Wayne Jacobsen

Chapter 11: Love, Rest, and Play

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Note: This is the eleventh in a series of letters written for those living at the end of the age, whenever that comes in the next fifteen years or the next one hundred and fifty years. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

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I have been to every prayer school and intercession meeting that came into my orbit. I have pounded on heaven’s doors for the redemption of the world and for so many healings and miracles only to see meager results. I am rarely able to discern how he might respond? Can you help me understand how to engage God more consistently?
Tisha, 83-year-old widow who describes herself as a frustrated intercessor

Dear Tisha,

Unfortunately, I don’t think your experience is uncommon at all. It seems we both grew up in a time where being a radical follower of Jesus meant praying earnestly, sometimes hours a day in hopes of getting God to act on our behalf. For the first 40 years of my journey, I thought the key to an effective prayer life was intensity and desperation. That’s what we thought we needed to get God’s attention and ingratiate ourselves to him.

Groveling in repentance, repeating our requests over and over with a rising pitch, and trying to convince ourselves that if we believed enough, he had to give us what we prayed for. I spent countless hours in rooms full of people praying fervently, only to walk out having to convince ourselves that God was moved even though we rarely saw those times producing any fruit. Believing harder, praying harder, trying to live more righteous, didn’t endear God to our requests.

It appears you’ve been more tenacious in this than most, who gave up at much younger ages, convinced that they didn’t have what it took to engage God. I hope you’ll be able to take the passion you have had to discern God’s ways and perhaps channel it differently in a more effective way.

Gaze with Me

Four years ago, I helped start a gathering of men and women from different countries to pray about God’s work in the world. I’d known all of them multiple decades and had witnessed them making choices to follow Jesus even when it cost them deeply. We shared a concern for the growing delusion among many Christians, who were no longer following the heart of the Jesus but pursuing their own political and economic gain.

From the early days of our prayers, God revealed insights to us that has shaped many of us in our prayers together. Early on, he taught us how to gaze with him and not at him. That may sound like a small distinction but it’s not. In many of my prayers I would offer to God, the need I was concerned about, I would place before him, hoping to catch his gaze and by that get him to act.

Gazing with him was a different thing entirely. It was still bringing our requests to him but instead of them standing between us, he invited us to stand alongside him and view our concerns from his perspective. It changed us. Standing with him in his might and power altered our perspective and we learned to see our concerns inside his purpose instead of our desires. What would glorify his name and further his purpose in the world?

It’s difficult to be desperate when you’re standing inside his purpose, with all his resources at hand. Instead of praying out of our anxieties that God wouldn’t do what we hoped, he showed us the environment in which we best engage him, not only with our concerns but, more importantly, coming to know his. Three words summed up the spirit of our engagement with him—love, rest, and play. They became the watchwords of our engagements with him. Whenever we would lean toward anxiety or desperation, they would invite us back to the environment where our time with him offered greater insight and more effectiveness.

As we discovered the power of love, rest, and play, we spoke less to God as our adversary or as the reluctant rich uncle who needed to be prodded. Instead, we found a generous God deeply steeped in his desires to win the world into his goodness and drive out the darkness, not by the sheer force of his word, but by the gentle transformation of his people.

Jesus encouraged his disciples not to give into anxiety or the idea that worrying would add anything to God’s work. In the words of Eugene Peterson, he told his disciples, “What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving” (Matthew 6:31). What a shift in thinking! I spent forty years trying to get from God—get saved, get a healing, get a ministry, or get my prayers answered. Instead of working through my prayer list every day, I began to ask a simple question. “Father, what are you giving me today?” Who are you giving me to love? What do you want to show me about yourself? How do you want to resolve the crisis I’m in? Quite naturally, I abandoned my agenda and kept my eyes open for what He was doing around me.

Shifting from desperation to love, rest, and play is a steep learning curve. Nothing in my religious background prepared me for it and risking some of the methods of old made me wonder whether we were on a fool’s errand. It didn’t turn out that way at all. Instead, it allowed us to enter into his work with a relaxed heart that allowed us to see what he was wanting to say to us.

So how do you experience love, rest, and play with God? I’ll break it down for you in the rest of this chapter but, believe me, this is not something you’ll learn from an article, book, or seminar. You can’t mimic someone else’s language and hope to see results. This is a journey the Holy Spirit wants to take you on so that as a genuine expression of your own heart and life, love, rest, and play become the measure of your life in him.

Love

What Jesus accomplished on the cross was to prove how much the Father and Son love us, even when we struggle with sin or doubt. As beloved sons or daughters, we are welcome in his presence without the need to grovel for acceptance. Our invitation there is marked with confident belonging. We are loved by him more than we love ourselves, and his desires to work in us and around us have greater aspirations than our own.

If we come to God intimidated by his majesty, fearful that God won’t be enough, or that his way won’t be the best way, we have blinded ourselves before we begin. We may think we know what God wants, but so often we are wrong. While we want the direct approach to our comfort, God takes the eternally transformative route, which rarely means he wants to fix every hard or painful circumstance. I don’t believe for a minute that he causes hardship for us; he knows the world is dark enough to challenge us. He just wants to thwart that darkness, rarely by removing the challenge, but by using it to transform us ever more into his faithful children.

Learning to be confident in his love is a powerful process that can take significant time in our journey. As John described it late in his life, “And so we have come to know and come to rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” (I John 4:16) Even though John was one of Jesus closest disciples he had a learning curve as well. Early on he wanted to call down fire from heaven to burn up the Samaritans not realizing that spirit in him seeking retribution was not the Spirit of God.

In time, though, he came to learn just how loved he was and how to live out of that love toward others. So much so that he also said that’s how you know someone is born of God, because they live out of love (I John 4:7-8). When you know you’re loved, then you can engage God about the things that concern gentleness. Desperation has no place because you know that his love will be big enough to walk you through whatever may come. And not trying so hard to get what I want makes it easier to see what he is already doing.

