Wayne Jacobsen

For those in the US, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving weekend. This one was special with our new granddaughter. We got in lots of family time in. It has been so good to be home over such a long stretch. It is something I haven’t had the pleasure of doing for many years.

I found myself in Psalm 19 over the weekend, reading in The Message when I came across this verse:

I love the freshness of a new morning and love it most starting it with Father and a slate wiped clean by the cleansing stream of his forgiveness. I like unwrapping days like Christmas presents from a close friend, with the delight of seeing what this one will bring to pass. I am always anxious to see how he will make himself known, not only in those moments I’m surprised by joy but also in those moments where God appears in the midst of my pain and trials. It’s an amazing thing that we get to taste his mercies brand new every morning.

But what really hit me in this verse was David’s description of stupid sins, and then describes one I have known all to well in my spiritual journey—“…thinking I can take over your work.” I laughed out loud when I read it. I’ve never noticed it called a stupid sin before, but it certainly is. This sin doesn’t prey on our intentional indulgences. It preys on our forgetfulness. It makes us plunge headlong into something God has begun in our life thinking we know enough now to take it over on our own. My biggest messes have come from Wayne taking over some wonderful thing God has begun, thinking I can do God a favor by taking it on from here.

Oh, for the grace each day to recognize the difference between God’s work and mine—to simply do what he has asked me to do and watch his purpose unfold, rather than assume I know and try to do for myself that which only God can do. I think the greatest deterrent to people walking this journey is the overestimation of our own capabilities. We’re seduced by Ben Franklin’s dictum, that “God helps those who help themselves.” I’m always amazed and a bit disappointed that he lets me take over so easily. And like a young child with a new gadget he thinks he already knows how to use, I usually end up breaking it. And like a tender Father, he finds a way to mend my mess and give me a fresh start.

Father, save me today from the stupid sin of thinking I can take over your work. Let me simply live freely in you today and simply respond as you desire to that which you’ve already begun in my life.

I got this desperate plea to a recent blog about a conversation with someone on my article Why I Don’t Go to Church Anymore.

MaryAnn, my heart goes out to you. I know you’re in a tough spot and I don’t have near the details or firsthand knowledge to know how to advise you specifically, but I can give you some things to think through:

• God wouldn’t put this passion on your heart and let you see what you see if he did not have a way to lead you through this to greater freedom. Get alone somewhere and lay it all at his feet. Ask him to show you what to do and when to do it and watch him make it clear to you as situations unfold. Don’t look for others to tell you what to do, but for him to lead you step by step.


• The reason we often aren’t honest with people is because we’re afraid—of their reaction, of the consequences, or the position they hold in our lives. This isn’t easy, but Paul said the only way we will grow up as the body is to speak the truth lovingly to each other. The reason people keep doing the stupid things they do in God’s name is because people are afraid to speak out and usually only do so when the anger builds up enough that they have no choice. This rarely yields the fruit of the kingdom. Better to do it when love for the person overcomes our fear, rather than our anger at feeling trapped. It’s amazing what being honest with our hearts will do to put us on paths we never considered before and even limit our options so we can more clearly follow Jesus. The path to follow him is often painful. He warned us it would be and that some of our closest friends wouldn’t understand. But the freedom to be true to ourselves and what he is doing in us is one of the greatest freedoms he offers.


• I applaud your desire to walk with your husband through this. Keep talking and praying and see what God does to make your hearts one. Don’t push him, but also let him know that this is a critical issue going on in your life and you’re hopeful that you will be able to find a way through this together. Too many spouses end up on different journeys here because they don’t know how to invite the other along without manipulating them. You do want to go together as much as you both are able through these things and even stay where he is a bit longer until God makes it clear as well. There is grace for these things.


• I know you see these issues of church life as black and white. I do too! But when I talk about them with others who don’t see what I see, that kind of language puts them on the defensive and closes the door to effective communication. Even about things I’m most certain about I’ll say something like, “I know I could be nuts here, but this is what I think Jesus is asking me to do;” or “I’m feeling called to something a bit different here.” That way they get to listen to what I’m saying and consider it without feeling that I’ve taken a superior position and judging them. Only in very rare instances of God’s direct leading, will I make a definitive statement of right and wrong because in the end I know that hardens more hearts than it softens. I don’t want to harden any hearts God isn’t hardening. I know people can’t see the incredible freedom that Christ has made available to us until they see it. I can live it, without making them do so as well, or feeling judged by my actions.

I don’t know if that helps, Mary Ann, but I know God is big enough to sort these things out in you and lead you in his path. And to that end you have my prayers.

