,
Post your favorite quote(s) from the book along with a picture of the cover, or post how it is changing the way you relate to people in your life. Personal stories are the best!
Feel free to tag us authors, Bob Prater, Arnita Willis Taylor, and Wayne Jacobsen
Use the hashtag: #ALanguageOfHealing wherever you can and link to the website ALanguageOfHealing.com or Amazon sales page wherever it is appropriate.
Consider the book as a Christmas gift to friends or coworkers.
If you’re already in a book group, suggest this one. If you’re not, organize one for your neighborhood or family to discuss how we can change the conversation to one of greater respect and understanding.

There’s no big media company behind this book and we don’t anticipate that the national media will love it since we give them a pretty good knock for increasing the polarization to generate sales and attract viewers. I do think this book is worthy of a hearing in our culture and I am excited to see what might happen if enough people are captured by its message to live a bit differently in their day-to-day interactions.

Thank you for whatever help you can lend us. Of course, what’s most important for all of us is not just getting the book out there, but taking seriously some of the encouragements in the book to live differently and engage people every day with greater generosity and kindness. That’s how the world will change, even if it’s only a small corner of it where you live.

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When You Don’t Get the Miracle You Want, Part 13

8 Comments / Uncategorized / December 2, 2019

Many of you followed the saga of Alan and Lynn (not their real names) the summer that began as In the Shadow of Death and finished as When You Don’t Get the Miracle You Want. It’s a prolonged email exchange with a man whose wife was dying of metastasized breast cancer despite their faith and belief that she would live. She died a few weeks into that exchange, and our correspondence continued into the grief of her loss and the challenge to his faith when he thought his belief would secure her healing. You can read all 12 posts from the beginning starting here if you’d missed it.

I have continued to stay in touch with Alan over the intervening months, and thought I’d add on this one exchange from last week:

From Alan:
Today is 6 months to the day that Lynn died. It has been another difficult day. I am having a tough time remembering her in her beauty and love and kindness, the images of her in the hospice bed dying before my eyes are crowding out the good. Wayne, why did Jesus say “I will” to the leper and “I will not” to Lynn and me when we said we believe He can heal her if He will. We had zero doubt about His ability. I am so broken trying to make sense of my Father saying “no.” I suppose there are no answers now, and even in eternity he may choose to not reveal why. It is our place to just try to trust that He is good even though we don’t understand. I’m trying.

Wayne’s Response:

I didn’t know what day it was but knew this would be a brutal day when it arrived. A day that was so filled with celebration now becomes a marker for pain. That’s what grief is meant to walk us through—to recapture those memories with joy instead of being devastated by them. It does take time. I know we’re perhaps a long way from that kind of thing, but your self-talk now will take you one of two directions—either deeper into disillusionment and despair, or through the darkness of grief and into a light that shines more brightly on the relationship you shared for thirty years.

You know I don’t agree with you about the “I will not.” Do you think the God you know would have listened to your and Lynn’s prayer and for some capricious reason decided, no, not this time? Really? What kind of Father would that be? Her healing was never going to be about you believing enough or saying the right prayers. God’s work in the world is not to give all the good stuff to those who trust him, and all the bad stuff, like cancer, to people who don’t. You asked God to heal your wife. I would too, in the same situation. His answer wasn’t, “I will not,” but it rather might have been…

My beloved son, Alan, there are considerations here you don’t even fathom and couldn’t if I tried to explain them to you, or else I would. It’s not that I didn’t want to, but that I could not, not because I lacked the power or desire to do so, but because of other factors in play that you don’t know about. I am so sorry. I knew you would take that out on me for a time, and I was willing to risk it because I know that at the end of the day your faith would win out. I am good, and Lynn knows that better than anyone living on earth right now. What I did or didn’t do was not about whether or not I loved you or her, but simply that this was the best of all possible solutions for all else that I’m doing on the earth.

I would never ask you to understand that, given your horrible loss and your limited perspective, but I do hope you’ll find a way to trust me in this and look beyond it to see what good I will yet do in you and through you. Lynn is safely at rest in me, and she yearns for the day when you will join us, but there is so much more I want to share with you right where you are. Stay the course. Find your way back to love and trust simply in the strength of my character, not in your ability to understand it. You are mine, Alan. Your time is not yet. There is more day to live until the dawn in which all of this will make more sense.