Living in love is a beacon all its own, lighting the dark places with the quiet confidence that Father is at work around me and wants me to participate with him. Trusting his love will even set us at ease when he seems quiet, because we’re confident of his working even when we don’t see him.

Rest

Even the Old Testament teaches that we are best able to know God’s heart when we are at rest in him. “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it” (Isaiah 30:15). For some reason we prefer to earn our own way, which is impossible with the things of God. That’s why he gave them the Sabbath, to remind them to trust God’s provision and not strive endlessly in their own flesh. Instead, they came to see the Sabbath as its own laborious taskmaster.

But the Sabbath rest in God’s eyes was about far more than to take a day off once per week; it was a way of life. Hebrews 3 and 4 underscore that reality. The writer said that Israel never entered into God’s rest, even with their preoccupation for all the Sabbath rules. So, he reminded the followers of Jesus that a rest remains for us to embrace where we “cease from their works, just as God did from his” (Hebrews 4:10).

How can we live at rest in his work? As he deepens our trust, we will come to rely on his power, instead of ourselves and our performance. Even the act of praying with desperation and “crying out to God” is an attempt for our efforts to impress God and compel him to act. False religious thinking almost always focuses on performance and proving ourselves worthy of the answer we seek. How many of us in desperation have tried to impress God by acting more righteous or more confident than we really were? As long as we invest the success of our engagement with God by our own abilities, we will miss how he works. When we finally realize that our human effort cannot accomplish any Godly thing and that “apart from him we can do nothing,” then we are ready to learn the power of engaging God already at rest in his work, instead of trying to push ours.

That doesn’t mean we do nothing, parking ourselves on a sofa and leaving it all up to him. He wants to share his work with us, and when you come to recognize how God works, then you will know what he wants from you. You’ll no longer lash out in fear and doubt hoping to manipulate God with your attitude or actions.

That’s where life becomes exciting because we don’t have to accomplish anything for God, just simply respond to him however he may guide you.

Play

References to love and rest are easily seen throughout Scripture, and knowing how they shape our relationship with God, it’s easier to see. But play is a different story; the only scriptures that refer to play accuse Israel of “playing the harlot.”

But one cannot read the Gospels honestly without seeing a playful Jesus, inviting people into his kingdom. Whether it’s with a Samaritan woman by a well, or a Pharisee late at night trying to understand what it is to be born again. And one cannot know God without realizing he is the most playful presence in the universe. I often see his playfulness in the unfolding of circumstances or “coincidences” that bring a smile to my face at the same time they speak safety to my heart.

For example, one day I was grieving the loss of a close relationship because of some lies spread about me. On my way to meet a friend at a restaurant, I struggled with what I should do to repair the relationship. I sensed he wanted me to leave it in hands and not fret over it. As I walked into the restaurant, signed up for a table and sat down, the refrain of Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds, which was playing over the sound system began to wash over my soul. “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing is gonna be alright.” I smiled, certain that God was winking at me. And you know what, everything did turn out alright.

I don’t really know you can wrap your heart around this reality until you discover for yourself just how playful God can be with you. Some of the most humorous thoughts I’ve had seem to have come from him. And, yes, this is far, far away from my religious sensibilities as a youth. I used to be terrified of God, thinking he was austere and serious about everything and any attempt to bring levity into the presence of God was considered blasphemous.

Any good teacher will tell you that humor and play are the best ways to help people learn, just like any father would do with his children. Play connects us to intimacy while allowing us the distance of humor to grasp the power of truth. The Scriptures that help us connect with play are those that speak so positively about laughter, joy, and childlikeness. “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). Children are always at play; humor and laughter draw them into a conversation, and if you can engage that way, you will be able to teach them far more than yelling at them will accomplish.

It is possible for us to become so serious about God and ourselves that we shuffle our way past what God wants to reveal to us. Why wouldn’t a light-hearted approach to God be more fruitful than a heavy-hearted one? I find when I come to him with a childlike heart, I’m more attuned to him and relaxed enough to recognize his thoughts as well as to enjoy the relationship with him. Being playful with God is not disrespectful or sacrilegious since it originates in him. That doesn’t mean God isn’t serious when the times call for it, but with his children he often plays them into his reality with a wink and a nod.

I visited a family outside Edmonton, Alberta, Canada one fall and I could not believe how many toys they had to go out and play with in the ice and snow, and how much cold weather gear filled the closets and garage. When I remarked on it one day, the father responded, “It is so cold here for so long that if you don’t learn to play in it, it will own you.”

The same is true of the darkness and brokenness of this world, especially as we approach the end of the age. If you don’t learn to play with God in the pain and challenge of it all, it will own you. I’m discovering that afresh in a recent diagnosis of bone cancer that has already destroyed a vertebra in my back and has landed me on chemo to bring it to remission. In times past I would have lain awake in tears and pleading with God to spare me this stretch of the journey. This time, I’ve been able to entrust it to my relationship with God, knowing I’m deeply loved, that he is at work in some way amid  this extremity, and that I can be playful with him while we see where this goes.

I can’t imagine any posture being more helpful at the end of the age than those who can navigate difficulties inside love, rest, and play, especially when we know the outcomes of all these things. In time, whether in this life or the next, all will be well!

So, Tisha, when you sit down with God or take a walk with him in the woods, cultivate the environment where you can be confident in his love for you, at rest in his work on your behalf, and at play with his goodness. This is where you’ll find yourself at home in him and he can at home in you.

There’s no better place to be attuned to his heart and able to see how his goodness is unfolding in you despite the situations that surround you.

 

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You can access previous chapters here.  Stay Tuned for Chapter 12.

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For Such a King

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This quote popped in my inbox this morning from The Plough, taken from an article by Kelsi Folsom:

I am ignited with my own litany of longings: For a king whose miracles aren’t only for those who can afford them. For a king who will shut down hospitals because our healed bodies don’t need them. A king who will stabilize energy grids, food supply, and erratic weather systems. A king whose beauty and bounty dismantle the appeal of terrorist organizations and boundary demarcating. A king under whose rule no innocent would perish. A king whose everlasting peace marks the end of evil.  For such a king, I too have waited all my life.

