Search Results for: Friends and friends of friends

Friends and Friends of Friends - Living in the Relational Church - Part 11

Friends and Friends of Friends: Living in the Relational Church – Part 11

Living Loved, Living Loved Newsletter / /

By Wayne Jacobsen
BodyLife • September 2007

Since I first wrote The Naked Church twenty years ago now, I have searched for a definition of the church that encompasses her majesty and yet explains in simplicity who she is and how she functions in the world. At first I thought that could be answered in structural ways as I moved from the mechanics of large institutions into more relational structures, like cell groups, home groups, and house churches.

But it didn’t work out that way, for which I am incredibly grateful. Defining the church structurally has two problems. First, the life of the church is found in the affection and cooperation of people who are living in Christ. No structure guarantees that reality. In fact, smaller groups who practice performance-based religion are even more dangerous than larger ones who do. Second, these definitions were inherently divisive – excluding brothers and sisters who met in different structures and inculcating a false sense of superiority in those who think they have finally recaptured ‘the secret’ of New Testament church life.

All the while, my relationships never reflected the reality of the definition for which I groped. I had close fellowship with brothers and sisters who gathered in a variety of expressions, all the way from large institutional gatherings to those who just live relationally alongside others. I wanted a definition that transcends all the structural ways we tend to see church.

This summer, however, I stumbled upon a definition that expresses the life of the church better than any I’ve yet run across. It crystallized in my thinking at a worldwide gathering of believers this summer and it has grown on me more ever since. Its application to a variety of settings seems to bear witness to its clarity as well as practicality. What is that definition? Simply I am coming to see the beauty of the church of Jesus Christ emerge in this day as “friends, and friends of friends.”

Now, I realize that needs a bit of explanation, so let me try.

An Example In Ireland

Those who read my blog or listen to The God Journey know I was part of an incredible gathering of believers this past June in Ireland. It was hosted by a number of people who have been living relationally around Dublin for almost 30 years. They were in the midst of forming a congregation in the 80s when God made it clear he hadn’t asked them to do so. They stopped meeting regularly, but continued to share the life of Jesus together as friends living alongside each other. They rarely all get together for a meeting, though it would also be rare if on any given day a number of them weren’t together in one way or another – sharing their journeys and helping each other.

This summer God brought together people from all over the world who are learning to live relationally in his family for a week of sharing life. People came from 10 different countries including Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, the United States and other countries in Europe. Most of those who came did not know each other beforehand, and many had never even been to Ireland before.

We spent the week together, beginning with a picnic on a Sunday in a field and ended in the same field the following Saturday with a barbecue. Nothing was planned beyond the meal for both of those occasions and the rest of the week we did not gather as a large group except to take a bus tour of that part of Ireland. But throughout the week in various homes and other venues pockets of people got together for meals, recreation, and conversation. By the end of the week we were blown away by all Father had accomplished without planning or scheduling any ‘ministry’ times. Friendships blossomed, deep issues discussed, insights shared and questions answered. We prayed together, cried together, and laughed together all the while watching Jesus emerge among us. Significant time was spent helping individuals through rough spots on the road through prayer and counsel. Friends and friends of friends could be together for a week and Jesus could accomplish all he wanted through that simple reality.

Most of those who gathered during this week, I had previously met in my travels. Watching friends of mine meet and enjoy other friends of mine was an absolute delight. I was blessed at how simply a web of connections expanded to encompass other people and how so many reported that they had time with were just the people they needed to know and could already see ways God might connect them in the future.

At one level, none of this surprised me. Most of my life is spent with friends and friends of friends that the Spirit is knitting together. I had similar times this summer in smaller groups whether it was on the beach at Lake Tahoe, in an old fellowship hall in Stratford, Ontario, or in a home in Naarden in the Netherlands. So many of the tasks Jesus asks me to do these days couldn’t be done without a network of other people, each supplying their part. My life has become an endless sea of relationships, some long-term, others just for a season. But I am convinced that the environment of growing friendships is where family flourishes, not in the rigid routine of an institution.

What amazed me in Ireland was that these same dynamics were visible on a larger scale with such diverse people. This is where I have been told it cannot work. People say friendships are fine for getting together locally, but it will not allow the body of Christ to function on a global scale. They are wrong. I’m convinced it’s the only way it can function globally. Institutions constantly fight over control, doctrine and money. But where Jesus builds friendships there is no end to the assets and resources he can bring together to accomplish his purpose. Nothing is wasted in political struggles or maintaining machinery. All the dynamics of body life in the New Testament apply better in growing friendships than they do in all our attempts at group building.

Jesus-Style Friendships

I know of no managed system large or small that can guarantee real community will emerge when it is implemented. Body life does not grow out of any management system, but out of the quality of a growing friendship with Jesus, linked together by people sharing that friendship with others. Even if you are part of a large institution, your quality of life in it will be found far more in the friendships you cultivate and how they stimulate you to live more deeply in Christ, than anything the corporate meeting alone can produce. Read the Gospels again and you will see just how much of Jesus’ mission was fulfilled in simple friendships, whether he was befriending weary fishermen returning in an empty boat, a greedy tax collector over lunch, or Mary, Martha and Lazarus in Bethany. He was persistently accused of being the friend of sinners, and enjoying their company. At the end of his life, he clearly stated to those early disciples that what he wanted from them was not the obedience of slaves, but the affection of friends (John 15:15).