Alan Response:
Wow! Thank you!. That is the most amazing response ever! You must have been attached to the portal of Heaven because that came from the Father, no doubt! Thank you for being patient and willing to be used by God in my life as opposed to being impatient and preferring to ignore me or tell me to stop bothering you. I love you and thank God for you. I hope that 2020 will afford an opportunity for me to tell you that face-to-face.

Too often, we come to conclusions about God from our limited perspective that are wildly untrue and wars against our intimate life in the Father’s love. If we could only see what he sees, we would understand, and until then, we have to trust what we know of him—that he is a loving, gracious Father, who is not wanting to add to our pain but wants to walk us through it into greater freedom beyond.

You might say we judge God through the knothole of our own pain. We’ve all done it, but it never leads us to what’s true.

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The Puppy and the Garden

1 Comment / Audio/Video / November 26, 2019

It’s one of my all-time favorite stories, of Sara, her garden, and our new pup Zoey from three years ago. I’ve shared it all over the world, and even in a former blog post. But it showed up recently in an interview I’d done quite a while ago in a new video produced by Loren Rosser for Stephen Crosby. It’s called Life in The New Covenant – Part 2 – “Christ in You (us all)”. I asked permission to take out this snippet so those of you who hadn’t yet heard me tell the story, might enjoy it as well. The visuals in this video have been changed from the original to include photos of Zoey and Sara’s garden.

It all illustrates a powerful point: We will not be transformed by the Father until we know him well enough to rest in his love.

Enjoy!

If you cannot see the window above, use this link: https://vimeo.com/375774561.

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Launch Day!

1 Comment / Behind the Scenes / November 19, 2019

Today is drop day! A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation dropped this morning at retail outlets throughout the U.S. I’ve been living inside this book for nearly two years and it is such a relief to finally have it available in the world. We have had a group of advance readers already discussing it and I love what people are seeing in it and how it is beginning to change the way they interact with others. Some of the stories we are hearing are overwhelmingly beautiful. That’s what we hoped for. We didn’t write this book to change the politics in Washington, DC or the angry voices that fill the media echo chambers. My coauthors and I wrote it as every-day Americans, inviting others into better conversations with people in their lives. If the temper of this country changes it will be one life at a time and one conversation at a time.

We held a number of events in Dallas this week to mark the launch and will continue to do this Saturday and Sunday in southern California. If you’re free to celebrate with us, hear my coauthors share a bit of their story, and get your book signed, join us in San Dimas on Saturday for the launch, and on Sunday afternoon with CultureBrave in Los Angeles. You can get all the details here. Just look under Events.

We’re looking for people who are willing to intentionally engage those who look and think differently than they do with mutual respect and compassion. Our subtitle is: Creating safe environments for conversations about race, politics, sexuality, and religion. Learning to speak this language means we will engage people, listen to their stories so that we can better understand their concerns, and then consider how we might share a culture that seeks to be fair to all points of view instead of imposing our own.

Wayne sharing with our Language of Healing class.

Bob, Arnita, and I taught our first class together in Dallas this weekend and to a group of people eager to join this conversation. Some of the things we shared there, that might be helpful here are:

About 75% of Americans are ready to have the conversation that embraces mutual respect, which means about 25% are not. Don’t try to force this conversation on those who are not ready for it. Most will be, however, tired of the polarization that is making us angry and suspicious of our neighbors.
Don’t think first about changing institutions, but of the next interaction you have with someone who thinks differently than you do, or the next room you walk into and who you choose to spend some time with.
Learning to speak a Language of Healing invites an inner transformation first, where we “see” others and engage them with compassion and respect even if they don’t share our political views or our faith.
We all have biases that influences our interactions with others. By recognizing and managing them we will find ourselves in more fruitful relationships.

This week we will also be recording the audio version for those who would like to hear all three of us read our parts of this book. It should be available by the first of the year.

If you’d like to help us get the word out, here are some ideas—

Go to your favorite bookstore and ask if they have the book in stock. (If not, it will alert them to order it.)
Get a copy at Amazon, Barnes, and Noble, or Books-A-Million and start reading it.
If you like what you’re reading, share it freely on social media, post a review on Goodreads and Amazon. All of those things help the book spread in the world.
Post a picture of the book whenever you quote from it or share your thoughts about it. There are lots online, or on my Facebook Author feed, or you can personalize it by taking one with you reading the book, or sitting on your coffee table or desk.
When you see other postings about this book on your social feeds “like” them so the conversation grows.
Suggest A Language of Healing for any book group you attend, or host a study in your own home.

