Wayne Jacobsen

Hi All! What a crazy weekend this has been…

It began with a 42 hour trip from my home in Moorpark to the folks I was going to hang out with over the weekend in Springfield, Missouri. In that amount of time I could have flown to Australia and back and to Australia again. But an ice and snow storm swept through Missouri and surrounding states as I arrived in Denver on my flight to St. Louis. I spent all day Thursday at the airport seeing if any flights were going to get in to St. Louis. None did that night.

Fortunately I remembered that a family had called me what I thought was a few months ago, saying they’d love to meet me, that they lived 10 minutes from Denver airport, and I could have a bed there any time if I got stranded in Denver. So I called them. It turns out that they had offered that a couple of years before, but they still remembered who I was and invited me over for the evening. They picked me up at the airport and returned me there the next morning. We had a great time sharing our lives together and discovering yet more splendor in this incredible family that is the church.

On Friday my 8:30 flight for St Louis didn’t get airborne until noon. I arrived at 2:o0 to a mess. They didn’t have people to get the baggage or help park the plane. What a mess. Fortunately my bag was already there from an earlier flight so I grabbed it and went out to meet my ride to Springfield. It’s normally about a three-hour drive and I was trying to get there for a 7:00 meeting.

If you have never seen the effects of an ice storm, you have truly missed one of the wonders of the world. It does make a mess for travel, but the beauty of ice-encased trees make it look like crystal forests, especially with the sun shinning through the backside of the trees. At one point in our travels the sun at its final moment of setting shot some orange rays through the trees we were driving near in the approaching twilight. The trees lit up like they had been decorated with orange lights at the tip of every branch. I had never seen anything like it. We just marveled at it for the 45 seconds or so that those circumstances converged. Truely, truely awesome!

Unfortunately I-44 to Springfield was a parking lot, due to the ice and snow conditions and a multiplicity of accidents. At 8:00 at night we got trapped behind an accident that closed the freeway for nearly 2 hours. Of course we didn’t know why it was closed, but we sat in our car in sub zero temperatures with an ever-lowering fuel gauge, thinking we might be spending the night on the freeway. It was hilarious discussing the possibilities. But the traffic finally got moving and we arrived in Springfield at 12:15 on Saturday morning, 42 hours after I left my home in Moorpark.

But the folks were gracious and we had a great time through the weeknd. If you want to read someone else’s take on our time togther and see pictures, you can check out a series of entries on Rob’s blog, one of my hosts for the weekend… Sunday afternoon we headed back north to St. Lous where we met with the group i was supposed to have met with on Thursday night when I was stranded in Denver.

I also got a call from Sara yesterday about the wildfires in my hometown of Moorpark, CA. I also got a number of emails from people check on us to see if we were in danger from the fire. There are three fires burning in and around Moorpark fanned by 75 mile per hour winds. Our home doesn’t seem to be in any immediate danger. The fires are all west of us at this point and the wind is blowing to the west. One fire, however, is less than half a mile from our home, but it is also west of us and not likely to move our direction. But it is a bit unnerving for Sara being home alone. I fly home tomorrow to see what’s going on. But as of now all is well, though Sara has gathered up our irreplaceable things and put them in her car, just in case…

One last thing. I had some kind of computer glitch here that erased all my inbound email from Sunday. So if you wrote me yesterday, I did read your emails, but I no longer have them and cannot respond. I am so sorry. If you will resend your email, I will get back to you…

Tomorrow I’m off to Illinois and Missouri for the weekend, meeting with some old friends, and connecting with some people I’ve only corresponded with on the Internet. It should be lots of fun, though the weather tomorrow doesn’t look like the best as I’m trying to get into St. Louis.

So before I go, I want to leave you with two things. The first is a special offer we’re running through the month of December at Lifestream. With the order of any two books or CD collections we will give you a FREE copy of Tales of the Vine. All you have to do is ask for it when you order. Please do NOT use the shopping cart button for that book, simply request it in the comment section of your PayPal or credit card order, or mention it in your email order to us.

