Wayne Jacobsen

Chapter 9: Eyes to See, Ears to Hear 

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Note: This is the ninth in a series of letters written for those living at the end of the age, whenever that comes in the next fifteen years or the next one hundred and fifty years. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

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I know there is a supernatural world all around us, but I don’t seem to be tuned into it. What did Jesus mean when he said some were given to know the mysteries of the kingdom and others were not? Would he leave me out? 

— Marcus, former pastor, now car detailer and father of 3 teenagers in Arizona

Marcus, 

I love your hunger and appreciate your concern, but you can rest assured that Jesus wants you to see into his reality more than you want it. 

Unfortunately, many followers of Jesus have only learned to follow the Scriptures or some leader and not his Spirit who guides us into God’s reality. It is so easy to look with our physical eyes or listen with our physical ears and think with our own reasoning, that most people never learn the joy of life in the Spirit. 

Our physical senses and scientific instruments can only measure the physical world, and the more advanced science becomes, the harder it is to recognize the spiritual dimension affecting everything around us. But there is. And yet, our view of the supernatural has been so over-sensationalized in Christian sermons and novels most people miss the genuine while seeking after audible voices or physical engagements with angels and demons.

As mysterious and powerful as the supernatural can be, it mostly doesn’t come to us that way. My encounters are far more normal and natural when they happen than most people would think. It’s only when I look back that I am awed by all that God did. In the retelling, it is easy to embellish and exaggerate stories in a way that cause people to think they are made up, and reject the supernatural or discourage them from seeing it in their own lives. That’s not to say some encounters can’t be awe-inspiring in the moment, but those are extremely rare by design, and if you’re looking for those to be normalized, you will miss just how his Spirit works. 

I’m glad you haven’t given up that hunger, Marcus. There are no rituals or principles, even biblical ones, that can replace a life of perceiving and responding to his work in you. The wind of the Spirit blows across our lives every day inviting us beyond the world that is temporal, and fraught with pain, illusions, and selfishness, so that we can anchor our hearts in the kingdom that is eternal, unshakeable, and true. Learning to sense his movements around us will lead to a growing fullness in his presence as well as provide the courage and wisdom to navigate any difficulties we face.  

He can show you what he wants you to know, feel the emotions God wants you to feel, and to ensure that you see what you need to see to know how to respond to what’s going on around you. I wish more people were tuned to the realm of the Spirit, which is what this letter is about.  

 

What Many Long to See

Jesus told his disciples that “Many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.” (Matthew 13:16-17) What an amazing gift we’ve been given to see the world around us as God sees it. That hasn’t always been true. Before Jesus’s redemption on the cross that removed our shame and allowed us to rest confidently in his presence, people could not behold him. Still, spiritual blindness can be a problem. 

That’s why Jesus said things like, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them (Matthew 13:11),” or, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear (Mark 4:23, et al).” It is easy to conclude that only a selected few get to see into the supernatural world. So, Marcus, your question about being left out is a fair one. Many don’t see Jesus engaging them in a way they can recognize, and wonder the same thing. 

Looking closer, however, the ability to perceive was not in Jesus’s hands. He was aware that the realities he was bringing inside the human experience were so incredibly different from the world they lived in, that most people would miss them. That’s what he meant when he talked about a narrow road, “Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Mark 7:14). He wasn’t distinguishing between saved and unsaved, but recognizing that those who learn to follow are going to be few. 

That’s not to say he would only reveal himself to a select group of people, but that only a few would be ready to see and follow. I’ve no doubt Jesus wanted to include everyone, but not everyone was ready to be included. Having eyes and ears that can perceive spiritual reality is available to anyone who is ready. Tuning into that frequency is where we discover what’s true about God, ourselves, and the choices we face, as I talked about in my last letter. 

He wants you to have eyes that see and ears to glimpse into that world enough so that we can live freely in truth. In these ever-darkening days, we will need to be more sensitive to him than ever. 

 

Calluses and Veils

 

So how do we cultivate a heart that can see and hear the secrets of the kingdom? Let’s look at how Jesus spoke of it. 

He said those who could not see had “callused hearts.” (Matthew 13). By that he meant their hearts were hardened to what’s true because they lived so long by their own wisdom and desires, even using the Scriptures to make doctrines of their own preferences. 

So, while seeing, they couldn’t really see, and hearing, they couldn’t really hear. They interpreted everything in their own self-interest. Thus, Jesus disguised his words in parables, so they wouldn’t have to reject him yet again. Each time they ignored his leading, the calluses grew thicker. Those who were ready, he pulled aside for more detailed explanations. 

This same problem impacted the early believers as Paul warned them, in the last days hardened hearts would embrace “a form of godliness but denying its power” (2 Timothy 3:5). It’s easy to turn religion into a practice at the expense of presence. He also wrote of false teachers who acted with hypocrisy and lied habitually because their “consciences have been seared” (1 Timothy 4:2). 

The callused heart or seared conscience seems to result from bypassing the overtures of the Spirit in deference to our own ambitions. This is not people making honest mistakes, but those who persistently ignore the Spirit’s overtures to them until it becomes nearly impossible to recognize him anymore. 

So, it is possible for us to be near God’s things but be blind to his reality. In I Corinthians 3 and 4, Paul spoke of a veil that blinds us to his working. This result from substituting religious performance and arrogance for the desire to know him. He specifically tied it to the reading of Moses, which brings a veil over our hearts (3:14-16) The performance-based approach to God blinds us to the relational journey. And yet, many Christians today want to post the Ten Commandments in classrooms or promote Moses’s example of leadership as a guide for church life. That’s the veil, trying to see God through a legalistic lens.

In the next chapter, Paul wrote of how a similar veil influences the world. “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ…” (4:2-4). It is why he preached Christ, because only he can lift the veil to let them see clearly, which is exactly what he wants to do for us. 

So, if you find yourself unable to sense his presence in and around you, or feel you’ve been ignoring his nudges, you may need to turn back to him and ask him to soften your heart. He forgives so readily and over time you’ll begin to recognize his nudges again. But for most people like you, Marcus, I suspect that you’ve not had the opportunity to discover how his Spirit is making himself known to you. 

 

The Prayer

 

The prayer Paul held in his heart for the Colossians (1:9-14 Message), is often one I pray for myself and others:

“(I am) asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works…. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work…. (with) strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

There is so much in those few words; let them capture you. Holding them in my heart helps me tune to the Spirit’s frequency as I recognize how he is working around me. This is where guilt, self-blame, and desperation are not helpful. Trying to be good for God or filling your head with Bible instruction won’t help either. 

Asking him and being patient will help you discern the spiritual world around you and how his Spirit blows through it. This is less about miraculous signs than it is a growing discernment of what he is doing around you and how he is revealing Jesus to you. Celebrate each nudge you feel, each bit of his wisdom that he puts in your mind, and follow where he seems to be leading you.

Rest and quiet are your friends here. Desperation in prayer or action puts us right back in human-effort mode. Staying relaxed in Jesus’s love allows him to show us what we need to know when we need to know it. If he’s not revealing anything to me today, all I need to do is stay open so I’m ready when he does. Trusting him with timing will help immensely; begging for answers we want will only distract you. His timing isn’t anywhere close to what we’d expect. 

Seeing his world in yours is a slow process with a glorious arc. Don’t pressure yourself for quick results, and let him relieve you of unrealistic expectations. This counsel from Julian of Norwich, who lived in the latter half of the 14th Century, is helpful. “We need not worry if we cannot “find” God, for we are only responsible for seeking; no formula exists for finding. The revelation of the Divine Presence is always unpredictable and surprising.” (All Shall Be Well by Ellyn Sanna)

Don’t look for “words” and visions, bells or whistles. What you’re looking for are glimpses into his kingdom in thoughts and nudges that cause you to think differently than your natural inclinations. As you begin this journey, his Spirit will want to help you discover just how deeply loved by God you are, and free you from shame, guilt, and fear that makes it more difficult to see. That’s how he removes the calluses. 

As you awaken further to the Spirit’s work, you’ll have a growing sense of what’s really going on around you and not just what you think might be true. Seeing into his world will be a powerful source of comfort, peace, and courage in the face of your most challenging circumstances.