That quote made me want to shout, “Me too!” I await a king just like that who does these things and so many more. Isn’t this what Isaiah meant when he said the government would be on his shoulders?

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

We are celebrating the very season where that King has already come to this earth—as an infant, a young man of tremendous power and wisdom, then offering himself as a sacrifice to win us into Father’s love against all the lies and lures of darkness, as the Resurrected Savior who can live inside each of us, and the soon-coming King who will subdue the evil in this world and make the kingdoms of this world his own. I have pledged my life, my honor, and all I possess to such a king.

For now, we can each allow that King to win this place in our hearts. He can have his way in our bodies, guide us through the horrors that the chaos of this age brings us,  draw us to himself with such beauty that no other earthly affiliation holds sway over our hearts, and lead us to rescue any innocent around us that our generosity and love might aid. In short, he can give us his Life internally, even amid the chaos of this age.

Soon, he will return to take the governance of his Creation on his shoulders, and those things we most long for will be true for all the world.

And the Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.”

 

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The artwork above is from Wayne’s book, A Man Like No Other, in collaboration with Brad Cummings and Murry Whiteman. It is our featured book this week at Lifestream this week, so if you’d like to get it at a unique discount, look here.

Kyle and I will have a new podcast entitled Survival Mode and Redefining Salvation tomorrow morning at The God Journey.

Medical update:  I had a great day yesterday and some good news on all fronts. My back continues to feel better every day. I can now walk a mile daily, which surprises my doctors. My oncologist is “very happy” with my numbers as we are halfway through the intense part of my chemo. I have two new book projects that have captured my heart, and I can work on them for 4-5 hours per day without growing weary. I still have a long way to go, and a hundred things could go wrong, but at the moment, everything looks very good, and Sara and I are grateful. Thanks for all your love, concern, and prayers.

I can also do almost everything to care for my own needs, so the load is growing lighter on Sara. She is exhausted, however, from the very demanding last two months. I pray for God to restore her strength and joy and get her back on her own track for healing from the trauma she suffered. Our neighbors have also blessed us tremendously. Even though we have only lived here for 17 months, the neighborhood is one of our communities. They keep an eye out for us, cheer me on toward greater healing, and come by to offer some delightful conversations that distract us from the challenges and renew us with words of love and joy.

 

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A Fresh Wave for He Loves Me

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While I am sidelined with my recovery from back surgery and some chemo, God seems to be stirring something with my book He Loves Me. In the last week I’ve had numerous emails about this book. Some people are starting book studies with friends or doing podcasts about it. It’s so much in one week that it has made me ponder what Father might be doing in this season with a book that is almost 25 years old.

Also, someone sent me a link to two people who did a deep dive into He Loves Me, but they did it in 21 minutes. I was impressed, though, with their conversation because it covered the significant themes in an engaging and enlightening way. You can listen to it here.

I also recorded a podcast on Tuesday with Discovering God with Tacos. It’s a funny name for it, and I thought I’d have to recuse myself since I’m not too fond of tacos, but they were gracious to let me join them anyway and talk a bit of BBQ while we’re discussing my journey. I can’t wait to share it with you when it airs. I’ll have to let you know when it does.

Finally, I’m getting emails from various places around the world that want to do translations and reprints. This includes Israel, Russia, and Ukraine. That hasn’t been easy to do with Hachette holding the rights to the book; they don’t like people putting up the book for free downloads. However, I’ve always been more concerned about the message getting out than the financial return on this book, so we are entering negotiations with Hachette to have the book returned to us so we can pursue these requests. Please pray we’ll be successful here.

What to make of all of this? I’m not sure. But it seems God is letting a whole new audience discover that book and its message. I’ve often said it is the most important book I’ll ever write because there’s nothing more critical than moving from an appeasement-based view of God to an affection-based relationship with him. He loves each of us more than anyone ever has or ever will, and when we come to discover that we’ll find ourselves on the journey of a lifetime, not only coming to rest in his goodness but also learning how that love begins to untwist sin, shame, and religious effort in us so that we can truly live as his people on the earth.

You can buy it in case lots at deep discounts here if you want to start a study on it or make it a Christmas gift to your friends.

As for me, my recovery continues to progress. I don’t have much back pain these days from surgery, so almost all recovered there, and I can manage a lot more things for myself. However, that also means we can ramp up the chemo drugs to higher doses, so we’ll have to see how that goes. I’ve felt pretty good the last couple of weeks, though, and have been able to get back to some writing and thinking that God is inviting me into. I’m grateful for that, though my endurance is somewhat limited. I do hope I can maintain that with these new drugs. Sara and I are thankful for all the love and support from so many of you at this time. God is at work, though not in the same way I would have hoped early on. That’s often true for all of us. He does know best, however, and when we trust him more than we trust our perceptions, the road gets less strenuous.

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I Will Miss You, Tony

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Tony Campolo passed away last week, and though I’m a bit late, I want to acknowledge his powerful contribution to Christian thought around the world and to my own life personally.

I never had the chance to meet him or hear him speak in person, but decades ago, his books and recordings challenged and inspired me. If you’ve never heard It’s Friday But Sunday’s Coming (the whole thing is sermon is powerful, but the story I’m referring to begins at 50:20) or The Kingdom of God Is a Party, don’t wait any longer. Any of his books are a great treat as well.

As you’ll see, Tony Campolo was among the most humorous speakers ever. Inside that humor was a constant challenge to be mindful of the poor and to realize that our calling as followers of Jesus is to lay down our lives for the needs of others. Many evangelicals didn’t like him, calling him a “liberal” as a way to dismiss his message. Indeed, I didn’t agree with everything he taught, but that’s true of most people. I have no problem enjoying the chicken and spitting out the bones. He coined the term, Red Letter Christians, to help Jesus followers take seriously the words of Jesus in the Gospels about visiting the sick, feeding the hungry, and reaching out to those in prison.