Perhaps friendships may sound like too casual a word to describe the wonder of our connections to him and to each other, but that’s only because we look at friendship in human terms. Most friendships are built on a delicate balance of mutual benefit. As long as people provide something for us, we consider them friends. When they no longer do so, we move on. Because of that most of us have only known very shallow friendships that can be as fickle as the weather. And too many of us have tasted the bitter pain of betrayal when a good friend decides they have more to gain by leaving us out.

Thus, many of us shy away from deep friendships thinking we can protect ourselves from future disappointments. That is why we find it easier to trust the managed relationships of institutions than to risk the spontaneity of real and growing friendships. But that is to our loss.

Friendships as Jesus viewed them were not the what-can-I-get-out-of-you style of relationship, but the willingness to lay down our life for someone else. Until you know how he does that for you, you will never know how to do it for others. But once you’ve tasted it in him, you can’t wait to give it away.

That’s why real friendships don’t grow out of institutional rules and guidelines, but out of people connecting in a real way with Jesus and then with others. As we grow in the freedom of not needing to exploit others or be exploited by them we can begin to taste what real friendships are all about. These friendships are the building blocks of the New Testament community.

This is the kind of friendship I have shared with those who gathered in Ireland and the friendship that grew between others that week. I am convinced that this is how the bride takes shape in the world as the Spirit connects the body through affectionate and caring friendships. Friends and friends of friends, living, sharing and tasking alongside each other as each contributes what the Lord gives them. This is our engagement with the Body of Christ and will open the door to all the ways in which Jesus wants us to share his life together.

Growing Friendships

Obviously joining a group and becoming part of a growing circle of friends are two very different things. Most of us only know the former and the latter can seem threatening at first because there isn’t any place you can go to sign up for a real friendship. We can’t orchestrate them. They emerge as we recognize and invest time in those Father is asking us to walk alongside in a given season. Thus they begin the only place they can begin, not with others but with him!

First, learn to be friends with Jesus. He is the only source of life. Body life is the fruit of our walk with him not the means to gain it. Let your relationship with him grow. If you don’t know others with a similar passion, just lean in close to him and keep your eyes open. He may want you to himself for a time so that you will only be dependent on him. Eventually he will connect you with others.

Second, pursue friendships with those God puts in your path. The building blocks of body life are not found in groups, believe it or not. Jesus specifically pointed to the value of twos and threes coming together in him. Small conversations are where we truly get to know each other and recognize the life of Jesus in one other. Sitting in a meeting won’t do that. I’ve even been to home groups that have been meeting for prayer and Bible study for over 20 years who are not friends. They claimed to be the church, but there was no affection among them and no understanding of what it means to share life together. They were just committed to their weekly meetings.

Find ways to share a meal, an evening or an outing together. When you cross paths in a store don’t rush on with your day. Hang back if only for a moment and enjoy each other’s company. Relationships grow best in small conversations. Trying to form groups is a poor substitute for that, and often a structured way of trying to build friendships unwittingly subverts the process itself. Friendships flourish only in real conversations where people are growing to know and care about each other under Father’s love.

Now, watch the connections grow. Out of these twos and threes a marvelous network of friendships will emerge. As some of my friends get to know other of my friends the body takes shape around me. This web of interconnected friendships offers unlimited possibilities as to the ways the Spirit might connect us and show them how to cooperate together in doing what he asks. Gatherings of various groups will take shape, not because they are trying to have a New Testament meeting, but because they want to learn together, work together or in some other way express God’s work in the world. People who live like this learn to value every connection God gives them.

Those who played a part in facilitating what happened in Ireland and other places I go are those who have invested years in growing friendships. They aren’t trying to manage groups or form structured networks, but have simply let Jesus connect them to others and made time for those friendships to grow. And they have generously shared those friendships with their other friends.

That’s how the church takes shape locally, regionally and globally. I love seeing some of my dear friends become friends themselves. When I was in the U.K. this summer, I met a young couple that had just immigrated to the UK from South Africa. They knew a couple I’d spent some time with when I was there, who in turn knew an elderly couple living near them outside London. That couple connected them with some friends hosting my visit this summer. They came down to join us the weekend I was there. A week later I found myself sitting in Ireland with the couple from South Africa who started it all and the couple from London that passed it on. What a fun family – friends and friends of friends finding fellowship and life together, helping each other on the journey.

Do you hear the clicking of the Spirit’s needles as he knits the family together?

The Wider Family

What a joy it is to watch the church take shape not as the result of the vision of some man, or group of people scheming to create an organization to contain it, but seeing it as a reality than transcends all of our attempts to control it. Thus the church takes expression through millions of simple acts of friendship in response to Jesus’ leading and the wonderful fruit that flows from doing so. No human could ever control it and in the end there is no all-encompassing institution to be managed, financed, fought over or divided.

