Wayne Jacobsen

I’m finishing up today in Harrisburg, PA, where I’ve spent the weekend with a broad spectrum of folks sorting out what it means to live deeply in the life of Jesus and how to share in that life with other believers and how to share it with people around us who do not know him. It’s been a wonderful time and I’ve really been blessed to be alongside some people I was with before here a couple of years ago, and lots of new ones I’m just getting to know.

On the flight out here I read the current issue of Christianity Today. It has a review of Barna’s Revolution that gives a distorted view of the book and a caustic reaction to it. That’s too bad. Now more than ever we need to be talking as believers about the effectiveness of the institutions we’ve inherited and what might we do about that, rather than dividing into a new faction between those who champion the congregational model and those who are finding life in alternatives.

But there was one quote from this issue of the magazine that caught my eye and has captured my heart over recent days. In an otherwise tedious article about “How the Kingdom Comes†by Michael S. Horton, I found this quote:

Instead of being in the world but not of it,
We easily become of the world but not in it.

He’s speaking about believers who embrace the world’s values closeted behind religious terminology. We’re still looking for power, money, convenience and fulfilling our preferences, but we use religion to do it and end up only gathering in our own ghettos with people we consider like-minded. We end up more like the world, but no longer among it to demonstrate the life of God. Religion does that. It makes us irrelevant in the world and no longer accessible to it. which, as long as we’re caught up in religion, might be a good thing.

But it’s not what he has in mind. Jesus wants to transform us so we are no longer of the world. Instead we are citizens of a more incredible kingdom and live in that reality the same way he did—filled with the Father’s love and demonstrating that to others. Then we won’t be secluded from the world in our Christian activities, but among the world by the way we go about our jobs and lives in our communities—in the world, but no longer of it!

I love that and want that to be increasingly true of how I live in him, and in the world where he has put me.

First, let me share a few housekeeping items. I don’t think I’ve notified this bunch that we posted a new edition of The God Journey podcast last week, entitled Removing the Clutter, which re-visits some issues about learning to listen to God’s voice. Also, today we’re hopefully delivering the Jake Colsen book to the printers, so that’s a relief and first thing tomorrow I fly out for five days in central Pennsylvania… Whew! What a crazy week!

But the real reason I’m writing today is to share with you an email I wrote as part of an exchange I’ve had with a brother longing for fellowship and not finding any with others on this journey. This is how I responded to him:

I certainly understand the feelings you’re going through. Of course I have no idea what he might be doing in your area, but I would encourage you not to look for the church he is building as a thing, or group or activity. It will be people in whom he is working and you’ll be able to encourage that work in others as well as be encouraged in his work in you. Over time enough people might connect that will allow it to be a bit more visible to the human eyes, but that is not essential.

The time of de-toxing and learning to look only to Jesus have been important. It sounds like your friends are still going through some of that. I am convinced we keep sorting out our hurts with the system as long as Jesus hasn’t become a real person to live with each day. Once he becomes real to us, those hurts get healed and we can move on to so many other things he has for us. Perhaps God has ways for you to encourage your friends how to know him better and they won’t feel the need to continue to rummage through the brokenness of the system they were in.

So I would encourage you to look for ways God would give you away to people around you (believer and unbeliever alike) and you will see his church emerge as those relationships grow. One of the dangers of people who wander outside the box is that they can become ingrown and look out only for themselves and their needs and not see that God has put them where they are to be a demonstration of his character to people around them. This is a marvelous process and it really pulls us outside of our needs/wants/desires to truly find the freedom to live as he lived in the world. Ask him how he wants to give you away right where you are, to people you already know, and maybe some ways to connect with others you don’t know yet.

I realize it may not look like there is a lot of concrete direction in what I’ve said, but there really is. Getting outside ourselves and loving others is when we begin to see church grow around us. And to that end you have my prayers.

What a crazy two weeks! We’re trying to get So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore off to the presses for the printed version of Jake’s book. The response to this book has been incredible and I know many of you have waited to see it in print, knowing you can read through the entire story. That is about to be come a reality, though we’ve still got some proofing to do and some corrections to make. It is a ton of work and has overshadowed everything the last few weeks.