And then I wanted to leave you with a quote. It is from an unpublished manuscript that a friend asked me to look over for him. The book hasn’t been published yet, and I’m not sure if or when it will. It’s called “Where the Rocks Are†by Fred Wechsel. I’m also not sure it is a book that most of you would want to read since it is written by a pastor to a more liturgical audience, but this paragraph is profound:

“Sister, Brother, you the Body of Christ, be of good courage: the church is alive and well and much of the time hidden. Let this be a clue, that the world does not, cannot, will not see it. It is to be sought. It is to be found. Do not be surprised at the distance away from Christ that others would lead you, fool you, use you, or destroy you. This God-business is for keeps. The Lord is faithful. Keep your sense alert to catch the sound, the sight, and the warmth of spiritual fellowship. Be sad for what we all encounter, yet rejoice that you are able to see it for what it is.“

Be encouraged! God’s work is unfolding in the earth. It may not be where we’ve been trained to see it, but it is nonetheless real and growing every day…

Recently I got email from Mary in Chicago about a conversation she had with a friend of hers. I loved the illustrations she provided. I know this can appear a bit condescending if it seems to exalt personal experience over community, but that’s not the context she’s writing in at all. She’s talking about a specific congregation they frequent that is missing a deeper reality of God breathing his life in us. Here’s what she wrote:

I (recently) had a discussion with a friend of mine about his frustration with our church home. I tried to encourage him not to get frustrated because he is desiring a “calculus” experience (that he is actually having during the week with God) and our church is singing the “2 + 2 = 4 song”. He got a chuckle out of that. I also told him to not be disappointed because he isn’t getting fed.

God has planted a new seed in his heart and the church we go to, which is a really nice place, is only used to “feeding and growing corn”…they have corn fertilizer, corn harvesting tools, and they know all about corn…but the seed that God planted in him is a unique hybrid that doesn’t have any resemblance to corn…so they don’t know how to cultivate, feed or tend it. And it is so strange a “plant”, that they are a little afraid of it, because it is so “different”.

I’ve often thought that many congregations treat people like they are in spiritual kindergarten. They tell you when to stand up, what emotions you ‘should’ be having at any moment, and what to ‘say to your neighbor’ during a moments of greeting. Hey, if you need kindergarten, that’s great. You can’t get to calculus if you don’t know 2+2=4. But if you’re still singing that song even 5 years later, it will grow extremely boring and ritualistic.

Now, certainly not all congregations are like this, but I’ve often compared sitting in a service on Sunday to watching golf on TV. It is far more exciting to go out and actually play golf. Yes, you can learn some things from watching it, but this is LIFE in Jesus we’re talking about. It is meant to be no less real Tuesday afternoon than it is on Sunday morning. Sometimes, as our friend is finding out above it can be more real. This is about following him, every moment of every day and growing to participate in his work in the world.

I’d rather live it than sit around and talk about it any day.

Here’s another look over my shoulder. What a way to wake up to this new day! I go this email today from some dear friends I met in New Zealand during my stay there. I love what God has been doing in them and don’t mind being called ‘Jim’ at all if it puts the focus where it belongs—on Jesus himself! And I love her story of the lamb and freedom, and sensing by the Spirit that it was first for her before it was for otherrs. I love the way God sets people free in him. He’s amazing!

I just wanted to say how much we have first of all, enjoyed your book So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. I have lost count of how many I have ordered from your office. A friend lent it to us and we have found it fantastically freeing. I have given it away to numerous people who are all plodding along on this journey, and I would say that every one of them have also found it so freeing. Some of them, who have read it, have already been living in real freedom; others, like me, feel like it was a door into more freedom in Jesus. And then I ordered your 8 CDs on Relational Living and the Cross, and I personally would say, that the book is just the appetiser to the CDs. I saved them all to my computer, and have copied them numerous times onto CD for others to enjoy. Knowing that I have a Dad in heaven who loves me more than I can ever know—is that wow or what? I wake up most mornings asking the Lord to show me how much He loves me, and I ask Him to help me live loved. I realise that I haven’t had a clear concept of “Daddy” where I can sit on His lap and be just loved by Him. When I was young I remember envying another kid who was sitting on his dad’s lap, and wishing that my dad would do that to me, but he wouldn’t. So I’ve asked Him to heal that in me, and for Him to be my daddy, and I know He’s doing that in me.

