Wayne Jacobsen

I forget sometimes how much I hate change.

I think I enjoy it, and for most of the spiritual changes in my life I love what God has transformed in me. But from the safety that process has brought, I often forget the pain that produced it. I’ve gotten a great reminder of that this past five days. We have moved 30 miles to the east and are now setting up a different home and different office. Nothing has been easy. Phone connections, plumbing, Internet—all have been a gigantic chore that has ripped more time from my hands than I had to give them. It has been a horribly frustrating process. We want to enjoy our new location, but we’re too warn out finding our way here.

Even though I know we will settle into this place one day and enjoy it even more than our last home, for the moment, we can’t find anything we need when we need it, because everything has a different place her. Everything takes longer to do because we’re always searching for a tool or a piece of something that got separated during the move.

As I sat down today to catch up on some of my email backlog, it was filled with some very desperate pleas for people who feel greatly disoriented as God is bringing change into their lives. Most people don’t like it and I can’t blame them. Change is painful and theological change can be the most painful of all. When we realize the Jesus we’ve heard about all our lives may not be a complete picture of the Jesus of the Bible, it can be horribly disorienting. When we discover that church isn’t what we thought it was, or Christian growth is motivated by his grace and affections not by our fears, the result can be frustration, disorientation even anger.

At times like that it is easy to give into the notion that we’ve gotten sidetracked somehow, or that God has left us on our own, when in fact those frustrations prove the process is ongoing. As they say, old habits die hard. The good news is: they do die. In time, everything will find its place in our new home and it will work better for us than our previous one did. Right now all we have to do is stay in the process until it is completed.

That’s why Jesus told his disciples to “Remain in me.” Don’t go anywhere. Don’t give into your fears that I have abandoned you, or that you are hopelessly lost. Just hang in there right where I put you and everything I need to do in you and everything I need to show you will be done.
Change is painful, but one day when you’re feasting on the fruits of it you, too, will forget the pain in the fruit of those changes.

It has given me a fresh compassion for those in mid-process of coming out of religion to embrace life with the living God.

I have finished Robert Farrar Capon’s Kingdom, Grace and Judgment and there’s a few more quotes I think you’ll enjoy. Here’s one:

As one who has both been cut off at the knees for the sake of the institution and as one who did it to others in more religious days, I agree wholeheartedly. The dying to self and institutions we are so afraid of, is the door into his incredible life.

And on a personal note, don’t expect to hear from me for the next few days. It is finally time to pack up all our junk and take it down the road about 25 miles. We won’t even have Internet service until Monday. So, be well. I’ll talk to you on the back side of this move, if I survive it! And all our numbers will change. The new office address will be: 7228 University Drive, Moorpark, CA 93021. Phone number: (805) 529-1728. Stay well!

In case you think all of my email is filled with great questions and wonderful affirmations, it isn’t so. Take this one I got last week:

Are you surprised he signed his letter as ‘Senior Pastor’ so-an-so? I’m not even sure what article he is referring to, since he didn’t say. I’d assume he means Why I Don’t Go to Church Anymore. But my heart goes out to people like him. I used to be one of them only considered those who were involved in a recognized local assembly to be committed Christians.

Now I know better. Institutional commitment alone is meaningless. Jesus never told his disciples to organize such things, nor people to attend them. The writers of the New Testament talked of the church locally as believers in a given region. They met in homes, related to each other with joy and service, and for over 300 years never began the kind of institutions and traditions that have come to mark Christianity for the last 18 centuries. They loved each other, were devoted to each other even beyond their faults and weaknesses, and shared his life together by the strength of their relationships throughout the week.

I honestly think those who see their church involvement as a congregational meeting have more to explain about New Testament precedents than those who live in the reality of open and honest relationships with lots of other Christians in their area—and not just those who attend one institution. Over the last five years Sara and I have built relationships with a variety of people in this area. Some of them attend a Sunday morning gathering; many of them do not. But what they do have in common is a passionate desire to live deeply with Jesus and to walk alongside other believers in meaningful relationships. What more could we ever want from the church?