 

Glimpses of God’s World

 

Most people have misconceptions about the supernatural that limit their ability to engage with it. This is often complicated by those who claim to listen to the Spirit as they manipulate others or build a following. There are many charlatans afoot who dazzle people with their miracle stories, contrived smoke-and-mirror “encounters”, or made-up prophecies. It is easy to fake such things with a crowd, either to build a following or harvest a financial windfall, but it confuses the genuine seeker who doesn’t see the Spirit working like that in their daily lives.

Don’t be fooled by the counterfeit and be careful not to use it as an excuse to reject the genuine. Pretenders can be spotted when you see their “prophecies” don’t come to pass, honest questions provoke their arrogance and anger, and how extravagantly they indulge themselves. The true work of the Spirit leads to increasing authenticity, humility, generosity, tenderness, and an honest portrayal of the supernatural in which everyone can participate. 

Thinking of God as “up there” somewhere as your prayers bounce off the ceiling will impair your ability to glimpse into his kingdom. Heaven, where God dwells, is not primarily a geographical place but a spiritual dimension that surrounds us at every moment. Beholding that world will continually shape in a wonderful way how you live, see, and listen. 

 

Putting Together a Puzzle

I hope this can help you, Marcus. Recognizing the spiritual world around us is more like assembling a puzzle than a list of instructions or a crystal-clear vision. We sense it in bits and pieces as we go about our day and then watch his Spirit fit them together to help us understand what he wants us to know. 

Certainty isn’t even possible here. Paul admitted his own limited perspective, “We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist” (I Corinthians 13:12). Don’t you love his honesty? Those who claim to see spiritual things with absolute confidence are making it up. Perfect clarity will only come when our redemption is complete at the appearing of Jesus. 

Until then, we peer into realities greater than us all, not trying to figure it all out, but simply to recognize what the Spirit might be showing us each day. Paul used the word ‘enigma’ to describe how we see his kingdom. It’s like a puzzle or a riddle for us to explore as he gives us greater understanding. Watch for the fingerprints and nudges of the Spirit; make note of them, but avoid rushing to your own conclusions. That’s what we often do and then we’ll find ourselves chasing our own wisdom again instead of being more settled in his. 

Discerning the Spirit or the times we’re in is not about “getting a word” from God; it’s about letting the wisdom of the Spirit seep into our consciousness. It will seem like a puzzle with lots of clues until the penny drops and we see what he has for us. It’s extraordinary, how the nudges, glimpses, and conversations help us see into his world. Pieces of insight will come from Scripture, random thoughts he brings to our consciousness, conversations, observations in nature, dreams, song lyrics that jump at us, or movie scenes that move us deeply.  

Resist the urge to read into things on your own, as if everything is a piece of that puzzle. Doing so, you’ll contrive your own insights again. Let the Spirit highlight what is from him. Look less to get specific questions answered as seeing what he is revealing. The first puts our focus on him, the latter puts it on us. What the Spirit reveals may have nothing to do with what we are asking of him. He is simply showing you the way things truly are, so you’ll know how to live. He will give you a different way to think about him or something you’re facing. 

Why does God choose to engage it this way? Couldn’t he just be clearer from the outset? I don’t know that God has chosen to speak to us in riddles, I just think it looks that way from our side. The Creator connecting with his creation is a reality all its own and we wake to it like a small child growing to appreciate the world she is in. Everything comes in bits and pieces as she learns to navigate the world outside the womb. 

When glimpses come, ponder them in your heart and see what other clues or confirmation the Spirit might bring to clarify his work in you. As the Spirit shows you where God is working, he will confirm in multiple ways what he wants you to know. 

Having a community of friends who are on a similar journey and comparing notes is incredibly helpful. Don’t look for people who are spooky or super spiritual with “revelations” about God that put others down, but find down-to-earth, genuine people who are learning to embrace Father’s love and being honest about their uncertainties and mistakes. 

If you find one or two who have more experience than you, all the better. Ask if they’ll help you learn to see better. I’ve been fortunate over my lifetime to have continuing engagements with “older” followers of Jesus who encouraged me in different ways to relax into the flow of the Spirit. They didn’t teach me techniques or try to control me; they just allowed me to watch as they followed, gave me honest feedback about my perceptions, and encouraged my spiritual hunger. 

I realize people get nervous whenever someone encourages others to sense and follow his Spirit. They, like me, know too many people who claim to be following God’s voice when they were pushing their own agenda. Most people who use “God told me to…”, use it to justify their own desires or to end an uncomfortable conversation. Don’t fall for it. Don’t let anyone else tell you what God wants of you unless it confirms how he’s already been leading you. People who know God would never say, “God told me to tell you,” but instead would express, “I had a thought the other day and I’m wondering if it might be helpful to you.” 

Maybe the value of uncertainty in the Spirit’s leading is how easily it exposes those who speak with false confidence. Those who are really learning to listen hold their conclusions more lightly and would never tell someone else to do what they think is best. They actively seek the input of others to help them wrestle with what the Spirit might be saying. Over time, you will become more confident in following the Spirit’s nudges, but far from certain that you have it all right. 

In the meantime, know that he will never lead you in a way that violates God’s nature as the Scripture reveals it. He won’t direct you to lie, betray, cheat, injure, or accuse others of malicious motives. He’ll be teaching you how to live in his love. He will show you the way the world is, God’s order to the universe beneath the games of darkness that broken humans play. You’ll discover the power of gossip and jealousy destroys relationships, the lengths people in pain will go to survive, even if they hurt people they love. You’ll recognize the controlling cadence of political speech and religious services, the empty formulas behind popular entertainment that dulls our hearts to God, and the hype used to manipulate the emotions of a crowd. And you will know these things because you’ll recognize them first in yourself. Doing so will transform you to a wiser and kinder you, easier on others’ mistakes because you’re aware of your own. You’ll find the freedom to apologize for bad choices instead of doubling down on them to justify yourself. 

 

Life in the Spirit

It is said that people are either motivated by their intellect or by their emotions. Knowing which will allow you to manipulate them for your own ends. Jesus had something different in mind; that is, living out of our spirit instead of just our thoughts or feelings. Our spirit lies at the core of our being where his Spirit makes connection with us. 

Paul talked about life in the “Spirit” as the way we walk in the world. In the Greek, there are no capital letters, so translating that phrase with a capital “S” may have changed his meaning. When I was growing up, life in the Spirit meant obeying God’s instructions. In effect, we would become robots following preprogramed instructions from God, which were often Scriptures we had interpreted to our own comfort. 

What if Paul was inviting the followers of Jesus to live out of their spirit instead of their thoughts or emotions? What’s the difference? Instead of living by principles our intellect can understand, or being controlled by our capricious feelings, we would live out of that part of us that connects to God. Getting in touch with our spirit is where we gain the eyes to see and ears to hear. 

That fits the journey I’ve been on for some time. It allows us to participate in transformation so that our intellect and our emotions are informed by God’s reality and his purpose in us. When our spirit comes alive with his, we are partners in the joy of an ever-growing relationship—our person merging with his.

Living by “the spirit” is what flows out of that union. It isn’t following our intuition; it is deriving our motivations from eyes that see a better kingdom. This is where we come to know we are loved, begin to recognize his nudges, and find reserves of strength that go beyond our own. He doesn’t want to tell us what to do, but for us to become one with us, so that we’ll see his character increasingly reflected in our nature.

Having eyes to see and ears to hear will take us on an ever-unfolding adventure of his Spirit adding insight and freedom to our journey as we live by what’s true and what’s loving in the world of chaos. 

 

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You can access previous chapters here.  Stay Tuned for Chapter 10.

Chapter 9: Eyes to See, Ears to Hear  Read More »

Do You Want to Talk with Me?

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The last few years have brought a lot of change to the trajectory of my journey. Living loved is taking me to places I’ve never considered and brought more joy and fullness to my life than I’ve ever known. I’ve shared most of the changes in that journey on the weekly podcast as well as here on my blog. This has been the most transformative season of my life, bar none.

I know people have many questions and insights into how they might process some of that in their own journey, and since I’m not traveling as much these days, I thought I’d hold some occasional Zoom sessions to explore this amazing journey together.