I did meet a man for lunch Wednesday from Oregon who was doing business down here in Southern California. On the way down he had been reading He Loves Me on the plane when he said he had a pretty weird moment. Sitting there with a book in his lap that said He Loves Me on it and a daisy on the cover, he began to wonder if other folks around him might have thought he was reading a gay self-help book! And since he was traveling with another man from his office…, well, you know! He said he thought people would think of that before they would think of it being a book he was reading on marriage to be more sensitive to his wife’s point of view.

So he found himself reading the book while trying to keep his hand over the title so no one would have any of those thoughts. Wow! I’ve never heard that before and never thought of that myself. We had a great laugh over it. I told him I never did like that title and when we run out of those books in my garage, we’re going to republish. I like Living in the Father’s Affection. He liked Shattering the Favor Line. Hmmmm… I could like that too. Well, we’ve got time to decide. I still have a few thousand in my garage.

But it’s interesting the kinds of thoughts that can go through our heads when we’re worried about what others might be thinking about us. It’s certainly easier just not to care about that. As the popular saying goes, we wouldn’t waste so much time worried about what others are thinking of us if we realized how little they did.

Sorry there hasn’t been much action on the blog here. Too busy these days. I will get back to it, however, when things settle down.

Our latest edition of The God Journey entitled The Angst Between Innies and Outies has just been posted on our sister website thegodjourney.com.

Christianity Today’s current review of George Barna’s book, Revolution, highlights the misunderstanding and increasing polarization between those who see the church only as a traditional congregation and those looking for more relational expressions of body life. Wayne and Brad wade into the conflict between those who are in and those who are out to invite us all to lower the temper of the debate and open the doors of communication and compassion between fellow-believers however he calls us to walk out our life in him. It is easy to understand why those who embrace more traditional forms would feel threatened by those leaving it, and why those leaving might feel the need to condemn what failed them so. But is this really serving Father’s purpose in the world?

A dear sister from New Zealand wrote me the other day about something God is doing in her life. She was responding to something I wrote in an earlier blog: “Your work is to simply follow him there. When you do he will place you among the body just as he desires and you will know the joy of sharing a growing dependency on him with other members of his body.†She wrote to tell me how Jesus was doing this in her life.

I am beginning to experience what you talked about here. First there is Ingrid. She is employed to help me at the swimming pool. She has a police record but she had the chance of a job because I signed a disclaimer. She comes from a Mormon background and has done some foolish things in her life. Father told me to offer to pray for her. She accepted. I see her twice a week and just share with her as Father leads. I have given her your book, He Loves Me and I just keep telling her he does. That idea has revolutionised my approach. I used to start with the fact we were sinners.

Next there is Alannah who I used to know at the Sunday meetings. She was a bit disillusioned with the Sunday services and has since left. I just kept bumping into her ‘accidentally’ but now we often arrange to meet.

Yesterday I met Maureen at the pool. Another I used to know at the Sunday meetings 20 years ago. She has left the Pentecostals and is attending the seventh day. She is not the first I know, who being disillusioned with the Pentecostals, has gone to legalistic (non spirit led?) groups. We had a good talk and she said, “I can see Jesus in you.†What more could I ask? I gave her the Lifestream website.

Life has become so exciting!

I love this. It is amazing what God can do when we’re just free to give our lives away to the people he’s already put right in front of us, instead of trying to find or organize people into some kind of group experience that we want. Relationships are about people not groups; groups happen because enough people have found relationships with each other and desire to share those relationships with others. I love the simplicity and power of this process and how it encourages us to keep our eyes open for people we can love and serve.

Emails like this really touch my heart… Obviously this man is feeling quite desperate, but I love the reality with which he is sorting out the empty place religion leaves in the human heart, even for those who think they lead it. Here is his cry and my response:

Well, how can I say this? I am 51 years old, been involved in ministry all my life, thought I loved the Father and knew Him but over the past 3 years I have become painfully aware that I have never had any significant relationship with the Father or other people. The struggle is intense. I feel as if I have thrown my life away.