We have been blessed with a lot of people who are passionate about this book. Give it a read and see if it resonates with you as well.

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Farewell Kevin… And Thank You

11 Comments / Uncategorized / November 13, 2019

The world is a bit poorer today, at the same time more of what I treasure has found his way into eternity.

I found out this morning that my good friend from Australia, Kevin Smith, passed away peacefully on Sunday morning. I knew he had not been well and had endured great suffering and pain over the last few months. Those closest to him are relieved that his suffering is finally over and that he has begun the greatest adventure for which he was created—eternity with the Father he loved so much. My heart and prayers go out to his wife Val, his three kids and their spouses, and all the grandkids.

Over the past 24 years, I got to have so many long, deep, healing conversations with Kevin—in my home, in his, in Ireland, Singapore even on Skype calls. I got to introduce him to so many of my friends around the world. I first met him and Val in the summer of 1995 when asked to teach at a Servant School he’d helped organize in the bush outside of Melbourne, Australia. He and his then-21-year-old daughter picked Sara and me up at the airport to drive us out to Camp Weekaway. The conversation I heard between that father and daughter let me know we were in for a special time. It was our first time in Australia and we were deeply hurting at the time having just been betrayed by a close friend and forced out of a group of people we dearly loved. Those few days were life-changing. It’s where we began to see the cross in a different light, that I wrote about in He Loves Me, and talked at length about in Transitions, and where we got to experience the reality of a community of brothers and sisters that we had been trying so hard to produce, without success, by our own efforts at home.

Those ten days in Australia changed the course of our lives in so many ways. I have always been grateful that God allowed our lives to intersect then and continue to over the years that followed. He was a treasure in so many ways—his smile, deep laugh, his wisdom, generosity, and graciousness communicated the Father’s nature to me better than anything else ever has. When people ask me what books have most shaped my life and theology, my answer is that it was never books. What has most shaped my life and thoughts on this journey are the people God brought across my path at just the right time and who invested so much in my heart and life. And I don’t mean I got to hear them speak; I got to spend time with these people in their homes, on long walks, in deep conversations and in frivolous moments of joking and laughter. They allowed me to see God in real life and Kevin was one of those. He never took himself too seriously or never tried to impress me with his spiritual depth. He just lived an authentic life and made room for others to walk alongside him.

The sheer gravity of his character and passion for God permanently altered the trajectory of my life. When I spent a few days with Kevin my trust in Father grew in ways that surprised me. He simply lived at rest in the Father’s care through times of great abundance and in times of great need or pain. He was willing to follow God’s leading even at great personal risk financially and otherwise. So much of how I live in the world today, I can trace back to my friendship with Kevin and what he showed me about what life in God looks like.

Even how I travel now is the fruit of our relationship. I know that what people need to see to catch this life for themselves is not a speaker on a stage talking about the love of God, but an example in their homes and over meals of our common humanity and the amazing Father that can make sense of our lives. I know that frivolous moments of laughter or making buttermilk biscuits are every bit as significant as the deep conversations. That’s what Kevin showed me and I still treasure every moment we’ve had together.

As I have reflected this morning on my gratefulness to God for allowing Kevin in my life, I was reminded of some of the things he said to me, that I still share with others:

He was the first person I ever heard use the word “Father” without the article in front of it. It captured me because I never call my father ‘The dad’. Father became such an endearing term to me.
After asking me how many of our policies in the church I’d been a part of were based on our fears of people falling through the cracks, of the wrong people getting in leadership, or of people not seriously following Jesus and I answered about ninety percent, “So, you know well the church that fear can build, but you’ve yet to discover the church that grows from trusting him.”
“We loved The Naked Church when we read it, but we also realized that what you don’t know yet is that Jesus didn’t leave us with a system to implement, but with his Spirit to follow.”
When asked by someone if he believed in the infallibility of the Bible, he hesitated briefly then answered, “I believe in the infallibility of the God of the Bible.”
When I was complaining about one of our politicians, “Well, we know he lies, but we don’t know that he’s a liar.”
In a classroom in Singapore discussing Jesus’ prayer for the unity of his followers. “Is unity really our calling? Who was Jesus asking to produce this unity, us or his Father?”
When asked about his children not growing up in Sunday school. “I think they may give our children just enough of God’s things to inoculate them against the reality of knowing him.”
“Let’s make a pact to use the term church only the way God uses it, not for humanity’s faltering institutions, but for the living, breathing family that thrives in the earth.”