Expressions of the wider family are in his hands alone as we respond to him. That’s the church he is building. It permeates everything and ever place and no matter how we gather in groups with other believers, those moments of twos and threes, and eight and tens are the most important. It is where relationships grow, where people truly share their journey, and where we’ll find ways to do together what he might ask of us

As I sat in Ireland I couldn’t help but wonder how many other pools of interconnected friendships fill our globe. How easy it is for the Spirit to connect them when he is ready. Only two people have to cross paths for separate bits of the family to find each other. It is such joy to meet people who have no desire to manage God’s working – to pressure others with their pet doctrines or need to organize them for any desired outcome (or income). Living loved and sharing that love is really more than enough to give expression to this incredible family. Isn’t that what Jesus told us? (John 13:34-35)

A Fruitful Life Together

Seeing the family as an ever-expanding fellowship of friends, and friends of friends helps see the church as she really is. It also allows us to appreciate the organic growth that happens through friendship, rather than the imposition of any structured model that forces people into friendships that haven’t grown naturally and most likely won’t grow in that environment either. This view fulfills so much of what the New Testament teaches and demonstrates about the life of the church.

It keeps the focus on relationship. Instead of trying to build a corporate life on doctrine, programs, rituals or structures, people are focused on their friendship with Jesus and finding others who share that same friendship. The more your friendships grow the more involvement you have in the family. And those that have a hard time connecting relationally, can be befriended and helped by those who have found freedom to do so.

It is not meeting-focused, but relationally lived. Sharing life in the body of Christ does not happen by attending a meeting, but by growing in friendship with Jesus and our spiritual siblings. Of course the body will get together in a variety of ways as it celebrates those friendships. But it will do so as people want to be together with a specific purpose in mind, not just to follow an artificial routine. Until then our focus can be where Jesus put it – on connections of twos and threes as our friendships grow. And when our gatherings happen out of friendship they won’t be a static program put on by a few to entertain the others. lsbl.sept

It answers the dilemma of how much structure we need. We won’t want structures to attempt to manage friendships, because that will only prevent people from dealing with their differences and growing in the process. The structures we can embrace are those that facilitate what God is doing among a specific group for a specific season. We won’t need to start ministries or perpetuate groups for their own sake, but simply learn how to care about each other, stimulate each other to grow in him and do together whatever he asks us to do.

It resolves conflict without the appeal to power. Institutions have to provide clear decision-making authority, creating an environment based on who holds the power to make decisions others have to follow. Friends sort out conflicts not by deciding who is in charge, but through honesty and openness looking for God’s highest good and no one assuming they will know that for others. But a connection of relationships in agreement will have far more meaningful impact on others than any council making rules.

It can give proper place to the weaker believer. One of the Scriptures that always bothered me as a manager of an institution was Romans 14-15 where Paul talks about the stronger giving way to the weaker. There is absolutely no application of that in an institutional setting. Instead the stronger must take control over the weaker or chaos will result. In a family of relationships, however, those weaker in faith can be loved, extended the grace to be where they are in the journey and encouraged to move on to greater freedom, all in the context of friendship.

It allows leaders to truly be servants, helping others to grow rather than maintaining machinery. It also prevents those who are immature from aspiring to false leadership while hiding behind their personal charisma, eloquence or intellectual knowledge as a way to lord over others. True elders will simply be those a bit further down the road helping others find friendships as well.

It allows for wider connections, both in meeting new people and cooperating together in various efforts. When we think of the church as a specific institution who share a specific location, ritual or doctrine, we cut ourselves off from other relationships that God might want to arrange for interconnecting his family or touching the world.

The Power of Connections

I’ve been blessed over the last few years to be part of some amazing connections with individuals and networks of friends that God brought together for a specific season. The Ireland gathering was like that. It was a specific event whose ongoing fruit will only be measued by the friendships it produced. Almost everything I do now brings together friends in Christ each doing their part and results in something far more wonderful than any of us could accomplish alone. Perhaps the most amazing has been my experience with a new book a friend of mine wrote.

After unsuccessfully approaching on his behalf a number of publishers to print The Shack, we finally concluded that this was something God wanted us to do together. When we started pursing that direction we had so many missing pieces. But over the days and weeks, through friends and friends of friends we connected with people who could help us put it together.

Our biggest concern was how to get it out as broadly as we thought God wanted. Imagine our shock at selling out the first printing of 11,000 copies within four months of putting it on a web site, and talking to our friends about it. As friends passed it on to their friends the book just took off. Without one advertisement and without being in any bookstore, it spread like wildfire. Today some influential members of the national media have it in hand and the stories of how it has touched lives – especially those who have suffered great tragedy – continue to melt our hearts. We have been contacted by major book chains and distributors that we had no access to when we began. And we have turned down two top-tier Christian publishers who had rejected the book a year ago and now wanted to take it over.

I could tell you so many more stories of the simple joy and fruitfulness of people connecting with each other. Almost every where I travel now one of the great results is people who live in the same area who didn’t know each other before, get to meet each other. I get email long after I’ve returned home of the friendships that have grown and how people can now walk alongside some others as Jesus directs.