Since we’ve been talking about the focus of justice and righteousness on The God Journey before we had to take a hiatus, I’m freshly aware of the link between the Kingdom of God with God’s kind of redemptive justice for the broken, the marginalized, and the wounded and how skewed our preoccupation with personal holiness rather than the injustice in a fallen world.

I know no better illustration of that than how Tony Campolo addressed many chapels at Christian universities. He would often begin his talk with a statistic about how many children died the night before from malnutrition and related diseases around the world, numbering in the thousands.  Letting it sink in, he would then add, “And most of you don’t give a sh*t.”

Of course, the room would be scandalized at such a coarse word in their imagined holy place.

When the room settled, he would point to the heart of the problem. “What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said ‘sh*t’ than the fact that thousands of kids died last night.”

He wasn’t always invited back. In my more legalistic days, I would have been more concerned about his use of a bad word than I would have been about a hunger problem that seems too large for me to fix. That wouldn’t be true today. Justice is holding a bigger heart for the poor and deprived. Policing the word ‘sh*t’ is just a misplaced, legalistic preoccupation with righteousness.

Of course, we can care about injustice at the same time we watch our mouths, but Tony was making a point here.  I hope you don’t miss the larger issue as well. People concerned with their piety are often disengaged from how their lives impact others. That’s why they can profess Jesus while viciously fighting a culture war with a moral superiority that leaves no room to love their “enemies.”  It’s why some can think of themselves as holy; they don’t use “bad words,” but they still gossip about others to destroy relationships.

That’s why I’ve come to see, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his justice…” (Matthew 6:33) as a better translation than the word righteousness. We can seek righteousness and not always get to justice, but you can’t seek relational justice and not become more godly. Treating others the way we would want them to treat us is where the kingdom of God advances in the world. Of course, they are not unrelated, but one fixates on our good, and the other focuses on the fulfillment of God’s heart by being a beacon of his compassion in a broken world.

Tony, we will miss you here, and yet the joy I’m sure you’re finding there is beyond compare. Rest in peace, my friend. You served him well in this world.

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As for a personal update, my back continues to heal from fusion surgery, and though I still have to be careful while it heals, I’m almost pain-free there. I’ve been on a lower dose of chemo the last two weeks, so I have some really good days of late, but next week, they are going to be ramping up the dosage, and I’m not sure how I’ll be doing then.

Sara joins me on today’s episode of The God Journey podcast to share how our current challenge has also affected her journey. It’s called Expectations, Disappointment, and Hope.

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An Angel at My Door

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If you haven’t heard the podcast from last week or read this blog, you may not appreciate all that’s happening here. I’m currently battling bone cancer that destroyed vertebrae in my back, causing me to have surgery there.

But yesterday, I think I caught an angel on my Ring camera.

I had been battling nausea for three days, so I could barely eat or drink enough to maintain momentum. I was physically weak and tired of the fight. Sara reminded me that we take one day at a time.

Soon, I settled in my chair, and Sara took the dogs out for a walk. A few moments later, my phone told me someone was at the front door.  I turned to look, but no one was there. I hadn’t heard anyone out there. So, I checked the feed from our Ring camera, and sure enough, a woman came around the corner from our driveway and dropped a small package at the front door.  It was not someone I recognized because the light was so intense behind her that her facial features washed out.

As she walked away, she paused at the end of our porch, raised both hands to her lips, and blew a kiss back at our house. Then she extended her hands as if praying for Sara and me. I was undone the first time I saw it; it was such an act of tenderness and love. God’s Spirit washed over me, and I felt her extended arms, conveying her prayer and the prayers of many people I know who are holding space before God for us.  It felt like an angel had come to my door.

When Sara got home, she recovered the package from the front door, and it was a small gift from a woman we have been sharing a journey with over the past few years. She’s become a very close friend and cares for us deeply. Did the fact that she was someone we knew change my view that an angel was outside my door? It didn’t. Sometimes, angels are the closest people to us, and God works through them similarly. And I know what I felt when she was there.  It was all the richer knowing it was someone who loved us.

Call it a coincidence if you want, but later that day, we met with our oncologist, and things changed dramatically. He made adjustments to my medications due to my symptoms, and I came home from that appointment a changed man. I’ve not had nausea since and have even looked forward to meals. It’s quite a change.  I’ve felt stronger and could even do a 6/10 mile walk this morning.

And then there was this: the doctor told us that the marker in my blood they are using to track the power of the cancer has decreased 97.5% in the four weeks I’ve had treatment. He said that drop is highly unusual and indicates they may get this in remission sooner than they hoped. Another great piece of news, though we have no idea yet what twists and turns lie ahead.  We are assured, however, that we are not alone on this journey and that he is faithful.

The last twenty-four hours are the best I’ve had in weeks, and we are so grateful.

And the lady doing a simple act of love toward us had no idea at the time how powerfully God was using it.  Remember, a simple cup of cold water in his name can yield incredible fruit. Don’t despise the small acts of caring or minor expressions of love; the impact is often more significant than we understood then.

Maybe Jesus has someone on your heart to love today by simply expressing your love and caring for them.

 

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How Do You Withdraw Love?

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I’ll provide a health update after I share this brief quote that crossed my computer this morning and stirred my heart. This is a more profound treasure in the mine of love. You cannot fairly hope in God’s gracious love towards you in your brokenness if you also don’t share it with those who haven’t “earned” yours.

Love the Person You See by SØREN KIERKEGAARD

 

We foolish people often think that when a person has changed for the worse we are exempted from loving him. What a confusion in language: to be exempt from loving. As if it were a matter of compulsion, a burden one wished to cast away! If this is how you see the person, then you really do not see him; you merely see unworthiness, imperfection, and admit thereby that when you loved him you did not really see him but saw only his excellence and perfections. True love is a matter of loving the very person you see. The emphasis is not on loving the perfections, but on loving the person you see, no matter what perfections or imperfections that person might possess.