I’m sure there are so many more that will come to mind over the days to come. I am so grateful that Father allowed us to have a friendship over the years.

Fortunately, you can still spend some time with Kevin if you’d like. Over the years I did five podcasts with Kevin and was always touched by the power and simplicity of his words as well as his life. You can listen to them here. Take a weekend sometime and listen to all five of them back-to-back. It will enrich your journey in ways you can’t imagine.

Most of all, I will miss knowing you’re in this world, Kevin. I realize you are face-to-face with Father now and how I wish we could have one more Skype call so that I could know what you know now. But that will await another day. Thank you, Kevin, for being you! For sharing your life so freely with so many of us and enriching this world with the fragrance of Father.

Farewell, my friend. Enjoy what’s next!

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A Crazy, Crazy Few Weeks

1 Comment / Behind the Scenes / November 8, 2019

Why has this page been so quiet? Because the last few weeks have been a bit crazy, and the next couple will be the same.

The above photo was my view last weekend, getting a walk in the woods as the day began. I was in Ohio on a two-day turn-around from Sara and my week away. The temperature was 34 degrees, so it was a brisk four-mile walk. Ohio!??! It wasn’t on my travel schedule, but for personal reasons, I felt nudged to spend some time with dear friends in northeast Ohio, near Millersburg, that God has connected me to over the years. Some others in the area came to join us, and I heard some amazing stories of how at desperate moments my life intersected with theirs. I was touched at what God does. Do people really Google, “I don’t want to go to church anymore,” and get to my website? (Not anymore, as I checked today!)

It was a crazy, rushed trip as I had to get back and help coach some storytellers that are part of a one-year commemoration of the mass shooting at Borderline Bar and Grill that took twelve undeserving lives. Hearing police officers, firefighters, parents, and survivors talk about that experience a year ago has been incredibly moving. The final event is tomorrow night. One year ago today those young people were murdered then within twenty-four hours 250,000 people from my community were evacuated in the dead of night in the face of two encroaching wildfires. Everyone in our community has vivid memories of those days.

After that, we are gearing up for the release of my new book, A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation, along with coauthors Bob Prater and Arnita Taylor. We’ll all be in Dallas next week, doing a six-hour class together on Saturday (November 16) before our official release the next day. If you’re in the area or would like to fly in you can get details on the website above either for the Saturday seminar or the Sunday afternoon/evening book launches.

Then the following weekend Bob and Arnita are coming to Southern California where we will be recording the audio version of the book as well as having our own book launch here. You can join us at Life Pacific University on Saturday, November 22. Details are also on the Language of Healing Website and you can RSVP there. Then, on Sunday afternoon November 24, we will be meeting with the CultureBrave at Cultural Interiors, 4421 W. Slauson Ave. L.A. CA. 90043. There is ample parking in the back and refreshments will be served!

This book’s pre-sales have already put it at #1 on Amazon’s list of books about war and peacemaking. Amazon has ordered thousands of them and we’re excited by the feedback we are getting from our early readers. Join us if you can at one of the events above because I’d love to introduce you to Bob and Arnita. You can also pre-order your copy now from a number of outlets.

When we get done with this launch Thanksgiving will be upon us and soon the holidays and a new year. I haven’t worked out my travel yet, waiting to see how this new book influences the places I need to go, but I am actively considering trips in 2020 to, Florida, Oklahoma, Michigan, upstate New York, South Carolina, and West Texas. It will be interesting to see what God has in store in the days to come.

In addition to all of that, it’s my daughter’s birthday today, which we get to celebrate with an early dinner, and then late tonight the grandkids are coming for the entire weekend! My heart revels in such moments as these kids are growing so fast! Even faster than ours, I think!

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Meet the Authors of A Language of Healing

Language of Healing / October 31, 2019

Sara and I are just back from our week away, and it was glorious! Life is full now with getting our new book released and available. But first, let me assure everyone that Sara and I are doing fine in the face of all the wildfires going on in Southern California since our return. I’ve received numerous texts, emails, and messages asking about how we’re being affected by these fires. Firefighters won the day in our area yesterday and it is much quieter today. There are very few losses in our county and we are grateful.