I could tell you of people in foreign countries living a life of expanding friendships that is giving great testimony to the reality of Jesus in the most brutal circumstances by simply loving and forgiving as they have found it in him. I do believe this is what he meant when he said the world would come to know him by the love we share one for another.

If you want to be part of that, just remember, the joy of living as friends, and friends of friends, does not come out of a desperate attempt to find friends for yourself, but by simply being a friend to whomever Father allows to cross your path. No, you cannot befriend everyone, but you can take the time to invest in those Jesus asks you to, whether they be a believer yet or not. And when you take the risk to cultivate that friendship, you’ll never know where it might lead.

Living Loved is published periodically by Lifestream Ministries and is sent free of charge to anyone who requests it. For those with email we recommend our web-based version so that we can hold down costs and get it to you much more quickly. This is especially important for international subscribers.

© Copyright 2013 Lifestream Ministries

Permission is hereby granted to anyone wishing to make copies for free distribution.

DOWNLOAD VERSION: PDF (115 KB)

Previous Issue of Living Loved                 Next Issue of Living Loved

Articles in Chronological Order | Articles by Content

Friends and Friends of Friends: Living in the Relational Church – Part 11 Read More »

More Friends, and Friends of Friends

Uncategorized /

I love how Father intersects people. Just a few moments ago I received this from a man named Sam, with whom I’ve corresponded in the past. He’s preparing to leave for Uganda to help with the thousands of Kenyans fleeing the country into Uganda. Here’s what he wrote:

I wanted to let you know that I am about to leave for Jinja, Uganda. The situation in Kenya is already affecting Uganda with thousands crossing over into Uganda. Food and fuel has doubled in less than a few days in Uganda. A pastor friend of mine in Mombassa says that food and water are becoming scarce. The stability of Kenya has grave impact on most of eastern Africa. I would ask that you pray for me and our team already in Uganda. I will be teaching young pastors and businessmen on forgiveness and on various relationship issues. I am going with an organization called Next Generation Ministries whose emphasis is on relationships.

I am certain while I am there I will be able to meet some the Kenyans and I will give you a report if you like. Many organizations like yours are sending money and aid which is greatly needed. This situation appears to be such that unless God intervenes Kenya and much of eastern Africa could be devastated. It is times like these that I wonder about how effective we have been at communicating the real gospel. I am re-reading you book He Loves Me and I hope I can communicate His love as well as you do in the book. At 55 years old and 30 years in ministry, I am just now beginning to walk in his presence and feel his love. Thank you for who you are and your work.

More opportunities to pray and perhaps another door to get some funds on the field where they will most impact our brothers and sisters….

More Friends, and Friends of Friends Read More »

Friends, and Friends of Friends (continued)

6 Comments / Uncategorized /

I appreciate the way the Internet allows people to interact with things I write. Others add some great observations to this process. I’ve received some emails since the release of the new BodyLife and its lead article about Friends and Friends of Friends. It’s interesting that these both focused on fear and control as the reason we won’t trust Jesus to connect us the way he always desired to do.

This came from a long-time friend that has continued to look in a number of places to find some form of effective church life in a number of institutions:

I don’t know where to begin….was so impressed by what you had to say in the new newsletter. I have struggled with this issue for years and like you it was in front of us the whole time. Can’t tell you what a release I felt (and my wife as well). It is so hard to move away from the institution and the hold it can have on you. I recently watched a documentary on the Catholic Church in its attempts to deal with the sexuality of both male and female clergy, and the conclusion was simply that it was all done and justified on the basis of control, no matter what and that it will never change. It almost appears that the institution will do anything to keep people from fellowship with Jesus and with one another because of its fear of losing control even though lives will be destroyed. I can’t thank you enough for taking such a courageous stand.

And this came from a newer friend who has only recently left the institutional he served in for years. He was recently invited back to attend a ‘Defending the Faith’ class so he would know better how to “evangelize” young believers.

Why can’t we love people well enough that we just share our life with them in relationship instead of treating them as a project for coercion? You know why? It is because of fear. We are afraid we won’t know what to say. We are afraid that our not having an answer to their question will render them to eternal damnation. We are afraid we will say something wrong which make them walk away from Christ and they won’t ever pass that way again. We are afraid that a lot of their salvation is based on what I do.

But perfect love cast out all fear. If it really was about loving the people that Father puts in front of us each day, there is no fear of what to say, or what the results will be. I feel for those coercion projects that will soon be the victims of a new group of graduates from the “Defending the Faith” class. But then Father can make good of that too.

it’s amazing what Father uses. It really is! I’m grateful for how many times he’s used my immature ramblings to touch someone’s life and draw them closer to him. But like many of you, I’d much prefer Jesus flow out of my life because of how I’m responding to him, not in spite of it.

Friends, and Friends of Friends (continued) Read More »

Free of Shame and Full of Love

1 Comment / Behind the Scenes / / , , , , , , ,

Due to the fact that Sara and I will be leaving soon, we’re doubling-up on our study of He Loves Me. This weekend we’ll be tackling two more chapters. Chapter 20 is about living free from shame in our relationship to the Father though Jesus’s work on the cross.  Chapter 21 is about swimming in the river of love, and how when we are loved well by God, we will love well in the world.