I want to know and love the Lord. The hunger consumes my every thought and is my only desire. He seems so far away and disinterested. I need to find the Father and His love. This burden of doubt and distrust is eating me alive.

Please, if you find time, pray for me and my wife and my children.

My response: As painful as this may be right now, Father is undoubtedly opening your eyes to some incredible things. Yes, I know how painful it can be and how wasted our previous years might seem. But I think you’ll find that even though we may have been less aware of his presence in us, his work was still going on. No doubt, with a heart like yours, you’ve had a profound touch on people in the past about which you might be completely unaware.

But I want to encourage you to keep leaning into him and let him grow this relationship with you because there is nothing better. Though he may seem so far away and disinterested, that is not his nature. It often seems that way when we are focused on our own efforts to know him, rather than his power to draw us to him. I know that is easier to write than live, but God does not begin what he does not complete.

You have my prayers, and I’d be happy to help however I can. If you want to read my own personal journey through a similar time you might want to read my book, He Loves Me. It is available on my website as a free download in PDF version… That might help some, but ultimately this is something God is sorting out in you. This will be a wonderful season in your life, though you will know that far better by hindsight than you can possibly appreciate today.

Just ask him to make himself known to you however he desires. Don’t think of all you ‘should do’ to make this happen. Just keep a surrendered heart before him and do whatever he puts in your heart to do…

Our latest edition of The God Journey entitled Learning to Listen has just been posted on our sister website thegodjourney.com.

The idea that God speaks to normal people in the course of their daily lives is still a controversial concept among Christians. Wayne and Brad often refer to God’s leading as a significant factor in their relationship with God and their journey. In this podcast they discuss how a daily, ongoing conversation with God is a normal part of the relationship he desires with his people. They share what that looks like in their own lives, how it integrates with their use of the Scriptures and how we can encourage others in this incredible process of learning to recognize his voice and have the courage to follow through with the things he makes clear to us.

I have just finished reading Nelson Mandela’s autobiography, Long Walk To Freedom. What a great read! I met so many people, black and white, in South Africa this summer that spoke of Mandela with deep admiration and respect for how he helped liberate South Africa from racial oppression. He spent 27 years away from home and family as a political prisoner, and came out of that incarceration with the language of reconciliation not vengeance. I wanted to read his story and see what made him tick.

It is a marvelous story of someone’s passion for freedom and the price he was willing to pay to help his entire nation get there. Many times he could have chosen a simpler course for himself that would have just made the best of the status quo, and instead he continued to risk his own personal well-being for a larger freedom. How could he do it? Perhaps this quote from the last few pages of his book give you some clue:

It was the desire for the freedom of my people to live their lives with dignity and self-respect that animated my life, that transformed a frightened young man into a bold one, that drove a law-abiding attorney to become a criminal, that turned a family-loving husband into a man without a home, that forced a life-loving man to live like a monk. I am no more virtuous or self-sacrificing than the next man, but I found that I could not enjoy the poor and limited freedoms I was allowed when I knew my people were not free. Freedom is indivisible; the chains on any one of my people were chains on all of them, the chains on all of my people were the chains on me.

It was during those long and lonely years that my hunger for the freedom of my own people became a hunger for the freedom of all people, white and black. I knew as well as I knew anything that the oppressor must be liberated just as surely as the oppressed. A man who takes away another man’s freedom is a prisoner of hatred, he is locked behind the bars of prejudice and narrow-mindedness. I am not truly free if I am taking away someone else’s freedom, just as surely as I am not free when my freedom is taken from me. The oppressed and he oppressor alike are robbed of their humanity.

When I walked out of prison, that was my mission, to liberate the oppressed and the oppressor both. Some say that has now been achieved. But I know that is not the case. The truth is that we are not yet free; we have merely achieved the freedom to be free, the right not to be oppressed. We have not taken the final step of our journey, but the first step on a longer and even more difficult road. For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others. The true test of our devotion to freedom is just beginning.

I have walked the long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.