I’m just getting around to posting this because of all the excitement around here. Last week, David Hebden, a brother from Vancouver Island, British Columbia posted a list of questions last week to the Lifestream Community that I thought were worth a second and third look. As I recall these sprang to mind while he was on a walk in the woods with his dogs.

I love the wonder of them. I love how they recapture our sense of relationship with God and our humility as he sorts these things out in us. They made me trust more in Father’s work in my life and smile when I think of him. My hope is that they inspire you as well. So with his permission…

Last night at 10:34 p.m. Julie gave birth at last to Aimee Noelle Willliams after more than 26 hours of labor. Aimee came posterior, which means she was face up and face down which makes the birth canal much more difficult and painful to navigate. The medical staff was at the point of considering a C-section when Julie was finally able to push her free. Both mom and baby (and dad and grandparents) are doing fantastic!

I have never admired my daughter’s courage, tenacity and strength more than I did over the last two days. Sara was with her and Tyler throughout the entire birthing process and spilled out of the room last night overwhelmed with joy when Aimee finally arrived. Sara and I stayed on until 1:00 at Tyler’s request and I got to hold her a bunch. She is so expressive, busy and has the same dimple on her chin that her mother and I do!

What a joy. We are so grateful for what God has done in this whole process. It was long, and difficult, but has made our joy all the sweeter to hold her in our arms and to share Tyler and Julie’s absolute joy! >/p>

We have had another situation affect the emotions of this weekend. Sara’s principal at the school where he works had a massive heart attack at a playoff football game on Friday night and died in the same hospital later that night that we were in with Julie, though we did not know it. Sara and her boss were close, as he was with all the staff and students. He will be deeply missed and we covet your prayers this week for her school. Life is strange, isn’t it? Life and death in the same weekend. Great joy and unspeakable tragedy… Please pray for his wife. Her mother died less than a month ago and this was totally unforeseen. Pray too for her school this week as well.

I’ve been enjoying Ephesians again this week. What a book! What a glorious invitation into Father’s purpose for us in the world by being connected to this living, breathing family called the church. To enjoy that, however, we have to be connected with God’s purpose in our own lives. Church is not a substitute for God’s presence it’s the life people who know him can share together. Why do so many people miss it?

Perhaps Ephesians 2 gives us a hint. In the first part of the chapter Paul writes, “You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live.” (The Message) Isn’t that true? When we didn’t know God we let the world tell us how to live by pursuing pleasure, comfort and possessions, driven by our fears and our appetites and grasping for whatever made us feel secure. How wasted that life is.

He finishes Ephesians 2 with this phrase; “This kingdom of faith is now your home country… You belong here!” The more we live connected to God the freer we are to be at home in him and instead of living in fear, we get to learn the joy of living securely in his love and his unfolding purpose in our lives. This kingdom of faith becomes a welcomed home for us instead of foreign territory. People growing in their love for Father and the joy of learning to live with increasing trust in him will find instant fellowship with each other. Without it, we’re just left to religious theories and activities that run us ragged without bearing any fruit in our lives.

One man wrote me recently about a house church he gathers with and made a poignant comment: “I wonder if many of them have become used to talking about the theories of these truths, but not really taken to heart the practice of them. Not that I have either… I have contemplated things like this for years and only recently made more of an actual change of mind heart and actions to walk this out.” I think religion does that to us. It preoccupies us with theory while we miss the journey of living in an increasing awareness of his reality each day.”

I am also just starting a book highly recommended to me by someone from Australia. After perusing it on Amazon, I decided to buy it. Look what I found this morning:

The book is called Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious thoughts on Christian Spirituality by Don Miller. I haven’t read enough of it to recommend it yet, but I like what I’ve read so far. I appreciate anyone who sees his or her Christian experience as growing engagement with the reality of the Father, not an endless discussion over theories or an fruitless observance of ritual.

Come on! Jump on in! The water is incredible!

I visited a house church in Fullerton, CA over the weekend who has been on an interesting journey outside the walls of what most people call church. Recently the guy who is the ‘pastor’ of the church organization he left nine months back wrote to ask how “house church” was going. This is how he replied:

For the last few days I’ve been working on the finishing touches to a new article, entitled Healing the Cultural Divide. It is a retrospective on the recent presidential election for my BridgeBuilders website. You can read the article here and view some interesting maps that provide an interesting perspective on the cultural divide. Here are a couple of excerpts from the article.