These two freedoms lie at the heart of living loved and will change how you naturally live in the world. Can you imagine living in this kind of freedom without forcing yourself?

You will soon find that your security in God’s love and your awareness of his unlimited patience with you will redefine the other relationships in your life.

Instead of demanding that others conform to what you think is right, you will find yourself letting others have their own journey. By no longer manipulating them to what you think is best you can allow them the same freedom God gives you. You will let them choose their own course based on nothing but the clarity of truth as they understand it and the willingness of their conscience. It is the task of the Holy Spirit to convict, not yours.

Instead of despising people who are broken by sin you will be touched by the depth of bondage that holds them captive. You will also see better how the Father responds to them and then know how you can as well. Sometimes that means you’ll stand back and let the consequences of sin take their course as the father did with his prodigal son. At other times it means you’ll jump into the mess with them and help them find God’s way out.

Instead of saying what you think people want to hear, you’ll look for ways to be gently honest with them. Human love seeks people’s comfort at the expense of truth. God’s love seeks people’s comfort in the midst of truth. He doesn’t avoid the difficult moment or hold his peace just to be nice. As you experience that in your own relationship with him you’ll find yourself unable to be disingenuous with people.

Finally, by looking to God as the resource for your needs you will find yourself not overloading your friendships with expectations that are easily disappointed. By vesting all of our hope in God’s ability to meet our needs we will not need to force our friends to do it. I know God will often use other believers to extend his gifts and graces to me, but now I also know I don’t get to choose the vessel he uses. In other words, I always look for how God is revealing himself to me through other believers, but I don’t trick myself into thinking it has to come from the specific person I want him to use.

Disappointed expectations destroy relationships because we look to others in ways God wants us to look to him. Such expectations set us up for enduring frustration. However, when we give up our expectations of people, we’ll find God uses some of the most unlikely people to lend us a hand. Our frustration will yield to gratefulness however, whenever, and through whomever God uses others to touch us or us to touch others.

We’ll be talking about all of this at our next gathering of the He Loves Me Book Club, which will meet this Saturday, March 23, at 11:00 am Pacific Daylight Time.  This is two hours earlier than previously announced because of a schedule conflict. I apologize for the inconvenience.

We will be focusing on chapters 20 and 21. This is our second-to-the last gathering but even if you have not joined us before, you’re welcome to join us tomorrow and process how you can live more freely in love as well.

If you want to join us in this Zoom conversation, you can get details and the link by liking the Facebook Group Page, or if you are not a member of Facebook, you can write me for a link to be sent each time we meet. For those who just want to watch, we stream them live now on my Lifestream Ministry Page, since a new glitch in Zoom is not allowing us to post them to my Facebook Author Page. I will, however, post it to the Author Page once the conversation has concluded. You will be able to view it there along with  all the previous discussions we’ve had about He Loves Me.

Free of Shame and Full of Love Read More »

To the Eclipse and Beyond . . .

3 Comments / Behind the Scenes /

Sara and I will soon be packing up the RV and heading out again with our two dogs—the first trip for our new puppy.

The total solar eclipse on April 8 is the catalyst for this trip. I saw one in 2017 with my son in Wyoming as I was helping him move to Denver. It was one of the most moving experiences I’ve had in nature and promised to get Sara to this one, since it is the last one in the U.S. in our lifetime. A favorite author of mine, Anne Dillard wrote a piece about an eclipse she witnessed years ago, and in it she captures the feelings I had myself.  She wrote, “Seeing a partial eclipse bears the same relation to seeing a total eclipse as kissing a man does to marrying him.” There’s nothing like that moment when the sun seems to go out. The stars appear; the earth cools; the birds go silent. It is surreal in its truest sense, and I can’t wait to get Sara to this one.

We’ll be heading south from here, through the southern end of Arizona and New Mexico in the first part of April, finally settling around Wimberley, TX for ten days. We will also be meeting with friends in that area and perhaps some from San Antonio.  From there, it looks like we’re going to make our way to eastern Mississippi along the gulf coast.  If you’re along that route somewhere and want to pull some people together, please let me know.

We’re not sure where we go from there; it will depend on where the Spirit blows us, where the early spring weather will allow us to go, and where there is hunger for us to visit. This is what travel looks like for me now. I spent many years mostly flying alone all over the world to meet wherever hungry hearts invited me for some conversation about living loved, finding the Church Jesus is building, and sharing life together. I usually stayed in people’s homes and enjoyed so much the connections God gave us. But now, since we are now dealing with the aftermath of Sara’s trauma, she likes me to be alongside her in the nighttime hours. So, we go together now, which allows Sara to be a part of it all as well as have some private space to process her journey. This has allowed us to have some amazing conversations with people in homes, restaurants, and parks as we explore the life of Jesus together.

So, if something is on your heart about touching base with us on this trip or a future one if we’re not coming near you, please let me know. For those who have done that for our previous trips, there is no need to, as we keep those on file in case we find ourselves in your area.  We look forward to seeing what God might have in mind for us on this, our third RV trip.   And if you just want to know if we happen to be having a gathering in your locale, you can sign up for my Travel List. Sign up here and make sure to include your physical address so we can contact you if we’re going to be nearby.