I do agree that those who claim the name of Christ are part of the local body of believers. I guess I just mean that differently than my pastor friend does. Some us just grew tired of all the institutional baggage that seemed to hinder rather than help those relationships. We’re not attacking others who see it differently by calling their beliefs foolish or accusing them of great harm. I don’t see the need for them to do so with us.

I love the questions people are asking as they wake up to the reality of living in the life of Jesus. This one came today from Mississippi and in the limited space email offers, I tried to give her a bit of an answer:

Not stupid at all… Religion finds no end to the ways of manipulating people to do good or even to convert. As God wakes us up to his reality we can admit that most of what evangelism has meant is exploiting and manipulating our neighbors and friends, rather than demonstrating to them the reality of who God is by the way we live our lives. I’m blessed God is doing that work in you.

Scripture makes clear that it is the Spirit who convicts the world (John 16) and that it is our task to love them freely (John 13:34-35) and not manipulate them by persuasive words (I Cor 2) nor shameful tactics (2 Cor 4). Rather by living in his reality and openly talking about it as others ask us about our lives we ‘set forth the truth plainly (and in doing so) commend ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. (2 Cor 4:1-4)

As we live in his reality, we’ll have no end of opportunities to give an account for the hope that lies within us. And then we can truly express our love and concern for people and not just manipulate them to respond the way we think they should.

It makes sharing this kingdom a task of exquisite joy, not a heavy obligation.

You would probably have had to grow up in the 60’s and 70’s to get this one, but back then it was big-time preaching to take the names of God from the Old Testament that used the word Jehovah as a prefix. For instance, Jehovah-Jireh, (the God Who Provides) Jehovah-Rapha, (The God Who Heals You ) and Jehovah-Tsidkenu (God Our Righteousness.) Since then translators have used the more accurate Yaweh and have left out the Hebrew suffixes so that sermon doesn’t preach as well today. It actually was an interesting study in the redemptive attributes of God throughout the Old Testament.

But a college student from California has uncovered another one. This one isn’t in the Bible, but she swears its true nonetheless. During my recent trip to New Mexico, her father told me about her engagement with Jehovah Tsnikki. You’ll have to read that out loud to make sense of it—Jehovah Tsnikki, The God Who Sneaks Up On You.

How many times have you followed the Lord’s leading into a situation just certain as to how it would turn and be absolutely shocked when you realized that God had an entirely different outcome in mind? Certainly there is evidence of this reality throughout the Bible. God told Paul he would be going to Rome. At the time, I’m sure Paul had no idea it would be as a prisoner. But then again, the price was right. God sent Peter to Cornelius’ house before he had any idea God was going to allow those pesky Gentiles to get saved! And who can forget Joseph’s dream that he would rule over his brothers, only to find himself kidnapped, sold into slavery and finally unjustly imprisoned? God has some interesting ways to transform our lives with his glory.

I’ve had occasion to see Jehovah-Tsnikki as well, though I never knew there was a name for it. Often I have gotten involved in something thinking I knew exactly what God had in mind, only to find out I was being set up for something entirely different than I could have conceived. Most times it was more painful than I’d ever imagined, but if I had known that in advance, I may not have followed him into it. At other times, I’ve found him sneaking up on me right in the midst of some mess I’ve made, making himself know and accomplishing his purpose anyway.

Jehovah Tsnkiik! What great name for an incredible Father who dazzles us over and over again with the sheer wonder of his character and an unfolding purpose that isn’t even thwarted by our own ignorance or misguided efforts. Would you expect anything less from someone whose ways are far higher than our ways?

I’m sorry it has been so quiet around here. I got back Monday from a weekend in New Mexico and fell right into a host of details that need to be sorted out not only for the people I encourage and the websites I run, but also to make final arrangements for our move next week about 30 miles to the east in Moorpark. So don’t be surprised if this blog is kind of quiet for the next few days.

