Wayne Jacobsen

When I get home from a trip people always ask me how it went. I never know how to answer that question, because each trip is layered with so many experiences and trying to sum them all up in a word or two is nearly impossible. I think questions like, “What was your most interesting conversation?” “Who did you meet that surprised you?” “What did you all talk about in Pratt?” might lead to more fascinating conversations.

This last trip to Kansas is a good case in point. There were moments when I spoke in more formal settings—a congregation, a youth group and even a morning session in a homeless shelter. I spent many evenings in long conversations with small groups of people sorting out what it means to live deeply in Jesus in this day. And I had nearly countless one-on-one conversations with people at critical crossroads in their journey. Looking back, the days seem so rich with dozens of exchanges and recognitions of Father’s hand working in people’s lives.

What a change from the way I used to travel, where the focus was always on an event, usually where I was presenting a seminar or lecture to silent listeners! Most of the exchanges I had were surface questions that an attendee might ask a presenter. Too many times after the event the dialog with organizers rarely got back to the life of Jesus and instead got lost in sports, weather or politics. I don’t mind discussing those things too, but true spiritual hunger goes beyond the meetings to continue to share his life together. That’s what I like now. Each trip seems like an ever-running conversation with different ones spilling in and out of it as they have time and in doing so they connect with others in their area and hopefully connect with Father as well.

On this trip, I had lots of opportunity to covet. I met two people who had their own airplanes, one who had flown a small plane for 50 years off of a grass strip 75 yards from his house. The other an air traffic controller with the FAA, one of the things I’d always wanted to be. Though I did get my pilot’s license at 17, I rarely used it past 25 and now only fly when others take me up. The hobby was just too expensive for my lifestyle.

And there was lots of humor. Laughter makes us all more human, reduces our pretensions and opens the door for deeper conversations ahead. I think God must laugh a lot since he gave us such a rich appreciation for humor. I reconnected with old friends and made some new ones. In one home I stayed in the Miss America Bedroom, where she had stayed 11 years before and there was a plaque on the wall.

In the end now, it is all about the people for me. What did God do? Who did he touch or encourage to make another step in their journey? There are so many people today looking beyond the walls of traditional religious obligation who hunger to know the Living God and experience his freedom and transformation.

It’s good now to be home four days, before leaving again over the weekend. Then I’ll be back two before heading out for 12 to Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina. There’s more people to meet, more lives to encourage, more grace to celebrate. I hope you’re celebrating his grace wherever you happen to be in the world today and with whomever God has places in your path…

That may just be the essence of community: I couldn’t let you go through this alone. The first time I heard those words it was a good friend who walked beside me through the most painful experience of my life. We had share some wonderful times together, but then he withdrew for a season from our relationship. I was so blessed we reconnected in the midst of my trial.

One day I asked him why he had withdrawn for a time. His answer? “I could see you were going to get hurt badly and I just couldn’t bear to watch it.”

I understood his comment. He had been through something similar and I knew how painful it was for him to walk with me through mine. I laughed, “But you’re hear now at the worst of it.”

“I know,” he smiled. “I couldn’t let you go through this alone.”

I don’t know a better definition for community. It isn’t always fun and games, but love will not let people go through their darkest days alone. As hard as it may be for us to be alongside, our passion for the person won’t let us be anywhere else.

I was reminded of that recently as I read Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. It’s an old book I’ve wanted to read for a long time. It’s about a professor dying of ALS, and a former student who comes for the last chapter of his life. It’s lessons from the brink of death and many of them are breathtaking. Even though this man was not a passionate believer, he’d come to believe some things that are pretty consistent with the life of Jesus:

So many people walk around with meaningless life, they seem half a sleep, even when they are busy doing things, they think they are important, this is because they are chasing the wrong things, the way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to something that gives you purpose and meaning.

And this:

Love wins, love always wins.

I loved the book, enjoyed the lessons, but was most touched by this former student who would come and spend every Tuesday with his former professor in the last stages of his disease. He learned a lot, but also gave a lot—friendship on the brink of death.