For those of you who do not know about BridgeBuilders it is my consulting and mediating services to help resolve cultural and religions conflicts in public education. The article above was written for public school board members and administrators to help them see beyond the politics of polarization and work for a greater common good. Just last week I received an email from one the faithful readers of this blog alerting me to a new gay endorsement curriculum being forced on a Virginia school district. Unless we work proactively to ensure that public education is fair to all, we will lose our voice in the public forum.

I hope you enjoy the full article. If you think it has merit for your school officials why don’t you consider emailing the link (http://www.bridge-builders.org/RCW11.04.html) to school board members, superintendents and principals in your school district (and even county or state education officials as well). Include a personal note that you found this article to be a helpful resource and hope your school district would take these ideas seriously. You can usually find their email addresses on the school website under ‘board’ or ‘administration.’ Recommendations from constituents in their own district often hold a lot of weight.

Still no grandchild yet! It looked like she was going to be early, but has now decided to take her own sweet time. We’ll love her whenever she gets here.

Last week I received an email from someone who had read Why I Don’t Go To Church Anymore Hopeful that I had just had some bad experiences, he wanted to invite me back into the box. I thought his spirit was marvelous, though I think his vantage point was somewhat limited. I thought you might want to look over my shoulder at how I responded to his concerns. I know many of you have these issues raised all of the time. (My comments are in italics, his in blue.)

Let me say at the outset that I appreciate you taking the time to write me over this article. You obviously have some concern for my spiritual health and perspectives and graciously sought to offer me a different point of view. Few people take that that kind of risk. That said, this might be a difficult conversation to have. It seems to me you see only one method for the church to express its life together and I have experienced many ways that offer far more relational engagement than happens in most institutions today that call themselves ‘church.’ Since I thought your appeal sincere, let me try to respond to the issues you raised:

Wrong assumption. I was a pastor for more than 20 years and I left it not because I had bad experiences, but because I had good ones, lots of good ones, but they never let people experience the fullness of what it means to live in Christ. As a writer, speaker and Contributing Editor at Leadership Journal, for more than 20 years I have been in thousands of services in some of the most revered ‘churches’ in the country and around the world. I didn’t give up on it after too many bad experiences, but because I saw it at its best and it still fell woefully short of what my heart yearned to experience as I read Scripture.

I don’t see Hebrews 10 as a command but as wisdom not to live independent, selfish lives but to walk alongside other believers in mutual encouragement and shared wisdom. I find that more real in relational environments where people are sharing freely what God is doing in them rather than in those places where only a handful do all the talking. How can we encourage each other when we’re mostly looking at the back of each other’s heads? I think we both know lots of people who attend services, but never truly sort out how to walk with others in a way that stirs us to the deepest life in Christ. What’s truly sad about only seeing the ‘congregational’ model for doing this is that there is nothing in Scripture that demonstrates or encourages us to file into a building on Sunday morning for a set of songs and a lesson for the week from the same voice, no matter how gifted he is. The early church gathered in homes and shared freely together from all the gifts of the body as they sought to know Jesus better. Do you know of any New Testament model for doing ‘church’ the way you do it? Jesus didn’t do it. He didn’t teach his disciples to do it. And there is no hint of it in Acts or the Epistles. This is a form that evolved in religious institutions since the 300s AD and the current model is one Calvin adapted for Protestants from the Catholic liturgy. I find that heritage a bit suspect.

I know you didn’t mean it this way, but I no longer think Christianity is a way to act. It is a way to live in him where he transforms us from the deepest part of our being and it expresses itself in us reflecting his compassion and character to others around us. I think that is a work of the Holy Spirit, not listening to gifted teachers alone. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the elders, teachers, prophets and others that God has placed among the body to help us know him better. I have many that I not only listen to but also walk with locally and from around the world. But I’m convinced that teachers who minister the life of Jesus help others be dependent on him, not on themselves.

Jesus grew up in a Jewish culture and went to the synagogue on Sabbath to engage that culture. But Paul was thrown out of the synagogues and the early church didn’t continue to attend it. Though we know the folks in Corinth met on the first day of the week, it is not clear from the text that everyone else did as well. We do know they got together as I do with believers multiple times during a week, but it is not clear that they were trying to follow Jesus’ example at the synagogue.

Who said all preachers are worthless? I’ve never said any such thing. I appreciate those who speak God’s words in environments where people are equipped to live differently. But I do not think they are the center of life in the body. I think Jesus is the only focus of body life and brothers and sisters who learn to share his life together will grow far more deeply and experience greater life together. You also assume that I enjoy staying away from challenging thinking on this life in Christ. That couldn’t be more untrue. I want to hear everything Jesus wants to bring into my life and challenging thoughts are the most transforming. I regularly listen to others growing on this journey, though I don’t get it from those on TV. They rarely speak or even live the truth.