Last night Brad and I recorded a new edition of The God Journey which has just been posted on our sister website. “Living in the Relationship” is designed to encourage people outside the box to go on and thrive in their personal relationship with God through Jesus. Brad and Wayne also tackle the difficult question, “What do you do when you feel like God is asking you to do something you’re not ready for?” and comment on some recent letters from listeners.

I had a marvelous time in New Mexico, meeting a wide variety of people in a broad diversity of places in this journey. We talked and talked and talked about how it is that we can live in the power and simplicity of the life of Jesus and how we that can be freely shared with other brothers and sisters without the complications and baggage of institutions and programs that offer an illusion fo community without letting us experience its life and depth. I spent a couple of days in Albuquerque and then the weekend up in Capitan. I am continually blessed by the hunger I find in God’s people and the willingness of so many to risk the disapproval of friends and family to pursue the hunger that is on their hearts.

We ate everything from barbeque to Mexican to Cajun, sat under the trees and shared the rich heritage our Father has provided for us in his son. We were even interrupted Saturday night as we talked outside under a 1500 square foot tarp some of them had put up that morning in case it rained. As we were winding up for the evening a powerful thunderstorm cell crossed overhead flooding us with water and blowing down the tarp we were under. It was quite a finish to a marvelous day. We left Sunday evening to head back to Albuquerque so I could catch my 6:00 a.m. flight home. We were treated to a magnificent sunset as we drove west from Capitan back to Albuquerque.

One of our themes from the weekend came from Ezekiel 34. As God prophesies against the bad shepherds for feeding off of his sheep instead of feeding them, he said he would replace those shepherd himself. One of the things I noted in that passage was that he never blamed the sheep for being scattered. He blamed the shepherds who had misused them. Then he promised to gather the sheep to himself. He would be their shepherd and lead them into pastures where we would never need to be afraid again. What an amazing reality! Jesus is the only Senior Pastor you will ever need. Imagine the freedom and joy we could experience if we could grasp that one simple truth.

I am still digesting Robert Farrar Capon’s Kingdom, Grace and Judgment. It is an interesting look at the parables of Jesus from an Episcopal priest and comes to some incredible conclusions that you wouldn’t expect. I’ll warn you it isn’t always easy reading, but the gems throughout are incredible. Here’s another:

Good stuff! I find it fascinating that the needs of institutions and the demands of religion fit together so well. It’s sad really. It so easily takes our passion for Jesus and wears us out in irrelevant activities. I can’t imagine people defending the religion that 21st Century Christianity has become. There is so much more life in simply living alongside other brothers and sisters sharing the life of Jesus.

One of the best things about seeing the new Star Wars movie, Revenge of the Sith is that you get to see the trailer for the new Narnia movie, The Lion, the Witch and The Wardrobe . The classic children’s books by C.S. Lewis are in production to come to the big screen.

I’ve got to admit I’m a big fan of the Narnia books and have read them often. The insights Lewis breathes into God’s nature and his work of redemption is timeless and magnificent. But I was not prepared for the moment in the preview when the Lion ascends the mountaintop roars over his kingdom. I got goose bumps. This depiction of the Lion of Judah, Redeemer of all those marred by sin, caused my heart to leap. I even get goose bumps just writing about it. It literally took my breath away, and there was never a moment in the Star Wars movie that followed that rose to the beauty of that one moment.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy Star Wars. Watching how easily someone can be seduced into darkness by his desire to use power, even for what he might consider good ends, is a timely reminder and a compelling story. Evil doesn’t always lie in the things we want, but in what we’re willing to do to achieve them and who we’re willing to believe in the process. I found the seduction of Anakin Skywalker to be a strong parable about the corrupting nature of power and even our own giftedness.