At my brother’s funeral a number of years ago one of his best friends stood up at his funeral and said that he couldn’t bear to visit my brother as he suffered the final stages of multiple sclerosis. He wanted to remember him as he was, not in his weakened condition. When he was needed the most he couldn’t bear to go. How sad!

The meaning of compassion is right in the word itself. It means to “come to passion” and passion in the old English meant suffering. It means to run to suffering. To be there at the worst because someone we love needs us there. I love that. A good picture of that are the 9/11 rescue workers who were running into the World Trade Center when everyone else was trying to run out. Compassion means being there when it’s incredibly difficult because we just can’t imagine letting someone we love go through it by themselves.

No one enjoys walking people through dark valleys or through painful reactions, but love says, I’ll be there for you. I may not know what to do or what to say. But I just can’t let you go through this alone!

That was a whirlwind!

The National Prayer Breakfast was a bit of a mixed bag. We met some wonderful people, heard a lot of incredible stuff, but I still have very mixed feelings at how our government officials use a cloak of religion for political purposes. Some find that incredibly healthy. I find it a bit weird. On the plus side there were some great encouragement to help people who have so very little in the rest of the world. We heard about kiva.org, a way for people here to sponsor others in the developing world with micro-loans so they can start new businesses. It doesn’t just channel money, but build relationships. We also heard Ward Brehm share his spiritual transformation from arrogant businessman, to an impassioned advocate on behalf of the world’s poor and oppressed. He was very challenging.

We also heard a lot of buzz about THE SHACK, and often we sat at tables with people who had just read it or had recently heard about it and were trying to get a copy. We even had some incredible moments with people who are highly skilled in their professions, offering us their wisdom as we take the next steps in this project.

What a contrast all that pomp and circumstance provided, however, from my favorite part of the weekend. Saturday we met with free-range believers from all over that region. We had about 70 people from Maryland, Virginia, and Pennsylvania gather in a home to meet my wife Sara, my podcast partner Brad and Paul, the author of THE SHACK. What a great day! I think people really enjoyed getting to know them and hear a bit of their journeys firsthand. We split up into smaller groups for dinner and came back, to continue to mix in smaller conversations, some of them lasting well past midnight.

It’s hard to encapsulate all that we talked about, all the people we met, and all that happened in our time, but it brings me great joy to see Jesus knitting his family together. We had people from all walks of life and in many different places on the journey. Some of them had only recently come in touch with Lifestream or The God Journey. Some were facing major transitions in their lives and needed counsel and prayer. Many shared their own journey and what God was doing in them. I think I can say we were all greatly enriched by the church Jesus is building and the part of it we got to taste that weekend.

I don’t think we have a clue yet what this family can really be like when we get the rituals and agendas out of the way and just celebrate our life in him. Believe me, I had more fun sitting in a home with 70 real people on Saturday sharing the journey, than I had in a room of 4,000, including some of the most powerful people in the world, over breakfast on Thursday.

I love what God is doing in the earth!

I love this little exchange from the other day and thought you would to:

I was reflecting upon the glorious time I had meeting you and the other families in the Omaha area who are on this journey into Father’s heart. Some key things were spoken and readily applied to that week-end that left me speechless. I’m glad we got to know each other.

I have a question that deals with The Shack book. God is explaining to Mack that God the Father, Son & Holy Spirit do not relate in a hierarchal way, but rather, they relate on the basis of their love & trust in one another. I was reading John 14 this morning & found a passage that I’m not sure what Jesus is getting at, here it is:

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really loved me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father, who is greater than I am. I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do happen, you will believe. (John 14:27-29

What is Jesus saying when He says to his disciples that he’s going to His Father, who is greater than Jesus is?

My response: I love that you’re searching the Scriptures with some of these ‘issues’ in mind. That’s a great way to learn and grow. Without getting into a major dissertation here in an email, just think of what these passages can mean outside a relationship where power and status are important, instead of function and honor. Someone can be ‘greater’ without being ‘higher’, especially as Jesus is in human flesh in space and time.