You may want to discuss the content of my latest book, It’s Time: Letters to the Bride of Christ at the End of the Age, my current journey praying for the brokenness of the world, or raising up a new generation of young people tuned into Jesus. We can also talk about living loved, gazing with God, healing from trauma, dealing with toxic family members, or anything else you want to talk about.

We will meet by Zoom and begin this Saturday, August 10, at 1:00 p.m. Pacific Daylight Time. Lord willing, we will stream it live on The God Journey Facebook page for those who want to watch live or the recording of it after. If you want to participate in the discussion, please email me in advance for the Zoom link.  And if you want to be added to a list of people I’ll contact for future conversations, even if you can’t make this one, email me as well.

This is meant to be a relaxed conversation among friends, not asking questions of an expert. I’m a brother on a journey and if there’s any way that the things I’ve learned can be a blessing to you, I’m happy to share them.

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Those who enjoyed my last blog about Sara’s garden, Painting with Flowers, can see how magical the night view here.

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Painting with Flowers

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Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

My wife paints with flowers, and what an amazing job she does. We’ve lived at our new home for just a little over a year and I wanted to share Sara’s latest garden with so many of you who have asked about it. Sara will always say it is a work in progress, but here it was last Friday in the middle of summer:  

(If the link doesn’t play in your email, click on this link.)

She calls it her favorite garden of all she has done, and it’s mine too, even though the last one was pretty impressive. The difference now is that instead of going out to look at her garden, we live inside of it. Every window looks out on stunning views of the flowers, greenery, fountains, butterflies, and birds that inhabit this space. It makes our new home a true oasis of beauty and peace. There is nothing more pleasurable than sitting in this garden with friends and family as we share the wonders of our life in Jesus. We’ve done that a lot since we’ve been home from our last trip and I’ve always said I’d enjoy the day when I travel less and people come to find me.

So, y’all come and sit a spell if you’d like. Let’s do it by prior arrangement, though, so we can space it out. And maybe I’ll fire up Wayne’s Smokehouse (see video for what that means) and break bread together as well.  Space is limited, but I’ve no doubt that if Father has it in his heart, it will work out.

And if you want to see how magical it turns at night, click here.

And, if you haven’t heard this yet, here is one of my favorite stories to ever come out of Sara’s Garden.

 

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Zoom With Me? 

On an unrelated note, I will be hosting an open Zoom conversation this Saturday, August 10, at 1:00 p.m. Pacific Daylight Time, for anyone who would like to discuss any of the themes of our podcasts or my blog. I don’t have an agenda for this, just a desire to further the discussion with those who are finding similar hunger in their own journey. Lord willing, we will stream it live on The God Journey Facebook page for those who want to listen in. If you want to participate in the discussion, please email me in advance for the Zoom link.  There’s lots we could talk about—gazing with God, praying for a younger generation, healing from trauma, how God speaks to us, living with temporal uncertainty, God’s vengeance, life in the spirit, or anything else on your heart. You’ll set the agenda, I’ll just be along for the ride.

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May You Bloom and Grow Forever

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I never expected to be undone in the middle of a theatrical production of The Sound of Music, but I was. I tell this story in today’s podcast, Unmanipulatable, but I wanted to share it here as well for those who might miss it there. 

Last Saturday, Sara and I went to see this musical because it is one of Sara’s favorite stories, and she adores the music. I went because we’re exploring things that bring Sara joy. Three years into our marriage we bought our first video cassette recorder and the first movie we bought was Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. For the next few weeks, I’d arrive home just as the nun was singing Climb Every Mountain. So, that became a bit of a joke in our home, as I would mockingly belt it out with her. 

But when it came up in the play, it took me back to those first years Sara and I lived alone as a young couple in love. It made me smile as I watched her enjoy the play. But then, later in the play, Captain Von Trapp sang Edelweiss, which I’ve mistakenly seen as one of the schmaltzier tunes in the show. A few lines in, I was overcome with emotion as tears pooled in my eyes. What just happened? It was the line, “May you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever.” My body had recognized it before my mind had registered it. I wasn’t thinking about a small white flower in the Alps but my wife sitting beside me. 

If you have followed our story, you know the last fifteen years have been quite an adventure for her as she wrestled with a deep pain she didn’t understand, and battled with it for her very life, and finally in the last two years discovered in long-forgotten memories a series of horrific events in her childhood that had traumatized her severely. I am so proud of the way she has embraced her story, even the darkest parts, has leaned into Jesus to find healing from the pain, and is learning to renew her mind with new neural pathways based on who she is, not on how trauma defined her. 

As remarkable a story as this is, it has, at times, been an incredibly painful journey for Sara. Last month brought a particularly excruciating memory that hit Sara hard. Dealing with it has been exhausting, and it’s made us wonder how many more may come in years ahead. She was just finding her pace beyond it last week when we went to the play. Watching her enjoy it was particularly meaningful. That’s why my mind was on her when the lyric was sung. Sara will bloom and grow forever. No matter how long this takes her, no matter what dark bridges we have yet to cross, the day will come when the trajectory will shift from working through the pain of the past to embracing his ever-unfolding glory uninterrupted in the present. Yes, that is already happening as we experience the first-fruits of Sara’s growing freedom, but someday, further in this life or perhaps in the next, the pain will all be gone and she can bloom and grow forever in God’s garden. The thought still causes my heart to exult today, and gives me a slightly different view of what eternity might mean for her. 

You also know my wife loves gardens, and they’ve been an important part of our story. Today, we will be shooting a video to share with you her current creation, which surrounds our new home. She says this is her favorite garden. I sat in it last week with a good friend, and as we talked numerous butterflies and birds flitted about the flowers. Finally, he remarked, “This seems like a fairy-tale garden in a Disney cartoon.”  And it does!  That’s a shot of the front of it above, but there is so much more. Thinking of her blooming for eternity is a joy all its own. I know Jesus already sees her as the beautiful flower he made her to be, but she will get to become more aware of it.

And not just her, me too! And not just us, but you, too. No matter what pain and struggle you’re working out in your life, the day will come, perhaps sooner than any of us think, when sorrow will yield to celebration, pain will be absorbed in healing, and death will give way to life. From there, we will all get to bloom and grow forever in the presence of Jesus, where each one of us will get to be all that Jesus created it to be before the fallenness of the world disfigured us. 

That’s redemption! As I watched the end of the play, I Corinthians 15:42-44 (Message), kept creeping into my mind: 

“This image of planting a dead seed and raising a live plant is a mere sketch at best, but perhaps it will help in approaching the mystery of the resurrection body—but only if you keep in mind that when we’re raised, we’re raised for good, alive forever! The corpse that’s planted is no beauty, but when it’s raised, it’s glorious. Put in the ground weak, it comes up powerful. The seed sown is natural; the seed grown is supernatural—same seed, same body, but what a difference from when it goes down in physical mortality to when it is raised up in spiritual immortality! 

So, my prayer for you today, is that you will rest confident in knowing that the work of Jesus in you now means that you too will get to bloom and grow forever. Your Father already sees you as a treasured delight in his garden but when the struggle is over you will see it, too, and revel in it and him forever.

Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly!

 

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Chapter 8: Love What Is True

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Note: This is the eighth in a series of letters written for those who will be living at the end of the age, whenever that comes. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

 

I wish truth was more obvious. Seemingly reasonable people violently disagree with other seemingly reasonable people. Why can’t we have one source of clear facts on which we can base our decisions? Christians can’t even agree on what the Bible says about God or how we are to follow him. I’m so confused. Who can I trust to tell me the truth?

Caryn, social media influencer and mother of two from Southern California

Caryn, 

What a great question, especially doing what you do. We’ve often talked about how your job makes you choose every day between telling the truth and doing what will make you the most money. I wish more people cared about what’s true.  Most cherry-pick information to justify what they already want. 

“What is truth?” is as relevant a question today as when Pontius Pilate asked Jesus about it. Though he asked the right person, he didn’t wait for an answer. He used it dismissively, so as not to confuse the decision he had to make. 

It’s a question I ask daily, not in a philosophical way, but in wanting to know what’s true about the situations I face, about my own heart and motives, or how God is making himself known to me. His light is the only thing that makes sense out of the chaos of this world and has guided me through its most difficult challenges. 