There was a bit of editorializing of course. At one moment a Jedi comments that the power of the dark side lie in its commitment to absolutes. A bit of a jab at the evangelicals, I should think! And yet, in the story it was the Jedi that were committed to absolutes while those of evil gave in to personal expedience. Interesting… But I think it should give us pause at how our political aspirations are viewed in the world. The attempt to force our absolutes on a culture unwilling to embrace them causes us greater rejection of us and our absolutes than it endears them to listen to us. I’ve always thought that the power of persuasion and example in the reality of truth is far more powerful to God’s ends, than compelling people through force, be it political or military. At least that’s the way I saw Jesus live it.

Now I’ve got to wait until December 9 to see the Lion work his majesty!

I am still digesting Robert Farrar Capon’s Kingdom, Grace and Judgment. It is an interesting look at the parables of Jesus from an Episcopal priest and comes to some incredible conclusions that you wouldn’t expect. I’ll warn you it isn’t always easy reading, but the gems throughout are incredible. Here’s another:

Not long ago I met with a group of people who’ve been sharing life as a house church over the couple of years. They had read a lot of my books and articles, but we had never met. In preparation fo our time together, they sent me a list of the questions they were hoping to cover when I was with them. Here’s what they sent:

• What are the areas of holy living that we cannot ignore as true disciples of Christ? (the standards for living)


• What about headship and accountability in the small group setting? Who is responsible to keep order, make decisions, deal with breaches of conduct?


• What kinds of information is appropriate to share; what kinds of questions can we ask others that will be helpful to the growth of the body, and which will cause division?


• How do we deal with differences in age, education, economic levels, geographic, standards of dress or entertainment, strong opinions on health food, home schooling, etc.


• How can we overcome roadblocks to real relationships? (personality quirks like stoicism vs. epicurean, giftings such as speaking vs. serving, training and backgrounds like Baptist vs. Pentecostal, paradigms and thinking patterns such as models for church vs. Holy Spirit led, etc.)


• How do we grow and develop a deeper love for one another which would cause others to see something special?


• Where do we find fellowship with a larger circle of believers?


• What are some specific things we can do to humble ourselves?


• How can we turn our focus to Jesus instead of ourselves in conversation without sounding pious or super spiritual?


• How is speech that is full of grace characterized?


• What part does prayer have in the unity of the body of Christ? Are there standards defining who we pray with, how often, or of quality that we should be aware of?


• Describe a Spirit-led person. Describe a Spirit-led gathering.


• How do fear of rejection, fear of conflict, etc. interfere with relationships? How can we overcome those?


• Is the house church just another model, if so where do we go from here? Are there those breaking out of the house church model? Why?

I got tired just reading down the list. While there are some good questions here, when I first read them I was struck with how preoccupied they were with the life of ‘the group’ as an entity and not with our life in Jesus, who does have first place in all things with the church. I found myself hoping we’d forget about the list, and find the choicest fellowship at Jesus’ feet.

And that’s exactly what happened. When I arrived to gather with these people, we spent Friday evening sharing our journeys, talking about the amazing work Jesus accomplished for us on the cross and how he is calling people to himself these days. It was an awesome time of fellowship. We even had someone in the room that was a bit resistant to some of what was shared, but that even allowed us to see how to treat folks who don’t see things the same way we do.

Halfway through our time on Saturday, I said to my host, “Do we want to work on some of those questions this afternoon?”

He smiled at me and responded, “Don’t have to. They’re irrelevant.”

I loved it! I didn’t take it to be a slam on the questions, but a refocusing of our life around Jesus. As long as we are focused on the group, we’ll have an endless array of questions to deal with. When our focus is on Jesus, the questions become less important. In his presence and with his leadership he’ll make his way clear in our hearts. Having him, nothing else really matters. We went on to have a great weekend together and come away with hearts more clearly focused on his work in us and how we yield to him each day.

That’s why I’m so convinced that people preoccupied with creating fellowship rarely find it. They only end up with an unreasonable facsimile there of. But those who set their focus on Jesus and his kingdom, will in time find more fellowship than they will know what to do with.