The Three are constantly giving priority, honor, and glory to each other in Scripture as an act of their love and recognition of each other’s unique place, without having to resort to a hierarchy of power. They key here: where agreement exists, the need for power in decision-making makes no sense. They act in concert while at the same time not having to resort to command and control structure.

It is amazing and beautiful and powerful!

I’ve never looked at Jesus this way before. I think I’ve spent most of my Christian life perceiving God through the lens of status & power, but how you described in relationship is beautiful & awesome.

For those that want a first-had look at what’s happening in Kenya, the BBC posted a report by Karen Allen that looks at the battle to restore order in Kenya, amid ongoing violence linked to the disputed presidential election in December.

Please pray! That’s most important. And, if any of you want to help us help them on a financial level, please go to our Invoice Page and click on the ‘Pay Invoice’ button. You can then list “Donation for Kenya” and the amount you’d like to give. If you use the ‘Donation’ button you will need to also send me an email letting me know you wanted this to go for Kenya and not for Lifestream. All donations to this cause are tax deductible and every dime sent to us will go out for relief in this Kenyan crisis. Or, if you prefer, you can also send a check to Lifestream • 7228 University Dr. • Moorpark, CA 93021.

Well, Sara and I are off to the airport and an overnight flight to Washington, DC where we’ll attend the President’s Prayer Breakfast with the whole Shack team as well as hook up with other brothers and sisters in the area. It promises to be a lot of fun and all the more because Sara is going too!

But I’m going to leave you with a wonderful surprise. Some letters I get just blow me away. ‘Melanie’ sent me her story last week and I think you’ll be blessed to read of the depths of pain that bondage can drag us into and Father’s amazing ability to find us even in those depths. (I have changed some of the details to disguise her identity)

I am writing this email to tell you how much I enjoy all of Lifestream and listen to you and Brad on The God Journey podcast every week. I love the freedom that I am able to live in even when those around me do not understand what it is!

I look at my life today and realized how blessed I am and I give all the glory to Father. I have a beautiful daughter. I have an awesome career ahead of me! I am in the best shape physically that I have ever been. I have an awesome family – a mom and dad who have always been there for me – even when I didn’t want them to be. They were wise and loving enough to give me the freedom to learn the hard way but were there to help me heal when I discovered how hard the life I chose was. I have an older brother who is my bestest friend! This life of mine today is so different than the way it was headed just over 3 years ago. Let me start at the beginning.

I am a US Navy brat! My dad was Navy; Uncles were Navy, a Grandfather in Navy! Brother is in Navy! I saw through my eyes how perfect those people were. And with this all around me, I put expectations on myself that I could never achieve! Don’t ask me how I did that – I really don’t know! I was never satisfied or content with myself no matter what I did or how well I did it. I worked hard in school academically, socially and extra-curricularly. I was involved in gymnastics, dance, swimming and captain of the cheerleading drill team. I strove to achieve and I did – but it was never good enough! It was never good enough for me!

Unfortunately, in 11th grade, I started going out with a guy who lived two lives. He was also six years older than me. He was heavily involved in the drug trade in Southern California. I ended up getting pregnant. Out of the shame, I ran away thinking I would get kicked out anyway. Thinking I would be able to move in with my boyfriend, I ran to him and found out he didn’t want a pregnant teenager on his hands. I left there with a broken heart and more shame and disgust with myself. I stayed with some friends and was basically giving myself away to whoever would have me. At six and a half months pregnant, I was gang raped and beat and left for dead. In and out of consciousness, my daughter was delivered prematurely. She was three months old before I came to consciousness enough to realize I was a mommy.