Here’s where you’re caught in your way of thinking. Preaching means so much more than you understand it to be. Just because we call Sunday morning lectures preaching doesn’t mean they are that. We grow in him not by hearing biblical preaching, but by seeking him, listening to him and living in him. Preaching can open the door to that, but it cannot do it alone. Proclaiming the gospel and the realities of this life in Christ happens far better in settings other than

Still no baby yet! My daughter is beginning to feel some contractions this afternoon, however, so it might not be long. Until then, I thought I’d share with you the transformtion going on in a life. Last week I got this email from a brother I met this fall and whose group I got to hang out with for a weekend. Here’s how he summed up what God is doing in his life and then my response follows:

On the home front I am very excited about what has been happening in my home. Ami and I have been inviting over lots of people to our house. Almost all of them are nonbelievers. I believe that God has put them in our path for a reason. As a matter of fact, God is really expanding my horizons because a few of them are gay. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a gay basher but I never would have thought to invite them into my home under the guise of keeping my children free from impurities. What a Pharisee! I now see that if my children do realize that they are gay, I have a wonderful opportunity to show them that we can love the person unconditionally and yet not approve of their choices.

Looking back, I was trying to find other Christians to invite over, but now I feel that I had it all wrong. While I was focusing on other Christians to fellowship with and to make friendships with, I was completely missing the people standing right in front of me. I have found a lot of people that really do appreciate both friendship and an invitation to our house. Even though they are nonbelievers, there is a certain fellowship there. I am not going to look for the first opportunity to pounce on them with some nifty Bible verses, but rather I am just going to be there friend. If God presents an opportunity to share the Truth, then that will be obvious and I will be willing to do so. The last thing I want to do is get in God’s way.

Love your journey, love your heart and love what God is showing you. When you get over that hump of somehow having to earn Father’s affection, you won’t believe the freedom or transformation on the other side. I wish I could just throw you over it, but this is something Father reserves for himself. It happens just like it is happening in you… You see some things, wonder about some other things, keep drawing near, learn to ignore the guilt, follow him, follow him, follow him. And then one day it is different. The old nagging thoughts are gone and a new freedom blossoms. You won’t be able to take credit for it, but simply sit in awe at Father’s working….

If I knew of a way of hurrying that I would give it to you. I guess you can’t rush freedom. He is working at the deepest core of your being to set his life freely there and let it flow out of you. And I love how God is giving you a heart for folks around you! Even unbelievers. Great stuff!

But I do hope you’re enjoying the ride, because it’s going to be tough to get off the coater at this point…

I attended the funeral of dear, dear friend yesterday. He was 57 years old and was suddenly and tragically killed last Thursday when a 19-year-old drove a dump truck through a stop sign and plowed into my friend’s car killing him instantly. I’ve known Steve for over 20 years as a close friend. We even served alongside each other in the Father’s kingdom when I was part of a more traditional congregation. Those who spoke of him yesterday rightly captured his child-like exuberance, his bedrock integrity and his passion for God’s truth.

At such moments I’m always struck by how fragile life is and how empty our pursuits in this world. At the end of it all what always matters most is our relationships with people and how we have encouraged them on this incredible journey of knowing the fullness of Father’s life. Steve lived like that. Even through some of my darkest days, he proved to be a faithful friend who sought the truth more than the comfort of an illusion. We stayed close even though life took us in different directions. Though I will miss him here another treasure of mine has been deposited in eternity where we will reunite one day.

His death also brought together a group of people who were walking with God together ten years ago and who were scattered shortly thereafter by a power-struggle between those purported to be leaders. I talked with many of those people at the graveside earlier in the morning and then as we gathered for a memorial service around noon. It was so good to see how many of those relationships were still intact and that they had survived the lies, the pain and the separation of a decade ago. As we sang songs of praise together I looked around the room and flashbacked to better days when we had shared the courts of the Lord together with love and affection. I was truly blessed to stand again with brothers and sisters I have deeply missed, even though our journeys took us different directions.

It took the death of a common friend to cut through the garbage of our different perceptions of God’s work and celebrate what was real in our relationships together. I had a very blessed day connecting, even if briefly with so many old friends and find that love truly does endure all things.
Perhaps the better we know this Jesus, his death will do the same thing for us and all the other pieces of his incredible family scattered through time and over the whole world.