His light brings life, and yet so many of us resort to lies whenever we think they can help us. Here is the strangest conversation I ever had. A good friend of mine had told me about some developmentally challenged children who were having a fascinating connection to God. Visiting his city a few months later, I asked him more about it because I thought it would encourage parents with similar children. 

He acted as if he had no idea what I was talking about. Surprised, I pressed him but also gave him an out. “If you’re not comfortable talking about this, I’ll understand.” Again, he acted confused, denying the conversation we’d had months before. What was strange about this encounter was that I knew he was lying to me, and by the look on his face I was sure he knew that I knew. Nevertheless, he persisted, gaslighting me enough to make me question my own memory.  

Years later, a mutual friend told me he had pretended ignorance to get me off the scent. It would have been far easier to tell me that. Instead, he chose to double-down on a lie with such conviction that it damaged our friendship. Now, he was uncomfortable around me, and I didn’t know if I could trust anything he said. Sadly, a man I’d known to be sensitive to God started slipping into other areas of darkness as well, taking advantage of others.

You cannot play with a little bit of darkness and not risk getting sucked into its vortex. Many I know risk that today, thinking they can use half-truths and white lies to honorable ends. You can’t. There are two kingdoms vying for control—the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light—and they are mutually exclusive. 

 

Where Darkness Thrives 

 

We were all born into a world of lies and illusions. Everyone thinks they live in truth, but what if  “our truth” isn’t true at all? My whole life I’ve been trading in the lies I’ve believed for the truth Jesus reveals. In the days that portend the end of the age, this confusion between true and false grows even greater, so that even the very elect can be deceived. (Matthew 24:24)

We see it as a matter of course in our day with advertising, accusations of “fake news,” and outright fabrications. Lies are easier to spin than confronting people with difficult truths. Politicians, celebrities, and business leaders use deception as a regular tool to manipulate public support. Every statement allows them to spin the narrative they want to manipulate their target demographic. Even worse, our media has joined them, often stringing together legitimate facts to false conclusions. Here, half-truths are more destructive than outright lies, for it doesn’t take much cyanide in the punch to poison the whole brew.

It’s even worse when close relationships are infected by darkness. A well-placed lie has tremendous power. It can get you out of a tight spot or destroy someone’s reputation. We’ve all done it and been mostly oblivious to its effects, if we benefit from it. But lies destroy, and once you tell a lie to protect yourself, you must tell an increasing number of lies to cover the first one. That will invariably lead you to places you don’t want to go and hurt people you would rather not have hurt. 

The kingdom of darkness thrives inside of lies, secrets, innuendo, and deception, and all of those do great damage, even if you don’t know what you’re saying is untrue. My wife, Sara, lived with a dark secret in her body for over sixty years. Threatened into silence by her abusers, she lost track of what was real and is now only beginning to discover the truth of what happened to her, and who she really is. 

I can’t tell you how much I grew up believing about God that turned out to be untrue. When we decide to follow Jesus, he will draw us out of the tentacles of darkness that have held us captive. That may sound easy, but coming to know the truth about God, ourselves, and the world around us, is the longest, most difficult journey you’ll ever take. Take it anyway, because it leads to beautiful places.

 

Poking Holes in Our Illusions

I suspect half of what I think I know today is wrong, and that may be generous. I don’t know what I’m wrong about, or I would give it up. What’s more, the confirmation bias we all have predisposes us to weigh evidence based on what we already think is true and not even notice evidence to the contrary. How do I know that? Because with each passing season I watch Jesus poke holes in my illusions and invite me into truth. It’s one of my favorite things about him, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. 

Here’s how Eugene Peterson expressed it in his translation of John 5.  “(The world) is against me because I expose the evil behind their pretensions.” That is a mouthful, and it isn’t only true of the world, but also our worldly thoughts. Evil works behind our illusions, lies, and our pretenses to impress others. 

So, when Jesus, or anyone else, pokes holes in our illusions, we get defensive, grab our spiritual duct tape, and try to cover the hole. We like the illusions that comfort us and can even get hostile when they are challenged. As they fail us, either by Jesus’s intervention or when they bump up against the reality of life, it hurts. Illusions die a hard death. 

It’s what you feel when the God who is “supposed to protect you” allows some kind of tragedy into your life. The pain makes you question God, your faith, or whether he even loves you. Yet, that whole perspective is misplaced. He doesn’t “allow” bad things into our lives; they are simply the result of living in a fallen age. 

Without recognizing what’s true, we end up blaming God or ourselves, instead of learning how God works. He protects us by guiding us through the pain in our lives, refining our faith and perceptions of him in the process, and transforming the way we think and live. 

 

The Path to Freedom 

 

To his followers, Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). I used to think he was talking about theological truth. When you know Scripture and believe it, you will be free. 

Of course, knowing the truth about God and Jesus that Scripture teaches can be incredibly helpful, if we’ve interpreted it rightly. But that is easier said than done, since we have so many denominations simply because we can’t agree on what’s true even after 2000 years of studying the Bible. I’m convinced Jesus was talking about so much more than getting doctrine right. He wanted us to know the truth about ourselves and how we’re responding to the world around us. 

Much of his truth brings great joy—that we are deeply loved by God, that his death has relieved us from all shame and fear, and that he will care for us no matter what we face in this world. But what about those lies we’ve come to believe to comfort ourselves? We often decide what’s true based on whether it serves us well, so we pick up a lot of illusions—that following religious traditions makes us more special to God, that “my truth” is more important than his, or that God hates all the same people I do. 

Giving up those things is more difficult and makes us more resistant when he challenges them. Thus, before the truth sets us free, it messes with us first. Since so much of what we believe is based on lies, illusions, and half-truths, our first inclination when truth appears can be to reject it. So many times, I’ve thought, “I hope that isn’t true,” when I start to see something he’s showing me. Get past that and you’ll discover what a treasure his truth is, especially when its challenging. 

Embracing what’s true or doubling down on our illusions is a choice we face every day. Sometimes our friends won’t help us here. Holding to the same illusions we do, they may discourage us from following something different. You won’t be able to convince them otherwise by arguing with them. You can only live in such a way that they either marginalize you because you make them uncomfortable, or they seek you out because of how grounded the truth will make you, especially in adversity.

 

A Love for Truth

 

So, how do we know when you’re believing something that isn’t true?  In short, we won’t until Jesus by his Spirit reveals it to us. He didn’t say he’d give us a book but his Spirit “to guide us into truth (John 16:13), and John added that we all have an anointing that will help us distinguish between truth and error (I John 2:20). 

As we learn to follow the Spirit, he will help us to live in the light. That’s not easy and doesn’t come quickly, but he will show you the truth that you need, whether it is correcting our views of God or showing us how to navigate a difficult relationship.

We’ll never be able to study enough truth to navigate life by our own wisdom. What we can do is cultivate a heart that is ready for truth so that when it comes, we’ll recognize it. Paul told the Thessalonians that a “love of the truth” was our greatest protection from delusion at the end of the age (2 Thessalonians 2:10). That’s not about their salvation or God’s punishment; it’s the admission that the kingdom of darkness destroys; the kingdom of light heals. 

If you don’t love the truth, you will miss it when it comes. If you do, your heart will open to whatever his Spirit wants to show you. Here’s my resolve: “I want to know what’s true, even if I have to admit I’m wrong, even if I’ll need to apologize for my actions, and even if others reject me.”

When Jesus asked the Pharisees where they thought his authority came from, they refused to answer, knowing the crowd would judge them harshly no matter what they said. The reason they couldn’t see the truth is that they were more focused on what people thought of them than what God did (Mark 11). Anything we pursue, other than truth, will send us down trails that hurt us. That includes clicks and likes or wanting validation from people. When feeling good is more important than knowing truth, we will find ourselves wandering in increasing darkness.

My grandson and I watched the Matrix, where the hero must choose between taking a red pill that will open his eyes to the harsh truth or he can take a blue pill and stay in the comfort of an illusion that imprisons him. 

A few brutal scenes later, my grandson asked, “Which pill did Neo take?” 

“The Red pill,” I answered. 