Now we also have to confess Wayne, that we have renamed you ‘Jim!’. I gave the CDs to some very close friends of ours, and we have all listened to them so much, and are getting such a new revelation of the cross, and living in Him, and we often start saying, “What about when Wayne said this, or Wayne said that.” And we know it’s not about you! And I know that you know that too! So we came up with laughingly calling you Jim for a while. I hope you don’t mind!

As you know, we are on a sheep farm. We have just finished our lambing season, which is our busiest time of all on the farm. My job during this is to “mother-on the sheep.” This involves taking an orphaned lamb (either her mother has died, or the mother has twins or triplets and doesn’t have enough milk to feed all her lambs), and putting her with another mother and getting that mother to adopt the orphan lamb as if it were her own. Often the mother will accept her new lamb within 2 or 3 days, but sometimes I get a very “stroppy” ewe, and I could take up to a week working with her, for the mother to accept the lamb.

One of the ways that we get the mother to adopt her lamb, is by tying one of the front hoofs of the mother to a fence, and also tying the lamb up to the fence as well. The rope is about a metre in length, and the mother sheep can move along the fence about 4 feet, before she is stopped by another fence post. She can then eat the grass in this area that she is tied to. And hopefully the lamb is able to tuck under the mum and have a feed. Every morning and evening, I will go and make sure the lamb has a good feed of milk from the mother, and then after she has fed, I will move the mother and lamb on to the next block on the fence, so that she is continually getting new grass to eat, which keeps her milk supply up.

Anyhow, I had a particularly “stroppy” mother who DID NOT want to adopt her new lamb. As I would walk up to her, the mother would jump up and down, racing up and down her little patch of fence, and I would hold her tight so that the lamb could get a feed. I was beginning to wonder if she would ever accept the lamb, and then one morning, when I came to her, I found the lamb full, and the mother was bleating her (which is a very good sign of accepting the lamb as her own.) They were finally ready to let go! The ewe was sitting down, so I quietly untied her, and the lamb, and walked away so as not to disturb them. As I watched from a distance, I realised that the ewe did not know she was free, so I walked back to her to give her a gentle nudge. She leapt to her feet, and ran to the end of her fence post, and stopped sharp. She still thought she had the rope on her hoof! As I walked away, I thought, “She’s free and she doesn’t even know it.” And I also realised that although she didn’t know that she was free then, by the time I came back in the evening, she would’ve discovered her freedom, and nobody would’ve told her, she would’ve found it by herself.

And then I thought smugly (yes smugly!) to myself – “Well, that would make a good object lesson to share with others!”, and almost immediately came the thought, “so how does this apply to you?”, and I felt the Lord say to me, “You’re free, and you don’t even know it.” Well I blinked back a few tears at that, for it was the truth. And now I have to say, my Dad is now showing me what it is to begin to be free. And it’s awesome! And it’s incredibly relaxing, as I begin to learn to live in Him. Do I think I hear Him much? No, I don’t reckon I do very much. But that’s okay too. I’m free in that, realising that I’m puddling along, day by day. It’s really cool.

Anyhow, time is ticking by here. I have just had my 16 yr old son come in. He has really enjoyed your Jake book, and also listening to the CDs and he said to say, “Please feel free to come stay!†Seriously, if you ever feel to come back to NZ, we in Fairlie would be keen to catch you up. Our other son who’s just got engaged and is in Christchurch, would also want to hang out with you.

And I’d love to hang out with all of you again someday, should Jesus have it in his heart for me to return to New Zealand someday!

I guess this is get-out-in-the-community week. Yesterday I traveled to Pasadena to record a podcast and meet with the folks at The Plain Truth, the former publishing arm of the Worldwide Church of God. They are on an interesting journey of thinking outside the box and they wanted to do an interview with me as well as talk about some other things. (Sorry, the interview won’t air until April some time. These folks really plan ahead!)