Real love continues no matter how much a person changes.

Love is not an obligation nor obedience; it is a different way of living in a river of love that comes from the Father’s heart and flows through us to touch the world.  Loved by him and then loving with him is where his glory dwells.

And of course this does not mean we have to maintain contact with people who are abusive or toxic. We can still love them, though, even from afar without letting ourselves continue to be a target for their anger and vengeance, in hopes that one day his light will dawn in their darkness.

 

Health update:

Thank you for all the emails, comments, notes, and calls expressing your love and prayers for us in this season.  I am now three weeks from my back surgery, and the pain has lessened appreciably. I still have much to deal with there, but I have greater freedom of movement and have even been able to take some short walks (really short!) with Sara. I have begun treatments for the underlying cancer, and we are very hopeful that this will mitigate further damage. However, this is a long and challenging regimen, and it will be some time before we know its true impact.

So, my time, energy, and focus are limited. I can respond to some emails and enjoy phone calls with friends, but I’m only doing what God seems to inspire me to do each day. I am not worried about trying to keep up with any workload; this will continue to be a time of healing for the foreseeable future. Through it all, Sara has been God‘s greatest gift to me, though I know it is also taking its toll on her. Pray for her strength to endure these days and the wisdom to know when to take a break and care for herself. Hopefully, as I can do more, she will not be so taxed.

In all of this, Sara and I are not without hope—that our God reigns, that every breath we take is in his hands, and that the works of darkness will not thwart his purpose in us. I am grateful to be his son and to live in his growing grace and revelation. Kyle and I may even record a podcast next week, strength permitting, to process some of what I’m learning in this stretch of the journey for those who are interested.

In our prayers for my condition, I always remember Jenny, a friend from the UK who has been suffering longer and far more deeply than me. Whenever I am before the Lord for my health, I am before him for hers, too. I’ve written about her on this blog as a gifted poet finding real faith amid desperate need. She needs some significant help right now if you have some means to help her. And please pray for her too as you pray for me.

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Taking Some Time to Heal

11 Comments / Behind the Scenes /

For all our best laid hopes and plans, it’s the things you don’t see coming that have the most profound impact in how life unfolds

Sara and I have a few detours thrown our way over our lifetimes, which has helped us to live feely in the present and not too dismayed when times turn a bit darker. Over the past few weeks, we have been caught in an ever-declining health situation that came on rapidly and will leaves it imprint for some time to come. I know most people don’t read this blog to hear about my health situation, and I don’t want to share all the details hear for the world to read. At the same time, I have a world of friendships and I just can’t keep up with all inquiries more personally.

I woke up on September 14th with severe pain in my back. I have had some back trouble from time to time, so that wasn’t a huge surprise, but as we prayed and sought treatment, the pain only increased to excruciating levels. Nothing seemed to slow it down, not an epidural, targeted injection, or physical. The scans we had didn’t unveil a cause worthy of the pain.

Nearly passing out from pain one day, Sara finally took me to the ER, early last week. During their rigorous tests they found a suspicious lesion on one of my vertebrae in the middle of my back. It was decomposing. The next day, I was on the operating table to remove the vertebrae for a biopsy, rebuild that part of my back and then fuse it to hold together.

The larger issue is what caused the deteriorating vertebrae. The biopsy has indicated multiple myeloma which is which is a cancer in the white blood cells. Fortunately, it is treatable, and the prognosis is good to manage this condition in the future. We’ll begin that today and hope that in the next two to three months we find the right combination of drugs to restrain this disease while my back heals from the very brutal surgery it just has endured.

So, quite quickly we entered a new season of our journey, learning to embrace Jesus’s love, light, and healing in these new challenges. He has been part of all of this from the beginning, leading us by his goodness and putting together the medical team we needed. We have no idea how long this stretch of our journey might demand all of us, whether it will be a few weeks, months, or longer. That’s not in our hands. It could also just go away tomorrow. We are not looking forward any of it, but we’re not afraid of it either. God works some of his special triumphs out of desperate situations.

We managed to return home Wednesday after my eight-day hospital stay. What’s evident now is that this medical battle ahead of us is going to take significant time and energy. It takes almost all we have each day just to get work though my treatment demands and navigate the pain. Recovery has already been arduous with pain and complications. Who’s to say what the next days and weeks will contain?

It is obvious now that this medical need is going to take almost all our time, energy, and resource for the foreseeable future. Thus, I’m going to be taking a leave of absence from writing, email, and podcasting as I give my full attention to what my body needs. We’ve tossed all our plans into the wind and we trust that God will show us the way forward.

How are our hearts through all of these? They’re great, well-covered by Jesus and his love for us. We are both so glad we have each other to lean on at a time like this. Our faith in the Lord stands resolute, confident that in his ability to work good out of tragic circumstances, and that pain is only another lens to see his beauty in the word.

We appreciate your prayers, concerns, and friendship. We will also appreciate your patience as we need to expend our resources closer to home these days. I know most people don’t read this blog for updates on our personal needs, but it is also true that Sara and I have a family that covers the whole world. So, we will provide some updates here in general terms. Our internet/messaging load is already greater than we can keep up with.

We are taking this one day at a time. We could wake up tomorrow completely healed and that may allow us to get back to those things God has asked of us. Or, that my happen over a few months. At this point and we are making no assumptions. We wake up each morning seeing what he has before us and what we need to do that day to deal with our circumstances and still find ways to put his love in the world. Sara has been a rock through this season in caring for me as well as sorting through all the medical information. She will need continued strength, rest, and joy to hold her. Please pray for her.

In the end, nothing has changed. Every day, every breath is in his hands, no more today than it was before all this began. We are confident that he has a way through this and that we will be here to accomplish his purpose for us in the earth. So, I guess we’re on a new journey together not just Sara and me but the Lifestream and God Journey families. So, buckle up. Let’s see how God glorifies himself here and anticipate with gratitude his power to do all things well.