I realize Mandela’s view of freedom is somewhat different from my own and I realize the price he paid has been far greater than I have ever been asked to pay. But I also find that we have a similar heartbeat. On my journey I have continued to hear the whisper of the Spirit, “Set my people free.” That has carried me through so many seasons, and as I stand at the bring of 2006, I second Mandela’s words, “my walk is not yet ended…”

I have enjoyed slowing down over the last few days, enjoying my family and some quieter moments on my own. I’ve enjoyed some reading and some long walks with Sara and the dogs and some of our other family in the woods near my parents’ home and in our neighborhood.

Sheba is our newest dog. She’s a lop-eared Shepherd/Lab cross with an exuberant spirit—sometimes too exuberant. Even though she has severe dysplasia in her hips and has pain from time to time she is the happiest dog we have ever owned. She’s not real bright, but she is always smiling, always ready to do something fun and a joy to be around. Well, most of the time.

The thing I hate most to do with this dog is take her for a walk. We’re trying to teach her not to pull on the lead, but simply walk along with us. Even though we’ve got one of those 16-foot retractable leashes, she constantly strains to get beyond it. It’s as if she can’t wait to get to the next place. But when she gets there she is already trying to get to the next one. It’s nuts, really. She can’t enjoy any place she is at the moment, because she’s always trying to get somewhere else. And if she spots another dog, it’s all over. She won’t listen to reason at all until the dog is out of sight.

As I grew impatient with her last night on a long walk with Sara, calling Sheba back again and again and again from pulling on the lead, I realized she is more like me than I care to admit. Only in the last few years have I begun to learn to live contentedly in Father’s work in my life. Most of my spiritual life I have strained against Jesus’ presence in my life. I have always tried to push him on to something else instead of staying in the moment with him, knowing that he is taking me on in his time, not mine.

It made me think how much more fun it would be to walk with Sheba if she stayed alongside me. Her constant straining against the lead and pulling at my arm gets tiresome and frustrating. I wonder if that’s been true for Jesus in my walk with him. I sense somehow that though he is patient with our impatience, he is indeed blessed when we learn to trust him enough not to pull him where we want to go, but to find contentedness by just being with him wherever he wants to take us.

And I wonder if that’s what David was thinking when he wrote: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.†Psalm 32:8-9

Contentedness is a great gift in this kingdom. It isn’t the same as complacency. It is going on with him, but allowing him to set that agenda, not trying to control it ourselves. I would love to come to the place where he needs no leash with me because I’m never further than a few feet from

Merry Christmas to all of you! What a week this has been, and I’m looking forward now to a few days with my family and extended family as we celebrate the Christmas Holiday and the coming New Year. I won’t be in the office much this season, so if you write, be patient for a response. I hope your holidays will be rewarding and relaxing for you as well. I’m going to leave you with some Christmas presents before I go:

Our latest edition of The God Journey entitled The Christmas Podcast has just been posted on our sister website thegodjourney.com.

Christmas has made quite a splash in the media this year—from holiday greetings in stores, to whether or not to have congregational services on Christmas morning. These media-concocted controversies give Brad and Wayne a chance to ruminate about all the hoopla surrounding Christmas and to consider how we as believers can truly make an impact in the world—not just on a holiday, but by letting Christ make himself known continually through us.

And for you who have been following Jake Colsen’s story, we have completed the rough draft. I just posted the last chapter and what a bittersweet moment it was! I will miss working on this book more than anything I’ve ever written. My life has literally been shaped in the last four years as I worked on this book with a good friend of mine. It seems we had to live each chapter before writing them and a book that was supposed to be completed in a year, took us almost four to complete.

But I have been so blessed by the email I’ve received from people who are now being affirmed and shaped by the content of this book. We are working on a final rewrite now and preparing it for publication early in 2006. Many people have already requested copies and we’ll get it out just as soon as we can.

Living this journey is truly a joy of all joys. Sharing that journey with so many of you over this past year in email exchanges or personal encounters is an unspeakable joy. My prayer for us all is that Jesus will keep drawing us ever closer to the heart of his Father and teach us to live simply and freely as his kids in the world. Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to you all!