Today I’m off to a one-day conference with Brian McLaren of the movement known as emergent, and you all know how I feel about movements. Nonetheless I like hearing from the horse’s mouth, so I’ll be hanging out with those folks today. I’m sure I’ll have more to report on it when I have some time.

Recently I finally got to see a copy of Religiously Transmitted Diseases by Ed Gungor at a home I stayed in New York. I had heard about this title years ago and though it was one of the best book titles I’d ever heard of. I wish I’d thought of it. Anyway, I didn’t get a chance to read through the book, so I’m really to recommending it at this point, but I did thumb through the chapter on the Prodigal son, entitled “Elder brother Disease: Who’s Your Daddy.â€

Many of you know that’s one of my favorite parables and I am deeply moved by the contrast between the Father’s joy at his brother’s return and the rage it provokes in the older brother. He, too, is hiding from his Father, isn’t he? But this one looks better because he’s hiding on the farm instead of in a pig pen in some far off country. Obviously religion makes as good a hiding place as rebelling in sin.

Here’s what Gungor says about the ‘older brothers and sisters’ among us…

There are millions of failed believers still in the pigpen because the elder brothers have positioned themselves at the doorposts of the church. These self-righteous boys and girls are keeping prodigals away. The protective, performance-based view of the elder brother is a spiritual disease and it is the biggest cause of the ‘de-churched of America—those who love God but hate church.

Let me leave you with a scary thought: the elder brother still runs most religious organizations and institutions. Perhaps that is why the most organized churches are losing their voice in our culture.

O.K, his use of ‘church’ and ‘de-churched’ really misses the point, but I wholeheartedly agree with his premise that most of our religious institutions are run by ‘older brother’ types who don’t know Father well enough to extend grace to those finding their way home from all the places they have wandered. When conformity is the goal, grace gets trampled underfoot, and we find ourselves warring with Father in the moments of his greatest joy.

I wrote this column for our local paper on the recent exposure of one of America’s religious leaders and wanted to include it here as well… Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could ask the larger questions inherent in this crisis rather than grabbing the duct tape and sealing up the illusion once again?

Last week, Rev. Ted Haggard, one of America’s leading pastors was suddenly pushed out of the closet by a prostitute whose services he had retained in Denver over a three-year period. Accused of sexual liaisons and drug use, Haggard initially denied even knowing the man but by the weekend he had confessed to immorality and deceit, and was dismissed from his church.

But the implications of his exposure go far beyond one congregation. Until last week he was also an outspoken advocate for traditional values and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, which represents the political interests of 30 million conservative Christians. This was one of theirs, whose influence extended into the Oval Office. Yet no one saw that that his words and his life were grossly out of synch.

For those of us who seek to live to the teachings of Jesus, last week’s news had to be tragic. Or was it? Certainly these events are incredibly painful for his family, and others he deceived, but I don’t know if it is ever wise to call the truth tragic.

For one, Haggard himself now gets to live in the light. He no longer has to hide in the dark and deceive those closest to him. Now off the pedestal, he has the opportunity to find out what he really believes and how he wants to live. I pray God’s grace upon him and his family in the process.

The larger question is how our Christian institutions will respond. The illusion that they accurately represent the life of Jesus has been ripped open again. Now what? Will they shove Haggard under the bus as an embarrassing aberration, or will they take a hard look at themselves? Don’t bet on the latter. Damage control will dictate that they remove him quickly, replace him with those who hopefully have no secrets and go on before people ask too many questions.