Taking Some Time to Heal Read More »

Chapter 10: Only One Thing Matters

5 Comments / It's Time / / , , , , , , ,

Note: This is the tenth in a series of letters written for those living at the end of the age, whenever that comes in the next fifteen years or the next one hundred and fifty years. Once complete, I’ll combine them into a book. You can access the previous chapters here.  If you are not already subscribed to this blog and want to make sure you don’t miss any, you can add your name here.

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In your last letter you wrote, “The performance-based approach to God blinds us to the relational journey.” Can you unpack that more? Every day, I succumb to temptation, when I know better, struggle to apply godly disciplines, and feel his disappointment far more than I feel his love. I’ve been at this for over twenty-five years and want to find my footing on an authentic journey with Jesus.
Leo, surgical sales rep, and father of two in Tennessee

Thanks for writing, Leo. Your email makes my heart sad because I hear it so often. As much as Christianity teaches that Jesus has “paid the price for our sin” or “met all the requirements of the law,” it still loads us up with behavioral expectations that keeps us focused on our failures and blinds us to his love growing in our hearts. 

Even those who believe Jesus declared them righteous still labor under the obligation to appease him. Intuitively they know that the cross had to be about more than perpetual immunity that lets us live by our own desires without consequence. However, all our solutions to mitigate that put people back on the performance treadmill, which fails to yield the fruit Scripture says are ours—love irresistible, life in abundance, peace through trouble, and fullness of joy even in desperate times. Then we’re left to wonder where we went wrong or how God failed us? 

Let me see if I can help you get off that treadmill, Leo. It is well-designed to keep us so preoccupied with our personal righteousness that we miss the only thing that matters. Like the serpent’s lie in the garden, it preys on our best intentions. Who wouldn’t want to be like God, which is what our preoccupation with trying to be righteous seeks to do? It just doesn’t work because it depends on our effort.

 

A Different Way of Living

 

Jesus showed us how to live differently and then gave us everything we needed to walk as he did. He was not preoccupied with sin or living in fear of God’s punishment. He didn’t pursue personal piety or think himself excluded from God by the lack of it. 

But he was God, some might argue, so he didn’t battle the same temptations we do. Scripture tells us he did. Though he never gave into sin, it came for him unrelentingly, in ways we could never imagine. He experienced every temptation we do, and yet they couldn’t win over him. Why? Was he just strong enough to resist? Or did he hold a place inside his Father’s heart where temptation lost its appeal? 

I’m convinced it is the latter, and that is exactly what he offers us. Trying to gain personal righteousness is the greatest distraction I know to true discipleship. Those who focus on sin, especially those who work to abstain from it, will find themselves in a perpetual whirlpool of failed effort and its resulting shame, or they will pretend to have success in “major” sins as they seek refuge in the delusion of self-righteous arrogance. The second of those is far worse than the first. 

Both scenarios completely miss the point of God saving us from wherever our lives got twisted or broken. The salvation Jesus offered is to give us freedom from darkness and invite us into his life. By making it about heaven and hell instead, we emptied the cross of its power. We were taught that a “sinner’s prayer”, a commitment of faith, inviting Jesus into our heart, or being baptized, seals the deal. Having our eternal destiny secured, knowing his love became optional and no longer connected to the essence of salvation.  

You can’t live long in Christianity without being plagued by a call to righteousness and the competitiveness and comparisons it engenders that pit fellow believers against each other. And when we tie God’s favor to that, it gets even more destructive. If we do enough, he will bless us, answer our prayers, and keep us from harm. So, any time we endure hardship, we can blame ourselves for falling short of his righteousness, which leads to endless self-effort and second guessing our motives, or God’s. 

That’s why people can campaign for a biblical morality even as they treat people around them with indifference, anger, or deceit. The religious view of righteousness cannot produce a life of love. Perhaps Paul himself is the greatest example of that. Even though he was faultless as to the law, he became the “worst of sinners” by murdering God’s people. 

 

Aren’t We Supposed to Seek Righteousness?

 

Given all that Scripture says about righteousness, these may be difficult words for many to swallow. Christianity has landed on a fixation with righteousness that produces the opposite of what it intends. Personal godliness is not the goal of our faith; it is the fruit of a life lived inside God’s love. If you’re not living in that love, nothing you do externally will make any difference for you or for God. 

I have long known that our preoccupation with personal piety and trying to fight temptation is the greatest distraction to people experiencing the love and life of Jesus and the fruit that bears. And yet, the quest for righteousness fits so well into our religious paradigm. Of course, God wants us to be holy. So, we think that means we must work against sin by devotion, commitment, and accountability. And while those can help us overcome specific sins, they will not lead us to his fullness. 

What if the word ‘righteousness’ is not even in the Bible? I know what you’re thinking, and I thought it too when I first heard that from a South African theologian. His email couldn’t have been timelier, since I was already well into this chapter when I got it. Even still, it took a while for me to understand what he was saying. At first, I was ready to delete the email, thinking this was yet another nutjob spouting some weird doctrine. Of course, righteousness is in the Bible. I could think of at least fifteen verses mentioning righteousness just off the top of my head and knew there were dozens more. In fact, it is difficult to talk about the Gospel or Christianity in our day without using the word righteous. 

But what if it is a mistranslation of a Greek word? That’s what Tobie van der Westhuizen from Bloemfontein, South Africa had concluded after eight years of study. The more I read, the more convinced I became that he was on to something. His research could have profound implications in what the Reformation left incomplete. With his permission, I share a bit of it here. 

How did he come to such a conclusion? Part of it was by reading Plato’s Republic in Greek. More than three hundred-and-fifty-times Plato uses the word our Bibles translate as righteousness. But reading Plato’s book with that in mind, it made no sense. Then he found English translations of that text that used ‘just’ and ‘justice’ instead of ‘righteous’ and righteousness’. Except for a few exceptions, only in the Bible is this word translated as ‘righteousness.’ 