“I want the blue pill!” he exclaimed, pointing to himself. “Blue pill!” 

I hope, in time, that changes for him, but he expressed where most people live. “Give me the comfort of my illusions rather than the challenges truth might bring.” And yet, those are the same people who, when their illusions eventually unravel, will complain that God ignored them, when he has been inviting them into his truth all along.

If you don’t love the truth above comfort, you will lean on those thoughts that keep you in the dark. What I admire so much about Sara in the last few years is her unrelenting passion to discover what was true about her past. It has been excruciatingly painful for her, but with Jesus alongside her it has been a beautiful process of healing. Darkness doesn’t fade away easily, but it will always yield to the light. 

 

Cultivate a Space for Truth to Appear

 

Caryn, if you love what’s true; it will come to you when you need it. These suggestions may help prepare the way. 

Ask him regularly to show you what’s true. My most ardent prayer is, “I want to know you as you really are, I want to see myself as you see me, and I want to see my circumstances through your eyes. Probe every corner of my heart and mind to expose any lie that traps me.” The more you follow truth, the easier it will become to love it. It opens the most amazing doors.

 

Check your heart frequently. In the things that concern you, do you want the truth or do you want the easy road? If you find yourself resisting a conversation because the truth might make you uncomfortable, maybe you have some room to explore here. I’ve had people flat out tell me, “I don’t want to know what’s going on here,” preferring the head-in-sand approach to embracing the light. If you really want to know the truth, you’ll ask questions, listen carefully, and not reject an insight just because it will cost you.

 

Play with uncomfortable thoughts to find out what his Spirit might be showing you. Don’t be afraid to learn something new. I find a growing restlessness in my heart when I am following an illusion. I may not know why, but if I honor the restlessness and ask him to show me, in time I’ll discover why. By the same token, when I am following his insights, I have a growing sense of rest in my heart, even in the middle of conflict. Be more suspicious of “discoveries” that seem to benefit you than those that challenge you.

 

Make it a regular part of your conversation with close friends who inspire you to truth: Ask the question, “What is true here?” Share what you’re contemplating and see what input they might have. Ask them to help you separate what you want to be true from what really might be true. Realize the truth will often be more difficult than our desires but therein lies the path to life.

 

Include people who don’t always agree with you and ask why they think like they do. That doesn’t mean they have it right, but it will give you thoughts to weigh as the Spirit will give you an increasing conviction about what is true.

 

Here are some cautionary guidelines that help me process the input of others: If someone is pushy, they are not helping me, but their own agenda. If someone thinks they know the motives of others, I don’t trust their conclusions, since accusing people of bad motives is the easiest way to elevate ourselves and dismiss others. When someone asks me to “believe” them when I ask questions, I know they don’t understand the nature of truth. And, if someone is angry or defensive, I know they are not confident about their own conclusions. Truth comes with a sense of peace and quiet that doesn’t bleed on others.

 

 Watch the fruit of what you embrace as true. Does it help resolve your response in tight situations without having to be mean or lie? Does it offer you a place in God’s love and safety even if it doesn’t fix everything the way you want? Does it keep you grounded in safety and love?

 

Enjoy the Journey

 

Discovering what’s true is a lifelong adventure. No one can possibly know it all; it is as vast as the ocean. No one would claim to be an expert by simply walking on a beach, exploring a few tidepools, or even scuba diving. All we need to know is the truth that helps us today. Realizing that will help you live humbly. 

I’m not talking here about the big-ticket theological realities we know with certainty—that God created us, that Jesus, as God in the flesh, came to redeem us back to his Father from where we had fallen, and that we can trust him with every detail of our lives. But there are so many other matters where we can think less, “I’m right about this,” and more, “This is the best I see at the moment.”  

Stay curious, open, and flexible as the Spirit continues to draw you more deeply into his reality. Loving the truth and the desire to be right are not the same thing. The desire to be right will lead you down false trails to defend yourself. Better to apologize for an error than prop up a mistake with more of the same.

Don’t think walking in truth means you owe everyone the whole truth, unless you’re in court. You owe them authenticity. When you speak, speak what’s true, as much as you think will help them. And when you don’t want to share something, just say, “I’m not comfortable talking about that right now.” 

As a man from Australia wrote me a few months ago, “Christianity has weaponized truth instead of embodying the Truth.”  What a great statement! We’ve gleaned truth from Scriptures and push it on others with condemnation and shame, only to disaffect them from the God who can bring truth into their hearts.  

When you can rest in what’s true, you’ll realize just how precious it is and you’ll respect the process for others to discover it as well, knowing it is as important as the truth itself. Then you won’t have to push people to your conclusions, and you won’t need their agreement to validate you.  

Caryn, in the next letter we’re going to talk more about training our eyes to see what his Spirit is doing around us and ears to hear what he is saying to us. For now, let your love for the truth deepen, and with it, hold lightly the things you already think are true, so he has room to show you what really is. 

Then you’ll be ready for whatever may come. 

 

_________________________

You can access previous chapters here.  Stay Tuned for Chapter 9.

Chapter 8: Love What Is True Read More »

Is There Any Vengeance in God?

32 Comments / Encouragement /

Proposal:  There is no vengeance in God’s agony for the sin of the world. 

I’m putting that out there, hoping to start a conversation with many of you.

I grew up believing God was incredibly vengeful. The Old Testament writers convinced me. Their writings were full of God-is-going-to-get-you passages against Israel’s enemies, and even against Israel itself when they fell to worshipping idols or disobeying his commands. They saw every calamity as an intentional act of God, and he was angry a lot. Passages like those used to terrify me as a young boy growing up and I was extra careful to make sure I was one of the good guys, trying to follow God as best I could. But that doesn’t mean I was free of sin, or didn’t go wayward at times, following my own path. I used to be so afraid of what he might do to me because of my failures.

But, as I wrote in last week’s chapter of It’s Time, Jesus talks about his Father quite differently. “For God so loved the world…,” and “He is kind and gracious to the wicked and the ungrateful.” Jesus came to win people into his Father’s love, not scare them half to death. He painted the picture of a tender Father, seeking reconciliation with his wayward children.

How do we account for this drastic difference? What if the Old Testament writers were interpreting God’s anguish for the world through their pre-cross lens of shame and fear? The writers felt God’s agony for the  people he loved when they were seduced into sin and deceit. What if he’s not angry at all, just in pain for the suffering of his beloved?

I know we can prooftext our way to vengeance easily. We can also prooftext our way to love and generosity. But I want to know who God really is and so I’m rethinking in this arena with the God I know. That’s always my prayer, I want to know him as he really is, not how I want him to be or how religion has interpreted him to be. It is not lost on me that those most knowledgeable about the Old Testament couldn’t recognize Jesus as God’s son when he was in the same room with them. They completely misunderstood God and couldn’t understand the forgiveness and generosity with Jesus toward “sinners.”

Why am I exploring this? For the last thirty years as I’ve been growing in the wonder of living loved, instead of trying to earn his love, I’ve noticed a shift in my thinking about who he is. And, eighteen months ago I felt God’s invitation to spend some time inside his agony and lament for the world, as he had been with me in the days when Sara was gone. One day, as I was seeking some answers for how we might pray against the delusion and anger that is in the world, he seemed to say that the answers I sought were inside his grief for the suffering of the world.  Then, almost as an aside, came this hint:  “There is no vengeance in my agony.” I’ll be honest, the thought surprised me. I hadn’t realized before how much I thought his anguish was anger.

So over the past eighteen months I have looked for vengeance inside my Father’s agony. I haven’t found it. What’s more, I find less of it in my own heart. One person shared with me recently that someone was going to pay a severe price for the did wrong they did to me. My visceral response was, “Oh God, please no.” I didn’t want a drop of vengeance for them, only a pathway to freedom .

That got me to contemplate the Scripture, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” It is first recorded in Deuteronomy 32 and repeated by Paul in Romans 12, as an encouragement for us not to seek payback when we are wronged. Instead, Paul adds, feed your enemy if he is hungry or give him something to drink, if he is thirsty. Give back good instead of seeking revenge.