My parents were there to help me. I didn’t feel I deserved their help, so I escaped with my daughter on my own again. I answered an advertisement for a talent agency that was looking for girls with dancing talent and an open mind. I went to the interview and was told I would be perfect for the performing they had in mind. The word perfect stuck in my brain! Something I was perfect for! I took the two-week crash course on being an exotic dancer. The first few performances were raw and hard. I only had to go topless and in a g-string, but it was so far removed from normal behavior for me, I was shocked at myself to how I loved the attention I received. Within three months, I had clubs asking for me by name. Within six months, I had become a feature dancer. In the area, this was simply unheard of. All this attention fueled my need to be the best. I was beginning to make lots of money and lots of perks. I was able to hire a nanny for my daughter who traveled with us all over North America.

I began to get pressured to perform in films. I refused these requests. The pressure intensified until it came to a point where I hated what I was doing. Unbeknownst to me, I was actually in breach of contract because I was refusing to perform in porn films. One night I was visited by a couple of gentlemen who informed me that they basically owned me. I didn’t know what to do. I finally said yes to do a film with them, but the first day of filming, I couldn’t do it. I was beat up pretty badly by my ‘agent’.

I took a contract to perform in Canada for a while to escape the pressure. My daughter was with me and we were having a good time, money was coming in good and I was becoming well known. My agent informed me that I could appease people by posing for some magazines. When I found out I did not have to have sex to be in the magazine, just full nudity, I agreed. In my mind at the time, that was far better. I did eight photo shoots, which ended up being in euro-mags. Little did I realize, I was falling deeper into the pit.

Just after my 22nd birthday, I was coming offstage at a club in Vancouver Canada, when these three girls about my age came up to me with a dozen roses and a basket of personal care products. They gave it to me with a message of “Jesus loves you and so do we.” I burst into tears and escaped to my dressing room. I had grown up in a church going home and new the truths in the Bible. This event flooded my brain with all the fond memories I had as a child learning about God and Jesus from my mom and dad. I immediately got on the phone and called home. They told me I was always welcomed home!

I started packing our belongings when my agent came into my hotel room. He informed me that I cannot just walk away from these contracts. He told me basically I had to fulfill every last detail to their satisfaction before they would consider releasing me. I was trapped. I continued performing but hating it once again. I found escape in chatting with some wonderful people in Christian chat rooms. Though I didn’t know anyone really, I poured out my heart and circumstances to a few people who began to pray for me. In the meantime, these three girls continued coming to this club to see me. I agreed to go for a coffee with them. They just shared the love of the Father with me and how much He loves me. They said they knew I had a relationship with God by how I responded to their first visit.

At this same time, my brother discovered where I was and what was going on. He and some people of the congregation he was involved with assembled enough finances to free me from my obligations. I was free!

So much has happened since then even. I took courses to get my personal fitness trainer certifications and began working. My daughter and I got to really know one another. I call her my miracle child. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know if I would still be here. I don’t even know why I told you all of this.

Anyway, I didn’t start going to “church” right away. I just read the gospels over and over again discovering who Jesus is. Wow! He is something else. I am so glad I did that as I dont know if I could have loved the God of the old testament without first seeing who he is in Jesus. Anyway, I started visiting “church” congregations to become totally confused and frustrated. I became anxious and unsure of who I was as a Christian, or if I even was one. My brother had recently visited your website and emailed me the link. Wow! Thank you so much. I listened, I read, I compared to what I was reading in the bible and am confident I am right where father wants me. I have talked to some people about it and they say I am apostate which made me smile because yes, I have left religion!

I just finished reading “The Shack” which totally blew me away. Wow. Father was there with me through all of what I went through. I certainly identify with Mack when he realized that he did love papa and did trust papa.

Now it is 2008 and I am just loving this life Father leads me in. Of course, like everyone, I still have issues. Biggest issue I have right now is with men. I don’t know how I will ever really be able to trust a man to have a healthy relationship. But, I do know when Father knows I am ready, we will cross that bridge together. For now, it is my daughter and I and we love hanging out. I am able to keep busy working as a fitness trainer. This will be season two of competing in triathlons and I love getting together with my folks and brother who all love Father who has brought us together the way he has.