Tobie began to read the Scriptures substituting the word ‘justice’ and ‘just’ for ‘righteousness’ and ‘righteous’, and it made much more sense. As I read the Scriptures that way, I realized God’s love had already won me into that reality even though I hadn’t had this language for it. We are currently airing some of my conversations with Tobie on my podcast at TheGodJourney.com. 

Any Bible scholar will tell you that righteousness and justice are related words, and most Greek dictionaries use justice as one of its definitions. However, justice offers a wider lens than our popular ideas about righteousness. Whatever you love about God’s righteousness is already inside justice, though justice expands it to include how we treat others. That’s why Jesus could say that love will fulfill the whole law. You can’t lie about or steal from someone you love. 

To most people, righteousness speaks of sinlessness, personal piety and devotion. Focusing on those things is a valuable tool for the religion we’ve sculpted around Christianity, but it puts people on the religious treadmill, striving for something they can never attain. It keeps them guilty and in fear, and thus much easier to manipulate. The only way to survive guilt is to take Martin Luther’s tack that our righteousness is imputed in Christ. Thus, we are declared righteous, no matter how we live. It allows people to live under a perpetual immunity at an abstract level, while still captive to darkness of their flesh. 

 

God’s Kind of Justice

 

That’s why people focused on righteousness never experience the life of God growing inside them. Jesus’s kingdom was not about a declaration; it was about a transformation. If God is focused on justice in an unjust world, it changes the emphasis throughout Scripture. Jesus’s new command to love one another as we are loved by him makes more sense. Instead of being focused on our personal piety, the gospel becomes relational—experiencing his love for us and sharing it with others. 

If you’re equating God’s justice with human justice, you’ll still misunderstand my point. Many think of justice as a legal proceeding often wrapped in vengeance—people getting what they deserve. But God’s justice is not about law at all, and no law could ever bring it about, even his own. God’s justice is laced with love, forgiveness, and mercy as he is more interested in setting things right by resolving our injustices through love. 

Think less about legal systems and more about the power of a just man or just woman living in the earth. I like to think of the “justness” of God—always for what is true, right, and fair, but in a context of mercy and grace. The outworking of forgiveness is not amnesty or immunity, but the opportunity to make right what damage we have caused another. That’s why God’s justice could never come through a system of law one can fulfill by checking the boxes. 

Take three verses for example, substituting justice for righteousness: 

  • Matthew 5:20-21 – For I tell you that unless your justice surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven…
  • Matthew 6:33 – Seek first the kingdom of God and his justice and all these things will be added to you.” 
  • Romans 1:17 For in the gospel the justice of God is revealed—a justice that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The just will live by faith.” 

Do you see how the emphasis changes? As our hearts are shaped by his love, we find ourselves empathetic for others instead of using them to our benefit. That’s why Jesus said that doing to others what we would have them do to us would fulfill all the law and the prophets. This is how we participate in God’s justice—putting ourselves in the place of the other and treating them the way we would want to be treated if you were them. We all hate being treated unfairly but so easily miss when we do it to others. 

Of course, our preoccupation with justice can be just as much a distraction as a quest for righteousness, especially when we do it by our own effort. God’s justice flows out of a heart won into his love. Thus, our passion for God’s kind of justness fulfills itself in growing closer to him, not trying to act better. So, we seek justice by reveling in his love and watching it flow out of us to others. In the end, our preoccupation is with the Father, Son, and Spirit from whom all love and justice flow. Only by seeing how God sets things right in us with his love can we joyfully share that mercy, wisdom, and grace with others. 

In the end, it’s all about love. Give up thinking you can earn God’s, or that your struggles with sin negate it. God’s love is not something we attain; it’s a reality we relax into. It is the very essence of the Gospel itself. That’s why Paul wrote: “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” Galatians 5:6. 

All other preoccupations are decoys, and religion has given us many. When we focus on personal piety, missions, pleasing a religious leader, or our calling in the world, or even how the church should function, we lose sight of the Head. All those things are simply the fruit of a life of growing trust in God’s love that manifests itself in caring for others. 

Leo, I know this is going to sound strange, but if you are seeking to find the essence of godliness, don’t focus on righteousness or trying to abstain from sin. It won’t lead you to God or his life. What will do that is your awareness of his magnificence and discovering how deeply he loves you.

If our forebears had understood that, they would not have wasted all the time, money, and effort creating religious systems to try to manage people. Our focus on love would have engaged the world even more than our arrogant piety alienated them. Imagine a world where everyone is treated fairly and one that champions mercy above sacrifice. Is it possible in this fallen world? I hope so, but it is possible for me and you to do it in our corner of the world. Our wisdom and generosity can make up for the injustice others have suffered, as is true of God for us. 

 

Making Disciples

 

Wouldn’t this completely alter the way we try to make disciples? By focusing primarily on theological knowledge, disciplines, or sinlessness, religion draws us back to the Law, even if cloaked as “New Testament principles.” Conversion, according to Tobie is not believing the right set of doctrines; it is an engagement with love that converts us from slavery to our narcissistic flesh to an others-focused life of love and mercy. 

Thus, the kingdom Jesus envisioned is not an enclave of like-minded religious thinkers cloistered away from the world while holding fast to doctrines and rituals for comfort. He saw a growing company of just men and just women who would embody his love in the world, living as ambassadors of God’s kingdom in a world gone mad. 

What would discipleship look like then? It would most certainly be less about disciplines, rituals, checklists, and accountability to stop from sinning. It would mean coaching people to recognize and yield to the revelation of Jesus’s love in their own hearts and how to embrace that love as it renews their mind. Then it would encourage them to discover how to share that love freely with people they encounter. And where we struggle, we know that God’s love has still more to teach us. 

That’s it. It may be hard to believe but engaging that kind of love will change your life, freeing you to live inside God’s nature. You’ll discover the Scriptures are a valuable resource to help you know him, learn to engage God in prayer, and discover the conversations of community that will nurture our journey, but you will learn it relationally, not just as an obligation. 