The instruction behind both of these passages is to make room for God’s wrath. Seemingly, he will get them in the end, so you don’t have to. I’ve banked a lot of pain into that account. When people have wronged me, especially in the “world,” I have been comforted by the fact that they will get theirs someday.  I’m not alone. The Psalmist often found solace there. So the reason I can be kind to those who hurt me is by trusting that God will hurt them worse. I have even prayed some of those prayers in days long past hoping God would vindicate me through retribution. I haven’t felt comfortable doing so for the past couple of decades.

God’s wrath, however, is not his unrequited anger doling out severe punishment to evil-doers, but his zeal to consume the destruction of sin to redeem the world. With that in mind, could this passage mean something different than God will get revenge on my enemies. Jesus doesn’t come vengeful? He doesn’t even punish those who lied about him to have him executed; he forgives them. Maybe, “Vengeance is mine” means that God takes the vengeance of humanity into himself. “I’ll take it; dish out your worst.”  Isn’t that what happens on the cross?  He takes to himself the sins of the whole world.

No wonder God didn’t answer those prayers from my old days.  Not once. I’ve never seen God take vengeance on people who have done me wrong. I’ve thought about Uriah in that context as well. The husband of Bathsheba, whom King David plunders one night while Uriah was off at war on David’s behalf. She gets pregnant, and when Uriah won’t sleep with her when David returns home to cover his transgression, he has Uriah killed. Ask Uriah just how vengeful God is when you see him someday.  Yes, the child of his rape dies, but David ends up marrying Bathsheba, who gives birth to the next king of Israel.

And what if “I will repay” does not mean, “I will hurt your enemies to the degree that they hurt you?”  What if it means, “I will repay you, for what evil others have done to you.” Now, that prayer is one I’ve seen answered many times. I have seen God pay me back for what others have stolen from me, and I am talking about more meaningful ways than money. And not having to navigate the fleshy desire for vengeance makes it much easier to sense how his Spirit might be asking me to respond in painful situations.

What’s more, can vengeance ever be redemptive? I see the parents of murdered children celebrate “justice”, whenever their child’s murderer is executed or sent to prison for life without the possibility of parole.  “We finally got justice,” they say. But did they? Did the punishment of the perpetrator restore their child?  Of course not. For justice, we need something far more powerful than revenge, and that is what we entrust to God. So, while I’m grateful when a murderer is convicted and off the street, I don’t think the family got justice. Their loss remains. Only God can restore what others have stolen, certainly not that child, but others to love and a life that is full even with the grief of their loss.

So, I’m wondering if our hope that a vengeful God will give worldly people what they deserve only feeds our own desire for vengeance, even if we don’t get to dispense it. Is that why we still can respond to the animosity of the world with a vitriol of our own? Where then do we find the secret of being “kind and grateful to the wicked and the ungrateful?”

This will obviously be a major shift in how I read Scripture. The miracle of the Old Testament is that they saw through their shame bias to discover a God that was slow to anger (if at all) and abounding in lovingkindness. There’s the miracle. They saw his true nature, even though their internal shame blamed God for every bad thing. I don’t know any other way where both Scripture and my engagement with God can live freely in the same space. When I contemplate this kind of shift, I like to run it past others to hear what they think. I am finding no vengeance in God’s agony and want to put that out for others to explore and comment on.  So, what do you think?  It would be great to have an open, honest, and generous conversation in the comments below.

Don’t just give your opinion without contemplating some of these thoughts. Then, let’s think through this together and see what we learn.

Is There Any Vengeance in God? Read More »

Chapter 7: The Power of Tenderness

3 Comments / It's Time / / , , , , , , ,

Note: This is the seventh in a series of letters written for those who will be living at the end of the age, whenever that comes. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

“Since I got back from Afghanistan, I have noticed a growing anger and aggression among my Christian friends. They seem to want to force God’s kingdom on others, some are even taking weapon training to prepare for what’s next. I want to see the kingdom come, but something inside me is unsettled by this. Where is Jesus here?  

Aaron, 38, VA mental health counselor near Dallas, TX

Hi Aaron, 

In my last letter, I wrote about the joy in learning to follow the Lamb wherever he goes. It’s not lost on me that the book most centered on the end of the age uses the image of a lamb almost exclusively to describe Jesus’s final redemption of the earth.  

Only in the first chapter of Revelation does Jesus appear as the Lion of Judah. In every reference thereafter, he is portrayed as one like “a Lamb who had been slain.” He is the one worthy of worship and to unseal the scroll of the last days. The Lamb overcomes darkness and introduces a future free of it. In the end, all of that is celebrated at the marriage feast of the Lamb.  

And yet, “Lions not Lambs” is a popular meme for many Christians today on bumper stickers, t-shirts, and social media. I get it. Sick and tired of losing to a secular agenda and belittled by a left-leaning press, many conservative Christians want to assert whatever power they can muster to bend culture back to their preferences. Thus, they seek political power, often by less-than-honest means, or adopt a Seven Mountain Mandate to dominate the culture with their beliefs. 

There is no end of so-called prophets or apostles tapping into that frustration. Their anger and their war metaphors run counter to the nature of Jesus. They have yet to realize that when you seek to dominate the world, you will become like the world, and in doing so, unwittingly leave the true power of the Gospel behind. When you chart your course by anger, it is impossible to stay inside his love and recognize how God works far better through our kindness than our belligerence.  

It is a message long lost in the realms of Christianity where many see themselves as another interest group vying for control of the culture. Though their desire to spread the life of Jesus may be genuine, they have taken up the wrong tools. They assume the conquering hero at the end of the age will look more like a roaring lion than a wounded lamb, but Jesus’s kingdom doesn’t work that way. The nature of the Lamb will prevail, winning by love what coercion can never repair. 

There is no better image to keep in mind to warn us away from putting our hope in human effort. Compelling others to do what we think they should do, even in the name of God, will make us despots in the end. Few human leaders have held on to their honor or their kindness to others in the wake of rising human power—political, military, or religious.[PD1]  Amassing power will invariably drive us to compromise our character and make horrific alliances with ungodly elements in our society that will render the Gospel impotent. We can attain our agenda at the same time we subvert his kingdom.

 

True Power

Aaron, to follow the Lamb wherever he goes, we will need to see power in a different way. True power is found in loving, even to the giving up of our lives for the welfare of others. It looks weak, of course, when arrogance and bullying seem to win so easily over kindness and compassion. But the meek will inherit the earth, and until we choose to lay our lives down instead of forcing our agendas, we will never discover the greater power that has the capacity to transform this world.

It’s easy to see why we do it. When someone takes advantage of us, it’s only natural to want to fight back. Fighting for a righteous cause may seem like our duty on the surface, but your restlessness is the Spirit warning you away from such tactics. Jesus’s words to Pilate explain why: “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest. My kingdom is from another place.”

Take a beat and sit with those words. It’s one of the most profound things he said. 

Like us, his own followers missed the point. James and John wanted fire from heaven to consume a group of Samaritans, and Peter cut off an ear of the high priest’s servant. Acting out of our human aggressions will make it harder to recognize how Jesus leads us. Our fears will seek a Lion-Redeemer to right the wrongs done to us, and we’ll find ourselves more distant from Jesus. Only a growing trust in him will put us in touch with the Lamb-Redeemer and the power of humility, kindness, and compassion. None of the fruits of the Spirit encourage us to get even with those who mistreat us or take control of others for God’s sake. Instead, the fruit of his love in us leads to peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness. 

That does not mean that nations don’t have the authority to make laws and police them nor that a military cannot restrain the power of evil growing in the world. God has sanctioned such things, even if they often lead to injustice and corruption. The levers of power, however, will never bring redemption to humanity. 

Yielding to the urge to dominate only makes sense to those who have lost sight of the power of his love. When you learn to serve the world as Jesus did (Mark 10:42), instead of dominating it, then you’ll find the true power of redemption. Only he can teach you how to embrace tender-heartedness in the face of your fears, but here are some of the things that help me: 

 

1.     Separate yourself from angry voices. 

That’s not easy in our day because there is so much outrage just under the surface of so many in these ever-darkening days. 