And for people we are not traveling near, I also do a lot of Zoom conversations to help small groups (or large ones) process their journeys of living inside Father’s affection, answer questions from my books or podcast, or help in any other way I can. All you have to do is ask, and then we can pray together and see what God might have in mind.

Lifestream Mobile

 

He Loves Me Book Club Meets this Saturday, March 2

We’ll continue our conversations about He Loves Me this weekend by delving into chapters 16 and 17 this weekend on Saturday, March 2 at 1:00 pm Pacific Standard Time.  We will be focusing on how the death of Christ gives us a basis for growing trust in the Father’s care and how we find freedom from religious performance so we can be transformed by his love.

If you want to join us in this Zoom conversation, you can get details and the link by liking the Facebook Group Page, or if you are not a member of Facebook, you can write me for a link to be sent each time we meet. For those who just want to watch, we stream them live now on my Lifestream Ministry Page, since a new glitch in Zoom is not allowing us to post them to my Facebook Author Page. I will, however, post it to the Author page once the conversation has ended. You can see it there as well as all the previous discussions we’ve had about He Loves Me.

 

Thank you on behalf of Kenya

Thanks to those of you who have given to help us restore an agricultural project there that was destroyed by brutal winds. It provided water and sustenance for an entire tribe in the region.  To date, we’ve taken in about $8500 of the $12,796 that we needed.

If you can help us raise this money, please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. As always, all of your contributions go directly to Kenya; we don’t take out any fees for administration or for transferring the funds. You can also Venmo contributions to “@LifestreamMinistries” or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774.

 

To the Eclipse and Beyond . . . Read More »

Misunderstanding the Atonement

2 Comments / Behind the Scenes / / , , , , , , ,

Today, Sara and I head off for some gatherings in San Diego this weekend. We are looking forward to what Father has there.  Let me leave you with this as we go:

One of the greatest misunderstandings people have of Scripture is that God needed a sacrifice to love us. Jesus came in his humanity to offer the sacrifice God wanted from us that we could never give. While that expresses some Old Testament thoughts about sacrifices it misses the larger through-line of Scripture. God was shifting humanity’s view of sacrifice. All of the false gods that humans created were angry, vindictive deities, needing to be appeased by sacrifice—gifts and offerings at first, but for many, eventual human sacrifice.

The message God gave to Abraham when he tried to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice was that God didn’t want or need our sacrifice. He would be the sacrifice we need to re-engage him as our trusted friend. Jesus didn’t die to satisfy something broken in God (e.g. his need for justice), but Jesus died to satisfy something broken in humanity (our shame in sin and our fear of him.)  This is how I wrote about it in He Loves Me.

At Mt. Moriah God foreshadowed to Abraham what he would literally accomplish some three thousand years later on another hill not far away, Golgotha. It would not be the act of appeasement to an angry God by any sacrifice we could give, but an act of a loving God to sacrifice himself for those who were held captive in sin.

Far from being a blood-thirsty sovereign demanding sacrifice to satiate his need for vengeance, the Living God spends himself to bring back the banished son or daughter. He did not need a sacrifice to love us, for he already did.

We needed a sacrifice for our shame so that we would be free to love him again. At the cross, God provided the undeniable proof of just how much he loves us. For those who understand that, it opens the door for us to do what Adam and Eve could not do that fateful day in the Garden—totally entrust our lives to the Living God.

If we misunderstand the atonement, we will spend our lives trying to keep God appeased by earning his favor with our effort. When we understand what Jesus accomplished on the cross, we will be safe with God even in our most broken moments and be able to explore what it means to live in his love. That’s how important it is that we see Jesus’ death for what it was.  It was to rescue and redeem us from the power of darkness and invite us into the warmth and tenderness of his life and love.

This is what the third section of He Loves Me is all about—the undeniable proof that we are loved by God and invited into a relationship with him of growing friendship.  It’s also the theme of Transition, a set of recordings designed to help people move from an appeasement-based view of God and the cross, to an affection-based one that will allow you to connect with the redemption Jesus wanted for you.

If you want to talk more about this, we will be doing so in our next meeting of The He Loves Me Book Club, which will convene on Saturday, February 3 at 1:00 pm Pacific Standard Time.  We will focus on Chapters 12 and 13. If you want to join us in this Zoom conversation, you can get details and the link by liking the Facebook Group Page, or if you are not a member of Facebook, you can write me for a link to be sent each time we meet. For those who just want to watch, we stream them live on my Facebook Author Page and leave the recording up after the conversation for others to hear. (You can find past ones by scrolling down on that page.)

Misunderstanding the Atonement Read More »

He Loves Me – Chapters 2 and 3

4 Comments / Behind the Scenes /

Don’t let the demands of legalistic Christianity blind you to the incredible friendship that a Loving Father and his Son want to have with you.

The friendship Jesus shared with his disciples was the model for the relationship he extends to you. He wants to be the voice that steers you through every situation, the peace that sets your troubled heart at rest, and the power that holds you up in the storm. He wants to be closer than your dearest friend and more faithful than any other person you’ve ever known.