I guess I tell you all this to tell you thanks for making a difference in me. You and Brad have an awesome podcast. I send the link to The God Journey to everyone I email and tell everyone I know.

I just love hearing how Father pulls people out of darkness and restores them with life and with joy. No one is too far out of reach for God to rescue! Thanks to this dear young woman for sharing her story with me, and now with all of you!

Windblown Media has just released a new Shack image for use on other websites. You can see it above. If you’d like to include it on yours, you can download it at here.

Due to a trip Sara and i are taking to the east coast, our offices will be closed from noon on February 5 until Monday, February 11. Books and CDs ordered after noon on Tuesday, will not be shipped until the following Tuesday. We apologize for any inconvenience this causes you.

A while back I did a blog on our reprint of So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore, suggesting we might change titles on this book to make it more accessible to others.

We’ve bounced all over this for some time, as did the input we got from many of you. There are pluses and minuses to many different alternatives. While we thought a more ‘fiction-obvious’ title would help describe the book better and connect us with a new audience, in the end we were convinced that the current title best connected us with the audience that would be most encouraged by this book. The “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore” title has continued to be a link to many, who like Jake, are having their eyes open to the difference between institutional priorities and relational realities.

Shortly after we made our decision, I received the following email that confirmed where we wanted to go with this book. It came from Trisha:

I have just emailed some pals about your book. It’s amazing how God works you know? I was getting fed up of “doing” church after 10 years of faithful serving/attendance etc., and one recent Sunday I decided to “bunk” off (very rare for me)! I said out loud to God, “I do not want to go to church anymore.”

Immediately I sensed God telling me to Google those very words. Yes, to literally type them into the Google search engine! So that is how I came across your book, and am currently enjoying its humour, wise truths and I sense it is bringing real freedom to me.

And hey, it must be nice to know that God himself is promoting your book!

So if God is using the title, what else can we do? Seriously, God has been using it all along to draw the right audience for the book. So in the end, we’ve decided to keep the title as is, though you’ll note by the picture above that we’ve changed the layout dramatically. Rather than the big words saying “Don’t Go to Church”, which some took as a subliminal message. To which my response has been, there was nothing sub-liminal about it. It was clearly liminal! And I think that’s why everyone assumed from the title that the book would contain a lot of ‘church-bashing.’

It wasn’t designed for that at all. It was written to help people find a life in God’s through a freedom from religious shame that they perhaps

Now the big words are “Want Church”, and it has an entirely different feel. And the subtitle has been cut down to just, “an unexpected journey” and is far more readable. Because this book was written for people who hunger to live in the reality of church as God might see her and Jesus is building her, rather than as lifeless institutions.

So, we know that won’t do answer it for everyone. But we’re settled that it is the best solution that we can see today. We’re already ordered a reprint because we’ve only got a couple of cases left and then we’d be out.

I loved this email I got from a brother in Germany recently:

This whole last week I was listening to your Transition series and now the rest of our group got so interested that we all started to listen to it together. What a blessing! What an eye opener! We too realised that we have been focusing far too much on “home church” rather than on Jesus himself, so listening to this stuff is so exciting! I now almost feel like when I first got saved… easy, not ashamed, excited and full of love and life, and I never want to go back to anything else again.

How quick we are to take our eyes off of Jesus and put it on ‘the church’ in its myriad of expressions. When we do the life is lost, because there is life in no other but the Son. There are lots of ways believers can gather and encourage each other. But at the heart of it, Jesus must have first place in all things. That’s what makes the church, the church! It isn’t where we meet or how we meet, but the church ‘gathers’ around the supremacy of Christ. Read Colossians 1 again some time and bask in the simple joy that Jesus is the first born of the new creation.

Where we are focused on him we get to experience the life of the church with him. When we are focused on any other thing, including whatever church model we’re trying to implement, we’ll only get to experience the model. What a horrible trade-off, in my view!