The media have discovered that tapping our anger or fear will hold our gaze. Denigrating our perceived enemies helps garner votes and raise funds. It’s also true in our pulpits and those who claim prophetic gifts—whether they are railing against the ways of the world or the failure of Christians to live up to God’s standards. Even when sharing good news, their countenance is twisted with anger and their voice is pitched with rage.

While anger can provoke people to action, it does not endear them to Jesus or his purpose in the world. Righteous indignation is a great way to justify turning our fears into hatred. The voice of Jesus comes with tenderness and invitation, even when he clears out the temple or confronts religious leaders for their hypocrisy.  

So, if you have fallen for the voice of the angry prophets and preachers, even if they promise revival, walk away! If they grasp for political power and the rule of law, they are building an earthly kingdom, not Jesus’s. If they justify lies and anger to restore Christianity’s power, they have missed God’s heart. God’s kingdom does not impose morality on a hostile people but invites the broken and traumatized into the wonder of his love. 

God would say similar words to them that he spoke to the false prophets and teachers of Jeremiah’s day: “I did not send you; you’re not speaking my words and you are causing great hurt and destruction by deceiving my people. Stop it.” But they won’t; building personal networks and raking in money is too intoxicating. So, it’s up to you to separate yourself from angry voices. 

One of the best decisions I made was to turn off those voices that didn’t speak with the tenderness of his love. I unsubscribed from a Christian magazine whose worship of celebrity constantly frustrated me. I spend less time with people who simmer in anger and those who mock and scoff. You don’t need to confront them; just take your distance and marinate yourself in the love of a Father who agonizes over the lost. 

Pride and arrogance are easier to recognize when you don’t take in a steady diet of them. Never trust the words of an angry person, no matter what “truth” they may be expounding. Whatever they have learned, they did so without engaging Truth himself and thus their heart is not refined in love. There is no anger in God’s redemption for the lost and broken.

 

2.     Think reconciliation, not payback. 

I grew up thinking God only loved the home team, those who follow his commands, and was vengeful to the away team who did not. I worked hard to ensure I stayed on the home team, and this dualistic thinking allowed me to take up the language of vengeance with any who didn’t serve God the way I did. 

The Old Testament set me up for that, but I began to discover how incomplete it was without Jesus showing us a very different picture of God. The conclusion that he is a vengeful deity toward those who fail him is a misunderstanding of his nature, which is why he shocked the Pharisees. “Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.” Why would we do that? Because that’s what his Father does: “He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:35-36)

I never heard that in Sunday School. And yet, in the middle of his torturous death, Jesus asked for the forgiveness of his enemies, not their punishment. He took their vengeance into himself and paid them back with grace and forgiveness. In doing so, he showed us how to embrace his Father’s love in a way that brings his kingdom into our world.

So, when someone angers you, take a breath. Ask yourself how you might respond graciously. Don’t ask how you can get even; find a way to be kind. We are ambassadors of reconciliation, not purveyors of vengeance. You can even practice turning from anger when other drivers provoke your rage. Instead of ranting at them, even internally, discover what it means to drive graciously, then do in everything.

That’s the way God has treated me. He seeks reconciliation, not retribution. He has never bullied me into obedience. He’s not overbearing or manipulative and is even kind to me in my mistakes and failures. His goodness opens the door to knowing him, and yet he always leaves the choice in our hands. That’s how love works, even when others abuse it. 

Father Gregory Boyle of Homeboy Industries thinks of it this way: “Kindness is the only non-delusional response to everything, which is to say all other responses—rage, anger, self-righteousness, high horsiness—everything else is delusional. Kindness isn’t.”

It takes more wisdom and grace to live inside love than it takes to give in to your fear, anger, or desire for vengeance, and fight the world on its terms. Nothing disturbs our fleshly inclinations or our religious prerogatives more than choosing a path of tenderness in the face of hostility.

 

3.     Entrust outcomes to God

From our youth we’ve learned how to use every resource at our disposal to manipulate others to the outcome we want. It doesn’t always work, but not for lack of trying. However, we are not responsible for the outcome of anything, only our response to him. 

The One who loves you most and wants the best for you has relinquished the power to make you follow him. Redemption can only happen where people embrace it freely and discover a love so compelling that they want to be a part of it. That’s why we can’t live this way without leaving the outcome to God. It takes more strength and wisdom to give up power in our relationships than it does to manipulate them. 

I would not be married today if Jesus hadn’t taught me that lesson over the last twenty years. When I came home from a trip a few years ago, and discovered Sara had left me, cut off all communication, and was initiating a divorce, I couldn’t have been more shocked. I had no clue this was coming, especially since I knew of no conflict between us. From those actions and the note she left me, I knew she was in trouble. I’m not a perfect husband, but I knew I wasn’t the person in her letter. 

Without ever talking to me, her therapist had assumed her rising PTSD was caused by an abusive husband, and coached Sara into leaving me to escape the horrible pain that raged in her body. From the start, the counsel I received was not to rush after her and confront her. “Keep your heart open; let her come back to you in her time” was the most difficult counsel I’ve ever followed, but I’m glad I did. 

When I had contact with Sara, I assured her that I loved her and would be willing to work through anything, but I forced nothing. The first time I saw her three weeks after she left, she only wanted to discuss how we would handle the grandchildren post-divorce, and that’s all we talked about. I left a hundred questions unasked and a ton of comments unspoken. I let her have the conversation she wanted, and when we parted, she asked if I wanted to spend more time together. I was both shocked and thrilled. 

The next day, she came over and stayed for six hours. Again, I let her shape the conversation. She said later that my tenderness caused her to reconsider everything her therapist had convinced her to be true about me. In a few weeks, we were finding our way back and, with a new therapist, discovered that Sara’s PTSD had been caused by childhood trauma that had lain hidden in her memories for over sixty years.  

Our love eventually triumphed over her trauma. Didn’t Jesus do the same when he brought us his kingdom? He didn’t force himself on broken humanity, but gently demonstrated the love of his Father, letting each decide whether they would embrace him or not. Even though it eventually cost him his life as the powers that be rejected his message and his kingdom, he knew the only hope of reconciliation could come from the free choice of loved people. 

 

4.     Learn the Path of Least Control 

My first experience with this came over 30 years ago when my co-pastor and a small group of elders lied about a resignation I had not offered. My first inclination was to come back and fix the lie. I had the power and affection to right the wrong. However, I also had this nagging thought that I later identified as Jesus’s leading: “I have more to teach you if you walk away than if you stay.” I had no idea what that meant and eventually conceded to it partly because I didn’t have the will to do to them what they had done to me, even if I was in the right.  

Unfortunately, that didn’t bring reconciliation with them. But whatever they stole from me, and it was significant, Jesus repaid many times over and made me more resilient in tragedy by teaching me a different way to live inside his love. It’s the only way to overturn darkness in the world; vengeance can only meet pain with more pain. 

If you hear these words calling you to be a doormat for the abuse of others or a whipping post for their rage, you’re not ready for them. Giving up control doesn’t diminish our authenticity nor prevent us from establishing boundaries where others seek to harm us. Jesus didn’t let the Pharisees co-opt him, nor did he react to their threats. 

That would be easy for Jesus, right? He knew God had his back, regardless of what others hurled at him, and it would all give way to a greater redemption. And it will be easier for you when you discover that God has your back and hasn’t left you to your own devices. Until you have enough security inside God’s love, you won’t be able to stop trying to take control. This is a steep learning curve to realize control is an illusion and Jesus’s ability to care for you can lead you through the injustice or accusations of others. 

Giving up control to others does not mean giving into their control. “Religious” people often have an agenda and will use any means necessary to force it on others. In doing so, they operate in the wrong spirit and do more harm than good. When you discover that people are lying to you or about you, or trying to control you with guilt or shame, walk away!

Learn to say, “I am not treating you this way, and I hope you’ll stop doing it to me.” Even though Jesus didn’t seek to control others, you would never have called him a push over. He submitted to their abuse only when his Father asked him to, and when he had the internal strength to endure it for a greater purpose. Even on the cross, he wasn’t powerless.  By loving in the face of their dishonesty, forgiving their abuse, and allowing their evil to crush him, he opened wide the doors of redemption.