I know it sounds preposterous. How can mere humans enjoy such a friendship with the almighty God who created with a word all we see? Do I dare think he would know and care about the details of my life? Isn’t it presumptuous even to imagine that this God would take delight in me, even though I still struggle with the failures of my flesh?

It would be so if this were not his idea. He’s the one who offered to be your loving Father- sharing life with you in ways no earthly father ever could.

Excerpt from Chapter 2 of He Loves Me

The next meeting of the He Loves Me Book Discussion will be this Saturday, September 9, at 10 a.m. Pacific Time. We will be covering Chapters 2 and 3. Bring your questions and observations…
You can find the link for this conversation on the Group Page on Facebook, or if you are not a member of Facebook, you can write me for a link.  The conversations are held and recorded on Zoom.
I am sorry that this is not a convenient time for those in Asia and Australia, but so far, we’ve had only one interested person from that part of the world. If there are more, please let me know, and we will hold a different conversation for that part of the world. 
If you can’t join us for the discussion, catch the conversation on the Wayne Jacobsen Author Page on Facebook. You can see a replay of our conversation about the Introduction and Chapter 1 here. 
Our RV Tour will take us to Golden Colorado next week if you’d like to join us for a Monday night evening conversation on September 11. You can find details here.

He Loves Me – Chapters 2 and 3 Read More »

Trauma Conversations and Book Clubs

1 Comment / Behind the Scenes /

Manipulative people detest when they lose their power over someone else. Manipulation is a game constantly played in human relationships. We often get caught in it because we love the people playing, and we don’t want to risk losing their friendship if we don’t keep them happy. Such a life, however, will not lead you to joy but to greater confusion and pain.

It is never easy to bear the brunt of someone else’s brokenness. Their use of anger and false accusations to manipulate others creates an environment where tender, gracious relationships get lost. For many, it’s a religious game. Thinking they know God’s best for you, they will stop at nothing to get you to please them or judge your salvation when you don’t. If they don’t come to see that, they will constantly up the ante until playing their game eventually begins to eat at your soul. You can go along with it for a season, hoping it’s just a temporary blind spot for them, but when they start gossiping about you or gaslighting you, you have to step away. Seeking a relationship of mutual respect and tenderness becomes impossible. That’s when you got to let Jesus lead you out of the game, even if it risks a relationship you hold dear.

We talked about that last week in our Jake Colsen Book Club. Chapter 8 of So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore lets Jake see how human relationships get easily twisted. Here are some excerpts from that chapter:

Just remember Jesus is not worried about tomorrow because he has already worked that out. He’s inviting you to live with him in the joy of the moment, responding to what he puts right before you.

The approval you felt then came from the same source as the shame you feel now. That’s why it hurts so much when you hear their rumors or watch old friends reject you. Truth be told, some of those people still really care about you. They just don’t know how to show it now that you no longer play on their team. They’re not bad people, Jake, just brothers and sisters lost in something that is not as godly as they think it is.

Now you know what that’s like from the other side and one of the big things Jesus is doing in you now is to free you from the game, so that you can live deeply in him rather than worrying about what everyone else thinks about you. As long as you need other people to understand you and to approve of what you’re doing, you are owned by anyone willing to lie about you.

Since Sara and I have had to stay a bit closer to home as she recovers from rotator-cuff surgery, we’ve been using Zoom to continue engaging with others worldwide through the Jake book discussions and the Wrestling with Trauma conversations. We will hold another Wrestling with Trauma conversation on Sunday, February 5, at 11:00 am PST. You’ll have to do the math to determine what that might be in your time zone. If you’d like to join us this week, please email me for the Zoom link. We’ll be limiting it to the first twelve who request a link, but don’t worry; we will schedule more such times. These are not teaching sessions, nor will they build on each other. Each will be a conversation to serve those who join us and help encourage them to the Way Jesus wants to lead them through the pain of trauma into his increasing freedom. These conversations are not streamed live or recorded. They are for the personal benefit of those who can join us. You can even join in anonymously if you prefer.

And for those interested in the next Jake Colsen Book Club, we will hold the next discussion of  So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore on Saturday, February 4, at 1:30 pm. We will move on to Chapter 8: Unplayable Lies, where we’ll explore how God wants to lead us out of the hard places some of our choices have put us in and, while doing so, teach us how to trust him and his wisdom. You can email me if you’d like a link for that. Anyone can join in; we only ask that you re-read that chapter so it’s fresh in your mind. You can also listen live (or afterward) as we stream it on my Wayne Jacobsen Author Page on Facebook.

If you’d like to listen to the previous conversations, here are the links to these videos:

Chapter 2 – A Walk in the Park
Chapter 5 – Love with a Hook

 

 

Trauma Conversations and Book Clubs Read More »

Thank You, from Forkland in Kenya

Kenya /

Let me offer my thanks and gratitude of our friends in Kenya for the recent rescue of three hundred abandoned children in the community of Forkland. We have supported a school there for over a decade because it provides education for students whose parents cannot afford it. Earlier this year, during a deep drought, hopeless and addicted parents could not provide for their children, and en mass abandoned them at the school.