That’s where you will find the connection you seek, Leo. Learning how to participate in his love will accomplish all that the law and prophets were meant to do, and it will happen where it does not depend on human effort. Slowly, you will find yourself living differently in the world because this love will change you at your core. It’s not an excuse to hide your dishonest and selfish ways but will increase our empathy for others so that we can no longer use them for our benefit or watch them suffer unjustly. That’s how love and grace will teach you to say no to fear, selfish ambition, and vain conceit. 

Then you can embody his kingdom in the world by living out easily and freely what Hosea said God wanted.  

And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8) 

Let love teach you the power of living justly, the wonder of sharing mercy, and the gentleness of walking humbly, just as God does with you. There is no greater joy than discovering that freedom and no greater purpose than being a light for justice and fairness in a world desperately craving for both. When the end of days comes upon us, those are the people who will bear his light and love in the darkness.

 

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You can access previous chapters here.  Stay Tuned for Chapter 11.

Chapter 10: Only One Thing Matters Read More »

The Prayers of a Just Person

5 Comments / Encouragement / / , , ,

Most of you will be familiar with James 5:16, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

What springs to mind when you think of this Scripture? Doesn’t it seem that our sinlessness is a pre-condition to having an effective prayer life? But that doesn’t make any sense if the process of transforming us is a lifetime adventure.

What if it said instead, “The prayer of a just person is powerful and effective.” If so, it is no longer about how good I’ve been but whether or not my heart is united with God’s purpose to restore justice on the earth. In other words, am I just praying for myself, or are my prayers inclusive of the needs of others? Am I praying for my benefit at someone else’s expense or in an attempt to co-opt their will?

If you’re following this blog or the series of podcasts titled This Changes Everything at the God Journey, you know I’ve been drawing down a rabbit hole of biblical proportions. A newfound friend from South Africa, Tobie van der Westhuizen, sent me some of his research on how the word ‘righteousness’ does not appear in Scripture. Oh, it’s in our English translation, but he argues it’s a mistranslation. The Greek word is ‘justice’ or ‘justness.’ By focusing that word on personal piety, devotion, and discipline instead, we gutted the gospel of its purpose. God didn’t want to just declare us “righteous” in Christ but to populate the world with a company of just men and women who have been converted from the narcissism of self to the joy of others-focused loving.

Sara and I have been taking this thought for a test drive in our Bible reading together. What a difference it makes if he is right, and I am quickly becoming settled that he is. This verse from James has begun to reshape my prayer life with a different tone as I think more about his justice and purpose. Why would our prayers be more effective there? Because they wouldn’t be tainted by your personal comfort or privilege but looking out for others as well. That’s where you’ll sense his heart better and engage him inside his larger purpose for all humanity.

That’s what God’s love does when it takes residence in our hearts. By filling us with the life of God, we don’t have to draw life from other people or manipulate circumstances for our survival, but to embrace kindness, fairness, justness, and generosity. Could that be what it means when Jesus wanted to justify us? He didn’t just want to declare us righteous; he wanted to transform us and make us the kind of men and women who can influence the world through the power of love. And that’s the only way this works—we experience love, then live out of that love to others. This is where the fullness of life in Christ exists in the flow of his love to us and through us.

This Saturday, we are hosting a God Journey After-Show with Tobie so others can ask questions about this. It will stream live on The God Journey Facebook page at 11:00 am Pacific Daylight Time and be available afterward for those who want to hear it. If you’d like to participate in the Zoom room conversation, please email Wayne in advance to get the link. The room is getting pretty full, so I’m sure not everyone will get their questions in, but we can use it as a beginning.

Finally, we are nearing our goal of completing work on rescuing the orphanage we built fifteen years ago from torrential rains. In the photo at left, a government inspector checks the repairs already made and is pleased with the progress.

Thanks to all who have generously contributed to this project. We still need a few thousand more if this is on your heart. If you can help us, please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. As always, every dollar you send goes directly to Kenya. We do not take out any administration or transfer fees for Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the options or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can also Venmo contributions to “@LifestreamMinistries” or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Let’s see if we can find the full amount they need.  Thank you for your consideration.

The Prayers of a Just Person Read More »

Oops again!

Behind the Scenes /

I am really embarrassed to say that the God Journey After-Show we had scheduled with Tobie van der Westhuizen from South Africa next weekend has had to be delayed another week. He informed me yesterday that he had an irresolvable scheduling conflict that would prevent him from joining us that day. He was profoundly sorry and asked if we could move the session to September 28.

I know. That does seem a long way off, but it will give you three more podcasts exploring my conversation with him.

Tobie is our current guest at The God Journey in a series of podcasts exploring the idea that a mistranslation in our English Bibles replaced the word for justice with the word righteousness and, by doing so, has obscured the nature of a love-based Gospel and how the kingdom of God becomes visible in the world.  If you’re not up-to-date on this conversation, please see my blog on September 5 and the podcast series that began on September 5.  We had planned to meet with Tobie in a live Zoom chat next Saturday, September 21.

So, now the After-Show with Tobie will be held on September 28, 2024. It will stream live on The God Journey Facebook page at 11:00 am Pacific Daylight Time and be available afterward for those who want to hear it. If you’d like to participate in the Zoom room conversation, please email Wayne in advance to get the link. I’ve sent an updated link for those who have already emailed me, but the one previously sent will work as well.

I’m sorry to do this to you, but perhaps such things remind us all that flexibility is a helpful tool to navigate the shifting circumstances that affect our lives. I’m looking forward to seeing many of you on the 28th.

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As to Kenya, we sent another $10,250.00 to complete work on rescuing the orphanage buildings and grounds and need an additional $6,000.00. Every little bit helps us get to our goal.  If you can help us, please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. As always, every dollar you send goes directly to Kenya. We do not take out any administration or transfer fees for Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the options or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can also Venmo contributions to “@LifestreamMinistries” or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

Oops again! Read More »

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