Aaron, you can’t lay down your life if you don’t have the freedom not to. Giving up control is not weakness. You can be firm in kindness and say no to whatever is not in your heart to do. Being firm in what’s true and kind in the face of rejection is the greatest nightmare for those who seek to control you. It may make them even angrier, but it will set you free to honor the work of Jesus in you.  

 

God’s power at the end of the age is not boast and bluster, threats and anger; it is the gentleness of a Lamb. It is in the power of love and lives laid down that God makes himself known in our world, which is why Jesus told us to be “as wise as serpents, but as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). Let’s join him. 

Centuries of Old Testament stories conditioned us to expect a God that comes to exact vengeance. That’s what Israel’s leaders hoped for its enemies, and they missed his first coming. We are in a similar danger if we look for God’s vengeance instead of his redemption for the world he deeply loves. 

 

_________________________

You can access previous chapters here.  Stay Tuned for Chapter 8.

Chapter 7: The Power of Tenderness Read More »

A Culture of Abuse

10 Comments / Culture Watch / / , , ,

I listened to this yesterday and how wish everyone else would too. It isn’t easy to listen to, but this presentation by Sheila Wray Gregoire, an author and researcher on sexual abuse offers some critical information for us to understand the culture of abuse that permeates Christianity. According to her research, much of evangelical teaching on marriage and sexuality actually creates a climate of abuse not only within a marriage, but within the body of Christ as well.

According to her, the unspoken conclusion of many evangelical books about marriage encourage the idea that “men are entitled to women’s bodies; (they) cannot be expected to act honorably or even safely. So, when men do harm it’s because some woman, somewhere hasn’t done her job.”

I hope that turns your stomach as much as it did mine when I heard it yesterday morning. According to the podcast description, “Sheila and her team  analyzed many popular Christian books on sex. Many teach that men are incapable of not objectifying women. And instead of training men to control their urges, these books teach that women must save these men. If a husband struggles with porn, for example, it’s his wife’s job to give him more sex so he can go cold turkey. If a husband is abusive to his wife, it’s his wife’s job to pray the abuse away. And if you’re a single woman, it’s your job to dress in such a way that your body never “intoxicates” a man. With messages like these, is it any wonder that abuse victims often feel like it’s their fault if someone hurts them? Is it any wonder that pastors like John MacArthur can convince wives that it’s her duty to stay with a man who abuses her and their children?”

So, when you read that another Christian pastor, speaker or author has been exposed for abusing women, on their staff, in their congregation, among twenty-somethings attending there schools and seminars, or even children in their care, don’t be shocked. That’s the environment we’ve created by thinking men are too weak to resist temptation and that women are responsible to prevent them. Just this past week a popular pastor and author from the Dallas area was exposed for molesting a twelve-year old girl in her bedroom and that it continued for five years. He was in his twenties at the time, but the church eldership knew about it in 2005, and let him continue to lead the congregation until it became public last week. The list of popular leaders, authors, prophets, and speakers who have taught things about Jesus while being abusing women grows even longer. When will we care enough to end the view of women that allows this abuse to persist?

Until we break the environment that allows this abuse to hide in the shadows of religion, it will continue to disfigure the image of God in the world.  What is it about our perception of the Gospel that allows men and women to teach about it, without his presence actually penetrating their hearts? Why is it that so many “gifted leaders” feel entitled to take whatever they want from women for their own amusement? I’m also curious why do we not see the darkness in charismatically-gifted personalities until their sexual sins are exposed? Before those come to light their lack of transformation in Jesus almost always shows up in the arrogance, anger, excess and manipulation of others around them.

We’ve got to rid ourselves of the notion that these are just men committing “indiscretions.” These are men who take decades of wholeness from young women for their own pleasure. Their actions cause traumatic reactions that can last for decades. I see the effects of sexual trauma every day in Sara’s courageous battle to overcome what her relatives did to her at a very young age. Yes, God loves these perpetrators and wants to redeem them, but before we get there, let’s not minimize the damage they done. If they had experienced a real engagement with Jesus, they wouldn’t see women as prey and when they turn from their sin they would offer to do whatever they could, including pay for therapy all the therapy their victim might need to help mitigate the grave damage they have caused. The fact that we show more compassion for the abuser than we do the victim in these cases, is because we don’t understand the horrific damage sexual abuse causes.

Please listen to her podcast, and see how you can change the environment in which women are exploited among the family of God. Abuse is not just a problem of a few weak men; it is a systemic problem that permeates evangelical culture as much as it does in the world.

These things ought not to be, and talking openly about it is the first step to unraveling the false teachings that harm women.

A Culture of Abuse Read More »

And the Lessons You Will Learn

1 Comment / Behind the Scenes /

Not only did we go to some amazing places, talked with a lot of incredible people, but we also learned so much about each other and how God is working in us. Every day is an adventure in the life of Jesus no matter where we are. I love how he shows up in the most subtle ways throughout any day and the new insights he sows into our hearts. They may come as a stray thought, seemingly out of the blue, or arise from a conversation with each other, a friend or stranger, or in a a song lyric, scene from a movie, or a quote from a book, article, or email.

What we learned from this trip has already shown up in the blogs I wrote and podcasts I recorded on the road and others will also appear in future chapters of my latest book.

Sara and I learned much more about each other and what we were going through at various moments in our marriage. From deep inside Sara’s world, I see things from a vantage point I’ve not had before. As she continues to experience her healing, we shared some of the amazing tools Sara has gained to help her deal with a traumatic past she didn’t know she had until only two years ago, though the pain had been deeply felt in her mind and body the last twenty years. And, a song we were enjoying was the catalyst for a conversation about special moments throughout our marriage that invited us deeper into love. Some came through great hardship and pain, others in times of honesty and vulnerability, and still others in beauty and joy.

We have wrestled with a new way to read the Old Testament, which allows it to be understood more in light of the Jesus and have seen how much that has helped us see more clearly how his love works in the world and our own lives.

We’ve been reminded that love is a whisper in a world fraught with noise, anger, and manipulation. If we don’t slow down enough to hear it, we may well mistakenly conclude Jesus isn’t with us, showing us a way forward in his mercy and grace. We’re learning to tun our hearts to the whispers and to lean away from the distractions that draw our eyes away from him.

We have appreciated the myriad ways God leads people into his life and fullness. No curriculum will work for everyone; just a naked hunger to know God as he is and ourselves as we are. If we don’t guard it, our hunger can be easily buried by anxiety or busyness, or we can get distracted by responsibilities or amusements.

It will be no different tomorrow after we get home. This RV trip has ended, but our journeys with him will continue to unfold, albeit in a more familiar venue with people we love here.

We are excited to discover what this next chapter might be, and to get some more writing done than the trail allows.

 

 

 

And the Lessons You Will Learn Read More »

The People You Will Meet…

1 Comment / Beyond Sundays /

We meet many people in RV Parks who are traveling to National Parks or other points of interest. We’ve seen some interesting sights, too, including forests, beaches, historic towns, Churchill Downs, and even the new Sphere in Las Vegas. But what governs our travel is the people we meet and the invitations people extend to us. Unfortunately, we were invited to more places than we fit on this trip, but we are grateful for the connections we were able to make.

In the picture above, we are having lunch with good friends at Tupelo Honey in downtown Denver. They had just asked how I was dealing with some of the family relationships I’d lost in the past few years. While I miss people greatly who decided we were no longer worthy of their presence, I turned to put my hand on Sara’s arm and said, “I’m doing great because I have this!” They captured the moment in that photo.

While I still hold out hope that God’s healing in my extended family will continue to unfold, I have the treasure that makes every day a delight. Being with this woman, especially as God is righting the damage that was done to her in her childhood, has been the greatest joy of my life. The joy and laughter we share now make my heart sing and bring a smile to my face at every thought of her.

We don’t think of taking pictures of the people we are with, but they sometimes do and send us copies. Here are some of the engagements we’ve had with people on this trip that hold a wealth of memories. There are so many more for which we do not have pictures, rich conversations with old friends, or getting to know some new people Father put in our path.

No doubt, God’s family is a rich tapestry being woven together throughout the world. Here are some pictures that can give you a feel for what we experienced. And yes, there did seem to be a lot of food and laughter involved, as well as deep tears and open hearts.

 

 

The People You Will Meet… Read More »

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