Well, I think some questions need asking:

• How is that that Christianity perpetuates institutions that cannot distinguish between those who have been transformed by a meaningful relationship with the Living God and those who can amass a following by their charismatic personalities or political acumen?
• Is the system part of the problem? In a national survey Fuller Theological Seminary found that over 50% of pastors claimed some form of ‘addiction’ to pornography. Are these just hypocrites who found their way into leadership or do the demands, frustration and loneliness of clergy life promote addictive behaviors in some?
• Why is it we can only recognize sin only when it is sexual and are blind to it when expressed in arrogance or greed for money or political power?
• Will we remind ourselves that Jesus’ gospel was not primarily for the wealthy and wise, but those society considers outcasts, and be more humble as a result. Certainly Haggard is not alone in his struggle and we might want to ask whether our congregations are grace-filled places of healing or performance-based social clubs.
• Is there an inherent contradiction between demonstrating the life of Jesus and amassing political power?

Whether or not evangelicalism will risk asking these questions, I know many people who are. Many are burned out on the misplaced focus of many traditional congregations, but remain passionate followers of Jesus.

Let’s not be afraid to ask the tough questions at times like this. We might find better answers and better ways to live out our faith.

I guess this is a milestone. This is the first YouTube link I’ve ever put on my blog. But you will be deeply touched by this. An outreach team from New Jerusalem Mission (see below) just returned from a trip to Central Africa and here is a video that some on that team put together. It is not like any other video you’ve ever seen about this crisis and how you can help. Listen carefully to the words. You will hear amazing words of life, such as,

Sometimes in an effort to remind people of the cost of the cross, we withhold grace until we are sure they understand their sin. But it is in giving of our grace that we remind people that they need to go to Jesus to find their own. People understand their sin without our help. It’s grace they need help in understanding.

I’ve not heard it put any better. Just hearing it gave me chills. This is how we are called to live in the world in the face of all kinds of human need and suffering.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog you know of my link to the AIDs mission based near Wichita Kansas, New Jerusalem Missions. They are not only preparing a live-in facility for those living with AIDs, but teams from there are doing training and mercy missions around the world including Africa and China. If this is your passion, join them. If you can’t join them and have some extra dollars around, send it to them! They operate on the shortest shoestring I’ve ever seen. They are frugal, responsible and giving themselves wholeheartedly to the task God has given them to do.

And whether you can join them or not, share with them financially or not, let’s all live this way in the world.

People understand their sin. Let’s help them understand grace!

Yeah, Baby!

We have finally completed the audio version of So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore by Jake Colsen. Wayne reads the book onto CD for those who’d prefer to listen than read.

This five-disc audio set and is available for $20.00, plus $2.50 shipping in the US, $9.00 overseas and can be ordered through our Audio Page

Interest in this book has far exceeded anything we ever considered and the mail it has brought from people who have found greater freedom to follow what Father has already put in their heart, has been a great joy. We hope the audio version will help bring its message to an ever-expanding audience.

Right now volunteers are translating this work into Russian, French, German, Afrikans, and Spanish. This has come from a groundswell of volunteers, not anything I’ve done to solicit people to do that. Somehow its message is resonating at a deep level with people from diverse cultures, and I sit here amazed at what God is doing with this little book that many told us would never work. Hmmm… Glad we did it anyway.

And back home we’re going to have to reprint it already. We thought we published a two-year supply, but it won’t even last to the end of this year.
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For those who think we who see Jesus moving in incredible ways beyond the traditional congregational model must have had a ‘really bad church experience’, read this. I got this email last week from someone who is struggling with the system in the midst of great success within it. I disguised a few of the details so as not to give him away. Except for the pay, this is how I felt even when I was trying hard to make that model work—

My life is full and wonderful. I have everything I have ever wanted. I have the job that I have always wanted. I am an associate pastor in a Midwest mega-church. I oversee all education, small groups, women’s and men’s ministry, and new member involvement. This particular church is ranked among the 50 most influential churches in America by the recent rating gurus. In my particular denomination I have reached the pinnacle for my calling (since I don’t want to be a Sr. pastor). I make more money than I ever thought possible in ministry and I’m not yet 35 years old.

To professional ministers or clergy in the institutional church, I have it all…seemingly unlimited resources, prestige, state of the art facilities, big numbers, etc. There is only one problem: I don’t see church the way I used to see church. God has shown me that we have the “church” that we built and not necessarily the church Jesus builds (not that there isn’t a little overlap if you know what I mean).