For the time being, Sara and I, and Julie and her family are not in danger. We have fires to our east and northeast, with winds blowing toward the southwest. We got a bit of smoke yesterday, but it is much better today. Your prayers and concern are deeply appreciated. There are some other more dangerous fires burning out on the east side of LA today, but the winds are supposed to end late morning.

Now, let me share with you a new video of Bob Prater, Arnita Taylor, and me, talking about our new book, A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation that releases November 19. They were also my guests on this week’s episode of The God Journey, in a podcast called Erring on the Side of Love.

It couldn’t be more timely given the times we live in. Check out the latest Pew Research on the escalating polarization of our nation. We have to have a better conversation that leads to generosity and respect, even to those who don’t see the world the way we do. We hope this book will help generate that conversation. You can pre-order the book here.

The comments in this video were made the weekend we began work on this book, and I can honestly say the process and our engagements with each other were greater than we had hoped.

The video link is here – https://vimeo.com/369947815 if you’d like to share it with your friends. And here’s a link to an Instagram-friendly forty-five-second version – https://vimeo.com/369949507.

Thanks for helping us get the word out.

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The Story Behind A Language of Healing

Behind the Scenes / October 22, 2019

Sara and I are taking a break for a week so, please go easy on me email-wise while we are gone. This is Sara time, and perhaps the lull before the storm with the new book coming out and a bit of travel ahead.

Amazing news today! We just found out today that Amazon placed an order for 3,000 copies of A Language of Healing. That’s astounding for this little book from a new publishing company! Obviously, there is a lot of interest for this title and we’re excited that it may give people a way to negotiate the growing tension in our culture. I’ve been asked by some of our international readers whether this is for the United States alone. It’s not. People in any polarized nation will find the strategies in it very useful.

The publishing date for the book is November 19, but we are having two weekends around that to celebrate the launch and where we’ll have books available. You can join us in Dallas for the first book launch on November 17, It will give you a chance to meet all the authors and talk about our passion to change the conversation one person at a time. Details are on the ALanguageOfHealing website. Also, the day before (Saturday, November 16) we will be hosting our first seminar about the content of the book. We’ll be meeting from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm. The cost is $50.00 for the training, which will include an advance PDF copy of the book and a printed copy at the seminar. We only have room for 40, so sign up quick at the website or by emailing me.

The following weekend the team will be together again for a Book Launch in Southern California at Life Pacific University. Details can be found at A Language of Healing website or you can email me to register. I hope some of you can come join us and help us begin a different sort of conversation in the world.

I can’t wait for you to meet my coauthors, Bob Prater and Arnita Taylor. The connections between us have not only been orchestrated by God, but the synergy between our thinking has been transformative to each of us. This has been such an amazing journey.

Here’s a sneak peek at the introduction to this book and how it came to be.