The believers there were overwhelmed with the need and began to care for them. Over the ensuing months, we raised over $200,000 to feed, clothe, and build dormitories for them on the school property. I received this email last week from Michael, a brother who leads the ministry team and the husband of the school’s founder and director.

Brother Wayne, this mighty God we serve all the time He does things beyond human ideas.  We had no idea, plan or projection for this orphan project. We were really surprised after seeing the flow of 300 children including youth, running to our school. It was a big test as to whether we would chase them away or welcome them. We turned to God and in hope and we gave them each a copy of the Swahili book, Nakupenda, He Loves Me. It was just so encouraging to watch them as they began to believe and trust God.

We have a proverb in our Swahili language, translated into English it says, “That generosity is not a demand.” All God has done over there is to melt the heart of the people brothers and sisters, even here in Kenya, to stretch their cheerful hearts towards these starving, innocent children. We didn’t expect any outcome to cover this need, but only wanted to train these kids to use their knees, stretching their hands to God.

As the book of Psalms said, “I will stretch my eyes to the mountains and sees where my help will come from.”  This is what we did and it has brought the entire community to understand that God is love.

The letter comes directly from the Forkland community itself:

Dear brothers and sisters in the Lord, you may not know us physically, On behalf of the entire team in the Forkland community, we would like to send our gratitude first to the Almighty God who gave you the burden and provisions towards these orphaned children.

We would like to state that all of your family, friends, and relatives will remember this donation you gave. It has really changed and affected the potential and the destiny of these children generationally, starting from food, clothing, medication, shelter, and education as well as spiritual life. They can now understand and experience life with God, having only heard of him for many years without witnessing any manifestation. The Bible says those who help the needy lends to God. In Kenya, we have millionaires and billionaires, but none who care about the needy. You sacrificed a lot even for raising money for our Kenyan family. You support people you don’t know and have not yet met, but you are doing it by faith.

We want to remind you that one day in this life or life to come, God will not forget this giving with a cheerful heart of love. (Hebrews 6:10)

We continue to trust God with you that he will continue opening doors so that you, too may not lack anything. Let Almighty God provide for you and do extraordinary things.

Receive greetings from the entire family of 300 kids for standing with them.

May the Lord bless you, and we want you to understand that we really appreciate and give thanksgiving to God to bless the work of your hand. On behalf of Forkland community,

Brother Michael

If you want to help with the continuing needs in Kenya, we are still collecting money to send their way. As always, every dollar you send us gets to the people in Kenya, and all contributions are tax-deductible in the US. We do not take out any administrative or money transfer fees. Please see our Donation Page at Lifestream. Just designate “Kenya” in the “Note” of your donation, or email us and let us know your gift is for Kenya. You can also Venmo contributions to @LifestreamMinistries or mail a check to Lifestream Ministries • 1560 Newbury Rd Ste 1  •  Newbury Park, CA 91320. Or, if you prefer, we can take your donation over the phone at (805) 498-7774

Thank you for your generous hearts toward a people you have never met. I still find that so incredible.

 

A couple of other notes… 

Our next Jake Colsen book club meeting meets this Saturday, August 20, at 1:00 pm PDT. It will stream live on my Wayne Jacobsen Author page on Facebook, but if you want to be in the Zoom room and part of the discussion, email me so I can send you the link. We are reading Chapter 5, Love with a Hook, which explores how religious-thinking people often put demands and expectations on their understanding of God’s love, making it something other than the love God expresses to us.

And, a reminder about our intimate retreat next weekend in Westcliffe, CO where we have been offered a ranch in the Rockies as a place to invite our friends to come and be with us for the weekend. There’s still some room left since we’re throwing this together at the last minute, but you’ll need to sign up with me if you want to come. The cost is $100 per night per person, which includes meals. We’ll start on Friday night and stay over until Monday. You’re welcome to join us for all that or leave on Sunday if you need to. Anyone who feels so stirred is welcome to join us. Here are more details if you need them.

Thank You, from Forkland in Kenya Read More »

A Heavy Heart for my Friends in Ukraine

8 Comments / In the World /

In September of 2018, I was invited to Ukraine and met many incredible, passionate believers there. When I see Ukraine in the news, I don’t think of a country over there somewhere; I think of those people I got to know during those few days.

I sat with them at meals, worshiped with them in the woods, walked in beautiful parks, and celebrated their homeland and their passion for Jesus. Their lives will change drastically in the next few days if Russia invades. They could be at war or captives to a Communist regime once again. It is easy for us to think of this conflict in terms of states and political gamesmanship among world leaders. But it affects people that I know and love.

When you hear about Ukraine these days, please don’t see them simply as a country. These are brothers and sisters with the same hopes, dreams, and aspirations that you and I have.

That’s why Jesus reminded us to love in the singular: “Love one another.”  That’s how God loves, not the whole of humanity but each one individual. He says he loves us all because he loves us each.

Love the Ukrainians today, even though you’ve never met them as individual people and families just like you treasure here. And, please, pray for them.

And see those suffering in Kenya the same way, not with guilt or shame that we have it so good, but with the intense love that the Creator has for his people and the suffering they endure in this fallen world.

 

A Heavy Heart for my Friends in Ukraine Read More »

MENU