I am having huge issues of conscience and I need to talk to someone. I have tried to broach the subject with others only to be told that I am crazy for even thinking these things.

I spoke with this brother last week and appreciate fully the dilemma he is in. He loves what he does and enjoys the financial security, but in seeing what the system does to people he is now caught between the lives he can touch there and what else God might ask him to do. My heart goes out to him, but am confident that God will make the way clear.

I love it when people start to respect their conscience even beyond their perception of self-interest. The system of religious obligation doesn’t just chew up those it exploits or abuses; it chews up most those who find themselves successful in it.

When this kind of revelation comes, I encourage people to embrace it, not to retreat to the comfort of their own self-interest. Even if you don’t know what to do yet, holding the tension of a conflicted conscience in the presence of Jesus will allow him to keep transforming you. Embrace the unsettledness instead of pushing it away in fear and you will come to know whether Jesus wants you to remain, still loving those who are there, or whether he has a freer path ahead for you.

I don’t know how you fared last night. I was exhasted from a recent trip and not real excited about having our doorbell ring all night with trick or treaters from the neighborhood. But we put our game faces on and passed out candy anyway as we greeted the scads of kids that came to our door.

Then this morning, Christopher from the Portland, Oregon area, sent me a wonderful story of his Haloween. He’s a listener of The God Journey podcasts, and wanted to share how God was helping him think outside his boxes. I know this isn’t everyone’s answer for the day, but I sure see Jesus’ voice and grace evident as this story unfolds. It renewed my heart in the ways he works as we simply respond to the nudges on our heart…

Since it was your book (the Jake story) that has helped my wife and I to embrace the liberating truth that God speaks to us individually rather than just within the framework of the system, I wanted to share this amazing story with you about our experience last night. I’ll call it reverse trick or treating.

Historically, we’ve always felt that as Christians, we shouldn’t participate in Halloween in any way. Most people in our former fellowship were adamantly opposed to it. In the past, we usually would either go to a church alternative (where our kids would receive candy and have fun), orturn off all our lights and retreat to some room in the back of the house for a quiet evening.

Last night however, I felt really convicted when I came home from work, shut my garage door and turned out the lights while there were kids trick or treating just one house away. I felt like I was turning my back on them.

As I sat there for a moment, I asked the Lord “What do you want me to do?” And I felt like he was saying to me “Did I ever ask you to completely avoid others on this night?”.

So I went and told my wife that I’d rather not be hostages in our own house and that we should go ahead and turn on the porch lights and let them come. Her first response was that we didn’t have anything to hand out. When I mentioned that our own kids have an abundance of candy in their own stock from previous birthdays and holidays, we both quickly discounted it as a bad idea to take that from our kids and give it to others’. However, my five year old (who was busy peeking out the window at all the other kids), overheard me and became excited at the idea of giving other kids his candy. Although we were shocked (he treasures his candy), we decided to let him hand it out.

As kids came to our door (some of them teenagers with deeper voices than mine), they were greeted by my two kids (ages 2 and 5) eagerly serving them “treats” and having fun doing it. Some of the kids had puzzled looks on their faces and some of them were clearly touched by it (I could tell by the adoring “oohs”).

There was a concern about whether we had enough or not, but I told my son that if God wants us to give out candy, He’ll provide enough. Not only did we have enough before the night was over, but our neighbor across the street came over with her bowl of candy to give some to our kids. I thought it was an awesome lesson to them of God’s provision in a language they could understand (candy)!

I’ve never seen him so excited to serve others and give away his own things before. It was a great opportunity to talk about kindness as a fruit of the Spirit and the joy of giving that God puts in our heart. I probably didn’t even need to explain it*he was experiencing it!

The lesson for me was that God is big enough to reveal Himself even on a day that doesn’t bring glory to His name. It’s amazing how much easier it is to hear His still small voice when there’s not the constant mooing of sacred cows in my head. I’m enjoying listening to your podcasts. Thank you, and keep up the good work.