INTRODUCTION
Have you ever found yourself in an awkward moment with someone different from you?
Maybe you both heard a joke at the same time, but your reactions were wildly different. Have you ever made a comment that you found out later was offensive to others, when you didn’t mean it to be? Are you afraid to initiate a conversation with someone different from you for fear you’ll say the wrong thing or be misinterpreted?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are in good company. Our social fabric is unraveling as anger and vitriol rule the national dialogue. Offenses are easily taken… and too often intended. We are losing our ability to communicate gracefully with people of different cultures, interest groups, or opinions.
Political parties exploit it, the media sells it, and Russian troll farms exacerbate it. And they will continue to as long as the electorate falls for it.
Aren’t you done with all of that?
Our differences cannot be an excuse to vent our anger and animosity. We can hold to differing views and argue for them passionately without resorting to contempt, suspicion, and accusations. If we can manage this, we’ll not only learn more about each other, but we might also find ways to work together for our shared interests, guarding our own dignity by giving it to others.
This is a book for those who are tired of being spun by politicians and media and having their personal relationships destroyed by differences in religion, race, sexuality, and politics. It’s for those who want to find ways to communicate and cooperate beyond our most deeply rooted differences. It’s for those who realize that in the shared spaces of our society we have more to gain through mutual understanding than from the politics of polarization.
If you enjoy the fight or profit by it in money, votes, or clicks, you will not enjoy this book. While it’s not about linguistics per se, it is about speaking a language that dials down the anger and opens the door to listening to others as much as we want to be heard.
The idea for this book began with Bob Prater, a former pastor, lumber company manager, entertainment developer, and father of three daughters. He spends a lot of his time with people who have been marginalized—the poor, the LGBTQ community, and others who’ve been abused or fallen through the cracks of our society. He’s also been a bridge to the Muslim community in his own city of Bakersfield, California. His friendship with people in these groups, however, has caused great concern among his friends in the evangelical community.
Bob thought their combined experiences could help dispel the growing anger in our culture. In addition, Wayne is theologically and politically conservative, while Bob is more progressive on both scores. They have butted heads often on various issues, but through their conversations only grew closer as friends. Both disdain the polarizing rhetoric that has taken over the country.
Bob also had a third person in mind—a female politician in California who would bring more perspective to the conversation. Unfortunately, she bowed out in the end, and they began to seek another voice to enrich the content of the book. During that time, Wayne met with some people in a home in Dallas, Texas, when in walked Arnita Taylor, feigning frustration at having been passed over for the role of Papa in the movie The Shack, based on a book Wayne coauthored.
Arnita is an African-American woman from middle Tennessee, now living in a mostly white suburb. Arnita was trained as a laboratory chemist, raised two young men with her husband, earned a graduate degree in leadership development from Walden University, was employed in church ministry at a predominately white congregation, and is the founder of EIGHT Ministries (a consulting agency for leadership development).
During the meeting, comments were made displaying some insensitivity on racial issues. Before Wayne could jump in and help with any potential offense, Arnita spoke up. As Wayne recalled the conversation, in the most gracious way imaginable Arnita helped the room communicate more wisely and freely about racial differences. “Now, I’m not going to take offense to that,” Arnita would say, “but this is how others I know might hear that…” Her honesty and demeanor invited others into a conversation and added to an already enriching discussion. Wayne wondered at the time if she might be the third voice they were looking for.
Shortly after, Wayne called Bob and they discussed the possibility of adding Arnita to the authorship of A Language of Healing. After a few more meetings, it was clear that Arnita was the right fit for the project though they had no prior relationship with her.
Thus, began A Language of Healing… During the course of writing together not only was Arnita a valuable contributor, but she also became a treasured friend. As you’ll see, each chap- ter is written as a conversation between them, with sketches to help identify who is doing the talking in any given paragraph. Though framed as a conversation, the words were edited to flow seamlessly from paragraph to paragraph. However, in many cases, who was speaking was even more important than what was said to give the words context. You’re invited to eavesdrop on their conversation and, by doing so, are encouraged to learn a different language for your own relationships.
None of them claim to be an expert in the language of healing, though they are avid learners. They are three very ordinary Americans, who are tired of the polarized rhetoric and name-calling that surround issues of religion, politics, sexuality and race. They all enjoy a number of deep friendships with people who have very different views and experiences, and they appreciate what they learn in those relationships. This is their appeal for all of us to seek better ways to communicate with our family and friends in these critical areas.
They are not social scientists using formal qualitative or quantitative research. They are concerned citizens, learning from one another while adding their own personal narratives. They are not writing for the politicians and pundits in Washington, D.C., but to other people who don’t want differing perspectives to further divide us. They hope better dialogue and greater compassion will lead to more mutually satisfying answers to the problems we face.
None of them are trying to convince you their opinion is the right one, but rather they want to model how friends can talk through combustible issues. When you realize you don’t have to convince people you are right and they are wrong, you get to grow by appreciating that others look at the world differently. The substance of their conversation is in their mutual respect and the desire to find a common ground larger than their own preferences.
Try it. You’ll find that issues are more nuanced than you’ve been led to believe, and you may discover some rich friendships along the way. The book is divided into three main sections:
An opportune Moment. Why is this a particularly propitious moment to elevate the conversation, at least for the vast majority of Americans who are tired of those who manipulate them through fear and anger?
Five practices of a peacemaker. What does it take for someone to be in a conversation to help lower the heat and increase the level of communication, especially where we hold significantly different views?
Operating in shared space. Our deeply held views do not have to be subjugated to cooperate with others, we only have to look to make as much space for their views as we want for ours.
At the end of each chapter, you’ll find three suggestions you can use to practice the language of healing in your own day-to- day interactions. Choose any one of them and see how it can expand your ability to engage a wider variety of people.
We all win if you take one of the chapter topics to explore more deeply. We all win if your level of understanding increases even slightly. We all win if you take this book into a book club and have your own conversation about differences in our culture. We all win when these chapters are used as discussion starters in college classrooms or used in high school civics. We all win if you learn to listen better to people who see the world differently than you do.
The hope is that everyone who reads this will gain a little more awareness about themselves. You don’t have to agree with everything here, but if you can at least acknowledge the validity of varying perspectives and communicate about them more generously, you can help repair the rip in our societal fabric. Just maybe something you read will encourage you to more harmony and peace with your family, colleagues, and friends. Even better, you may learn something here that will give you the insight to solve a problem or repair a broken relationship.
Polarity damages people. The current atmosphere is saturated with disdain for one another. It’s time for a new approach that celebrates our common humanity.
“You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”
— Anne Lamott

You can pre-order your copy of A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation here.

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Book Launch Events Announced in Dallas and Los Angeles

3 Comments / Language of Healing / October 15, 2019

A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation is the book we need at this critical moment in our history. At a time when many Americans are reduced to shouting past one another, the authors of this volume—three thoughtful, compassionate citizens—give us a roadmap to restore civility and respect across even our deepest differences. Filled with honest dialogue, inspiring stories, and practical advice, this compelling volume should be required reading for every American committed to seeking a common vision for the common good.

That endorsement was written by Dr. Charles C. Haynes, Founding Director of Religious Freedom Center of the Freedom Forum Institute in Washington, DC. I worked with Dr. Haynes back when I was helping work through social conflicts with BridgeBuilders. He is a noted constitutional scholar, and I couldn’t be more grateful for his endorsement. I hope people take it to heart. You can pre-order the book here.

Ok, this news is so hot off the presses, that we don’t even have all the details nailed down yet, but for your planning purposes, I wanted to make you aware of these gatherings in case you want to join us in Dallas or in Southern California. It will be available November 19, and to celebrate its release we are having two celebrations, one in Dallas where one of the coauthors resides, and one in Southern California at Life Pacific University. Mark your calendars if you want to join us. All three coauthors—Arnita Taylor, Bob Pater, and I—will be at all of these events and books will be available.

Dallas Book Launch – Sunday, November 17, 2019: We will be meeting at the Eventually Yours Event Venue, in North Hills Village at 7640 NE Loop 820 (at Boulevard 26) Suite 110, North Richland Hills, TX 76180. To accommodate those who want to come, we will be having one from 2:30 – 4:30, and repeat it from 5:00 – 7:30. You must RSVP to guarantee your space since the size is limited. Click on the link for your preferred time to let us know you’re coming.
Seminar in the Language of Healing: On the Saturday before, November 16, we will be taking a look at more in-depth skills as to how you can be a bridgebuilder in your own community. We will release details as soon as we have them, but we will host a six-hour training on Saturday from 9:30 – 4:00 pm. in Keller, TX. Arnita, Bob, and I will all be participating in this event. There is no cost for the other events, but we are going to ask for $50.00 for those who want to register for the training to contribute to the expenses involved. When you register you’ll receive an advance PDF copy of the book, and then a free book at the traiining. Space is limited to the first forty people. To register, please email me.

The following weekend we’ll be together again in Southern California

Southern California Book Launch will be in the chapel of Life Pacific University in San Dimas, CA on Saturday, November 22 from 1:30 – 4:30. If you’d like to join us, please RSVP here.
In addition, CultureBrave with Lisa Vitello is planning a Sunday Brunch for us to meet with their group on November 23 somewhere in Los Angeles in the late morning. You’d be welcome to join us there, too. We don’t have the weblink for that yet, but you can email me if you’re interested in attending and I’ll get you included.

Finally, it is not too late to join our Launch Team that is gathering right now in a private group on Facebook. We are looking for five hundred people who will help us start some buzz about the book by pre-reading it and being ready to post reviews, blogs, Instagram and Facebook posts when it launches. We have procured a Launch Team Coordinator well-versed in the ways of using these algorithms to help people know about this book.

Fill out this Google form: https://forms.gle/1PEJrx9dYV34GerC8
Click this link. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2448614108754741/ to join the launch team Facebook group!

Bob, Arnita, and I have been both blessed and a bit overwhelmed by the reception this book is getting by those who are pre-reading it and those that endorsed it. It seems like there is a great hunger to move from the animosity of our current national dialogue to conversations more gracious and more enlightening. We hope you will join us.

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